SSB: Genesis of Unity
by ngrey651
Summary: Multi-Crossover! Mario, Luigi, Pikachu, Ness, Capt.Falcon, Samus, Yoshi, Jigglypuff, Mewtwo, Donkey Kong and Fox join together in the last battle against Crazy Hand whilst Master Hand reveals the secret he and Crazy Hand share to Nick. Can our Guide find a way to give the beings he's grown to call comrades and friends the happy ending they all deserve? Read, Review!
1. Prologue, Chapter 1

_Sometimes people make mistakes. I mean, REALLY make mistakes. They don't just shoot THEMSELVES in the foot, but everyone around them. And it's horrible, yes, it's terrible, but what will feeling guilty about it do? _

_Nothing. Absolutely nothing. _

_The only thing you can do is keep moving forward. Make amends._

_Even if it takes your entire life. _

_And that...is the cross I must bear for my failure. _

**SUPER SMASH BROS: THE UNITY TRILOGY**

**GENESIS OF UNITY**

**PROLOGUE**

**

* * *

**

"When you think about it...we're the victims here." The being said. "We didn't even want him here. But he's here and he screws everything up. He's like a freeloading cousin that makes your whole house dirtier than it was when he first came. And...and I'm hurt."

"I can understand that."

"This is such incredibly selfish behavior! All we want is complete control over the Multiverse. Is that so much to ask, really?"

"And he's going to threaten it all if he helps them realize "it"."

"...well..." The Being would have sneered if it could have. "We're just going to have to make sure he can't."

"And how do you intend to do that? He DIDN'T come alone."

"I'll handle things on my end." One person spoke up. "I've got a plan for "that" one. My powers will be quite helpful in this regard."

"I know that girl is in MY territory. She shall not pose a threat."

"The Briton goes under MY jurisdiction, then?...lovely. Sigh..."

"You sound depressed."

"Well YOU'VE got the more interesting one to contend with..."

"Interesting, yes. But also the more annoying one."

"...true. True."

"My Goddesses, is that a SMILE?"

"Well it's much like when I was a wee lad and I saw my old, nearly-blind grandmother was trying to hobble towards what she thought was the house, only it was actually a bunch of trees by a lake. I thought "It's too late to stop it, so you might as well just enjoy yourself while it lasts"."

"Ahhh. Yes, yes this IS going to be a good day. I can tell!"

...

...

...

...It was going to be a good day. He could tell. There was just something in the wind, some sense of unbridled glee. The sun was shining just a bit more brightly, the grass seemed just a bit more green. It was as if all of nature was putting in 110%.

He wiped his sweaty forehead with his arm as he leaned against the thick, recently-washed light brown stallion, one hand resting on her fine white mane. Ahhh, what a good girl, he thought, smiling over at her big brown eyes as he looked out over the plains of Hyrule.

The youth worn a plain, white, loose-fitting garment with brown boots tied together with straps. He had a small little headband made out of an old rag which was soaked through with sweat from plowing the fields outside of the farm, and pointed ears that indicated his Hylian heritage. His blue eyes scanned past the hills towards the sight of Castle Town quite some miles away, and he let out a light chuckle, as if feeling sorry for the poor suckers who couldn't live the simple life.

With eyes bluer than the sky and hair an earthy shade of yellow, this particular young man was an ordinary sort with a fairly ordinary name for his kind. The name of a hero from yore.

Link.

...

...

...

... "Didja get the fields plowed?" A man in a brown garment inquired, tilting his head slightly as he shoved some hay into a feeding trough for the horses as Link led his favorite horse in all the wide world into the barn. The man was balding, with a w-shaped beard of brownish/blond hair, and eyes as blue as his son's. Seeing his son nod, he smiled and stood up, the last of the hay put away in the feeding troughs of the animals. He walked over to his son, patting him on the shoulder and nodding in approval. "Nicely done!"

Link nervously shrugged as he then led Epona over to the feeding trough with the other horses, who all began hungrily chowing down on their lunch as his father wiped his forehead. "Hot today, huh? Need another rag for your head?"

His son shook his head and just headed over to one side of the barn wall, taking off an axe from the wall as his dad nodded. "Good, you remembered!" He remarked cheerily, laughing a bit. "You're such a good son, I never have to remind you of anything." He told Link as Link waved goodbye with one hand, the other hoisting the axe onto his shoulder as he headed back out of the barn, out to the forest some distance from the farm. "You'll be careful, as always?" He called out.

His son nodded and waved again, and his father smiled with pride as several other men in similar earthy outfits stepped inside the barn. "Valiant, we need some help killing some rats in the attic, and some horses for the hunt tonight. We plan to ride to the river and get some wild deer when they're taking a drink, maybe do some fishing. Think you and your son would want to join?" A dark-red-haired man, folding his arms, one thick eyebrow raised as he grinned broadly.

"Link and I would be honored, lads." Valiant insisted, walking over to a closet with a thick lock upon it. He took out a key from his shirt pocket, turning it in the lock and pulling out several crossbows, tossing them to each of his friends, grabbing one for himself and then locking the door. "How big? 4, 5 inches?" He inquired, holding the crossbow up.

"More than a half a foot and they tried to make their way into our beds to nibble at our toes." The red-haired man told him solemnly. "They're gettin' BOLD."

"They can't be bold when they're a-nailed to the floor, now can they, laddies?" Valiant asked, raising an eyebrow as he and his friends headed out the barn. "Could be worse. Could be Stalchilds!"

"Don't go a-jinxin' it, Val." The red-haired man laughed as they all began to sing a rousing chorus of their people's anthem.

_**You noble Diggers all, stand up now, stand up now!  
You noble Diggers all, stand up nooooow!  
The wasteland to maintain, seeing Cavaliers by name,  
Your digging does maintain...and persons all defame,  
Stand up now, stand up nooooow!**_

...

...

...

...People think that moving through time and space is something big and spectacular and rather frightening. They've got different ideas on what happens, usually from the films they see, the stories they read. They think when they see it before their eyes, it'll be amazing.

I'm here to tell you this...they're right. But not in the way you'd think. It's not complicated. It's not frightening. It's actually something...familiar.

As the brown-haired, hazel/green-eyed youth walked through the expanse of white around him, he found himself surrounded not by an empty space, but by sights and sounds forever replaying all in long, thick rows. He moved by moments in time and space one step at a time, his head turning left and right, his hands reaching out and faintly brushing against them.

Old movie reels displaying their feature presentations over and over, comforting to the touch. As his hand brushed against them, he could feel, he could FEEL the emotions being carried in that place in reality. He saw and felt the joy of a beautiful wedding by a lake and could hear the happy cries of the crowd as two lovers embraced for the first time as husband and wife. He could feel the sense of pride flowing through the boxer as he held his gloved fist up, a very-much unconscious, vaguely blue-skinned man lying nearby on the ring, smelling of rancid pork. He could hear...

Horses. The whinnying of horses and a slightly folksy, rather charming tune being played on what sounded an awful lot like some kind of...

He turned his head to see, and see he did. That blond hair. That PLACE. The smell of the grass and the mane of the horse. All too familiar. He'd seen it a dozen times before. It was him. HIM.

He waited and watched as those all-too-easily-recognized eyes made their way into the trees, and he found himself drawn towards the strong smell of warm and deep forest. Closer...closer...

His hand grabbed hold of the reel. And with that, he was taken.

...

...

...

...it was going to be a good day. She could tell. There was just something in the way the swirling lights within space were twinkling today, they seemed to be lighting up with some sense of unbridled glee. The stars was shining just a bit more brightly, the nebula she was passing through seemed just a bit more Technicolor, there wasn't an asteroid in sight. It was as if all of nature was putting in 110%.

"I'm gonna LOVE it here." Erin Nightshade remarked, her long locks of red hair falling down past her face as she held up her communicator, flipping the thing open. She'd decided to go with a classic "Cap'n Kirk Flip-Flop" model. In fact, it even had the same paint job. She loved that hammy ol' dude. "Hey honey." She remarked cheerily. "You about to enter the portal?"

"Yeah. Erin, listen, this...is a very serious place. Are you POSITIVE you don't wanna...y'know...trade places?" A voice on the other end asked her, filled with clear concern.

Erin's bright blue eyes twinkled as she kneeled back in the chair she was sitting at. She was currently wearing a maroon t-shirt with a headband as blue as her jeans, and was calmly reclining in her private space shuttle, waiting for a particular target. A particular ship piloted by a particular woman. "You know if I didn't know better, I'd say you were trying to talk me out of kicking ass." She commented cheerily.

"Sweetie, you know I love you. You know I think the world of you. You know I think you're bright and talented in all sorts of ways." White insisted.

"I'm waiting for the "but"."

"Me too, baby!" White laughed raunchily, earning him a "harrumph" from Erin. "But...this place is more dangerous than you'd think. Regardless of what changes have occurred because of her, it was dangerous before and is still dangerous now. We don't even know how much she's changed. Maybe Nick should have gone inste-"

"White. It'll be okay." Erin said. "...have a little faith." She laughed, and with that, she closed the communicator just as her ship's sensors began to pick something up. Turning to the circular-shaped screen to her right, she grinned broadly. "Show...me...the SAMUS." She whispered.

THA-THOOOOOM! A bronze-colored ship with glowing green "visors" for front deck windows rocketed past the small, cloaked shuttle, sending Erin spiraling away a few hundred feet. She managed to re-right herself as the ship she was tracking headed off in the direction of a nearby space station where several dozen Space Pirate ships were stationed. Erin grinned and placed her hand over the joystick of the shuttle that was stationed in the center of her control console.

"Okay, Miss Aran...Nick spoke so highly of you. Let's see what you've been up since last year..."

Samus's ship docked in secret, hidden away from the Space Pirates as Erin followed maneuvered her ship above the station, then "parked" it. Keeping it and herself cloaked as she popped a tiny, disc-like object into the front of her belt, a shield surrounded her, faintly glowing for a moment before fading.

She was quickly dropped into an airlock, then dropped out of the ship, landing right on one edge of the space station. Smiling, she shimmied towards an entrance where trash was deposited, and slipped inside, climbing up mountains of garbage to finally reach her destination...

How fitting that the kitchen was so close. But luckily, that kitchen was also close to the dining hall, where the pirates were. Insectoid yet almost avian in appearance, the huge-clawed, bug-eyed space pirates were all sheathed in exoskeletons similar to some kind of alien crab, with "helmets" to match, and buzzing wings. Most had blood on them.

That wasn't there's. Almost vomiting out of the vent she'd snuck into from the kitchen, Erin suppressed the urge and tried to ignore the smell. This was an important mission and she needed to prove to the others...herself included...that she could handle meeting up with one blond-haired, blue-eyed bounty hunter that was...

Sharing...a DRINK...with a purple, draconic pterodactyl at a table near the front entrance?

"To another successful raid on the Federation Stocks!" Samus Aran, Space Pirate cheered.

"I can't believe you guessed right on the encryption key they had set up for the doors." The space dragon remarked, grinning toothily before sipping on his drink. "Aran got it right." He said smugly to an armored space pirate that seemed more humanoid than insect.

"Well Aran had a lot of HELP." Samus laughed, holding up her glass at the armored humanoid. "Good work on the guards, Weavel. You're getting very good lately."

"It's my pleasure, Sub Commander." Weavel the Space Pirate commented cheerily.

"...something...is very...**wrong** here..." Erin muttered under her breath, eyes narrowing. "Very...very...**WRONG**..."

**CHAPTER ONE**

Link whistled nonchalantly as he walked past tree after tree, the sunlight filtering down through the forest canopy above, a gleeful spring in his step. The mere smell of the green around him filled him with a deep sense of peace. This forest was his home away from home, it was where he went when he had nothing else to do. And, unbeknownst to everyone else, it was where he kept a bit of a secret.

He reached one tree that looked sturdy but small enough to lug back home, and he hoisted the axe up, slamming the edge deep inside and getting to work. It wasn't long before it was cut down, and he was soon ready to get to work on the REAL reason he was here. He deposited the axe in the tree he'd just down, dragging said tree over to a special little clearing some distance away.

Approaching a large stump in the center of the flower-filled clearing, he picked the stump up, revealing a hole that was clearly in frequent use, dug up and filled in over and over. Quickly his digging revealed what he was after... several wooden swords that he'd hand carved, all fine longswords with a fairly large cross guard, the "crest" between the hilt and the blade. He'd painted each one a lovely shade of blue like his eyes, using blueberry paste that had been long-since dried up.

He picked one up and twirled it around in a circular motion, then did some rapid, swift swings, the hard wood cutting through the air as he pretended to circle an enemy. He practiced every day, and every NIGHT...

Mostly to keep himself from dreaming. He kept having those dreams. Those dreams of adventures and fighting, of monsters and demons and a human...

But humans didn't exist. They were make-believe. He KNEW that, it was common knowledge. But why did the dreams hurt him? Why did they fill him with such deep, incredible sorrow...a feeling that he'd lost somebody of infinite value...

He needed to think of something else. ANYTHING el-

Hmm. Wait. The others hadn't hunted in a while. What if tonight they DID go on a hunt? He wouldn't be able to practice on the Stalchilds.

Ah well, he decided, shrugging as he finished up his usual rounds of swordsplay, finally depositing them back in their hidey-hole, heading off back to the farm, unaware that somebody was watching silently from far off in the distance., hazel/green eyes staring at earthy blond hair.

...

...

...

... "Hmm." The King of Hyrule frowned darkly, his dark blue eyes scanning down from his high balcony of the castle that was his home. The blue-roofed castle had soaring ramparts that towered high over the town below as he watched through a telescope down at the people in the town. A man was being tossed out onto the street along with his family and their belongings. A man was yelling furiously at them, shaking his fist at the man and his family and ripping up what appeared to be a contract. "Another tenant evicted."

"Daddy, why are you spying on the town again?" A voice called out from the interior of the room, a voice belonging to a young woman who was sitting in a chair and reading a book with a thick red cover. She had a small golden tiara on her head and wore a royal blue vest and a white shirt to go with it. She had a golden necklace on that revealed the bird-like family crest, symbol of the "Thunderbird".

"It's not the town itself, Zelda dear. It's the people I fret over." He said, frowning through the telescope at the landlord that now closed the door on the family with a SLAM that he could almost hear.

Zelda's long, thick golden blond locks bounced slightly as she shook her head, sighing. "Shouldn't you be concerned with things like outright rebellion and border disputes, not the rising prices of rent?" She wanted to know.

"It's the small things, my dear. The small things that can make or break one's relationship with the people you care for. And a king must be there to care for his people, as your mother was, rest her soul." The king added quietly, stepping back from the telescope and heading back inside his bedroom/study as his daughter put the book down and looked up at him.

"I miss her too, dad." She said quietly, and he could see genuine hurt in her navy blue eyes.

"Well, you'll be Queen when I'm dead, so I want you to take care to notice even the so-called "small things" when you reign." He told her, patting her on the shoulder as he headed over to his desk to look over a new trading treaty between him and the Zora Kingdom. "And don't just stick with the title "Princess". I INSIST you take the title Queen even if you've not got a king yet."

"Even if you just go missing?"

"**Queen**." The king insisted. "And nothing but. Now then...how much do you think would be fair to trade for 200 pounds of fresh salmon?"

"That's a lotta fish." The princess remarked, raising an eyebrow as she looked down at the treaty. "Hmm." She tapped her chin. "How long have they been trading with us again?"

"9 months, remember?" The king asked her.

Zelda stepped back and rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Let's see. 9 months is 15 months under 2 years. Invert that...add one and multiply by the base rate...divide by the "ruled by a woman" coefficient of 1.05 to show we respect their people all the more...add 5 pounds for such short notice since the treaty just came in yesterday and they want it shipped within the next four days...round to two decimal places..."

"You know my dear, for a girl who claims that math is the "most challenging and most easily forgettable" of all her studies..." The king said quietly, his moustache flicking back and forth as he sighed, shaking his head back and forth. "Oh. You have a letter, by the way." He handed her a small letter with a seal and she looked at it, eyes widening. She quickly ripped it open and walked off to her own room, opening the door and looking at it.

"Meet me immediately. This concerns the Diggers. Sincerely, Linwood Dragomir."

...

...

...

...Slowly but surely night was beginning to fall. The sun was setting over the horizon as businesses began to close one after another...and, unfortunately, this also included the offices of the landlords that made up the Castle Town of Hyrule. For a society that had so recently begun to truly progress in science, their souls were not catching up to their minds, which continued to desire more...and in some cases, desire ALL.

The landlords were tight-fisted hands to the grindstone, a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous bunch of sinners.

"...and you would be?" A short-nosed, blue-eyed man with a thick beard and mustache of blond hair commented, raising a thin eyebrow up and rubbing his chin as several other landlords in the town sat at a nearby circular table.

Yes. Sinners all. And this one...was the worst.

And unfortunately, though he didn't look it, he was in a mood as he looked down at a slightly short man with orange/red hair and a stubby little beard who was clutching onto a small hat.

"Ah, that's Mr. Appleby, dear Linwood." Another man commented, one with receding brown hair atop his head that didn't seem proportionate to the immensely thick eyebrows he had. "He wants to talk to you about the rent."

"I KNOW you're upset, Mr. Linwood sir..." Appleby began as Linwood raised an eyebrow, folding his arms. "And I didn't mean to fall behind in my payments, by all the Three Goddesses! And please don't shout at me sir!" He went on as Linwood calmly took in a deep breath, holding the space between his eyes on the bridge of his nose. "And of course, my daughter's lungs aren't as good as they used to be, and the doctor takes HIS share, doesn't he? You can yell and scream all you like-" He went on as Linwood picked him up by the collar and walked over to the door, opening it up. "And you'd be right, but I'm the stone you can't squeeze blood from and that's the TRUUUUU-"

THWOMP!

He landed outside in a nearby carriage that was pulling dung along and managed to squeak out "Thank you for not yelling at me" as the carriage drove off and Linwood closed the door.

"Well." Linwood turned to the others and rubbed his hands together. "Let's get talking about those Diggers, shall we? Or rather, one in particular who's soul we've been trying to keep un-awakened for some time?"

The others all chuckled evilly. "Ah, yes." The brown-haired landlord remarked. "We can't forget dearest-"

CLONK-CLONK-CLONK!

The door opened and Zelda stood there in the doorway, one eyebrow raised. "Hello Linwood." She said, sighing. "What's all this about?"

Linwood Dragomir smiled and motioned for Zelda to sit in a nearby open chair. "You might need to know a thing or two we've discovered about the Diggers. One in particular, named Link."

He unfurled a small paper from his pocket and handed it to Zelda. She saw the seal upon it, glowing bright like gold...three triangles...

Symbol of the Triforce. A prophecy. "The Answer to Armageddon is Among them. The Digger named Link will bring Hyrule to Hell." She read out loud.

"This is one prophecy we cannot allow to come true. Or even come CLOSE to coming true." Linwood said firmly. "The prophecies have-"

"Never been wrong before." Zelda sighed. Prophecies were given to the people daily at the Temple of Time. They instructed people on what the weather would be, what to name their children, when people should be wed, when somebody would die...and they were never wrong. People were waiting for the other shoe to drop on one particular prophecy regarding humans, but many believed that one to be a simple fairy tale, since it had been made at the start of Hyrule's creation and no human had yet to ever be seen...

But this?

This was something to take seriously.

"Another glorious hunt!" Valiant cheered, holding a mug of freshly-brewed beer up into the air and happily clinking it with one of his many friends as he and the others all sat around in the dining hall of the farm. It was an enormous room with large rafters overhead, and many long, long tables to allow dozens of people to eat together. Wooden bowls and plates heaped with food were being handed left and right, with a fresh mixture of roasted potatoes, chunks of cheese and, best of all...

The venison. They'd caught themselves four deer and dozens of fish, and were all eagerly enjoying a lovely little group feast tonight. They would indeed eat well, Link thought as he put the cup of beer to his mouth and allowed the warm liquid to slip down his throat. But he wanted to hurry up and finish off his beer so he could get out and do some patrolling...good, old-fashioned nighttime training.

"Those cityfolk. I wish they could enjoy themselves the right way. More beer?" One woman asked Link, holding up a mug and pouring him some more as he nodded in thanks at her, the other people in the dining hall beginning to sing, waving their mugs or food in the air.

_**With spades and hoes and plowes, stand up now, stand up now  
With spades and hoes and plowes stand up nooooow!  
Your freedom to uphooooold, seeing Cavaliers are bold!  
To kill you if they could, and rights from you to hold,  
Stand up now, Diggers aaaall! **_

Meanwhile, one aggravated-looking middle-aged woman tied her hair into a ponytail and tried to scrub a chunk of tossed, slightly-undercooked fish off of one of the many handwoven tapestries that hung around the hall to spruce it up. She looked over at Link and gave him a "what can you do?" look as she headed over to his spot and kissed her son on the head. "You want some more food, son?"

Link shook his head and his mother Marian smiled kindly at him. "I'm going to go get Epona ready for your little "stroll", alright?" She said with a knowing wink, leaving the hall as more and more people began to sing even more raucously than before.

_**The lawyers they conjoyne, stand up now, stand up now,  
The lawyers they conjoyne, stand up nooooow!  
To arrest you they adviiiise, such fury they devise,  
The devill in them lies, and hath blinded both their eyes,  
Stand up now, stand up nooooow! **_

_**The clergy they come in, stand up now, stand up now,  
The clergy they come in, stand up noooow!  
The clergy they come iiiiin, and say it is a sin  
That we should now begin, our freedom for to win,  
Stand up now, Diggers aaaaaall!**_

Link took another swig of his beer, finishing it off and deciding to just let them finish out the song before he headed out to go on patrol. He thought about what the woman who had poured him beer had said. What was her name...Rosa, right. He remembered. She was always going on about those "poor cityfolk" as if they really didn't know any better, and in many ways, they didn't. She was right, they didn't understand the Diggers and their ways and didn't even WANT to.

_**The club is all their law, stand up now, stand up now,  
The club is all their law, stand up nooooow!  
The club is all their law to keep men in awe,  
But they no vision saw to maintain such a law.  
Stand up now, Diggers aaaaaall!**_

_**The Cavaliers are foes, stand up now, stand up now,  
The Cavaliers are foes, stand up nooooow!  
The Cavaliers are foes, themselves they do disclose  
By verses not in prose to please the singing boyes.  
Stand up now, Diggers aaaaaall!**_

It wasn't like they looked differently, like the bulky, rock-headed Gorons or the aquatic and fishlike Zora, or foul murdering big-nosed thieves like the Gerudo. The only difference between those outside Hyrule Castle Town and those within were personal beliefs. And it saddened Link to think about this. He shook his head slowly as the song finally came to an end and he headed out the door, thinking about the last verse.

_**To conquer them by love, come in now, come in now  
To conquer them by love, come in nooooow!  
To conquer them by love, as it does you behove,  
For He is King above, no power is like to love,  
Glory here, Diggers aaaaaall...**_

...

...

...

...the moon over Hyrule hovered in the night sky, gently glowing a pale white upon the many beautiful plains as Link had his sharpest wooden sword strapped onto his back, and was now currently wearing some leather gauntlets that had metallic tips on the knuckles. He did a few practice swings in the air, then continued walking through the plains as the stars began to appear one at a time now that the moon was rising all the more highly.

Just another day, just another night, he thought, sighing slightly as he heard the sound of crunching soil being turned over as skeletal beings began to rise up from the ground behind him. Red eyes sunken into hollow sockets, a head that was missing the lower jaw, sharp reddish/brown claws and a faint tattered brown loincloth that swayed back and forth...

This was a Stalchild, and it was slowly lurching towards Link as others began to rise up from the ground to get a piece of him...and they wanted him RAW. He held his sword up and twirled it around slightly.

_**"Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and fight the fight!"**_ He swung the sword and it struck the Stalchild before him in the chest, which he followed up with a swift kick, knocking the thing back.

"_**Still, I always feel this strange estrangement..."**_

It rushed back at him, snarling but he jumped up through the air, stabbing his sword in through it's head, making it disintegrate into dust that floated to the ground. _**"Nothing here is real, nothing here is right!" **_

Another Stalchild howled with fury, scuttling at him like a bony crab, but he quickly backhanded it away, and then slammed his fist into what passed for his "chin", knocking it flat on its back. _**"I've been making shows of trading blows, just hoping no one knows...that I've been going through the motions...walking through the part."**_

The last punch knocked the Stalchild to the ground and he sighed, shaking his head as he held his sword up and looked it over. The Stalchild popped up to try and grab ahold of him again, but he twisted around, and the sword shot through it's bony body, ripping the chest open like tissue paper and turning it to dust. _**"Nothing seems to penetrate my **__**heeaaaaart!**__**"**_

Several Stalchildren rushed forward, trying to attack Link as he twirled around, slicing and slashing at the undead hordes, leaping through the air and continuing to sing. _**"I was always brave and kind of righteous, now I find I'm wavering!"**_

He turned to notice a much LARGER Stalchild was staring down at him. He sighed and jumped up, punching it across the face. _**"Crawl out of your grave, you'll find this fight, just doesn't mean a THING!"**_

It rubbed it's chin. "He ain't got that swing!" It commented, kicking Link to the ground, who rubbed his head.

"Thanks for noticing!" The blond youth muttered darkly.

The Stalchild rolled it's eyes and turned around to shrug. "Link does pretty well with fiends from hell, but lately we can tell...he's been going through the motions...faking it somehow! He's not in even half the man he..."

SCHLUCK!

Link's sword was thrown right through the center of his forehead and the thing sank to it's knees. "OW..." It announced before turning to dust.

Link sighed as he pulled the sword up and swung it at a group of nearby Stalchildren, cutting them where they stood. _**"Will I stay this way forever, sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?"**_

One Stalchild managed to grab his arm, raising a set of claws up. "We will make you PAY-"

"Whatever!" Link cut the offender's head off_**. "I don't wanna beeeeee...going through the motions...losing all my drive! I can't even see...if this is really me! And I just wanna be..."**_ The last of the Stalchildren rushed forward, leaping through the air to try and squish him, but he held his sword up with a quick thrust and THWOOM. It speared the thing, turning it to dust that scattered through the air.

"_**Aliiiiive!" **_

And with one final, wistful sigh he headed back towards the farm, not noticing that somebody was sitting rather uncomfortably in a tree, watching the whole thing with interest. "Heh...those moves. He's exactly like I'd hoped he'd be. If only Kevin could see him now. He's going all "Highlander" on villains now. All he needs is the "Brenda" to his Conner MacLeod...where IS Zelda anyhoo?"

"You want me to WHAT?" Zelda asked as she put her hands on her hips, one eyebrow raised.

"Meet with the Diggers. Get to know them. Live among them. They've no idea of what goes on in the city and WE'VE no idea of what really goes on in their home. Frankly, that's no way to live in this world. They're our next door neighbors and we don't even know any of their names." The King informed his daughter as he put the last button in on his pajamas. "Tomorrow you are going to go there, to the farm. You'll be in disguise and will ask to stay there in exchange for work. I want you to make up a believable story as to why you're going out there."

"But-but-but...they don't even have BATHS! Or...or electricity! Or-"

"Or studies."

"...okay, fine, that's ONE reason to go, but still-" Zelda began.

Her father held his hand up. "I'll give you one very, VERY good reason to go. I'm your father. You're my daughter. You do what I say. And that's FINAL." He said.

"Not the " Because I Said So" excuse!" Zelda whined, tugging on her pointy ears. "Isn't...isn't there anything that TRUMPS "because I said so"?" She whimpered.

"No, sweetie." Her father said.

"...I'll be weeks without a shower." Zelda mumbled as she staggered into her father's embrace and he held her tightly.

"Theeeeere there. It's alright. It'll be okay." He crooned to her. "It'll be okay, sweetie."

But inwardly, Zelda was grinning. This was her chance to find out about that mysterious Digger that Linwood had warned her about.

A name that seemed eerily familiar...

Link.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

She flexed and unflexed her hands as she waited by the men's bathroom on the space station. All she needed was just one grunt to go inside and be alone and away from the others. Gripping ahold of her high-power plasma pistol, she waited...

"_**Three little girls from school are we! Prettiest schoolgirls we can be!"**_ One space pirate sang out. And not just ANY space pirate. Weavel, of all people. The one who, from what she remembered, supposedly HATED Samus Aran and the Federation. _**"Everything is a source of fun! Fa-la-la-la-la-laaaa!"**_ He sang out, entering the men's bathroom.

What was Samus even doing working for the space pirates, Erin pondered as she quickly slunk in to the men's bathroom, knocking Weavel out with a silenced stun shot to the back of his head, in his vulnerable area.

All of "Sammy's" actions made no sense. It was so...so...out of character! She had to find out the truth.

Quickly dragging his body OUT of the men's bathroom, she dragged him into the women's bathroom and into the nearest stall, which, luckily, was the one big enough to be a private suite room. She tapped on his head with her knuckles and he slowly opened his eyes, looking to the right at the woman who currently had a plasma pistol to his now-exposed head.

"Okay, let's talk." She asked, trying to sound as tough and gruff as possible. "I have questions. You answer them, alright? Samus Aran's currently head of the space pirates. How'd that happen?"

"What're you, stupid?" Weavel snapped over at her, pointed teeth gnashing. "She's been commander ever since Mother Brain appointed her!"

Mother Brain. That made Erin's eyes widen for a moment before she re-focused. She needed to know more. "Okay. Mother Brain. How many times has she died?"

"None." Weavel remarked, giving her a confused expression, his orange/yellow eyes blinking stupidly. What was this humanoid playing at?

"How many times has Samus "died" only to get revived by something related to the Metroids?"

"None."

"How many times has RIDLEY died, even if he ended up coming back covered in some kind of armor?"

"Well...none!"

"...something...is VERY...**WRONG** here." Erin muttered. She then turned her head, blue eyes widening as she heard Samus calling out to the other pirates. Oh crap. She was coming inside.

Idea. After finishing some touches on Weavel, Erin carefully shimmied underneath the stall door, clinging to the edge and waiting as Samus entered the stainless-steeled bathroom.

_**"And I try...and I try...and I tryyyyy, yeaaah! Oh, yeah, to love that little girl of mine!"**_ Samus sang out, going to one of the sinks to wash her face before she got to work on actually doing her business. But it was just as she was about to enter Erin's stall when she heard moaning...

Samus opened up the largest bathroom stall, eyes widening at the sight of Weavel sitting on the toilet and looking...well...

"Good LORD, Weavel, were you ja-I mean...in the girl's BATHROOM?" She snapped. "To the thought of ME? " Her bright blue eyes blazed with cold fury and she clenched her fists.

Weavel finally came back into full consciousness and looked down, realizing that he was no longer wearing any kind of pants. He saw Aran's baleful eyes and almost peed himself on the spot. "GAH! Ma'am! I-er...it's...it's **not** what it looks like, really!" He insisted, quickly diving for the floor and picking his armored pants back up, trying to slap them back on.

"Men are **PIGS**." Samus muttered. "Weavel, you've earned yourself a day in the hole for this." She snapped at him, punching him in the side of the head before heading out of the bathroom, dragging him behind.

Erin breathed a sigh of relief. SAVED.

...

...

...

..."Diggers all!" Valiant announced, holding up one hand as another clasped the girl tightly to his other side. "Today we've got a new arrival from the city who's given up her life of wanton waste to live the simple, but beautiful life we have out here!" He gestured with his head at the blond young woman he was introducing. "Care to tell your name to everyone? We ALL know each other's names."

"I'm...Zelda." Zelda nervously said. "I'm kind of surprised you just...decided to let me in. You don't, like, have to make me fill a form out?"

"This ain't the city, lass. Anybody can join." Valiant insisted, smiling broadly. He then led her through the dining hall, as one by one various diggers greeted her with cheers, nods and waves of the hand. "That's Richard, that's William, that's Alexander, that's Esther, that's Daniel, that's Napoleon, that's Elizabeth..."

Finally he got to the person who was now rubbing dust off a keg of beer with a rag. "And THIS...is my son, Link." He said. "Ain't that funny! Yer both a-named after those famous legends of lore! Then again, pretty much EVERYONE was naming their sons and daughters "Link" and "Zelda" last year, weren't they?"

Link politely bowed his head and then went up to her, shaking her hand. "Good morrow to you." He told her.

"I'd like you to show her where she'll be sleeping. We have shared bedrooms, you see." Valiant went on, eyes closed, unable to see a slightly panicked-looking Zelda, who gulped a bit as Link's father led her up the stairs. Link, meanwhile, decided he'd like to go back to his special place to relax.

Upon arriving there though, he found something was on a stump. Or rather, someone. It was a person with brown hair, who was trying to play on a blue ocarina. Link scratched his head, approaching this person from behind as the song continued to play. It was a deep and thoughtful sort of tune, done in a waltz-like format. Link found himself slowly weaving his head back and forth as the young man continued to play.

And then the person finally stopped, turning around and smiling. "Hey." He said. "Hi there. What's happening?"

"...what?" Link scratched his head.

"What's up? How's it hanging?" The hazel/green-eyed youth asked, a necklace with a blue orb hanging down.

"..."

"...how are you feeling today?" Nick finally asked.

"Well, until you stopped playing that song...rather..." Link rubbed his chin. "..."

"Romantic?" The kid asked.

"Yes, that's it." Link admitted. "It sounded very-"

He then saw it. The EARS. They weren't pointed. They were ROUNDED.

Rounded ears. And the clothes weren't exactly...this wasn't right. "You're mad...the way you speak, your clothes...all **mad**, it...why do you look like a HUMAN?" Link wanted to know, eyes widening, taking a few steps back.

"I AM a human." The teenager said. He then sighed and stood up. "I take it...there's some legends about my kind."

"From what my parents have said of the prophecy of the Goddesses, the appearance of your kind shall bring about the death of us all!" Link hissed, pushing the human down as he pulled the stump away, digging quickly to get at a wooden sword beneath as the human teen rubbed his head, standing up. "I'll slay you before-"

"You're what, 5, 6 years older than me and you wanna murder me because of some old folk tale?" The teenager asked.

Link frowned darkly as he kept digging. "Legends are powerful truths in Hyrule! They're what we've based our lives upon! There's not a single prophecy in Hyrule that didn't come true!" He went on. "From what the weather shall be to when babies shall be born to who will be the next ruler of the land, we know all we know because the Goddesses's words have been given to us through the Prophecies-"

He turned around, sword in hand. "HAVE NEVER BEEN WRONG!"

The kid was gone. Link blinked, and then tossed the sword to the ground. "Hellfire." He muttered angrily.

He then sighed. "Who am I kidding? I would have taken off halfway through that speech too."

...

...

...

...Link was now shoveling...manure...in the horse's stables as Zelda washed the horses off. Yes, she'd immediately been put to work and was trying not to talk about how disgusting she found it all to be. But she wouldn't shut up about her studies.

"You're lucky, you don't have to do any of them. But since I was supposed to be head of the household one day, I had to learn so many things...most of which I don't care about." She added, sighing. "Like math. Name one example of when I'm going to need to know more than simple addition, subtraction and the like."

Link just nodded and kept shoveling shit.

"And then there's cooking. What a waste of time. I mean, it's not like we're in 1700 anymore, this isn't the "Dark Ages". We Hylians are more enlightened than ever before. We have ELECTRICITY for the Goddesses's sake, and people still think women NEED to know how to cook?"

Link just nodded and kept shoveling shit.

"And of course, there's the other races of Hyrule that daddy, he's the big trader I told you about, keeps trading with. He just LOVES all the spicy food of the Goron People but if you ask me the only good thing they're given us are has been those developments in explosives and-"

"Stop right there." Link stiffened. "Did you just say...you like...bombs?" He asked quietly, turning his head slowly to gaze upon her.

"Yeah." She remarked.

**SFX: Hallelujah Choir**

"By the Goddesses, I LOVE tinkering with that stuff!" Link laughed. "In fact, I..." He looked left, then right, gazing around the stables. Satisfied that nobody was listening, and not paying attention to the person hiding in the hay in the rafters above, he grinned. "I've actually got a little something I've been working on. Well, little someTHINGS." He remarked.

"What would THEY be?" Zelda inquired.

...

...

...

... "Okay, it's very simple." Link explained as he and Zelda stood in the fields some distance from the stables. Before them both was a tube-like object with a pointed end, and a tiny fuse sticking out near the back of the tube. "I grounded up FIVE bomb flowers and turned them into this dust that I've put inside this little wonder here." He knelt by the tube thing and patted it proudly. "I light the fuse, and it'll channel the explosion through some tinier tubes I installed...you can see the ends sticking out here." He lifted the thing up and pointed at the end.

"Oh, and it'll be sent flying?" Zelda inquired. "Wow, that's neat." She remarked.

"I've been forced to rebuild this thing over and over, but I'm getting better at aiming it since I've figured out how it curves." He told Zelda as he held up two small flint rocks. He knelt by the rocket, putting it in place and struck the rocks together, causing sparks. Soon the fuse was lit, and they ran some distance away.

SCHA-THWOOOOSH! The rocket soared higher, higher into the sky, and Zelda and Link eagerly watched as it rose up through the clouds. "Now watch, it'll curve down, and hopefully hit that target over there." Link said, pointing across the fields at a big, open tarp he'd put down and painted a red and white target on.

Unfortunately, that wasn't what happened. What happened was that the rocket promptly hit what appeared to be a very enormous owl. It let out a horrible squawking HOOT as it burst into flames, various pieces of feathers and skin flying through the air as Link and Zelda flinched, giving each other nervous looks as the owl began to splutter around in the air, trying to regain control...

And then it barreled down, down...heading for the stables.

"Ohhhhh dear." Link remarked as the enormous, burning owl set the entire place aflame. He and Zelda raced for the stables as fast as they could. "Dammit, if only my father and the men weren't out on another hunt! Zelda, get all the women you can from the house over here to help!" He insisted.

"On it." Zelda said, nodding firmly and racing for the main residence hall of the Diggers as Link burst into the stables. He was determined to get the horses out of the surging-hot inferno that the place had become. It was roughly like walking into a kitchen that had left every single oven on...fire was racing up from the chunky, bulging hulk of the owl and spreading all over, itching to feast upon everything-

What the?

The human was there in the center of the stable, and handed Link the reigns to all the horses. "Get them out of here." He insisted.

"You're-" Link began.

"Kill me later, save horses NOW." The kid snapped.

Link decided it was not worth it to argue and he quickly led the horses outside, in the direction of Zelda as several dozen women with buckets of water ran towards him. "They're all out?" Zelda inquired nervously, wiping sweat from her forehead.

"Yes, they're-"

SHA-SPLOOOOOSH! Everyone's head whipped around to see an ENORMOUS explosion of water coming from inside the stable, torrents flooding out of the door and the windows, washing everybody several dozen feet away. Coughing and spluttering, their clothes now soaking wet, Link and Zelda stood up as Link approached the stable nervously, peeking inside.

The human was gone, the owl's body was...cleaner...and the stable was no longer on fire, though visible scorch marks were everywhere. He gaped at the sight as the other Diggers, Zelda included, looked around.

"What...happened?" One woman inquired.

"...it's a miracle. A sheer miracle." Zelda whispered.

Link only felt bad that he could not take credit for this. Instead, he thought back to that human.

...what if?...

...just what IF...

"We'd...better get to cleaning this." Zelda admitted nervously. "It was our responsibility to clean the stables up today, right? This is "in the job description"."

"Yes, yes, we'll...we'll make haste." Link muttered, earning him a suspicious glance from Zelda. She had a sneaking suspicion there was something he was hiding. Something big.

...

...

...

...the human was there at the clearing again the next day, playing the same song, his own head weaving slowly back and forth to the music as Link rubbed the back of his head. "...yesterday you did something...I appreciate. So...I'd like to thank you for that." He said.

The teen stopped playing. "...you're welcome." The teen said. "...to be honest...I was hiding in the barn, watching you and Zelda." He told Link.

Link gaped at this. "You were...why were-"

"I've kind of...admired you for a long time." The human admitted. "I mean, who HASN'T heard of the Legend of Zelda and of the Hero of Time, Link? That stuff's...well..." He sighed happily and got off the stump, gesturing at the sky. "It's like something from out of fairy tale." He said wistfully. "I came here to see it all for my own eyes, but..."

His tone then turned sad. "...it isn't...like I'd hoped. It's like...the fairy tale I knew...was a poor adaptation...and the real thing seems...less real than what I was told. Nothing here is real-"

"Nothing here is right?" Link asked, and suddenly something within his heart seemed to resonate. "...I know what you mean. It feels like..." He walked around to stand by the human, putting his hand over his own heart. "Like my dreams are more real than what is around me." He admitted.

"I don't want to destroy anybody or anything. I think there's something wrong with all of Hyrule, but I don't want to hurt anybody to change it." The teen insisted. "And you want it to feel "real", the same way I do." He told Link.

"...I do." Link admitted.

"...I think...and this is just a guess...that it has to do with Zelda." Nick said. "In the old legends, they always...you know..." He shrugged. "They met...and then, when the time came, true love's kiss made everything better."

"I LIKE her, but not-"

"I know, I know. I'm just saying, one day, if...you two, maybe...grow to like-like each other..." The teen remarked, shrugging. "...well, then maybe..." He sighed. "It's kind of stupid, I guess..."

"Nah. It's..." Link smiled. "Romantic."

"...I'm Nick." Nick said, extending his hand. "Nick Grey."

"Grey?"

"...you don't have last names in your world?" Nick asked.

"Huh?"

"...nevermind." Nick shrugged. "Lemme try again. I'm Nick. And you?"

"Link." Link greeted right back, shaking Nick's hand. "Good to meet you."

Zelda, watching from a tree branch, hidden in the leaves, widened her eyes. He was talking to a HUMAN.

"I KNEW it...so that's how..." She whispered sadly. She frowned slightly. "I've got to get him away from that human. If I can do that..."

...

...

...

... "Some people like to look at the goblet as half empty. Me? I like to look at it as half-full." Linwood Dragomir commented as he stroked his beard. "In fact, I look at it as 3/4th full." He remarked cheerily. "With ¼ so kindly taken from the populace as RENT."

That got a laugh from the other landlords as they sat around in their main office building, clinking glasses. "And we're not simply colleagues! We're a FAMILY, all of us. Cake?" He held up a small tray with some angel food cake on top. "Cake?"

"There is a "but" coming, is there not?" The thick-eyebrowed colleague of Linwood, Anderson, inquired.

"Yes. We're all family here, and we've all done a wonderful job so far." Linwood told them all as the cake was passed around. "BUT...there's one thing I need to nitpick. This one thing being "the one that got away". The one person who's been resisting since day one, who caused all of this to BE..." He gestured around at the room. "My source on the inside, Zelda, alerted me that he's met with a human. A human with a necklace that had a blue, round stone...a human with a blue vest and pair of pants...a human with a green shirt and eyes to match..."

The others eyes widened in horror. "...you mean..." Anderson whispered.

"Yes! THAT one, Nick Grey! The one who walked away from everything apparently has had a "crisis of conscience". He's back. And if he helps Zelda and Link get together, if they share True Love's Kiss..." He slammed his fists into the table, causing all of the glasses upon it to fall over, and the tragic loss of several pieces of cake. "I'M!" He stood up, eyes widening in fury. "GOING! TO! GET! **ANGRYYYYYY!**"

The others gulped nervously and shimmied their chairs away as Linwood took several deep breaths, then sat back down. "...now. Ideas? Anyone? Anyone?" He remarked cheerily.

"Link's not got the skills he once had. All he knew is nothing more than dreams. If we actually sent him up against something besides Stalchilds..." Anderson mused.

Linwood grinned. "I KNEW there was a reason I wanted to make you my partner."

Anderson beamed. "Really?"

"Really-really." Linwood held up a glass, and took out a small notepad from his pocket, along with a pencil. "We shall recommend to Zelda that the Diggers should try and reach out to other races. Send envoys...send Link and herself. They'll go marching into dangerous territory, unaware of how deadly the lands they'll be visiting truly are...and we'll have our problems solved." Linwood told them all with a cheery smile.

"Now. Suggestions!" he passed the notepad to another person. "Everyone write down which land you think they should pay a visit to, and the one with the most votes will be where they'll go. Try and think of someplace NASTY..."

He then clapped his hands together and broadly smiled. "I'll go get some more cake." He added cheerily.

...

...

...

...Erin frowned darkly as she thought to herself, hiding inside of a nearby vent and scurrying along. "Clearly the entire world's been altered to be pro-space-pirate. And I'll bet Mother Brain's got something to do with it." She muttered. "I've got to find her when she's alone. No doubt she's full of herself enough to talk to herself when she thinks nobody's listening...and most likely about HOW she did all of this."

She then grinned. "I'm getting better at this! Nick would be proud."

She made her way through the vent, following after Samus, who was speaking to Ridley. "So he's going to be in the "Hole" for a day. MAYBE longer unless he really starts to beg."

"I'll be sure to get my camera ready, then. You didn't take any limbs off him, did you?" Ridley wanted to know.

"No, I did not remove any of his "tasty organs" for you."

"Awww." Ridley pouted slightly. "Sammy, I'm HURT."

"You had a big lunch anyhow. In any case, we have one more raid to do on the Federation this week before we report back to Mother Brain." Samus went on, her tone shifting from the casual, almost gently teasing voice she'd had before to something a bit more "official".

Ah-ha. Mother Brain. Erin grinned broadly as she continued to follow after them. "So then...where shall we be striking at this time?" Ridley mused. "Oh right, I almost forgot. It's MY choice this time." He said happily. He rubbed his clawed hands together, and it looked like his tail was wagging with joy. "Ohhhh, this shall be fun!" He said as Samus got out a small, disc-like object.

She put the object on the ground, and before Erin's eyes a glowing, grid-like object was displayed in midair. It showed off several dozen dots on the grid that expanded outward, forming planets, asteroid belts, even various nebulas. Ridley rubbed his considerably large chin, then pointed at one area. "K-2L!" He decided, pointing at one forest-covered planet. "It's got a fine supply of Afluorite and it's very close to our home base anyhow." He informed Samus as the blond picked the map display back up.

For a brief moment Erin felt something. FELT it. A twinge of recognition seemed to flitter through Samus's soul, but then, as quickly as it came, it was gone. "Alright, K2-L it is." Samus Aran said, nodding firmly. "I'll go alert the others, you prepare our ship." She said.

Ridley headed off down the hallway. "And Ridley?" She called out.

"Yes?" Ridley yelled back.

"Don't scratch the ship when you put it out of parking." She added.

"...only happened TWICE." He muttered to himself as Samus giggled a little, heading in the opposite direction.

...

...

...

..."This is a very big responsibility." Valiant told his son as he clasped him on the shoulder, with he, Marian, Zelda and Link standing outside of the main hall of the Diggers, the others all eagerly watching. "You've had to shoulder much since your mother and I founded the Diggers. But it's time for a new change. It's time to spread our hopes and dreams through Hyrule, to make others besides those in Castle Town aware of our cause!"

Link was no longer wearing his usual clothes. He'd now put on a green shirt with a green pair of shorts to match, and a long, slightly pointed elfin cap that trailed down from the top of his head. He wore an impressive-looking belt with several bottles attached around his waist, and a fine set of brown leather boots and gloves, complete with an earring on his right ear that resembled the famous Triforce.

"You look absolutely smashing!" Zelda complimented. "You should wear this all the time. It really brings out the color of your eyes." She added with a kindly smile.

"Ah, Dad, I dunno. I mean, I know you were saving this for a big, fancy occasion, like my wedding or something..." Link admitted nervously.

"You're going off into Hyrule as delegates of the Diggers. You deserve to look your best." Valiant insisted proudly.

"Miss Zelda, I must say, I'm surprised you wish to go along." Marian admitted. "It seems rather...dangerous. I don't want you to get hurt, you're still rather new to all of this."

"Well do any of YOU happen to speak other languages besides basic Hylian? Have you actually SEEN a Goron or a Zora?" Zelda asked with faint veneer of superiority. The others nervously shook their heads and sighed as Link smiled at this.

"She'll be very useful, father. And I'll protect her with my life." He promised.

"You'll need more than a wooden sword though." Marian said, removing something she had on her back. "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." She told him softly, handing Link something in a rather large scabbard.

It was a real, metal sword. A hilt cool to the touch...a small, golden shard in the center of the blueish/purple-painted guard...a slightly pointed pommel at the end...he allowed the blade to slowly unsheathe, running one finger through the fuller in the middle. "...you're giving me...this is beautiful." He said. "Mother, where'd you get this?"

Marian smiled broadly. "My dear boy, your mother has a few tricks up her sleeve still. You don't think I did cooking ALL day?" She laughed, pinching his cheek affectionately. "Now good luck." She added, giving him a hug for good measure as his father nodded firmly. "Come back safe."

Zelda smiled at Link as he sheathed the sword again and slung it over his shoulder. Waving at the others, they headed across the plains. Death Mountain waited them!

...

...

...

...Hyrule was a beautiful, lush land. There was no denying that. The enormous windswept valleys of the land gently rising and falling like the breathing of some gigantic body, the occasional scattered tree, and a soothing wind..all served to make Hyrule's landscape peaceful.

The wind was especially calming. Yes, the wind. Link loved it most of all. The way it felt in his hair as he and Zelda walked through the fields towards the entrance to Kakariko Village And it too was a peaceful little place. Quaint little houses of stone, a large tree in the center of the village, but that's not where they were going, oh no.

In contrast to the cozy little hamlet that they were in, their final destination was the enormous hulking frame of Earth that was the aptly named "Death Mountain". Rising up as if to pierce the sky itself, Death Mountain's peak towered over their heads as they looked up from the base, sighing.

To reach the top would be a long, hardy trek. Fortunately, the trail of Death Mountain ran around and around the mountain in a clear-cut path. As long as you were quick enough to dodge the occasional boulder that would crumble down from the top, you'd be alright.

UNfortunately, there were Red Tektites in the way. Insectoid monsters with a single red eye at the front, and yellowish/green legs, with hard, crab-like shells. Dozens of them were hopping around on the slim path that led up Death Mountain. Hopping onto each OTHER and-

"Of all the times for this to be Mating Season for the creatures on Death Mountain..." Link muttered as he looked over at Zelda. The two of them were currently hiding behind an enormous, craggy outcropping of rock that prevented the Tektites from seeing them. But they'd have to get up the mountain eventually. They'd have to face those THINGS eventually. "Good GODDESSES, that SOUND they are making is **UNHOLY!**"

"What are we to do?" Zelda asked. "Should we wait for nightfall?"

"They'll stop eventually...wait. I've got an idea." He added. "You stay hidden in Kakariko Village and watch me from the topmost house." He held up a bottle filled with a small amount of lantern oil and then a small box of matches. "When they're all finished, I'll light this up and we can get going. No reason for the two of us to stay here at the same time, and we might need some supplies."

Nodding, Zelda headed back to Kakariko Village as Link carefully hid behind the rocky crag, peeking out, eyes narrowed intently. He'd wait as long as it took. Deciding to kill some time, he took out a small book from his belt, a handguide on "Wild Beasts of Hyrule" he'd been reading in his spare time. He flipped to the "Death Mountain" section.

"Tektite. One-eyed, arachnoid enemy...variety of colors, commonly found in dry areas, such as Death Mountain...fairly easy to defeat..." He mumbled.

Bored...bored...bored...

"Dodongo. Large, lizard-like enemies, the Dodongo dislike smoke..."

Bored...bored...bo...r...e...d...

...ZZZZZZ...

...

...

...

... "This sure is slow." Zelda remarked as she sat atop of the red-topped roof of Kakariko village as the sun began to slowly set in the distance, casting diminishing rays over the land. She brushed some of her hair away, sighing slightly. She continued to look over in Link's direction, eyes peering intently, patiently waiting...waiting...waiting.

On the bright side, those in Kakariko Village had been quite eager to hear WHY she was sitting atop a roof and looking over in the direction of the base of Death Mountain. So she'd gone into the whole "explaining about the Diggers" thing and thus had drawn more attention to the cause. That was good, right?

Plus there was a window nearby. Occasionally muffins and cookies would be lifted up by the nice middle-aged couple who lived in the house who's roof she was a-sitting on. She picked up the last cookie from the plate she'd been using and began to chew on it as the sun continued to set. When would it be all clear? When would it be safe? When would enough of them-

"You'd best be a-comin' inside now, honey." The husband who owned the house she was sitting on said, sticking his head from up out of the roof window behing her. "It gets real dangerous after dark. We don't even let our cats and DOGS stay out here long."

"It's fine, really, I can protect myself." She said in a dismissive tone.

"Ma'am, really, I don't think you understand, there's all kinds of monsters-"

"I'll be FINE." Zelda snapped.

"...she ain't comin' back in, Harriet!" The man called back down.

"Well if she ain't comin' back in, YOU come back in, Murray!"

"Fiiiine, fiiiiine!" Murray remarked. "I warned ya though, missy." He told her, sighing as he closed the window up.

"Yeah, sure." Zelda commented, not listening as her eyes peered out through the darkness that was now falling. "I've got it under control."

What she didn't know, though, was that Link had fallen asleep. He was leaning against the rock, mumbling to himself, disturbed by strange, strange dreams...such familiar clothes...and people...

_He held the Master Sword up high as he faced down the blue-skinned moblin beast, it's earthy brown armor and piggish snout making it look even more grotesque than the usual brand. Getting intoa battle position, he parried a few quick blows from the moblin, then leapt up into the air, avoidoing a low sweep._

_"You look as though you could use a fencing lesson." Link told him. He wasn't being mocking, he was sincere. "You're not used to fighting people with actual swords, are you? It's all farmers with pitchforks and the like. But you're not fighting a simple farmhand NOW!" _

_The thing swung at him again, but he missed. Link then swerved around, slashing with his sword. SCHA-SWOOSH! The blade struck hard, and in a flash of blue-tinged light, the Moblin was gone. He turned his head, seeing another Moblin off in the distance by a nearby alley, and he advanced as a red and white-jacketed human with brown hair held up what appeared to be some kind of shooting weapon, just in case._

_His name. He KNEW this person's name. What was it? What was-_

Link's eyes snapped open. He blinked. So close! He'd been so close. He kept flashing in and out of these moments. Why did he never remember anything important? Why did this fruit continue to tempt-

...oh. It was night. He nervously blushed and stuck his head back around the rock, silently thanking the Goddesses that no monsters had come to have their way with him.

Nothing was there at the base of Death Mountain. It was clear!

And so, in a matter of seconds, Link's lantern was piercing through the darkness. Zelda quickly stood up, grinning broadly. It was safe! Finally! Her heinie was sore from sitting down for so-

Suddenly his lantern began being waved back and forth rapidly, and he was shouting something. She put one hand to her ear to try and focus in on what he was yelling.

"...hind...it's...you...be..."

"WHAT?" She yelled.

"...behind...Zelda!"

"Behind-?"

_Uhoh. _

Zelda turned around just in time to see something's large, black talons stretch out, quickly grabbing around her. Link watched in horror as a black-scaled wyvern rose up through the air, tanned-red wings outstretched, tail ending in four golden prongs similar to the ancient weapon of old known as the "Hookshot". It had a pair of horns upon the side of its head vaguely shaped like wings, and a gold emblem of some kind on the front of its muzzle.

Desperately Zelda tried to struggle to get free, but she soon saw that she was hundreds, THOUSANDS of feet above land. And to make things worse, she'd been up all night, riding a wave of sugary baked goods to keep her awake. She hadn't the strength to resist...

The wyvern let out a loud, howling cry before rising up, headed for the top of Death Mountain, as the rays of the sun began to slowly stretch out, a new dawn rising.

_"No."_ Link squeaked out.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER THREE**

"I'm going to regret this." Nick said, sighing as he held up a headband and put it around his head to cover his ears, adjusting his blue vest as he looked himself over in the mirror. "This is going to backfire, I just know it. It always DOES."

Finished, he left the bathroom of the inn, having finished up paying for a night. He'd entered the inn with the same "disguise" he had on now: a headband, sandals (to replace his clearly-out-of-town sneakers) and a veil to cover the space below his nose. He nodded at the innkeeper, bringing his backpack outside of the inn...

Or rather, he was about to when he saw Link was speaking to the shopkeeper who had a branch set up inside of the inn.

"I need arrows. And bombs. IMMEDIATELY." Link insisted.

"But you've not got the money for it, kid." The thick-eyebrowed, thick-chested, big-beer-belly'd shopkeeper insisted. "Furthermore, you ain't even got a quiver for the arrows."

"But...but I need it, I...I was tasked to watch carefully over a woman and she's been-"

Nick quickly lowered the veil. "Link, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost..."

"Zelda...kidnapped..." He panted out, sweat on his brow, hyperventilating. "Need...help..."

Oh dear. Nick could tell Link was clearly scared out of his mind.

"Those taken by the dragons don't go a-comin' back. Weren'tcha WARNED about this stuff, boy?" The shopkeeper asked. "Didn't you and your girlfriend know about them?"

"Well, I've only just started reading this since last night." Link said, holding up his guidebook.

"You don't know much about Hylian CULTURE, do you? Have you even ever seen any Gorons? Or Zora?" Nick wanted to know. "Gerudo? Kokiri?"

Blank stare. Nick sighed. "I'VE got a quiver. I'll pay for all his stuff." He said, slapping down a golden rupee he'd graciously been given from a "friend" in the Lost Woods. The shopkeeper eagerly took the rupee as Nick put his quiver from his backpack down, another "gift" and the shopkeeper filled it with arrows as Link handed the man a-

"That's a Dodongo's Head." Nick remarked.

"It's the largest Bomb Bag they've got." Link said. "I use it for my tests and such."

"That...is a Dodongo's HEAD..." Nick said again as the shopkeeper began to deposit bombs within the bomb bag.

"It holds up to 100. It'll be helpful for what I've got planned." Link said. "We'll storm up Death Mountain and rescue Zelda!"

"THAT...is a DODONGO'S...**HEAAAAAD**."

...

...

...

...soon Link and Nick were trudging up Death Mountain's trail, Link holding onto his sword as Nick held onto the bombs and arrows, having taken his veil off since it was too damn hot to wear going up the mountain.

The plan was they had was relatively simple.

Head up the trail to Death Mountain.

2. Blow away any monster that got in the way.

The dragons clearly were active near the **nighttime**...by **day**, they would sleep. By day...they'd be vulnerable.

They would bring Zelda out of the lair, then close the lair up forever, ensuring no dragons would ever re-emerge from Death Mountain.

"I fear for the fate of the Gorons." Link murmured. "They're either hiding underground, or in the bellies of the beasts..."

"Hey, they're tougher than they look." Nick insisted as they walked past several dozen recently-killed Tektites. "And so are YOU." Nick added, looking back at the corpses that were slowly dissolving into black dust.

"...well...thank you." Link said nervously.

"...you still think I'm going to end up killing this whole world?" Nick asked. "I didn't HAVE to help you. I'm choosing to do this because it's just the right thing to do." He tapped Link's shoulder and Link turned around after almost jumping a few feet in the air. "Look at me." He asked. "Look in your heart."

Link bit his lip, momentarily sheathing his sword.

"Am I evil?" Nick wanted to know.

"...I don't think you believe you are. And maybe you aren't. But from what Mother and Father said, the Prophecies of the Goddesses have never been wrong. They've always been absolutely true." Link insisted. "You might end up causing the destruction of Hyrule by ACCIDENT for all I know."

"Then it'll be an accident and nobody's fault." Nick reasoned. "How do you know the Prophecies don't come true because people MAKE them come true?"

"Huh?" Link tilted his head to the side.

Nick sighed as he and Link continued to walk up Death Mountain's trail, the sun beginning to set down from the noon sky. They were halfway up the mountain now, but thankfully, there was an entrance coming up in a few hundred feet to the core of the mountain.

"Look, there's an old tale back in my world about a man who had a prophecy told to him that his own son would kill him. To make sure it didn't happen, he passed his freshly born son on to a shepherd and ordered the man to kill him."

"But he did not?"

"No. The shepherd took pity on the kid and raised him as his own son...and many years later, killed his true father in an accident on the road, never knowing that he man he'd slain was his true father. The prophecy came true ONLY because the king acted in the way he did. If he'd treated his son not as a threat, but as a human being, it wouldn't have happened." Nick insisted.

"I see...I suppose it is...POSSIBLE..." Link admitted grudgingly.

"And for all you know, the Goddesses could have been lying about the prophecy regarding me."

"Lying?" Link gave Nick a mystified look. "What's that?"

"...fibbing?" Nick asked. "...stretching the truth?" He went on, one eyebrow raised. "...not telling the truth on purpose?"

A blank stare.

"You've NO idea what lying...wow. I...WOW." Nick shook his head, laughing. "I'm...I'm actually impressed!" He admitted.

"Why would anybody tell something that was not the truth unless they thought their words were true? One can be mistaken, but...this "lying" you speak of, it..." Link scratched his head. "I do not understand it."

"...it's okay. I...I don't really get it either." Nick sighed. "Maybe the Goddesses are mistaken." Nick told Link at last as they reached the entrance. "We ALL make mistakes, don't we?"

There was a THWUMF of hot air, and they suddenly realized that they'd been paying more attention to each other's faces than to what was in front of them. Slowly they turned their heads to see an enormous, vaguely serpentine dragon with a stony mask upon it's face, curled, ram-like horns, and deeply blazing greenish-tinted eyes. It had sharp talons on it's two slightly spindly arms, and a golden-scaled belly with burning fire coming off the back of it's head like a "mane".

Nick gulped inwardly. This thing was absolutely HUGE. The game had not done justice to the size of the Subterranean Lava Dragon...

"Volvagia's BIIIIIG..." Nick murmured, taking a few steps back as Link drew his sword quickly.

"Be careful, human. Stay absolutely still!" Link whispered softly, but firmly, thinking back to the guidebook he'd read. "Lava Dragons are notoriously dangerous. During this season, they'll couple with **anything** that moves!"

Nick blinked a few times. "...couple? Wait...you mean..." He suddenly "got" it" and stuck his tongue out. "_EWWWWWWWW!_" He exclaimed.

"You know, you're quite right." The beast suddenly spoke. "We do all make mistakes. Like you thinking that we wouldn't have a guard up here."

The two of them blinked dumbly. "...it speaks." Nick remarked.

"Witty, aren't you, human?"

"...you can tell."

"You don't SMELL like Hylian."

"...so...you don't mind me being...human?"

"You ALL look the same to us. Let me guess. You're here for that blond-haired girl?" Volvagia asked, smirking a bit. "Well, fine, come this way."

He slunk into the entrance of the cave and Link and Nick looked at each other. "Well?" Link whispered. "You're more versed in this than I am. I know only of the prophecies and of Hylians. Nothing of the realms beyond the fields..."

"This is new to me. But if there's any chance of getting Zelda out alive, then..."

Link did not need telling twice. He headed into the entrance, into the long hallways that led to the center of Death Mountain as Nick followed after.

MEANWHILE!

Erin's ship silently cloaked itself as it followed Samus's own through the dark depths of space. Slowly but surely they were approaching the space colony of K2-L. The colony where Samus was supposed to have been born upon...raised up on until...

Until a space pirate raid destroyed her happy childhood and took her parents away.

Erin had to stop Samus from doing what had created her. Had to stop her from destroying the lives of others. After all, not EVERY young girl could get adopted by bird people and turned into a super-powerful heroine with a gun installed in her arm.

All she had to do was get close enough to Samus's ship. Carefully weaving through the recesses of space, avoiding several other space pirate ships, she aimed her ship's most special weapon: a ray device that would simulate engine trouble.

Flicking a switch, Erin watched in satisfaction as Samus's ship began to shake in place. Had sound carried in space, she was sure she would have heard a loud swear accompany it. The other ships stopped as Erin ducked away to make sure none would accidentally hit her, continuing to be cloaked.

"What's going on?" Ridley inquired, looking annoyed as Samus did a scan of the ship. "Why have we stopped?"

"The damn engines. Ah, this won't take a moment. Ridley, take over the controls, I'll go check in the back. Have the others meet us at K2-L, but-"

"Don't make a move? Right. No need for them to hog all of the fun." Ridley remarked evilly, laughing slightly as Samus headed out the door of the cockpit and moved through the ship. Ridley flicked on the communications channel as Samus moved towards the engine room.

Erin, meanwhile, had parked her ship above Samus's and was lowering herself down towards the trash tube. It opened at both ends, something Samus had installed in the event an enemy took over her ship and she needed some sneaky way back inside. Sneaking in through the trash tube, she was deposited in a room adjoining the engine room, hearing Samus's voice.

"Why does it smell in here?" Samus wondered as her fingers fluttered over the control panel for the engines, running a diagnostic. "If one of the pirates left a "pet" in here..."

Erin armed her blaster and kept moving. She couldn't get too close, but she couldn't get far away enough to miss if Samus tried to bolt either. Luckily Samus wasn't wearing her special armored suit at the moment...

"Freeze!" She called out, finally stepping out from some large tubes that ran from the engine through the ship. Samus's eyes widened, then she turned around, frowning at the sight before her.

"How'd you get on my ship?"

"I'll ask the questions here!" Erin remarked gruffly. She then grinned inwardly. Didn't SHE sound all "Bad Cop"? "For starters, what the **heck **are you doing working for the Space Pirates?"

"I've ALWAYS worked for the Space Pirates." Samus said, giving the girl before her a "are you crazy" look. "Ever since I can remember!"

"They invaded your home. They killed your parents!" Erin argued.

"I'm an orphan. I don't know what you're talking about. I was abandoned on Zebes and left to rot by some couple that couldn't be bothered with the responsibility of having a child!" Samus said, shrugging.

"Wow, they really did a number on you." Erin remarked.

"They?" Samus looked annoyed. "What's all this about?"

"This reality of yours isn't the right one. In the proper reality, you're the SCOURGE of the Space Pirates. You hunted down the Metroids and brought peace and hope to the galaxy, and outdid the Galactic-"

"Woah-woah-woah." Samus raised an eyebrow. "Metroids?...how do you know about the Metroids? NOBODY knows about the Metroids but me and Ridley and Mother Brain..." She murmured.

"Back in the right reality, everyone in the galaxy knows about what you did. You're a hero." Erin told Samus, who looked away slightly, lowering the gun a bit. "Somebody tampered with reality to make you into "Samus Aran, Space Pirate". I want to make things right. I could really use your help."

"Sure." Samus said. "Put 'er there." She said, extending her hand.

...okay, show of hands. How many of you know what happens next?

...

...

...

... "What...the..."

The inside of Death Mountain was lined with long passageways and big halls. There were dozens and dozens of Gorons all around, some sitting at tables and laughing it up as they passed beer mugs around, others rolling down the long passageways to the bottom of the rather dormant Death Mountain's inner core, where several dozen of them were sitting with a group of Lizalfos, reptilian beings who had forms similar to men, walking on two legs with armor upon their bodies that was a mix between a Gladiator's garb and a tribal native.

The Gorons themselves were a splendidly-strong-looking race of rocky-like creatures. Their "beards" and "hair" appeared to be made out of whitish rocks, their bodies different shades of brown, some totally black, others a dark, milky brown, others were simply well-tanned. And the muscles on some of them...

"Hey, watch this." One Goron said, slapping Link on the back so hard he almost fell over. He held up his arm, showing off a tattoo of a Goron woman. "Watch what happens when I flex it."

"...oh...my...GOD." Nick groaned, looking absolutely disgusted as Link nearly vomited on the spot. "That's...incredible. Just...incredible."

"Sorry, didn't introduce myself." The Goron lowered his arm, showing off that he had white markings on his chest that were circular in shape, with a black symbol tattooed on his chest that looked like an upside-down triangle with three smaller triangles hovering off the "top". He was a fairly large Goron, with a thick beard so long and huge it was split up into three sections, and a mane of hair at the top of his head almost as big. "I am Darunia, Tribe Leader of the Gorons."

Nick's eyes went wide. Link nodded respectfully, and Nick immediately began bowing. "Very, VERY nice to meet you sir." He said quickly.

"What's the matter?" Volvagia asked Nick, a slight sneer on his face. "Don't you LIKE girls?"

"With clothes on, please." Nick requested.

"Okay, Co-Ruler of Death Mountain, what's going o-ohhhh." Darunia rubbed his chin. "I know. You're looking for blond girl Argorok just picked from outside, eh? Come this way." Darunia said, leading them down to the bottom region of Death Mountain, past several rooms. One of them had Argorok himself within it, curled up and holding up a scroll, poking it as he angrily looked at some Lizalfos who were standing by some drums and what appeared to be some kind of guitar hooked up to an-

"You have ELECTRICITY here?" Nick asked of Darunia.

"Our great benefactress gave it to us. It's proven very useful in helping us develop our culture." Darunia remarked cheerily.

"And we've begun to discuss this VERY interesting idea." Volvagia added. "We're going to show pictures on a screen for people that will tell a story."

"How...very...strange." Link remarked as Nick tried to contain his surprise at how the GORONS had developed more out of electricity than the Hylians.

"Which one of you has been interfering with the words to the song "Gidbo Lover"?" Argorok snapped.

"Not me."

"Not me."

"Not me."

"Not me."

"...right. Heh-hem. "Gidbo Lover, creature of the dark, dig in tightly, leave your mark. From maiden fair to dirty hussy..."

Argorok waved the scroll in the air. "_Medigoron is a pussy?_"

"HE did it." The others said, pointing at one of the Lizalfos.

"Damn my social conscience!" It admitted.

"I thought the Lizalfos were "monsters"." Nick remarked. "...no offense." He said, looking over at Volvagia.

"They happen to be my children. Well, ALL us dragons." Volvagia remarked as they continued down the pathway. "Due to an INCIDENT..." Volvagia looked briefly and angrily over at one Goron that was carrying a set of drums down a stairway, who blushed nervously under Volvagia's smoldering look. "Our females were slaughtered when we sent them out as delegates to other lands. We were seeking companionship, and..."

"Darmani SAID he was sorry." Darunia mumbled.

"SORRY does not bring my mother back." Volvagia hissed, his fiery mane flaring up. "...but at any rate, Din provided us with a solution that satisfied all parties. She lives HERE when she's not making prophecy deliveries to Castle Town, and provided we of the dragon race with sons and daughters. The Gorons, in exchange for what they did, had to accept us into their home. But it's been beneficial...we've made leaps and strides."

"Uh oh." Darunia remarked, looking at the bottom of Death Mountain, seeing Zelda lying on a nursing ward bed with-

"_Oh, Link. You remembered our anniversary!"_

_"Of course I did. I could never forget."_

_"I feel awful. You gave me this nice necklace and I didn't get you anything."_

_"Not true! You've given me a neck to nibble on..."_

_"Oooh...Link!"_

"_Fingers to nibble on..."  
_

"_Oooh...Link!"_

"_A cheek to nibble on..."_

"_Oooh...Link!"_

"_EARS to-"_

"Have Dimitri for the lips, Glee." One young Goron asked a young Lizalfos that was clearly a girl. With the little nubby teeth and light brown skirt she wore along with a simple necklace of beads, she was an interesting match for the young Goron, who was also wearing the same necklace of beads.

"Don't be GROSS, Goro-Link!" Glee snapped.

A red, small armored lizard not even the size of a dog was on the nursing ward bed with Zelda, nibbling on her ears slightly as she mumbled something unintelligible. This type of dinosaur-esque being was a dodongo, who's stomach linings...and HEADS...were used as bomb bags. Link nervously approached Zelda, tapping her on the shoulder.

"Zelda?...Zelda?"

...

...

...

... "Zelda, I'm sorry you have a Dodongo on your face. But we came to rescue you and we didn't get here in time to keep the Dodongo OFF your face. Now just try and stay calm...and let go of Link's neck."

"PLEASE." Link squeaked out.

"Oh. Sorry." Zelda let go of Link's throat as he gasped several times, holding his throat whilst Zelda pointed at the Dodongo on her face. "Off! PLEASE?"

"Link? Your bomb bag?" Nick asked.

Link held up his big bomb bag and the young Dodongo saw it, letting out a screech as he jumped away and off of Zelda's face, eyes wide with horror as Volvagia stared in shock.

"Is that...DANNY?" Darunia inquired.

"...ohhhh. Yessss." Volvagia sighed sadly. "I recognize that lantern jaw anywhere."

"Danny, nooooo..." the young dodongo sobbed.

Link nervously gulped, putting the bag away as Glee and Goro-Link tried to comfort the young dodongo. "Cheer up, Dimitri...he's in a better place." Glee argued.

"In...in any case, Din will most certainly wish to meet with you." Volvagia informed them, his tail accidentally knocking Nick to the ground. "Oh. Sorry."

"Oh, it's fi-wait." Nick's head shot up as the rest of his body rose up. "DIN?"

"DIN?" Link gasped.

"DIN?" Zelda gaped.

"Somebody call my name?" A sensual, slightly deep voice rang out, with the faintest trace of some kind of accent. They turned to see a woman who could have probably have best been summed up in two words:

Mocha Goddess.

"Oh..." Nick whispered.

"My..." Zelda murmured.

"GODDESS." Link remarked, eyebrows arching up, as he and Zelda fell to their knees.

She raised one hand up slowly as two Gorons stood near her, posing the same as she was, a musical score beginning to rise up from two speakers, one on each side of the three of them. And then...she began to dance, spinning swiftly, her arms and legs moving back and forth to the rhythm as if the song was moving through her as easily as she breathed.

"_**I see your dirty face, hide beind your collar,**_

_**what is done is vain, truth is hard to swallow, **_

_**so you pray to God to justify the way you live a lie,**_

_**live a lie, live a lie!**_

_**And you taaaaake yoooour tiiiime! **_

_**And you dooooo yooooour criiiime!  
**_

_**Well you maaaade yooooour beeeed!  
**_

_**I made miiiiiine!  
**_

_**Because when I! Arrive! I-I bring the fire! Make you come! Alive! I-can-take-you-higher,**_

_**What the saints! Forgot! I-must-now-remind-you, Let it rock, let it rock, let it rock!"**_

She finally spun to a stop and posed, showing off her body and grinning slightly as two small explosions set off behind her, letting her hair fly upwards slightly. She was a slightly dark-skinned woman with red hair tied into a long ponytail flowing down her back. Two thick, "L"-shaped locks of hair jutted out from the top of her head and she wore thick golden hoop bracelets with a maroon/pink dancing outfit and several necklaces were bouncing off her chest as she stepped down a flight of stairs from a no-longer-sealed-off-room.

"Wow." Nick gasped.

"Yeah, that's what we first said when WE saw her." Darunia agreed.

The red-headed Din gestured with her hand. "Up, up you two on the floor! Don't stand on ceremony. I know all about you. And you, Link...I've been waiting for you for some time." She said, looking over at him. "You thought advancing the call of the Diggers was your most noble venture, but what you're being called to do TRANSCENDS that, sweetie." She laughed.

"...you aren't...worried...about me?" Nick asked, taking off the headband and showing off his lack of pointed ears.

Darunia blinked a few times. The children gaped. Zelda bit her lip. Link sighed. Volvagia, who knew that Nick had not been a Hylian, simply shrugged as best he could. But Din...

Laughed.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Honey, we write those prophecies every week and drop them off in the Temple of Time at Castle Town. But THAT one prophecy about you? Real fuzzy. For all we know you could end up "destroying" the world by actually changing an established social order or something. You're not a threat to us."

"Oh." Everyone remarked, blinking a few times.

"Seeeee?" Nick laughed, jabbing Link in the side. "I'm just surprised you're here in Death-wait." He blinked. "...Volvagia said...you've been..." He gaped. "...oh...OHHHH...**EWWWWW**!" He exclaimed, taking a few steps away. **"Gross!"** He moaned.

"Hey, I'm a deity. We're compatible with **anyone**. Don't judge me." Din snapped, eyes glittering like fresh coals. "We CREATED all of the land you see around you. Don't you know how the Legend goes?"

Din snapped her fingers and a burning fire appeared some distance away, spreading out and forming into a bonfire. People crowded around, sitting down as small, burning figures began to rise up from the fire. Darunia cleared his voice and began to narrate.

"Before time began, before spirits and life existed, Three golden goddesses descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule... Din, the Goddess of Power... "

"Me." Din remarked as one figure in the fire twirled around and struck a pose.

"Nayru, the Goddess of Wisdom..."

"My stuck-up sister." Din muttered as another held her hand to one chest and began to pretend that she was singing.

"And Farore, the Goddess of Courage..."

"Ahh, good ol' Farore." Din said wistfully as another figure from the flames did a curtsy, and then cheerily waved.

"Din... With her strong flaming arms, she cultivated the land and created the red earth. Nayru... Poured her wisdom onto the earth and gave the spirit of law to the world. Farore...with her rich soul, produced all life forms who would uphold the law." Darunia finished.

"Spirit of law?" Nick inquired.

"Morality, of course. A conscience is a moral gift. WE don't get to..." She trailed off. "...we aren't supposed to care. We're just supposed to make sure you all don't KILL each other and that's pretty much it, but that's so BORING. So we set up shop in different places of Hyrule! Now..."

The red-haired goddess clapped her hands, turning to one certain swordsman. "Link! You've got skills lying dormant in you. And for good reason...have you been having...dreams?" Din asked.

Link nodded. "Yes, I have. Why?"

"A **sign**, cutie." She told him cheerfully, taking his cheek and pinching it. "Your subconscious mind is screaming for action. Your very soul is destined to go out and right wrongs across the realms. But you can't do that with what little you have right now. Not that your sword isn't nice, but it won't cut it in the grand scheme." Din went on. "We need to get you trained." She remarked.

"...trained?" Link asked.

"TRAINED." Din said, grinning broadly.

...

...

...

...Link stood in the center of a large, circular stony wrestling ring of sorts whilst others watched from seats far off in the distance. Nick was sitting with Zelda and the two leaders of the races of Death Mountain were on either side of them. Nick, unfortunately, was sweating like a yak due to him sitting near the burning-hot Volvagia.

"You REEK." She muttered over at Nick.

"Well _excuuuuuuse_-" Nick began before she quickly whacked him in the face, shutting him up.

Din was standing across from Link, hands on her hips. "How good are you with that sword?"

"I'm...fairly skilled with a sword."

"Just "fairly skilled"?" Din mused. "Ah, we'll see. Here's what we're gonna do. I wanna see your slashing skills. I'm going to toss fireballs atcha. Low level, of course, won't do much but a light singe, and we've got healing potions to patch you up if need be. All YOU gotta do? Hit them back at yours truly." Din went on, putting one hand on her chest as she suggestively raised an eyebrow.

"Er...I...um..." Link began.

"You what?"

"...I'm not...a gentleman's not supposed to strike a lady." Link nervously remarked.

"Ain't you heard? Chivalry is DEAD." Din laughed, holding one hand up and launching a small, baseball-shaped fireball in Link's direction. He quickly swung his sword, and the fireball was knocked right back at Din, whacking her in the chest. "OOF! Nice one!" She said, clapping her hands.

"You're-you're not injured, are you?" Link asked nervously, almost stuttering.

"Honey, fire doesn't hurt me." Din remarked cheerily. "Now here we go for real!"

"Ooh, this'll be neat. A battle against the **Burning Goddess of Power, DIN!**" Nick whispered, making Zelda give him a look.

Din launched a series of fireballs at Link, who quickly side-stepped around, waiting for a good one to swing at before finally slicing horizontally with his sword, making one of the fireballs get launched back at Din's cheek. THWOMF!

She laughed happily, twirling around. "Now I'm gonna try a new tactic! Try to dodge, alright?" She called out. "Run for your life!"

She spun around and around as a swirling, burning-hot inferno began to rise around her, two pillars of flame connecting where she lay. She'd turned into an enormous, fiery tornado and now launched at Link, who quickly rolled to the side over and over again, the burning tornado just barely missing. Link could almost FEEL it on his skin...it came so very close...and it was so HOT inside the room...

"Can we switch places, please?" Nick begged Zelda.

"Why not just take off more of your clothes? Isn't that acceptable?" Zelda inquired.

"Why don't YOU just-" Nick began before he stopped himself. "I can't do that. I'm around a LADY, it's not...polite."

"Oh for Din's sake, if you're feeling so hot, I'll just go sit elsewhere!" Volvagia snapped, muttering as he floated off.

Link was now jumping around, avoiding Din's various fireball launches again, carefully timing when he's slash back, launching another fireball at her, but the pace was getting faster and faster, and sweat poured down his brow. It was only a matter of time...someone had to give. Someone had to give. Someone-

"Okay!" Din held her hands up. "Enough! Enough." She said, floating down to the ground, hands on her hips. "You've done a good enough job on enemies off in the distance. But you'll also need to face bad guys who like to get up close and personal." She went on. "Luckily, I have somebody who can help me with this." She whistled, and Volvagia floated over to her, lazily hovering in the air.

"What may I help you with?" Volvagia inquired.

"Link needs some up close battling." Din went on. "Could you, ah...you know." She inquired. "I don't want to risk you really getting hurt, but **I** don't want to be hurt either."

"Oh. Alright." Volvagia carefully reached up to the stony mask on his face, and then-

SCHA-THRIIIP!

"What the-?" Nick exclaimed.

The moment he ripped the mask off, the rest of his body dissolved away into the tiniest of red sparks that swirled around in the air before slowly vanishing. Din calmly held the draconic mask up, showing it off to Link. "When one wears this sort of mask, any damage you take is...well...SHARED. And thus, lessened. It's like I'M taking half of the damage, he's taking the other half. Just try and go easy on me, okay? That's not a sacred blade, but it WILL sting this mortal body quite a bit." She went on, putting on the mask.

And what a change! She winced a few times as her body began to become covered in scales, her fingers blending and thickening, soon she had only three clawed digits, and her feet grew out to end in small, stubby talons. Her clothes vanished, showing off her body completely, and a pair of bright eyes popped out of the "eye" regions of the mask as a ponytail of fire trailed down from the back of her head.

Nick sighed. He had a REAAAALLY corny joke he felt like cracking right now, but he doubted that Zelda would get it. Darn this quasi-medieval setting!

"Ready?" asked **Volcanic Dragoness Din**, holding up one burning, clawed hand. "I'll try and go easy on you." She told him, speaking in a voice that had the faintly fiery undertone of Volvagia and Din's sensual voice blending together into something that sounded like some kind of female genie ready to grant wishes.

"...ready." Link said, twirling his sword.

Din/Volvagia launched herself forward with a fairly sloppy strike, and Link's shield blocked it in time. He forced her backwards, but she quickly responded with a spinning back kick that knocked him to the ground. Laughing a bit, Din/Volvagia held one hand over her mouth as Link suddenly jumped up, striking at her.

THWOOSH! She ducked as the blade whizzed overhead, her fiery ponytail swerving with her body as she leapt backwards to avoid another strike. "Ha-ha!" Din remarked, her tone a bit more growling. Apparently Volvagia was speaking now. "You're truly a proven warrior! I'm really impressed!" The transformed Din/Volvagia said as it spun around to deliver another kick. THIS time Link was ready.

He ducked. He rushed forward, slicing, knocking her off balance, and she hobbled back, smirking before she delivered a flurry of fairly fast strikes at him. Link held his shield up, and the blows ricocheted off over and over as he waited for his chance.

"You ain't gettin' tired, are ya?" Din/Volvagia inquired, unmistakable amusement glittering in her eyes.

And then...

For a brief moment his hand glowed.

**"SHEE-YAAAAAAAH!" **He roared out, spinning around like a hurricane with his sword, as Din/Volvagia was knocked flying through the air. She rubbed her head, blinking in surprise as the others gaped at the sight of the Goddesses getting so soundly knocked down.

"The Kai-Ten-Giri...the Hurricane Spin!" Darunia announced.

"From the prophecies I've read, only the Chosen Hero could have pulled that move off so fluidly..." Zelda said. "It was the Hero of Time's signature move...even daddy in his prime couldn't do it and not pass out...but he's just standing there like it's no big deal!" She told Nick, gesturing at the blond swordsman who was carefully helping the transforming-back Din as Volvagia rubbed his head.

"I don't know how, but I think I got a bit more damage in ME than in you..." He told Din.

"In any case, you're DEFINITELY not "fairly skilled"." Din told Link, who nervously looked down and away. "No. No, you're AMAZING, kid!" She said, clasping his shoulders. "You've got what it takes to unlock all the powers lying dormant in you!"

"Dormant?" Link asked. "I know you said my soul was crying for action..."

"Link...don't you realize it? This was meant to happen, I'm certain." Zelda realized, standing up. "ALL of this. You're not just meant for the Diggers, you're meant for all of Hyrule! You...you're it's champion! You're the one!"

"You're the Hero of Time. The World wants to know..." Nick leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "How's it feel?"

Link blinked a few times, looking at them all. Then his body swayed, and he hit the ground with a THUNKA-THUD, passed out.

"...we're in trouble." Nick mumbled.

...

...

...

..."_Calmly look around you, Link. My body hath long since vanish-ed, but whilst in the "Sages Realm", I can speaketh with thee."_

_"You've grown up! You've become an adult, Link!" _

_It was true. Well-developed muscles...a change in clothes...longer arms and legs, ears and hair...the Master Sword was strapped to his back in a sheathe, and he was now wearing some kind of gauntlet upon his hands..._

"_I am __**Rauru**__. I am one of the Sages that made the path to the Sacred Realm many eons ago."_

_"What on Earth happened to me, sir? When I laid my hands upon the sword, I felt as though I was suddenly being pulled far away..."_

_"My boy, the Master Sword cannot be wielded by one with a heart of evil. And only the "Hero of Time" can pull it from it's pedestal. You would have been the Hero of Time...IN time. But you were too young when you pulled it out. However, rather than actually harm you, the blade sent your spirit into sleep for 7 years..."_

_"SEVEN YEARS?"_

_"During those 7 years, Ganondorf entered the Sacred Realm through the gate that thine opened. He seized the Triforce of Power, and now his evil plagues the lands of Hyrule! Yet there is a way to beat him...break the spell on the temples...and awaken the sages!"_

"...l...in...Li...ink...Link...LINK!"

Link awoke to find himself facing Zelda and the others back at the nursing ward. He rubbed his head, looking at them all.

"I'm sorry for causing you this trouble." He apologized to Darunia. "Passing out when I did, making you all worry-Din! Din, are you sure you're alright?" He asked suddenly, turning to her.

"Really, I'm fine. We both are." Din insisted, as Volvagia nodded. "What were you dreaming about?" She asked.

Well, she got her question answered quickly. She rubbed her chin thoughtfully, and the Goddess turned to Zelda and Nick. "Link is destined to leave Hyrule soon. There are realms connected to our land that are currently tainted with evil...and seeking to spill out into Hyrule. We 3 Goddesses are now taking a much more proactive role in upholding the goodness here, but if the problems continue outside our borders, then eventually..."

"You'll have to fight on home turf. And innocent people could be hurt." Nick reasoned.

"Exactly." Din remarked. "Link can go into the other realms. The Triforce of Courage that rests in his heart allows him to do what is seemingly impossible, to break through the barriers of time and space as easily as YOU did." She laughed, pointing at Nick.

"Well...I...how'd you...?" He asked.

"What? How ELSE would you have gotten here? There's no humans hiding underground or anything. Trust me, I used to be omniscient. I would have known." Din went on, waving her hand dismissively. "You can bring Link along to the worlds connected to Hyrule. You can stop this threat before it starts. But Link can't do it just yet. He's got skill, yes, REAL skill, but he needs...gifts...training..."

Volvagia then turned to Din. "Can you not give him a little something to help him on his way? Can not you and your sisters combine your talents?"

"That's IT!" Din laughed happily. "You can go to Nayru at the Zora's Kingdom and Faore at the Kokiri Tribe and they'll help educate you more in the ways of the warrior! You'll be all "Hero-ified" before you know it!" She then clapped her hands, and a small red spark appeared in the air before Link. "But...as a present to help you out...here."

The spark flew into Link's bomb bag, and it glowed brightly as Darunia nodded in approval. "Ahh, a Blessed Bomb Bag. I've got one myself." He said, holding his up and grinning broadly. "Now you'll NEVER run out of Bombs, brother!" He laughed cheerily, punching Link in the face...

Knocking him out. AGAIN.

"AAA! DARUNIA!" Din snapped.

"Oops."

"_Gorons_." Volvagia mumbled, sighing deeply.

...

...

...

...as Link, Zelda and Nick left Death Mountain, Nick turned to Link. "You sure we eager to believe that you were the Hero of Time."

"It didn't feel like a "lie"." Link told him. "And it makes so much sense. My abilities. My dreams." He smiled over at Nick. "To think, the Goddess Din herself has so much faith in me...to think, I can do so much good."

"You'd be really surprised at what people are capable of." Nick said happily, patting him on the back. "So then...what's the closest stop?"

Zelda got out her map. "The Zora Kingdom is not far from here..." She told them all. "And I speak their language fluently!"

It all seemed simple enough. Link would meet each of the Goddesses. And then, with his abilities fully awakened, he would venture forth into the unknown, returning to Hyrule a champion. And they would help him along on this path.

It all seemed fairly simple.

...But...

...it didn't quite work out that way.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Erin was now tied up in the back of Samus's ship as Ridley continued to fly to K2-L. Erin now had a very visible black eye on her person, which had been from when Samus had knocked her out with a single punch, and Samus was now leaning in a chair across from her.

"Nice try. Good story, too. But you'll need more than that to trick me, kid."

"My name happens to be Erin, Ms. Aran." Erin muttered. "And it's not a story, it's the truth."

"I would REMEMBER something like my people being wiped out." Samus argued.

"I know you'd like to. I can never forget." Erin said softly, and Samus then saw genuine hurt in the red-head's eyes. "My people, the Aroseans, were peaceful. All of us divided each other into sectors across the planet. They lived where they worked, farmed where they worked. Everyone did something different for a week and then they'd switch..."

She smiled wistfully. "I would remember one week my mom Ellis would come home smelling like popcorn because she'd been working at a movie theater for a week in the city. And then...the next week she'd smell like REAL corn, since she'd been working at a farm. And I'd remember laughing at the weeks she'd come home from working at the sea. Always smelling of fish..."

Erin suddenly found tears brimming in her eyes and tried to blink them back as Samus stared, looking...unsettled. Finally she got up and left the room, heading back to the cockpit with Ridley.

"Anything interesting?" He asked.

"She said she was an Arosean." Samus said quietly.

Ridley's eyes widened in shock for a moment, then he shrugged. "Never heard of them." He remarked.

But Samus had seen that momentary shocked, horrified look. It was the look of a kid who's hands had been caught in the cookie jar. Was Ridley truly keeping something from her?

"You alright?" He asked. "You look...bothered. Something up?"

"No, no, I just...I guess I was thinking about the past. I don't know how I would have ended up if the Space Pirates hadn't taken me in." Samus told him softly, her eyes staring out as they continued to pass the stars.

"Well I don't want to know, because you're absolutely amazing." Ridley insisted. "You've been able to do so much for us. I can't imagine any sort of pirate life without you." He laughed. "Cheer up. We'll have a good time making things explode on K2-L and you'll be smiling and chipper all over again."

...

...

...

...Link, Zelda and Nick were making their way towards the kingdom that was Zora's Domain, home of the aquatic people known as the Zora. Zelda apparently spoke fluent Zoran. A fact she enjoyed holding over their heads, giggling out little phrases.

"Okay, so let's go over this again." She told them as they stood atop a hill, another hill located before them, separated by a flowing river. Beyond that hill lay a flowing river by a large forest, and beyond that forest on the river's path...Zora's Domain. "Who reigns over the Zora?"

"King Zora and Queen Rutela." Link recited from memory. She'd been quizzing them on Zora culture and history.

"And what's their primary export?"

"Fish."

"Their primary import?"

"Fat white tourists like Hawaii?" Nick wisecracked.

Zelda and Link gave him strange looks and he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, his laughter dying off as he frowned inwardly. _Dang it! What's the point of being witty if nobody in this medieval setting gets my friggin' JOKES?_

"Wood." Link spoke up, answering Zelda's question.

"Right! And who is their patron god?"

"Nayru."

Zelda shook her head, giggling. "Tuma mūrkha lōga! No, no, Lord Jabu-Jabu. I said GOD, not GODDESS." She laughed as they jumped over the hill, heading through the forest as light flickered in through the canopy.

Nick began humming to himself. Soon that humming got louder. And then it finally turned into full-fledged singing as he twirled around, skipping down the forest path he, Zelda and Link were walking down._** "So she said "what's the problem, baby?". What's the problem, I don't know, well, maybe I'm in love!"**_

Zelda and Link nervously stiffened, looking to their right and left respectively as Nick happily walked down the path, singing and skipping along. _**"Think about, every time I think about it, can't stop thinkin' 'bout her!"**_

As Nick moved far ahead of them, Zelda laughed a little. "He's so silly." She said. "...uh...Link?" She asked quietly.

"Yes?" Link responded, feeling concerned. Zelda had a look of worry on her features. "What's wrong?"

"...I've...not been honest with you." She admitted quietly. "...I told you my name. Where I came from. But I did not tell you everything." She took a deep breath, nervously wringing her hands as they continued to walk down the forest path, the singing fading off into the distance. A familiar feeling of warmth filled her as she continued. "The truth is, I am...a princess. Princess Zelda of the Royal Family of Hyrule. My father sent me to the Diggers to investigate your cause."

Link's eyes widened slightly, and he immediately bowed down, taking her hand and kissing it. "Your majesty." He said solemnly. "I pledge my sword to you, then." He told her. "My father's father was once a castle guard, he taught us to respect the royal line."

"Don't stand on ceremony, please. There's something more important I need to ask you." She said, shaking her head as Link nervously stood up, feeling somewhat...inadequate.

"...and...that is?" He nervously inquired.

"I know you've been having dreams. And so have I." She admitted. "Dreams involving...you. I want to know...the dreams you've been having..."

"They belong to the Hero of Time, and I seem to contain that heroic spirit within me." Link admitted. "I only hope I can live up to the expectations."

"...I want to know...it feels like my own spirit..." She held one hand over her chest. "When I started spending time with you, it was like I'd known you all my life. Like...like the spirit of the Zelda of old is within me. I want to know..." She nervously looked down at the ground, then slowly turned her eyes up, blue into blue.

"Link and Zelda...you and I...were we in love?" She asked quietly.

Link's mouth went open slightly. He found himself almost paralyzed but something that had gripped his heart.

He wanted to say something. ANYTHING. Because he'd felt so much like Zelda was someone he well and truly KNEW when he met her...and he felt so comfortable around her.

The ones that had come before them...the ones who lived through them now...

...were they in love?

Unfortunately that question didn't get answered, because Nick's "OH CRAP" echoed through the forest, making Link and Zelda turn their heads quickly to the side. The two raced down the forest path to see what was going on...

There, before their eyes, the forest and the river ended in an ENORMOUS waterfall that was cascading gallons of water down. It was too far up to see what was at the top save for a single lone outcropping of rock that was in the center, barely poking out of the water, but that's not what caught their attention.

What DID catch their attention was the vaguely frog-like amphibian creature with webbed hands and feet that had slightly bronze fins on the side and top of his froggy forehead. It's body was greenish/blue with sharp fangs, and it almost appeared to have catfish-esque whiskers on it's face as it sneered at them.

Nick was currently trapped in a bubble of some kind, floating around in the air nearby, trying to break out from the inside but to no avail. "Careful, guys!" He shouted out through the bubble. "It's a River Zora! They're really annoying, they spit bubbles and...well...THIS happens." He said, gesturing at himself.

The thing sneered at them, licking it's lips. "Maiṁ āja tīna bhōjana mila um'mīda nahīṁ kī thī!" It announced.

"What did it just say?" Link asked, drawing his sword.

"You don't wanna know." Zelda whispered, looking disgusted.

The River Zora lunged forward as Link rushed forth to defend Zelda. It flung a clawed, webbed fist at Link, who blocked it with his shield, quickly slicing with his sword at the thing's stomach. It grazed the beast, unleashing silvery/green blood into the river.

The River Zora grunted slightly in pain, stepping back and taking a deep breath, then expelling a bubble through the air that whizzed right towards Link...

SWOOSH! Who popped it in an instant with his sword. The River Zora felt a sweatdrop go down his cheek as Link held his sword up. "You're going to leave right now." He demanded.

It immediately grinned darkly and then dove into the water, vanishing. Link frowned, holding his sword up and slowly turning around and around, blue eyes peering like a hawk, searching for the reappearance of the River Zora as Zelda hid near a tree, looking around herself.

Unfortunately for Link, Zelda saw it too late...as did he. "Link, behind you!" She screamed as the River Zora launched itself at Link from the water, mouth wide open, ready to tear...

There was a THWIP. A swoosh of an arrow followed by a POP. And then...

SCHTUCK.

"GAAAAAAH!" The river zora's fin now had an arrow sticking out of it and he was thrown off balance, falling into a shallower part of the river as Link quickly raised his sword. The blade struck down, and the river zora's head was cut clean off as Link breathed a little easier, sheathing his sword after letting the blood wash off into the river beneath his feet.

Nick approached him, holding up the bow and arrows he'd brought, nodding firmly. "Next time a villain tries to incapacitate me, they should FRISK me first." He remarked cheerily as Zelda walked over to them, not caring about the water possibly drenching her clothes. Nick saw the look on Link's face as he gazed down at the River Zora. "...you alright?" He asked.

"...that thing, at one point, was a normal Zora." Link said, thinking back to his hand-guide on "Wild Beasts of Hyrule". "And I killed it."

"It was going to eat us." Zelda said, putting her hands on her hips and frowning, giving the head a "HMPH" and kicking it for good measure. "I wouldn't feel THAT bad for it. It could have just stuck to fish."

"Would that have been...**cannibalism**?" Nick wondered.

All three of them looked at each other and then shivered, deciding it was probably not a good idea to focus too much on the topic. "So, the kingdom of the Zora is through here." Zelda said, pointing at the waterfall. "But first..."

She reached down into the water and grabbed ahold of a large enough rock, throwing it with all her might. It...bounced off a wall behind the waterfall.

"It is just as I suspected. There must be a switch opening a doorway to the kingdom." She informed Link and Nick.

"...that rocky outcropping up there." Nick said, pointing upward. "I'll betcha anything that's it!" he insisted, nodding early as they stared up at the solitary outcropping of rock that was in the center of the waterfall, quite some distance above them.

"How to press it though? I would suggest using an arrow with a bow and some rope...that way we could climb up there. Or maybe a bomb with an arrow attached?" Link wondered. "...no, I don't want to risk destroying the switch by accident."

"I'll get it." Nick said, holding up his hand, smiling. "I just ask you guys to...stand back. And don't get frightened or anything."

"...frightened by what?" Zelda asked.

Nick cleared his throat as he positioned himself at the right spot, and then took a deep breath before he bellowed out a song.

_**And I...flyyy-yyyy! I close my eyes and kiss the skyyyy! That's right in front of me!**_

_**And I...tryyyy-yyyy! Just lay back, relax, enjoy the riiide! And I feel free...**_

Before their eyes, he rose up into the air, flying towards the outcropping, a big, happy smile on his face as the wind filled his senses.

_**When I flyyyyy...**_ He continued to sing, pressing down on the outcropping.

THA-BOOOOOOOM.

There was a sound like muffled thunder, and the enormous waterfall suddenly began to part beneath the outcropping, revealing an enormous dark hallway. Nick grinned as he dropped back into the water with a SPLASH, quickly jumping back up, dusting himself and his backpack off. "Well, that was fun, let's get going!" He said, hopping into the hallway, leaving Link and Zelda with their mouths hanging open.

...

...

...

...Linwood grinned as the enormous crowd surrounded him. He stood before a brightly-painted building that was the new sight of a hospital, having helped to pay for it's construction. In fact, all of the landlords within the city had done so. It was an EXCELLENT public relations move.

"I just want to say that I feel this children's hospital will be good not only for our children's health, but for their FUTURES. They will now that their children, and their children's children, will be well cared for here. Indeed, this will benefit the very soul of our little Castle Town." Linwood said with a crowd-pleasing smile, waving at the crowd as they happily cheered.

A huge feast was then begun on the spot as various landlords set up huge tables, carved from pine trees and smelling fresh. People brought in huge casks of ale and wine and EVERYONE was eagerly toasting the charity of Linwood Dragomir, who'd helped make all of this possible, that friendly face they knew so well.

"I must say, you've done a spectacular job." The King of Hyrule, who's name, interestingly, actually WAS Hyrule, told Linwood, clapping his hands at the sight before them all as various landlords brought in plates of food. "Fresh game and fruit and vegetables, fine cheeses, home-made bread...you went all out. You do wonders for our town's morale." He said happily.

"Sir, it's my pleasure. I just like to...give back something every once in a while. I get so much, it's the least I can do. After all, the Goddesses foretold in a prophecy to me that I'd become the rich and powerful man I am, it only felt fair to give some of that wealth and power to the little man." He told the king humbly. "They'd do the same for me!...I hope." He added nervously.

The king laughed a bit. "Oh, Linwood, don't be like that. I want you to cheer up. I've got good news. I've been looking for a...go-to between myself and the citizens. I want somebody who's genuinely in there listening to their concerns every day, and you seem to fit the bill nicely." He told Linwood. "Would you take on my job as liaison?"

Linwood blinked in surprise, then immediately bowed. "My liege, I would be HONORED!" He said.

Nobody noticed the wild, red glint in his eyes.

MEANWHILE...

The inside of the Kingdom of Zora's Domain was an enormous, towering set of caverns with pools located everywhere. There were underwater passageways connecting all of the pools together, as well as walkways made out of various carved fish bones and what appeared to be their guts. The whole place smelled like a giant fish market, so much so it didn't just STING the nostrils, it practically impaled them. And several waterfalls were pooling off from high alcoves into pools below.

So, despite the smell, it really was a pretty place. The waterfalls, the reflection of the sun in the openings of the caverns above, the various carvings on the walls that seemed to depict heroes and heroines of the Zora...it was a nice-looking place. And our heroes would have been able to appreciate it more had they not found themselves quickly surrounded on all sides by aquatic humanoids the moment they'd stepped into the light of the torches all around the caverns.

Being held at spearpoint makes you refocus your priorities a bit.

The Zora people, Nick noticed, reminded him almost of mermaids...albeit with fishy tails going off the back of their heads like hair instead of having tails make up their lower bodies. They had almost translucent, shiny skin that reflected many droplets of water (all of them were fresh from a dip), making them look almost like they were all glowing. The Zora had refined, muscled upper bodies and fairly long fingers, and deep, bluish/black eyes and long noses. Long fins stretched off their arms and their waists, and the aquatic people possessed fins for feet.

Most of the Zora surrounding them were men who were wearing absolutely no pants, only earrings attached to the fins that fell of the sides of their heads like dreadlocks, and various gemstones were embedded in their heads and chest like one would wear a tattoo. The leader of them, however, was a female with a fairly wide-topped head and purplish/blue eyes.

Nick wished they'd put on some clothes, and kept his head down as best he could.

"Tumhēṁ kyā lagatā hai tuma yahām̐ kyā kara rahē hō?" The female Zora snapped angrily, her eyes flashing like dark gemstones. "Āpa hamārī bhūmi para atikramaṇa kara rahē haiṁ! Hamēṁ batā'ō tuma yahām̐ kyā kara rahē haiṁ!"

"Uh...what's she saying?" Link whispered nervously at Zelda.

"Hama dōsta haiṁ, mahōdayā." Zelda said, bowing deeply. "Hama kēvala pyārī dēvī kē sātha bāta karanā cāhatē haiṁ."

The female let out a barking laugh. "HA! Mujhē ḍara laga rahā hai ki sambhava nahīṁ hai." She turned to the other Zoras, looking amused. "Unhēṁ jēla kē li'ē lē ā'ō. Āja rāta, hama ēka adbhuta bhōja hōgā."

Zelda's eyes went wide as Nick gaped. "You're gonna EAT us?" He exclaimed. "That's cannibalism!"

The female Zora gave him a nasty look. *No, it would be cannibalism if you were another Zora, human.*

"You can tell I'm human? And not just Hylian?"

*We don't really care that much about what you call yourselves, you all smell the same to us. Meat and horses and forests and metal. Though...* She sniffed the air, then sniffed close to Nick, making him cringe a bit. *I smell...vanilla on you. Odd.* She remarked. Zelda understood this and gave Nick a "What" expression.

"...uh...is it cannibalism for you to eat fish?" Nick inquired.

*No, fish don't have sentience.* She remarked.

"Well WE do! We're human beings, just like you!...technically..." He remarked, trailing off a little. "I mean...we don't got GILLS, but still, we're people just like you!"

*We don't have a CHOICE.* The female snapped, putting her hands on her hips as the others looked at each other. *You've no idea the crap I gotta deal with as Captain of the Guard.*

*Oh boy, Ruto's goin' into it again.* *Best just the captain vent, Phil.*

*The only place left to fish has been completely infested. We've no choice but to make do with whatever fresh meat comes into our midst. Otherwise, we starve.* She said coldly.

*Well this explains why none of father's escorts to the merchants ever came back...and why the merchants were always so afraid of doing business with you.* Zelda murmured in the Zora language.

Ruto stiffened. She looked at Zelda. *Father's esco-wait...you couldn't possibly be...* She blinked a few times. *Princess Zelda of Hyrule? The last escort wouldn't shut up about how beautiful you were...* She went on, looking her over.

*You know, you're really pretty.* Zelda said.

*Really?* Ruto's eyes widened and she blushed. "Aww, thanks, you're pretty too! Really good-looking."

*You think so?* Zelda remarked nervously, twirling one lock of hair.

*Yeah, your hair really GLOWS in the sunlight.* Ruto told Zelda, laughing a bit.

"I THINK monsters have infested their fishing holes." Nick whispered over to Link as the girls began to talk rapidly in Zora at such a fast speed that it appeared as though they were literally communicating at the speed of thought. Not even a bullet was faster than those two's mouths. "You know...if we got rid of them..."

"You can understand and speak their language?" Link inquired of Nick.

"Yes." Nick said. "Thanks to this. Here, you put it on." He said, taking off his necklace and putting it around Link.

In an instant, a thousand voices filled Link's head, all speaking different languages, different tones, different accents...but he understood every word. He smiled a little and spoke up in perfect Zora.

*Perhaps..." He said nervously. "We could assist you in ridding your fishing areas of monsters?* He inquired of Ruto.

*In exchange for being allowed to live?* She mused.

*Even if you weren't threatening us I would do it for you anyhow. My father taught me that I had to *always treat a lady right*.*

*And here I thought chivalry was dead.* Ruto remarked, rubbing her chin. *I'm surprised you can speak our language. You guys are something else, alright. Tell ya what!* She laughed, clasping Link on the shoulder. *You'll get your chance. Let me show ya to our fishing grounds...*

...

...

...

... "Ohhhhh craaaaaaap." Nick squeaked out.

The fishing grounds were a large area that was down a long hallway about 200 feet from the main cavern and heading directly north. There were various stepping-stone-like structures leading up to stony platforms one could fish upon, and some small caverns littered at the bottom of the enormous watery pool of the fishing ground. But that wasn't what drew his attention. Or Link's. Or Zelda's.

No, what drew their attention were the monsters that lumbered around at the only entrance to the fishing grounds some 100 yards away. They were clearly illuminated by the torches on the walls...all too easy to see...and all too familiar to Nick.

_Freakin' ReDeads. _

These things were horrifying to behold. Their entire bodies were the color of flesh gone rotten after many, many weeks. Their veins were clearly visibly, shimmering around their bodies like a sickening kind of weed that was seeking to cover everything. Their forms were skeletal, no meat remained, only taut flesh stretched over bones, and curled, claw-esque hands...

And the heads. The HEADS. There was no warmth in those faces. Only jaws grinning in a horrifying mockery of a smile...sunken-in nostrils and ears...and worst of all, eyes that were nothing but emptiness, seeking to pull in anything they looked upon.

Some were lying in fetal positions, but the others were just walking around, letting out loud, groaning sounds of slow suffering. The Zora's all quivered in fear behind Ruto as she folded her arms and spoke quietly, but urgently. *We tried to use arrows. Spears. Bombs. Anything so we didn't have to get close. But these things just...shrug them off. It's like they're weeds that have grown back more powerful and stronger than the ones that came before. Stinkin' undead freaks.* She mumbled.

*Nayru...has she tried to stop these things?* Zelda whispered.

*She and our King, my father, have been stuck in her room researching techniques on how to beat these things, looking for any information she can. These don't seem to be ordinary ReDead...normal methods won't work. Not even BURNING them worked...* Ruto mumbled. *She's been in her room for three days, hoping to find some kind of spell that will send them away.*

*You are a princess? Milady.* Link said, getting onto one knee and bowing deeply as Ruto visibly blushed.

*You are QUITE the charmer...and CUTE too. Your boyfriend's a good catch.* She whispered to Zelda, who very, VERY deeply blushed. *Don't let him get away.*

Nick was shivering madly, panting a little. He could hear his heart pumping at a million miles an hour, going all the faster now that he was so close to one of the most horrifying deaths he could have ever imagined. These things scared him so much. Those faces...and those screams. Those petrifying screams that were all too human had frozen him to the floor as a child playing the Nintendo 64...

"Are you alright?" Link asked gently, turning to look at Nick, seeing the youth's obvious fear. "What's wrong?"

"These things, they really...I mean, REALLY scare me." He insisted, stepping back a few feet in fear. "I...I just..." He murmured.

"I can understand what you're feeling." Link said, placing one gloved hand upon his shoulder and giving him a kindly look. "But it's alright, really." He told him. "Being courageous isn't being unafraid, it's admitting you're afraid, and facing what you fear." He explained.

Nick looked at the ReDeads, then at Link and Zelda and the Zora. He bit his lip. He was frightened, true, but...this was something he COULD help with. He had powers, didn't he?

"You have powers, don't you?" Zelda asked him, raising an eyebrow up. "Is that a common trait of all humans?"

"No, it's not "common" where I come from, but I do have an ability. It's a power that revolves around Music." Nick said, placing a hand on his chest. "I sing, things happen. Like I fly or fire forms or people become strong or...wait..." Nick turned to Link. "Link, I remember something about the ReDeads. You were reading that hand-guide on them. They used to be living people, right? What did they do for a living?"

"I see, you want to appeal to whatever humanity is left within them?" Link mused. "Well from what I remember..." He scratched his head, pulling out the hand-guide and looking the entry for "ReDeads" over.

"Here we go! There's an old legend that the ReDeads were once a large traveling troupe of performers when they were alive. They sang and danced and played wonderful songs. Apparently..." He looked at the next part of the entry. "They were captured by the Garo during the Ikana Valley War, and were slaughtered when the Garo found out that they were playing songs to keep the prisoner's spirits up."

Nick shuddered. "Eeeechh." He remarked. "...but..."

An idea had formed. "Everyone, stand back. I've got an idea." He said, taking a deep breath as Link handed him back his necklace.

*He's out of his stinkin' mind.* Ruto announced.

*We will see.* Zelda said calmly.

Nick closed his eyes, walking forward even as he could hear the ReDeads slowly rising up, moaning more loudly. Finally his feet reached the edge of the water, one food plunging in. He stepped backwards, hearing the ReDead advance, knowing they were eager to have him open his eyes, eager to drink in his fear before they pounced on him and-

He snapped his fingers, spinning around and the ReDead stopped in place, looking confused as Nick suddenly began to move his body fluidly in a dance, two arms held out before he spun, reaching down, then shooting back up, shimmying around, clapping his hands and stomping his feet occasionally.

"What the..." Link gaped.

*Well I'll be darned.* Ruto remarked as the ReDeads began to dance along with Nick, shimmying along the ground, spinning around and stomping on the ground to the rhythm.

_**Cuz this is thrilleeeeeer, thriller night!  
And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike!  
You know it's thrilleeeeeer, thriller night!  
You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight! **_Nick sang out, moving his body back and forth almost hypnotically.

Link began to tap his foot, moving his shoulders back and forth to the music that was now filling all their ears as Zelda chuckled slightly and Ruto rubbed the back of her neck. *You guys are just plain damn WEIRD.* She exclaimed.

_**Yeah this is thrilleeeeer, thriller night!  
'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try  
Thrilleeeeer, thriller night!  
So let me hold you tight and share a  
Killer, diller, chiller, thriller here tonight!  
**_

The ReDeads continued to move along with Nick as they shimmied around, forming a circle with Nick in the center, their "leader".

_**'Cuz this is THRILLEEEEER! Thriller night!  
Girl, I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try!  
THRILLEEEEER! Thriller night!  
So let me hold you tight and share a killer, thriller, OW!**_

Nick spread his arms out, pointing upward, head raised proudly with his eyes closed and one leg held up slightly. The ReDeads all froze in place, and then, letting out long, happy sighs, slowly faded into the ground, dissipating away as Nick dusted himself off, seeing the others approach tentatively, as if afraid the things would pop back out of the ground.

"What just...happened?" Zelda wanted to know.

"They needed one last performance, that was all." Nick said. "You know. Go out with a bang."

*You are somethin' else.* Ruto remarked, laughing. *Now then...* She rubbed her hands together, licking her lips. *I haven't had Reekfish in AGES! Let's all get to work, boys!*

...

...

...

...Erin Nightshade frowned darkly as she looked out the window at the colony of K2-L. They'd landed in a forest clearing and the Space Pirate ships were touching down all around. The cries and screams of the dying and heavily wounded filled the air as Ridley cackled, stepping out from a ramp onto the ground, smiling at some troops that had assembled before him and Samus.

"Take as much time as you like." He remarked darkly. "Kill and have fun! We can collect the spoils slowly later." He informed them all, spreading his arms wide. "Yes, we can take all the time in the world, eh boys?"

A loud cheer filled the air as the Space Pirates raced off to go attack the humans in their homes. Erin felt bile rising as she floundered around in her chair, hopping like mad in a circle. She had to get OUT! People were going to die if she didn't!

"Don't let any of them get the drop on you, okay?" Samus told Ridley with a bit of a smirk.

"I was gonna say the same thing to you." Ridley laughed as he took off into the air on his bat-like wings, soaring away. Samus held up her armored hand, clenching it into a fist and converting it into a buster as she raced off in another direction. Erin was left alone.

And this was a good thing too, because somebody had been "watching" her.

"The coast's clear."

"Alright. Let's get her out of there."

Samus Aran, Space Pirate observed the easy battle of his forces against the humans here. Some of the resisters were actually doing well, which she really admired, but the rules of the Space Pirates always ensured one thing: victory.

No mercy towards those that resist. No cowardice. Speak freely if you wish…if you're brave enough to, and strong enough to endure the pain that might follow. All in the name of becoming the greatest organization in the universe, to ascend to that level…to be known across the galaxy as the ones who had ascended beyond the level of any species. All for power…power enough to bring God down to Earth, to ascend to His level and-

"Mama? Papa? Where-where are you?" A young, sweet voice called out. Samus turned around and looked at what was speaking…a human child, a girl. She was clutching onto a small furry mammal, and both were obviously scared. The girl looked into Samus's visored eyes with her pretty blue ones, eyes filled with curiosity.

Looking at her, Samus felt...oddly disturbed. A sense of déjà vu was filling her from head to toe, and she almost staggered a little in confusion.

Suddenly one of her men approached her, standing at a salute. And he brought very good news: "Sub Commander Samus, we've captured their bases. We're boarding the transports now."

"Good." Samus said, grinning. She was most pleased. The Afluorite was theirs, she thought. The grunt walked off to help to bring more Alfuorite into one of the many space pirate transportation ships.

"You're Samus?" The girl asked suddenly. "That's...that's funny." She remarked cheerily. "I'm Samus too...three years old..."

Samus turned to face her fully, looking down at her, gazing purposefully.

"Miss…I'm not scared, it'll all be okay…" She spoke, tearing up. "Even though we look different…we're friends, right?" She asked, trying to smile.

Those eyes…pleading, begging for a kind word, desperate for someone to help her.

Samus looked at little one, suddenly feeling pity rise up in her. Poor girl. Her mother and father were probably already dead…she was alone in the world. Poor thing. So small, so innocent…

But she was a leader of the Space Pirates…and she was a witness. A child, true, but a witness nonetheless.

"Mmm. You're so cute..." She thought out loud, speaking softly. "I'm sorry, miss, but..." She shook her head sadly. "That's impossible!" She insisted to herself. "Because..."

Samus held her buster up as burning light collected before it, swirling around to form a plasma orb and blow the girl away. **"You're about to die!"** She hissed.

"KYAAAAH!" The girl screamed in terror, clutching her pet tightly as Samus aimed and-

**"SAMUS!"** A voice called out.

Samus and the little girl's head turned...

Samus's eyes went wide. It couldn't be. She knew this woman.

KNEW this woman.

Meanwhile, Ridley was looking around his private transport ship, grinning toothily. "All according to plan." He mused. "It's as easy as that time before, back when..."

He then frowned. He kept thinking back to that day when...when he'd created his own worst enemy. He knew it was foolish. Samus had changed. Samus was now his most trusted ally, a comrade in arms. They did everything together, he trusted her complete-

...wait.

No, no, it couldn't be, he thought, blinking a few times as he held his head in his claws, sweat drops forming. Was...

...was it possible that?

SCHA-BANG!

He turned his head, eyes widening at the sight before him as a brown-haired, dark-eyed British human and what looked an awful lot like a pink marshmallow with red, stubby feet and pink, stubby arms for appendages raced towards him, riding atop a certain vehicle.

_**"We're goooonna kill you with a forklift! HUZZAH!"**_ Kirby, Star Warrior and Alex Hardie, Briton sang out cheerily.

...

...

...

...Nayru and King Zora were as different in appearance as night and day. The king himself was a rotund, whiskered fish-like being with a large red robe, big lips, and a small, stubby "ponytail" who had gleaming red eyes and looked like it was an effort for him simply to stand UP in the morning.

Nayru, in contrast, had fair skin, with beautiful, serene blue eyes and a flowing blue and teal dress. She had cobalt blue sandals that matched her hair color, and a shining golden necklace and set of armbands. There was a harp strung around her back and a set of reading glasses tucked away in the top of the aquamarine bra she wore beneath the top of her dress. She sat with Link and Zelda and Nick at a dining table as the other Zoras eagerly demonstrated they had even worse table manners than the Diggers, not even using silverware.

"It is an honor to meet Princess Zelda and Link, Hero of Time." Nayru said, her voice seeming slightly authoritative, but also familiar. She reminded Nick of what he always thought a big sister would be like. Then again, she WAS Goddess of Wisdom and of Time, she was probably like EVERYBODY'S big sister. She sounded knowledgeable, and yet had a very beautiful voice to match her face. "And to you, good human, I say "hello"." She added, smiling at Nick.

"We're not just here to socialize, unfortunately." Zelda spoke up. "We need your assistance in training Link. There's evil lurking on the outskirts of Hyrule's realm, and he needs to go through to other worlds to beat it back before it can infect this land."

"I'd be very happy to offer my assistance!" Nayru insisted, nodding eagerly as she pulled out a book from a book-bag she was carrying, looking through it. "I didn't find any information on how to banish ReDeads, but I DID find summoning spells that should be quite helpful..."

"Summoning spells?" Link remarked, looking confused.

Nayru smiled broadly, putting her glasses on. "I'm going to call upon a Water Spirit to act as a "familiar" and assist me in helping to train you." She told him, looking through the tome she'd pulled out from her book-bag. "No, no...not that one..." She murmured. "...too icy...too BIG...no, that one's too strong...ah. AH." She smiled again. "I've got just the thing." She told Link.

The Zora saw that Nayru was looking at a summoning book and all simultaneously rushed away from the table as Nick, Zelda and Link watched Nayru hold one hand up, clenching it into a fist, reciting some strange kind of chant...

Suddenly the water from the pools around them in the dining region flowed out in steady streams through the air, combining into a powerful, vaguely serpentine form that swirled around and around Nayru as Nayru put her hands on her hips, beaming.

"But before I get started with the familiar...let me test your skills. Come at me." She ordered Link as Zelda and Nick stepped away and Link drew his sword and shield. "Come at the **Wizened Water Goddess, Nayru** with all you've got!"


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

Link held his sword and shield up high, taking up a defensive position. Nayru looked him over, her blue eyes twinkling like sun off the sea. "You don't wish to strike first?" She inquired.

"I am still quite nervous over the idea of fighting with a lady, and especially one of the Goddesses." Link informed her.

"I understand, you're trying to be chivalric. But I am giving you permission, as your Goddess, to "unload" upon me, as the rough vernacular says."

"Huh?" Link tilted his head to the side, looking slightly confused, blinking.

"...don't hold back." She said with a sigh and a shake of her head.

Link nodded and looked at the scene. The water swirling around her was most likely some kind of defense, but he had no idea exactly what it could do. This seemed like a trap...

He decided to spring it. If you didn't test something out, you didn't know how dangerous it could be. Hadn't he learned that with his rockets?

He quickly shot forward, deciding right away to use the "Hurricane Spin" technique, his well-built body swirling around as his sword struck through water and-

Was halted in it's place. He was now suspended a few feet in the air, unable to slice through the water or move away as Nayru smiled in a slightly condescending manner. "Coming out with your best move so quickly? I imagine you weren't sure what this defensive aura of water could do."

She flicked one wrist out and the swirling water that was surrounding her like a snake coiling around a tree shot out small tentacles, grabbing ahold of Link's hand. The poor swordsman was then shook around like a baby bottle as Zelda flinched and Nick rubbed the space between his eyes. Poor, poor Link.

Back and forth, back and forth, finally he was tossed through the air, landing with a THUNKA-THUD on the ground, far away from the table Nayru had been standing in front of as Nick turned to Zelda.

"Let's go cower behind something the way the Zora are." Nick suggested, jabbing his thumb backwards at the horde of fish people who were all carefully hiding behind various doors, windowed passageways and torches, King Zora himself clinging to his daughter as he and she stood behind what appeared to be an enormous urn.

Nick and Zelda quickly joined the royal twosome as Link raised his shield up in time to glance off a direct, harsh "punch" from the water, and his eyes glittered slightly. It apparently became hard as rock when attacking or defending. But if he could get her caught off guard, then...

But how to get her caught off guard? Then an idea hit him. The bomb bag. He held his shield up again, blocking another attack as he crouched, making it look as though he was holding the shield up in both hands when, in reality, he was diving into the bag. Nayru smiled over at him. "You really cannot continue to defend forever. I'll just do something like this." She explained.

She held one hand up and clenched it, the water swirling overhead, forming an enormous row of spikes that was suspended in the air, aiming to go right above his head and come down, turning him into Swiss cheese.

But as I said, that was what she had PLANNED. What happened in reality?

Link tossed a bomb through the air and she blinked stupidly behind her glasses. She'd forgotten he had-

THRA-BWOOOOOM!

Nayru was sent flying into the table, the water that had been protecting her whilst simultaneously kicking farm boy ass splattering all over. She gasped, trying to jump back up to her feet, only to see Link was standing right before her, sword held up to go at her throat.

She smiled and nodded, and he stepped back, lowering the sword as she slowly clapped. "Not bad at all. I'm really quite impressed, you did a nice job taking advantage of your own items and my underestimation of you. Now then...if you could step back so I may begin the next part?"

Link nodded and stepped back quite a few feet as Zelda turned to Ruto, seeing the water that had been flowing around Nayru, which HAD been splattered on the ground, now rise back up. *What exactly is that thing she has summoned to aid her?*

*Tis the water spirit "Morpha".* King Zora explained in his deep voice, which sounded rather like somebody was holding a man's head underwater and demanding that he shout very loudly. *It is guardian of our land, and a fearsome one at that...* He shivered. *It lives within the waters and doesn't...like to be disturbed...*

*How do you mean "disturbed"? Aren't you swimming all over the place?* Zelda inquired. *What bothers it?*

*Well, we USED to be swimming in our own toilets until Morpha made it quite clear how infuriating it found-*

Zelda turned a bit green. Nick, who had put the necklace he'd had back on, frowned deeply. _"Yeah, I'd be ticked off at that too."_ He thought. _"Poor thing."_

Nayru clapped her hands as Morpha swirled overhead, finally forming into a definite shape that was more recognizable as something began to form in the "head" that hung down near Nayru's cheek. Within the head hung a red, eye-like nucleus that pulsed like a heart, a slit, cat-like pupil gazing intently at Link.

"Here I come, Link." Nayru said. "Use what you have wisely. Fight _smart_, not hard." She informed him, holding one finger up, extending her other fingers into a full hand as Morpha's body swirled around the hand, enveloping it, then swallowing up the rest of her form. For a few brief moments, Nayru's body was utterly covered in water, and then...

THWOOSH!

Water splattered everywhere as Nayru stood there, now transformed. Her entire body appeared to be made out of water now, her dress having now transformed into what appeared to be a strange red fishnet that pulsed with a dozen veins. Her eyes had become a brilliantly bright shade of blue, and she grinned, showing off sharp fangs and long, pointed nails.

"Lookit that." Nick whispered. "Now she is the **Amoeba-Armored Goddess, Nayru**."

"How do you do that?" Zelda asked.

"Do what?"

"Speak in all Bold like that."

"It's a gift."

Nayru, grinning with pride, rushed forward at Link, slicing outward...her nails stretching out.

Luckily Link was quick, somersaulting backwards, then rushing forward, slicing at her neck, aiming to end it quickly, but the sword harmlessly passed through the neck as Nayru grinned slightly.

Nick sniggered. "Nice job, HERO"." Zelda immediately tossed HIM a look, frowning darkly.

Nayru's arms stretched out, two watery fists slamming into Link and knocking the wind out of him, and he fell to the ground with a THA-THWUMP. Nayru slashed the ground with her elongated arms, trying to beat Link into the ground, but Link quickly rolled away, his hand diving into his bomb bag as he tossed a bomb through the air, Nick getting an idea as he pulled something up and aimed.

Naryu batted it to the side and it fell into a nearby pool with a SPLOOSH as Link sweatdropped. Nayru shook her head. "You shall have to do much better than-"

THA-TWISH!

THWOOSH-THLUCK!

The dress that had been covering Nayru flew off her, cut off from behind by a quick and powerful arrow shot as Nick lowered the bow, looking right at Link. "Link, hit that dress, it's the weak spot!" He called out.

Link jumped up through the air, holding the sword down, and with a THWULK impaled the red dress. There was a loud, enormous wailing screech as the dress quivered and Nayru fell to the ground, panting, returning back to normal as the water sloughed off, sliding over to the red dress as Link removed the sword. Morpha was now a small, bouncing little red eye surrounded by a small water bubble, and it hopped back to Nayru's side.

"I think that was rather...dishonest." Link nervously spoke up, looking at Nick, then at Nayru.

"Hey she DID say you could "use what you have". And you have us...your friends." Nick said, holding one hand over his heart.

*That is SO corny.* Ruto remarked, rolling her eyes. "So cheesy, so cliché-"

"**Most **clichés and stereotypes revolve around a grain of truth." Nayru informed them, dusting herself off as little Morpha hopped onto her shoulder, sitting there like an owl. She smiled and patted Link on the shoulder. "Very well done indeed. Remember, don't be afraid to use the environment around you to your advantage...or those that fight with you. Now..."

She rubbed her chin. "I think Farore, the youngest of us all, would very much like to meet you. She's quite the people person. But first thing's first." She clapped her hands. "Everyone, meet in the dining hall. Tonight I'm going to be reading "The Tale of Grasscutter"."

As the Zora all shuffled out of the room, Link beamed, looking eagerly at Nayru. "Grasscutter? Oh, I used to LOVE that fairy tale!"

"Grasscutter?" Zelda and Link both asked, looks of clear confusion on their faces.

"Grasscutter, the Blade of the Winds. It's an old fairy tale about a warrior from a far land who fights evil with a most unusual sword." Link explained. "It's one of the few books I loved to read over and over...most of the others we had back at the Digger's farm were, well about...raising cattle and the like." He sighed. "Not very...interesting."

"Indeed, I'm the one who taught the Zoras how to read and write, how to appreciate literature and develop mathematics." Nayru said proudly, placing one hand on her chest. "I've been reading them stories at dinner since most of this generation were merely twinkles in their parent's eyes."

"You Goddesses do so much for us." Zelda said, bowing deeply. "We can never thank you enough."

"Your love and concern for us...and for your fellow citizens in Hyrule, this is enough." Nayru insisted. "You will aid in keeping this realm safe from great evil. We couldn't ask for better caretakers of the land. Why do you think we continued to choose your ancestors, why we'll continue to choose your descendants? You've all, I believe the term is, "got the right stuff"." She said, waving her finger in the air.

Link and Zelda nodded, bowing deeply. "We shall meet ou in the dining hall then!" They said, following the Zora as Nick lingered behind.

"Can I ask something, miss?" Nick inquired quietly. "...it might seem a bit...personal..."

"Go ahead."

"...why did you let Ganondorf get ahold of the Triforce of Power?" Nick wanted to know. "He's an absolute monster. And he possesses stolen power from you. Why did you never...I dunno..." He shrugged. "Smite him with a lightning bolt or something?"

"Why would we need to? Link is always there to defeat him whenever he arises." Nayru said. "It is an eternal cycle. Every time Ganondorf rears his foul visage, the noble Hero of Time arises."

"But he didn't ONE time, I remember..." Nick said, frowning. "Time split into two...in one timeline, he DIDN'T appear, and you flooded Hyrule, from what I remember..."

"Well, the thing is, we...er..." Nayru looked nervously at Link. "...um...well..." She sighed. "That time was the exception that proved the rule."

"But did you have to FLOOD Hyrule?" Nick asked.

"We panicked. We are not **perfect**, believe me!" Nayru snapped, sounding very annoyed. "We just use the power we took as best we could to benefit the people of Hyrule." She told him, hands on her hips. She then sighed, holding the space between her eyes, shaking her head "Look, when YOU get to have Godly power you can come back to me and debate this, but since you are not, in fact, a being who has DIRECT control over the reality around you, you've no frame of reference."

Nick blushed. He felt like a little student who'd been humiliated in front of his entire class and rubbed the back of his neck as Nayru walked off to the dining hall.

Then something odd suddenly popped into his head. The way she'd spoken in her irritation.

"_We are not perfect, believe me. We just use the power we took as best we could..."_

Power...they...TOOK?

...took from **WHAT**?

Or from **WHO?**

...

...

...

..._Hatred. Some say that it's a waste of energy. A useless emotion that keeps one from achieving one's ultimate potential. Some say it's a leftover from the days of old when man was young and every meeting was a fight, a survival instinct that is a necessary evil. _

_And for some people...like Linwood Dragomir..._

_It is EVERYTHING._

CRASH!

"If he finds out about the "deal" that was made...if he starts to think things over after he's seen all the evidence..." Linwood hissed, looking at the broken mirror before him as he stood in his bathroom, his fist dripping with blood, mirror shards falling to the ground. "It'll destroy everything I've worked so hard to build up!"

_His obsession over that...that BRAT...it might be unhealthy. But it drives him. _

_At first he was so sure of himself. He had that golden power. He could do anything. He couldn't be touched._

_He learned he was wrong. Yet even so...it wasn't...all bad._

Linwood walked out of the bathroom, sitting down on his bed, holding his head in his hands, taking deep breaths. There was a CHANCE Link would not connect the dots. After all, his personality had to be taken into account. The Hero of Time would NEVER make a deal with the devil, after all...

_Because that brat...he was a constant. A challenge that made life worth living. The continued plotting of his destruction...his constant fights with him...so thrilling. So invigorating..._

_Now...this new twist on the game could be over..._

"I will never, EVER give this up. I'm going to have everything." Linwood whispered. "There's not a man in Hyrule that can stop me from doing whatever I please! And if anybody dares to interfere, I will give them a one-way ticket to the deepest pits of HELL." He muttered coldly, clenching his fists. "That's why I'm going to kill the king tomorrow. When they find the body, and the evidence I'll plant, they'll think a DIGGER did it. One of YOUR kind."

He sneered, looking at the broken mirror in the bathroom across the way, not seeing his own face, but another's...

"I'll kill him just to prove I'M king again. There's not a single thing you can to stop me! You're NOTHING. And I..."

He grinned darkly, his eyes becoming red, his tone becoming so much more darker. "Am back...on...TOP!"

His laughter echoed through the house.

MEANWHILE, IN A GALAXY FAR, FAR AWAY...

Ridley slowly slid down the wall, blood dribbling down from a VERY large forklift-inflicted wound, panting slightly as he gripped his sides, his eyes turned to dark slits.

The pink marshmallow before him, better known as Kirby, the Star Warrior, jumped off the forklift, holding up a hand and jumping into the air, slapping hands with Alex in a very considerably high high-five. Hey, it helps when you can puff up like a balloon.

"We **rock**." Kirby announced.

"What the hell...YOU. I KNOW you. Kirby..." Ridley snarled. "Why are you here? Why aren't you in Dreamland? Weren't you-"

Suddenly Kirby's black eyes became serious, flashing with solemnness and a barely-controlled fury. "There's nothing in my world that I wanted to change, Ridley. I love it just the way it is..." He then smiled and turned to Alex. "Which made Alex's work a lot more easier, right?" He laughed.

Alex leaned back and nodded. "I get a free day outta this, and what better way to spend it than helping out a friend?" he asked as he shot to his feet. The teenager flicked his bangs of hair out of his eyes as the static charged hair clung to him.

Ridley tried to stand back up, but Kirby quickly jumped through the air, knocking him backwards with a harsh kick. "Go! Help Erin! I got tall, purple and ugly here." Kirby insisted.

"You annoying little-!" Ridley screeched out in fury. "I'll eat your bones! I'll chew you up and blow you like the piece of gum you are!"

Alex saluted Kirby with a big smile. "You've got him? Alright, then accept a parting gift." he told his pink friend, before raising a palm. Within seconds a fireball had manifested in his palm. It glowed red and orange, with blue tips, and it was tossed through the air to Kirby, before Alex turned tail. Electricity overcame his body, and he shot off, blurred to the point of all but invisible due to the speed.

Kirby quickly popped the fireball into his mouth, his entire body turning a slightly dark shade of red, a burning-hot crown of flames appearing on his head with a center "gem" to hold the crown up. He snapped his "fingers", a small fireball appearing on the tip of his "hand" as if he'd flicked a lighter.

"C'mooooooon." He said. "I'm gonna turn you into a bonfire. We'll cook s'mores over your big, fat HEAD."

...

...

...

...Nayru had a present for them. A little something special that was said to be an important tool of the Zora.

"I keep it in this old chest here." Nayru said, patting the treasure chest on it's top as Nick stood by Zelda, the two of them behind Link. The blond swordsman walked up to the chest and knelt down by it, as soft light glowed from the dark recesses within...

He reached inside...

And then held a metallic thing above his head, grinning happily, blue eyes twinkling. It looked like a metallic canister with a four-pronged "claw" at the end with a long chain filling the canister...

"You got the Hookshot!" Nick announced, eyes widening.

"Uh...why are you holding that above your head?" Zelda inquired.

12 YEARS AGO:

"Ooooooh! It's a big ol' treasure! A, a sword that...that can cut through a thousand blocks ah steel!" A very young Link announced to himself, having lifted an old end to a pitchfork out of a box of tools.

PRESENT...

"...um...it's...a long story." Link said nervously, turning beet red.

"This Hookshot should come in handy." Nayru insisted. "It's a most ingenious little device. Use it well. Oh, and be sure to tell my little sister that I say "Salutations" to her." She added.

*The Kokiri live in the forest far to the East.* Ruto informed Zelda. *Be aware that the area is...strange. It is possible to get lost for days within those woods...if you wish to find your way to the Goddess, that Hookshot will help you, since they live high up in the trees and...no offense...I doubt you could climb high in THAT thing.* She added, pointing at Zelda's outfit, making the princess blush slightly.

Waving goodbye to the Zora and the Goddess Nayru, our trio of do-gooders headed off for the East, o'er sun-drenched fields of flowers, long, sloping valleys and-

...wait. No, actually, the only thing that was getting drenched was THEM.

"This...SUCKS!" Nick screamed, huddling under a tree with the others, rubbing his arms up and down, shivering. "Why didn't I pack a rain coat? Oh, I hate it when this happens..." He whined.

"It is only a little rain..." Link began.

A lightning bolt crackled across the sky as thunder peals echoed over the fields of Hyrule and Link nervously pulled his collar away from his neck. "Er...okay...quite a LOT of rain." He admitted as the downpour began to increase.

"Ugh. Well, as long as we're stuck here..." Nick sighed and sat down on the ground, turning to Link and Zelda, who also sat down. "We might as well make the most of it. Why don't we get to know each other a little better? What're your families like?" Nick asked the blond Hylians.

"Ah, my father is a good man. Hardy and brave." Link told him proudly, a twinkle in his eye. "Your father must be the one who teaches you right from wrong...though my mother was the one who taught me how to react to each." He added with a small smile. It was cute to see him so proud of his parents. "She is a gentle, wise soul."

"My father is most brave as well, and he was once one of the best swordsmen in all of Hyrule! Yes, my dear father is as gentle in spirit as he is skilled in the art of diplomacy." Zelda added, smiling broadly. Nick had the feeling they were doing the Medieval version of "My dad could beat up your dad".

"And your mom?" Nick asked.

Zelda tried to think of a way to say it. She hesitated for a few moments. "She...I...well..." She mumbled. "...she is not...with us...anymore."

"...oh. Where did she go, pray tell?" Link asked.

"She means DEAD, doofus!" Nick snapped. He then slapped his hand over his mouth. "Oh, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

_Nice goin, DOOFUS. _He thought to himself as Link patted Zelda on the shoulder, the rain continuing to fall.

"It's...it's fine, really. She died four years ago. She was really something." Zelda muttered. "I...I don't know how to describe it, it's like...like..." She clutched at her chest. "It is as though a piece of thine own SOUL is ripped from you when a parent perishes."

"I can't imagine how it must have felt." Link said sympathetically.

"For a while I didn't feel anything. It would...the sorrow, the horrible despair would strike into me whenever I'd come across something that belonged to her, or something that she gave to me..." Zelda looked out at the pouring rain, seeming to look beyond it at something far off in the distance. "I would begin to weep and weep and it would take much time before I could stop..."

"And your father?" Nick asked quietly.

"As king, he could not let the people see his sorrow. But they felt it all the same just by looking at his eyes." Zelda told them softly. "You cannot hide what you hold in your eyes, for what lies there is what lies within your heart."

"He should know he's very lucky to have a daughter like you." Link insisted. "I think that when the time comes you'll be an excellent queen, milady." He said, bowing slightly.

"Yeah, you really seem to know your stuff. I wish I could meet your dad." Nick added.

Meanwhile, the King of Hyrule lay in his bed, a pipe in one hand, a book in the other as he hummed a song. _**"Alas my love, you do me wrong, to spurn me so completely, for I have done to you no wrong, delighting in your companyyyy...Greeeensleeeeves was all my-"**_

"Sir, your tea?" A servant called out, entering the enormous bedroom, going up to the heavily-draped red bed of the king. He bowed, holding aloft a small plate with a cup of tea upon it, and some sugar. The tea smelled a bit more strongly than it ought to have...how odd.

"Thank you. You may leave." The king said kindly. The servant left the room as the king sipped his tea, going back to where he'd left off at the song. "_**...Greeeensleeeeves was all my love-**_"

He then smacked his lips. The tea tasted a bit too much like...some kind of nut. Like...bitter almonds...

Bitter almonds?

"_I'm being murdered."_ He realized in horror, grabbing at his throat, hacking and coughing madly, falling out of bed, fire rising in his throat. He'd been poisoned by the tea. How? That servant boy? One of the cooks? But they had nothing to gain from-

No. It couldn't have been. But...

Suddenly it all became clear to King Hyrule just as the blood began to rise up from his throat, pooling out around his head as his body hit the floor. It was all so horribly clear...

"..._ZELDA..._" He managed to get out before darkness claimed his sight and soul.

...

...

...

...at long last, the rain had cleared, and they had reached the Lost Woods where the Kokiri lived. The forest of the Lost Woods was absolutely HUGE, towering almost to the heavens, thick and leafy trees standing like bastions, protecting what lay within the thick groves. Nick rubbed his chin as they stood in front of the enormous grove of trees at the front of the Lost Woods. "Okay, I've been in here recently, so let me warn you, if you just go right on inside, you'll get lost...or worse."

He stepped forward. "Watch." He said, pushing through the growth to vanish into the dark recesses of the woods. They waited a few minutes, and then...

Nick stepped out of the woods, a large, blue/purple bulb plant monster having his jaws over his head. He reached up and yanked it off, launching it back into the forest and sighing as he took a comb to his head. "That was one of those "or worse" moments." He said with a sigh. "You can't go in willy-nilly, you need a plan...or an inside-man like I have!"

He held up two fingers to his mouth and whistled out a gay little tune. A few moments later, they were rewarded with the sight of a strange little imp-like thing in tattered clothes, a scarecrow-esque hat and eyes that burned like red embers. It sat on a tree branch, waving down at them. "Guys, meet the Skull Kid. One of several, actually...the only difference is THIS one won't tell me his name." He added.

"So what do you call him?" Link asked.

"Mostly "hey you"." Nick laughed. "Hey! You! Can you lead us to the Kokiri? Link and Zelda here need to meet with Farore!"

The Skull Kid's eyes widened. "Farore? The Goddess herself? Well that's a rupee of a different color." He quickly pulled something out from underneath his hat, putting it down on the tree limb he was sitting on. "Here, come on up, then follow the rest of these!" He said, hopping back into the trees.

What he'd put down was an unmistakable bullseye of red and white. Nick turned to Link. "Go ahead. You're the one with the hookshot." He insisted. "Grab hold of Zelda and let's get a move on!"

Link immediately blanched. "Grab...hold? As in...hold onto her?"

"Yeah." Nick said, giving Link a look. "...Zelda, do you mind Link holding onto and carrying you from tree to tree?"

"Er, I...wouldn't...feel right about doing this without your permission..." Link insisted.

"It's perfectly alright." Zelda insisted, curtsying. "I am in the hands of a **gentleman**."

"Well then." Nick touched the watch on his wrist as a song began to play and he was once again hovering into the air. "I'll meet you there, then, shall I?" He asked, heading off into the forest, following the path of bullseyes as Link ever-so-carefully took hold of Zelda, aiming the Hookshot.

THA-SHRIIIIK! The chain shot out and the hooks dug into the bullseye. And with a WOOP, off they went through the air! Link pulled Zelda up into the high canopy of the Lost Woods, and was soon shooting from tree limb to tree limb, the Tarzan to Zelda's Jane...

And they noticed something as they continued to soar through the trees. The path of bullseyes...it was leading towards the faint but very unmistakable sound of...

...music?

Yes, yes it WAS music. As they finally hooked onto a tree in front of an enormous, sudden clearing in the forest, they realized they'd reached the home of the Kokiri, and what they saw made their eyes widen in surprised awe. It was much different from the home of the Gorons...there was no great technology there, nor were there the shimmering pools and ornate carvings of the Zora before their eyes.

What was there instead was something that seemed to be out of a fairytale. Homes made out of wood with tightly-woven grass roofs, and windows of what appeared to be collected pieces of rupees...brightly-painted walls on the homes and beautifully rendered scenes from old folk tales were painted onto the trees around them, and on large trunks that were being used for seats or tables.

There were fields of crops surrounding what appeared to be enormous wooden structures that were dining halls and the like, and circles of stones with people sitting upon the stones, playing musical instruments. Indeed, music filled the air, a thousand choruses, a hundred different flutes and organs and drums all reverberating together in one giant symphony.

The Kokiri themselves were rather short, not much bigger than the average Hylian child. They had fair skin, with bright and curious eyes, all wearing green outfits, shirt, shorts and little pointed caps. They were the most "Elfish" looking of all the Hyrulean races, and many of them were sitting at an enormous tree trunk, playing ocarinas together as they sat around a-

Wait. Could it be?

She was most unusual-looking. Large, poofy hair tied into two "balls" on either side of her head and thick locks of hair hanging over her forehead. A big green dress with frilly blue bands around her wrists, and "leaves" hanging from the bottom of the dress, and brown, tight boots...

And quite possibly the biggest grin they'd ever seen in their life.

"Heyyyyaaaaaa!" She called out, jumping up and down, waving her arm at them as Link and Zelda hopped down from the tree and approached the trunk, the other Kokiri happily waving at them as well. "Howdy do! You're Link and Zelda, right? I'm Farore, Goddess of the Wind and Courage!" She explained cheerily.

Her voice was very spritely and bouncy. Nick, sitting nearby and biting into a fruit, imagined this Goddess was what having a little sister would have been like. Her overt cheerfulness reminded him much like a puppy that kept following you around; annoying, yeah, but in all honesty, you adored the thing.

"Welcome to the land of the Kokiri." She said, gesturing around them all. "Draw up a stump! Grab a stringed thing! Today is our Festival Day. We've got it every week!"

Looking around, Nick found himself grinning broadly. There was a communal sense of happiness and joy to be found in this land. There was something so gosh-darn-HAPPY about everything. The way the sunlight shone off the grass, the brightly-decorated scenes on the trunks, the music soaring into the air...

It made him want to...to...

**BGM: Shiny Happy People, by R.E.M**

"EVERYBODY!" he called out, holding his hands high, spinning around like a flower dancing the breeze as the Kokiri moved their bodies to the rhythm of the song.

_**Meet me in the crooooowwd...  
People...people!  
Throw your love aroooouund...  
Love me...love me!  
Take it into town...  
Happy...happy!**_

Nick jumped up through the air, spinning around as Farore jumped down to meet him. The two clasped hands, then stopped in front of a patch of dirt, gesturing at it as a row of flowers began to grow, forming into a "heart" around them both.

_**Put it in the ground **_

_**where the flooooweeeeers groooow...  
Gold and silver shiiiine!**_

"Come on, Link!" Nick laughed as the other Kokiri began to play their music in tune to the song, people dancing all around, skipping merrily.

_**Shiny happy people holding hands...**_

The two blond Hylian heroes nervously joined in. "Shiny happy people holding..." Link sang out.

"Shiny happy people loving..." Zelda sang.

"Everyone arouuuuund!" They finished up together, nervously blushing at this, looking at each other with slightly red faces.

_**Love them...love them!  
Put it in your hands...  
Take it...take it!  
There's no time to cry...  
Happy...Happy!  
Put it in your heart  
Where tomooooorrooooow shiiiines!  
Gold and silver shiiiine!**_

Farore laughed happily and fell on her rump onto the ground by Nick, the two of them giddily chuckling and giggling as Link and Zelda approached. "You know, you're alright!" She told Nick, nodding eagerly. "I like anybody who can get people singing. Helps that you're so magical, but still..." She smiled broadly. "How about I give you a little something? A gift between friends?"

"We're friends now?" Nick asked, looking a bit nervous.

"Course, silly!" She said, whistling as a Kokiri leapt over a tree stump and happily skipped over to them.

"Heya, guys. Like, how are you?" The girl asked. She had pretty green hair and sparkling eyes, and a fine-looking dress. Link looked her over, blinking. She seemed so...so very familiar. "Hey, do I know you?" She asked Link. "You're like, REALLY familiar 'n stuff."

"I'm Link." Link said.

"Saria." The Kokiri said, taking his hand and eagerly shaking it. "What can I do you for, Farore? Hey, that rhymes!" She laughed.

"Do you have that quiver?" Farore inquired.

Saria pulled something out of her dress, handing it to Nick. It was a slightly large quiver with strange, golden inscriptions twirling all around it. It slightly resembled Japanese katakana...Nick guessed it was ancient Hylian, and judging from what it said...

"The Infinite Arrow Quiver. You're hangin' with the Hero of Time, I think you'll need this." Farore insisted. "And as for that Hero of Time..." She turned to Link. "I've got something I want to show you. A kind of training I think you've not had before..."

She stood up, gesturing to the far end of the village, at a large field of crops by an enormous path that led back into the woods. "This way. You gotta see this to believe it." She insisted, her eyes glittering with eagerness to go inside, like brilliant emeralds.

"See what?" Link asked, seemingly confused as they walked along the path...

Finally stopping at the doors to an enormous stone temple.

"Link...I give you...**The Temple of Time**." Farore said. "This is a Gateway to other worlds...this is where your true adventure begins. And more importantly..."

She pulled something out of her pocket...a small blue ocarina with the symbol of the Triforce etched onto it. "This...is where I teach you how to play the ocarina. Draw up a tree stump, Hylian. You and I have PRACTICE to get to."


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER SIX**

"Uhhh...I don't know about this." Nick said as he looked down at the pipe that was before him. The Kokiri were all sitting around in a circle, with Zelda sitting near Nick, looking amused at Nick's nervousness. He turned the handcarved pipe over, examining the ornate patterns painted onto it. "I...really have to smoke this?" He hesitantly asked the Kokiri.

"I assure you, it's very harmless." Saria insisted, nodding her head. "We use it to help increase our spiritual power and help us commune with the spirit world, allowing us the ability to see beyond the borders of this world!" She said, spreading her arms wide in the air.

"I thought that was why your ears were long." Nick asked, scratching his head.

The Kokiri frowned a bit. "Uh, I believe the phrase is "Ixnay on the ears-nay"." Saria whispered quickly. "It's a sore spot, see."

"Oh, I see. Er...you're sure I won't...y'know..." Nick tilted his head to the side in a "y'know" fashion.

"Oh, please, you should be more considerate of their tribal customs." Zelda insisted. "I'LL do it first, to show you that it's not dangerous, alright?" She asked kindly.

Nick handed the pipe over and Zelda held it up the fire that was in the center of the ring. She inhaled...took in some of the pipe's smoke...

PHOOOOSH. She exhaled a strange, bluish/gold smoke that wafted through the air, forming a small owl of some kind. Nick blinked in surprise as Zelda smiled, then handed the pipe to him. "Harmless." She reasoned.

"...alright." Nick nervously held the pipe to his lips, then inhaled the smoke, letting out a relaxed breath as the smoke-

His eyes widened. He could see, he could SEE. A strange green/white smoke spun through the air as Nick's mouth hung open slightly, looking frightened.

"What's wrong?" Zelda asked.

"...my friend is in deep trouble." Nick told her. "...again."

MEANWHILE, QUITE SOME DISTANCE AWAY...

A white-haired, pink-eyed albino with a surprisingly good skin complexion was tied up to a pole in the center of a large prairie, a mountain range far off in the distance with rolling hills leading up the snow-capped peaks. Pretty though the scenery was, clear though the blue sky was above his head...

He was in deep shit.

He was surrounded on all sides by mammalian, dog-like creatures with what appeared to be tan/cream-colored berets on their heads to match the rest of their bodies. They had brown markings on their arms and legs, and had painted things upon their backs and faces in various colors, the "chief" of these strange dogs wearing a very brightly-painted face, stomach and back with a large ornamental necklace made out of what appeared to be painted stones.

These were Smeargle. He was Michael White. And unfortunately, he was going to be executed by them for intruding on their territory, and for "plotting to steal the hunting grounds of the noble Blacktips".

"Uh, can we please talk about this?" White asked a bit nervously.

"Silence!" Black Sachem, the chief, snapped angrily at him. White was kind of confused as to how he could understand what these Pokémon were saying, but he was more worried about being turned into a stew than something like that.

"You know, I don't cook well. Really." White spoke up.

"I said SILENCE!" Black Sachem snapped. He raised his paws up to address the many Smeargle that were sitting around in front of large tents. "Hear me, brave Blacktip tribe! This paleface has come to steal our hunting grounds, his heart full of hate and tongue forked like a Arbok!"

They all spat on the ground at the mention of the word "Arbok" and White rolled his eyes. It was the saddest thing of all when Racism affected non-humans, wasn't it?

"Let the Great Spirit fill our hearts with courage and strengthen us! I shall now raise the tomahawk and begin the ceremony." Black Sachem called out, hopping on all fours and digging into the ground. But a few minutes later, he blinked stupidly, standing up, pointing down at the area he'd just dug at, then at another spot, then another.

"What is it, great chief?" Another Smeargle inquired.

"Pipe of Peace! I can't remember where I buried the hatchet after we scalped our LAST intruder."

"SCALPED?" White yelled, eyes wide. He then laughed. "You can't find your tomahawk, you can't find your tomahawk!" He sang out, sniggering madly.

"Well, well. You certainly do not have the stomach of a squaw. You laugh and are calm in the face of death." The chief remarked with a sneer. "Luckily, we have a BACKUP tomahawk." He said, as another Smeargle brought out another tomahawk.

"You stinkin' cheater." White muttered, rolling his eyes.

THWOMP! The tomahawk landed just above his head. "Hmm. Missed. Always curves up." The chief remarked. "But the paleface shall die! I have spoken!"

White got an idea as the Smeargle turned around to face the tribe, noticing all eyes were on IT, and not on him. He focused, one finger glowing slightly...

For you see, Michael White was special. His body was comprised of chaos energy, and this meant he had not only a very chaotic nature, but a few neat tricks. A small bolt of chaos energy sparked forth, striking the chief at JUST the right angle...

At an angle that made it look like a Smeargle pup with a small slingshot had caused it.

"Ho-ho! A catapult!" The chief smacked the pup in the cheek. "Do that again, I'll have your scalp!"

"What nerve." Another Smeargle said, picking up the dropped slingshot. "Striking Big Chief Black Sachem. Nasty brat. They shouldn't let the little papooses play with catapults..." He remarked, holding it up in his paws...

As ANOTHER shot hit the chief.

"YOU!" The chief said, turning on the other Smeargle. "You show disrespect to Big Chief Black Sachem!"

"Me?" The smeargle remarked, looking stupidly at the chief.

"Yes, YOU!" The chief snapped, whacking him across the face, knocking him out. This, naturally, got his brother to rush forward.

"Chief! You strike my brother, but Browsing Tauros is innocent! He do no wrong!" The angry Smeargle snarled, baring his fangs.

BAM! Now the CHIEF went down, hitting the ground with a satisfying THUMPA-THWOMP sound that brought a big smile to White's face.

"Browsing Tauros's brother Soaring Pidgeot dared to strike Big Chief Black Sachem! DEATH I say!" Another Smeargle roared out, rushing forward as other Smeargles quickly got up. "Death to Browsing Tauros's brother!"

"Death to cowardly dogs who dare to attack Soaring Pidgeot because he defend his brother, Browsing Tauros, unjustly beaten by Big Chief Black Sachem!" Another Smeargle called out, grabbing a large stick.

Pretty soon the entire tribe was beating the crap out of each other, berets and paint flying, sticks and stones smacking against bodies over and over as White calmly clenched his fist, using his time/space powers. A pinkish glow surrounded the ropes as they aged into dust, and he calmly walked off, whistling as the rest of the tribe continued their fight.

Unfortunately, a few moments later, the chief rubbed his head, returning to the land of the conscious, realizing that White was walking off. He whistled loudly, and the others turned to look at him. "HEY! Can we all agree that the paleface isn't to escape?"

"...uhhhhh..." Theyall said at once. "Yeah?"

"Can we all see...that the paleface...IS escaping?" He snarled, pointing at White, who turned around, blinking a few times.

"Oops." He remarked.

"GET HIM!" The chief roared as they all rushed after White, who quickly ran across the valley, diving into a hole as the tribe surrounded it. "Curses. Little worm...come on, my young braves. Follow your chief!" The chief said as they and the rest of the tribe dove down into the hole.

(Camera pans out to show the outside of the valley. A Butterfly happily flies by, landing on a flower and sipping from it before flying off as peaceful music plays.)

_**Theeeeere's... a summer place...  
Where it may raaaaain or storm...  
Yet I'm saaaaafe and warm...**_

(There's loud yelling, screaming and shouting suddenly heard from underneath the ground as the faint indentation of Smeargles being tossed up through the Earth are seen, their heads making shapes in the grass as war whoops and cries echo through the air.)

_**For withiiiin that summer plaaaaace...  
Your arms reach oooout to me...  
And my heeeaaaaart is free from all caaaare...  
For it knows-**_

"Ha-HA!" The chief laughed darkly, exiting the hole they'd all come in. "Yet again Big Chief Black Sachem proves himself worthy of his title." He told the others as one by one they exited the hole. "After big heap battle in darkness, with help of the Great Spirit, I, Big Chief Black Sachem of the Blacktips, have conquered the paleface. Come, young warriors, drag him from the hole!"

They grabbed ahold of the unconscious form in the tunnel, pulling him out as the chief chuckled. "The pestilential prairie dog shall trouble us no more!"

"Uhoh." Another Smeargle squeaked as they deposited a VERY-badly beaten young Smeagle on the ground.

"That's not the paleface! It is Lame Golduck!" The chief exclaimed in horror. "Oh...SHIT." He swore, kicking the ground.

"Duuuuuude!" Another Smeargle groaned. "Stay in character!"

"Sorry." The chief mumbled as White, now far, far away, grinned broadly, heading up a slope into the mountains.

"Heh, nice try, fellas, but you'll need more than that to-"

He was suddenly aware of the fact that the air had turned chilly, and the albino could feel a presence nearby. He could also feel something else...

"...hmm. I seem to have lost some weight." White commented, now hovering in the air as a vaguely humanoid, almost alien-esque cat with a large purple tail and dark purple eyes held out it's three-digited balled paws, smirking slightly.

"And I seem to have FOUND quite the interesting intruder to this world. The Legendaries shall be most pleased to hear about me catching YOU." Mewtwo the Psychic, number 150 commented darkly.

...

...

...

... "Oh dear." Nick said as he held his head, the visions fading from his sight. White was in trouble. He quickly sat up, turning to Zelda. "We need to find Link and get out of Hyrule. A very dear friend and VERY powerful ally of mine is in a lot of trouble right now. He could be dead by sunrise-er..." He looked at his watch. "SunSET, sorry."

"Well alright, let us go find Link." Zelda said as she turned to Saria. "Where did the goddess take him?"

"The Temple of Time..." Link murmured as he looked at the doors to the temple. "...are you sure we should practice out here? It might be unsafe. The temple is supposed to be sacred according to legends, a place of peace-"

"Relax. Trust me on this." Farore said, wagging a finger in the air. "It'll be fine. Now...hold the ocarina to your lips. I want you to show me if you have any talent. Play a little."

Link nervously held it up to his lips, looking at Farore, who eagerly nodded, then blew into the ocarina. It felt...familiar to him, as if he was kissing the lips of an old girlfriend. So oddly warm...and a sweet, harmonious note lifted out from the ocarina.

"That's the "High C" note." Farore explained. "All ocarina tunes are in the key of "C". Now...try the one right after it."

Link blew into that. "That's "Low C". See?" Farore said calmly.

"And these...others?"

"Right C, Left C and "A", the only note that's not in the key of "C" which is played in Ocarina songs." Farore explained calmly. "Now..." She caught a falling leaf, holding it to her lips as she blew, playing out small little collection of notes, Link listening intently. It sounded powerful, and awe-inspiring, almost like a musical oath. "Did you hear it?"

"Yes." He said, nodding firmly. "I'll, uh, try to repeat it." He put the ocarina to his lips, trying to match the sounds. He flubbed the first time, but then...

"Got it!" Farore laughed happily, repeating the tune, as their songs combined, soaring up into the air as the leaves in the forest whipped around them, the sun poking through the forest canopy above, a beautiful wind going through Link's hair.

"What...what was that?" Link asked, obviously impressed by what had just happened. It was as if all of nature had responded to the song.

"Consider that my gift! It's called the **Waltz of the Goddesses**." Farore cheerily explained. "Whenever you want us to make ourselves plain to you, whenever you wish us to aid you, play that song." She told him cheerily, putting the leaf away as Link put the ocarina away. "Now then...you know what we're going to do now, don'tcha?" She asked.

"You mean you wish to spar with me, thus helping me learn necessary skills I'll need to-" Link began.

"Oh, don't be so STUFFY." Farore laughed, getting into a fighting position as a swirling blast of leaves surrounded her, circling around in a helix formation. "You gotta learn to relax!"

"I apologize, I'm merely trying to conduct myself properly." Link apologized as he pulled out his sword and shield, facing down the **Wind-Wielding Goddess, Farore!**"

"Don't try to be someone else, Link. We don't WANTCHA to be." Farore told him with a big grin, thrusting one arm forward as a large beam of leaves shot out, slamming against his shield and scattering around through the air. She twirled around, jumping through the air, laughing happily as surging zephyrs shot forth from her body at Link.

Naturally, our hero dove to the side over and over, waiting for a good shot at her. Finally managing to get one, he lunged forward, sword held out to-

Unfortunately this didn't go so well. A blast of wind swept him off his feet, knocking him into a tree, making Farore roll her eyes. "Ya GOTTA do better 'n that." She insisted as he slowly slid down it, moaning. She snapped her fingers, more zephyrs shooting forward as Link rolled out of the way, the razor-sharp leaves swinging by him.

It was then that he noticed something...

A pattern. An unmistakable pattern. She'd fire off at him, and the leaves would sweep around to try and strike him, but then they'd u-turn, going back towards Farore, circling around her and then shooting back at HIM! That was it!

Carefully he readied himself, sword held high. Farore launched another wave of leaves at him and he sidestepped, the leaves sweeping by him-

He then sidestepped into the path of the wind, and was yanked forcefully towards the surprised Farore...

SCHA-SLICE! He sliced through the leaves, getting a cut on Farore, who let out an "OUCH", hopping up and down, holding her side. "EEE! That stings!" She admitted, rubbing her side as Link held his sword up in a defensive pose. "Okay, okay, I give!" She told him, holding her hands up as Link saw Nick and Zelda approaching from far off.

"You don't wish to...transform, perhaps?" He asked.

"No, I think you've learned all you can. You don't just need to take advantage of your surroundings or your items for some foes, Link." She informed him cheerily. "And you won't always be able to use your friends...but keep an eye out for repetition. Exploit it in your enemy, know what they can do so you can turn it against them!" She laughed, slamming her fist into her palm.

"That's all very nice, but we need to get going out of this world." Nick said. "The Kokiri informed us that this temple would help?"

"Oh yes." Saria said, nodding eagerly as she opened up the doors. "The Temple of Time is on the boundary of the worlds. It's quite easy to cross over into other realms from here."

As she opened up the doors, they saw why. The inside of the temple was a beautifully pearly white, with enormous red carpets leading towards large staircases. These staircases led up towards an enormous set of double doors made of what appeared to be oak, with gold Ancient Hylian letters inscribed upon it. They translated into "Through Me Lies All Else", but even THAT wasn't nearly as beautiful as the ceiling.

The ceiling itself was an enormous, well-painted mural that would have made Leonardo da Vinci blush, for it detailed all of the Goddesses's exploits...and those of Link, Zelda and Ganondorf. There was a circular logic to the picture...at the top the goddesses were shown creating Hyrule, blowing life into it's creatures and it's lands. Farther down to the left of the roof, one could see the Triforce being split amongst three particular individuals...individuals who were then seen fighting, the Goddesses watching over them as they engaged in pitch combat in the next part of the ceiling.

The final part though was...oddly...blank. It showed whiteness.

"What's with the ceiling not being finished?" Nick asked.

"The story is, as of yet, unwritten." Farore explained as they headed up the staircase towards the double doors. "...oh." She looked up at the Temple of Time's ceiling. "...focus in on that part some distance from Ganondorf's foot." She said, frowning as she lifted a finger up.

They peered up, seeing a scene suddenly shift into sight. It was...Linwood Dragomir. He was...standing by Princess Zelda, a wedding ring in one hand as Zelda had on the crown of a queen!

"Linwood Dragomir? Marrying...ME?" Zelda inquired.

"Who is that man?" Link inquired.

"An old, dear family friend." Zelda said. "He's very close to me and my father, we've known him for years." She explained.

"Wait. Is that the future?" Nick asked suddenly, eyes narrowing.

"The very near future." Farore told them, nodding.

Nick frowned. Something wasn't right. "...why would..."

"No." Zelda whispered suddenly, one hand flying to her mouth, eyes brimming with tears. "_Noooo_..." She sobbed.

"What's wrong?" Link asked, gently holding one shoulder of the sobbing princess.

"My f-father told me to take...take the position of Queen when he died...he...he must have..." Zelda manged to get out before she finally began to break down, crying.

"DRAGOMIR." Nick's eyes widened. There was no way it was coincidence. NO way. "What's Linwood's full name?" Nick asked suddenly, head whipping towards Zelda.

Zelda wiped her eyes, trying to desperately compose herself. "Lin-Linwood Fregaves Dragomir, why would you wish to know that?" She asked, looking upset that Nick would care more about a landlord's name than the death of the king of hyrule.

"And he's...an old friend of the family?" Nick asked.

"Yes, a powerful landlord in Castle Town, and a very popular one. Why?" Zelda inquired.

"...well, let me posit a scenario for you. Suppose that a landlord wanted to gain ahold of the throne of Hyrule. He befriends the king and his only daughter. Maybe comforts the daughter after she's...lost her mom?" Nick asked nervously.

Zelda took in a harsh breath. Link blinked a few times. Could it be?...

"Builds up a reputation around town for being powerful, charismatic...then something AWFUL happens to the King, and Zelda becomes queen. Now, either she wants some help ruling the country because she's not yet fully trained for such a thing, or she NEEDS to marry someone to remain king due to some stupid old-" Nick began.

"That is what **I** said!" Zelda agreed, nodding eagerly. "There IS such a foolish law in Hyrule, to remain queen more than a 100 days, I'd need to marry someone. What happens after is left up to the Goddesses...they foretold my mother would die and that father wouldn't remarry, so..."

"So he never did. Okay, that's not an issue, but you HAVE to marry someone within 100 days to remain queen, and Linwood is a shoo-in...of course..." Nick turned to look at Farore. "He sure wouldn't want anybody EXPLAINING this kind of hypothetical scenario to the people, now would he?" He asked. "Explaining that it might just be possible he killed off the king to gain his power...and not only that...but he's not who he says he is."

"What do you mean?" Link asked.

"You got something to write with?" Nick asked Farore.

Farore took out something from one of the large, ball-esque "afros" she had in her hair, pulling out a piece of chalk. Nick took the chalk, writing on the wall of the temple.

"Isn't this BLASPHEMY?" Link asked of Farore.

"Link, who's the highest religious authority in Hyrule?"

"...you and your sisters..."

"Now, did I say he couldn't write on the walls of the temple of time?"

"...nooooo..."

"Then it isn't blasphemy, is it?" She asked kindly, patting Link on the shoulder as Nick finished writing. Now there were three words on the wall. **"LINWOOD FREGAVES DRAGOMIR."**

"Watch..." Nick said, drawing with the chalk, moving the letters and rearranging them below.

Now they spelled out something that made Link and Zelda gasp in horror.

"**GANONDORF DRAGMIRE LIVES.**"

"He's BACK." Link whispered.

"He's bad." Nick said softly.

"...I'm...going...to...KILL him." Zelda said, furious tears brimming in her eyes. "That murdering-"

"Zelda, no." Farore insisted. "You cannot defeat him alone, I assure you. Even with Nick and Link's help...you will need other warriors." She pointed at the door. "Link and Nick shall go forth to bring back help after restoring order to the realms most closesly connected to this land, and then they'll come back and kick Ganondorf's heinie. But you have to HURRY." She added, turning on them. "Time out there will pass differently than in here. One day out there will be two days here."

"You mean that if we don't get back here in 50 days, tall dark and piggy will marry Zelda and most likely either kill her?" Nick asked nervously.

"Or worse..." Zelda realized, hands flying to her head. "It is the custom for the king to consummate his marriage to his new queen on the first night!"

Link immediately blanched and steadied himself against the wall, a **horrible** visual image springing to his mind as Nick opened up the double doors, revealing an enormous, beautiful white light that shone at the end of a strange, midnight-colored tunnel. "We must away, and make haste, then!" He insisted.

"Farore, thank you." Nick said to her. "I really appreciate all the help you've given us."

"Er...can you keep a secret?" Farore nervously remarked, rubbing the back of her neck. "I feel like...I can't trust you. BUT..." She shrugged. "I do trust Link...and I know you want to help him...I can feel that as well as my distrust, and I'm just going with that second belief. I'm trusting that you'll prove my other feelings wrong...prove to me that we can trust you." She insisted.

Nick nodded firmly. "I will." He promised.

Link held up his sword, saluting the goddess. "I bid you farewell, goddess." He said. "It was an honor!" He said, putting the sword back, then taking her hand and kissing it.

"Heyyy, you're gonna make Zelda blush!" Farore giggled, thus making him AND Zelda blush as Nick smiled, leading Link inside the tunnel, waving goodbye to Zelda.

It was not long before Zelda herself was riding off on a horse she borrowed from the Kokiri straight to Castle Town. As Farore watched her go, sitting on a tree limb, she saw a blue light slowly emerge from the dark recesses of the tree canopy to rest on her shoulder.

"You were very nice to them. I think they like you most of all." She said.

"I hope so." Farore said quietly.

_And I hope you will still like me...even when you find out the truth..._

...

...

...

...Samus's eyes widened as she watched her own mother lift young Samus Aran, age three years old, up into her arms. The world around her began to slowly turn into a multicolor haze, colors blending together into a kind of fog as Erin Nightshade blinked a few times, looking on as Alex Hardie stood near Samus, arms folded.

"...how is this...possible?" She asked as the haze filled their vision, the sounds of Kirby and Ridley's fight echoing through the air.

"You know how. You MADE it possible." Alex told her. "...don't you remember?" He asked.

"I..." Samus blinked a few times. "...I..."

She did.

She DID remember.

_Samus raised her arm cannon up, eyes narrowed. Ridley had to know he couldn't win, she thought to herself as she rushed alongside of the cliff, firing off her missiles at the space dragon, who let out a loud shriek as they assaulted his scaly hide. _

_He HAD to know he couldn't win. He never did. The Space Pirates, Mother Brain, Kraid, Ridley, the Galactic Federation, herself...all locked within a..._

_CRUDDA-THWOOOOOM! His body hit the canyon floor below as Samus panted slightly, slowly descending down a natural stairway to his barely-conscious form._

_Locked within a never-ending cycle. All of them. The only difference was that in this cycle, she, the Federation, they came out the victor almost all the time. But now that she was free of the Federation's grip, an independent agent..._

_She kicked Ridley's head, knocking him away as he snarled, getting back up. All that he remembered these days was the violence. Sometimes he even forgot where Samus had come from and would have to be reminded. Would she turn out the same way? Would that be her life? Just the blood? _

_She was angry._

_"You." She snarled furiously. "You and that stupid Federation!" She snapped as Ridley stood back up, eyes narrowed intently, watching her closely for any sudden moves, keeping his tail poised, though he knew she wouldn't get close enough for her to be stabbed. "You keep this going, all the time. You Space Pirates and Federation idiots fight and who gets stuck in the middle? People like my parents, like my friends..."_

_She pointed her arm cannon at him, charging up for a super missile. "If I could change it...I'd give anything to make sure you couldn't keep this stupid cycle going!" She roared at him._

_"Anything?" Ridley asked suddenly. "...well...ask...and ye shall receive." He said with a sudden deadly grin in his fangs._

_All of a sudden there was a shadow above her...a large, enormous shadow that rippled into sight. Hidden no more, it pointed down at her with it's-_

Samus gasped as the glamour faded away, and she hit the ground on her butt. "...I...I did all that?" She whispered as she found herself sitting in the abandoned ruins of K2-L. There were no more space pirates around...no more fire...no little Samus in the arms of Virginia Aran...just her, a red-head and a Briton. "...how did...I never wanted the cycle to end like THAT, with..." She mumbled.

"No, I don't think you did." Alex said quietly, sadly. "You said it without thinking, you were frustrated, I understand, I DO." He told her, patting her on the shoulder as she stood up.

"...Ridley, where is he?" She wanted to know.

Suddenly there was a sound that caught their ears. A large explosion rocked the building Kirby had been in and now Kirby was standing there on the dirty ground, panting slightly, Ridley's body covered in burns...

With one brown-haired, hazel-eyed teenager and a blond swordsman standing on top of him, looking over at her.

"Alex." Nick said cheerily. "Erin!"

"Uh, who are these people?" Link inquired. "I could not let this beast harm that young thing, but...the man in the suit?"

Nick grinned inwardly. Samus had her suit on at the moment. He didn't know.

"That's Samus Aran." Nick said, getting off of the barely-conscious Ridley as Kirby happily walked over to Link. "And pink and powerful? His name's Kirby."

"Nice to meetcha!" Kirby said, taking Link's hand, shaking it so rapidly he actually hovered in the air for a few moments.

"The gang's all here, huh?" Erin asked eagerly as she and Alex helped Samus up, all of them standing by Nick.

"Not EXACTLY." Nick said, holding a hand up. "I found out that...White's in trouble." He told Alex and Erin, the Arosean's eyes widening.

"Oh no. What happened to him?" She wanted to know, blue eyes filled with concern.

"He's been captured. We need to find a part of this realm that's on the borderlands...a place that can easily access other realms of existence. We can't go back the way we came, it's one-way, unfortunate-"

Samus laughed harshly. "That's funny." She said.

"What?" Link inquired.

"I just was in a reality where I had been Sub-Commander of Space Pirates, cozying up to-to Mother Brain." She said, almost saying another word. "Now I'm in a reality where I have to cozy up to the Galactic Federation." She said, folding her arms.

"What do you mean?" Erin wanted to know. "...oh. Wait." Her eyes widened. "Don't tell me..."

"Their latest scientific breakthrough has been a wormhole generator." Samus finished for her grimly. "...they're our best shot. And they won't even let me within 5 lightyears of them if I don't suck up and pretend like I'm their best friend all over again."

"After they tried to get you blown up for discovering what you did on that space station?" Alex inquired. "...fine, fine, let's get moving." He said. "Where's your ship?"

Samus looked to the far right, past Ridley, giving him a momentary glance. "There." She said, leading them in that direction, Kirby walking right behind her with Link, Erin and Alex just behind...Nick lingering near Ridley, crouching down.

"Hey." He asked.

Ridley gave him a nasty look, half of his face burnt off, one eyeball badly singed, several teeth now in pieces.

"Sorry about the uppercut." Nick added. "...but you fiddled with reality. You screwed with Ms. Aran's head. That's not RIGHT." He said in a slightly childish tone.

Ridley spat on the ground in his direction. "Bug!" He muttered balefully.

"She said she was with the space pirates...cozying up to someone. And it wasn't Mother Brain, was it?" Nick asked sadly.

Meanwhile, Samus activated the ship's tractor beam system. Her ship was to pick Nick up, bringing him inside, and then go autopilot towards Galactic Federation space. Not yet taking off her helmet, Samus headed for the bathroom, looking to the side at a "Wanted" poster stuck up near the mirror of Ridley. Her eyes turned to the side slightly, noticing Erin was right behind her in the doorway.

"I saw a lot of stuff when I was spying on you." Erin told her.

"..."

"...you and Ridley." Erin asked nervously, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You and Samus." Nick wanted to know.

Ridley's mouth became a taut line. Samus bit her lip, holding the wanted poster delicately in one armored hand.

**"...were you in love?"**

Ridley slowly stood up, and then began to lumber off as Samus's ship hovered in the air, going towards Nick. He looked back at Nick as Samus's tractor beam activated over the teenager's head, whilst hazel eyes sympathetically gazed at yellow, and Samus slowly put the wanted poster back, her voice barely a whisper as Ridley croaked out his answer.

"_We were."_


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"This is demeaning." White muttered as he was forced along through the air by Mewtwo, heading up the mountains towards a dark, foreboding cave some distance away with strange, odd symbols littering the top of the cave in dark black.

"It is demeaning that I have to listen to your whining." Mewtwo told him. "I would have preferred to be curling up with a good book, not transporting a prisoner of war."

"War? What WAR?" White asked, looking annoyed.

"Why our war against _how honestly dumb do you believe I am?_" Mewtwo commented with a bit of a sneer. "I am no "Bond Villain". I am not going to give away the plan simply because you ASKED."

"What if I ask nicely and said "pretty please with sugar on top"?" White said, turning his head as best he could. "C'mooooon. Who can resist this face?" He asked, grinning broadly, giving the psychic "Bambi Eyes".

"...nice tryyyyy." Mewtwo said, shaking his head again as they reached the cave. "Heh-hem." He cleared his throat. "We were there before you." He spoke up.

"We will remain after" came the reply from the symbols, who's eyes suddenly flooded open at once, revealing they were actually Unown, the Symbol Pokémon. They promptly formed a new word, and there was a clicking sound from within, a bright light emanating from the end of the tunnel.

Mewtwo forced White through the tunnel again, as the cold air of the tunnel suddenly began to transform into something else...a balmy, pleasant breeze. And soon the dark recesses of the tunnel had become an enormous natural hall within a mountain, with the sweet scent of flowers floating through the air past a large waterfall that emptied it's contents into a sparkling, crystalline lake.

Just beyond that lake, at an enormous, circular stone table were beings of unimaginable power. White recognized them almost instantly...how could he not? Nick's memories lingered in his mind, for he was Nick's diabolical side made flesh...he was the "smart one".

You didn't need to be smart to be afraid of these things...the Legendary Pokémon.

The first one at the table was a tiny little pink cat-like creature with rabbit-esque hind legs who had bright blue eyes. The thing had a fairly long tail, and was sitting not upon a chair, but on a pink bubble, looking eagerly at White. This was Mew, number 151 in the Pokémon Index, and said to be the ancestor of all Pokémon.

Sitting at the top of their chairs, talons digging in, were two enormous birds. One was some kind of mix between a dragon, a plesiosaur and a bird in appearance, with a silver body and hand-like wings with a blue underbelly. It had a beak-like, ridged mouth and it's eyes had pointed blue spikes which gazed at White. The other was a bird with beautiful golden tail feathers, with a golden crest of feathers atop it's head, a red set of wings and a white/red underbelly. These were the Guardians of the Sea and Sky respectively...Lugia and Ho-Oh.

Sitting to the right of them was a sprite-like creature with a white/green body. It had cute little green feet, and a set of antennae that ended in a splash of blue. It's glistening blue eyes had black rings around them, and it had a set of fairy-like wings. This was Celebi, Wanderer of Time.

Sitting at the far end of the table, floating above a small, yellowish thing, were two bird-like dragons. The lower half of their bodies were red and blue respectively, with jet-like wings and stubby little feet. They had triangular ears, and whilst one had a white pentagon on her red-colored head, the other had a white teardrop on his blue-colored head. The red one...Latias. The blue one...Latios. The Eon Pokémon.

The yellow thing below them was wearing a triple-pointed golden headdress which resembled a star. Blinking black eyes gazed out, looking puzzled by White's appearance. On its stomach was a curved seam. Like a...pouch. Odd. It had teal triangles underneath it's eyes, and teal "tags" upon the points of it's headdress. This was Jirachi, the Wish Pokémon.

"Awww, you threw a party just for me? I'm touched." White commented. "But no cake? C'moooon."

"Silence, human!" Mewtwo snapped. "Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you're in?"

"No, unlike you, I can't read minds."

"...okay. THAT one was mildly amusing simply because it is true." Mewtwo said with a hint of pride. "Now then...on your knees." He said, tossing White to the ground.

"...I'll...STAND." White growled, getting to his feet. "I don't kneel. I'm not a DOG, damn you."

"How cute, it thinks it's people." Lugia commented, rolling it's eyes. "Now then...as you all know, we Legendaries have been keeping the peace here in the Pokémon world for ages. We have always responded to it's cries of pain, have provided for it's people, and have defended it from threats without and within. We are it's Guardians, it's Parents, and we have done well for eons and eons...but now...now, is the time for some **proactive**, instead of **reactive**...well...action." Lugia finished.

"Gee, nice finish." White sniggered. "You should have said "now is the time we BECOME proactive instead of reactive" or perhaps "Now we stop the problems before they can start"."

"Listen, you big jerk!" Mew squeaked out, waving a tiny fist at him. "That's...actually, that second one woulda sounded a lot better." The thing said, putting a tiny paw digit to it's lip, blinking.

"Yeah, it would have." Ho-oh told Lugia, who blushed.

"Moving on." Mewtwo said. "Now that we have YOU here, we can proceed with our plan."

"You were waiting for a-ah." White frowned. "Let me guess. You want to try and invade the human world. But you need a reason to do that, so you'll use ME, a superpowered human, as proof that humans are evil and trying to conquer your world? So you'll get US first before we can get you, is that it?" He shook his head. "That won't work. I'm not actually a human."

"You look human enough." Mewtwo said calmly, shrugging. "Not that we really need MUCH of a reason. Most Pokémon feel that humans cannot be trusted." He whistled sharply, and a moment later, a yellow, mouse-like Pokémon with red cheeks and-

Oh for pete's sake. If you don't know who Pikachu is, you've been living under a rock.

"Pikachu, if you would be so kind as to take our guest to Lucario's training grounds to hold him? Mewtwo said as Pikachu held up a pair of handcuffs made of a strange kind of shimmering stone, slapping them onto White's hands.

"Of course." Pikachu said, a strange accent tinting his voice. White tried to break free instantly, to run away, but he collapsed to the ground, gasping.

"What in the? What's this stupid thing made of?" He snapped, turning his head to look back at the handcuffs.

"A special stone that forms from a pearl at the bottom of the sea." Pikachu said proudly as he lifted White clear above his head, moving him through a hallway to the right. "It limits the natural abilities of anybody who comes into skin contact with it. We call it the "Limiter Stone"." Pikachu told him as he approached another doorway with more Unown upon it. "Ah-hem." He cleared his throat.

White's eyes narrowed a bit. He was paying attention to this.

"A noble spirit emboldens the littlest Pokémon." Pikachu spoke to the Unown.

"TRUE." Their eyes flooded open, and the doorway gave way to reveal a large, grassy plains. Still carrying White, Pikachu headed across the plains, singing to itself as it approached what appeared to be a military installation.

"I can't understand a thing you're singing." White told him. "Is that all in Japanese? Slow down."

"Fine." Pikachu harrumphed. _** "Oh the playboy goes to the bathroooooom! Not knowing if he needs to or not!"**_

"What kind of song is THAT?" White asked.

"Make up your mind." Pikachu said, giving him a mild electric shock.

"YEEEOOOOW!"

...

...

...

... "Well." Nick clapped his hands together, rubbing them. "How about we all introduce ourselves?" He asked as he sat in a chair in Samus's ship, looking around at the various "guests". Samus was still rather subdued, not speaking, hands folded in her lap as the others looked at each other. "I'm Nick. Nick Grey. I'm from Earth. Consider me a guide. I'll be here to help all of you out." He said. "It's what I do."

"What you **do**? What are you exactly, a professional superhero?" Samus inquired.

"No, no, more like a...teacher." Nick said. "Erin, would you like to go next?"

"Well, okay." Erin said, brushing some of her hair back. "I'm Erin Nightshade. I'm from the Planet Aroses. Nick and I know each other from a nice adventure the two of us had together. He's a very, VERY good friend, and I was happy to help him out with this. I can't resist the chance to help save worlds, after all!" She told them all cheerily.

"Ooh, ooh!" Kirby held his stubby hand up. "I wanna go, I wanna go!"

"Yes, Kirby, go ahead." Nick said.

"I'm Kirby!" Kirby said, pointing at himself. "Star Warrior of Dreamland!" He punched the air a few times with quick fervor, grinning broadly. "I take a lickin' and keep on kickin', and I'm here MOSTLY...for the free food." He laughed. "I mean, I don't get to eat out often, and it's so exciting being able to travel to other places, chompin' down bad guys."

"Chompin'...down...bad guys." Samus commented, blinking a few times.

"Yeah, you'd best stand back when Kirby opens up his mouth and starts inhaling. Trust me, I saw it in action." Alex remarked.

"Ah, Alex!" Nick said happily. "Would you like to go next?"

The teen raised his head. A smile crept across his face.

"Most certainly." he said as he uncrossed his legs. "I'm Alex Hardie. Like Nick, I'm a dimensional traveler, but he's got it more lax than I do. I'm an unwilling police officer, not that people appreciate my work generally, and people remember Nick, but what the hey. I'm just here to help out a friend, it's not like immortality is getting any better."

"You're immortal too?" Erin asked, looking interested.

"Wait, YOU'RE immortal?" Nick asked, looking Erin over.

"Provided nothing, y'know, SHOOTS me or STABS me, yes, I'll live forever. That's one of the reasons my people were peaceful. We get so easily killed off...GOT...so easily killed off..." She murmured, her voice dropping slightly.

"So...Alex...ah..." Samus remarked, looking him over. "Where, pray tell, do you know Nick from?"

"Uh, it varies between us, I first met Nick later in his life on Kauaii, but he first met me years earlier, I was his trainer for...an eventuality." he said as he leant back, with a pondering look. Suddenly he snapped his fingers, before pointing at Erin.

"I remember you, I visited the Aerosian planet years ago, I met a small girl there, and you smell exactly the same."

"...um...THANKS?" Erin inquired, scratching her head.

"Well, Samus, would you like to introduce yourself now? After all, this is your-wait..." Nick blinked a few times. **"WHO'S DRIVING?**" He yelled.

"Relax. We're on autopilot. We'll arrive at our destination in a half an hour." Samus insisted. "I'm Samus Aran. Bounty Hunter. You don't need to know anything else."

"...to the point...isn't she?" Erin asked Alex, tilting her head to the side to give him a look.

_"I don't like her."_ Kirby whispered in agreement.

Alex shrugged. "Every person has their eccentricities, that's hers/" he told Erin "She is exceedingly to the point."

He quickly reached behind him and lifted what looked like a power drill that used energy

"Careful Alex, don't touch anything if you don't know what it does." Nick warned him. "...or DO you know what it does?"

"Yes, it's a power drill, or a futuristic equivalent." he said as he pointed it towards him "And it does THIS." He squeezed the trigger upon it, and a beam shot through his skull

Everyone blinked in surprise, Nick scratching his head. "He's showing off." He thought to himself.

"That's burning more than usual." Alex said to himself as his fingers probed the hole. Indeed, the burn spread across half of his face before it flaked away and the hole healed.

"Well, my healing factor still works." he said to himself, somewhat disappointed

"I guess cutting your finger to test something like that is too hard?" Erin giggled.

"No, too...uninteresting." Nick remarked.

"...well, uh...good news, folks." Samus said as she turned around, approaching the control console. "We're approaching the planet now!"

As the tan-tinted Federation Planet came into view, they gasped in awe at the sheer size of the HQ. It's glistening towers...the streamlined roads...the thousands of people passing to and fro. The entire planet was a light tan color, with a fairly peaceful sky, and large expanses of brown earth. There were very odd-looking trees scattered by the Federation HQ, with strange berries. They served to make Kirby begin drooling, he was hungry again.

"Wow, this is awesome." Nick said as Kirby jumped up onto a chair to get a closer look. "It's all so...so shiny and-"

KA-KROOOOOM! Samus's eyes widened as she turned to see that the ship had taken damage. "Oh no. How did the cloaking...oh. Right. I put it on AUTOPILOT." She held her face, shaking it as the ship began to rapidly dive down towards the ground. "We should have come in secretly! They still think I'm an enemy! I was going to hail them while cloaked..."

"We're falling out of the sky?" Erin gasped, clinging to the wall with one hand, eyes widening. "Nick, sing a song!"

"I don't know any songs for stopping a ship from exploding!" Nick yelled as Kirby clung to Samus, screaming.

"Get off me!" Samus yelled.

"If you don't KNOW a song, then MAKE ONE UP!" Erin screeched.

"Uh...okay...um..." Nick began to nervously sing. "_**The ship was smoothly sailing, flying through the sky...when an engine promptly got blown up and we saw Erin cry! The ship is now quite sketchy, and fallin' all apart! And all this stress and worryyyyy is making Kirby"**_

**FRRRRRPPPP**! Kirby blushed.

"HURRRRRY!" Erin screeched as Samus gulped nervously, the ground rushing up to meet them.

"_**And so this ship that Samus loves cannot keep us aloft, and all that we can do is praaaaaaaaaaaaay...that we land somewhere soft!**_" Nick finished, crossing himself like a madman.

"I'm TELLIN' you, the Yankees are gonna go ALL-THE-WAY this year." A very large, squishy alien insisted to his short, stubby companion.

"Nah, nah, their coach is absolutely insane. BOSOX. Trust me." His companion said.

"YANKEES."

"RED SOX!"

"**YANKEES**!"

"**RED SOX!**"

**"YANK-"  
**  
THA-CLOOOOONK! The ship landed firmly on the big alien, squishing him below. "...eeeeeeeee..."

"Well if that isn't just peachy." Alex said as he looked out.

The ship was immediately surrounded on all sides by men...and women...and...THINGS...with guns. Samus came out of the ship, taking off her helmet, making the guards gasp in surprise.

"Hello." She said calmly.

"...well." The apparent captain of the guard remarked. "Call up the Supreme Commander. We've got very INTERESTING prisoners. Including one Samus Aran."

"Listen. No fighting." Samus whispered to the others as they were herded along into a large tower. "We need to be...diplomatic. These people have our only way of getting through to other realms in their clutches."

"To plant roses, we must shovel manure." Nick commented.

"And I must stay away from the Supreme Commander, who is the manure." Alex said as he hopped out.

"I just hope that White's having fewer problems than we are." Nick murmured.

"That depends on how you decide what's easier." Alex sniggered.

...

...

...

... "I've said it before, I'll say it again...this is humiliating." White muttered as he was marched through long rows of dark-blue-painted buildings. There were various Pokémon all around, staring at him in surprise as White now stood before a jackal-esque Pokémon with blue fur and white spikes jutting out from his chest and the tops of his palms respectively. The jackal-esque Pokémon looked White over with intense red eyes, standing on the balls of it's feet, frowning slightly.

It was Lucario...the Aura Pokémon.

"...and...who is this?" He asked in a deep voice.

"This is a human." Pikachu said. "He's to be held prisoner in here for attempted invasion of our planet, from what Mewtwo psychically told me."

"I'LL be the judge of that." Lucario said, holding up a paw, eyes glowing blue. White saw a light blue aura shine off the being's paws as it intently scanned him. "...wait a minute." He snapped. "This ain't no HUMAN." He said, shaking his head. "It's not got any natural aura whatsoever, even a HUMAN would have it."

"...then...if he ain't human...what IS he?" Pikachu asked as the other Pokémon crowded around.

"Untie me and I'll show you." White said.

"...is that a challenge?" Lucario inquired, getting into a fighting stance, growling slightly. "Because I am more than willing to accept it."

"Oh, good." White said. "Fine by me. Untie me, let me fight you for my freedom. I'll even promise not to run away."

"I don't know if we should trust him, sir." Pikachu said, shaking his head. "He smells funny."

"YOU ain't no basket of roses either, tubby." White told him.

"What...did...you...call...me?" Pikachu growled, his cheeks sparkling with electricity, his body quivering.

"Tell you what. Two on one. If I can't beat both of you, you do whatever you want to me. But if I win...then you sit down, shut up, and listen to what I have to say." White requested. "Deal?"

"And we should trust you WHY?" Lucario inquired.

"My motives are entirely selfish. I want to live. But more importantly, I have my standards, and I wouldn't ever be able to forgive myself if I lost to an electric rat."

Lucario gave a small grin. "THAT sort of person are you? Very well." He whistled, and a small little dog-like creature, a "Riolu" who would one day BECOME a Lucario, rang a gong. "Let us journey hence...**to the ring**!" Lucario roared out.

"The wha?"

**THE RING!  
**

White now found himself in one end of an enormous ring that was shaped like a giant Pokeball, of all things. There were small little towers on all ends of the ring, with the mountains looming far off in the distance, the sun peeking out over the tops of the peak. He climbed up a small set of stairs as Pikachu and Lucario stretched their arms and legs out, already inside the ring.

"It shall be as a tag team match." Lucario said, standing on his paw, doing push-ups, legs held high in the air. "Are you comfortable with this?" He asked as Pikachu climbed out of the ring on a staircase on the other side, sitting with the large crowd of Pokémon that were watching.

"Yeah, I'm fine." White said, cracking his knuckles. "But just so you know, I might not be strong, but I am FAST. So you'd better keep up..."

He clenched his fists, pink energy swirling around them. **"Cuz I'm gonna show you what true speed's all about!"**

White held his hands up, maneuvering them around, letting forth rapid-fire bursts of pink energy. "**RHYTHMIC CHAOS BURST!**" He roared out, eyes glittering.

"**ExtremeSpeed!**" Lucario cried out as he ducked and weaved, spinning on his head and jumping through the air, shots of chaos energy just barely grazing him as he landed back on the ring, maneuvering around the blasts. As he twirled around, it seemed like...he was DANCING.

"Wow, it's the **ExtremeSpeed** ability!" Pikachu gasped as Lucario continued to dodge the attacks. "Get him, get the gajin!"

"Gajin? OH, **NOW** I know! That accent's a Kanzai, you're from Japan-" White said, accidentally ceasing the onslaught of pink energy.

BA-BAM! Lucario's fist caught him in the cheek and he went flying through the air as Lucario blew fake dust off of his paw. "Phoo. What was that you were saying about speed?"

KRUCKKA-KRACK! A harsh kick to the back made him gasp as White growled in his ear. "Wanna REPEAT that comment?" He growled as Lucario hit the floor of the ring, White holding up his fist as it surged with chaos energy. He swept a hand down, narrowly missing Lucario as the jackal-like Pokémon spun away, getting into a fighting stance. "C'mon. Take your best shot."

"Hmph." Lucario jumped through the air, fist held high, glowing with blue aura as White quickly snapped his fingers at the jackal "**CHAOS CEASE!**"

A wave of black energy surrounded Lucario, as his fist was INCHES from breaking White's hand in half. White grinned, folding his arms. "Not bad, eh?"

"What...what IS that?" Pikachu gasped as the other Pokémon looked on in amazement.

"He controls time and space?"

"He can DO all that?"

"What kind of a demon is he?"

"What the hell ARE you?"

"THAT'S called Chaos Cease. It freezes people's bodies in motion by halting time…to a certain extent, anyhow. Your body, per se, isn't frozen, but the immediate area around you is, so I imagine you must feel like you're stuck in a mold." White commented calmly.

Pikachu promptly leapt into the ring, tapping Lucario's hand. "Tag."

"Oop." White commented just as Pikachu pounded his fist into White's stomach, making him go flying backwards, hitting the ground. He let out a rasping, hacking cough and puked up some spit, slowly standing up. "Holy-I FELT that, what in the?"

"Some Pikachus choose to develop their electrical talents. I chose a different path." He clenched his fist, getting into a defensive stance. "The way of the warrior. The Bushido Code."

"I'd be intrigued if I wasn't in the middle of trying not to upchuck my BREAKFAST." White groaned, holding his stomach as Pikachu held up his fist, sparkling electrical power surging through it.

"I am Pikachu! FEAR...MY...**THUNDERPUNCH**!" Pikachu roared out.

White gasped and managed to jump through the air, barely avoiding a harsh strike from Pikachu as the electric mouse struck the ground, enormous, rippling blasts of electricity sparkling through the air, dark clouds forming over the ring as the other Pokémon ducked and covered.

"Watch iiiiit!" One Eevee announced, a pink ribbon around it's neck. "Be more CAREFUL, okay?" It whined.

"Sorry." Pikachu apologized, turning around. It held it's fist up again as White stood there, arms held up, in a fighting position. "Not running? Good. It's best to stand before the hurricane...it matters not if your shouts are not heard by it, for your bravery will remain in Heaven."

"Are you honestly doing this because you think I'm a threat and want to stop me, or because your pride won't let you?"

"The first. Are you trying to fight with me because you think I'M a threat, or because of your pride?" Pikachu inquired. "**Thunder...PUUUUNCH!**" He roared, shooting forward, fist held high.

"...bit of both." White said, folding his arms.

With a loud crackling, bursting noise, Pikachu was launched backwards, his attack halted against a shimmering green bubble as he lay on the ground, groaning.

"That's called Chaos Shell. It works by carbonizing chaos energy, turning it into a semi-metallic shield. And luckily, it doesn't conduct electricity either." White added.

"...clearly...I underestimated you..." Pikachu said, slowly staggering to his feet. "But behold! I will meet metal with metal!"

He clenched his fist, growling darkly, his tail suddenly aglow. "**IRON TAIL!**" He roared, leaping forward, slamming his tail at the shield.

With a BAM-BAM-BAM he smashed his tail against the shield as White gasped, quickly dropping it and jumping back. An idea was forming in his head. What if...just...WHAT IF...

"And now, I'll-" Pikachu exclaimed, rushing forward...

WOOOP! He was tripped by White, who watched calmly, arms folded a Pikachu struck one of the small towers on the sides of the ring, groaning in pain. He then calmly walked over to Pikachu, picking him up, and holding him tightly to his chest, covering his mouth with his hand. "I've noticed something. You only attack...after you've said the name of your attack. And that's it. You have to say the name of your attack to use it."

Pikachu sweatdropped, hanging his head.

"You ALL have to do that, don't you? Let me guess...as long as it's so much as a whisper, you can pull off something like, say, a Thundershock right now and fry me? But if you can't get the words out, you can't do anything but squirm around." White asked.

"..." Pikachu hung his head and White slowly let go of him.

"Truce?" He asked.

"...truce." Pikachu mumbled nervously as Lucario finally hit the ground, groaning, the Chaos Cease wearing off. "Can't believe you figured it out so quickly..."

"I'm good at it." White said, putting his hands on his hips, beaming. "Now...what shall we talk about?"


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Tell me." White asked as he sat in Lucario's private office at the training grounds. It was a fairly large room with many manila envelopes located on shelves upon the walls...each of the envelopes had the names of various Pokémon, the places they came from, and apparently, how long they had to be in training.

The paint job was atrocious, though. Splashes of army green, grey and brown. White tried not to notice it, or the badly-chipped desk Lucario was sitting on with Pikachu. "What do you honestly know about humans?"

"Supposedly, at one point, humans and Pokémon lived together." Lucario informed him. "They lived upon the same world even. But then there was a separation, when the Legendary Pokémon dared to rebel against their cruel human masters. They fought against insurmountable odds, but ultimately were only able to...well...come to a draw."

"They couldn't fight the humans through conventional methods, so they were confused as to how they could possibly win. Then the humans just...left." Pikachu said, shrugging.

"Just...left?" White inquired, looking confused.

"Indeed. It seems they traveled to another world, leaving the world they'd inhabited behind...all of their technology, all of their buildings, all of their knowledge. The Legendaries used these things to help make this world into a paradise for Pokémon, and they became our governing body." Pikachu finished.

"So this used to be a human military base?" White inquired, looking interested. "...hmm. Well, you told me what I wanted to hear, now I'll tell you about myself." He said, leaning back against the wall once again. "Originally, I was nothing more than a suppressed dark side of a human being..."

...

...

...

...Kirby, Samus, Link, Nick, Alex and Erin had been worried that their sudden arrival at the Galactic Federation would mean they'd be arrested. But not quite. Not...quite.

Instead, whom should they find sitting behind a desk, looking oddly cheerful and VERY glad to see Nick, was a blue, scaly-looking, vaguely reptilian creature with small red horns on it's forehead, an orange neckerchief with orange gloves to match, and a red chest/belly.

He stood up, strode over to Samus, and immediately shook her hand. "It's an absolute PLEASURE to meet you!" Snizzi the Imp said, before turning to Nick and hugging him tightly. "Nick, I'm so glad to see you once again!"

"You...KNOW the Supreme Commander?" One of the Guards inquired, a slightly stubby-bearded man with balding hair poorly hidden beneath a cap, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, Ponze, I know him." Snizzi said, folding his arms across his chest, beaming. "You can all leave now. I'll take care of things from here."

The guards shuffled out, Ponze closing the door behind him as Snizzi sat behind the desk, putting his taloned feet up upon the desk. "However can I help you?"

"You know him, Nick?" Erin asked, looking at the red-eyed imp.

"Yes, he's...he's kind of an old enemy..." Nick murmured. "You want to help me, Snizzi? Fine. For starters...you can tell me WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?" Nick yelled. "How did YOU get back to life? What are you doing here? What's going on with the Galactic-"

"After crawling my way out of hell. The Federation hired me as a temporary bodyguard to the original head of the Galactic Federation." Snizzi went on. "See, originally I had a simple enough idea. Just bring ruin to the whole thing because it was corrupt at the top." He then giggled. "But that was stupid! There are millions who joined the Galactic Federation army alone because they want to protect the planets that are a part of it. Just raining down destruction on the HQ or storming it with the help of the Space Pirates, that would only make things worse."

Samus frowned slightly. For some reason, this seemed to irritate her. Perhaps because she'd had that idea herself. "Make things worse", eh?

"So I just bumped off the head of the Galactic Federation after I had him sign something he THOUGHT was a prisoner release form." Snizzi held up a piece of paper that looked like a prisoner release form, then put a digit to the end of the page, just before the signature...peeling away the layer that said "Prisoner Release", revealing it to be a "Transfer of Rights" form instead. "And just like that, I got to be in charge!"

"...Samus...please tell me this isn't possible." Erin asked, giving Samus a look.

"How could ANY government possibly be so..." Link asked, looking mortified. "It doesn't...I mean...they ought to be much wiser than THAT!"

"Yeah, the human race seems to screw up a **LOT**." Alex pointed out.

"Yes, they should be wiser...and the kind of people who pay better attention to what they're signing." Snizzi commented. "The problem is there's pretty much a form for EVERYTHING in the Galactic Federation. But hey, I was able to use it to improve things."

"Improve things HOW?" Nick asked.

"For starters, we're broke."

Samus snorted, trying to contain her laughter. "**What**?"

"We've been busy donating millions to starving refugees on Planet Arcturus and Sirius Minor, as well as providing relief efforts to the inhabitants of Planet Genosa, who just got through with a terrible planet-wide drought, and we've stepped up our interplanetary defense efforts to make sure the Space Pirates will cease to prey upon any other colonies." Snizzi explained.

"But doing all that made you broke." Nick asked.

"...yep." Snizzi admitted. "Hence why I'm glad YOU showed up. We finally located the birthplace of the Space Pirates! We're going to storm the place and seize all of their assets. We're going to teach them a lesson once and for all. But, like I said, our forces and money have been spread thin, sooooo..." He tilted his head to the side, looking them over expectantly.

"...if we help you out with this...will you take us to your dimensional technology so we can cross over to the other realms?" Nick requested.

"Why, of course! You scratch my back..." Snizzi said with a demonic grin.

"One question." Alex said, lifting his hand "I can travel between dimensions under my own power, why should I help you? Besides, I'm a fugitive here."

"I know." Snizzi said, holding up a poster with Alex's visage upon it. "But I can pardon you. I AM head of the Galactic Federation. If you assist me with this...I'll consider you a free man!"

...

...

...

... "And that's the whole story." White said. "Now, I'm guessing that somebody in this Pokémon world is responsible for how reality changed. If anybody would remember how it happened, it would be somebody Nick used to know from this realm of existence. In fact, most likely, THEY'RE responsible for changing all of this."

He looked at Pikachu. "Nick had a Pikachu just like you, in fact. You might be the one who changed everything to be the way it is right now!"

Pikachu scratched his head. "...well...I do not remember ever meeting any humans." He murmured.

"I think you DO." White told him, shaking his head. "There's no other way to explain your Kanzai accent! You would have had to have grown up in an area around humans, listening to their speech pattern." White informed him. "You need to REMEMBER..."

Pikachu held his head in one paw, gritting his teeth. "I...I..."

_The tall trees towered around him, the wind ruffling through his yellow fur as he inhaled deeply, breathing in the scent of the forest, the clouds passing overhead as he yawned, stretching as he stood up in the enormous wooden treehouse he'd created. Giving his two little brothers a pat on the head, he slowly walked out to the patio of the treehouse, resting his body on the railing, eyes peering out at the beautiful forest._

_**Waking up in the light...of a shiny new day!**_

_**Giving thanks to the Moon...for guiding my way!**_

_He held a fist to his chest, taking in a deep breath as he spread his arms out._

_**There is no better gift to the soul...**_

_**Than each breath that my bodyc an hold!**_

_**So Great Spirit...hear my voice...todaaay...**_

_Grabbing ahold of a small knapsack that was hanging on the railing, he then leapt onto a nearby rope, sliding down it, landing with a THUNKA as he promptly raced along the forest floor. Time to go find some breakfast, and he smiled broadly to himself, the forest path illuminated by the beaming sunlight. _

_**Wellll-coooome-maaa-giiiic,**_

_**Wel-come-sweet-sun-ray!**_

_**Love is no secret, look all around you,**_

_**Welcome-to-this-day!**_

_Finally he reached the river, lookin up at the rope swing he'd installed. Leaping through the air, paws gripping it tightly, he swung through the air, spinning around and landing on the opposite end of the rushing river, by the berry bushes. _

_**Life gets simple and clear...when you make the right choice!  
It's truth that you hear...when you find your own voice!**_

_**Oh, my brother and sisters believe...**_

_**You are just where you are meant to be!**_

_He deposited the berries in his knapsack, placing his hands together and bowing at the sky, giving thanks._

_**Ohhh Great Spirit...hear my voice...todaaay...**_

_And now for his favorite part. He jumped into the river, atop a log that was stationed nearby. Quickly kicking it free of the bank, he floated down the river as drops of water splashed against his cheeks, the wind ruffling through his fur._

_**Wellll-coooome-maaa-giiiic,**_

_**Wel-come-sweet-sun-ray!**_

_**Love is no secret, look all around you,**_

_**Welcome-to-this-day!**_

_Finally the roar of a waterfall reached his ears and he jumped through the air, landing expertly on a tree branch nearby, sliding down the tree and plopping down to the edge of the cliff, watching the log go over. He took a deep breath._

_**Wellll-coooome-maaa-giiiic,**_

_**Wel-come-sweet-sun-ray!**_

_**Love is no secret, look all around you!**_

_Placing the knapsack by the tree, Pikachu then leapt over the cliff, spiraling down into the water and plopping inside the depths with all the skill of an Olympic Diver. Soon he was swimming to the shore, where a slew of wild flowers were growing. He began picking them one at a time, continuing to sing._

_**Wellll-coooome-maaa-giiiic,**_

_**Wel-come-sweet-sun-ray!**_

_**Love is no secret, look all around you,**_

_**Welcome-to-this-day!**_

_Soon he had all the salad he needed, and he breathed in deep the scent of a blue-tipped flower, taking a small nibble. _

_**Love is no secret, look all around you,**_

_**Welcome-to-this-day!**_

_Turning around, he headed back towards the Cliffside, taking the hillside way back up, not noticing that somebody was following him. _

_A voice called out..._

Pikachu snapped back to reality, gasping. "...I...what...? How?" He murmured. "...Pikachu, _Omee tada no baka-mono da!_" He mumbled. "How could I believe this reality was...my brothers!" He gasped, holding his head. "Where are Zig and Zag? By the Great Spirit, I...I need to find them!"

Lucario turned to White, a sobering look upon his face. "It's all true, it appears." He murmured. "...I find my own memories returning. This...this world is very nice, but..." He shook his head. "...but it is not the right way. We have segregated ourselves from humans. We didn't solve anything. We ran from them."

"That can be fixed." White said. "But we'll need to find the other Pokémon Nick had. They'll ALL need to remember. Do you think Mewtwo would-"

"He is almost always with the Legendaries. We should approach him when he is far away from them, and he won't be for several weeks. He takes a vacation on the dot, every Spring at a beautiful resort at Cinnabar." Lucario informed him. "Are there any others we could reach more easily?"

"...I THINK...there IS..." White said, rubbing his chin. "That Eevee with the pink ribbon. Where did it go?"

"Oh, Eevee of the Valley Clan!" Lucario said. "He's headed off towards Saffron City today. He's doing a radio program. Why?"

"Because he's the one Eevee we need!" Pikachu said as he quickly ran outside with White and Lucario following them. "He's a fellow comrade of mine! You!" He called out to a Riolu who was sitting by a car. "Taxi driver, where did Eevee of the Valley Clan go? Did you already take him to Saffron?"

"No, sir. He hitched a ride with Ms. Pidgeot of the Sky Realm."

"_Ahondara ya de_!" Pikachu yelled, pulling at his ears. "He's long gone already!"

"And Mewtwo telepathically called me ten minutes ago. He's coming in half an hour to check on YOU..." Lucario said, looking at White, tapping his "wrist" where a non-existent watch was...or rather, WASN'T.

"...I have an idea." White said, rubbing his chin.

SOME TIME LATER...

"I am quite, quite pleased with your training program here, Lucario." Mewtwo said as he entered the room.

"The honor is MINE, sir." Lucario said, holding up a small jewelry box. "I brought you something in honor of the position you bestowed upon me. Being able to train the future protectors of this world is something most only dream of." He said, pulling out a small wristband that was painted with tribal colors. "This is a little something I created. It's used to bring good luck."

The psychic cat looked it over, a bit put-off by this dumb-looking trinket, but he slipped it on. "Hmm. Fits snugly." He remarked, sitting down in a nearby chair as Lucario sat behind the desk. "Would you be so kind as to fetch me some champagne?"

Lucario whistled, and Pikachu headed inside, holding a glass of champagne in a bucket filled with ice. "Ah, a lovely merlot." Mewtwo complimented, clapping his hands. "It smells divine! So do tell me..." He asked, taking the wine bottle and uncorking it. "How goes the training?"

"Ah, they're greens, well and truly." Lucario said. "But the little ones shall come around."

"Your health." Mewtwo said, taking a swig of the champagne. "And that human?"

"He's an odd sort, sir." Lucario admitted. "He has the strangest appearance. I wonder if he even IS human."

"He isn't." Mewtwo told him. "He is an experimental being. No human could cross over the barriers between the realms on their own. They would need to create something far sturdier. They succeeded, in a sense, unknowing that we Legendaries were waiting for them!" He laughed. "The poor fools."

"Well what shall I do with him?" Lucario inquired. "He seems to have strange powers."

"Simple. He's a sensational discovery...a living superweapon. Once we brainwash him, we'll be able to gain supremacy over the humans, to punish them for trying to invade our world." Mewtwo said, taking another swig of the champagne. "I've discussed it with Mew. We leave with him tomorrow morning..." He pulled out some papers from a small knapsack he had, waving them in the air.

"_Ah-haaaaa_..." White thought to himself, hiding in a nearby chest, pink eyes glaring out at Mewtwo's back.

"Mew will arrive and together we will get to work. And within the week...the human world will be ours." Mewtwo explained, putting the papers back in the knapsack. "These are the release papers, all are in order."

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea to be seeking war, sir." Lucario informed him. "War is a horrifying business. I've been out in the field for years, dealing with natural disasters and various squabbles. I've done much work, trying to make sure that fighting becomes the LAST resort in dealing with others whom we disagree with. Are you SURE this being was sent here to invade us? Just one person?"

"Humans are cocky. They believe all it takes is one person to change everything." Mewtwo admitted. "In many ways, they're right..." He said softly, almost sadly. "...but times have changed. Now we need to be proactive." He said, drinking some more champagne. "I'd give you the papers now, but Mew INSISTS that she be there when I hand them over. She wishes to keep an eye on me. I think she might even fancy me."

"Will she be coming in by flight? Super-speed?" Lucario inquired.

"Bouncy pink ball." Mewtwo commented.

...

...

...

...it was late at night, as Lucario, holding onto the release papers, presented them in front of the night guard at the gate, with Pikachu driving the car they were in, White sitting in the backseat, tied up and incapacitated...or so it would seem. "See?" He told the guard. "His official seal. We're to deliver the prisoner to the Legendaries. Make sure Mewtwo is aware that we were on time for delivery after he wakes up from his bunk."

"So these papers are official? You're sure?"

"Of course. You'll make sure Mewtwo is aware?"

"Of **course**, sir." The guard, another Riolu, said, it's little paws saluting.

Pikachu eased the car out of the gate and began driving off, whilst Lucario turned around, White calmly untying himself. "Well, this was easier than I thought!" He remarked.

Meanwhile, Mewtwo had woken up from his cot in the middle of the night. He had an annoying headache, and he needed some fresh air to clear his head. As he walked along the training grounds, he heard the guard call out to him. "Oh! Sir! Ooh, ooh!" The little jackal jumped up and down, waving it's paws in the air, one hand still gripping his rifle. "Sir, I need to make you aware of something! Commander Lucario said I need to make you aware!"

"...aware of what?" Mewtwo asked, tilting his head to the side, looking slightly confused. Why did he have a headache?

"The papers regarding the release of the prisoner. They're official, right?" The Riolu nervously asked.

"Of course they are!" Mewtwo said condescendingly. "By the 1000 Arms of Arceus, when a document bears the Legendary Seal, when is it NOT official-"

His purple eyes widened. "...did...you just say...the papers for release?" He whispered.

His paws quickly dove into the knapsack. They fumbled around...

Nothing. "THE PAPERS!" He gasped. "It's treason! They've been **stolen**!" He screamed. **"How?"  
**

He suddenly looked down at the little good-luck wristband he had on. REALLY looked down at it. Scraping off the paint, he noticed it was made of the same kind of stone that the prisoner's handcuffs had been in...Limiter Stone!

"GAAAAAAH!" He grabbed ahold of the Riolu. "Who's next in charge of this base?"

"Uh, I guess that would be Pikachu, sir, he's Sub-Commander...but he's gone out with Mr. Lucario. But I'm Captain of the Guard, so I guess I'M next in line." The Riolu nervously squeaked out.

**"If you don't get those three back here I'LL HAVE YOU SHOT!"** Mewtwo roared, shaking the puppy in the air.

...

...

...

... "They've raised the alarm, no doubt." Lucario said as Pikachu drove the car down the road, heading down Route 6 to Saffron City. "And we still have an hour of driving to go before we reach the city..."

"_Nani-yo_!" Pikachu swore as he pointed at the rear-view mirror, bushes passing by on either side as the roar of engines came their way. "Motorbikes!"

"I'll take care of this..." White said, turning around, holding a fist up as it glowed brightly, only to watch as...

The motorbikes promptly crashed into themselves, the purplish, muscular beasts colliding with each other and landing in a heap in the middle of the road. "...guess Nidokings can't ride too well."

"A lot of the human technology is very...hard for us to use if we haven't had many years of experience." Pikachu admitted. "Most of us have a hard enough time working basic things like guns and cars, myself included! Luckily this car is an automatic, I'd NEVER be able to drive a stick-shift!" He told them all as they continued to race along the road, the engine purring like a kitten. "I don't think I've EVER seen a Pokémon on a motorcycle for more than five minutes..."

"Except that Squirtle Squad, but those people are absolutely _amazing_." Lucario admitted as they headed through a thick forest past some large boulders and towering trees.

"Uh...what about...tanks?" White nervously remarked, pointing up the road. An enormous tank was blocking the way.

"Oh no-no-no!" Pikachu gasped, trying to halt the car, only to have it skid. The car careened through the air, falling down a hillside into the forest as the humanoid-esque bluish/grey-skinned beasts climbed out of the tank, gasping, taking their helmets off.

"Did you SEE that?" One Machoke gasped.

"I saw it, but I can barely believe it!" Another admitted as they quickly headed down to where the car had been wrecked. "...oooh. Pancaked."

"Poor devils, they're probably..." The other one sniffed the air. "...how come I don't smell blood or guts?"

"SO LONG, SUCKERS!" White called out as the tank promptly rolled off down the road. "Thank you, chronokinesis!" He remarked, kissing his fist like he had a ring on it.

"Huh?" Lucario asked, looking confused.

"Time/space powers-oop." White looked through the front hatch of the tank, pointing out. "A road block!" He announced, seeing several Riolu at a wooden road block with various rifles and several cars parked to help assist in the blockage.

"Well, that's too bad. I'll have to ram it." Pikachu said, shrugging.

THWONKA!

"DUUUUDE!" One Riolu yelled. "I HAD FIVE MORE PAYMENTS LEFT ON THAT!"

"What's that?" Lugia exclaimed as gasped, Mewtwo communicating with him. "They've ESCAPED? What, did they steal a tank or-THEY DID?" Lugia howled angrily, bashing his fists against the table he and the other Legendaries were sitting at, the Captain of the Guard nervously biting his "nails" as Mew calmly played with a paddleball.

"They took a car AND stole a tank just ten minutes ago?" Lugia psychically called to Mewtwo. "Blow them up, then! Exterminate them! **PULVERIZE THEM!**"

"Don't worry." Mew said. "Celebi said she'd take care of it."

Some distance down Route 6, Celebi was sitting at the controls of an anti-tank car with a large mounted cannon on the front, a radar screen indicating that the tank she was looking for was fast approaching. Ho-Oh sat near her, nodding firmly. "Alright, here they come."

"...I feel bad about this. This doesn't feel...sporting. Can't we use a Hyper Beam attack?" Celebi mumbled.

"We cannot let them escape. Think about the chaos the world will be thrown into if they tell others the truth of what happened." Ho-Oh said.

"But I don't really WANNA invade the human world. Can't we just, I dunno, knock that weird white-haired guy over the head and give him amnesia or something?" Celebi said. "What would I do with a human slave anyhow?"

"What CAN'T you do with a human slave?" Ho-Oh laughed as the tank approached their position. "Now shoot 'em down!"

BEEP!

**THWA-BOOOOM!**

Celebi lay sprawled across a tree limb, the wreckage of the anti-tank car scattered around as Ho-Oh hung from a tree limb across from her, wings flopping down. White poked his head out of the top of the tank, smirking. "Why, if it isn't Merry and Pippin!"

"...I knew we should have just stuck to a "Hyper Beam" attack." Celebi mumbled.

"Well THAT was good. They're doing all of our work for us. We might actually make it to Saffron City untouched after all!" Pikachu said happily.

"...wait." Lucario sniffed the air, frowning. "...what's that...smell?"

"Oh no...OH NO." Pikachu gasped in horror, looking at the strange, rounded things in the middle of the road up ahead. "MINES!" He screamed.

"Heh-heh." Lugia chuckled. "They'll be reaching the mines soon. And THESE aren't faulty human mines. We've made them ourselves, improving on their designs! Those traitors are finished for sure now!"

Mew stopped playing with the paddleball. "Wait, you planted MINES in the road? When was this?"

"Oh, in ALL the roads leading to Saffron, it's under quarantine, remember?" Lugia said nonchalantly.

"You-YOU!" Mew screamed, whacking him over the head with the paddleball. "THEN YOU PUT UP STUPID YELLOW TAPE OR SOMETHING, NOT...GAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"**GAAAAAH**! How do you stop this thing?" Pikachu yelled, looking around at the controls. He yanked on one lever, only to have it make the cannon for the tank swirl around. Another lever made a small disco ball drop down as "Disco Inferno" began to play.

"..." Lucario sighed, and placed his hands together, beginning to pray as White raised his hand to try and-

But he didn't need to. They passed over the mines, scrunching them into pieces...continuing down the road. "What the?" Another Machoke yelled, jumping up and down. "Who unloaded all of those duds on us?"

"That's what happens when you try to imitate human technology and don't have, say, opposable thumbs." White remarked as they continued down the road.

"Look! The city!" Pikachu gasped, the beautiful, golden towers of Saffron sparkling as they rode up a hill. "Nothing can happen to us now!"

THWOMPA!

The tank promptly was stopped in place, and they stared out at an enormous, blobby, vaguely mammalian thing that was sitting in the middle of the road, sound asleep, letting out loud snores of "Snooooooor-laaaaaaaaaax" with every deep breath.

"...pfft..." White began to laugh. "...ha-ha-ha-ha! Quick!...pffft...**get a Master Ball!...**HA-HA-HA-HA!"

...

...

...

... "Well, Samus...are you sure you want to do this?" Nick asked as he and Kirby walked alongside her through the hallways of the Galactic Federation HQ, towards the enormous starport where their ship was waiting. They would be following Snizzi's personal cruiser and what forces he had mustered straight towards the hidden planetoid of "Crania".

"They started the fight. Now I intend to finish it." Samus murmured, clenching her fist.

"You sure you don't want, maybe, LINK coming along?" Kirby nervously asked. "I dunno about this, I mean..." He quivered slightly. "It would seem the person with the sword would be-"

"He only HAS sword and shield. Link is very good, but he's not got enough experience in fighting with people who have...well, guns." Nick told him. "You can just suck the suckers up, and Samus can just blast them. He'd most likely break his sword against their armor..."

"I just hope that Erin and the others make it safely to the other realms." Samus said. "If what you've said is true, then there should only be one more place that's an immediate danger to Link's world, and to ours. You've...been to this "Pokémon World"?" She inquired.

"Yes, it's a very-"

"That's nice, let's get on the ship." Samus interrupted, making Nick give her a "GEE, rude much" look. She boarded her spaceship with the others following onto it as Snizzi pressed a button on his cruiser, the enormous spaceport opening up it's doors, a visible, shimmering shield, most likely to keep oxygen in and make sure anybody didn't get sucked out via "vacuum of space". The two ships led the charge as a small platoon of spaceships shot out into the depths of space.

"You're aware we could be walking into a trap?" Samus asked Snizzi calmly.

"Then we spring it." Snizzi said simply. "I doubt they have anything that could surprise me."

"You're sure he said it was down this hallway? They all appear the same to me." Link admitted nervously as he, Erin and Alex headed down a long, stainless-steel hallway which, supposedly, had within it a room that contained an enormous laboratory. This laboratory supposedly would help them find their way into the Pokémon world if all went well.

"It should be...the next door on the-" Erin began.

"So you're SURE they're the ones? The ones who freed Samus from that spell?"

Erin, Link and Alex stopped. They turned, noticing a door was slightly ajar and a few people were in there, talking. One of them was Ponze, the guard. The other...was unmistakably inhuman, and unmistakably a space pirate. Bigged-out, glassy eyes...a beaked face...crab-like ligaments for hands and arms...taloned feet and insectoid wings...

"Yes. They're here. Half of them have left with the Head of the GF's most loyal troops, though. So we should be able to proceed with the plan."

Ponze had tossed his uniform away to the side and was wearing strange-looking clothes that looked like imitation armor of a Space Pirate. He'd also forgotten about his gun...Erin reached down, carefully sliding her hand in through the door...

"Excellent. They've no idea what's lying in wait for them. Most of them will be wiped out by Mother Brain, no doubt, but just in case they escape, have all of your men man the gunning stations here at-"

"FREEZE." Erin growled as she held the gun up, Link drawing his sword, Alex standing near Erin, giving them a threatening glare. "Alright, you're both under arrest. You! Crab-cake! Tie up Benedict Arnold over here with those bungee cords in the corner closet behind you." She said, pointing at the traitorous Ponze.

The space pirate muttered angrily as he tied up Ponze, with Alex soon tying HIM up. "Ah, that's better." Erin said.

"You'll be doing no more villainy HERE, you fiend." Link said, holding his sword up threateningly in the air.

"Good to see that a thug sees reason at the end of a loaded gun." Erin remarked.

"End of a loaded-oh, CRAP!" Ponze snapped. "I forgot! My freakin' plasma cells are drained up!"

"You mean to tell me the gun here isn't even LOADED?" Erin asked, holding it up.

"Well THAT'S amusing. And also sad. Budget cuts?" Alex mused.

"HELP! HELP!" The space pirate and the traitor yelled. "HELP, they're here! Rescue us! The outsiders have us tied up!"

"Hey, you be quiet!" Erin demanded. "Or I'm gonna-"

"You're gonna WHAT?" Ponze sneered. "That gun's not loaded, and that little toothpick your blonde friend is wielding wouldn't even DENT my friend's armor!"

"There's more than one use for a gun, sir. Allow me to demonstrate!" Erin said with a dark frown.

**BANG-KLONG-BAMF-BONK-THUD-THUD!**

The two finks hit the ground as Alex smiled to himself. "That was just like on "Batman"." He complimented.

"Hmm. I admit, I might look good in tights." Erin asked as Link put his ear to the door.

"...oh no." He murmured. "They've raised the alarm. Their entire group is now housed in these halls, and it would appear we are the only ones capable of stopping them." He turned to them, giving them a firm stare. "My sword may not be capable of destroying them, but I am the Hero of Time. I'll find a way to help you all the same. I refuse to give up. I refuse to feel...useless."

"Trust me, you're far from useless." Erin insisted. "What we really need to find a communications line. Get the news to Nick and the others." Erin said. "They need to know they're walking into a trap!"


	9. Chapter 9

**CHAPTER NINE**

By now, White, Lucario and Pikachu were carefully hiding in an alley in Saffron City, slinking around. Saffron City was an enormous, grandiose place with buildings that seemed to deliberately appear as big and fancy as possible. In fact, it was almost insulting how much gold there was all around. Gold-painted homes, several apartment blocks that glittered with the same bright hue, a light golden road leading the average citizen around the city...

And to top it off, the infamous "Saffron SILPH Company" building in the center of the city, a crystalline structure with a large, ovalesque dome at the top and thousands of glittering windows lining up and down the front and back, dozens of Pokémon visible through said windows.

The entire place could have been summed up in one word. "Show off".

White could not have been happier. "The energy of this place, all the hustle and bustle." He told Lucario and Pikachu as they carefully looked left, then right, diving into another alley. "I could get used to this!" He said out loud. "But why are there no people out on the streets? Is everyone just staying indoors to watch a ballgame or something?"

"No, I believe that there's a quarantine on Saffron City." Lucario explained. "Supposedly, a Pokémon was spreading a dangerous infection and they urged everyone in Saffron to stay in their homes until they guilty party was found. But that was over two weeks ago..." Lucario went on softly, sadly as they slunk through the northwest suburb of the city, passing by the "Pokémon Fan Club" towards a rather odd-looking house.

"Eevee came here on the behest of the people who live in this house to do his radio show here in Saffron. It's all charity work to bring attention to the cause of the people here. I even loaned him my finest motorcycle to help him get here." Lucario went on as they approached the house. It seemed to be made of a strange, reflective kind of material. It wasn't doing anything but mimicking the outside...

"This is the home of the Copycat Duo." Lucario explained. "Doduo and Chatot. They'll know where Eevee's broadcasting from. But you'd best stay hidden, understand? We'll do the talking."

White rolled his eyes, "harrumphing" as he hid behind the house, Lucario and Pikachu knocking. Soon, two figures answered the door opening up a slit at the top of the doorframe. "Hello?" came the sound of two voices speaking in unison, an unmistakable sort of "squawk" to their words.

"Doduo, Chatot?" Lucario spoke, smiling at them.

"Hold on. Who's with you?" A parrot-like Pokémon with a yellow "bib" on it's chest and a pinkish beak insisted, looking down at Pikachu.

"This is Pikachu." Lucario explained. "Pikachu of the Deep Forest."

Pikachu bowed, holding his paws together. "_Hai._"

"We're searching for Eevee of the Valley Clan. Is he in your home?"

"Nah." A tall, brown bird that was somewhat like a kind of mutant ostrich or emu said, it's long beak shaking back and forth, black eyes held tight. "He's broadcasting straight at the roof of Silph Company."

"But you'll never be able to get inside without an appointment." Chatot insisted.

"Well, we'll go and make one, then." Lucario said, nodding and leaving them be as they quickly rounded the house, finding White there. "He's at Silph Company. Right on the roof, apparently."

"Well then, why didn't you just says so?" White laughed. "Come on." He said, quickly picking them both up and suddenly taking off down the road, speeding along like a roadrunner. "We'll be there in no time!"

"If you could have done this at ANY time, why did you have us steal that truck?" Pikachu demanded to know, angrily shaking his fist at White.

"Not any time. Only when I felt like it." White said.

"OH, YOU-!"

Meanwhile, an Eevee with a pink ribbon wrapped around his neck was speaking into a microphone as he sat at a desk atop the roof of Silph Company. The dome itself was actually part of the roof, providing him with an excellent view of the entire city whilst simultaneously allowing him the protection of not being blown away by, say, the gale force winds that were being whipped up at the top of the roof.

"Well good mornin', Saffron City! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor! Would you be mine? Could you be mine?" Eevee sang out happily. "I hope I get to move in your neighborhood some day...the problem is, when I move in...you move away!" He then let out peals of giggling laughter before finally settling down.

"Now today, I want to discuss a topic very close to me. In fact, I'm actually broadcasting atop it the headquarters of Silph Company. Everybody knows how much Silph did for Saffron. This beautiful eleven story skyscraper didn't just provide us with a large number of office phones for young Pokémon to make prank calls out of on Halloween, they've manufactured all the potions, technical machines, repel spray and vitamins we could ever want."

Eevee then pressed a small button on the radio console he was using as a small little commercial message began to play. "**Rare Candy! ** What you want! What you need! **Rare Candy!** Raising levels for 70 years. **RARE CANDY!...**_Possible side effects include debility, sudden change in disposition, sleeplessness, poor posture, blindness, epilepsy and death..."_

Eevee flicked another switch, turning himself back on and resuming the broadcast. "And this week, they've finally put this imposed quarantine the Legendaries stuck us all in, a moment of silence in respect...to good use! Ladies and gentlemen...it is my GREAT pleasure to announce...the new, improved...**FULL RESTORE!** That's right, sure to cure what ails you!"

Eevee adjusted his pink ribbon and laughed. "Ah, and it gets better! Tonight, Silph Company opens its doors to let every single resident of Saffron City inside to be cured! Ah, but enough of that moving, touching news. Time for something sensational. In half an hour, I'm having conservative commentator Deoxys come in for an interview! It...at least it SAYS it's an "it"...is most famous for the provocative viewpoint it seems to have on human society!"

Eevee rolled his eyes. "So VERY, VERY uncool. I tell you, everyone, we're all entitled to our own opinions, but some of the things he's said I simply can't get behind! And I'm willing to get behind ANYONE, woh-HOHHHH! My mandatory gay joke for the day!" He promptly rung a small gong that he had in a box nearby, and giggled before resuming the talk show, noticing that a white-haired human was carrying a Lucario and Pikachu towards the door on the side of the dome he was in.

Odd. The wind was harsh though, refusing to let them go any further. He shrugged, deciding to move on.

...

...

...

... the birthplace of the Space Pirates, planet was coming into view. Samus frowned, folding her arms, familiar old memories slowly rising back to the front of her mind.

It was the color of blood, with slow-moving clouds carefully making their way over the planet's surface. There were bright lights shining in specific areas...heavy light pollution from cities below. There had once been a gigantic shield around it...now there was nothing. It was laid bare for all to see, an ugly little thing that looked like a redhead zit that was developing upon the face of the galaxy.

"It should have been DESTROYED." Samus murmured_. "I KNOW I saw it blow up...how could it have returned..."_ She wondered to herself.

"Planet Urtraghus is covered with acid rain." Snizzi informed them all as their ships touched down silently at a clearing of a forest behind some large mountain ranges. "Nobody go out there unless they've got protective shielding on."

Samus turned to the others. "Looks like you'll have to stay here unless you've got something up your sleeve." She told Kirby.

"Oh, not up my sleeve. In my mouth. Take a good look." Kirby said, opening up his maw, pointing at it with his stubby appendage. Samus blinked a few times, leaning in...

With a TWHOOOSH she was sucked inside his mouth, a momentary large, bloated bulge visible in Kirby's body. Then there was a sparkle of light, a faint, twinkling sound and...

Kirby was now covered in Samus's armor, a green visor across his eyes as he cocked his own plasma buster arm in the air. "Ready for action!" He said, saluting Samus, who gave him a look.

"If...you ever do that again...without my permission..." She said darkly.

"Uh, _comprende_, senorita!" Kirby said quickly, shaking like a leaf as Nick held up one hand, clenching it into a fist.

"_**Day and night, you're by my side, protecting meeee!**_" He sang out.

Before their eyes, a faintly shining shield appeared around him, circular in form, a faint white coloration that was very, very transparent. "This ought to work." He told them as Samus led them outside of the ship towards Snizzi, who was standing calmly in the acid rain.

"Don't be so surprised. I'm from Hell. This is nothing more than a tingly bath to me." Snizzi said, noticing Nick's surprised expression. He then used his tail and began to carve out a drawing in the ground. "We are here. The Space Pirates have been steadily declining in activity, leading me to believe they are planning a sort of "last hurrah" due to what information we could gleam. And we know they plan to do it here, we've had dozens of ships tracked back to this location and all loaded up with enough ammunition to blow entire planets to kingdom come."

"So why don't you just launch a missile at the planet and blow them all up to smithereens?" Kirby asked, looking annoyed. "Or get in the armada or something to-"

"Any ships with enough firepower to do what you're suggesting would be big, bulky, and too noticeable. Our ships are small, able to go off-the-radar. This requires something simpler, am I correct?" Samus asked calmly.

"Yes. We take charges." Snizzi explained, holding up a protected metal box filled with explosive mines. "We plant them at the headquarters of the Space Pirate base...and then we get the hell out of dodge, making sure to blow the planet up when we're well and clear of the blast radius." He laughed.

"How will we FIND the base?" Nick wanted to know. "You said you had inside information. A map? A secret memo? Battleplans?"

Snizzi smirked and led them to the back of his ship, opening up the back hatch. There was a fairly tall, unarmored space pirate. It had six eyes embedded in a pinkish head upon it's faintly light teal body, and three long-clawed hands that were forcibly tied behind it's back along with it's "chicken legs". It's sharp, long teeth snapped at them as it hissed furiously.

"Better than that." Snizzi said cheerfully.

"I won't betray my organization! DEATH before dishonor!" It screeched furiously at them. "You've not got any of your fancy machines to force me to tell the truth here, you infernal imp!"

"How about we make him talk by playing a few rounds of "who's your daddy" with his FACE?" Nick said, slamming his fist into his palm.

"Oh, no, no. That won't work. This being's fully bought into the teachings of the Space Pirates. He's not afraid to die, are you?" Samus asked calmly, approaching him.

"Tis GOSPEL indeed!" The space pirate prisoner sneered.

"...there are worse things...than dying." Samus whispered, grabbing his head and pulling him close so he could look into her eyes as they intently gazed at him, the visor rising so he could see the cold-hearted ruthlessness within. "Do you see this suit I'm wearing? I can do things to you that are absolutely inhuman. I can take you apart...and put your back together again..."

The space pirate began to nervously twitch. It's six eyes began to widen in horror, pupils becoming small pricks as Samus went on in that slow, dark-intent voice.

"And maybe I put you back together right...and maybe I don't. And over...and over...and OVER..."

"I'll talk." The prisoner squeaked.

"Gooooood." She said, patting him on the side of the head, stepping away as the prisoner hung it's head in shame, wishing it had a tongue to bite through.

"Our base is located deep in the Phazon Mines in the mountains near here. It's hundreds of miles down near the core of the planet. Just getting there will be a challenge!" He insisted. "Not to mention all the security we have! "

BAM! A quick punch from Samus knocked him out. "Let US worry about that." She said, turning to the others. "Well, we know where to go. Let's split up. Kirby will go with Nick, I'll go with you." She told Snizzi.

"Why can't Nick go with-" Snizzi began, pouting slightly.

"I know these space pirates better than any of you, that's why." She said. "And I've been here before. If what he said is true, then I might have actually visited the place where they now have their headquarters. You can find it by following the trail of luminous phazon." She explained. She noticed the blank stares she was getting from Nick and Kirby and sighed. "The big, glowy blusih stuff in the walls of the mines."

"...ah." Nick said, nodding as they began to make their trek to the mountains, a looming cave slowly coming into view...

...

...

...

..."Deoxys's new book, "Viral Campaign" is based off it's latest proposal. It posits that humans don't develop any natural equilibriums with their area, and are thus akin to viruses. In addition, Deoxys has insisted in his new book that "humans hate all Pokémon", "humans hate all Religion except one that's convenient", "humans have no concrete morality", and my personal favorite, "if humans were in charge, they'd put us all in zoos or coliseums"."

Eevee twirled the ribbon in one furry digit Seeing Pikachu had filled with old memories, but he tried to ignore them for the moment, concentrating on the show. "Frankly, if being put in a zoo means I'd get to sleep in a bed that doesn't have bedbugs infesting it, that's just fine with me. THAT'S the real threat Saffron City has: not a mystery virus, but BEDBUGS. Can somebody let me bunk with them? I promise, I'm a perfect gentleman, ladies. And I like dicks, so I promise not to stick my frank and beans in your taco salad in the middle of-"

The door to the dome atop Silph Co opened up and Lucario, Pikachu and White all toppled inside. Eevee decided it was time to cut to commercial, quickly flicking another switch, some "muzak" beginning to play. "We'll be right back after these messages, folks!" He exclaimed, quickly unplugging the microphone from the desk and hopping over to the Pokémon and the albino. "Pikachu! Lucario! How are you! And...who are YOU?" He asked White.

White helped Pikachu and Lucario up, folding his arms. "White." He said simply. "We need your help."

"...sigh." Eevee sat down on his rump, lowering his head and shaking it back and forth.

So much for the façade.

"...I've known for a while that there was SOMETHING off about everything. It was all too...perfect." He murmured. "Nobody insulting me for being gay. Nobody casting strange glances at me. Things were simple. Easy. But...but nobody remembered him either. Remembered the person who kept insisting that people like me should be treated well..."

He opened his eyes to look intently at them. "You remembered Nick?" He asked Pikachu.

"...when did you?" Pikachu asked.

"When I saw you." Eevee said. "I started remembering things..."

"_Good day to you!" Eevee said cheerily as he walked into the enormous garbage dump, as several dozen mammalian creatures with a skull for a helmet walked out, with armadillo-esque yellow Pokémon poking out of trash piles. Eevee had a small little yellow Pokemon on his back, a baby Sandshrew that hopped off and ran over to it's mother. "I found her in the woods. I imagine the poor dear wandered off from home?" _

"_Oh, yes." One of the skull-wearing Pokémon, a Cubone, said. "Thank you very much sir."_

_"You are very nice man." A feminine Sandslash said, it's long brown quills jutting down from it's yellow body, looking Eevee over. "Let me read your future. May I see your palm?"_

_Eevee blinked a few times, and nervously turned his paw over. "OOOOOOH!" The woman gasped._

_"What is it?" Eevee inquired, looking nervous._

_"Trouble!"_

_"Well if that's all you can see, I can tell YOUR fortune too!" Eevee wisecracked._

_"You must be careful, for if you are not, I see...somebody approaching. He does not mean you well. You know the one who will stand with him though...know him quite well. Ahhhh...and now..." The Sandslash passed a claw over his paw in a circle. "I see you becoming famous...I see many people cheering at the sight of your face, but...OHHH!" She gasped. "A terrible disaster! Oh, such sinister intent surrounding you!"_

_"Uh, well, I...think...I'll be fine." Eevee remarked nervously. "In any case, you all really should camp somewhere else, not this dump. It's unhealthy."_

_"Do you think we're living here because we LIKE it?" One Marowak snapped, waving a bony club in the air as he approached Eevee. "That bully Regigigas who protects the mountains around here refused to let us live anywhere else since we have a sick couple of children! Until somebody arrives with medicine, he won't let us leave!" _

"_Oh, for-" Eevee shook his head. "Inexcusable!" He snapped. "You're NOT staying here. Where's he living? He and I shall have words. HOT words!" _

_They all pointed up to a very large cave some miles away near the base of the mountain range. Eevee nodded at them all, taking off to head inside. It was not long before the darkness of the cave began to surround him._

_And then he heard a voice...two of them. One was-_

"PIKACHU!" Eevee gasped. "You were there! But...but that's all I remember." He told them. "I can't remember who the other voice belonged to. It was so...alien...to me..."

"We'll figure it out." White said. "But listen, there's some other Pokémon we need to track down. Do you think you could, say...host a contest? A contest in which certain specific winners will be picked?" He added, giving Eevee a wink.

"You mean you want me to violate my standards as a radio host to rig a contest just so I can pull certain Pokémon here to Saffron?" Eevee asked, looking mortified. "...okay!" He said cheerily. "I'll get back on right now!" He added, hopping back to the desk.

...

...

...

... "This entire place is disturbing." Nick muttered as he and Kirby made their way down the long, metallic hallways of the Phazon Mines. The floor was an ugly painted shade of red/brown, with thick wires and cables lining the walls, phazon peering out from the cracks behind it. There was a pulsing, throbbing sound filling Nick's ears, like the beating of a giant heart, and an enormous, long window to the right of the hall he and Kirby were in.

The window showed off an enormous cannon of some kind that had been long abandoned, used for mining purposes. It hung over an enormous pit, gray and silent, dead and unused for apparently years. Yet although everything in this place LOOKED dead, just by touching the walls and the tubes...

"Warm." Nick said softly. "All of this is being used, but...but they're trying to make it look as though they're NOT being used. This reeks of treachery." He told Kirby, who was moving his buster arm left and right, small black eyes narrowed intently.

"C'mon, you space pirate freaks. I'll take on all of you at once!" Kirby muttered angrily.

"Will you quit acting like a spaz!" Nick whispered. "SHH!"

"Sorry, sorry." Kirby murmured as he and Nick kept walking through the hallway, secretly humming "Secret Agent Man" in his head as he and Nick reached a very long, slanting railway heading down into dark recesses. Kirby pressed a button on the side of his visor, turning on "thermal vision". "...Nick." He whispered. "...I see space pirates down there...carrying a LOT of explosives."

"Really?" Nick whispered, carefully sticking to the side of the wall. "...listen, I have an idea. How many do you see?"

"Three."

"Okay, good, good. Can you curl up into a morph ball the way Samus can?" Nick asked.

"Uh...with this suit on, yeah." Kirby supposed. "...OH!" He then grinned. "I got it, I got it!" He quickly ran towards the railway, and then tucked into a ball.

**SFX: Bowling pins crash**

Nick calmly headed down to where Kirby was, several space pirates scattered all around a large room, dropped boxes of explosives lying nearby. Good thing they required a trigger to set off, Nick thought to himself as he looked them over. In fact, they kind of looked like the ones he and the others were planning-

Wait. His eyes widened. Suddenly he got it. "Kirby." He said quickly as Kirby dusted himself off. "If all of the explosives here on this planet are just like this, this is one big trap! They wanted to lure us here and-"

The sound of clicking gun barrels alerted him to the visible presence of a dozen space pirates who had all leveled their guns at him. "Hello." One said cheerily.

"...aw, dang." Nick groaned. "KIRBY, RUN!" He yelled, tossing himself at the space pirates as Kirby bolted. A slew of plasma bullets soared through the air, bouncing off the shield Nick had around him as he punched and kicked at them. "FIENDS! RUFFIANS! MONSTERS!" He roared as they all seemed to slowly retreat away from him, watching expectantly. "You'll never get away-"

Then THE shield finally gave out, just as a clawed fist smacked him hard across the head. Once...twice...

And down he went.

Meanwhile, a shot from a claw-like plasma cannon whizzed over Samus's head as she aimed her own arm cannon, firing off several rounds of plasma in the direction of the space pirates that were keeping her and Snizzi from going deeper into the mines. A SHUDDA-SHUDDA-SHUDDA sound echoed through the air as Samus fired over and over, Snizzi clenching his fist.

"Stand back, Samus, lemme give it a try!" He called out, pulsing purple toxicity sloughing off his three-digited hands. He quickly dove down the railway leading deeper into the depths, his hands held high as purplish blasts shot out rapid fire, slamming into the bodies of the firing space pirates, who were blown back.

"What the? You think we'll be stopped by THAT!" One of them said with clear amusement in it's voice. It seemed to have only had the wind knocked out of it as it and it's friends got back up...only to begin choking rapidly, purplish goo slowly seeping out of their mouths, their eyes rolling back in their heads.

"It's not the dart that kills you, it's what it's **loaded** with." Snizzi said calmly as he motioned for Samus to follow him. "Look at all of these explosives." He told Samus as they approached a large cache, Samus suddenly receiving a call from Galactic Federation HQ. "This whole place'll go up in one hell of a bang!" The imp said cheerily.

"Samus, come in, come in!" Erin's voice rang out from the communications channel Samus was listening to. "It's a trap! It's a-"

The sound of plasma fire. Samus's eyes widened in horror, then she turned to Snizzi. "Sir, we've walked right-"

"Into a trap? I would think so." A smug, cold voice spoke up as Samus and Snizzi turned to see a fat, balding reptilian beast standing there, small spikes jutting up from it's head and it's bloated stomach. "We meet again, Aran." It's gruff voice said, a sneer appearing on it's scaly features.

"...Kraid." Samus muttered.

"Oh bloody freakin' hell." Snizzi groaned. "The tubbaguts of the Space Pirates himself..."

"Just for that, I'm having your tail for dinner tonight." Kraid sneered. "I'm sure you were expecting some big, final battle, but that ain't happening. This is a trap. SEIZE THEM." He demanded as the Space Pirates surged forward, quickly burying Samus and Snizzi in a pile of armored, clawed bodies.

...

...

...

... "BACK! BACK, I say!" Link roared out, black bombs launching through the air towards the oncoming space pirates that were swarming the GF HQ, trying to launch wave after wave at the communications room. He had barely managed to get rid of the ones that had attempted to destroy the computer systems within thanks to Alex's help, but now he, Alex and Erin were pinned inside of the communications room. "We've got to escape from this horrible place!" He insisted.

"But how? There's no vents to sneak out from, there's space pirates blocking the only other entrance out..." Erin murmured. "...wait. Service entrances. There HAVE to be service entrances." She insisted, her fingers moving swiftly over the keyboard, a diagram of the headquarters appearing on the screen. "...yes! There's one that leads from here to the laboratories...and then another one in there that's hidden behind the generators that we can take to the spaceport!"

"Then I must go there." Link said, nodding firmly.

Alex and Erin gave him a glance like he was insane. "Link, are you serious!" Erin protested. "You can't go there! You've no idea how to fly a ship!"

"I've no idea how to work any of the technology here like you two do. But I know how to defeat enemies." He told them. "Even armored ones. You can take back the headquarters here, while I go to the Space Pirate homeworld save our friends! It's precisely because I have no technology that they will not be expecting me."

"That's...not...a bad idea." Erin realized. "You've not got any fancy suits or computerized weaponry. They wouldn't be able to track any sort of electrical signature like they've no doubt already done to our friends...and your unorthodox tactics, they might be just what we need to save the others. They'll be expecting guns a-blazing commandos...but not a swordsman who has stealth on his side."

"Precisely." Alex said to her in a calm voice, despite the absolute mayhem around them. "It's the same reason I get around with no one noticing, no technology to track."

"Alright. I'll direct you to the spaceport while Alex holds off the Space Pirates here."Erin decided. "Then we'll try and lead you towards their planet on the communications channel." She said, pulling out a small, circular earbud and placing it in Link's long ears. She then pulled adjusted the computer console to a certain frequency as Link tapped the ear bud. It felt so...alien to him.

"It responds to your thoughts. Think "broadcast channel 2.54." Erin explained.

Link concentrated on that channel as Erin whispered into a small microphone, though he could hear it in his head plain as day. "Can you hear me?"

"Absolutely ASTONISHING." He exclaimed. "I...I must say, some of the technology here is absolutely...I'm amazed!" He told them. "It's like magic!"

"Sort of." Erin admitted. "Now head to that service entrance and make your way straight down to the laboratory." Erin ordered him as Link quickly moved aside some large crates, finding a hidden opening in the floor. He opened it up, and began to descend down a long ladder as Alex took up a fighting position outside of the door, more Space Pirates rushing towards him.

Time for him to play a little "defense".

Running at the first one, he caught it with a flying side kick, catching it in the chest with both feet. It fell back like a bag of cement, instantly cracking its head against the ground with a KRUCHA-THWULK.

Alex then used its momentum to carry himself into a punch into another pirates face, before grabbing what he HOPED was hair and throwing it towards another slew of space pirates, knocking them down like bowling pins. As good as his fighting was, more and more pirates were pouring in, so he flipped back.

_"Thank a certain witch for this one..." _he reminded himself, before snapping his fingers. A torrent of blue fire rushed from him before plunging underground, only to resurface as a giant snarling dragon head, formed from the flames.

"Oh sh-" Several space pirates gasped as it surged over them, baking them. But then Alex heard the unmistakable whine of a very, very powerful plasma cannon and turned to see several Space Pirates holding up a tube-like cannon directly at him.

"How do you like your humans? Rare? Personally I prefer them WELL DONE!" The "leader" cackled, as a swirling red/blue beam of plasma energy rushed out towards Alex.

...

...

...

...Nick awoke to find himself, Samus and Snizzi all tied up, surrounded on all sides by heavily armed Space Pirates, facing down not only Kraid and an unmistakably grim-looking Ridley, but-

No. Not her. A dark, bluish-glowing figure that looked all too much like Samus. Clawed, gloved hands. A glowing visor. A smooth, armored body, with tiny veins of dark phazon visible...

Dark Samus. The glee coming off of her was so thick you could have cut it with a knife.

"How good to see you again." She commented, looking upon them all. "I'm surprised you're still alive, human." She told Nick. "I had thought, with your luck, you would have slipped on a meteorite and broken your neck. But yet, to find you here..." She rubbed her "chin". "Quite the stroke of luck, actually. Our sensors didn't detect an ounce of advanced technology on you, yet you seem able to replicate the protective measures of an advanced Varia suit like that my loathsome copy wears."

"...and you want to know how I did it." Nick stated. Of course. Anything to give the Space Pirates another edge over "inferior" species. He was both glad that villains always had to pump their victims for information and yet simultaneously annoyed. It was so, so OLD.

He was too young for this, he really was. Most kids his age had to worry about whether they should have sex for the first time. What their next exam was going to be about. What kind of car they wanted to ask for their birthday.

Not for him! For him it was "Who's going to be the next person to stick me in a pit and ask me to put lotion on my skin"!

"Indeed. Tell me what it is so I won't need to have these men indulge in their...darker sides."Dark Samus inquired. "Since Mother Brain is tragically not available to witness your destruction, I'll have to have my men videotape it all. No doubt she'll be quite pleased with what she finds. But I tell me what I wish to know, I'll go easy on you. I can be merciful...at times..." She said softly.

"...fairy dust." Nick commented coldly. "Magic fairy dust from Oompah-Loompah Land."

BA-BAM! A punch across the face from Kraid. "Quit the jokes!"

"Hmph. I see you'd rather be my enemy. But even if you wish to die, you still have to tell me your secret before you can." She said coldly. "With a power like yours, I could use it to-"

"Take over the galaxy?" Nick remarked, some blood dribbling down his chin.

**"Of course!"** Dark Samus laughed.

"I've been around Mr. Grey here for some time." Snizzi said calmly, getting the attention of the others. They all peered eagerly at him. "I'm telling you now...it's fairy dust."

HE was now punched in the face as Dark Samus turned to her "loathsome copy". "Are you going to be a good girl and talk...or am I going to have to torture your friends in front of you to get you to talk?" She inquired.

Samus's eyes were cold stones. "They're not my "friends". And even if they were, that wouldn't get me to talk."

_**"Bum-bum-bum-YOU'RE AS COLD AS ICE!"**_ Nick sang out harshly at Samus.

And that's when things got...weird.


	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER TEN**

"Hello, hello, welcome back to the show. You know, from time to time, we like to do little contests to perk all of you, my dear listeners, right up. I know how boring it can be, folks. Wake up, send the kids off to school, 9-5 job, all the usual humdrum." Eevee said, lifting his microphone up slightly, walking back and forth in front of his desk as White, Pikachu and Lucario stood nearby, eagerly waiting. "So here's a little something to spice up your life. I've got with me a list of random names selected from the Census. I'll be picking one name from that list every day. They'll get a chance to come right here to Saffron City, all expenses paid, to win an amazing mystery prize!"

Mew, tuning in on her own radio at the Legendary HQ, blinked a few times. "Oooooh!" She cooed, clapping her paws together. "Hey, Mewtwo! Quick, quick, come listen!"

"Can it not wait? I was reading "A Treatise on Government"..." Mewtwo murmured, floating into the room as Mew turned up the volume on the radio.

"Would my assistant be so kind as to tell me who today's lucky winner is?" Eevee's voice rang out over the radio.

Wait. His voice. There was a new, more chipper tone to it. Something was in it that had not been there before. Mewtwo frowned slightly. What was-

"Hai. It is...Pidgeot of Celadon City, who lives in apartment B-21."

Mewtwo's eyes widened. That voice. He recognized it anywhere.

"Mew, I'm heading off to Saffron City." Mewtwo announced as he quickly made for the door. "Inform the other Legendaries that I shall not be able to make the meeting tonight. I've got to catch a-"

"Hold on, big guy, not so fast." Mew insisted, shaking a paw in the air, whisking towards Mewtwo and dragging him back. "You can't go! Tonight's "that" night, remember?"

"But-but-I-I...I've...I need to..." Mewtwo stuttered.

Oh no. Oh NO. Not tonight. Anytime but tonight...

"Oh, you know you'll enjoy it, you always do." Mew laughed, whacking him on the shoulder. "Now come on. Let's get going." She said, tugging him through a doorway as Mewtwo nervously gulped.

Meanwhile, a large, bird-like Pokémon held one wing to her pinkish beak, grinning broadly. "Oh my-I...I can't believe...oh, HEEEELLLLLZ YEAAAH!" She cheered, jumping up and down. "Who dah man? **I** dah man!" She called out, the orange and yellow feathers on her head-crest bouncing up and down. She took off the sunglasses she had, showing off the black markings around her eyes, looking herself over in the mirror.

"Hmm." She mumbled, looking over her dark tan underbelly. "I need to lose a couple pounds..." She thought out loud. "...ah, whatever. They don't like it, they can kiss my big, fat, black butt." She smacked it loudly, the loud "WHACK" noise ringing through the air, bringing a delighted smile to her face.

There came a knock at the door and she opened it up...White standing before her, grinning broadly.

"Hello. I'm here to take you to Saffron City."

A **human**?

"What...the..."

Her next word was unsuitable for print.

...

...

...

...meanwhile, the Space Pirates that had been holding Samus, Nick and Snizzi hostage had just found out the hard way that they did NOT handle the cold very well. Every single one of them was now submerged in an thick sheen of ice, enormous icicles jutting up from the ground, the entire room frosted over, everything now 100 degrees colder.

"It's so-so-so-so c-c-c-cold..." Nick stuttered, shivering madly, clutching himself, his teeth chattering madly.

"Well next time, THINK before you open your mouth to sing, Mr. Grey." Samus said, shaking her head, grateful that her helmet kept her smug smile from being seen...and grateful that her suit auto-regulated her temperature.

"Wh-why are-aren't you fuh-fuh-fuh-freezing?" Nick groaned at Snizzi as he staggered out the door past a frozen-alive Kraid, who a tongue sticking out...stuck to the icicle he was trapped inside. Ridley, standing nearby, his legs frozen and his arms frosted over, was trying not to laugh at the ridiculous sight around him as Dark Samus also stood frozen, still trapped in her chair.

"There's an entire hell devoted to Traitors that's colder than a freezer in the middle of a playground in a Minnesota Winter." Snizzi said calmly. "...also, it's the gloves. They're really nice gloves." He added, holding up his gloved hands. "Here, feel." He said, putting one hand on Nick's cheek. "Feeeeeel."

"...yeah, th-they're...really w-warm...you can stop feeling my face now..." Nick murmured.

"You feel BEAUTIFUL." Snizzi whispered.

"Whuh-what?"

"Nothing. Nothing. Let's get going!" Snizzi commented cheerily as they exited the room, heading through an enormous hall...with an even more enormous pit located in the middle. A tremendously large cannon of some kind hung over their heads. At one point it had been used to drill through the ground to find valuable minerals, but now it-

Wait. It was ACTIVE. It had been booted up and flashing blue lights lined up and down the futuristic drill cannon, as unmistakable, horrifying laughter filled the air. They whipped around, seeing Dark Samus standing there, lowering her hand from a control panel hidden in one of her arms.

"Don't get me wrong, you've been a nuisance, but now it ends. I suppose the saying is quite true. If you want something done right, you do it yourself." She commented coldly, holding up her clawed fist and clenching it.

Samus took up a fighting position as Nick and Snizzi turned their heads to look at each other. It was then that Nick noticed that somebody was sitting atop of one of the large cables that were connecting the cannon to the wall...a very large power cable. And it was not just ANYBODY somebody.

"KIRBY!" Nick gasped as Kirby, holding his still-copied-from-Samus buster arm up, brought it down hard, causing the power cable to spark and disconnect. He went tumbling down towards Dark Samus, firing off a round of plasma shots at her, making her jump backwards. He landed by Samus, bouncing back to his feet as he turned to her.

"I think we can take her." He told her.

Samus nodded, holding up her buster arm and saluting. The two turned to face Dark Samus, who held up a hand. Dark, pulsing blue light erupted from her hand, followed by a harsh torrent of Dark Phazon which rushed forth to envelop the two. Kirby and Samus quickly dove off in different directions as Nick and Snizzi ran around to the other end of the pit.

...

...

...

... some time before the "ice incident", Link had finally made his way to a spaceship and Erin began to instruct him of what he needed to do. Understandably, he found the controls...odd.

"This is...hmm." Link frowned slightly, looking down at the millions of blinking lights and buttons. Which one of them was he supposed to use?

"Erin!" Alex's voice called out. "I do not mean to rush you, but...GET OFF MY HEAD-hurry up!"

"Right, sorry, sorry." Erin apologized over the intercom. "Okay, Link. Look for the thing that looks like it's a circle."

"A...circle?" Link asked, scanning over the control console, sitting in the plushy black leather captain's chair.

"Yes. A circle. A circle placed within what looks like a big red slab. To me, it'll look like a cupholder. Do you know what a cupholder is?"

"...eh?"

"Look for the red slab with a circle cut out of it." Erin decided.

Link noticed a small red slab partially sticking out of one part of the panel, pulling it out. Sure enough, there was a circle space in the middle of it. "Found it." He informed Erin, the earbud vibrating slightly in his ear.

"Good. Grip it firmly. That's your central control. Now you just need to place a control mechanism...something that looks like a glowy stick thingy with a red dot at the end. You stick that into the circle, it should do the rest." Erin went on.

"How?"

"It'll synchronize with your thoughts and move the ship the way you want it to move."

Link looked around the cabin, frowning. No, there was no "glowy stick thingy"...

Wait.

He stood up, looking back at the seat he'd sat down in.

"...I kind of...broke it." He said nervously. "I sat on it."

"...oh fuddy-duddy." Erin mumbled.

"Wait. What if..." Link murmured. "You said this thing would "synchronize" with my thoughts...think as I do...I HAVE something that thinks as I do..."

He held his hand up, the Triforce glowing brightly, and he grabbed ahold of the steering slab. The Triforce began to violently hum, and suddenly a golden light washed over the entire console as a sudden, surprising change came over it. Now there was a large pedestal clearly visible in the center, and Link quickly deposited his sword within it, gripping the handle tightly.

At the moment he thought of the ship leaving the docking bay, it soared out into the expanses of space, and he broadly smiled. Just what he'd been hoping for.

"I'm out of the dock." He told Erin. "I'm...I'm going through space." He whispered, looking around at the passing stars. It was all so serene, so...so peaceful and sacrosanct. "...I used to dream about one day seeing the stars up close." He murmured, reaching out with his gloved hand, brushing against the screen.

So close. It was like he could reach out and pull them into his hand...

And so **beautiful**...

"I don't mean to rain on your parade, but we're kind of in the middle of fighting for our lives here." Erin apologized. "Have the ship engage the Hyperdrive and head to the coordinates I read out to you..."

Alex took up a fighting position, facing down a particularly large-looking Space Pirate, who held up two wicked-looking plasma scimitars that were jutting out from a region above his wrist.

"Prepare to meet your end, human! I've hunted your kind before...and I'll be gnawing on your bones tonight!" It crowed proudly, banging the scimitars together, drawing a shower of energy sparks.

Alex smiled. "Ooooh, **sparkly**!" he said as his face split into a grin. Electricity began to wind around his arms.

"I hope for your sake those aren't for show." He told the pirate, rushing forward at him, the two of them grappling for a moment, the pirate sneering angrily, shoving Alex back a few feet before Alex shoved HIM back a few feet.

"We...ergh...seem...evenly...matched..." The space pirate muttered hatefully, as if it physically hurt him to admit that he wasn't winning. And in a way, it kind of WAS.

"And God forbid the fact my immortality is no longer present..." Alex mumbled to himself, forcing the pirate around in a circle, now HE was standing where the pirate had been.

"What was-"

BUDDA-POW!

Erin lowered the very large pipe she'd ripped out of the wall and panted, wiping her brow. "PHEW. Link, how do you HOLD those swords of yours? I'm just using a pipe, they're friggin' heavy!"

The space pirate gurgled slightly, lying flat on his face on the ground below, still slightly conscious.

Alex allowed the lightning to recede from him. "Nice shot beautiful." he said, giving her a thumbs up.

...

...

...

...meanwhile, Samus and Kirby were circling around Dark Samus, as the sinister doppelganger launched wave after wave of Dark Phazon at them. It was turning into a fairly predictable pattern, luckily. She would fire upon them, they would double jump up into the air, or in Kirby's case, puff himself up several times, and then rush forward, coming a little bit closer.

It wasn't long before they were within arm's reach of Dark Samus, the two of them quickly striking out at her. Her clawed hands grappled with their buster arms as they growled and grunted, trying to force Dark Samus to her knees.

"Pests." She muttered, tossing them backwards, her clawed fingers twitching as she struck down into the ground, an enormous, pulsing shockwave of Dark Phazon energy rising up around her body, threatening to impale her two foes.

"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Kirby laughed gleefully, jumping away, backflipping to safety and smirking, HIS facemask not covering his mouth as he held up his buster and fired off a rapid series of plasma blasts.

Dark Samus was suddenly in his face, pinning him to the ground as she held up one hand, a disgusting, foul-looking mouth opening up upon the palm, a serpentine tongue swaying back and forth as she sneered behind her visor. "Pucker up, buttercup." She whispered darkly.

There was a loud roar and Dark Samus was suddenly blown off of Kirby as Samus, her "inferior" copy, lowered her buster arm as it smoked visibly from it's barrel. "Remember Kirby, when you're not firing, always charge your buster." She informed him.

"Hmm. Thank you for reminding me!" Dark Samus whispered coldly, her voice like black ice as she rose into the air, brightly shining with foul light as powerful shockwaves slowly rippled out from her body, a circular dome of energy surrounding her form. She held up her clawed hands, the energy slowly beginning to form into an enormous circular point at the top of her palms.

"Stop her, quick!" Samus called out, firing off her plasma buster as Kirby did the same, unloading his buster at Dark Samus. But it didn't seem to be enough. Dark Samus tossed the enormous circular ball of energy at them and they didn't dodge fast enough...the two of them were launched backwards through the air.

"Uggggghhh...somebody please...please get the license plate of the truck that hit me..." Kirby moaned, his copied ability fading away as Samus slowly staggered back to her feet, Dark Samus hovering towards them.

"It's a good attempt, really. But you didn't stand a chance." Dark Samus said calmly as she hovered over the pit towards them. "It's actually a testament to my power how I'm able to speak to you-"

"How do I operate this thing?" Link asked Erin...or rather, was ABOUT to ask. "...nevermind. No time. By the Goddesses, let this **WORK**!" He prayed, tugging down on the biggest, most fancy-looking lever he could find, a string of lights lighting up by the control panel he was standing at, looking out the window as the digger cannon roared to life, letting out a groaning hum, making Dark Samus look up.

Though they couldn't see the look on her face, Samus could imagine a look of horror spreading across Dark Samus's face, a look that was no doubt quickly changed to one of indescribable pain as pulsing orange/yellow energy slammed hard into Dark Samus from the cannon far above, driving her down into the pit. She faded down into the inky blackness below, screaming and howling in pain as Samus and Kirby waited...waited...

No sound of her hitting the bottom. She'd be falling for a long...long...time.

"Perhaps there is something to be said for the power of prayer?" Nick mused as he quickly ran towards Link, hugging him tightly as Snizzi nodded in approval. "You WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL person you! You're absolutely amazing!"

"Oh, really, it wasn't anything." Link insisted nervously, a visible blush on his face. "It was just the luck of the Goddesses smiling upon me...though I greatly appreciate your kind words."

"Well, Dark Samus may be gone, but I am not satisfied with that. I'm not taking any chances." Snizzi insisted as Samus and Kirby made their way up to where they were. "We're still going to blow this whole planet to Kingdom Come. I don't want to just walk away and declare this a victory until the only thing left of this planet is SCRAPS."

...

...

...

... "Here, here." Mew laughed, tugging Mewtwo into the darkened rom.

"Really, there's no need for-" Mewtwo nervously insisted.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAAY!" All of the Legendaries shouted happily, the lights of the room flooding on to reveal each of the Legendaries had been hiding in the little grotto room. The waterfall was gently trickling what appeared to be WINE now, and there was an enormous table loaded to the brim with various finely-wrapped presents...okay, not ALL were finely wrapped, but it was the thought that counts.

In addition to the wine, there was a circular table with several bowls of different kinds of snacks and the like, most noticeably...little hotdog weenies. Mewtwo had a place in his heart for little cocktail weenies. He tried to recomopose himself, taking one in his paws and putting it in his mouth, pulling out the tiny little birthday-cake-ended toothpick out as he slowly chewed, the other Legendaries all smiling at him.

"You always put up such a struggle. Why are you so ashamed about getting old?" Jirachu laughed, twirling around on his butt as he sat on the far end of the circular table near what was obviously a birthday cake...shaped like Mewtwo's head.

If Mewtwo was a "chibi". His eyes were too big and starry, his features exaggerated...

Ah, but it was the thought that counts. Lugia took a carving knife and held it up above the cake. "Would you like us to serve the cake now, or later?"

"Er...whichever makes you all comfortable." Mewtwo decided.

No matter how many times it happened, he always felt so strange about celebrating his birthday. It had been about 72 years since he'd been made, but it wasn't growing old that bothered him. It was...this. The balloons tied to the chairs. The streamers overhead. The wine he now tasted as he took a cup and scooped it out from the waterfall. The cake that was soon to be served.

It was...the sociality. He always felt so uncomfortable around others, even when they were celebrating HIM. And it bothered him. He should be happy, he KNEW he should be happy about things like this, and yet...

Why was he not happy?

It wasn't bad. It really wasn't, he thought to himself as Mew handed him a slice of cake that was almost as big as her fraternal grin. It just didn't have that "special" feel it ought to have had. Something was missing.

But what?

As the party went on, Mewtwo moved out onto the natural balcony at the far end of a hallway that was connected to the grotto, folding his arms and looking up into the night sky.

What was missing? What?

Was he still being bothered about those prisoners escaping? About Pikachu assisting Eevee?

That was odd. Why would Pikachu assist that radio host? They didn't-

...didn't know...didn't know each-didn't...

_He sat inside of his room, calmly examining the tome he had within his paws, slowly turning the pages one at a time. There were few things more enjoyable than being able to relax at home with a good book. _

_He wondered what his old friends were up to. They'd gotten requests, naturally, but those days were behind him. No, he was retired now. Just him and his memories. This was all he needed. _

_Though, he thought, it would be good to call them up again. See what they were up to._

_He took off his reading glasses, stretching slightly, letting out a long yawn as his arms and legs fully stretched out as he flopped onto the floor to stretch like the cat he was. Nervously blushing at this momentary lapse, he placed his copy of "The Leviathan" on top of a copy of "The Prince". He was still trying to find a political philosophy that he found satisfactory. _

_Moving to the cellphone by his bed, he picked it up, dialing as best he could. It was slightly annoying how small the buttons were in comparison to his fairly large balled paws, but he'd paid 200 dollars for this phone and he was going to USE it, damn it all. _

_It was then that he felt something. Something prickling at the back of his head. He frowned, putting the cell phone down. Somebody was at the front door. Why had he not sensed them approaching sooner? How odd..._

_He opened up the door, eyes widening. Pikachu? Eevee? What in-_

_Wait, who was that-_

"_YOU. But...but how? Nobody should be able to-"_

"_Your kind. You're so...anthrocentric. You think because of your abilities nobody's better than you. Well... an ant with the best of intentions is still an ant. And it doesn't matter how harshly it bites, either..."_

Mewtwo's eyes slowly widened, his pupils turning into pinpricks. His mouth opened slowly, then closed to a horrified, silent "no" as his hands were raised to cover his mouth, a shuddering terror filling him.

No, no, no, no, NO...

It...no, this couldn't be fake. This couldn't...

He...he was...

"Mewtwo? Are you okay?" Mew's voice called out from the end of the hallway. "You look cold."

Mewtwo summoned up all of his courage and tried to squelch his indescribable terror. "I'm just getting some air, I'll be right back in momentarily."

"Okaaaay!" Mew called back, heading back to the party as Mewtwo bowed his head, tightly gripping the railing of the balcony, gripping so tightly his paws almost crumpled the railing into pieces.

It wasn't possible. It shouldn't have happened. Not to him. He'd always been...

But the evidence was something he could not ignore.

He had been living a lie. All of this...a monstrous falsehood.

"Can this even be altered?" He thought to himself. "The bomb has already gone off. This is more like containing the damage than cutting through the red wire...and...and aren't I happy here? Can I not just go on living like this?"

_It's dishonest._

"It's practical."

_You'd never be able to live with yourself._

"I was living fairly well until I found this knowledge lurking in my-"

_Ignorance is bliss._

"But perhaps, just this once, being ignorant may be preferable to being informed..."

_You don't believe that._

And it was true. He knew it wasn't logical to believe in something he knew to be untrue.

...but it would be nice to pretend...wouldn't it?

...

...

...

... "It's all loaded up." Snizzi said cheerily, putting the finishing touches upon the explosive charges, stepping back. "We've got enough here to blow three of these planets to smithereens!" The imp informed them all, tail swishing back and forth happily like a cat that was being scratched in just the right place.

"But what about the other Space Pirates?" Kirby inquired. "They're all stuck in that ice still."

"Ah, it probably melted by now." Samus said dismissively. "Come on, Nick said he was going to meet us at the ship with Link, they should have gotten it ready by now." She commented, heading out the door of the room they were in, Snizzi following after, a nervous Kirby following him.

In reality, Link was standing in the center of the icy room, Nick standing near him. Holding up his palm above his head, he concentrated, calling on the innate power lying dormant in the Triforce. Remember...remember...

"Din's Fire!" He called out, slamming his palm into the ground, crouching down as Nick followed suit. A moment later a rushing, dome-shaped wall of flame roared up around him, swiftly spreading across the room, melting the ice away, the Space Pirates dusting themselves off, looking at Link and Nick in confusion, Kraid muttering angrily under his breath as Ridley simply stared, his face unreadable.

"Why." One of the pirate asked.

"Thank HIM for this." Link said, pointing at Nick. "It twas his suggestion."

"I can't leave you to die with this planet. I'm giving you a chance to leave. Go away. Stop hurting people. Find something better to do with your lives. Or we'll track you down and do this all over again...and that time...I won't be there to talk someone out of leaving you to rot." Nick told them softly.

Ridley turned to them. "Move. We're out of here." He barked out, the Space Pirates trailing quickly out of the door, Kraid following behind them as Ridley turned to Nick. "You have dishonored me by doing this...accepting the mercy of an enemy."

"I don't care, as long as you get to live." Nick said. "In doing this, I'm upholding MY honor, Ridley. You can respect that, can't you?"

Ridley gave Nick a wry, dark smile. "Well...I'll be seeing you, then..."Captain"." He spoke softly, leaving the room as Link and Nick headed out, exiting through another doorway, heading back up to the front entrance of the cave.

"...Nick..." Link spoke solemnly. "I hope you don't regret doing what you suggested we do. I truly do not."

"Do you think we should have done something else?" Nick asked.

"No, no, I shall not judge. Not so long ago, I called you a "monster" simply because you were different in appearance and culture from me...because of prophecy. Yet I must learn to open my mind and my heart if I am to be a hero worthy of the Triforce."

"I admit it, Link, I was...kind of...scared." Nick said softly as they finally reached the entrance of the cave, a wind ruffling through their hair. "I was worried that they were going to attack. But I guess it seems silly...I mean, I could probably just magic them away with a song..."

"Things that seem silly at first can be of real alarm in different situations." Link told him sympathetically. "Once, when I was younger and out in the forest, I went fishing in a canoe upon a pond. My father had told me I should never stand within the canoe, for I would fall into the water. I'd laughed at that, saying it would never happen. I said it was silly to imagine something such as that. Yet one day..."

Suddenly Link's voice became...quieter. A nervous lok passed over his face. "If I were to pick a moment in time...that moment when I tipped over...and water, instead of air, flooded through my lungs...that would be the most frightening." He whispered.

"...I'm sorry." Nick said. "I didn't know."

"My mother saved me, ironically. She had followed me there. Since then I was always much more careful." Link added as they approached the ship. "Do not worry. Being afraid is nothing to be shamed for. To be without fear is not to have courage. To be afraid, yet to face what you fear with a keen mind and a noble heart...THAT is having courage."

"...I like talking with you." Nick admitted. "I don't get to do this as often as I'd like."

"You're most welcome."

...

...

...

...it wasn't long before they had all arrived back at the Galactic Federation, with a large pile of tied-up, incarcerated Space Pirates deposited nearby, Erin and Alex standing proudly in salute as Snizzi nodded firmly, several dozen LOYAL troops moving the traitors and the spies off to jail. Leading them to his office, Snizzi clasped his hands together, rubbing them eagerly.

"I am very, very proud of all of you! You've done a great service to the Galactic Federation. And, true to my word, you'll have access to the portal technology you want. And, for you, Alex...a full pardon." Snizzi said, nodding at the brown-haired Briton. "If you could step forward?" He asked, motioning for Alex to move forward.

And so Alex did!... but not before leaving two large molten spots on the metal floorwork, courtesy of his pyrokinesis.

"Yes, oh small and mighty one?" Alex inquired with a small smile.

"Heh. Show-off. You remind me of my sweetie." Erin giggled as Snizzi held up a stack of papers with his official seal upon it.

"These papers grant you a full pardon. But I need you to sign your name in blood right here." Snizzi said, using his tail to point at a spot near the bottom.

Alex calmly slit one finger upon the end of the bladed tail, signing his name upon the document. A moment later, the letters all glowed brightly, a blend of orange and blue and red before finally the entire sheet of papers rolled up like a traditional scroll, and Snizzi caught it in the palm of his hand.

"Remember when I said that all I had to do was fill out a form to gain control over the Galactic Federation? Well it helps that I moved my "territory" to here." He explained. "I've got total control over the Headquarters and all that goes on in here...at least, in regards to the building and the nonliving things."

"Territory?" Samus inquired, seeming confused.

"There are beings of great, great power in this universe." Snizzi said softly. "And they were chosen to act as...stewards, of a sort. They have power over their "territory", they are capable of controlling reality to an extent within a certain realm. The Goddesses, for example. Their "territory" can be seen in Hyrule, most visibly in the places where they currently reside."

"No wonder they could introduce all of those things to the different races." Nick murmured.

"And I? I was given this power because I'm just a charming individual..." Snizzi remarked. "I mean, who could say "no" to this face?" He told them, giving them a "Bambi" look with big Doe eyes.

"...just...lead us to the laboratory." Samus mumbled.

Soon, they were stationed in front of an enormous, circular device that had a dimensional control console attached to it, hovering in the air slightly, propelled by anti-gravity lifts. A group of scientists added the final touches to the controls as Snizzi nodded firmly at them. "Where will you be going? We'll need a "dimensional frequency" to hone in on. A path for you to follow that'll lead you to a specific location."

"We need to track down White. He's in the world of Pokémon." Nick announced. "Though I'm not sure what the dimensional frequency would be...wait." He snapped his fingers. "What if I had something FROM that dimension? Would you be able to glean the frequency from here?"

"Of course! There would be traces of the dimension where it came from lingering on what you'd show us." A scientist insisted as Nick reached into his backpack, pulling out what appeared to be a psychological journal filled with entries on various Pokémon. Scanning it over with what looked like a large magnifying glass of some kind, the scientist then nodded firmly, turning to his fellow brainiacs. "Input the coordinates M-1-SS-1-N-6-0." He informed them.

The machine roared to life shortly after, a shimmering, glittering veil of light separating them...from an entirely different realm of existence.

"Be careful." Snizzi informed them all. "Especially you, Nick." He told his best beloved.

The others headed through the veil...

And found themselves immediately surrounded on all sides by a very, **very** angry tribe of Smeargle.

"Ha-HA! I knew it! Big Chief Black Sachem has big heap wisdom indeed! He's caught MORE humans seeking to steal our hunting grounds!"

"...**aw, dang**." Nick moaned.


	11. Chapter 11

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

"You sure you don't want a drink to settle down?" White inquired of Pidgeot as she sat in a chair, Eevee and Lucario sitting nearby. She was very pale, her eyes wide, looking beyond the roof and far beyond the horizon at some unknown point.

"...nope. No. Fine. Just. Fine." She muttered out, still looking at that far-off point. "...has...everyone's memories...been altered?"

"Apparently." Eevee said. "Hey, cheer up, sweetie, we ALL got suckered in." Eevee admitted, nonchalantly sipping on some coffee.

"To think that this is something so...far-reachin'. It ain't RIGHT!" She finally said furiously, slapping her enormous wing on the desk she was sitting by as Eevee nodded sagely, Pikachu folding his arms as he stood by Lucario and White. "...the Legendaries. They're the ones to gain from alla this."

"So it would seem. They have the entire Pokémon world following them. They seem to be the ones we'll need to defeat if we want to get answers." Pikachu admitted.

"I just hope that Nick and the others will get here soon. It would be boring not facin' them all down without seeing them joinin' in the rumble." White laughed.

And where indeed WAS Nick and the others?

"There goes the sentry. Every three minutes...like clockwork." Nick muttered as he and the others hid in a series of trees, waiting for the Smeargle sentry scout to move away. They ducked their heads back into the leaves as it looked around, frowned angrily, then slunk off again.

"I'm getting really tired of putting up with these annoying things." Erin said. "Can't we just, I dunno, beat them up?" She asked.

"I dunno. I think it would be cruelty to animals. I wouldn't feel right about kicking the crap out of a dog." Nick said, shaking his head.

Samus gave Nick a look like he was immensely idiotic. "These things talk. They have a culture. Furthermore, they are trying to put our heads on spikes so as to send warnings to others about what happens if any fool enters their territory! We should not "baby" them."

"Okay, fine, if you're so keen, then you go ahead and take care of them." Alex said, folding his arms as he leaned against a branch.

"I would, but I want to conserve my suit's energy for more important foes. These are grunts. I'd barely want to even waste a punch on them." Samus said simply.

"Well, perhaps I should do it." Link said. "Somebody ought to." He then hopped down from the tree and headed off in the direction of the encampment that they'd managed to escape from. Nick calmly waited, counting off in his head. One...two...three...four...five...

To his surprise, a few minutes later Link came back looking very pleased. They all blinked. No hatchet sticking out of him...no arrows...his scalp was intact...

"How'd you do it?" Nick wanted to know.

"If you MUST know, I simply explained to them that we were people from another world trying to fight off evils that had taken control of other realms. They believed me." Link said simply.

"I guess the outfit KINDA makes you look like something other than human." Erin said.

"No, they believed me because the chief said "My eyes did not lie"." Link said. "But he told me that we should be careful."

"Careful of what?"

"He told us that if we wanted to get somewhere, we should enlist the help of the Legendary Pokémon Shaymin. He lives in a large grove of flowers across the valley to the east, guarded by a powerful Pokémon, but that's not what we should be worried about. Apparently, there is another tribe who makes it's home near those lands, and they are quite violent and fierce." Link said.

"Well we're pretty violent too." Alex wisecracked. "Let's get moving!"

"Okay, but remember, we need to think like these people. Let's go barefoot, and keep QUIET." Samus said firmly. "We'll sleep early tonight, then wake up early in the morning just like they would..."

"And sleep in those caves coming up?" Erin said, pointing at a series of caves that were visible inside of some hills approaching their view as they walked along the valley.

"Let's examine them and see if there's anybody inside first." Link suggested as they approached the caves within the hillsides. They appeared to be naturally-made caves, and there were no traces that people had been living inside. No remnants of fires, no drawings on the walls, nothing left behind in the hallways connecting the caves...nothing but dirt.

So they would spend the night there.

Yeah. No POSSIBLE way this could have gone wrong.

...

...

...

... "Alrighty, and welcome to the dawnin' of a brand new day! Would our latest winner be so kind as to tell me who **today's** lucky winner is?" Eevee's voice rang out over the radio as Mew eagerly clapped her little paws together. Mewtwo sat near her, sipping on a nice cappuccino as Lugia also sat nearby with Ho-Oh and Celebi, all of them listening in on Eevee's radio program as well.

"You got it, hon. It's none other than Ms. Butterfree from Cerulean City's Fields! Ooh, she's gonna be so **excited** to see ya!"

"_Pidgeot. So it truly is you."_ Mewtwo thought to himself, an amused expression flickering across his face. _"This means that they truly are gathering us all together...to awaken the truth, perhaps?"_

Lugia tossed an intense glare his way, eyes narrowing. He had HEARD that thought. He had been focusing in on Mewtwo's brain this whole time, and now had been rewarded. "Mewtwo, meet me in my sanctuary. I need to disuss something with you. IMMEDIATELY." He said firmly, darkly.

Mewtwo blinked as Lugia calmly headed out the doorway, but nonchalantly took a final sip of his coffee before putting it down on the table, heading after Lugia. He headed through the long hallway and into an enormous set of double doors, where Lugia was sitting atop of a stone structure in the middle of an enormous hilly area that was surrounded by a moat of water. Flowers lined up and down the structure, with light pouring in from a crystal above, filtered in from the sun outside the cave.

"Yes?" Mewtwo began. "Did you wish to speak to me about some dilemma?"

"You "remember", Mewtwo. I sensed it in your mind." Lugia said. "If you truly remember, then you KNOW what will happen if they all remember...they will make bring our world crashing down! We're able to provide for all Pokémon here because there are no humans interfering, if the viel is shattered, all is ruined!" Lugia said solemnly. "You know what will happen if something isn't done about this."

"Very well." Mewtwo said softly. "Do you want me to take care of things personally?"

"It's not me that wants you to do it. It's Arceus. He has sent me a psychic message. He's coming back here tomorrow." Lugia said quietly.

"...**WHAT?**" Mewtwo gasped in horror. "He's...he's coming back here?" He frowned, folding his arms, brow furrowed. "...I suppose there's no helping this. If you want something done right..."

Mewtwo snapped his "fingers", vanishing from the area as Lugia bowed his head, frowning deeply.

"...forgive me." He thought out loud sadly, mournfully. "But I'm not doing this out of cruelty. I just...can't...it would be better if you died not knowing the truth. Maybe one day you could forgive us, but we can't let you remember...Nick."

Meanwhile, a pair of eyes blazed powerfully in the depths of space as he made his way towards his goal, red pupils blazing powerfully, moving gracefully as he strode past star after star. It was only a matter of time...only a matter of time before he reached his creation.

Hopefully, by then, the "problem" would be "resolved". The "obstacle" would be "removed".

The "remnant" would be dead...and all evidence would be gone with him.

...

...

...

...Nick let out a long, loud yawn as he blinked, moving to rub the sleep from his eyes...only to find that his arms and legs were...kind of stretched out. And not by choice.

He'd been tied to four different pale horse-like creatures with flames for manes, and burning-red eyes who were all looking back at him. Ponytas. Super fast buggers. Lovely!

And, sadly, Link, Samus, Alex and Erin were captured, surrounded on all sides by dozens upon dozens of grass-type Pokémon. Bulbasaurs, Cacneas, Turtwig, Chikoritas and, most noticeably of all, many, MANY Treecko.

"Aw dang." Nick moaned nervously. "This is gonna huuuurt."

There was an enormous Leafeon, a yellowish/tan creature with an enormous leaf at the tip of its tail, mammalian features and a "frond" of leaves resting atop her head at the center of the grass-types, earing a necklace made of feathers that had been dipped in various kinds of paint.

"_Nice goin' Nick. Picking the very caves these guys must use ALL THE TIME, apparently!"_ Nick thought to himself.

"Maki ma! Howai hana-jekah, apee jichawa?" The Leafeon, the obvious leader, asked a young Treecko, who bowed his head. (_How could you let these five sneak into our cave?_)

"Cho-wah, hapich-kawo. Eeyah-nokami." The Treeko said. (_I am afraid I fell asleep on my way back home. I sincerely apologize, dear chief._)

"Uh...I suppose I can try and talk to them?" Link said to the others.

"Let me try this time." Samus said firmly. She clasped her hands together, (luckily, none of them were tied up) beginning to use hand signs and weaving motions before she finally ended with a beating of the chest and a bow.

"You want to shave my butt and go dancing naked with my grandma?" The Leafeon asked in a thick accent.

"…you speak **English**." Samus remarked stonily as Alex began laughing. She tossed him a glare. "We wish to travel east, to the land of the rising sun so as to find Shaymin to aid us in our quest to find our friend."

"Spare me the euphemisms. I know which way east is." The Leafeon said with a condescending air. "OY!" She turned to the others. "They say they are going EAST! To SHAYMIN!"

All of the grass-types looked at each other...then bowed deeply. Nick blinked in surprise as the Ponytas looked at him, then at the bowing grass-types. "Eh?" One asked in a thick British accent. "Wot-wot?"

"Shaymin is our God. We "Hahjee" to him every month to pray for protection and good grass." Leafeon said, the enormous leaf atop her head swaying slightly as he swished her tail back and forth, looking the humans...and the Half-Irken, Half Arosean over. "If you wish to pay respects to him, then you're welcome to come with us!" She said as one of the young Treeckos examined Nick's backpack, pulling something out, looking it over.

"Oh, good, so then, can you get these ropes off of me?" Nick asked nervously, pointing with his head at the ropes.

"Oh, sure-" The Leafeon began as the little Treecko that had been going through Nick's backpack pressed the little red button at the top of the air horn Nick had kept in his bag.

The ponytas raced off.

"OH CRA-" Nick yelled.

...

...

...

...Mewtwo slowly hovered through the air towards Silph Co, a determined look upon his features. A powerful, strong thought shot out from his mind towards the inhabitants upon the roof.

"I'm coming up. **Be ready**."

And with that, he rushed up through the air telekinetically hovering before the enormous glass top of the roof. The door, thankfully, open. He hovered inside, facing down Butterfree, Pidgeot, Pikachu, Eevee and White.

...wait. One, two, three, four, five, where was-

Mewtwo frowned at them, his mind scanning the room, trying to sense Lucario's thoughts.

"Mewtwo." White commented. "Good to see you finally came!"

"...Mewtwo." Pikachu spoke softly. "You're going through with this?"

"I want to do...what's right." Mewtwo said. "For all Pokémon."

"Do you?" Pikachu asked.

Mewtwo tossed him a hateful, vile glare. "How DARE you impugn my motives when you were one of the first of us to agree to the deal! Such a hypocrite you are, trading in your honor in the name of a good deal! It was only logical for me to choose this reality if it meant all Pokémon would benefit..."

**"Don't fool yourself." **

Mewtwo looked up just in time for Lucario's foot to catch him in the face, knocking him into the roof so hard that he actually formed a crater. Mewtwo moaned in pain as he tried to pull himself out of the crater, Lucario taking up a fighting pose as Mewtwo frowned darkly. "How did I not sense you?"

He'd only sensed what he thought was a reflection of his own intentions upon scanning the top of the roof. How had-

"The Aura." Lucario said firmly, eyes narrowed. "The Aura protects me from your psychic bewitchery." He said, circling around as the others, save for Pikachu, quickly ran to the door that would lead them down to the second floor, Mewtwo and Lucario circling each other.

"Well then...let us see if you can compete with me." Mewtwo said as Pikachu closed the door, joining Lucario in the circling, his fists sparkling with electricity.

"You must think yourself very strong." Pikachu growled. "But so are we! DOUBLE-TEAM!" Pikachu roared out.

Pikachu's body sparked with electrical energy as he rushed forward, his body shimmering, looking as though several of him were racing towards Mewtwo instead of one. Lucario also raced forward with a cry of "EXTREMESPEED", the two of them rushing right towards Mewtwo, almost too fast...

Almost.

A moment later Mewtwo was some distance away, his body also in a fighting position, looking rather smug. "Able to move at such a speed...especially you, Pikachu. I had almost forgotten how FAST you were. Almost as fast as I was." He grinned slightly. "Ah, but have you forgotten?"

Mewtwo's body began to glow with purplish psychic energy. "I'm not just some big-headed intellectual, am I? A true elite cannot simply have brains, but a superior physique. And all of the Legendary Pokémon must be the very best at fighting."

Mewtwo rushed forward, fists glowing with purple power, striking at Lucario, knocking him through the air, making him slam into the doorway that had led down to the next floor. The doorway crashed down around him as he crumpled to the floor, moaning in pain, rubbing his sore head as he staggered back up, Pikachu facing Mewtwo down.

Mewtwo smiled calmly at Pikachu. "Come." He said, motioning for Pikachu to attack.

Pikachu held up two fists, moving his arms back, cracking them slightly before he rushed forward, jumping through the air. "THUNDER PUNCH!" he roared.

He struck at Mewtwo's chest as lightning sparked through the air...and he promptly bounced away, striking Lucario hard, knocking them both to the ground. Mewtwo chuckled darkly as Lucario stood up, getting an idea.

He grabbed ahold of Pikachu, and threw him like a fastball, Pikachu's tail glowing brightly with white energy. "IRON TAIL!" Pikachu roared out.

THA-BWAAAAAAM! A harsh strike to Mewtwo's cheek made the psychic Pokémon back up slightly, but Pikachu rubbed his sore tail, gasping in pain. His entire body felt like iron!

"You've been studying _Koukikou_!" Pikachu realized.

"Indeed." Mewtwo said with a nod. "I can absorb the psychic energy, or "ki" within the air, condense it, and use it to imbalance those around me, making them weaker and my body as resilient as rubber!" He rushed forth, throwing a punch, and Pikachu blocked with his arms, but he was knocked through the air, striking against the wall, blood dribbling out his mouth.

"And...you know..._Su Senkei_?" Pikachu murmured, eyes widening.

"Yes, the Chinese school of Naike Kenpou allows me to destroy the body inside with the smallest amount of power possible." Mewtwo said, holding up his paws in a fighting position. "Your strength does not even come close to mine. Submit, Pikachu, and I will show mercy towards you."

"And let you hurt White? Let you continue to lie?" Pikachu growled. "That is something I couldn't live with."

"It's something you will not be able to live with no matter what your choice." Mewtwo said. "How ironic. Defeated my the martial arts you love so much." The Legendary Pokémon said, soaring forth at Pikachu. He grabbed ahold of Pikachu, hoisting him up as Pikachu flailed his legs around. "Trying to kick my "vitals"? Have you forgotten that I can suck my-"

THUDDA-CRUCKA! A harsh punch to the back of the head, the "support" region of Mewtwo's skull made his eyes widen and his paws released Pikachu as he fell to the ground, shuddering, eyes bulging out as he let out pained, tiny gasps.

Lucario panted slightly, helping Pikachu up as he nodded firmly. "Should have waited for him to make a monologue." He told Pikachu.

...

...

...

...meanwhile, several figures were sitting around a table, their "master" floating in the air above them.

"So...did the bait and switch work?"

"Oh yes. The Briton was never aware that I was that the Big Fish he thought he'd netted was small fry all along."

"And Ganondorf has his hands tied with Zelda, and the Pokémon world is very much occupied with "them", apparently."

"And sadly, Dark Samus fell. Such a SHAME."

"So much glee...Mother."

Mother Brain smiled to herself as she twirled one lock of blond hair, her eyes glinting like the finely-put-together white dress she wore as she turned to nod at her master. "What can I say? Even her fake was far too much like the real thing for my liking."

"Well, we don't need to worry too much about interference for much longer. As you all know, there's a little surprise waiting for "him" in the Pokémon world. Even if he does get it all "fixed", this means he'll remember the most horrifying truth of all, and must fight Arceus."

"It is GOOD to have a so-called "God" working along with us." The earlier voice that had spoken of the Briton said. "Oh, but I must take my leave. I've got to check in on another friend of ours." He said.

He left the room, heading down a hallway and turning into an elevator, riding down to the final level of their headquarters. As the elevator door swung open, the being smiled as best it could, looking at the penguin in red, white and yellow robes who was standing behind an enormous podium, having a large group of grunts facing him and saluting, one hand over their heart. The penguin had a poofball cap of sorts atop his head, blue skin, with a yellow beak...and a large hammer lying against the podium he was behind.

"I pledge allegiance to the mobs of the United Hoods of America. One family...all indivisible...with larceny and rubouts for ALL!" The mob grunts all grunted.

"Good, good!" The penguin said, slamming his big, thick fist on the podium as he nodded firmly. "THAT'S what I'm talkin' about! That there Kirby' ain't gonna stand a chance against y'all!"

"Dedede." The being said. "I take it you've finally learned the benefits of quantity over quantity?"

"I've assembled an army of da WORST dregs in all Dreamland. Kirby ain't gonna stand a chance!" Dedede insisted, slamming his fist on the podium again.

KRA-KROOOOM! The podium cracked apart, breaking on the spot. Dedede frowned at this as his boss groaned deeply. This was a bad sign. And Dedede's boss didn't even BELIEVE in signs.

Meanwhile, Ganondorf was pacing the halls of Castle Town's castle, as a being sat in a chair across from him.

"I take it that...things aren't going too well?" The being inquired, looking amused.

"It's not as easy as I had thought it would be." He said, folding his arms. "She's still resistant. I've been trying to act as civil as I can in order to charm her, but apparently, she knows of what I did." He sighed deeply. "I suppose one can't win all the time."

"But you never win any!" The figure laughed.

Ganondorf gave him an angry glare as the figure sat up from the chair. "But you needn't worry. I think I can help assist you, master." The figure said, stepping out into the light...as Link smirked back at Ganondorf. "I know how my worse side works. I can imitate him enough to drive her away...into your arms. And then you'll have her, her Triforce of Power...everything."

"Good, good." Ganondorf said. "But I'm not honestly worried about you failing so much as that human interfering. He's a nuisance. And if he ever shows up again, I'll need something to make sure that he stops BEING a nuisance." He snapped his fingers as a parchment and pen hovered through the air. "I think it's time to "find religion"." He quickly wrote down a message onto the parchment. "Deliver this to "her"." Ganondorf said as he headed down the hallway, smirking to himself as he entered a room where Zelda was.

"...what do you wish?" Zelda murmured. It was only been a week, but it felt like a week too long to be around Ganondorf.

"I just want to let you know how much you mean to me, my wife." Ganondorf insisted.

"I'm not your wife YET." Zelda said firmly, almost venomously.

"I apologize." Ganondorf said, holding one hand behind his arm, magic swirling around his hand as flowers began to form. He held a bouqet before him as Zelda passed by a nearby desk. "Please accept these blossoms as a blessing from the bottom of my bloomers."

"What makes you think you're such a "smash hit" with me!" Zelda snapped, tossing a vase at Ganondorf's feet, making him jump back.

"Er...Zelda, really, let's not fight." Ganondorf insisted. "We needn't be enemies. Really!" He said. "Somebody like you...you have no idea how much I want somebody like you to stand by my side throughout my life."

"Oh really?" Zelda murmured, frowning, folding her arms. This was such an obvious lie. He loved POWER, not her.

_**You know, you're really quite a dish.**_

_**You're what a guy might call delish.**_

_**You've got an awful lot of class.**_

_**You're packed as solid as a knish.**_

_**But every time I talk to you,**_

_**You ignore me through and through,**_

_**Why do you act this way, my dear? **_

_**I cannot fathom you...**_

Zelda turned to fold her arms, walking over to a nearby window and looking out of it was Ganondorf leaned in, his nose a bit TOO close to Zelda's cheek.

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything!**_

_**Let me show you how to live,**_

_**Girls who get...are girls who give!**_

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything!**_

_**I'm a man who has **__**everything**__**.**_

_**Everything...but you!**_

"I am only going to request it once. Get...your...hands...off me." Zelda muttered hatefully.

_**At every night, I'm there.**_

_**The people know me everywhere.**_

_**Of course, they love me all the way.**_

_**A check for me - they wouldn't dare!**_

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything.**_

_**You're the type that I adore,**_

_**So why fight it anymore?**_

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything.**_

_**I'm a man who has everything;**_

_**Share it all with me!**_

Zelda promptly struck him hard in the gut, knocking him back, rubbing her now-sore elbow as she strode across the room. "I wouldn't be your wife if thou were the last man upon all of Hyrule!"

Ganondorf wheezed slightly, resting one hand against the wall as he stood back up. "Zelda! Truly, you needn't act this way." He said as he clapped his hands, a large cask of wine appearing as he snapped his fingers, two glasses hovering in the air. The cask of wine uncorked itself, pouring some wine into the glasses as one glass hovered towards Zelda, who glared at it like it was filled with the plague.

_**You have a drink and just relax,**_

_**I have this chef who cooks the end.**_

_**Let's drive out, dear;**_

_**I've no doubt, dear,**_

_**You and I will blend!**_

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything.**_

_**Why not give me just a try?**_

_**I'm a pretty decent guy.**_

_**You're the woman for the man**_

_**Who has everything**_

_**And for the man who has everything**_

_**Only the best will do**_

_**So why can't I have you? Yeah!**_

Zelda's leg shot forth. Her aim was true.

"**OOOOH-HOOO-HOOO-HOOOOOOOO!" **

...

...

...

... "So...you said that the guardian and Shaymin are somewhere around here?" Samus inquired as they approached an enormous field of flowers, Leafeon leading the grass types behind her as Nick, now tied up with a "Vine Whip" from a Bulbasaur, his form now drastically changed. Having his limbs ripped off had been painfully inconveniencing enough. But he'd transformed upon dying...and this had not exactly sat well with the grass-types.

"Can't you just untie me? Come on, it's still me." Nick mumbled nervously. His body was now Insectoid in appearance, with a Kelly-green pair of sleeves and a lighter shade of green pair of pants and shirt, with a neckerchief-esque mask to cover the lower part of his face. A pair of spiked antennae were rising up from his vaguely olive-green skinned head, and his eyes were very large, with green irises and pupils.

"You just turned into a giant bug. Please excuse us if we don't feel comfortable around you!" Leafeon said.

"Yeah, we HATE bugs! They're always trying to suck from my bulb!" The Bulbasaur that had tied Nick up said, pointing at his back, growling angrily.

"Or steal our food!" A treecko snapped furiously.

"Or bite my leaves off." Leafeon added, frowning.

A figure suddenly descended from the air, growling darkly, two figures atop his back. "What're you doing in Shaymin's home?" The being hissed. It was an orange, draconic figure with a pair of bat-like wings with blue skin at the front, with light green irises and a cream-colored belly. The long neck of the thing snaked towards Nick, who had been forced to the front, making Nick gulp.

"Er, we were here to...talk to Shaymin." Nick mumbled nervously.

Charizard sniffed him. His eyes widened. "...Nick?" He asked.

Nick blinked in surprise. "CHARIZARD? You...recognize me?"

"I recognize your scent anywhere." Charizard said as two beings hopped off, looking the group over, Charizard hugging Nick tightly. "Oh, it's so GOOD to see you back!"

"What can we help you with?" One of the beings on Charizard's back inquired, a hedgehog-esque creature with a grassy back and small black eyes, a pink flower glittering on it's head.

Then it noticed Nick, eyes widening.

"...oh." It whispered.

_Oh no. You. One of them. Oh no, please, no..._

"What is it?" Nick asked, looking at Shaymin.

"..." Shaymin frowned slightly. "...you are...really...human, right?" She asked quietly, sorrowfully. "...we Legendaries have always been very keenly aware of the help and the threat that humans have held towards Pokémon. Most of the Legendaries have forgotten what good your kind brought to us. Are you here for a purpose of goodwill?"

"Yes, we believe that there's a very real danger about to affect this world." Nick said.

"...human. I've...I cannot lie to you. I don't believe in dishonesty. The effects are worse than you think. This is not like stopping the bomb from going off." Shaymin said. "The bomb has already GONE off. Arceus-"

Suddenly the ground quaked as a loud roar filled the air. **"SHAYMIIIIIIIIIN!"**

A white, winged form landed on the ground some distance away, eyes narrowed. "You'll not say another word. I had hoped I'd never have to do this, but the moment you arrived here, that was the moment I knew I could not hold back." Lugia growled. "Nicholas Michael Grey...I'm afraid that this is the day you die! FOR THE SAKE OF OUR WORLD!"


	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

"Nick, stand back. I'll handle this." Samus insisted calmly, holding up her arm cannon, power surging around the front, small points of energy swirling forth to form a brightly-glowing orb of power. "I'll deal with it easily enough, I've taken down annoying reptilian avians before. Many...many times."

"Mano y mano." Lugia said, pointing with a digit of his "wing/arm" at Nick, making Nick blink a few times in surprise. "You and me. Alone."

Nick immediately pushed Samus's arm cannon down, making her turn to look at him like he was a moron. "Miss, no. I've got to do this on my own. It's on my honor."

"Kid, what kind of stupid reasoning-"

"It's ON-HIS-HONOR, Samus!" Link said firmly, putting a hand on Samus's shoulder. "Try and understand. There are few things more important in this world than your honor. If a man can't fight for what he believes in, then he's not a man!"

Samus gave him an annoyed look that he couldn't see due to the visor she wore, but he sensed the animosity she was giving off in waves and quickly added "And the same goes for ladies as well! Yes, a true lady must also uphold her honor as a gentlewoman!"

"...fine." Samus said, stepping back and sitting down in a field of flowers nearby. "I'm going to take a nap. Wake me when the fight scene is over."

Nick reached into a pocket on the belt he was now wearing in his new form, three-clawed hands holding up a compact-looking bluish thing. He pressed a button upon it and the thing expanded outward with a "SCWOOP", segmenting and becoming what was unmistakably a rifle. He pointed up dramatically into the air, grinning broadly behind his "mouth mask".

"I shoot 100 Shots, I get 100 Hits! I can target ANYTHING in this form, you overgrown seagull!"

"SEAGULL!" Lugia yelled angrily, a tic mark appearing on his avian face. "Can a seagull do THIS?"

Lugia raised itself up upon it's vaguely flipper-esque feet, one held up high into the air, one hand/wing held at head level, the other held forth at the stomach...like a...a...

"Crane style?" Nick exclaimed, looking amazed. "You know Martial Arts?"

"Know it? I TEACH it!" Lugia laughed.

"Oh yeah, well, take THIS!" Nick roared out, holding up the rifle, cocking the barrel back and firing off a powerful-looking bullet-shaped burst of plasma energy that roared outward, shooting towards Lugia, who-

Swiftly dodged, twisting his body elegantly and striking another pose.

"Wh-what?" Nick gaped. "Darn it, he's FAST." Nick cursed, firing off a series of rapid shots, but Lugia jumped and danced around as elegantly as the bird he was attempting to imitate. Every time Nick shot at Lugia, the enormous Legendary would simply slide away as if it was walking on water, gliding away to safety.

"Are you SURE we shouldn't get involved?" Kirby asked as Nick began to angrily jump up and down on his rifle. It had failed him. FAILED him.

"Trust me on this, this is something he's got to do on his own." Link insisted.

"You know what, it's time for the old standby! JUST HIT STUFF!" Nick roared, jumping through the air, holding the rifle like a battering ram, trying to strike Lugia in it's long neck...

But Lugia's hand quickly shot out, slamming sideways into his stomach, making his eyes bug out and POP out as he hit the ground, everyone else gasping in surprise, Lugia visibly looking horrified as he jumped back, going "Icky-icky-icky", Nick feeling around on the ground for his eyes.

"Sorry. Irken eyes are implants." Nick said nervously.

Lugia sighed, pinching the space between his eyes before gently picking up the fallen-out eyes and then picking NICK up, putting the eyeballs back into the empty sockets...

And tossing him through the air. "WAAAAAAAAAUUUHHH!" Nick roared as he spiraled through the skies, landing to the ground with an enormous THUNKA-THWUMP as Samus sighed, shaking her head, Kirby holding up a small sign.

"I give you a 9.2 for your form, but 2 for your landing." Kirby wisecracked. "Let's see if the judges agree!"

Erin held up a 9.2 and a 3, Alex held up a 9.0 and a 2.5, and Shaymin, atop of Charizard's head, was holding a sign that read "9.1 and 5." Seems that the legendary had gone sweet on him.

"Ah-HA. Ah-HA!" Nick sarcastically laughed, standing back up, swaying back and forth slightly as he took up another fighting position, holding the rifle high. "I can beat him!"

"You may try." Lugia said. "But you'll only end up being slain. My condolences, but this is necessary." The Legendary Guardian of the Sea then held his palms behind his back as the wind began to whip around our protagonists, the skies darkening overhead as Lugia grinned, a swirling orb-shaped, yellowish/orange vortex of wind beginning to form in his enormous hands/wings.

"Uhoh." Charizard gasped. "Aeroblast!" He whispered.

"INDEED!" Lugia laughed. "**AEROBLAST!**"

He let out a loud roar as his body glowed a bright blue, thrusting the vortex of wind at Nick as it swirled towards him.

Nick grinned himself. The strange metallic "backpack" on his back suddenly opened up it's bottom "hatch" and what was unmistakably three small sets of engines sprung out.

THWOOSH! He went soaring up through the air, letting out a courageous "WAHOO" as Lugia blinked in surprise, the Aeroblast harmlessly passing through the air as everyone else ducked for their lives, Kirby gripping tightly ahold of Alex, trembling like a leaf as he nestled in Alex's hair like a big, pink bird.

The teenager cocked an eyebrow as he looked up at the pink ball on his head, a wide smile plastered on his features. "You know, if you'd known me a few years ago, you would be a big pink pizza of marshmallow on the floor by now." he said, laughing his heart out as he dropped onto his back to avoid the attack.

"He can fly?" Lugia gasped.

"He can FLY!" Erin wisecracked.

"I can fly, I can fly, I can fly!" Nick laughed as he soared above Lugia, holding a fist up high, rushing towards Lugia before the Legendary could react in time.

With a THUDDA-BOOOM he struck Lugia in the neck, making the enormous silver bird let out a very loud squawk like a chicken that had just had his head cut off, and Lugia hit the ground, moaning in pain as Nick jumped back onto the ground, rubbing his fist.

"You know, strong body or not, that hurt. Even with my momentum adding to the power that hurt. Still, it hurt YOU more." Nick told Lugia.

"I'm-I'm not giving up..." Lugia gasped out, standing back up, soaring into the air on his wings. "Let us see how well you fare in the skies!" He roared out as Nick activated his jet-PAK again, rising up at Lugia as the two engaged in aerial warfare, both swerving and slicing through the air, trying to strike at the other.

"This is one unusual dogfight..." Leafeon admitted.

"...I'm hungry." Kirby announced.

"How can you think about food at a time like this?" Erin wanted to know.

"All I can think of is things like minced pie, and creamed corn, and whipped cream and beaten eggs-"

"Now I'M hungry!" Link admitted, his stomach growling. "I don't think we've eaten for a whole day..." He said nervously, rubbing his stomach. "Did anyone, pray tell, pack any kind of food?"

"Nah, I've got nothin'. Alex?" Erin asked, looking over at him. "I don't suppose you could magic up an extra large?"

Alex shook his head sadly. "I don't do magic Erin, allergic to it, except Nicks of course" He leant back, suspended by energy bolts, yawning. "Wake me up in five minutes if they're not done." He insisted, joining Samus in a nap.

Nick soared overhead, the blue skies becoming something of an enormous blur, the ground below a patchwork quilt of thousands of colors as he and Lugia circled each other, occasionally dashing forth at their respective foes to clash for a few moments, the wind whipping his Irken antennae through the air.

"In case you're wondering if I'm scared of heights, you don't need to worry! I'M NOT." Nick said with a smirk, rushing forward again and slamming his fist into Lugia's side, knocking the bird slightly back through the air, making him spin slightly.

"You sure are persistent. But I'd never let you reach the truth. It would ruin everything." Lugia insisted darkly, his eyes suddenly beginning to glow blue. "My telekinetic abilities aren't as keen as Mewtwo's, but they're going to be good enough for this."

"Hey, you cheating-" Nick began to say as he felt the PAK on his back suddenly de-attach...

And he went barreling towards the Earth at a million miles an hour with a loud "jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerk" as the others gasped in horror.

A large explosion rippled through the air as the ground shook around them all, flower petals scattering like snowflakes past their faces as Samus and Alex woke up, the shuddering quake of the ground disturbing their slumber as they saw the smoke from the explosion slowly dissolve away, revealing a crater and...

Nick was gone.

...

...

...

...Zelda nonchalantly turned the pages of her diary, ignoring Ganondorf peeking in on her to check in, letting out a "Mmm-hmm" as he inquired as to how she was doing.

"Would you be interested in joining me for a refreshing stroll around the gar-"

"No."

"...well, I'll simply leave you be." Ganondorf mumbled, shot down in flames, muttering hateful things under his breath as he practically stomped off, wishing that there was a switch on Zelda's back he could switch off to turn off that bad attitude she had.

Zelda calmly got up and closed the door, locking it firmly, not wanting him to come back later, then strolled back over to her diary, looking through the tiny pink-bound tome. She'd been writing in ones like these since she was 5.

_"August 2nd. Father finally introduced me to the chefs at the castle. They really are...I've never seen people so hairy. August 4th. Went fishing today out by the creek beyond the castle grounds. Didn't catch a single sunny. Also, I finally finished my lessons on "chivalry". I can talk like a true lady does now! Alas, prithee, forsooth. No fish biteth today. Tis most unfortunate."_

Zelda giggled at the silliness of it all, holding one hand over her mouth as she read on.

_"November 12th. Daddy had an accident carrying me from dinner to my room when he took me piggyback ridin'. He says he's getting a bit too old for such things. November 25th. Daddy was very sad today. He said it was because it was the anniversary of when he and mommy got married. He always goes to his room and I can hear him crying until he falls asleep. He does that every year..."_

Now the giggling began to slow, something slowly forming in Zelda's eyes.

_"December 20th. Daddy and I built a snowman outside the castle. Unfortunately it didn't come out too well, but it was just nice to spend more time with him. He's always so busy around this time of year, making sure the "affairs of state are in order". December 29th. Daddy bought me a book of stories for me to read. My favorite's the ones about Father Christmas being rescued from demons in caves. He says he'll read it to me every night."_

Now Zelda was weeping, suppressing sobs as best she could with her hand, trying to fight back tears as she finally put the diary away, rushing to her bed and sinking into it headfirst, trying to muffle the sound of her own crying. She felt so ashamed, so low, but...but she couldn't help it.

She missed her daddy. She-

A knock on the window.

The window?

Zelda turned her head, eyes widening at the unmistakable sight of Link smiling happily at her from outside. "LINK?" She gasped, quickly wiping the tears away as she strode to the window and immediately opened it up-

Momentarily forgetting that this window opened outward, not inward.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAH-OOOF!" Link fell down to the courtyard below, gasping in pain as he tried to stand back up.

"Link! You are...you are back so SOON!" Zelda said happily, clapping her hands together, a joyful expression crossing her features before she realized what she'd done. "Oh, I...hold on!" She called out, quickly going to her bed and beginning to tie the sheets together to help Link up into her window. Lowering the long tied-together sheets down, she helped Link up through the window and then tightly hugged him.

"It felt like forever to me as well. I have missed thee so much, Zelda." Link said softly, lovingly. "I've been thinking...thinking of my feelings for you while I was away, and I felt I HAD to come back."

Zelda stiffened a bit. Wait. Hold on! "Where is Nick?" She inquired. "Is the human alright?"

Link stepped back, folding his arms and sighing slightly. "Unfortunately he...he turned out to be the threat I had originally suspected him to be. He saw no other way of getting rid of Ganondorf than attacking the castle with a large army, but I couldn't support such a move. Innocents would be hurt in the attack!"

"...you didn't..." Zelda gasped.

"He gave me no choice." Link said sadly, shaking his head. "I trusted him and all this time...his desire to do what was right twisted him. It can happen to us all, Zelda." Link told her, taking her hand. "But I'm here now. And we can make it right."

"I...I hope so." Zelda murmured nervously, clinging to Link and not wanting to let go...not noticing the sudden devilish grin that split across "Link's" face like a melon cracking in half, a crooked, foul smirk forming as his red eyes glittered like crystallized blood.

...

...

...

...elsewhere, Din, Farore and Nayru were all sitting together in an enormous, crystalline abyss of some kind with a faint bluish/white tinge to everything, looking at each other intently. It was Nayru's "mindscape"...she'd connected Din and Farore to her head through the use of one of the many magic spells she knew and was determined to speak to all of them.

"Sisters, you all know I wouldn't be contacting you if I didn't think this was deadly serious." Nayru said, adjusting her glasses for a moment. "As you know, that human's gone off to another world with Link and Zelda had remained here. Yet, somehow, another Link has appeared. Foul play?"

She turned to look at Farore, only to see her poofy-ponytailed sister was picking her nose. "FARORE! **REALLY!**" Nayru yelled angrily.

"Huh? Oh. Sorry." Farore removed her pinky and wiped it on her dress, making Nayru cringe in disgust as Din laughed broadly. "I was miles away."

"You need to stay focused on listening to me or your mind's avatar will-"

WA-WOOP! Farore was gone as Nayru groaned, holding her head and shaking it back and forth. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" She swore. "She probably started thinking about flowers again!"

"That's sis, alright." Din laughed as she leaned back against the air, sniggering slightly. "What did you call us for anyhow? It can't just be to discuss a fake Link."

"I'm calling you because I believe that a certain somebody had been poking his nose where it ought not to have been...and might have left what his nose SMELLED to his daughter. Comprende, señorita?" Nayru said furiously.

"..." Din frowned darkly. "You mean that King Hyrule discovered our secret?" He said. "Why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

"King Hyrule did what?" Farore gasped, reappearing before their eyes, now covered in flower petals, a bee nonchalantly hovering around one of her ponytails.

"I believe he discovered our secret. We had never really investigated who did research into the full history of Hyrule, since everyone believed our every word about how we created this land, but King Hyrule was different. I believe that he suspected something odd about us from the moment we appeared in his kingdom."

"And so he tried to go through our dirty laundry?" Din asked. "And actually found some nasty stuff?"

"Indeed, and I feel he left the information to Zelda. But in order to know for sure, we'll need to visit her. Learn the truth." Nayru said. "We don't want to tip her off and let her know anything is "off"."

"Why do you think he knew our secret?" Farore wanted to know.

"You can sense "spirits", Din senses "power" and I sense "minds". What laid in King Hyrule's mind was something that he didn't want us Goddesses to learn. I sensed it every time I met with him.". Nayru informed them all.

"I think I'LL do this, then." Din said, standing up and stretching, showing off her body as she grinned broadly. "It's been a while since I got to burn anything down."

"I told you, we DON'T wanna tip her off! We have an image to uphold." Nayru said firmly, darkly.

"It's not an image, it's a "duty"!" Farore thought to herself, vanishing from the mindscape. "And maybe you don't take it seriously, but **I** do..."

...

...

...

...everyone gaped at the enormous empty crater where Nick SHOULD have been...but he wasn't. He was gone, and Lugia hovered down to the ground, looking oddly tired.

"It is done...had to be done." Lugia murmured to himself.

"YOU DIRTY BIRD!" Kirby roared angry.

"How...DARE...you..." Link growled.

"You KILLED him!" Erin shrieked.

Samus frowned darkly behind her visor.

Alex's eyes flickered open, glowing an incredibly violent green.

"Does anyone mind if I step in now?" he asked, standing as static began infesting everyone's hair, making Erin'S in particular look like a haystack.

"SNOOTCH TO THE DUUUUUUDE!" A crying voice roared out.

Everyone looked up to see Nick, now back in human form, was rushing towards Lugia from high above...the explosion had killed him, and had blown his body sky high...and now he was back again!

"Oh s-"

An even HARDER punch, this time to the top of Lugia's head, made the enormous bird shudder in pain, it's eyes bugging out, a pained, howling screech echoing through the air as all time seemed to freeze...and then Lugia hit the ground, tongue rolling out of it's mouth as Nick dusted himself off, looking proud. "Ha. And furthermore, HA." Nick told the nearly-unconscious Lugia.

"Don't' SCARE us like that!" Erin said, giving Nick a whack on the back of the head.

"He did it, he did it, he did it!" The Pokémon all chanted, dancing around in a circle, clasping hands as Shaymin bounced up and down atop Charizard's head with it's mate, Kirby doing his infamous dance as well.

Alex's arm flicked up and plucked the pink ball off his head and set him down before he set his gaze upon the legendary Pokémon. "I actually feel really bad about him" he said as he knelt in front of the colossal bird.

"Why? He tried to KILL Mr. Nick." Kirby said, pouting broadly.

"Shaymin..." Lugia muttered out. "...you...can't...you CANNOT tell him." He whispered.

Shaymin stopped dancing and hopped down from Charizard's head, going over towards Lugia's almost-still form. "Lugia, you know I hate dishonesty-"

"You have your own ideals and I respect that...but think about it. This isn't about what will affect only you, or only affect the human. This is going to affect ALL of us." Lugia said quietly. "I...I know what we did was wrong, but it produced such good..."

"It was wrong to do so at their expense. Whatever good it brought was spoiled rotten. Soured by what was done." Shaymin insisted, turning around to look at a confused-looking Nick. "...human...Nick...I...I insist that you listen well to what I'm about to say. There is a facility at Pallet Town about 300 or so miles to the West. If you want answers as to what is going on here, and why the world around you has changed so...you'll find them there. I would tell you myself, but this is something you have to find out on your own. If I told you right now, it wouldn't..." Shaymin bowed his hedgehog-esque head. "It wouldn't feel right."

"I understand." Nick said at last, sighing as he turned to the others. "Well, fortunately, I've planned for this." Nick admitted to them all. "I happen to have a song that'll help with this."

"You really DO have a song for everything, don't you?" Samus wondered, looking almost amused.

"I should know." Alex said with a smile. "I've known him for decades now!"

Samus's head whipped towards Alex, her eyes widening. That wasn't possible, he didn't even look-

Nick took a deep breath, then placed one hand on his chest, the other pointing a finger up dramatically into the air as he belted out a loud song.

_**Remembering the days I'd worked hard and I'd played **_

_**Around Pallet Town! Feeling so proud of the friends I made,**_

_**Knowing our goals-are-the-same!**_

And as if a switch had been turned, as if an eye had been blinked, as if some phantom force in the Universe had made a move eons beyond our comprehension, suddenly...there was no flower field around them. There was nothing around them but old-looking but quaint houses in a suburban district, faded paint peeling off the walls, and the puzzled men of courage who suddenly found themselves alone with shadows and darkness.

"...this...what happened to Pallet Town?" Nick said sadly as he approached what he knew to be "his" house. Across from his "rival's" house down the street. His old home had been completely boarded up, slabs of wood hastily hammered across the door and every single window there, a cold, chilling wind blowing that made his body shiver.

Indeed...what HAD happened to Pallet Town?

"THIS is your hometown?" Kirby asked.

"Well, when I went to the Pokémon world this was home sweet home..." Nick admitted nervously, walking around to the back entrance, finding-

"...my bike." Nick said softly, one hand brushing away cobwebs as he rested it upon the handles. "The Green Dragon...my old "Trekmaster"." He murmured, patting the green-and-silver bike slightly, looking clearly bothered by how old and dilapidated it was...how old EVERYTHING around here was. "...how is this possible? I visited the Pokémon world not that long ago, visited PALLET not so long ago, how could it all have changed so much?"

"We all forgot you." Charizard said nervously as he rubbed the back of his long neck, looking ashamed. "I'm awfully sorry...but I don't know why this place is so lacking in life. There used to be people and Pokémon living together in peace on this world and then one day..."

The door suddenly creaked open and a blast of dead, rank air that should have stayed in the attic it belonged to swept over them all as Erin nervously approached, stepping inside.

She saw what lay within.

"...I...I..." She began to stutter. "It...the-the basement, it..."

"What is it, Red?" Alex asked gently, putting his hand on her shoulder.

They all entered the house and saw the open basement door.

And wished they hadn't. There, before their eyes, was the unmistakable sight of horrifying-looking machinery with blood splayed across the walls, and the faint remnants of a burned, blackened pile of bodies in the corner. Which had once been human.

Which had once been children. They weren't even as old as Nick was.

Nick found himself shaking as Lugia's voice came back out as a whisper. "I...tried...to stop you...I tried at first to stop THEM...but the idea was something we all had to go along with." He murmured as Nick slowly descended the stairs, moving not on his own conscious violation, but by some subconscious desire to continue. A subconscious desire that would soon regret this upon seeing all that was in the basement.

The enormous basement was filled to the brim with capsules that had what appeared to be hook-like tentacles hanging from a region where one's head ought to have been, apparently to get a good and firm grip on their unfortunate captives. There were small package-shaped computers attached to the enormous capsules and the foul stench of rotting, burning flesh that had been lying around for weeks filled the air.

Blood was splattered on the walls above several graphing computers of some kind, near a set of desks by the largest computer in the room, with a monitor flickering on and off, showing off a screen of solid static, not too far away from the pile of bodies in the corner.

"...I...I don't...how is this...?" Nick murmured in horror as he approached the computer. A voice was slowly beginning to creep back into his mind...familiar...frightening...powerful...cruel...

"Hold on." Samus said, approaching the computer, carefully pushing Nick to the side as she began to type in something onto the keyboard, putting the computer into a "repair" mode and initiating a recovery program. "...one moment..."

"...here." Samus said, finally hitting the mouse button on a folder as a diagram was brought up. "This is..." Her voice became very quiet, clearly unsettled by what she'd learned. "This was a laboratory for the use of creating "_tulpas_"." She murmured. "Manifestations of mind and spirit. They were trying to make them on a new level."

_"I'd love to take you home with me and tuck you into bed..."_

"People used CHILDREN for this project?" Link gasped in horror, looking furious over the cruelty that had been levied.

_"I'd love to see what makes you tick inside your pretty head..."_

"No. **Pokémon **used human children for this." Samus murmured. "Children from YOUR home, Nick." She told him sadly as Nick began to shake, the memories slowly rushing back.

_"I'd love to hear you laugh tonight, I'd love to hear you weep..." _

"Then all those memories I have of Nick..." Charizard began.

"All the things we did...all I remember..." Nick murmured. "All...just...lies?"

_"I'd love to listen to you as you're SCREAMING IN YOUR SLEEP!"_


	13. Chapter 13

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

To his credit, he had not cried yet.

But perhaps there were some things that were beyond tears.

Nicholas Michael Grey was now sitting in a chair, eyes wide and looking like he had been released from a concentration camp, barely escaping with his life. Charizard was curled in the corner, wings folded around him like a blanket as he kept his head hidden, ashamed of the hot, bitter tears that were trailing down his cheeks. Link rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to say that could make the clearly-traumatized-filled Nick feel better as Alex held Erin's shoulder, the Arosean squeezing his hand over and over.

Nobody said anything. The only sound in the room was from Lugia's labored breathing. Finally Nick turned to look at Shaymin. "Why." He said. It was not a question. It was a statement.

"...Arceus...wanted to create the perfect world for Pokémon kind." Shaymin explained, as it's mate nodded firmly. "there are 4 worlds. One world is entirely for Pokémon."

"What, the one you already had wasn't enough?" Nick mumbled hatefully.

"How many Pokémon worlds ARE there?" Samus inquired.

"There were...are...four. The other three worlds have humans in charge, and the one true "originator" world had so much "potential" in it that it created two separate worlds on it's own...worlds with populations mirroring its own." Shaymin went on. "But the Legendaries decided to work together and take all of the worlds for themselves, thinking it was owed to them. They decided to create a separate and superior world only for Pokémon with the ultimate goal of creating enough powerful Pokémon to one day-"

"Invade the other Pokémon worlds?" Samus asked angrily, looking furiously at Shaymin. "YOU'RE a Legendary Pokémon, you were in on this plan?"

"Arceus insisted that it was our divine right. He was the one who created the Pokémon world after emerging from a single egg where before there was naught but nothingness." Lugia's voice drifted out as He carefully lifted up the "floor", fully exposing himself to those down in the basement. "Does not your own God in your "Bible" say that the Earth is yours to use as you please? You, whom he created in his own image?"

Nick was still very quiet. He said nothing. But some color was slowly but surely returning to his cheeks.

"However some Pokemon objected. One of the Legendaries even led a direct attack with his most powerful generals." Lugia added.

Nick suddenly snapped his head up. "Mewtwo?" He asked.

"Yes. He felt that Arceus's plan to use those drawn in from your world as "batteries" was as disgusting as what had been done to him. He didn't want anyone to become a lab rat the way he had...and ironically, that is what befell he and his generals." Lugia said sadly. "They lost and had their minds altered to believe that they were different people."

"...how long have I really known them for?" Nick asked. "Pikachu. Charizard. Mewtwo. Butterfree. Pidgeot. Snorlax. Lapras. Arbok. Kangaskhan. Eevee..."

"...you truly met them for the first time when you interviewed them." Lugia said quietly. "I...I allowed them to move freely between the worlds in the name of keeping the illusion up and...and because I wanted to do you a favor out of pity." He added softly. "The other worlds have no idea of the truth either. They think all is hunky dory but-"

"...I thought I'd spent years with them. I didn't even know them for one day, huh?" Nick asked in a slightly squeaky, weeping voice.

He held the space between his eyes, biting his lip. "...you know, I didn't used to like Pokémon. My brother was the one who did. I teased him about it. Then I got into it. And...and then my brother, he...then it was HIM telling me my love for it was stupid." He bit his lip. "He told me that...that DIGIMON was better."

All of the Pokémon in the room seemed to flinch or show disgust at the mention of the "D-word".

"...it's...it's funny what you remember." Nick murmured.

_A brown-haired teenager walked into the living room of his house on a sunny May day in 2005. He had hazel eyes and was wearing a green t-shirt with a blue vest, white sneakers and a mood necklace around his neck. He wore a complex-looking watch on his right wrist and was looking right at someone on the couch, who was playing a game._

"_What is it?" He asked his brother._

_His brother had dark brown hair that curled slightly at the end, dark brown eyes and was wearing a black shirt with white pants and dark sneakers. He had a Celtic cross around his neck and was intent on playing the game._

"_God of War." He said. "I got it from EB Games in Avon, biked down and bought it with my own money. It's f—king amazing! Look, look, watch this…"_

_With a few rapid button mashes, his character, who Nick knew to be some Spartan named "Kratos", violently decapitated an unfortunate Medusa monster and blood went gushing everywhere. It was disgusting. _

"_Ew." Nick commented. "Gross. Like you really need anything else to desensitize you to violence, what with the war in Iraq going on and everything else out in the world…"_

_"You're just a pessimist." His brother immediately said._

"...I didn't want you to find out because I knew it would...I'm sorry." Lugia said sadly. "I AM. Well and truly. But it wasn't just that. It was because if you told the people of the Truth, they wouldn't believe you unless you were joined by your Pokémon. Alone, you are an enemy, but with your "friends" at your side, the illusion would have been broken and all would know the world built arund them was built on the bones of innocent children, with blood as the mortar-"

"HOW COULD YOU?" Link roared angrily, tears brimming in his eyes. "Innocent children! You DISGRACE your kind! Are you not a "Ruler"! You're supposed to care for ALL those beneath you, even if they aren't of your own race! A true leader would NEVER harm an innocent child! Kidnapping them from their world and...and doing THIS to them?" He said furiously, gesturing at the machines in the basement.

"We don't have time to linger." Shaymin said. "I told you once before, I think honesty's the best policy. If you want to make things right, you've got to find your other Pokémon and get the message out. I think you need to head to Saffron City. It's home to the most-listened-to Radio show in all of our world and most people tune into it at least once a day!"

"Yes, yes, if your friends were smart, they'd go there first thing to rally all the troops." Leafeon agreed. "Is there a radio here? Put it on, they might already be there!"

Charizard slowly got up. He calmly headed up through the opened-up floor, looking around the living room, finding an old radio and looking at the back. "...out of batteries." He murmured.

"Time for a little Flower Power! FLY MODE!" Shaymin insisted as he leapt up through the air, his body suddenly transforming in a small shower of flower petals into a deer-esque being with little horns and a cute black nose.

"What the?" Samus gaped.

"Shaymin...Fly Mode!" Shaymin announced as a tiny red "neckerchief" unfolded behind it's neck, a leafy frock of hair dangling above it's head. "ENERGY BALL!" He announced loudly, placing a paw upon the radio as a swirling green burst of energy shot out in tiny, ball form at the area where the batteries would have gone.

With a KRRRZZZ the radio crackled on. Nick almost smiled at this. It was so amazing what Pokémon could do.

_The watch-wearing teenager shook his head quickly back and forth. "No, no, no! I'm __**not**__. I see war, violence, hatred, racism, lying and unhappiness so much in the average life around me and on the news. Why do I need more of it in the games I play, the books I read and the TV I watch?"_

"_Well, it's a pretty sweet-looking game. AND it's a puzzling game too, you gotta-"_

"_I get it, I get it, but I still don't think you're mature enough."_

_"Why not?" His younger brother asked, annoyed. He paused the game._

"_Because the game is rated "M" for mature audiences. It's supposed to be for kids 17 and older, and I'M not even old enough to play, OR mature enough. Ipso facto, you're not old or mature enough, you're two and a half years younger than me!" The older brother explained. _

_He then walked into the kitchen and took out a "A&W" root beer can, popping it open. He took a chug and walked back in. "Now come on Dave-"_

"_DAVID."  
_

"_Fine, DAVID, come on, turn the thing off. It'll rot your brains or make you wanna eat babies or something nasty, I'll bet." He was kidding, but he was kidding on the square, a phrase he'd picked up from Al Franken's book. It meant kidding but also really meaning it. _

_The younger brother scoffed. "Hey, God of War's better than that "Pokey-mon" game that's come out. And you'd better not tell Mom."_

_"Emerald? I wanna check it out. Or maybe I should wait for that new game I heard is in development for the USA…it's going to be coming out for Japan in November. And I think I should tell Mom, you're not ready for a game like this yet, you were stuck in your "grouchy teen" years 3 years before you should have been!" _

"_Ha!" His younger brother scoffed. "You are such a douchey loser. "Pokey-mon" is dumb."  
_  
...

...

...

... ...

...

...

... "5,000 Bomb Flowers...2,000 Fire Potions...10,000 Exploding Arrowheads..." Volvagia frowned as he looked over the enormous trading list that Zelda had just handed to him. The masked, horned dragon's features had a visible annoyed look brimming underneath the surface of his green eyes as he looked Zelda over. "Zelda, do tell me, why is your to-be husband requesting these things?" He wanted to know.

"Link and I are unsure." Zelda said as Link stood nearby, arms folded, nodding in agreement. "We suspect he seeks to start a war, but with whom he do not know. Hyrule would never tolerate an open aggression campaign. We do not believe in pre-emptive tactics."

"Well-spoken." Volvagia said, nodding firmly. "One must act proudly in self-defense but never be proud of rashness." He held a three-clawed fist up. "Wait for the opponent to make the first move so you may counter properly...and harshly." He finished, clenching the first tightly.

"Oh, we will." The Link who was not truly Link said. "Should Ganondorf attempt any kind of campaign, Zelda and I will reveal to everyone Linwood Dragomir's true name and intentions, and all the kingdom will be united against him." He spoke proudly, holding his fist against his heart.

Zelda smiled happily at him as Volvagia nodded at them. "Very well. I'll inform the others of what you wish to trade with and for. And you even get a discount since it happens to be Din's birthday." He added cheerily.

"Really? Does it mean that it's also Nayru and Farore's birthdays?" Zelda inquired, blue eyes glittering with curiosity.

"No, she told us she's the eldest of them all." Volvagia went on, shrugging.

Zelda's eyes were filled for a moment with a sudden burst of confusion, and then, suddenly understanding dawned as she nodded and took the Link who was not Link's hand, moving him away from Volvagia and letting him leave the castle. She marched Link into her private bedroom, locking the door and the windows, shutting the blinds.

"Link, did you hear what he said? The ELDEST. But in the legends, the Goddesses were all supposed to be born on the same day, coming into existence all at once." Zelda murmured. "Things are not adding up. My father once told me that he suspected the Goddesses kept things from him." She went on. "He wasn't sure what, he just felt they weren't always honest about their origins...so he tried to teach me to recognize when somebody was telling the truth."

"You can tell that? How?" "Link" wondered out loud, scratching his head.

"There are little "signs"." Zelda explained. "You wouldn't know anything about the subject, but..." She took Link's hand. "When people lie, when they keep things hidden, there are certain things they do as they're keeping the truth hidden or distorting it. Their pulse may quicken, their eyes may flicker in-"

There came a knock on the bedchamber. "Milady! Milady! The Goddess Farore is here to see you!"

Zelda and the Link who was not Link's head whipped towards the door. **What?**

...

...

...

..."And welcome back to our show! It's time for us to comment on some shamelessly racist people who don't know their 911 calls are being recorded by the people on the other end. So credit where credit's due to the good folks down at Cinnabar County for providing us with THIS juicy little joint!"

Everyone listened in a mixture of disgust and confusion as a teary woman began whining to a 911 operator. "9-1-1, what's your emergency!"

"Help, oh sweet Arceus, heeeelp!"

"Ma'am, calm down. What's your emerg-"

"Blacks!"

"...what' s that?"

"Black Pokémon! OOOOHHHHHH!"

"Black Pokémon what, ma'am?"

"In my NEIGHBORHOOD!"

"Do we have the number that this woman called from?" A voice suddenly whispered furiously on the radio as Charizard and Nick's head picked up. "_Baka yaro..._"

"Baka yar-PIKACHU!" Nick and Charizard shouted at once.

"You're sure that the one speaking is your friend?" Samus inquired.

"There's only ONE Pokémon that would talk just like that." Nick insisted. "They've got to be there, and we need to GET there, fast. I have to see them. I **HAVE** to."

Nobody objected to this. They understood Nick's feelings and all nodded quietly as they left the house one at a time, Lugia folding his wings/hands together. "So...I can fly you there quite quickly. Think of it as...a partial atonement." He added sadly. "I know I can't make up for what I've done, but there are ways I could BEGIN to make up...please?"

"Yeah, it'll help. And so will seeing them again. All I know for sure is that seeing my old Pokémon again will help me feel better." Nick said nervously as he climbed on top of Lugia's back, with Samus and Link and Kirby following after.

Alex calmly hovered in the air, Erin sitting on top of Charizard as they waved goodbye to Shaymin and the Grass Pokémon tribe.

"Bye! Thanks for everything!" Erin cheerily called back before they took off through the open blue skies, headed for Saffron City.

...

...

...

...Zelda smiled at Farore, shaking her hand, grateful that Link wasn't saying anything as she poured some tea. "Here you go, oh Farore." Zelda said respectfully. "I do hope it's not too hot."

"Oh no, it's quite lovely." Farore insisted as she sipped her hot tea, smiling. "I do enjoy a good cup of tea, I make my own, you know. The Kokiri all love it!" The green-haired girl bragged as she put her tea cup down on a small oval-shaped table they were sitting at, little cookies on a plate by the tea cup sprinkled with sugar. "Unfortunately in trying to wean them off of that I introduced them to hallucinogens, so I need to wean them off THAT without introducing some new drug." Farore sighed. "It's a vicious cycle."

"...uh...I...wouldn't know." Link nervously said, an awkward silence descending for a moment upon them all as he grinned slightly.

"Anyhow, I really can't stay long, I just wanted to check up on you, Link. It's good to see you've come back." Farore laughed happily. "Do tell me though, however did you find one of the other portals? I simply MUST know!"

"Other...portals?" Link inquired, looking confused.

"You don't remember how you got back home, I take it." Farore remarked, raising an eyebrow. Aw, gee, that isn't right."

"No, not quite. I had help." The Link who was not Link admitted. "Though the human turned out to be untrustworthy, he was kind enough to leave open a portal to this world. He thought I would join him in overthrowing you but I refused and defeated him in combat, entering the portal before it could close with his demise."

"Oh. I thought maybe you'd visited...ah well." Farore shrugged, slurping from her tea cup. "Thank you so much for defending us...and thank you for these cookies, miss!" Farore said, holding up one of the cookies. "Oh, I call ALL the pretty young girls "miss", Miss." She informed Zelda. "Please don't take offense."

But Zelda's keen ears had overheard what Farore had said.

"_Oh. I thought maybe you'd visited...ah well."_

Something was off. VERY off. She had to do some research.

As soon as Farore had left, Zelda headed to the royal library, picking out a large tome that read "Hyrule: A History" from the shelves and opening it up. "She was hiding something. She almost let it slip that there was somebody else in this world who knew about the portals to other realms. And just maybe..."

"What?" Link (who, I remind you again, wasn't the real Link) asked.

"My father spoke glowingly about this man who wrote "Hyrule, A History". He's a historian who lives out at Kakariko Village." Zelda explained, going to the "About the Author" part of the book she held in her hands. "You see, there's a legend about that town, one that he mentions in the preface."

Zelda held the preface up, one finger keeping the "About the Author" page at the ready as Link read from the preface. "A long time ago... there was a man in my village who had an eye they said could see the truth! Now usually, you have to train your mind's eye most strenuously to actually see the truth... But this fella, no, they say he had a different way of doing things... His house stood where the well is now. To be able to see the truth in ways thought impossible...this is history. Viewing all...with the Lens of Truth." Link read.

"The author still lives there in Kakariko. His name is Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong, and it says he really enjoys entertaining guests." Zelda said, clasping the book to her chest. "Link...do you think you can hold down the fort here whilst I visit Kaondor?"

"Ganondorf shall not know a THING I've got planned." Link answered honestly with a big smile.

...

...

...

..."Hello, everyone!" Charizard announced as he walked into the lobby of the "Silph Co" building, where several other Pokémon stood around, eyes widening as the dragon-esque Pokémon approached. "Great to see everyone again! How have you all been doing?"

"Well! Looks like the whole gang's finally here!" Eevee laughed. "Who got fat, who got bald, who got wrinkled and how many got wings?"

"Grey, you alright?" Samus asked calmly as Nick rested his body against the wall outside of Silph Co, trying to psyche himself up into going inside. He wanted to see them so very badly, well and truly he did, his mind was SCREAMING for the embrace of their arms again, but all his body wouldn't listen.

Samus "got it". A large portion of this kid's life had been proven to be false...the sweet, beautiful life he'd had with them had turned out to be nothing more than candyfloss. Empty, meant to be fattening and would most likely require a visit to the doctor due to too much indulging in it. She understood how it felt to have the life you cared for fall apart in front of you.

She wanted to say something. She did. She might not have personally LIKED him, but Nick was a nice kid, and it bothered her to see him in this state.

"Get a grip, Nick, get a grip." Kirby said, sitting on Nick's shoulder, rubbing his neck in a "Boxing coach" fashion. "You're gonna get in there and you're gonna DOMINATE you got that? You're not a man, you're a piece of IRON! C'mon! IRON!"

"...iron..." Nick mumbled.

"You...are...IRON!" Kirby growled triumphantly.

Nick's watch immediately began to belt out the powerful opening to "Iron Man" as Nick's head snapped up and his jaw set, brow furrowing as he turned and headed into the lobby of Silph Co, Link scratching his head in surprise.

"How very odd." He said. "No matter how many times I see that device in effect I continue to find it strange."

"Who knew that the Watch had more balls than he did?" Samus mused.

"So where is our beloved trainer anyhow?" Pidgeot inquired as Charizard turned slightly pale. How was he to tell them all?

It was then that he noticed Mewtwo looking at him. DIRECTLY at him. "...you remembered too?" Charizard asked.

"...yes." Mewtwo said quietly. "And from the looks of it...so did he." Mewtwo said, pointing behind Charizard at the teenager who now stood on the front carpet of the lobby at Silph Co.

"...wow." Nick said quietly, hands in his vest pockets. "...what a bunch of amazing Pokémon." He said with a small smile. "What a terrific crowd."

And suddenly it hit. All of the sorrow he'd been holding in made the momentary burst of courage and confidence crumble. It was much like watching a dam burst. It had started with that first crack...but slowly the cracks had spread, the structural integrity of Nick's heart fading until at last...

Now he did cry. He cried and cried, hitting the floor and weeping unashamedly because there was no way he could halt these tears on his own. And so, ever so gently, Pikachu walked up to him, placing a paw on Nick's shoulder as Charizard walked over as well, kneeling down and rubbing Nick's hair. Eevee came over too, his muzzle gently rubbing Nick's cheek as one by one the other Pokémon headed over and soon all were holding Nick in a firm, kind hug, save for Mewtwo who folded his arms, his paws gripping in tightly as he grit his teeth.

As they hugged, the veil fell away. The truth became clear in the minds of the other Pokémon as if some cosmic switch had been flicked. They knew what Nick and Mewtwo and Charizard knew.

Yet they hugged all the more tighter because of it.

_The necklace-wearing teenager had been drinking a lot of the soda in his hands while he'd been talking with his brother, but it wasn't all the way gone, which is why, when he threw it at the wall with a furious growl, the can spilled root beer all over the floor. _

"_**POKÉMON**__** WAS NOT DUMB**__!" He shouted angrily._

_His younger brother looked at him like he was a retarded, crazy lunatic. "Whatever, dick." He said, going back to his game. _

_The older teen walked off, heading outside through the back door of the kitchen. He sat down on his porch, looking down, sighing. _

_"It was NOT dumb…"_

_A gentle wind blew his hair a bit. He could vaguely recall the happy "do-da-do-da-da-do" of the game credits, the simple beauty of catching them all in his Christmas copy of "Pokémon Blue" and how wonderful it had felt to watch the series on television, how he'd continued to remain a fan. At first, Dave had been the fan. Nick had teased him._

_"You keep liking it too much, you'll get Poké-itis, and you'll TURN into a Pokémon!"_

_"Will not!"_

"_Yes you will, yes you will!"_

"...I...I just love you guys so much." Nick said quietly. "I always have. I know that the memories aren't real, but...but what's behind them...my love IS real." Nick insisted. "And it'll always be real."

Mewtwo grit his teeth and suddenly strode forward. "Nick, I...I need to do this."

The others moved aside to let him give Nick a hug, and as Nick did so, Mewtwo whispered in his ear. "Please. Forget about me."

And with that, Nick promptly vanished as the others gasped.

_The game of Pokémon...it had hooked him. He'd fallen for it. Hard. And he still loved it. _

_It __wasn't__ dumb…_

"_At least, not 5 years ago when it really mattered…" He said softly. He took out his GBA from his pocket. It was slightly translucent and light purple in color. "Pokémon Blue" was in the game slot. He held it gently in his hands. _

"_To __me__…"_


	14. Chapter 14

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

There's an old saying. "A little hair of the dog that bit you". Simple enough to understand: what made you ill will fix you right back up.

Yet in the world of Pokémon, the reverse was true, and this was what Mewtwo and the Legendaries feared. They had used human children from the "Real World" to create the paradise they inhabited, and at one point, yes, it had worked to their advantage. The "hair from the dog that bit them", humans like the ones that they felt had taken advantage of their kind had created everything they could have wished for. Yet now the tables were turned. Now a human from the real world had the power to destroy all of that.

They couldn't let that happen.

"Please, understand." Mewtwo said softly, spreading his arms out. "It's necessary to ensure this world's survival. I can't let you leave here unharmed."

"Did you miss that performance of us kicking your ass?" White said, holding up his fists, bouncing back and forth on his feet as he growled darkly. "Because we're more than happy to do an encore!"

"Unfortunately I can't let you do that." Lugia said, rising up high, his dark eyes glittering as he held his enormous wing/hands forth, balls of energy swirling around the open palms as he leveled them at our heroes.

"We spared your LIFE!" Erin shouted furiously.

"I'm grateful." Lugia said softly. "But I can't let you go after Mr. Grey, nor tell the Pokémon world of the truth. All of you are to be taken to a correctional facility."

"You mean a "prison". Don't beat around the bush. It disgusts me." Lucario growled.

"You don't understand." Another voice said quietly, as they felt the powerful presence of a new Pokémon entering the scene. Slowly descending from the sky like a cute, pink cat that God was giving as a Christmas gift to the world, Mew hovered down to the ground, her paws delicately touching down atop the roof. "Even if you bear our world no ill will, your attempt to tell the citizens of our home world the truth about how all this was made would create a crisis."

"No matter WHAT happened in the past, people NEED to know what happened." Samus suddenly announced, arms folded, standing up proudly as she took of her helmet, her hair billowing out behind her as if she was standing behind some noble, golden flag. "We might not have to like what happened, but to DENY what happened...that isn't right."

"Yeah, it's as dangerous as denying a genocide like the Holocaust occurred, or denying slavery of a people, or denying the advances that a teacher made on you when you were in high school. It might hurt to talk about the past, but you can't just cover it up! It's dishonest." Erin agreed.

"...you didn't actually-" Kirby asked, scratching his head.

"No, no, my teachers were all saints." Erin insisted.

"That kind of talk is idealistic patter." Mew said firmly, putting her hands on her hips, a small pout on her lips.

"Is it? Or is it that it's not CONVENIENT for you to accept what you've done?" Samus asked darkly.

Mew frowned darkly and held a paw up, a sudden burst of telekinetic power striking into Samus and knocking her into Erin as White snarled angrily, rushing at her with supersonic speed. "YOU BITCH!" He roared.

He had forgotten about Mew's long tail, and was tripped n the spot, flying through the air and hit the ground with a loud CRA-THRUCK as Mewtwo and Lugia held their palms up, telekinetic energy pinning the others to the ground while Mew calmly walked over to White, kneeling down by him.

"Normally we wouldn't bother with you in the way I have to now deal with you, but unfortunately, since you are part of Nick, that means you have the same power to bring ruin to our world."

"What the heck are you talking about?" White growled as Mew telekinetically held him to ground, shaking her head.

"I'm not going to simply tell you. You're a smart boy. I'm sure you can figure it out. Or rather, you WOULD have been able to figure it out, but unfortunately, I can't let you." Mew said simply.

There was a horrible, squelching, liquidly sound as Erin's eyes turned into horror-filled pinpricks, Alex gaping in disgust, Samus taking in a deep, sudden breath as the Pokémon let out respective cries of terror, Kirby fainting on the spot as Mew flicked a paw digit, the head flying to the side as the body slowly dissolved away into nothingness, the head going last. "Well." She said, licking some blood splatter off her body, cleaning herself. "Shall we get going?"

"...indeed." Mewtwo mumbled.

...

...

...

...they stood above the city, their leader resting one hand upon the roof they were "nested" at, looking almost like some kind of animalistic gargoyles. A powerful aura of command radiated out from their leader as clouds began to form overhead, swirling together to make an enormous blanket of charcoal above. Yet who was this leader? Where were "they"? WHO was "they"?

The leader could only be described as some kind of hedgehog, with quills thick and sharp jutting from down his head and his back, bright green eyes glittering like emeralds as he looked over the city. Their leader wore red and white shoes with white socks, as well as white gloves and something of a half smirk, half grin as he finally stood up, turning to the others.

"Well, I imagine all of you are pretty psyched about this, huh?" He asked. "I mean, we ain't done something like this before."

"Today we force them out of Station Square and take the fight to THEIR world." Another being said, a fox-like thing with two tails instead of one, with a youthful face made slightly weary by war and three locks jutting out from atop his head, as orange/yellow as the rest of his fur. His bright blue eyes looked over a map he held in his white-gloved hands as he pointed at a spot in Station Square: the subway. "The portal's located there. If we can get them into a bottleneck in just the right spot, we'll force them in easily."

"I'm ready." A red being said, dreadlocks falling down his back, purple eyes alit with burning desire. He wore thick gloves with sharp knuckles jutting forth, and oddly-interesting-looking shoes. "I'll knock 'em down whether they solid or frail!"

A figure leapt through the air onto the roof, bowing deeply and then rising back up. He wore a white robed outfit with a string of large pearls around his neck that looked vaguely shamanic, with green, scaly skin and a smooth underbelly, complete with golden/yellow eyes and sky-blue hair, spiked up like a Mohawk at the top with long locks falling down from the back. "The troops are in position. Shall Chaos, Solaris and I sound the charge?"

Sonic the Hedgehog stood up, putting a war helmet atop his head as he nodded, giving King the Snake a big thumbs up. "Go for it."

Elsewhere, a turtle-like creature with a red bandanna on his arm frowned as he held up a radio to his beaked mouth, trying desperately to get the thing to work with his other hand. "Sir! SIR! Our troops are pinned down in a Pinkberry and we can't go any further!" He called out into the radio.

"Can't you just use me to blow a hole in the-" A pink thing groaned. It was a round, bomb-shaped...well, it looked like what it was. A walking, talking bomb. It had a cute little bow on it's "fuse" and small tiny little shoes with little black pupils. Interestingly though, this "Bom-omb" had no mouth. How does one speak without a mouth? Telepathy?

"We can't blow a hole in the wall, they'd all come rushing in. The entire place is surrounded, remember?" A dinosaur-like creature with green scales and a white underbelly told her, shaking his head. "Bombette, we need a more creative idea."

"I meant blow a hole in the ground." Bombette said simply. "We can get out of here through the subway tunnels that run through the city below."

"That's actually a good idea!" Kooper the Koopa said, turning his head. "Sir, we're going to rendezvous with you at the subway!"

"Okeydokey!" An Italian plumber from Brooklyn said, grinning broadly as he adjusted the red army cap he was wearing, his blue suspenders contrasting with the red shirt he wore, his brown shoes nervously tapping on the ground beneath him as water dripped down from a nearby subway pipe a bit too close for comfort to his radio. "Don't get caught!" Mario warned them.

Bombette readied herself at the center of the Pinkberry as the assorted turtle-things, walking bombs and what could only be described as anthropomorphic toadstools quickly ran to the sides of the building to avoid an explodey fate. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" Bombette roared out.

"What was that?" A hawk-like being inquired, watching the pinkberry with a large platoon of avian-esque troops, his clawed hands gripping the roof. He had a feathered body with a large headdress, white feathers that looked as pure as freshly fallen snow with talons on his hands and feat and a teal outfit that resembled the clothes of Ancient Egyptian royalty. This being known as Solaris held up his radio. "Something just happened in the Pinkberry. We're going in to check it out."

Several dozen eagles and hawks flew down from the roof, bursting down the doors of the Pinkberry Ice Cream store, find it completely empty, an enormous hole in the center of the floor. "They got away!" A green-feathered hawk with a set of goggles atop his head growled.

_The plan is simple enough. _

_I deal with their leader. The rest of them clear an enormous amount of Station Square civilians out of harm's way. _

"**Our platoon has things under control, we're forcing our enemies to the subway."** Another platoon leader, one that appeared to be made of water, spoke into a radio of it's own as a platoon of various mammals forced a large force of "koopas" (the aforementioned turtle creatures) and "bom-ombs" back, several dozen "Toads" (the mushroom/toadstool things) yelling angrily as they were pushed into the entrance of the subway.

_Stall him, keep him busy whilst the others make the playing field clear. _

"And I am-GAH! HAH!...taking care of things...on my end as well!" King the Snake announced as he clipped his radio to his arm, using a scimitar to force several koopas into another subway entrance along with his platoon. "You're positively certain you're getting them all?"

**"Absolutely."** The being made of water insisted, green eyes gazing at the subway entrance. It looked quite strong, with hands that had three big, long sharp claws, feet made up of two watery talons and three "horn's" on it's head, two curving down, one protruding up. It also had two small protrusions next to its eyes, also curving down, with a brain floating in the "head" region as it waved it's arm in the air, motioning for it's troops to move forward. **"We've just got the last one in."**

_You have the advantage. He doesn't know what you can do. This isn't his "home turf". You have the advantage. _

Meanwhile, another fight of a more vicious nature was occurring some ways away, in Main Street as a creamy-white colored rabbit with brown-tipped ears and a yellow-furred flying squirrel helped a plant-like being with rosebuds atop her head move several hundred civilians clear of the soon-to-be-disaster zone.

"Come on, this way, this way!" Cream the Rabbit said, helping a child up from the ground as she patted dust off of the little one's body. People were running as fast as they could to escape the line of fire, specifically, the line of gunfire that a black-furred hedgehog with a furry white chest and an organish muzzle was leveling out at his opponent, a being that could only be described as some sort of giant turtle/lizard/dragon, complete with a spiked shell, a thick mane of red hair, sharp claws and a rather large nose.

"I don't think I can keep this up...never thought I'd think that, but I don't think I can keep this up." Shadow the Hedgehog murmured to himself as Bowser, the King of the Koopas curled up into his shell, the bullets ricocheting harmlessly off of him. "ARE YOU FINISHED YET?" He called back at the others, turning his head slightly, an annoyed expression flickering across his features.

"We've got the last of them out of the way! Go for it!" Ray the Flying Squirrel called out to Shadow.

_Part two of the plan. Like I said, it was a simple enough plan. Get the civilians to safety while moving all of King Pooper-Scooper's troops into the subway. I stall until they're all in place and then..._

Bowser popped out of his shell, rushing towards Shadow, a strong fist striking him across the face as the Koopa King laughed darkly. "You'll have to do far better than your little cap guns to stop me!" His heavy bass voice chuckled.

_Then I put this fat lug's jaw through the top of his head._

__Shadow's foot shot out and Bowser's head snapped back as he began to teeter backwards.

"WHEN!" Shadow roared, slamming a fist into Bowser's face over and over. "WILL! YOU! SHUT! UP!" The black hedgehog growled, a reddish/black blaze of energy swirling around his body as he thrust his hands forward, gripping Bowser's stomach as the turtle/dragon looked down, gaping. "CHAOS!"

"Ohcrap." Bowser groaned.

"BLAST!"

A huge, domed, glowing red energy blast rose up from the area, as lightning split the air all around, Bowser being forcibly launched like a spinning top down Main Street. He let out a long, pained, drawn-out roar as his body spun through the air, bouncing across the street like he was a stone being skipped. He bounded down a stairway that led into the subway system and collided hard with a now-sore platoon of troops as they all fell together in a pile, moaning and groaning. "I hurt...in places...that don't exist." Bowser managed to grumble out, realizing that he was...

Now lying perfectly on his back, his arms and legs suspended too far from the ground to help him push himself back up. He promptly began to tear up.

"Oh no. Wait, Bowser, no!" A sweet-looking woman in a glittering pink dress groaned, quickly running over to him and waving a little yellow rubber ducky toy in his face. "Who's my happy Bowsie?" She asked, the tiara atop her blonde head almost slipping off.

"WAAAAAAAAUUUHHH!"

"YOU'RE my Happy Bowsie!"

"This explains SO much." Mario whispered to Bombette, a green, large pipe sticking out of the ground far behind them as they heard the footsteps of Station Square's defenders heading towards the subway. "Quick, everyone!" Mario yelled out, waving his hands in the air as he leapt up and down. "Into the Warp Pipe, FAST!"

"You're not getting away that easy!" Sonic's voice yelled out from one of the entrances to the subway as the platoons tried to make a blockade so that Mario and the rest of the leaders of their forces could enter the pipe first.

"Stand aside lest ye be dealt with!" King the Snake said firmly, holding his scimitar up and pointing it at the platoon. "I offer you a chance to leave. I'm giving you ten seconds to step out of the way." The serpent anthro insisted as several horses moved forward, guns at the ready.

"Don't you dare touch them!" Princess Peach Toadstool said, her tiara almost falling off her head again as she bravely strode forward, arms held up and stretched out, refusing to let all of his horses or any of King's men go through.

"Milady, stand back!" One of the Toads insisted.

"Peach, quick, get into the pipe!" Bowser roared out, rushing to her side.

"Yes! Don't you-a touch her!" Mario growled angrily, quickly taking out something from his pocket that appeared to be some kind of flower which burnt like a bright fire's ember. But before he could do anything, there was a strange, odd sound.

BOOP.

And just like that, a figure appeared in the subway. A figured named Nick Grey. He blinked stupidly, looking around...noticing Bowser having one hand on Peach's shoulder, not seeing the surprised Mario behind him or the armies that were gaping in shock at this human that had just popped into existence from out of nowhere.

Naturally Nick assumed what most would have assumed: Bowser was up to no good. So he quickly jumped forward, grabbing ahold of Peach and sweeping her up into his arms as he leapt through the air, landing by a stairway that led into the subway, nodding firmly at her as Bowser blinked stupidly. "I got you, princess! You're safe now!"

"Wh-whuh?" Peach mumbled out.

"Well that was convenient." King announced cheerily, holding up a three-digited, clawed hand at Bowser. "AEROGA!"

A swirling wind rushed around King's robes, forming a greenish/white orb of wind that shot forth, spiraling trails jutting out from behind it as it barreled into the Koopa King with the force of a tornado touching down. He was sent spiraling around the subway, bashing into his own troops like a pinball being tilted, knocking them one by one into the pipe.

"Ten...fifteen...twenty...twenty five..." Chaos counted off cheerily as the last of the enemy troops were knocked in, Knuckles the Echinda calmly picking Bowser up by his tail and twirling him around and around, throwing him through the air. Bowser collided hard with a stupefied Mario and the two were knocked into the warp pipe as Peach angrily glared at Nick.

"Unhand me you, you CAD!" She shouted, slapping his face, making Nick let go of her. He rubbed his cheek, looking clearly confused as she turned away from him in a huff. "You foul villain! Trying to keep me from my protector! You have no shame, all of you sapients!"

"Hey lady, WE didn't start this war. YOU did." Sonic said, pointing an accusatory finger at Princess Peach. "You're the one who came into OUR world and tried to take over!"

"Don't try to lie to me." Peach said, lifting her head up. "You were planning to attack our world. We found incontrovertible proof! Nobody from our side will believe your lies." She said as a pair of handcuffs were slapped onto her.

"I'm loathe to do this to a lady, but I've no choice." King said simply. "What shall we do with her?"

"She IS their princess. They'll be back for her. I think...yeah, I think we can work out a trade." Tails the Fox spoke up, his two tails curling around his feet slightly. "They can have her back so long as they don't plan on coming back to our world."

"And let you have last licks?" A voice roared out. A moment later, a Toad with a white and red-capped head popped out from underneath Princess Peach's dress, holding some kind of frying pan up and whacking Sonic across the face.

"AAA!" All of the troops yelled.

"**REVENGE! REVENGE!**" Toad cried out bravely, whacking Sonic over and over.

"Heh. Who SAYS men can't use a skillet?" Peach giggled, holding her long-gloved hands over her mouth as Chaos pulled Toad off of Sonic, Sonic nursing a very sore, nearly broken jaw and a black eye...a couple teeth falling out of his mouth.

"I'm guh-nuh nee da 'ee uh doctuh." Sonic mumbled out as he rubbed his cheek. "Let's uh ed bah ta da base."

"Wait, hold on a moment, who's this guy?" An elephant anthro inquired, pointing at Nick as Nick nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"...no idea." Tails said, scratching his head.

"He SEEMS familiar, though." Shadow admitted. "And since he did assist us, let's give him the benefit of the doubt. For now." The black hedgehog added with a bit of a dark grin.

"Think of yourself not as a "hostages" so much as a "guest-ages"!" A female hedgehog said. She had a pink body, her quills hanging down from her head like thick locks, with green eyes and a very cute red dress. She patted Peach on the head, then Toad, then Nick, who scratched his head. This was all happening rather fast, and all rather...surreal.

...

...

...

...as Nick sat on a chair some distance from the handcuffed Toad and Princess Peach, King the Snake standing nearby as his guard, he scratched his head again, an odd feeling filling him. A strange, disconcerting feeling.

Nick had been in a hurricane once before as a child. They were terrifying to live through...one truly did feel the force that was Nature, and he had been through what was known as the "Eye of the Storm", when all of the calamity and rage around you came to a stop.

That...was the most frightening part. Maybe because you realized in that moment that the whole world around you was going to cave in again. That icy terror of knowing that the very worst of the hell you were to endure was moments away from striking...

That was the feeling that was creeping up on him. Something terrible was about to happen. And as he watched the rest of the "Station Square Defense League" stand around a table discussing their plans, he noticed that Peach was glaring right at him.

"Look, I didn't KNOW he wasn't trying to hurt you, really!" Nick insisted. "Usually Bowser's the one kidnapping you, so I assumed-"

"Hmph." Peach gave him a glare and folded her arms in her lap as best she could. "That's what everyone always assumes. Bowser happens to treat me much more nicely than you'd think. The worst "torture" he ever did was making me be his game partner in "Barbie: Pony Detective"." She informed Nick.

"You lived through a Barbie game? That's impressive." Amy the Hedgehog admitted as she stood nearby, brushing her pink locks to the side. "It is like, SUCH a boring series!"

"Yes, I prefer strategic games, to be truthful. I'm quite the "Risk" fan."

"...oh really?" King the Snake inquired. "You play?"

"I'm...adequate." Peach said humbly, giving the serpent sapient a bit of a nervous look. It was probably the whole "giant snake is talking" factor that made her creeped out.

"...one moment." King said, heading to the nearby closet, pulling out a "Risk: Anniversary Edition". "Shall we?"

"Should we really be playing a board game with the prisoner?" Amy wanted to know.

"It's not like she could leave our base anyhow." Sonic said, a sling around his jaw. "She can play...if I can play." He added with a grin.

"Well, won't THIS be satisfying." Peach commented with a grin.

TEN MINUTES LATER...

"This is OUTRAGEOUS! I'm in control of all of Asia! Yet you beat me with just half of Eastern Europe?" King moaned, slamming his head into the table. "I've actually been to war. How could I have been bested so quickly?"

"If I were you, good sir, I wouldn't worry. My queen's biggest ability lies in being the undefeated champion of all board games." Toad said proudly as Peach held her hand over her mouth, blushing slightly with pride.

"I can't believe I actually lost first." Sonic admitted, shaking his head.

"The game's called "Risk", but you never took any." Nick admonished him, having watched the whole game from start to finish, silently cheering for Peach to win. "Nice job, Mrs. Toadstool." He complimented Peach.

"It's, "Ms", not "Mrs"." Peach explained. "I'm, uh...not married."

"That reminds me. If you're "Princess", then where's your dad? The King? Or your mom, for that matter?" Nick wanted to know. It was odd how suddenly comfortable everyone had gotten thanks to a Milton-Bradley game.

"...well, uh...actually...there's this law..." Peach said nervously. "In order for me to become a queen, I actually have to marry somebody, and...well..." She nervously put one lock of her hair into her mouth, chewing slightly in anxiousness. "I just...it's..."

"Hard to make the commitment, right?" Sonic asked. "Believe me, I've been there and back again." He said sympathetically, looking over at Amy, who nodded and smiled at him before heading off to the girl's bathroom. Sonic then held up a finger, showing off a small ring. "She gave me this engagement ring. We marry in a week. And now my feet aren't just feeling fast, but REALLY cold." He added.

"You're gonna TELL Amy, right?" Tails wanted to know, folding his arms.

"How can I?" Sonic asked. "She's so psyched about this, and I really, really like her."

"But do you love her?" Nick wanted to know. "I know you two have dated before, the idea of you marrying her isn't such a far-off idea, but do you like-like her?"

"...how do you know about us dating?" Sonic wanted to know.

Nick sighed. "Alright. I'll explain." Nick said, taking a deep breath and leaning back against the wall. "I'm from a different reality wherein all of you are fictional characters in different video game series. Sonic, you're in the rival to the series that Peach belongs to, and I once entered your world before to help you and your friends out against dark forces of evil. But then I had to leave because I can only stay as long as I'm really needed, and you all forgot about me. Even King." Nick said, jabbing his thumb in King's direction.

"No, I haven't forgotten you." King said nonchalantly.

"WHAT?" Nick exclaimed, eyes widening.

"WHAT?" The others all yelled out, wheeling around towards the snake.

"Is he telling the truth?" Sonic asked.

"Quite." King said, nodding firmly.

"None of us are...I think I'm gonna be sick." Cream the Rabbit moaned, holding her stomach.

"Give her air, give her air!" Ray said, fanning her off with a book along with several others as Peach looked Nick over.

"Tell me." She wanted to know. "You said he was a "rival". Does this mean he's fought with Mario before and we all...forgot about it? Was...was Mario the dark force that you helped this hedgehog battle previously?"

"No. It was a being named Nazo." Nick said, shaking his head. "Why?"

Peach suddenly became pale. Nick realized why in an instant. "Somebody told you that Mario had entered Sonic's world before and been fought off."

"...yes."

"And after being fought off, they were planning on invading your world to get even."

"...yes."

"...Peach...who told you this?" Nick asked nervously.

Then it happened. The eye of the storm faded. The hurricane hit. An enormous, powerful blast of energy tore the roof off of the military base they were huddled within as they turned their heads to see what could only be described as an enormous, gloved hand that floated in the center of the sky, energy crackling around it like static electricity.

"Master Hand." Peach whispered.

...

...

...

...Princess Zelda's horse came to a halt as she and the Link who was not really Link dismounted, heading up the hill and into Kakriko Village, passing by even more quaint little houses of stone, arriving at a fairly large house located some distance from the main plaza of Kakariko Village and it's enormous tree. This house seemed older than all the others, it had something of an "old person smell" with cracks running up and down it's walls and dust so heavily collected on the windows that it was impossible to see inside!

Zelda walked up to the front door and knocked once. Then twice. She tried to ignore the staring people that were watching from all around, looking at her like she was a bug in a jar.

There came a sound from the inside. "Who is it?" A voice called out, subdued and controlled with a faint low tone to it.

"Is this the residence of one Mr. Gobbong?"

"Aye." The voice responded simply. "Who wishes to know?"

"My name is Zelda. Princess Zelda." She spoke up loudly. "Might me and my dear friend come in and speak with you?

"...very well."

The door opened slowly, and a rank, musty smell filled their nostrils as if an attic window was being opened, dozens of years of rancid odors finally getting the chance to leave. The two scrunched their noses up and entered the house, looking at a rather odd choice of paint job and even odder decorations filling the home.

The entire house's walls were covered in dark purple paint, with the faintest, barely visible indentation of a single eye an ever-so-lighter shade of purple repeated over and over, stretching out across the walls. There were pictures, hand-drawn charcoal sketches of creatures and people drawn with small captions underneath indicating when they'd been drawn and what the drawings were of. There were several dozen wax sculptures of creatures standing by the stairway leading up to the second floor, and a kitchenette nearby that smelled strongly of spices.

Most noticeable of all was the set of double doors that had a large eye insignia painted on the front. Pushing them open, Zelda found they led to a set of stairs that would take them down to the one sort of place she had honestly hoped she wouldn't have to meet with this historian...the basement.

Why did it have to be the basement?

Gently taking her hand and squeezing it slightly, The fake Link led her down into the dimly lit basement, a single oil lamp attached to the wall providing the only light therein, showing off another door that had the same eye symbol on the front of it. Now though, Zelda recognized where she'd seen it, for this symbol as no longer painted in purple, but blood red.

"This is the symbol for the legendary Shekiah, warriors who mastered the art of Stealth tactics." Zelda realized, her hand passing over the symbol as she looked at it in awe. "I wonder if Mr. Gobbong is related to them?" She mused out loud as she opened the door, walking into an enormous, inky-black chamber with the Link who wasn't really Link following behind her.

The door suddenly shut as Zelda whirled around in surprise, a dark, deep voice echoing out. "You. What do you seek?"

"Are you Mr. Gobbong? We wish to know what you know about the creation of Hyrule. We wish to know about the Goddesses." Zelda shouted out to the darkness, vaguely aware that something, SOMETHING was somehow watching them, stalking them, each new minute bringing a sharper sense of fear.

"...what you desire to learn of is most...unpleasant. You will not be able to look at the Goddesses with respect ever again." The voice spoke up. "I am willing to let you keep your ignorance so that you may remain in bliss."

"No matter what might have happened in the past, if we know about it, we can make some kind of counter-measure." Zelda reasoned.

"Please, tell us everything." The fake Link insisted.

"...I'll only speak to the woman." The voice said. "YOU'RE to leave."

"...as you wish."

"Link" headed towards the door as it slowly opened, allowing him to exit the room. A moment later it shut again as purple torches lit up all around Zelda in a circle, revealing herself to be within the center of some kind of platform made out of vaguely stretchy-looking material...an enormous figure standing some distance from her, looking out at her with a single, solitary red eye. It was sitting behind some kind of desk, but due to the selective lighting of the torches, all she could really see besides that single, glowing red eye was a large set of hands that were steepling their fingers against each other.

"...so...what shall we talk about?" Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong asked softly.


	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

"What have you DONE?" Erin shrieked in horror, hands flying to her mouth as Mewtwo stepped away from where Nick had been, the others gazing in fury, fear and surprise at the scene. "How could you do that?"

"I'm sorry." Mewtwo spoke solemnly. "But I can't allow him to interfere. Nor can I allow you or your friend either." He added sadly, raising his paws at Erin and Alex, slamming the two together, telekinetically freezing them.

"STOP!" Lucario roared out, rushing forward with the other Pokémon...

Unfortunately that's when the skies suddenly split open. All of the world around them began to shake as a figure descended from the skies, green eyes aglow, the red pupils flaring brightly as a blast of bright light froze everyone the mighty being saw "guilty". In an instant Samus, Kirby, Link and the Pokémon had all collapsed on the ground and were unable to move as...as HE descended from the skies.

Arceus.

_"My God."_ Pikachu whispered, staggering to his feet, his body swaying back and forth.

"Everyone keeps saying that." Arceus commented calmly, his equine form hovering in the air, smooth white coat glistening brightly. Beneath was a gray, vertically-striated underside, the pattern of which was similar to the underside of Arceus's mane, tail, and face. In addition, the enormous 300 pound Pokémon was had a golden cross-like wheel attached to its body by its round abdomen which glowed brightly, shimmering with a vaguely purplish/white light...psychic power, from the looks of it.

Landing upon the roof on it's golden hooves, Arceus nodded firmly at Mewtwo, who nervously bowed his head as Pikachu clenched his fist tightly. "You...sold...us...out?" He snarled. "After all we've done for you! After everything Nick-"

"If you informed the Pokémon public of what had happened, this world will DIE, do you understand?" Mewtwo yelled furiously. "EVERYTHING will be turned into a desolate wasteland! All of the effort everyone in this world has put forth into trying to lead happy lives will be erased in an instant should the truth be known, and I-I CANNOT let that happen!" The psychic Pokémon shouted, his body shaking visibly. "I CANNOT! Don't you understand?"

"...you're a fool." Pikachu said quietly, shaking his head back and forth.

"You won't...get away with this." Samus managed to get out as she began to fade out of consciousness.

"Allow me to respond to your tired and worn cliché with another. **I already have**." Arceus said softly, shaking his head. "Pikachu...Pikachu...**why **do you hate this world?" Arceus inquired of Pikachu as the others hovered in a circle around his majestic body, spinning slightly as if he was a planet and they were his many moons, a slightly annoyed, vaguely amused expression flickering across his features.

"Sometimes protecting people isn't the right way to go! Sometimes you have to just face the truth!" Pikachu snapped, his body sparkling with electricity.

_"He actually means to attack Arceus?" _Mewtwo thought to himself, looking horrified.

"Maybe the entire world WILL be turned to a wasteland, but as long as I am living my life the best I can, trying to make this world into a better place...and as long as others do as I do...then it doesn't MATTER what the world around us looks like, at least WE can sleep soundly at night!" Pikachu insisted. "When you think about what you've done..." He added quietly, turning on Mewtwo, shaking his head slowly back and forth.

Arceus was no longer amused. There was a flash of bright light anew...

_"...how are YOU going to sleep?"_

...

...

...

...Everyone stood almost stock still, watching as Peach gazed up in horror and awe at the floating figure in the darkened sky that was Master Hand. A strange, tingling sort of energy seemed to fill the air, a nasty, prickling sensation that was spreading through their bodies.

"Ugh, my head's swimming..." Sonic muttered, holding onto his head with one hand.

"What IS this magic?" King inquired, the tingling feeling giving him something of a migraine.

"You LIED to us, Master Hand! And you tricked Mario into believing the lie you put forth!" Peach said furiously, an angry glare rising in her eyes as she stomped her foot firmly upon the ground, drawing herself to full regality. NOW she looked more like a queen than a princess, no more light-heartedness in her voice, no more dainty smile. There was naught but cold fury.

"And if I did?" Master Hand laughed. "It really doesn't matter. You might have broken the spell upon you, but I am NOT going to let that annoyance interfere again." He told her, momentarily "glancing" over in Nick's direction as the teenager blinked stupidly.

"We will NOT let you kill him." Peach said, quickly striding in front of Nick and holding her arms up. "I understand now. Since he is not from our worlds, he has seen the **truth**, his words are the key to freeing my beloved friends from your sorcery! THAT'S why you want him dead!"

Nick realized something. Something that explained his very purpose in all of the worlds he'd encountered. He wasn't just the only one who could help Mario and the others realize they'd been lied to, no. He and his friends who had entered the worlds as "visitors" were the only ones capable of having beguiled heroes like Samus or Link or Kirby realize the truth.

"If it was to be, it is up to me." Nick whispered. "Up to US. We're the only ones who can do it..."

"Clever little brat, figuring it out so quick!" Master Hand snapped, snapping his fingers.

SHA-THWOOOOOM! A bolt of icy-blue lightning raced down from his hand, sparkling fingerbeams which slammed into Nick and sent him spiraling through the air and colliding with Knuckles, who collapsed in a heap.

"OW..." Knuckles grunted, picking himself up, looking down at Nick, who was blinking stupidly...frozen in an odd, sprawled-out pose. "Well? C'mon, get up."

"...uhm-tuh-ihn..." Nick mumbled out, an attempt to say "I'm trying" his body shaking madly, but his limbs refused to move. It was as if he'd been placed in an all-body cast...he was utterly frozen!

"You won't be cured of THAT in a hurry." Master Hand said, his voice as sweet as honey. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off, over the river and through the woods, to Mario's house I go! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" He cackled, soaring through the air over the city as the others nervously looked around at each other.

"Peach, um...I don't suppose if YOU talked to your friends, they'd believe you about that "Master Hand" being...well...evil?" Tails inquired, nervously biting his lip as he scratched the back of his head.

"Maybe if I could get close enough to Mario...maybe." Peach insisted. "But I'm not sure...Master Hand's magical powers are greater than anyone else I've known." She admitted, resting upon the ground, holding her head in her hands and shaking it back and forth. "He's probably telling them I've been hypnotized by that snakey friend of yours right now."

"...it's alright, I'm...used to that sort of thing by now." King sighed, bowing his head and letting out a bit of a groan.

"What are we going to do about Bowser and HIS troops? That big lug doesn't seem the reasonable type." Amy Rose wanted to know. "He could be planning to attack us right now!"

"I'll tell you what he's NOT doing. He's NOT going to be enjoying a nice set of campfire stories with his children tonight!" Rouge the Bat laughed, holding up a small, pinkish/red diary with a tiny little golden seal reading "Property of Bowser Koopa" on the front.

"Ma'am, that's the man's personal diary! It contains all his most deepest, most secret, innermost thoughts!" Peach said, an offended look coming to her eyes. "...but...**whenever** did you get it?" She added, a faint look of interest creeping on her face.

"Stole it from his pocket when he wasn't lookin', sugar." Rouge said with a toothy grin. "And I got this from the green guy's pocket." She added, holding up another wallet and taking out a small picture from within. "...hmm." She commented, looking at a photograph within.

Knuckles sighed, rolling his eyes. "Rouge, **really**?"

"Thief." Rouge told him with a smile, pointing at herself and striking a seductive pose.

"That woman better stay away from my prized possessions." Solaris told Chaos as he patted the fine stallion he'd been riding on, momentarily going through the knapsacks hanging from said stallion's saddle. "...oh DAMMIT, she's completely cleaned me out!" Solaris snarled as Chaos laughed, a bubbling, vaguely squeaky noise coming from his mouth.

"Wait a minute." Tails said, eyes widening. "A campfire? Rouge, does it say anything else in that diary?" He wanted to know, quickly striding over to her side as the others crowded around, King carrying Nick over to the group.

"Oh, plenty! Let's see..." Rouge flipped back to the section that mentioned the campfire. "Tomorrow night we'll be grilling weenies over the campfire and telling stories. It'll be nice for me to reconnect with my children. I know this whole experience has been tough on them. I also think it might be time for "The Talk"..."

"The what?" Cream asked, tilting her head to the side as Tails scratched his head.

"...wait...does he mean...the Birds and the Bees talk?" Sonic asked.

"Apparently." Rouge said. "...woah. He's got EIGHT kids? King Koopa's a sex machine...wait. Waaaaaait." Rouge slowly looked up from the diary, glancing in Peach's direction. "...Princess...you never...I mean..." She murmured.

"What? Oh, no, no." The princess insisted. "I've...well, I've never done such a thing with ANYONE." She told them all. "Bowser's not that sort of person, I assure you. The most unpleasant thing he ever really did to me was make me play "Free Riders" with him."

Jet the Hawk whimpered, a single tear falling down his feathery cheek as he sniffed, walking off to leave the fanfic forever.

"Well, he's having a campfire tomorrow night in the woods. I don't think they'll try to invade the city through the portal here, but if this diary is true, then there MIGHT be a portal from their world into our world in the forest outside the city grounds!" Tails realized.

"That Master Hand guy DID sing that "over the river" stuff..." Sonic admitted. "I think he mighta just given Mario away."

"Well, we'd best get a move on, then." Tails insisted. "The forest is really hard to navigate even in normal weather and just on a simple hike, with all the people we have here it'll take a day to get there. The sooner we leave, the better."

"I just hope that there isn't any bad weather. It would make things even worse if it started to rain, the forest would get all muddy and we'd be sloughing around like pigs...no offense, Chaim." Sonic added towards a porker nearby who was munching on a Hershey bar.

"None taken." Chaim said, bowing slightly, his yarmulke almost falling off.

"Or if it snows." Knuckles wondered out loud.

"Why would it snow? It's JUNE." Rouge said, shaking her head.

Well, it wasn't long before all of Station Square's defenders were heading off for the forest, Knuckles carrying Nick on his back, the human looking like he wanted to cry. He was being treated like a **backpack**, for Pete's sakes. He'd endured a lot of things, but THIS? This took the cake.

"_**Buffalo Gal, won'tcha come out tonight, won'tcha come out tonight, won'tcha come out tonight! Buffalo Gal, won'tcha come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon!"**_ Vector the Crocodile sang out as Charmy the Bee banged a tambourine against his butt, Espio the Chameleon and Mighty the Armadillo playing wind instruments as Ray the Flying Squirrel fiddled away on a fiddle, everyone dancing along as they made their way through the forest.

"Ah, I just LOVE this song." Rouge said, her head bouncing back and forth. "My ma used to sing it to me to help me go to sleep back in The Big Easy."

"**I was THERE when they first made this song."** Chaos admitted to Solaris.

"You've met the Buffalo Gal?" Solaris inquired.

**"Charming woman. Not as sophisticated as the Elephant Man. He was quite the ****poet laureate!****" **

"So, what's it like, being a princess?" Amy wanted to know of Peach as they strode side by side, Amy ducking underneath a branch momentarily as they passed by some ferns.

"Well..." Princess Peach tapped her chin. "You have to be very careful in diplomatic affairs with other countries and have an intimate knowledge of the law..."

"So that means paperwork?" Amy asked.

"UGH. I wish it would all just...blow away." Peach sighed. "You also need to make sure that the taxes on the city aren't heavy, and you need to set up committees to clean up whatever messes chain chomps might make when they get loose from the zoo...I'm usually the one who also opens up all of the new stores and community buildings as well. That's fun though, because after I make my speech and cut the ribbon, we all get to enjoy a nice party." She added with a wistful smile.

"Yeah, whenever Sonic and the others save the world, we usually get a party thrown for us at Station Square, actually. The best part's always the doves."

"Doves?" Peach asked, her eyes widening in interest.

"Picture this." Amy said eagerly, a grin spreading across her face as she began to paint a vivid visual image in the princess's head. "We've just stopped a giant space station from blowing up the Earth. We make our way back to Earth where EVERYONE in Station Square has gathered. That's when a thousand pure-white doves are released into the air by a bird-wrangler as everyone rearranges themselves to spell out "Thank You" in big, capital letters, jumping up and down as a marching band prances around us, lifting us onto their shoulders as they belt out "We are the Champions"."

"...woooooow..." Peach whispered, her hand going to her mouth.

"Oh yeah. It's good to be the king." Sonic said, putting one arm around Amy as he saddled up next to her, kissing her on the forehead.

"_**Buffalo Gal, won'tcha come out tonight, won'tcha come out tonight, won'tcha come out tonight! Buffalo Gal, won'tcha come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon!"**_

"Buh-fuh-loh-gah-wunchuh-cuh-muh-tah-nuh, cum-muh-tah-nuh..." Nick mumbled out as best he could.

"We'll cure you eventually." King insisted gently. "I'll think up SOMETHING." He told his friend, flipping through a small notebook of spells. "...big head...no. Superjump? No. Infinite Lives...no...hmm. "Justin Bailey's Special Surprise"..."

Nick's eyes widened and he tried to shake his head. "Nuhhh! Nuuuuh! NUUUUH!"

"You know, it's really getting dark out." Tails admitted as Cream yawned, setting off a chain reaction of yawning. "Maybe we should set up camp for the night."

"Yoooooou're probably right." Sonic yawned out. "Guess it can't hurt...we're halfway there anyhow."

...

...

...

... "Auh dahn." Nick muttered the next morning, body shivering with cold as snow continued to fall over the campsite, blanketing everything in chilling whiteness.

"Oh GOD!" Rouge screamed, tugging at her hair as she stumbled through the snow, shaking her husband back and forth. "We're MAROONED!"

"It must be a freak snow storm. Never thought I'd actually SEE one." Sonic admitted, nervously shivering as he and Amy stood together by what remained of the campfire, everyone emerging from their tents.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry!" King apologized, quickly going over to Nick, blushing visibly. "Who just left him up against a tree?" He roared out.

"Oiiilcaahn." Nick wisecracked, trying not to cry at the fact that every part of his body felt like it had dropped below 20 degrees.

"We're gonna be fine. I mean yeah, sure, everything looks the same for miles and miles..." Tails admitted as they all glanced around the forest. "And the snow's really too thick for us to get very far at all..." He added, his voice slowly losing it's cheerfulness. "But we're going to be fine. We've still got some food left..."

"Yeah! We'll be fine!" Cream said nervously, clinging to her pet chao as her mother patted her on the head. "Just...just fine! So Christmas came a little early! We'll be fine!"

"This here is just bad luck." Mighty sighed as he gestured over at the Chaotix, who were all huddled together, almost totally frozen over...hey, what did you expect? Two of them were reptiles and another was an insect.

"Uh, Chaos? Sir, are you alright?" Chaim inquired, tapping Chaos on the head. Regrettably, the poor being had completely frozen over. This was the problem with being made of water. "...oh dear."

"How come YOU'RE not f-f-f-freezing?" Vector wanted to know of King as the serpent sapient set up a campfire with a Fire spell.

"My robe keeps me warm and toasty." King explained, pointing at his garb with a small smile. "Blended wool and silk."

"Uh...what're we gonna do for food? We've only got a few tins of crackers and peanut butter left...and there's only one more box of juice..." Knuckles admitted as he looked through their supplies.

"Well, uh...we'll just have to wait here until the snow stops." Sonic decided. "But c'mon! We'll be fine, right?" He asked everyone.

"I'm not sure about this, sir..." the pig from earlier before admitted.

"NOBODY'S gonna turn on anybody because of stupid snow." An equine soldier insisted proudly.

"Yes, we're all friends here." Princess Peach proclaimed, nodding her head sagely.

"It's the Donner Party all over again!" A reindeer sobbed, covering his face with his hooved hands.

"**SHHHH!" **Everyone hissed at him.

"Hey...hey, where's Captain Shadow going?" A monkey sapient inquired, noticing Shadow had holstered a rifle and was heading out into the woods.

"Probably to shoot some game-" King began to say, realizing only too late what had just come out of his mouth.

"OH MY **GOOOD**!" Amy screamed, prompting Sonic to put his hand over her mouth as the rest of the camp became filled with shrieks of fear.

"Amy, cool it! Shadow's our friend!" Sonic insisted as Shadow vanished into the woods. "There's no reason to get crazy"

**"They were ALL friends at Donner Pass!" **The reindeer from before wept.

Well, it wasn't long before all of them were huddled around the bonfire King had set up, nervously looking at each other.

"**Know that I have now felt your pain."** Chaos informed Nick, who mumbled out some kind of agreement.

An owl called out through the woods as several of them looked over in the direction of the Avian Brigade. "Phil."

"Sorry." The owl said.

"Not helping. Really not helping." Chaim the pig insisted.

"...I'm scared." Cream murmured, clinging tightly to her mother as the two of them held each other closely, Cheese the Chao squeaking out in agreement.

"...well..." Ray the Flying Squirrel sighed as he shook his head back and forth. "**Still** no sign this storm will let up. It's a miracle this fire's still goin'." He added, nodding at King.

"Yes...how long is it?" Rouge wanted to know of King.

"That's a rather personal question to ask any organic, ma'am." Omega the Robot commented, sitting far away enough from everyone else so that nobody could accidentally get stuck to his metal frame.

"You stupid GIT!" Nack the Weasel snapped furiously. "She meant how long is it we've been stuck here in the snow!"

"You've destroyed the whole atmosphere." Peach said, shaking her head back and forth.

"I'm sorry?" Omega said, his voice sounding vaguely confused.

"Oh, _shhh_! Let's try this again. How long is it?" Nack asked of King.

"I think we've been stuck here for a good 13 hours." The Serpent anthro sighed as Vector, Charmy and Espio all huddled next to him and his toasty robe.

"I don't think we can hold up much longer..." Vanilla the Rabbit murmured.

"We're done for, we're done for!" Ray sobbed.

"Quiet down, Ray! Chillax. Don't worry. It'll be a'ight, a'ight?" Mighty told Ray comfortingly, gently hugging him.

"I need one of those." Chaim sighed.

"A hug?"

"No. A black friend. I think it would make me cooler."

"I should be offended, but you're right."

"Listen...guys...I think we know what we have to do." Toad mumbled as he sat on Peach's lap. "We can't dodge the issue anymore. We need...**to EAT KNUCKLES!**" He said, pointing at Knuckles, making the echidna blink stupidly.

"What?" Knuckles growled.

"Well look around! We're trapped in the snow, we may not get out of here for days, we've gotta eat SOMEBODY!" Toad reasoned.

"I know THAT, but why would you want to eat scrawny-old-me? I mean, look at these legs!" Knuckles said, holding one of his legs up, shaking his head back and forth.

"Yeah...you're right." Toad sighed, turning his head and promptly pointing at Chaim. **"LET'S EAT FAT BOY!"**

Nick drooled slightly as the others all looked at the portly pig. _Ohhh, what I wouldn't give for some Main Moon Fried Pork On-A-Stick..._

"I'll bet you really taste like CHICKEN!" Rouge murmured, licking her lips as she grabbed ahold of Chaim's arm, the pig letting out a squeal.

"Come and get it!" Shadow called out suddenly, whistling sharply as the smell of roasted meat wafted through the air. Everyone turned their heads to see another campfire quite some distance away, a large slab of meat being roasted.

"Ooooooh!" Peach remarked, quickly striding over to the meat as everyone else eagerly stood joined in, anxious to get a piece. "It smells divine!"

"It'll be ready in another minute." Shadow said, blowing on the campfire to stoke the flames.

"Bah, I like it rare!" Knuckles laughed.

"Food, food, glorious food!" Sonic cried out happily.

"Solaris would most likely enjoy a piece of leg meat, I needn't take anythi-wait, where IS Solaris?" Chaos realized.

King stiffened, his complexion becoming pale as Amy looked into Peach's eyes. "...you...don't...think..." She murmured.

"Hmm. Smells sorta like...chicken." Chaim said, sniffing the meat. "So it's Kosher, then!"

"...urk." Cream felt bile rising in her mouth and tried to steady herself against a tree.

"Oh God no." Rouge moaned.

"You know, I haven't seen Solaris since last night, actually..." Tails told Chaos, shrugging slightly.

"OH GOOOOOD!" Princess Peach screamed, reeling backwards as everyone looked over at her, then at the meat.

"What?" Sonic asked, scratching his head.

"...oh, Solaris...I'm sorry." King whispered sadly, placing his hands together in prayer.

"SORRY?" A voice rang out.

Everyone turned their heads to the side to see a furious-looking Solaris holding up his horse's saddle. "Whoever stole Brown Beauty's the one who's going to be really sorry!" Solaris snapped. "Ugh. I don't even feel like eating. You. Human. You can have my piece." He muttered balefully, stomping off.

"...well...we ARE hungry enough to eat a..." Amy trailed off noticing the amount of horse sapients nearby. "...I'm sorry, is this cannibalism to you?"

"Well Beauty was a WILD horse..." The reindeer from earlier admitted, tilting his head to the side.

"...I'm so hungry, I don't care! HUNGRY!" Cream yelled.

"FOOD!" Ray demanded.

"HUNGRY!" Charmy called out.

"FOOD!" Toad snapped.

TEN MINUTES LATER...

"Okay, it's important to admit that this was an experiment, and I'm glad we did it and got it out of the way." The reindeer told his friends. "But, uh...let's...let's never do it again."

"Agreed." All of the horse-family sapients admitted.

"Yeah, no kidding." Chaim said. "Horse doesn't taste like chicken..."

"Kinda tastes like venison, actual-" Sonic began to say, quickly shutting up as the reindeer gave him a glare.

...

...

...

... "...so...what shall we talk about?" Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong asked softly as Zelda composed herself, raising her body to full height as she folded her arms.

"I want to ask you about the creation of Hyrule. About the Goddesses and their role." Zelda told him. It was not a polite request. It was practically a demand. Her jaw was set, her legs erect like tree limbs, blue eyes blazing like cold blue sapphires. "And I do not want you to cloud whatever truth you have to give to me in vague metaphors, allegory or strange riddles."

"I admire people who know exactly what they want." Kaondor said kindly, clapping his hands together as all of the lights within the enormous hall suddenly shut off, Zelda finding herself surrounded in an abyss of black. "Listen carefully."

Zelda bit her lip but was silent. She could tell this man was on the verge of a story.

"As you may or may not know, the Goddeses act as patrons over Hyrule and look out for the many races within."

THWOOM! Instantly, before Zelda's eyes, there was a burning representation of Din made entirely of purplish/red flames dancing around, banging a tambourine against her body, her hair swaying back and forth with each spin as several creatures, also made of flame, slowly arose from the darkness around her.

"The inhabitants of the mountains...the volcano-dwelling, rock-consuming golems known as the Gorons epitomize the essence of Din; in their society, they respect power, moreover, physical strength, as demonstrated in their relentless competition with one another in tests of strength. They are the most physically capable of all the races in Hyrule, boasting superhuman strength, and nigh invulnerability."

Zelda nodded. She could understand that.

"The Lizalfos race...a patriarchal society with high respect for those with might and courage. They are at home among the mountains and command immense physical strength as well, with incredible skill in the forge."

This also seemed to make sense, Zelda thought. The impressive technology of Death Mountain sprung into her head...that look of pride Din had had in gazing at all Zelda, Nick and Link had taken in...

"The Dragon race...keepers of the Sacred Flames of Din which beat within their hearts. A piece of Din can be found within each one of their leaders, and they are the most physically powerful of all the races, with a high emphasis on the worship of the Sacred Feminine...something Din adores."

There was something odd about that last part, Zelda mused. "Sacred Feminine?"

"I will explain further." Kaondor added, as the burning figures vanished, now replaced with beings made entirely of flowing water, which strode around a single figure that sat in the middle in a chair, examining a tome with a large magnifying glass. "Think of Nayru. She adores the Zora. These fish-like, humanoid, water-dwellers are known for their hierarchical form of government, as well as their stoicism and their great wisdom. They have great admiration for those who are knowledgeable and wise."

Zelda blushed. No wonder she got along so well with those people!

"You may also notice that they tend to feel great respect towards a woman named Ruto, who reigns over them all with King Zora as her father?" The historian asked of Zelda.

"Yeah, in fact, she kinda seems more of a ruler than HE is..." Zelda murmured. Suddenly things were getting...odd...she was seeing a pattern, she realized. The watery beings before her faded away anew, as new figures slowly rose, wisps of wind held together with leaves and twisting vines, happily singing, hands held as they went ring-around-the-rosy around a blushing, bowing figure in the center.

"Then there is Farore. Although Farore is called the creator of all of the races in the Hyrulean realm, she is most closely associated with forest-dwellers. The Kokiri and the Deku. She has a "rich soul", and those species are essentially children, said to be innocent, caring beings with high inner awareness. Though it was her personal touch of allowing Hylians to have pointed ears in the name of listening to the words of the Gods...she thought it was amusing."

Kaondor chuckled slightly, a deep, rolling noise that echoed through the room. "At least, that is what she told me when I interviewed her so many eons ago."

"You spoke with her? With ALL the Goddesses?" Zelda inquired, eyes widening. "Please, tell me. What are they keeping secret?"

"My dear girl...it is simple. The Goddesses wish to maintain their power over Hyrule. To do so, they have placed emphasis on their prophecies...they have descended into mortal flesh to watch over the races of our land. These actions, combined with the repeatedly-told history they established, serve to perpetuate a lie." Kaondor said softly, almost sadly.

"...what's the lie?" Zelda wanted to know, as the figures before her vanished anew, replaced with three vaguely humanoid figures, men, from the looks of it, who were holding onto a vaguely-glowing sphere made of the same faintly-glowing, shimmering, translucent material THEY were made of.

"The lie...that they created Hyrule. In reality, they are supplanters all, who murdered the true creators of Hyrule and took their places...and the credit." The ancient historian explained as the figures before Zelda suddenly were struck down from behind by swift blurs...three familiar figures stepping forth to grip the transparent orb, a smile like the work of the devil on their faces.

On the faces of Farore, Nayru and Din.

...

...

...

... "So that's the plan." Master Hand explained to Mario as he, Luigi, Bowser and the others all sat around in a house that Master Hand had so kindly erected...okay, it was more like a large MANSION, which meant a well-stocked larder, a roaring fire in the chimney, and absolutely no need for anyone to worry about cannibalization. "We'll arrive by morning, taking them completely by surprise and sweeping Peach out of harm's way in a single stroke."

"...I hope they haven't...hurt her." Mario murmured, holding his hat in his hands, scrunching it over and over as he chewed on his lip.

"I don't think so. At least, not from what I saw." Master Hand said kindly, carefully patting Mario on the head as everyone sat in the enormous living room hall.

"What do you think they're all talking about, sir?" Bombette inquired, sitting atop of a chair Kooper the Koopa was sitting in.

"Well...hmm." Mario rubbed his chin.

"Maybe they're talking about...y'know." Yoshi wondered out loud.

"What?" Bowser wanted to know, an annoyed look coming to his face.

"Well...IT." Yoshi said.

"...it?" Mario murmured.

"...knocking boots." Yoshi sighed.

"...huh?" Bowser mumbled.

"Doing the nasty?" Yoshi offered.

"Eh?" Luigi wanted to know.

"Hitting skins?" Yoshi tried to explain.

"Uhhhhh...what?" Bombette asked.

"I'm talking about SEX!" Yoshi groaned, shaking his head back and forth.

"Princess Peach is a girl. A LADY. She wouldn't discuss something like that." Mario insisted, shaking his head back and forth.

"Soooo?" Amy wanted to know. "How does he treat you?"

"He's one heck of a kisser, I'll tell you that!" Peach admitted. "Mario and Bowser try so hard to be gentlemen. Luigi, he's such a show-off though." She laughed.

"Sonic takes role-playing a bit too far sometimes." Amy admitted, giggling as she and Peach sat away from everyone else, the two of them off in their own little world. "Ah, every relationship is different. But...uh...do you ever get bothered? Being kidnapped so often? I've had it done to me, it's...not as glamorous as I had thought it would be."

"Well..." Samus sighed. "The boys get so jealous of each other...they're probably arguing right now over how best to save me...arguing over who knows me better, meaning their PLAN is better..."

"Guys." Amy laughed as Yoshi, sensing a musical number coming, immediately whistled, as a large band began to immediately play.

"_**Hey Koopa, you big jerk, you're such a stubborn fellow! Won't you give up on Princess Peach, she doesn't like guys with a TAIL!"**_ Mario moaned, making a dismissive wave of his hand.

_**"I regret to inform you, that's unacceptable plumber! I'M her destiny, there's no way that I'll fail!"**_ Bowser laughed, jabbing his thumb at himself.

"I wish the two of you would just cut-it-out. I mean, just look in the MIRROR!" Bombette commented, rolling her eyes.

"_**Don't try to get involved in this, it isn't very smart." **_The two of them said, pointing an accusatory finger at Bombette, making her shrink back as the two struck triumphant poses, fists held high. _**"Cuz we are men, and men compete with their **__**hearts**__**!"**_

"Wow, nice job on that harmonizing!" Luigi admitted.

"I KNOW, right?" Bowser laughed. "So Mario, how you been?"

"EXCELLENT, all the copies of "Galaxy 2" have all sold out in Japan!"

"We're going places my friend, going places." Bowser told him, draping an arm over Mario's shoulder, rubbing his brown hair and mussing it up.

"Uh-oh, the next verse is about to start. Places, places!" Master Hand called out as Mario and Bowser took up poses at different parts of the room.

"_**My sweet Princess Peach...oh how I just adore you! And if you do not understand, I'LL HAVE TO LOCK YOU UP AGAIN!"**_ Bowser roared, belching flame into the air as everyone "oohed".

_**"I'll bravely steal you back, proudly risking my life! But no matter how much I play my part, I just can't steal your heart!"**_ Mario sighed, placing one arm over his head and fake-swooning as everyone fake-wept along with him.

"Seriously, they just can't get along at all!" Peach sighed. "I feel like they're even listening to me sometimes..."

"_**Her tsundere might seem charming, but it's tearing us apart..."**_ Bowser and Mario sighed, sitting together on the couch, shaking their heads back and forth before leaping up, striking poses again. "But hey, we're men, and men compete with their hearts!"

"Man, you just can't win, can you?" Kooper sighed sadly, sympathetically.

"It could be much worse, though. I mean, should Daisy ever decide that she wants someone new, then-" Princess Peach began to say.

"_**Wait a minute, hold on a second, I think you're all forgetting the Green Sex Machine!"**_ Luigi sang out, jumping onto a table as Ludwig von Koopa banged away on the keyboard of his piano with glee, the other Koopa kids giggling at Luigi's sudden display of bravado. "LU-I-GI! Taking the stage, hey, thanks for waiting-"

"The Green WHAT?" Mario yelled.

Bowser towered over Luigi, growling furiously, eyes bright red. _**"You'd better know your place, you've got no lines in this scene!"**_

_**"Interrupt again and I'll kick your ass, you "Lean Green Sex Machine"!" **_Mario warned his brother, Luigi being forced to sit in the corner.

"One mushroom eater is more than enough. I'll bet Luigi just had a beer..." Master Hand laughed.

"_**We might not be that handsome..."**_ Mario sighed.

_**"We may not be that smart..." **_Bowser admitted.

_**"But we are men and men compete with their..."**_

"_**But we are men and men compete with their..."**_

"_**Both of you, please compete with your FACES!"**_ Daisy yelled out, popping her head into the room with a mighty roar, blowing both Mario and Bowser to the floor, Bowser actually flopping completely onto his back.

"...uh...little help here?" Bowser whimpered, his limbs flailing around uselessly as he tried to re-right himself.

Elsewhere, Nick was now resting against a nearby tree, shaking back and forth, mumbling out furious words as King listened intently with Sonic and Tails.

"Can you understand what he's saying?" King inquired.

"...I think...he's saying..." Tails murmured. "Just...kill...me...can't...stand it anymore." Tails finished.

"Oh. Well, if you're...SURE it'll work?" King wished to know. "There's absolutely no guarantee that the spell on you won't disappear even if your body dies..." The serpentine magician informed Nick.

"Uhm suh!" Nick muttered out.

"He said "I'm sure"." Sonic commented, shrugging.

"Everyone under the age of 18, look away!" King roared out, whipping out a scimitar, holding it at an angle as said age group immediately turned away.

SCHA-SCHLUCKA!

Nick's body was rent down the middle at a diagonal manner, and a moment later...

An ENORMOUS explosion of color shot out from where Nick had been as the human shot into the air, an aura of a thousand colors surrounding his body as he let out a loud whoop, shooting into the nighttime sky, the snow swirling around him like a thousand falling white lights.

He had transformed...now he wore a belt with a golden clasp holding up a set of white pants with a shining white jacket to match, three black straps across the chest, with a silver set of socks, with sneakers that were silver to match, almost as brightly glittering as the silver, tipless gloves he wore. Fists clenched tightly, he spun around through the air.

_**I'm-gonna-reach-for-the-staaaaars!  
Although they look pretty faaaar!  
I'm gonna find my own waaaaay!  
And take a chance on today!**_

_**The sky with stars so bright...  
The colors feel so right!  
I've never felt like this  
I'll keep on running!**_

_**The sky with stars so bright...  
The colors feel so right!  
Just take my hand,  
We're gonna reach for the stars...toniiight!  
Toniiiiight!**_

"I'M...**BAAAAAAAACK**!" Nick roared out, spinning around in the air before finally landing on the tip of a tree, striking a triumphant pose, two fingers held up in a salute against his foread, giving off a snap to attention to the rest of the group, stretching up a "V for Victory" gesture as he did so.

**Author's Note:**

**I apologize again to my fans for being late in updating. I've been worrying over Finals, alas. I hope this update makes up for everything. I tried to make it as entertaining and enlightening as possible. ^_^  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

There are some things, even if you see them occur before your very eyes, you just don't believe.

Your mommy kissing Santa Claus. Bigfoot. Democrats and Republicans actually agreeing on something.

And now something anew could be added to the list: seeing your Goddesses commit cold-blooded fratricide. Princess Zelda of Hyrule stood there in the sage librarian's secret hall, gaping in horror at the vision she had seen, her mind scarcely able to comprehend what had unfolded. How had this occurred? How was this possible?

"I don't need to be a psychic to be able to tell what you are thinking inside of your head at the moment, madam." Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong stretched his hands out in a suggestive fashion at Zelda, urging her to go on. "Go on...go ahead, and ask the questions which are now bouncing around in your cranial cavity."

"...how?" She asked quietly. "..._why_?"

"Well, the "how" is easy enough. They literally took knives and did just as you saw. Think of Gods as pure souls...their brothers were sent spiraling to a "prison" that was as good as death, never to awaken, forever chained in sleep. They essentially murdered their family to gain control over Hyrule." Kaondor went on in his deep, almost monotone voice.

Zelda held her head in her hands, her body shaking violently as she slipped to her knees. She thought back to Farore's secret, what had been lurking, lying in wait that had briefly come out during that little tea party. She thought about the immense effort that the Goddesses put into their prophecies, towards appearing beneficial and helpful towards the other races. The Goddesses had so much power...

"...so they took their brother's powers when they killed them?" Zelda wished to know. Or rather, that's what came out of her mouth. She didn't truly want to know. She wanted to forget all of this. She wanted to go home and go to bed and when she woke up, her father would be there to comfort her and Link would say "I've talked with your father and he's given his blessing"...

She wanted things to be simple. How had everything become so complicated in a few short weeks?

"No...they had the powers they have today before the act. But it is foolish to assume that power or wealth or skill inoculates against evil. Crime is not limited to any class." The mysterious historian intoned. "And it is the elite that primarily commit such crimes. The more on top you are, the more you appear to be above suspicion."

"I...I think I'm going to be ill." Zelda managed to mumble out as she staggered back, hitting the door, trying to hold the bile down.

"Be **brave**." The historian insisted. "You're not out of the woods yet, my dear. There is much still that you don't know about. And still much...much more that I have to tell you."

The secretive being placed his large hands together, calmly rubbing them as his voice became a soft, dull whisper. "The one called Ganondorf, who had disguised himself as "Linwood"...he is currently fighting for his life, and you had best hope that he succeeds. The one he is facing is far more foul than he."

Zelda blinked in confusion. What? What was this all about? "Who's fighting him?"

"...the shade of the one you love...a lying, unearthly falsehood made real."

It all began to click in Zelda's head. This Link that had returned wasn't the real Link at all? Did that mean-

"I can see the hope in your eyes. Let it fully burst forth child. Your Link...and your friend, the human...are fine."

"I must know. Please...how do you know so much?" Zelda begged eagerly, tears of joy springing to her eyes as she rubbed them slightly with her white-gloved hands.

The historian seemed to somehow smile, she could hear his calm amusement in his response. "When one has a near-death experience, one's view on life changes. I had something similar. You see, the year 777 on July 4th was a very bad day for me. I died."

"...you...died?" Zelda murmured, eyes widening slightly in shock and confusion.

Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong chuckled ever-so-slightly. "Yes. My hands were cut off because I was a thief. But that was not enough, oh no. They also removed my head from its shoulders for being a murderer. It is a long, sordid story. But I won't bore you with the details...more pressing matters must be attended to."

...

...

...

...more pressing matters indeed.

Pikachu awoke to find himself hovering in a white abyss of absolute silence, only the sound of his own faint, labored breathing keeping him company. His paws flailed around uselessly in the air as he tried to turn himself onto his "feet", but instead floundered around like a turtle knocked onto its own back.

The moment he thought about how much he'd prefer to simply be on his feet again, he was suddenly standing upright, with a faint chuckling filling the air.

**IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, PIKACHU. A FRIENDLY FACE INDEED.**

"What the, who are you? Are you a damn ghost?" Pikachu called out, the voice filling his body with a sense of awe and vague confusion. The voice seemed somewhat familiar, and yet...strange.

**WHAT MAKES YOU BELIEVE THIS IS THE WORK OF A GHOST?**

"Who are you?" Pikachu demanded to know, clenching his paws into tiny little fists and waving them in the air. "Are you Yamato Takeru no Mikoto?"

**NO. I AM VOICEY-DARN IT! EVEN HE'S GOT ME DOING IT NOW! JUST...** The authoritative, omniscient-sounding voice hesitated, trying to recompose itself before it resumed speaking. **REFER TO ME AS "THE VOICE".**

Pikachu raised a non-existent eyebrow and folded his arms. "Very well, uh...would you be so kind, Voice-Sensei, as to tell me what is going on around here?"

**I HAVE WHISKED YOU TO SAFETY BECAUSE I NEED TO BESTOW A POWER UPON YOU. **

Pikachu's eyes widened as before his eyes, something descended softly from on high. Shimmering slightly like a falling star, it landed gently in his outstretched paws as he gaped in awe. "Wh...what is this?" He murmured, looking the thing over in his hands.

**SOMETHING THAT APPEALS TO THE WARRIOR WITHIN YOU. WHEN THE TIME COMES...YOU WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO.**

"I...will know...what to do..." Pikachu murmured as he held the vibrant red energy blade high in the air, the sword humming ever-so-slightly as he waved it back and forth in a slow, deliberate fashion. A moment later, he found himself deposited quickly and suddenly inside of a cavern...

Inside of the Legendary Council prison chambers. Luckily, he was in an opened cell down the hall, and as such he could hear everything that was being said.

"No, I WON'T keep quiet about this. Shigeru Miyamoto's gonna hear from us about what you've done, ya big jerk." Erin's voice rang out as Alex played a harmonica in a somber fashion. Peeking out into the hallway, Pikachu saw that Link was slumped against the wall with Samus, chewing on his lip in deep thought, with the armored bounty hunter's head slumping as if she was either bored or asleep.

Kirby, meanwhile, was rattling a can he had SOMEHOW procured against the cell bars, and was singing in a loud, rowdy fashion. _**"Ain't got change for a dollah, ain't got laces for mah shooooes! Now I'm stuck in prison, ain't got nuttin' but da bluuuues!"**_

"Kirby, please, **don't**." Lucario mumbled, resting his head in his paws.

"For once, we are in agreement...Shut UP!" Mewtwo snapped angrily, momentarily turning away from Mew before sighing and facing the small cat-like Pokémon anew. "I sincerely hope Arceus will think of some humane way to solve this, I'd...prefer not to actually slay them."

"I'm just confused about where Pikachu went. You SURE Arceus said he didn't kill him?" Mew wanted to know.

"Yes, he said he was just trying to knock him out. Yet we couldn't find him anywhere. Ah well." Mewtwo shrugged slightly. "It is not such a big deal at the moment, we've more pressing matters to attend to."

Pikachu waited for the two of them to head out before he carefully slunk along the prison hallway walls, going over to his friend's locked cell and putting a single paw digit to his lips. "Silence" was all he needed.

They all stayed absolutely quiet as Pikachu held the beam saber up to the thick lock on the door, sizzling it open. Carefully, they snuck out one at a time, heading for the exit...heading for the main hall which would lead them to escape and-

It was blocked. By every single Legendary Pokémon on the council.

Pikachu slapped his paw against his face. "_Nani-yo_!"

"What part of "Psychic" do you fail to understand?" Mewtwo asked in a slightly annoyed voice as the other legendary Pokémon calmly advanced, Arceus floating triumphantly above them all, a look of pure satisfaction on his features. "I could hear your thoughts. Mostly you repeating "Would that _baka _leave already" over and over, said train of thought gradually getting louder in frustration."

"Any ideas?" Alex whispered at Link as Erin took up a nervous fighting stance along with the others.

"I knew you would try to escape. I have immense knowledge of **so** many things." Arceus informed them all in a calm, collected tone.

"For instance, I know that I am quite possibly going to slay you all and have your eyeballs be turned into marbles that I'll keep in a glass jar. We'll place bets over winning that fine pair of "Electric Blue" the redheaded girl has." Mew said cheerily.

Everyone gave her a horrified, disturbed look as Mew shrugged. "What?" She asked in that same cheerful tone.

"I think I could take you." Pikachu said calmly, pointing the beam saber at her, eyes alit with cold intent, a fire rising steadily within.

"You're sneaking prisoners out of OUR jail, betraying YOUR bosses, trying to screw up our plans for world peace, and you have the gall to point THAT at me like I'm the villain? Oh-no-you-di-in't!" Mew laughed, waving a paw digit in the air. "I'm not the one who's putting stupid highfalutin ideals over practicality."

"I do not think I need take moral advice from somebody who is clearly unhinged in her mind." Pikachu commented as he began moving forward, Mew holding up a paw as pinkish energy swirled around it. "Arceus, I demand you hear me out."

"...speeaaaak." Arceus said softly.

"I will offer this to you." Pikachu demanded, holding the saber at the quiln-esque Pokémon. "If I defeat Mew...you are to allow my friends and I free passage out of this world and to the realm where Nick, my friend, has gone to. You will let us ALL go free and unharmed."

"You do realize that if you actually kill her, I am going to unzip your skin and wear you like a coat." Mewtwo said calmly.

"...this should be interesting. Perhaps I ought to disagree..." Arceus commented calmly, an amused expression dancing over his features.

"You're within your rights, but really, sir, passing up this sort of thing reflects more poorly on you than on the lil' yellow mouse." Mew sniggered.

Mewtwo frowned slightly. She did have a point. Pikachu was just a yellow rat. This was a Legendary Pokémon. This wouldn't be a fight. It would be a slaughter. The least Arceus could do was grant this "last request".

"...very well. Should you win...you'll all be free to go, unharmed, to the place where that human was sent. But...should you fail...you'll still go to that realm, only..." Arceus's facial expression became a thing of abject cruelty. "In many...bleeding...pieces."

"Yeah, aren'tcha just feelin' really special? So...shall we play this lil' game?" Mew laughed. "HYPER BEA-"

"TAI-YOOOOOOH!" Pikachu roared out, rushing forward and slashing at Mew as she held up the glowing paw, her energy blast cut in half as a visible bloody mark appeared across her paw. She let out a cry of pain as Pikachu forced her back further and further, holding the beam saber firmly in his grip, a fighting spirit rising higher and higher like a bird taking flight in his soul.

"Still think this is a game?" Pikachu snarled.

"Oh, it IS! HYPER BEAM!" Mew laughed as she twirled away from his saber swing, launching a thick, pulsing pink laser shot through Pikachu's shoulder and giggling as she rose into the air. "And you, my boy, shall be the star of my highlight reel! SWIFT!" She went on as she held her paws in the air, tiny little stars hovering around her body which shot out at Pikachu to cut through him like a hot knife through butter.

"DOUBLE TEAM!" Pikachu roared out, his body shimmering like a mirage as he ran across the floor, his agility rapidly increasing as he barreled towards Mew, slicing through the stars as easily as...well, a hot knife through butter. He then leaped upwards, trying to bring the sword down in a vertical slice, but Mew swept away, giggling all the while.

"Hee-hee. I'm getting a liiiiiitlle bored with you." She told him, holding both paws in his direction. "PSYCHIC!"

A powerful blast of psychic energy slammed into Pikachu, a wave of power that launched him into the nearby wall, making the others groan in sympathy pain.

"Poor schmuck." Celebi commented as the popcorn was passed around the girls. She put her cap back on and waved a bunch of tickets above her fairy-esque head. "Get yer tickets here! Getcher tickets here! Fifteen to 1 odds of Pikachu winnin'!"

"I'll take two." Erin requested through a mouthful of popcorn.

"He's a surprisingly good swordsman. I truly am impressed." Link admitted, nodding his head firmly as he turned to Alex.

Unfortunately...the collision into the wall had knocked the beam saber out of Pikachu's paws, and he was now being whacked around through the air by Mew's telekinetic powers. "Your little friends can't help you now!" Mew giggled as she danced through the air. "And without your little sword, you're not half as powerful. So that means I get to rip your heart out!"

"_Shimata, Shimata, Shimataaaaaa_!" Pikachu screeched as he ran for the labyrinthine hallways, racing away from Mew as fast as he could and diving into a door, hiding behind a stack of boxes filled with various fertilizers. Apparently it was Celebi's room...the walls were decorated with portraits of elves and fairies, there were dozens of potted plants all around, and the ceiling was decorated entirely with flowers.

"You can't hide from me, Pikachu. I'm a psychic, remember? I know every move you're going to make before you make it." Mew's mental voice called out as she floated down the hall, humming to herself. "And now, like the cat to your mouse, I'm going to POOOUUUUNCE on yooooou."

_"Go die in a ditch." _Pikachu thought loudly in Mew's direction.

"One...twooooo...THREE!" Mew burst into the room...

The bathroom.

"...hmm. Thought for SURE your thoughts came from in here. Ah well." Mew shrugged and headed further down the hall. "Hmmmmm..." She sniffed the air, licking her lips. "Ooh, I'm getting all tingly all over! This is FUN! One...TWO!...THREE!" She burst into another room and confronted-

A strange, dark , shadow-like creature with a wispy head that was triyng to slit his wrists in his room. He had a spiky growth of red around his neck, with black, claw-like hands that held a razor almost as sharp as his icy blue eyes."...do you mind?" Darkrai muttered, the firey "plume" atop his head sizzling with annoyance.

"...sorry." Mew apologized, closing the door and letting the emo finish his work. He kept braking the razors that way. She didn't get people like him. What did HE have to be depressed about? Unlike Pikachu, he wasn't on the verge of getting turned into a rug.

But Pikachu was not yet alone. That Voice, THE Voice, was now ringing in his head.

**PIKACHU. WHY ARE YOU STANDING HERE? GO FORWARD...DEFEAT HER.**

"I...I lost the sword, I...I feel ashamed...afraid." Pikachu murmured, covering his face with his paws. "I was doing so well with it until-"

**PIKACHU...PIKACHU...** The Voice intoned sweetly, comfortingly, and for a brief moment Pikachu almost felt a kindly set of arms envelop him. **IT IS THE WARRIOR THAT MAKES THE WEAPON, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. FOR A TRUE WARRIOR, ANYTHING CAN BE A POTENTIAL MEANS OF FIGHTING FOR A NOBLE CAUSE. ANYTHING...CAN BE A WEAPON. BUT ABOVE ALL...**

Pikachu blinked, putting his paws away from his face. "Y-yes?"

**TO SURPASS A SWORD WITH ONE'S OWN FISTS...IS AN AMAZING THING INDEED.**

One's own fists.

An idea came to Pikachu. He felt a smile split his features, and he quickly raced out into the hall, his fist crackling with electrical energy as Mew, exiting another room, turned to look at his proud form. "Well, well, finally decided to face the Mew-sic, huh?"

"Ready...yourself." Pikachu growled, holding his fist up int the air as lightning sparked around it, sizzling tendrils of electrical power forming into tiny chains of spikes that seemed to cover his fist. He raced forward with near impossible speed, and Mew tried to raise her paw up to launch a Psychic attack, but he was so FAST, TOO fast, and that fist...

The lightning sparkling around it was like a sword that suddenly pierced through her heart like a sharp thing through a soft thing, and Mew, screaming in pain and agony, convulsing in electrical stimuli, hit the floor with a horrid THUNKA-PLOP before her fellow Legendaries and the prisoners, moaning deeply.

"MeeeeooOOOOOWWWWCCCHH." She moaned out before "hiccupping" a static shock and fainting into unconsciousness, Pikachu approaching the others with electricity dripping off him like rain off a wet dog fresh from out of a monsoon.

"...you...you actually...I..." Arceus stammered.

"Amazing..." Mewtwo murmured in awe. "Simply amazing..."

"I have defeated Mew." Pikachu said, placing his paws together and bowing deeply before Arceus. "Now, as the deal insists, let us all go freely."

Arceus let out a long, deep sigh before he finally descended down from the air, hooves touching the cold floor below as he raised his head up. "Very well." He murmured quietly. "As the deity of all Pokémon, I'm bound by my word..."

"Come on, Mewtwo." Pikachu said, holding out a single paw towards the psychic cat as Arceus blinked in surprise, the other Legendaries looking shocked as well, though not as shocked as Mewtwo, who's tail had shot up, his mouth slightly open in confusion.

"Wha-what do you mean?"

"You're my friend." Pikachu said calmly. "You are _nakama_. Come with us."

"...but..." Mewtwo began to murmur. But Pikachu's paw reached out again.

"Come with us."

...

...

...

...meanwhile, Nick was situated around a fire, listening to Tails discussing "battle plans" with Peach. Above all, the basic plan was a simple attempt at distraction...stalling tactics. If they could JUST keep the Mushroom Kingdom army busy long enough for Peach to find Mario and Bowser and talk to them one-on-one, this would all be over, nobody would want to fight.

"This means you've all got to go easy on them, as easy as possible while keeping it all believable. They can't know we're just stalling for time." Tails insisted as he finished the last touches on the scratches in the snow that were their battle strategies.

"Well, I'm more than happy to help. If need be, I'll do...it." He admitted.

"...IT?" Sonic asked.

"...it. But you have to promise not to grill me for it if I DO end up doing it. That's all I'm asking." Nick requested, holding his hands up as a slight look of shame appeared on his features.

"Whaddya mean by "It"?" Vector inquired.

"I THINK I know what he is speaking of, let us...hope...it doesn't come to that. For your dignity's sake." King mused, smiling ever-so-slightly.

"...riiiiight." Sonic raised a nonexistent eyebrow and shrugged. "Alright. We've pretty much accounted for everything here except for one...liiiiittle detail." The hedgehog insisted, holding up two fingers and making a teeny-tiny "itty-bitty" geture with his pointer and thumb. "Who's got their hands on dealing with Master Hand?"

Silence among the group. Nick nervously rubbed the back of his neck. Master Hand had creeped him the hell out. He WANTED to say "I'll do it", but something inside him was reacting, forcing him to zip his lip.

"Come on. I wanna hear you say it."

"...I'm not doin' it."

"Come oooooon!"

"...FINE! I'LL place the order." Bowser reached for the phone and put it to his "ear". "Hello? Is this Pakarry Pizza Palace?"

"Yep, Pakarry speakin'! How can I help you?"

"This is King Bowser Koopa. I'd like the Koopa Special."

"With Whacka Bump on that?"

"Oh, yes. And hold the Mummy Koopa bandages, no Buzzard Feathers and, uh, make it spicy-"

"He-HEM." Mario harrumphed.

"...VERY spicy."

"Alright, if it's not there in fifteen minutes, it's totally free!"

...

...

...

..."Okay, fine. We'll do this the hard way." Sonic told the others, shrugging before he quickly placed a single gloved finger on his little black-

"NOSE GOES!" Tails realized, quickly putting a finger on HIS nose. Pretty soon everyone, save for those that HAD no nose, looked like they were Santa Claus performing magic with his lil' red snozz, or, in some cases, "diggin' for gold".

Regrettably, Nick had not gotten his nose touched in time. Sighing slightly, he threw his hands up in the air. "Sure." He announced. "Why not? It's only a brand new jacket I'm about to ruin with bloody fisticuffs."

"You'll be fine. Children are as arrows in the hands of a warrior." Cream the Rabbit said cheerily.

"I didn't know you were a Buddhist." Nick commented, scratching his head.

"Actually, it's Psalms 127. I'm an altar girl." Cream explained, rubbing he back of her neck as Cheese the Chao placed his little paws together and began to hum some monastic chant.

"So...we attack at dawn." Peach agreed. "Please, everyone, be careful."

"And "Be Strong and Courageous"! Book of Deuteronomy, 31:6, Joshua, 1:9, Chronicles, 22:13!" Cream added.

"**Are you SURE that us going easy on them is the answer? I worry that many souls may be lost in the attempt. It might be easier to simply force them all into submission and THEN explain things." **Chaos worried, rubbing his chin and nervously shaking his head. It was understandable, Peach thought to herself. He didn't want to see any more of his comrades hurt.

"We can't sink to Master Hand's level and actually play into this war game. This is the sort of thing he wants: for us to be harsh towards them, to forget why we were fighting in the first place. We can't do that. We CAN'T." She insisted.

"Maybe we should go easy on them tomorrow." Mario asked Bowser as the Koopa King adjusted his crown, standing before the troops to address them.

"...NAAAAH. He who turns the other cheek, needeth more toilet paper. The Book of Stallone, Rocky 4." Bowser wisecracked. "Now..."

He raised his clawed fists into the air, shaking them violently as he addressed them all. "Ready yourself, my troops! Call out the Chain-Chomps! Ready the Pirhana Plants! PREPARE FOR DESTINY!..."

He then rubbed his chin. "Hey, where's my pizza?"

Elsewhere, Pikachu and the others had finally arrived in the same world that Nick had landed in. They had wisely decided to set up camp, something that wasn't too hard considering Erin had a certain amount of alien technology on her. In no time at all, an enormous camp RV had been erected, and all of them were getting ready to call it a night. After all, they had to begin searching first thing in the morning.

"We reave at dahwn." Pikachu insisted, nursing his jaw as he exited the RV bathroom.

Everyone looked in his direction.

"...Pikachu...why are you speaking like that?"

"I ferr dohwn dah toilret, hurd mah jawh." Pikachu mumbled out, a strange, unpleasant odor rising up from his body. "No commen, no cacks 'boud 'ow I 'ell, I wanna sepwate woom."

"...sure..." Erin said, creeping away from him as Samus allowed a small smile to pass over his features.

"I can terr rhat yuh thinkin'." Pikachu muttered over in her direction. "I dun't wanna hear anny moh uhbout id! Now tuhn off da rights uhn go ta sreep!" With that, he slammed the door to what HAD been Erin's private bedroom and jumped into bed.

"Well. He managed to keep that "suave Foreign warrior" vibe going for...how long? Half an hour? Not bad, all things considered." Samus dryly commented.

...

...

...

...the sun also rises, as they say. One by one, our protagonists awoke, rising slowly from sleeping bags and tents to greet the dawn as it cast gentle, illuminating rays across their faces, warmth filling their beings as Nick stretched out, yawning deeply. It was a brand new day...and he felt so...cheerful.

Why, it kinda...kinda...

Kinda made him feel like singing!

He skipped along the freshly fallen snow, pirouetting like a ballerina as he spread his arms wide, singing proudly as one by one the others began to rise as well. _**"Lookit the sky, lookit the world, lookit the boys, lookit the girls!" **_

_**"It's an inky-dinky-doo-dah-mooorning!"**_ Peach sang out, waltzing along with him.

"_**Morning! Morning, Morning, Morning, Morning!"**_ Tails joined in, shaking everyone's hand as he passed them by. Unaware that even Mario and the others were also rising in glorious song...and perfect dance synchronization.

"_**The air feels fresh and brisk and sweet, why I could even smell your **__**feet**__**!"**_ Luigi cheerfully told Bowser, actually HUGGING him in the spirit of the moment.

Bowser simply shrugged. Why not? _**"It's an inky-dinky-doo-dah-mooorning!"**_

"_**Morning! Morning, Morning, Morning, Morning!"**_ The two armies sang, dancing around in a circle, bopping and grooving to the music that seemed to resonate from all around them.

Shadow frowned, folding his arms angrily across his chest...suddenly realizing that he was tapping his foot. His leg was jiggling. "STOP." He told his leg. "Don't do it! DON'T **FREAKIN'** DO IT!"

"_**Morning! Morning, Morning, Morning, Morning!"**_

"_**It's an inky-dinky-doo-dah-mooorning!"**_

Not even Shadow could resist the siren call of the musical number. He was soon striding along with Rouge and Omega, hands waving back and forth in the air, a cheery, stupid grin on his features.

"_**Inky-dinky-doo-dah-mooorning, Morning, Morning, Morning, Morning!"**_

...

...

...

...Pikachu rubbed his still sore-jaw, slowly stepping out of the RV and seeing the others assembled outside. "...herro ev-wuhn...uh...can...can I ask ya a question?"

"What?" Erin wanted to know as they roasted some oatmeal over a fire.

"Nod too rong 'go...did eveh-wuhn...feel urge tuh sing?" Pikachu asked. "Did you arr...stahl ingin' a song 'boud dah molning?"

"...by Arceus's WHEEL." Mewtwo murmured, turning to Pikachu, purple eyes widening in shock as the others stood around, looking at each other. "So it wasn't just **us**?"

"We couldn't HELP ourselves, we just...started singing together!" Erin agreed.

"It was bloody AMAZING." Alex agreed. "Like...like..."

"Rike uh wuh in musicah?" Pikachu slurred out from his throbbing jaw. "Dat ID odd..."

"There must be some kind of logical explanation for this." Samus insisted.

It was then that a large explosion roared through the forest, snow piling over their heads as the cry of armies rose into the air, a Bom-Omb brigade ready to repeat their preemptive strike as a very loud, hammy voice called out "THEY CAN TAKE OUR LIVES, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE...OUR FREEDOOOOOM!"

"...Nick." They all said at once, running in his direction.

...

...

...

...elsewhere, Dr. Eggman was leaning against a very comfortable-looking black plush chair, gloved hands steepled as he looked intently at the person on the other end of the line, a shadowed figure hovering in a holo-vid screen who also appeared to be sitting in a VERY comfortable-looking plush chair.

"Is this E.G.O headquarters that I've reached?"

"...depends. Who is inquiring?" A soft, slightly dark voice spoke.

"My name is Dr. Ivo Robotnik...more commonly referred to as Dr. Eggman. I've a...business proposition...for the current Grand Scion of E.G.O."

"Well, we're still in the midst of voting for that." The voice informed Dr. Eggman.

"This marks the FIFTH time I've called this week. Why are you taking so damn long? Are you picking your toes in between counting votes?" The mustachioed madman snapped furiously.

"No we are NOT!" The voice snapped furiously, his voice rising in pitch. "...look." A deep sigh. "There has not been a Grand Scion for several years, and that is not likely to change!"

"Why not?"

"Because usually, the Grand Scion is handpicked by the former Grand Scion. The problem comes when said Grand Scion unexpectedly leaves office without picking a successor!"

Dr. Eggman raised an eyebrow. "Did he go fighting?"

"No. He went over to the Light side."

"...I see."

"Therefore, we have to result to popular vote, but EVERYONE always votes for themselves and so we never pick a Grand Scion until somebody gets blackmailed or threatened into voting for somebody else."

"...politics. The system truly DOES work." Dr. Eggman mused. "Supposing you become Grand Scion. I'd like to strike a deal with you. My organization is currently after multiverse domination. I think that would be right up your alley, but in order to accomplish such a thing..." He leered broadly, goggles alight with brilliant ambition. "Would it not be easier for two immensely powerful criminal organizations to work WITH each other, instead of...against?"

"...how about a deal." The alien being inquired, moving forward to reveal shining eyes. "You agree to throw your support behind me and only me. In return, I will, at the next vote, speak of the immense resources your organization has and how I have you eating out of the palm of my hand, and all YOUR resources can be OURS if they elect me Grand Scion."

"Mmm-hmmmmm...go on..."

"I'm swept into power, our organizations join forces, and I eliminate anybody within the organization that would be a threat to you, while, in return, providing you with anything you need to operate in our neck of the woods. You scratch my back...and I scratch yours."

"Done." Dr. Eggman commented cheerily. "Might I have your name, though?"

"My name?"

Some time later, that being was sitting in his office, on a communicator with his mother, his voice now dropped considerably lower...a pained expression on his features. "...I have to ask you, do you..."

"Yes?"

"...do you believe in...repentance?" He wished to know.

His mother laughed gently. "Honey, don't talk like that. Good people have no need of repentance. You may have done some terrible things, but you are not a terrible person. You're **not**."

"...I hope you're right." The blind, insectoid alien murmured, hanging up and holding his head in his three-clawed hands, his balled antennae drooping down over his desk.

_And I hope you will still think so...when you find out the truth about me. _

**Author's Note: Happy New Year's Day! By the way, if you don't know who Yamato Takeru no Mikoto is, he's a folk hero from Japan, and the odd, fourth-wall-breaking moment was a direct inspiration from one of the WORST animes in history, which, due to it's piss-poor dubbing, is Comedy Gold...and filled with people who have trouble pronouncing his name. **

**And so an epic battle is on the horizon as our heroes and heroines must somehow make sense of their convoluted situation...  
**


	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

At the moment, despite not being able to really take lives, the Mushroom Kingdom army had done a considerably good job at taking away Nick's freedom, because he'd, stupidly, tried to sneak up on Bowser and was now tied to a tree, getting the stuffing beaten out of him as Bowser struck into his body with a clawed fist over and over and over.

"_**Haaaappiness is just two kinds of ice creaaaam!"**_ The enormous draconic turtle monster called out proudly, red hair flowing in the wind as he levied another harsh punch into Nick's already broken chest. The poor kid has bruises on his bruises, and was cut in so many places you would have thought somebody had sent him through a wood shredder like in that movie "Fargo", a movie Nick only bothered to remember because that had made the list of the "Top 10 Suckiest Ways To Die".

The others seemed to be holding up, though, in the fight against the Mushroom Army...save for Pikachu, who, regretably, had a very simple problem: his stupid near-broken jaw made pronouncing his attacks impossible. _"THUDALH! THUNDALH!"_ Pikachu screeched, bouncing up and down in one spot as a goomba decided the idiot wasn't worth it, leaving the electric rat in his shame.

Also on the "Failure List", the magic-wielding King . Luigi stood behind a large outcropping of rock, having activated a "Feather Cape" powerup that allowed him to, effectively, whack back all projectiles. This included fireballs, blasts of wind, ice...

"Why don't you just give up?" King yelled out from behind HIS rocky outcropping, deciding that a ball of thunder probably wouldn't work either...knowing his luck, that annoying cape was insulated. "I promise to be lenient towards you."

"I don't think you ought to be telling ME what to do considering you're the one who can't lay a claw on me, Mr. Snakey!" Luigi called back proudly, a Bom-Omb squadron walking over to assist him. King was soon being forced to duck and cover as Bom-Ombs hurled themselves kamikaze-style at the place he was hiding at, making him quiver slightly in fear.

Luckily...he had a plan.

"Let's see how he likes a dose of THIS." King whispered, holding up his clawed hands as a blue aura of magical power slowly rose up around him. He leaped out like a cobra leaping at a mongoose, thrusting one arm up high as an enormous, pulsing, dark grey raincloud appeared over Luigi. Why hadn't he thought of this before?

"What the-" Luigi got out as the Bom-Ombs, realizing what was about to happen, promptly engaged in a "tactical retreat". By which I mean they ran, screaming like little girls as a deluge of water made Luigi get carried across the ground, right into King's outstretched arm. Clocked squarely on the skull, Luigi groaned and hit the ground, moaning in pain.

"Kirby, Star Warrior, takes a ball." Kirby announced in a "important-sounding" tone, trying t be an announcer for his own adventures as he lifted a struggling, squealing-mad Kooper the Koopa in the air by his little blue shell, looking across the battlefield at the sight of Samus and Mewtwo fighting with a skilled group of Koopas that appeared to be covered in dark grey and black gladiator-style armor.

"Put me DOWN!" Kooper screeched.

"He steps to the line..." Kirby went on, a grin coming to his face. "It looks like a tricky seven-ten split!" The pink marshmallow held Kooper high in the air, and then hucked him across the ground like he was, well, a bowling ball. A moment later, it struck Mewtwo squarely in the back, making him squeal and leap up several feet in the air. Luckily, this meant Samus turned her head JUST enough to see what was happening...

Which meant the shell then missed her and klonked the gladiator koopa she'd been fighting squarely in the head, knocking him out. Kooper sailed into the air, coming down on the head of the hysterically-laughing other gladiator who was clearly enjoying Mewtwo's new back pain.

With all three of them knocked out, Kirby approached Samus as she gave him a look. "Just doin' my job, lil' lady."

"Call me "lil' lady" again and I'll bust your head open so the white meat will show, you walking, talking vacuum." Samus said icily as she rushed over to Mewtwo. Kirby pouted slightly before he grabbed ahold of one of the gladiator's swords. Holding it high, then swallowing it...

POOF! Now he had a green cap with a little yellow poofball atop his head, and a slightly-more wider sword in one hand. In fact, he almost looked like Link, truth be told...how very odd. "Sword Kirby" let out a war-whoop, racing back into battle, eager to prove himself anew.

"You alright?" Samus asked, gently lifting Mewtwo back up, a genuine flash of concern coming over her features.

"I am...fine. I can heal myself." Mewtwo said, snapping his fingers as a vaguely greenish glow covered his body. "I appreciate your concern, though, my lady."

"..." Samus looked him squarely in the face and he blinked.

"Do you...not like me calling you that?"

"You know...I'm fine with that." She said, shrugging. "Come on, the others need us and they need us YESTERDAY."

Indeed! Erin and Peach were sneaking around on the edge of the forest, trying to find Mario whilst Yoshi ran around whacking an increasingly-angered and seemingly powerless Pikachu with his tongue.

"You bettah stop id or I'm 'unna irr 'oo!" Pikachu snarled out, desperately wishing that his jaw wasn't sore anymore. The stupid accent that had been forced upon him was only serving to make Yoshi more amused, and the green dinosaur now leapt up in the air, bringing his butt squarely down on top of Pikachu.

KRA-THWOOMP!

CHA-CHRRK!

That last sound? The sound of a jaw being moved squarely back into place.

Yoshi was about to become EXTINCT.

"**THUNDEEEERRRR**!" Pikachu roared out, his eyes crackling white, electricity sparkling over his body as he thrust his fists upward. The skies above clouded over briefly with dark stormclouds, the air becoming hot and humid as, suddenly, an enormous bolt of lightning raced down from the heavens above, squarely going through Yoshi, through the grounded Pikachu and into, well, the ground.

Yoshi let out a quick cough, his body covered in soot, before he finally collapsed to the ground, utterly unconscious as Pikachu dustedhimself off, feeling satisfied.

"Hey, Pikachu?" Kirby asked, mouth half-full of Goomba. "Can I ask you something?"

"...do not talk with your mouth full." Pikachu mumbled, shaking his head.

Kirby spat the Goomba out at terminal velocity and it broke through a tree, knocking a recently-regained-concious Luigi out. Again. "Why do you call it "Thunder" if it's really just a big burst of Lightning? With a name like "Thunder", I thought it would be a sound-related sort of thing. Calling an electrical move "thunder-something" is kinda...false advertising."

"...my jaw is fine, in case you were wondering. But thank you. Because now my MIND hurts." Pikachu muttered, groaning deeply as he rubbed his temples with two little paw digits.

Meanwhile, Nick was still getting the tar beaten out of him and was now, for the most part, a limp, mumbling wreck. Blood was drizzling down out of the corner of his mouth, ruining the nice clothes he had on as Bowser prepared to finish the job with a blast of his fiery breath.

"Sir? Your pizza's on the way." A koopa wearing a bandolier announced, holding up a cell phone shaped like a koopa shell.

"I am BUSY at the moment. This is ME time." Bowser insisted as he licked his lips, fire darting out of this mouth. "Master Hand told us ALL about your kind, "Real Worlder". You're the biggest threat here. Once I'm rid of you..."

"Don't you think that, after several hundred years of civilization, this is a pretty stupid, if not anachronistic way, of settling differences?" Nick wanted to know, managing to raise his head up.

"...I don't know what anachronistic means. But I don't care. Fry first, check my dictionary later!" The Koopa King roared.

Luckily, this was where fate intervened it's helping hand for someone who didn't believe in it. And by Fate, I mean Alex Hardie. And my helping hand, I mean a boot to the head.

THA-THOOONK!

"OWWWW, you booted me in the HEAD!" Bowser roared, reeling back.

The teenager opposite from him gave a casual grin, but all the while stood protectively over his friend.

"Sorry lizard, dinosaur, turtle...man" Alex said, stumbling over his words. He twirled a lock of his hair in embarrassment.

"Hey, can you..." Nick began, but Alex interrupted him.

"I'm gettin there!" the Briton shouted back. Turning back, he dropped his jacket off his shoulders. With a "FWOOSH" two grey feathered wings spread out, their sixteen foot width hiding Nick.

"Alex, wait, go EASY on him! Remember, we don't actually wanna really hurt them!" Nick insisted.

"Aren't you noble. Sure, you're perfectly fine with ripping apart our reality with your innate nature, but you're not a MONSTER, so you'll be NICE to me as you're tearing ME apart." Bowser muttered balefully as he unleashed a torrent of flame at Alex.

Peach, meanwhile, had actually managed to reach Mario, who was, regrettably, holding a struggling and squealing Erin in a "bear hug". See, Mario didn't actually believe in fighting women, but a bear hug wasn't exactly "fighting".

"So then, after we all sat down and played some board games..." Peach went on, trying to explain the whole situation to Mario, as he blinked stupidly, taking it all in.

"Air!...Air! I NEED AIR!" Erin squeaked out.

"Somebody help her!" Sonic yelled out as he tried to beat back a flurry of assaulting Bullet Bills that just-kept-coming.

"We're! A! Little! Busy! Here!" Knuckles shouted as he and Tails fought off the Hammer Bros, who continued to launch ball-pins in their direction from a high-off cloud. Shadow and his platoon were busy contending with high-fliers of their own, annoying creatures known as Lakitus, little turtle-like things with glasses, were launching spiky shelled-monsters at them over and over from floating clouds.

Clouds with faces.

...the Mushroom Kingdom was kinda **weird**!

"Wings, huh? I feel like makin' you HOT AND SPICY." Bowser growled evilly as he unleashed another torrent at Alex.

Alex held his hand in front of him, the wall of flames cascading around him. He grinned in a playful fashion.

"Pal, I'm a pyrokinetic. Fire doesn't do squat to me, there's nothing you can..."

**THUNK!**

Unimpressed by this moxie, Bowser's fist smashed into his face, propelling Alex into a nearby wall that had, at one point, been part of an old forest cabin. It collapsed in a heap, as Nick let out an "Ooooch" in sympathy. Pulling himself free, he attempted to straighten his nose.

"The boxer nose AGAIN? It was bad enough when Grey did it." Alex mumbled hatefully.

"And here I thought you'd be a challenge." Bowser roared with glee, leaping up into the air, intending on squashing Alex beneath his rear.

"Oh Dear Lord please don't let him connect or I'll never pull him out!" Nick prayed.

"And you were right bozo" Alex pointed out as he swung his foot upwards, using his wings to propel him. Charging his sneaker with electrical energy, it connected.

Now, if you'll take a look at this quick little x-ray, you'll note the precise angle upon which the sneaker connected...or rather ENTERED...Bowser's behind.

"How's THAT for an "Inside Story"?" Toad giggled as he watched Bowser fall to the ground, convulsing in pain and howling as electrical stimuli coursed through his body.

"Y-you're a-you're a d-d-dead man!" The King of Koopas stuttered out, staggering back to his feet as Toad tried to help Nick get free of his own binds.

"Seriously, this chafing rope is going to be horrible for your skin." Toad insisted to Nick as Nick gave him an odd look.

"...Toad...can I ask you a few questions?" He wanted to know as Bowser and Alex faced off in the distance. "Like...um...what's your favorite TV show?"

"Oh, I'd LOVE to tell you all about it, cutie-pie!" Toad giggled, patting Nick on the leg slightly.

"...no offense, but I'm not comfortable having any guy put their hand on my leg-"

Loud, evil laughter. Nick turned his head to see none other than Master Hand descending from the sky, pointing at Nick. Quickly shooing Toad to the side, Nick held his fists up in a fighting stance as Master Hand cackled, the fighting around them all grinding to a halt.

"At long last, we meet on the field of battle. At long last I get to punish you, you manipulative little brat."

"You! Wanna talk about ME? Being MANIPULATIVE? You great big gloved **hypocrite**! You're the one who lied to Princess Peach and the others about that planned invasion! You're a PHONY." Nick growled.

"Well one phony knows another." Master Hand said. "My true purpose was in getting all eyes on you, the one who's able to manipulate all of reality around him. Your mere nature affects the way people react in the realms. The moment you decide to go evil, everyone here, even the nicest of them all, will turn into selfish anti-hero jackasses at best, and sociopathic monsters at worst. I knew a threat like you couldn't be left alone."

Master Hand had a point, Nick thought to himself. He, the Guide, had ways of influencing people. But all he could really do was bring out what was already in others, and he would NEVER want to bring out the evil in people. He only wanted to help these strange worlds that he'd come to love from afar.

"I would never become evil. I've no reason to." Nick insisted as he and Master Hand slowly circled each other, the air becoming thick with tension.

"You RAN from the last realm you were deposited in. You escaped with your tail between your legs because you couldn't take it. You could have prevented so much suffering. Perhaps you're not evil, but the fact is, that you're only human. You failed at a time when your powers would have been most useful." Master Hand snarled furiously, and Nick could feel something coming off of this being in waves...

Real, genuine hurt. Suddenly, Nick felt like scum. This guy, for all that he'd done, clearly felt that he was doing this for others. He honestly felt that Nick was a real threat. He honestly cared about what happened to the realms of fantasy, and **this**? This "Ass-Burgers"-afflicted teenager trying to balance his already-considerably stressful and weird life with his even-more-freakishly hard duties was the best hope for the worlds he loved?

Nick had barely been able to handle his girlfriend leaving him in Ozai. What next? Would he just decide to quit and leave if his new-found friends didn't like him anymore?

Apparently Master Hand thought so too, making Nick visibly blush with shame and embarrassment as he rattled off each declaration of fury. "What's **next**? Will you be feeling the pressure is too much when a sun goes out and needs reigniting?"

"...er...I..."

"Perhaps you'll feel that your need for a hug from your family is more urgent than saving humanity from an alien invasion?"

"Now c'mon, I-I wouldn't-"

"Or, just maybe, your desire to see your precious Lilo Pelekai again will tear you away from keeping a universe erased by an antimatter entity?" Master Hand whispered darkly.

"Bu-but...I...er...I..." Nick stuttered.

What could he say?

What SHOULD he say?

It was then that he said the first thing that came to his head.

"But I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't just up and leave. I've made mistakes, and I'll keep paying for them, but I'd never want to harm the worlds that these people live in. I only want to **help **them."

"Why?" Master Hand growled. "To atone for what you've done? To make up for something you never can? Are we your charity case, **boy**?"

"No." Nick said. "It's not about me. Helping these people would just be the right thing to do. And I don't need to explain myself any more than that." The young fifteen-turning-sixteen-year-old insiste firmly, waving one hand in the air in a "And that's that" fashion.

Silence. A long...long...silence.

And then...

"...you honestly mean that." Mario said quietly. "Master Hand, look what you've done. We were fighting over something we didn't need to fight over. This was all just one big misunderstanding. He's not a threat, THEY'RE not a threat, so let's all just sit down, talk this over, and figure out how we can join forces to make the multiverse a better place."

Master Hand sighed deeply, fingers hanging limp. "...well...you're the best judge of character I know, Mario. All right. I will...give this...newcomer...a fair shake-wait." Had he a face, he would have frowned. "Something isn't right. Weren't there two others like you here?" He asked Nick.

"Where the heck is Alex?" Erin managed to gasp out, grateful that Mario had let go of her, a visibly blue shade to her skin.

"Where the heck is Bowser?" Peach asked, clearly concerned.

...

...

...

...elsewhere, back in the land of Hyrule, Linwood Dragomir, aka Ganondorf Dragmire, was working on a little plan to get Zelda to his way of thinking. Basically, a little thing he liked to call "blackmail".

Yes, the most common denominator of villainy was being put to use once again. The problem was, how to go about doing it?

It was this that caused him to bring his "toady" of sorts, the faux Link, to his private quarters. Arriving stealthily through the hallways, the Link that was not Link removed his hat for a moment, dusting it off before folding his arms as he stood before his master Ganondorf, who was in front of a very large desk, with many papers sprawled out on them...and around the room.

"...master?" Dark Link frowned in annoyance, his voice, a slightly dark, almost faint echo of Link's own, emerged from his mouth as his form began to change. Green became black, the belt turned a dark grey, the kind but firm eyes of blue that had been within this Link's head changed, no longer stolen but now a burning, insidious shade of red, with a dark grey, nearly black skin tone...and white hair that fell down almost obscuring one eye.

"...what is this?" Dark Link asked.

"This...is me covering all of my bases. This is me not taking any chances. I've completely fleshed out all of my options." Ganondorf insisted, gesturing at the many papers that covered the walls of his ornate private quarters, which were a distasteful shade of burgundy and mauve. The man had no sense of style whatsoever, but what did you expect from someone who had spent eons in a white abyss and was now surrounded by 13th, 14th century-style citizens?

Dark Link rolled his eyes, looking at some of the papers on the wall. "...murder of the Diggers triggers latent sociopathic tendencies...forced to kill again?" He read out loud.

"Like I said, covering ALL my bases." Ganondorf insisted. "I've essentially broken my options down into three possibilities: threatening Zelda with the steady enslavement and destruction of her people, threatening Zelda with the utter annihilation of her beloved Link's family by wiping out the Diggers, or threatening Zelda with her beloved Link's death."

"...but he's not even-oh." Dark Link "got" it. "You mean having you "torture" or "kill" me in front of her to break her spirit?"

"Yes. I think, actually, I might do all of them, and save the option involving you for last." Ganondorf went on, a bit of a pleased expression dancing on his u-u-ugly features as he steepled his fingers, sitting comfortably behind his desk. "What say you?"

"I say..." Dark Link grinned.

THWOOSH! Ganondorf narrowly avoided getting a knife squarely in the head as Dark Link held up his false copy of the Master Sword, twirling it in his hands for a moment as he lifted his shield up with his other hand.

"That I'm tired of taking orders from you when I could just kill you and take everything you have for myself. Truth be told, I think me bringing back your decapitated head to Zelda would convince her that the "true Link" made everything all better." Dark Link went on, quickly shooting forward and striking at his former master, Ganondorf leaping away in time to avoid getting cut in half. The desk, however, was not so lucky, and papers went flying everywhere.

"You ungrateful..." Ganondorf growled.

Dark Link laughed. "The two of us will live happily-ever-after..." He crowed, Ganondorf pulling out his own enormous blade, the two rushing forward to meet eachother, sparks flying through the air as their blades met, trying to push each other to the ground.

"You haven't got a PRAYER, you insubordinate little shade!" Ganondorf snarled, suddenly kneeing Dark Link in the groin and knocking him squarely over the head with his elbow, forcing him to the ground. "I am the one taught you everything you know!"

THA-THWUKKA! A punch to Ganondorf's groin made HIM gasp and fall to the ground as Dark Link rose back up, staggering back slightly, panting.

"You taught me WELL." Dark Link whispered coldly.

Ganondorft responded by furiously roaring, leaping at Dark Link and dragging him to the ground. He then proceeded to vent his frustrations by pounding the CRAP out of the shade's face, each fist making a satisfying "KA-RUCHA-THRUCK" sound that made Ganondorf beam with pride inside his black, black heart.

Unfortunately for Ganondorf, this was when he decided to do something that was, in retrospect, a bad idea.

He got up to gloat, standing tall and proud, sneering so hard it looked like it should be hurting his jaw. "And now, for the coup de gras. I shall now send you, you annoyingly troublesome, ungrateful little pest, to the gap between dimensions! An oldie..." He turned around, chuckling, as he headed for the wall, biting into his finger to create a blood seal. "But a goodie."

He began to draw upon the wall, unaware that Dark Link was rising up. "That little attempt of yours to affirm your manhood was quite brief. Wasn't anything I didn't see coming, either, seeing as your origins are from the scum of the Earth...me." The sorcerer added with pride.

Dark Link notched an arrow in his bow.

"I'd spend time getting in the last laugh. Verbally wearing you down in your final moments. But that might give you JUST enough time to get up and strike back, so I'll get this over with..."

Ganondorf turned around. And kill you-"

Now.

The arrow lodged squarely in Ganondorf's head, his eyes briefly widening, hands held up in shock and surprise, body stiffening as death quickly set in, a foul-looking portal slowly opening up behind his dead-on-his-feet body as Dark Link calmly, with a sneer on HIS face, pushed his former master inside, watching him sink into the gap between dimensions.

A satisfied feeling rose in Dark Link as he clapped his hands off. "Well. That takes care of that."

"The things I just miss." Zelda called out, making the faux copy of Link's hair stand up briefly as he turned around, the Princess aiming an arrow straight at HIS head. "Well, sure...I won't miss YOU." She growled, eyes alit with cold fire.

...

...

...

...elsewhere, inside of a church, a lone figure sat within a confessional booth as impressive stone walls surrounded all sides of the flock within. The confessional, a cute little thing carved from silver and steel, sat to the side of the church pews, gleaming almost as beautifully as the crystalline altar itself. Within said booth was a young, red and blue-eyed mammalian/rodent-like alien, a "Muridean" who was nervously tugging at his fur and biting his lip, a tufted tail waving back and forth in the air.

"So...I have to know. Will I go blind, sir?"

"My son..." The Hierophant, head of the church said softly, his unseeing white eyes closed as he spoke with a thoughtful voice, balled antennae hanging low over his head. "How do you think I came to be?"

"_EEEEEK_." The little thing in the other end of the booth squeaked in horror, his three-digited paws almost tearing his long, rabbit-like ears from his head.

"I jest, I jest." The Hierophant insisted. "Science says "No", but the Lord can be a vengeful, ah, what is the term you young dibbuns use? Motherf—ker. Yes, that's it. If I were you, I would give it a rest for a week, and learn to, ah..." The Irken priest shrugged. "Regulate it."

"Thank you, Mr. Hierophant." The young lad said.

"Not a problem. Say hi to to your father for me."

"EEEEEEEEK."

The blind Irken smiled to himself as he leaned back in the confessional, holding up a remote from the folds of his white robes. "As if I didn't already know it was you, Junior." He laughed gently. "And keep your hands out of the holy water for the next week, if you don't mind."

"...yes sir." Junior squeaked as he left the confessional, the Irken activating a secret teleporter that he'd installed inside said confessional with a click of a button. In moments he was transported up to an orbiting satellite on the far side of the moon, the headquarters of the Evil Genius Organization.

Quickly striding along the familiar path, he opened up the set of double doors, folding his arms behind his back and bowing slightly before addressing a NEW "congregation" of sorts. Only what now was before him was now a crowd of individuals needing moral guidance, but a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

"I was contacted by Dr. Eggman from "that region". Should all work well, my friends, then we'll have an unwitting pawn who will help us gain direct control over it all...a fool who will allow us to set up shop right where we need to be. I almost felt bad not letting him know we'd been in contact with beings from his side."

"Almost?" An amused, faintly sophisticated voice rang out, a faint buzzing echoing in the undertone.

"Yes. Almost."

"More than I can say I've ever felt for fools such as Ivo." Another voice, one with a faint Scottish accent lingering on, added. "Darth, how eager is he to meet with us?"

"He wants to see our latest voting session. He'll actually arrive in our realm in a few days. Therefore, I will need our newest members to, regrettably, make themselves scarce."

"WHAT?" A slightly annoyed, high-pitched voice growled in a faint white. "How dare you force an Emperor to vacate-"

"We don't really have the time for your whining, PERCIVAL." A feminine voice spoke up, bubbly, cheerful...with an edge. "He's absolutely right."

"DON'T CALL ME PERCIVAL!" The other voice screeched. "See the crown? The scepter? The impressive throne? The alien pet by my side? EM! PER! OR!"

"Be silent, "Percival". Ah, my dear, when you are right, you are right. And you? You are always right." A deep, suave voice intoned beneath heavy armor.

"It's a shame. It would be rather nice to let dear Eggman in on the secret." Another, slightly higher-pitched voice added, a faint ring of authoritativeness within it, one that was underscored by the unmistakable undercurrent of someone who was not quite right in the head. The gates were down, the lights were flashing, but the train just wasn't coming in this being's head...this being that was next in line to be Grand Scion.

"...so we're all agreed?" Another voice spoke up, a passionate member of the demanded to know. "Good! VERY good! Well. I think we should celebrate."

"...evil coffee and doughnuts?" The feminine voice asked.

"All in favor, say "aye"."

"**AYE**!"

One by one all of them left the room, save for the female, who stayed behind with the Grand Scion, aka the Hierophant.

"Darth, a quick question. Was there anything else that Dr. Eggman told you?" She wanted to know.

"As a sign of good faith, he agreed to tell me about his organization's most interesting and possibly most dangerous threat. One who, apparently, has unknown control over the nature of the universe."

"Who would that be?"

"He told me his name was Nick." Darth spoke softly, not willing to betray the large pang of remorse and nostalgia in his unseeing "jelly eyes".

The female grinned, stepping out of the darkness...a round pink ball with two small, vaguely cat-like ears and enormous large eyes that glittered like a pair of aquamarine gemstones and a curl of hair upon it's forehead. Putting it's tiny "arms" on it's "hips", Jigglypuff, one of the more secretive and more devious members of Evil Genius Organization, laughed.

"I'd imagine "Mother" is part of the organization he belongs to. She and I are ooooold friends. I'll call her up on our special hotline and be over in her place in a few days."

"It's always nice to know I can rely on you, my dear." The blind Irken said politely.

"Stooooop." Jigglypuff giggled, her face blushing slightly. "I've gone bright red, you charmer, you!"


	18. Chapter 18

A question remains unanswered. Where the heck had Alex and Bowser gone to?

Well, the two had gotten far away from the original battleground and were now situated in the center of a forest clearing, with Bowser putting up his dukes, growling darkly at Alex, who was ready for a full-on brawl, his powers creating a crackling field of electricity around him. Were the situation not life or death, Bowser might have found the fact that the electricity was making Alex's hair all poofy to be amusing.

"Do you think I'm afraid of you?" Bowser laughed.

"I've triumphed over the essence of evil." Alex said calmly.

"I AM the essence of evil, you little TWERP!" Bowser snarled.

Then an idea hit him. Bowser knew that this human had strange powers. And he sincerely doubted that he could win fighting the way he currently was. Bowser might not have been the BRIGHTEST bulb in the bunch, but he did have a big streak of deviousness flowing through him. How else do you think he was able to trick Princess Peach so many times, thus kidnapping her?

"Put the shield down." Bowser said quietly, speaking persuasively.

Alex blinked stupidly, mouth open slightly agape. "What." It was not a question. It was a statement of pure, utter disbelief. What, he's doing this? No way, no way!

"Put the shield down. We're men, let's fight like men." Bowser said proudly, blowing fake dust off of his fists and punching at the air like he was Rubin Carter.

"..." Alex was quiet for what seemed to be a long, long time. Finally the electrical crackling faded from the air, his brown hair neatly falling back down as he put up his own fists, he and the koopa king circling each other as if it was a true blue boxing match. "Alright...fine. But I'm warning you." Alex said. "They taught us how to box at our school. I remember the teacher's words as clear as day: "You'll settle it with gloves as Christ intended"."

Alex shuddered slightly. "In fact, I still have some of Father Cronin's fossilized spit in my hair, most likely. Not that I can ever remember a part of the Bible where Jesus went a few rounds with the Pharisees." He informed the Koopa King,s shrugging nonchalantly.

"Oh, you boxed, eh?" Bowser laughed. "Well I EXECUTE PEOPLE AS **MY** HOBBY." The enormous lizard roared, suddenly retreating into his spiky shell and raced towards Alex with all the deadly skill and precision of a finely-aimed buzzsaw.

"Oh s-" Alex leapt to the side, barely dodging Bowser's spinning assault, rolling away. "You **cheated** you overgrown turtle!"

"VILLAIN!" Bowser yelled out, rushing back at Alex and making the Briton dodge to the side once again. Alex was getting pretty freakin' tired of this. Fine, he thought to himself as Bowser came around for another attempt. If Bowser wanted to play with fire, then...

He got burned.

A deep breath...

THA-THWOOOOOOM. A belch of incredible flame shot through the air at Bowser, bathing his body in flames as Alex finally inhaled, taking several deep breaths as he waited for the smoke to clear.

BA-BAM! A punch to the gut knocked him flying into the air and Bowser cackled, laughing uproariously. "Are you serious? FIRE? I was **BORN** in this!"

"Your parents must have HATED you." Alex wisecracked, quickly coming down on Bowser's head with a harsh, powerful kick that knocked the Koopa King squarely into the ground. Now the enormous turtle/dragon/thingy was stuck, trying to desperately pull himself out with his claws as his tail lashed back and forth. He looked like a giant, overgrown, reptilian ostrich.

"That's a good look for you. Now hold still." Alex growled, holding up one hand as lightning twirled around it like a flamenco dancer. He thrust his fist forward as Bowser finally managed to get his head up.

KRAKA-KROOOOOM! Bowser was knocked back through the air, letting out a long, pained cry as the rest of our formerly-embattled protagonists raced towards the sound of the ass-kicking. Or rather, due to the nature of the one doing it, an "arse" kicking.

"We got off on the wrong foot." Alex said as he grabbed ahold of Bowser's tail and began sweeping him around and around. "Probably, oh, WHEN YOU TRIED TO BEAT MY FRIEND TO DEATH!"

"AAAAAA!" Bowser screeched, bawling like a baby, arms a-flailin' wildly.

"Now, maybe you don't much LIKE people like him, but that's no reason to, as I mentioned before, BEAT HIM TO DEATH!" Alex snapped, letting go of Bowser, making the koopa king fly into a tree. Actually, the enormous firebreather broke through the tree and slammed into a very-conveniently-placed boulder that was right behind it, causing enormous cracks to form, making the thing shatter and fall around the collapsed monarch.

"Ohhhhhh...my heaaaaad..." Bowser mumbled out.

"Pooooowwww baayyybeeeee." Alex growled, holding up a fist and advancing. He was econds away from smashing Bowser's cranial cavity in. "The pain will stop vewwy, vewwy soon-"

"ALEEEEX!" A voice yelled out.

Alex's head snapped up and he turned around to see Nick's hair had turned white, and his form was slowly changing into a golden-jacketed being of incredible familiarity. "Thaaaat's enough, Rocky. I think Clubber Lang knows who's the boss now."

"Oh, you've joined together?" Alex mused as the others approached, Bowser being helped by Peach. "Gave peace a chance?"

"It hurts all over." Bowser mumbled. "Especially my head...can you, uh...kiss it and make it better?" He whimpered to her.

"...just this once." She said gently, kissing him on top of the head, making the reptilian monarch blush deeply.

"Uh, sir, your pizza?" Kooper asked, holding up Bowser's pizza.

"Not NOW." Bowser snapped. "I'm having a "moment"!"

"I'm just glad we ended this as soon as we did." White spoke up before suddenly, briefly, flaring fully back into Nick, who tugged at his hair, letting out a scream.

"What is it?" Link wished to know, a realization slowly falling into place, like finding the last piece of a puzzle directly under your chair seat.

"AIII-YAAAAH! How long have we been away from Hyrule? Zelda could be marrying Ganondork right NOW." Nick gasped in horror. "For all we know, the wedding date could have been moved up a week or something, we have to get back to Hyrule!"

"Oh my Goddesses, you're right. I do not trust Ganondorf as far as I can throw him. He's probably thought up some elaborate plan and is implementing it even now against Zelda." Link whispered as Master Hand, rubbed his chin...or rather, had he the means to do so, that's what he would have done.

"Poor Zelda, she's probably worried **sick** about you." Nick murmured, shaking his head back and forth.

...

...

...

... "I should have known that you weren't Link." Zelda said as she and Dark Link slowly circled each other in the now-wrecked room, Zelda holding her arrowhead high, aiming for Dark Link's evil, black heart. She wanted to just shoot him, but no, no, that wasn't chivalrous. She couldn't have just shot him in the back when he least expected it. She wasn't HIM, after all. She wasn't Ganondorf.

"Yes, I suppose you should have. You are not as **smart** as you make yourself out to be." Dark Link spoke calmly, his voice like slick oil oozing through water, poisoning anything in it's path.

"What have you done?" Zelda demanded to know. "You tell me now, shade! What have you done?"

"It's called a cruel irony. My master ended up in the gap between dimensions he sought to send me to. It's delicious, really." Dark Link mused, smiling happily.

"I do not find it "delicious", shade. I find it sickening. In fact, I find YOU sickening." Zelda muttered balefully. Were she a guy, she would have spat at him, but a proper lady didn't do such vulgar behavior. "You are a foul, evil being and I can't pity you. I'm not going to give you a noble end. You don't deserve it, trying to take advantage-"

"My dear, if you kill me, you'll never find out what truly happened to Link." Dark Link said quietly, suggestively.

Instantly Zelda's bow lowered slightly as her eyes widened ever-so-slightly. "St-stop that! You are seeking to confuse me, shade! I shall not fall for your tricks!"

"True, I could be seeking to confuse you, to lull you into a false sense of security. The question then comes down to this: can you well and truly take that chance?" Dark Link whispered, slowly walking towards her, speaking persuasively, eyes glittering like dark red rubies.

"I-I..."

She should just shoot. Why couldn't she just shoot him?

"You may never know where Link is without my help. For all you know, he could be dead, and I could be the only one who knows where he has gone." Dark Link went on, almost within arm's reach of the bow.

"Stay BACK!" Zelda snapped, her voice nearly hysterical. But Dark Link's words were hitting far too close to home for comfort.

"Kill me, and you'll never know...and I know enough about you to know that's the one thing you absolutely hate: not knowing."

So...so...tempting. So tempting to just say "yes" and hear him out.

But Zelda was not stupid. Yes, it was tempting to hear him out. But this was someone who had stabbed his own master in the back and would have gone on fooling her into thinking he was Link. For all she knew, he was planning on-

That did it. She trusted her instinct. The arrow flew through the air and went straight into Dark Link's hand as he reached out to take said bow and arrow away. Screaming, he reeled back, the silver tip burning him deeply, his demonic existence savagely damaged by the rare metal. Snarling, Dark Link leaped away, jumping for the window ledge and giving Zelda a baleful look as black blood drizzled down his hand with the stench and appearance of eons-old tar.

"I suppose I'll have to find a different time to get to work on you. We shall do a...what is the term? "Rain check" on this fight. Believe me, I will be back, and I will take EVERYTHING from you that you hold dear." Dark Link snarled, instantly melting into nothing more than a shadow that raced down the castle walls, heading off for the recesses of a forest.

Zelda let out a long, deep sigh, sitting down in a nearby chair and brushing some sweat from her brow. Finally...it was over. No more nasty surp-

"SURPRISE!" Nick called out, poking his head in through the doorway, Link standing just by him. Zelda shrieked, quickly notching another arrow before finally realizing who it was. "Oop. Is this a bad time?" Nick asked the shocked princess.

"Nick...Link? Is it...really you?" She asked the two of them.

"Yes, it's me." Link said gently, moving forward and taking her hand. "And I have quite the story to tell you about where the two of us have been."

"It's a long, long story indeed. But we'd better tell you it AFTER we introduce you to our benefactor who was so kind as to open a portal here." Nick added, holding a finger up in the air.

"Benefactor?"

"A great, big, giant talking hand that looks like a glove." Link explained.

Link couldn't lie, Zelda knew this. So, naturally, the only response she could give to something like this was "I think you'd better start telling me this story right now..."

...

...

...

...it was not long before Zelda had met with Master Hand and the respective forces of Mobius and the Mushroom Kingdom. Thankfully, she didn't really find either side TOO odd. Understandable, considering where she herself came from, after all, her species had long ears to hear messages from the spirits. Talking hedgehogs sounded perfectly reasonable after you'd been snatched into the air by a flying dragon to be brought before rock people that could play BITCHIN' guitar.

So she explained her story about the Goddesses within the forest as Master Hand floated overhead, listening intently as Link held Zelda's hand through the whole tale, Nick nervously chewing on his lip as Zelda finally finished.

"...well...I guess I shouldn't be too surprised hearing that." Nick admitted. "From where I come from, originally it WAS "gods" not "goddesses" that made Hyrule, then the story got changed over time...now I know why." He sighed, hanging his head. "What are we going to do? We can't just leave Hyrule in the hands of fratricidal goddesses."

"We have, regrettably, more pressing issues." Master Hand informed them all. "There are worlds with close connections, as you know, and one of these words is currently embroiled in a war. If we don't do something to end it, it'll spill out, beginning with Sonic's realm."

"And...you know this HOW?" Samus mumbled, giving him a skeptical look.

"My dear, I can open up portals to other worlds with ease. I have a seventh sense for sensing crisises in...crisesers...cris...uh..." He stuttered nervously, trying to think up the right word.

"Crises." Samus finished bluntly.

"Yes. Crises. I have a seventh sense for telling where they're coming from and the power to bring people there."

"What's your sixth sense?" Pikachu inquired, looking mildly intrigued.

"...that's _private_." Master Hand mumbled quickly, and Nick was CERTAIN that he could see a faint blush coming to the gigantic gloved hand's form. "Now, we'll need to set up a base of operations and work together, for there are other worlds that are also close to peril. I'll erect a waypoint nexus, a place where we can freely jump into these realms whilst being able to relax and train ourselves."

"You wanna be the Professor X to our X-Men? WOW, this is SWEET." Nick said cheerily, rubbing his hands together.

"I LOVE X-Men!" Kirby cheered, making Nick blink in surprise. He knew about the X-Men? "Hey, can I be Wolverine?"

"No. Wolverine isn't soft and fluffy. You're more like...The Blob." Alex said calmly.

"...I could be hardcore if I WANTED to." Kirby mumbled as Master Hand rose up high into the air, pointing with his pointer finger into the sky.

"STAND BACK." He growled. "A little of this...a little of that...and...HOOWAAAAH!" With a loud roar, his finger seemed to erupt like a volcano, spewing immense, pulsing energy beams into the sky, ripping reality asunder as everyone saw the environment slowly fade away into utter white...

Now all were in a white abyss, but even THAT was changing. Beautiful rolling hills, a clear blue sky...a pretty patch of forest surrounding the most majestic, cozy-looking mansion that they had ever seen, large patches of flowers lining up a well-paved path to a set of double doosr that had a double knocker made of gold...

"...my-my-my." Mewtwo mused as he floated up the path, leading the way inside the picturesque mansion, gazing around it. "This is to be our new home?"

"Yes. I will send you on missions." Master Hand said in an "official-sounding" voice, trying to be cool and sort of failing. "...after lunch." He added. "I'm hungry."

"...me too." Kirby realized, his stomach letting out a low, deep groan as Samus nervously chewed her lip. Truth be told...they were ALL hungry.

And there were two large armies in need of food, and all they had at the moment was a pizza. Don't get me wrong, it was a lovely, lovely pizza. But they needed more.

"I know how to cook." Nick offered. "I'll set up a barbeque out back! Kirby, will you be so kind as to help me?" He wanted to know.

"You want it, you GOT it." Kirby said cheerily.

"I'll assist with you." Pikachu added, holding his paws together and bowing deeply.

"YOU can cook?" Kirby inquired.

"I cooked meals for my brother all the time after our parents died. I make a MEAN _gyoza_ dish." Pikachu said, nodding firmly.

"Gyoza?" Sonic inquired.

"Dumplings."

Sonic licked his lips. "Do we have plates and stuff in the kitchen?" He asked Master Hand.

"Always restocking." Master Hand explained. "And a fully-stuffed larder and refrigerator."

"How is this all POSSIBLE?" Samus wished to know as the guys began to get to work on setting up the barbeque, the enormous throngs of hungry fighters heading for the immense backyard of the mansion.

"It's magic, silly. I don't need to explain it!" Master Hand laughed.

...

...

...

...it was not long before Sonic and Mario were sitting together with their friends at tables in the backyard of the enormous, pristine mansion, several grills situated up as White, having taken over Nick's body anew, put on an apron he'd found in a closet, which read "Kiss the Cook". The sweet smell of sizzling hot dogs and burgers was wafting through the air as Kirby, wearing a chef's hat, approached White and Pikachu at their grills, holding up a large chicken.

"Think this is big enough?" He asked them.

"...is that...Billy?" One of Jet the Hawk's avian friends inquired.

"Could be."

"Billy always had big thighs."

"I PROMISE you all, all of them were free-range, humanely-treated farm animals." Master Hand insisted quickly to the sapients, making them breath sighs of relief as Mewtwo got to work at his own little station, making vegetarian cuisine. An odd smell was rising up from his grill, luring Kirby over.

"What's that?" Kirby wanted to know, pointing to the thing on the grill.

"These are fried green tomatoes." Mewtwo said calmly. "You have not lived until you have had fried green tomatoes. But it's good to see you enjoy the fine art of cooking." The psychic cat added with a nod, looking impressed with Kirby's interest in cuisine.

"Hey, any chance I get to stick my hand up a something's butt without being called a freak is great, buddy!" Kirby said cheerily, holing up one "hand" in the air as he headed over to his little grill to flavor the chicken, Mewtwo shuddering in disgust as Erin watched Kirby grill.

"Might I give this a try?" Alex asked.

"Very well." Pikachu handed Alex his spatula. "I will give you a test. Flip the gyoza over at juuuust the right time. In turn...I will teach you all I know of the fine arts of Japanese cuisine." Pikachu added, bowing deeply as a gong seemed to reverberate through the air.

"How will I know when to flip them?" Erin wanted to know.

"**Trust the meat**." Pikachu said wisely.

Erin took the spatula in hand, nervously chewing her lip as she looked down at the dumplings that were being fried. She brought the spatula closer...closer...

TEN MINUTES LATER...

Erin nervously stroked one of her long locks of hair, nervously chewing on her lip as she made her way through the kitchen, opening up one of the top drawers, painted a beautiful shade of stylish purple to match the fine colors around her. Peach sat on a nearby chair, Samus standing alongside of her, arms folded, looking slightly annoyed by Erin's skittishness.

"Why do you smell like that?"

"I didn't trust the meat."

"Dear GOOOOD!" King sobbed from inside the bathroom, scrubbing his teeth free of the foul taste of bad dumplings. Elsewhere, Mewtwo was filling in for White, who was heading inside the house, speaking with Mario, Luigi and Bowser. He saw Erin in the kitchen and nervously blushed, waving at her before heading into the living room.

"You really like him, huh?" Samus asked.

"...yeah. But...well..." Erin leaned back against the wall slightly, sighing. "I sometimes wonder if...if maybe I might be making a mistake."

Samus was a lot of things, and intuitive was one of them. She immediately could tell Erin's problem and her usual bluntness rose quickly to burble out of her chapped lips. "You're overthinking something that you shouldn't be." Samus insisted.

No seriously, she had REALLY chapped lips. It was the fault of the helmet she wore. Can you imagine how warm and humid it gets? That's bad for your skin.

"Well, shouldn't I take love seriously? Think about it long and hard?" Erin wanted to know.

"There's long and hard, and then there's overthinking. You? Overthinking, Arosean." Samus told her calmly.

"How do you FEEL about him? Tell us that, not what you THINK about him." Peach insisted.

Erin took out a large cup and went to the fridge, pouring herself a nice glass of berry juice, sipping it slightly before getting a wistful look. "Well..." She murmured, putting the juice down and nervously looking through the window in the kitchen out to the door that led to the living room, seeing White standing there, speaking with Mario and Luigi and Bowser.

"Yes?"

"_**He is the man that I plan to entangle, isn't he fine?**_

_**Soft, bouncy hair and a beautiful stare, I'm glad that he's miiiine!  
He's such a brainy whiz...the name I'll take, I'm glad it's his,**_

_**The only trouble is-**_"__ a moment of hesitation, Erin nervously bit her lip.

"Yeah?"

"..._**I'll never tell.**_" Erin mumbled, sipping her juice again as Peach scooted up closer.

"Come OONNNN. Spill it!" Peach insisted.

"Look at her." White said happily, wistfully, as he stared through the living room door window at the sight of Erin speaking with Samus and Peach. "Just...just look at her."

"Well, there's only ONE girl for me, but I admit, if I was into red-heads, I'd be a lookin'...and a likin'." Bowser said, giving White a suggestive shoulder-bump.

"_**She is the one, she's such wonderful fun, **_

_**Such passion and grace...**_

_**Warm in the night, when I'm holding her right,**_

_**In a sweet, tight embraaaaace!**_" White sang out, holding one hand to his chest, wistfully sighing once again.

"She's really that special, eh?" Mario asked, giving White a supportive nod. "I know what you mean, I know how you feel. I've felt that way about Peach."

"Really?" White asked.

"_**I'll never let her go...**_

_**The love we've known can only grow!**_"

"_**There's just one thing that-no."**_ White nervously chewed his lip. _**"...I'll never tell."**_

Erin and White shook their heads. _**"Cuz there's nothing to tell!"**_

"C'mon. Spill." Samus insisted.

"You're obviously concerned about SOMETHING. Come on!" Luigi advised.

"...He snores."

"She wheezes."

"Say "housework" and he freezes!"

"She eats these freaky cheeses that I just can't stand!"

"I talk, he BREEZES, and he doesn't know what "please" is!"

"She went and broke my guitar from my favorite band!"

White and Erin held their respective heads, groaning. "_**The viiibe gets kinda scaaaary..."**_

"Like she thinks I'm ordinary!"

"Like it's all just TEMPORARY!"

"And I think her toes are hairy, but it's all very well..."

"Cuz GOD knows, I'll never tell!"

"Aw, there could be worse things to be worried over." Peach insisted. "I mean, to be honest, I've had...relationship concerns."

"really?" Erin whimpered, giving Peach a puppy dog look as she leaned in closer.

"Truth be told, sometimes I've wondered what it would be like to date Luigi! But...well..." Peach shrugged. _**"When there's some trouble or other, he hides behind his brother-"**_

"She reminds me of Nick's mother." White mumbled.

"OHH! We did NOT need to know." Bowser moaned, covering his eyes.

"Mamma-mia..." Mario gaped.

"Also, she's really needy..."

"And he tends to be real greedy, and plus his eyes are beady-"

"Hey, it's MY turn, hello?" White snapped, sticking his head in through the doorway for a moment, SOMEHOW hearing her take up extra time. "She-"

Suddenly Erin began dancing around, spinning and shimmying. "Lookit me!" She laughed. "I'm a dancin' fool!" She told her boyfriend, taking White's hand and spinning him around. Soon White joined in, and the two congaed around the kitchen, finally ending by scooting up close to each other.

"You know...you're quite the charmer, oh knight in armor!" Erin cooed, giving White a kiss on the lips.

"You're the cutest little beauty, with your hair as red as rubies and your firm yet supple-" White quickly decided to keep the conversation "PG". "...TIGHT EMBRACE."

White then gently led Erin over to the couch in the living room, the two sitting down together and hugging each other tightly...unaware that the two were thinking very concerned thoughts.

"He's swell..."

"She's sweller."

"He'll always be my feller!"

"That's why I just can't tell her how I'm PETRIFIED..." White murmured in his head.

"I've read this tale, there's wedding, then betrayal...I know there'll come the day I'll wanna run and hide!"

"They LIIIIIED, they said "it's eaaasy"! I've triiiiied, but there's these fears I can't queeeell!" The two thought to themselves, nervously pulling away, pawing at their hair, rubbing the back of their necks.

"Is he looking for a pot of gold?"

"Will I look good when I've gotten old?"

"Will my life become too stressful if I get far too successful?"

"When I get all old and wrinkly will I look like David Brinkley?"

"Am I crazy? Am I dreaming?"

"Am I marrying a demon?"

_**"We could really raise the bar for making marriage a hell, but GOD knows we'll never tell!"**_ The two sang out, standing up and holding their hands over their hearts. _**"We swear that we'll never tell!"**_

"My lips are sealed." White insisted.

"I take the fifth." Erin agreed.

"Nothing to say."

"Movin' along."

_**"We'll never...**__**tell**__**!" **_

And with that, the two of them broke out into hearty laughter which rang through the house, laughter which soon stopped on White's half as Mewtwo entered the room.

"Oh! How are the burgers coming?"

"You know, I'd read that charcoal is an excellent aid in a person's diet."

"...that's fine." White said nervously, pink eyes slightly narrowing as Mewtwo shrugged. "How are the BURGERS coming?"

"It deactivates stomach toxins and absorbs poisons in the body."

"...Mario, go check on those burgers!" White screamed out as smoke began to waft into the mansion from the outside.

"Somebody get-a HOSE-a!" Mario yelled out as the unmistakable smell of fire filled everyone' nostrils, Mewtwo smiling in a slightly disturbing fashion as he sat down in a nearby chair, waving a paw dismissively in the air.

"Whitens teeth, freshens breath, treats allergies, why, the benefits go on and on..."

"Could ANYBODY be in more Hell than me right now?" Mario wondered as he tried to put out the fire that had spread to his signature cap, Master Hand sobbing over the charred remains of his once-finest grill.

...

...

...

...as a matter of fact, the answer was "Yes". For you see, the realm that Master Hand had spoken of was in the midst of a terrible war.

It had all begun simply enough. The Lylat System, home to many a peaceful sapient of various species, had one particular crown jewel of a planet, a planet known as Corneria. The finest military minds, the most brilliant scientists, the best of the best worked for Corneria, and one of the best...was Dr. Andross.

Unfortunately, the ape sentient went positively insane. His experiments, once beneficial, began to devastate Corneria's ecosystem, and he was banished to the distant planet Venom. They had thought that was the end of it.

They were wrong.

They were VERY wrong.

What should the general of Corneria's forces discover several years after, but strange acvitiy coming from Venom's surface? Being the smart man that he was and not wanting to risk the lives of an entire army, he sent a team to investigate and halt Dr. Andross's new tricks. A damn good team.

They would have gotten away with it too, if it hadn't been for a traitor within.

And now, the son of the betrayed had risen. Now Fox McCloud wished to avenge his father's death. Flying alongside his dad's best friend and his two other dear friends, he would take up his dad's mantle. He would lead the new Star Fox team.

"He...will win." Fox said to himself in the mirror, clenching his fist triumphantly, green eyes blazing. The fox sapient had orange-brown fur with white-highlighted hair atop his head in a sort of crew cut, with cream-colored skin and a bushy, white-tipped tail. In fact, as far as sapients went, he looked positively dashing. Almost a splitting image of his dad, save for the lack of shades.

The shades. Heh. Fox sat down in his bed at his base, leaning back against the steely walls as he gazed up at the light fixture. Peppy Hare, his dad's dear friend, had always said James McCloud ALWAYS flew with shades on. JUST to prove to everyone else that he was so good he could fly practically blindfolded.

Yeah, Fox had inherited his dad's good looks...his cockiness...his ego. But also his heart, and his dear concern for his teammates. And it was a certain teammate that now came into his mind.

Dare he go into dear Slippy Toad's room? Dare he speak with him?

He dared. Getting off the bed, Fox headed out into the hallways of the "Great Fox", their floating haven, an enormous spaceship of gleaming white like a giant pearl in the heavens. Knocking on Slippy's door, Fox called out. "Slippy? Slippy, you in there?"

Slippy's slightly grating, high-pitched voice responded almost instantly. "Getting my clothes on, getting my clothes on!"

"Slippy, I just want you to know, you don't HAFTA come out with us on this first mission. I mean, if you're scared..." Fox spoke comfortingly.

"Fox, don't baby me. I can DO this, I can!" Slippy said, opening up the door, revealing his green, froggy form. He was kind of a chubster, and almost sounded girly in pitch, but the sheer joy and energy emanating from his eyes more than made up for that. "Corneria needs us."

A ringing siren rang through the air and Fox's ears stiffened. They were approaching Corneria.

It was time for launch.

"Let's go." Fox said firmly, and he took off running with Slippy, heading for the launch bay. Time to go to work.

Time to make daddy proud.


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

"I want to thank you again for agreeing to work this out." Mario said as he shook hands with Sonic, the others already long-departed for the Mushroom Kingdom and Mobius. The two now stood in the backyard of the mansion, Master Hand having erected a portal to take everyone who wasn't needed for immediate world-saving back home. "Promise me you'll make sure Bowser doesn't try anything with Peach?" He asked again, for what was probably the tenth time.

Sonic firmly nodded and grinned at Mario. "I won't even let 'em look in her direction." He told Mario before giving everyone a thumbs up, leaping into the swirling portal as Master Hand turned his attention towards Mewtwo, who was patting Pikachu on the head, a comforting expression on his face.

"I...am not entirely good with speeches." He said. "But I have a duty to others in the Pokémon world to let them know of the truth, and to right the wrong I've allowed to occur in my delusional pride. I expect you to be there for Nick and to be his, ah..." He struggled to find the right word.

"Yojimbo? A bodyguard?" Pikachu mused, head tilted to the side ever-so-slightly as he smiled at the psychic cat.

"Yes, yes." Mewtwo said. "...so."

"So."

A long, long pause. Mewtwo seemed almost on the verge of making some impressive, grand speech, but finally what came out instead was short and to the point.

"...goodbye."

With that, Mewtwo and the other Pokémon walked into their own portal as White, still using Nick's body, waved goodbye, sighing slightly. He was gonna miss them...but they had work to do, just as the others did. Turning to Master Hand, the albino asked the obvious question.

"I want back in my own body, how we gonna get split again? WITHOUT me getting killed?"

"That could take some...special magic." Princess Zelda said. She too was in front of a portal of her own...the people of Hyrule needed her, and she needed to come up with a believable explanation for what had happened to "Linwood". "However, my royal library has many a tome on the subject. If Ms. Nightshade would be so kind as to come with me, we could work together as a pair and find the answer."

"Why don't you want me to come along?" White wanted to know, folding his arms and giving a slight pout. "I mean, you're cute, but the ears are a total turn-off and I AM spoken-"

"I would ask you, but, to be fair, when I look at your white hair I keep thinking back to...well...him." Zelda shuddered slightly, her skin crawling at the thought of Dark Link. "Please do not take it personally, I just am not comfortable around thee."

"It's alright, I understand." White said, holding his tipless-gloved hands up. "But I want you to take GOOD, good care of my baby, alright?" He insisted, walking over to Erin and holding her chin up, giving her a long, loving kiss.

"Is that TONGUE I see?" Master Hand commented.

"EWWWW. Dude!" Kirby cried out, covering his mouth with his little stubby hands.

"There are CHILDREN present, Mr. White." Samus said, giving him a "Keep it in your pants" look, shaking her head back and forth as White stopped the kiss, Erin smiling at them all.

"You take good care of MY baby, okay?" She asked, giving them all a wave before stepping into the portal that led to Hyrule with Zelda. However...there were two portals left open, situated by a single apple tree in the far end of the backyard...

Master Hand floated down towards them before turning around, clearing his "throat" by making a fist for a brief moment. "As you are aware of, there are worlds in peril. One world is in the middle of a war and is close to spilling out into Sonic's own realm. Another realm is home to someone who would be of great use to us, but who's heroic spirit is being corrupted by an underground crime ring."

"Who is that?" White asked.

"His name is Douglas." Master Hand said simply. "He's a racer at a place known as Mute City. I will divide you up into two teams and dispense you to these worlds to bring Douglas here, and to put an end to the war by assisting another helpful soul, a sapient by the name of Fox McCloud."

"Fox McCloud, eh?" White smiled and held up a hand, clenching it into a fist. "I'm used to sapients, they feel comfortable around me. Why don'tcha let me take on that world?"

"Very well. You'll be joining Pikachu, Kirby Yoshi, Ms. Aran and Mr. Hardie." Master Hand informed the albino as Aran put her helmet back on, nodding in agreement as Alex held up his hands, taking a strange, defensive stance that vaguely resembled karate.

"Why him? I could get the others. Ms. Aran, once she gets that helmet on, NOBODY knows what's inside. Yoshi, Pikachu, they could all be mistaken for aliens, but Alex?" White raised an eyebrow, his tone becoming almost mocking. "I mean, seriously, why-"

Then they all saw why. Alex slammed his fist into the ground, and fur sprouted up from where it had struck, spreading up his arm and across his body as he shrank, resembling a mammalian, almost koala-like creature with grey fur, rather large ears and two tiny little antennae. Three long spiny spikes jutted out from his back with a SNIKT sound, as two pairs of arms were raised in the air, beating a furry chest.

Alex stood there, arms folded, smiling firmly at them all. He had transformed into some kind of...alien. An alien White recognized in appearance...sort of...from Nick's memory.

Wisely, he said nothing about the specifics. He just shrugged. "Fine by me."

"Mario, Luigi, Link, you'll head to Mute City. They're used to seeing strange beings there, you won't be too "out-of-town" in appearance." Master Hand explained. "However, there are three things you'll need to remember."

"Yes?" Mario asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small notepad with a pencil. How handy that he carried such a thing around! Apparently Mario always came prepared with infinite-pocket-space! ...patent pending.

"Remember, you're searching for a racer named Douglas Jay Falcon. Secondly, you're to get him out of the underground crime ring as soon as possible, it's damaging his spirit every day, turning him closer to the side of evil. And thirdly..."

Master Hand "looked" as best a giant, floating gloved hand could in Link's direction. "Link, in particular, you be wary. The people you will meet in the city are no strangers to lying. Don't let yourself be fooled by any tricks. Trust your instincts above all else."

"That's all the help you can-a give us? Can't you tell them exactly WHERE Meester Douglas is?" Luigi asked, putting his hands on his hips. "I'd really appreciate a lot more help, sir, ah-no offense!"

"I'm afraid not. I've got SEMI-phenomenal cosmic powers." Master Hand apologized. "I have to dig down deep into my soul and yank out the power I need and then an idea that's somewhat helpful yet usually slightly impractical pops into my head."

"It's okay." Mario insisted in a polite and courteous tone of voice. "We don't-a mind. Thank you for your help, Master Hand."

"One more thing before you enter the portal." Master Hand informed the two teams. "...I'll try and send help, to an extent. To reach out and assist you in various ways, in "Acts of God", but I'll be able to assist you the closer you come to completing your goal. Think of yourself as spreading my influence through the galaxy with each good deed you do: the more influence I have, the greater my assistance can be."

"Well, THAT'S the kind of motivational speech I like to hear!" White laughed, rubbing his hands together.

"Let's get moving." Samus ordered. "And no screw ups."

...

...

...

...the Lylat system. Well-populated, colorful...home to many a sapient. We take you, true believer, to the fourth planet, Corneria.

The evil Andross, maniacal scientist and evil genius, was turning all of Lylat into a wasteland of near-extinction. The only hope of Corneria, and really, the whole galaxy, lay in Star Fox, the best mercenary team money could buy.

Led by Fox McCloud, they made their way to the hangar bay to get into their respective "arwings", a spiked space fighter with two smooth, triangular wings and a black-tinted cockpit. Fast, sleek, and, with the right upgrades, powerful, these fighters were the horses upon which this cavalry would be riding.

And who made up this cavalry besides a fox and a toad? Why, a blue-feathered, red-eyed falcon with a vague Brookyln accent, and a cocky, prideful smirk and a grey-furred, getting-on-in-the-years hare with long, floppy ears and big buck teeth. Their names? Falco Lombardi and Peppy Hare.

Truth be told, returning to Corneria meant a return home. Slippy, Falco and Fox had been raised there and even gone to the same flight academy though Falco had dropped out after a personality conflict.

Though I am not sure, dear reader, how one gets into a personality conflict with a TRACTOR TRAILER.

...anyhow, they'd all been tempted to go into the army, but, well, the death of James McCloud at the hands of Andross and the betrayal of Pigma Dengar meant that Star Fox needed a new leader. Like father, like son, after all!

Quickly arriving at the hangar bay, one by one they all slipped into their respective fighters. Switches were flipped, levers pulled, the roar of engines rising in their respective ears as Fox pressed a button to the side of his targeting computer, a communication video screen popping up in his arwing cockpit, simultaneously appearing in his comrade's cockpits as well.

Standing in plain sight for them to see was General Cornelius Pepper, a hound dog sapient with a red outfit that came complete with a regal-looking military cap, several medals pinned to his chest for bravery in the face of combat, even one that looked just like a purple heart.

"It's about time you got here, Star Fox." General Pepper said in his slightly thick accent, new worry lines breaking out over his face. "I won't sugarcoat it...our army isn't doing enough. You're the only hope for our world."

Fox folded his arms and nodded firmly. "I'll do my best, general. Andross won't have his way with this world, OR with me and my team."

With that, he ended communications and the arwings took out of the hangar of their floating "home", the "Great Fox". Dropping down from the sky, they plunged through white clouds to make their way towards the green pastures of Corneria, now war-torn and ravaged as explosions echoed through the air.

"Open the wings." Fox ordered briskly, as all of their arwing's wings spread out slightly, getting into full flight mode. They weren't going through a deep space warp at the moment, they needed the agility that this would bring them. "And everyone, check your gravity-diffuser system!" Fox added.

"Falco here. I'm fine." Falco insisted, leaning back in his chair and making a dismissive gesture with his feathery hand.

"This is Peppy. All systems go!" Peppy told Fox, nodding over in Fox's direction.

"Slippy here. I'm okay." Slippy agreed, giving Fox a thumbs up and a big, silly smile.

"Good, cuz I see the enemy coming up ahead." Fox ordered as they headed towards the bay that led them to the Cornerian mainland. It wouldn't be more than a few minutes before they reached Corneria City.

Fox gripped the throttle of his arwing and a grin spread across his face...his father's grin. **"Let's rock and roll!" **He roared out, laughing slightly as everyone took off, racing through the skies over the bay, Corneria fast approaching.

The damage to the city was intense. Falco shook his head back and forth at the black-burnt buildings and earth, trees burning left and right as a shudder rocked his body. "This is...HORRIBLE." He growled as Slippy raced overhead, an enemy bogey on his tail, firing at him and, luckily, missing.

Fox was NOT going to let some no-name Andross fighter waste his friend. Luckily Andross's planes lacked proper defensive shielding. A few bursts of white-hot greenish-white plasma sent the enemy fighter falling down to crash and burn as they passed over a long stretch of road by some half-knocked-down buildings, a small fleet of ships deciding that Falco made for a FINE target.

And that's when things got a bit screwy. "Something's wrong with my g-diffuser!" Falco realized, his controls becoming screwy as he tried to steady his ship, the thing beginning to bob around, flailing almost uselessly in the air as Peppy fired off a round of plasma at a red-armored, triangular-headed mech that was launching cut-down trees in their direction.

The Cornerian Army, seeing Star Fox's presence, had regained their second wind and were swarming over the ground, tanks firing off at whatever enemy bogey they could see and any mech within reach, but Falco couldn't shake those annoying enemies off his tail. He angrily slammed his fist into the window as he felt his ship rock back and forth, plasma burning at his shields.

KRA-KOOOOM! Explosions. Not coming from his jets!

He grinned to himself as Fox quickly spun by him. "I guess I should be THANKFUL." He laughed through the communications system, giving Fox a thumbs up as they continued to fly through the skies of Corneria.

"AAAA!" Slippy yelled, another batch of enemy fighters on his tail. Fox sighed, shrugging slightly as he levied his lasers at them, Falco noticing something popping up on his radar. A very, very large energy signature...

That was right behind a waterfall? An expression of clear confusion split across Falco's avian features as his eyes narrowed slightly. That couldn't be possible unless-

"_I ain't gonna be in the Hot-Rodders forever, y'know." He told her as her feline features betrayed clear confusion. "I've got other things I wanna do with my life."He picked up a rock from off the ground, tossing it up and down in a single hand as he and Katt made their way across the long that laid over the enormous lake, the waterfall pouring it's contents in a continuous, foamy stream to their right._

_"Like what?" She asked, her expression becoming almost amused as they reached the end of the log. She put one hand on her hip, letting the other hang limply as she gave him a chuckling, mewling series of giggles_

_"Well, you want the truth..." He tossed the rock up and down a few more times, absentmindedly chucking the thing straight through the air. It went right through the waterfall, much to his interest, rather than being knocked off the wall he had assumed was behind it. "...hey, wanna check out what's behind there?" He asked, carefully making his way around the little beach on the lake to the part where it met the waterfall. _

_Well, they DID go through it, and what should they find but a beautiful cavern lined with mica that glittered all around them. Falco and Katt sat down together on a stumpy stalagmite, looking out at the waterfall._

_"One day I'm gonna get out of Zoness...head somewhere else. See the galaxy, y'know?" He told her.  
_

"_Sounds fun." Katt mewed, a clear look of interest dancing in her dark green eyes as she patted him on the back. _

_He wanted to tell her. _

_...why couldn't he tell her?_

Following his gut, Falco soared through the waterfall, splitting in half, and quickly relaying a message to Fox. "Follow me, Fox! I found the target, try to keep up!"

"Everyone follow Falco." Fox ordered quickly, activating a boost and swerving through the waterfall, finding himself following Falco towards a cove with many low-branching rock formations shaped like "u's". Sure enough though, he too now had an ENORMOUS energy signature appearing on his radar...

"Ahhhhhh." A low, smug voice echoed out from the communications system, a reptilian face appearing on Fox's vid-screen, wearing a red helmet that had a white "A" for "Andross" upon it's head. "Someone wants to PLAY."

"Incoming enemy from the rear! Drop altitude!" Peppy called out over the com-link system, eyes widening as he swerved downward with the others. Before their eyes it came, a bulky, enormous fighter carrier about a hundred times their size. A vaguely hexagonal-shaped, elongated center held up two square missile launchers each bigger than a redwood tree.

"Hold on, one minute, one minute..." Slippy insisted over their communications system, quickly typing in a series of commands to his ship's computer, fingers moving across the keyboard like greased lightning. In an instant, the necessary specs were being downloaded, and he grinned broadly. "Enemy shield analyzed!" He called out, sending the data to his fellow Star Fox flyers.

"Hey, what's that other thing attached to it?" Peppy murmured, squinting through the cockpit at what appeared to be something of a small square-like fighter hangar which was attached to the right side of his enemy ship.

"It appears to be something they use for-" Slippy began to say.

"DEPLOY ALL UNITS! CHAAAARGE!" The lizard sapient roared out as enemy fighters whizzed out of said hangar, soaring towards Star Fox.

"Oh, fuddy-duddy!" Slippy cried out, quickly spinning his ship away as Falco unleashed a torrent of plasma in the direction of the enemy fighters that were blasting away at him. Peppy did a quick barrel roll, dodging oncoming blaster fire from behind as Fox, luckily, had an opening shot for one of his bombs.

He flipped open a small cap atop his firing mechanism and pressed the red button. The SHINY red button. Instantly a small, red, sphere-like bomb shot out from his arwing and slammed into the enemy ship, right at the analyzed weak area that Slippy had caught...the hangar.

The lizard sapient cursed visibly as Fox followed this fine explosion up with a volley of plasma fire, forcing the general of Andross to use his missile launchers, which shot out small, rounded-end black death sticks in his direction. "Heh-heh-heh. I've got a PRESENT for ya!" He cackled, Fox narrowly dodging the oncoming assault, Slippy, luckily, managing to lead the fighters that had been on his tail right into it.

"WHAT THE?" The lizard snapped as Fox launched another bomb at it, Falco firing off some plasma shots at the hangar along with Slippy as Peppy, well, peppered the missile launcher with his own lasers.

"We've got him on the run now!" Fox called out, clenching his fist tightly, a grin stretching across his features as the enormous, now nearly-crippled ship quickly did a U-turn, trying to escape out to sea. Fox and his crew flew after him, peppering his ship with laser blasts in an attempt to bring him down.

"No, no, no! AAA!" Flame was rising up from the enormous ship as it began to descend from the sky at a rapid pace, crashing into the ocean, all systems failing. "Who ARE you guys?" The general screamed.

Fox folded his arms in front of his chest, smiling proudly. "We're **Starfox**."

The lizard sapient's last howl echoed over the communications channel as the ship finally collided with the water, exploding in an enormous dome of burning flame and light. _"You'll __**never**__ defeat Androooooooooossssss!" _

And with that...it was over. The general invading Corneria had been defeated, and his ground forces were swiftly falling to the Cornerian army. Fox leaned back in his chair, letting out a sigh of relief. "Alright! We're heading out. All aircraft, report!"

"You DID it!" Slippy cheered, punching the sky. "I was worried for a moment. Just a moment, really."

"You're becoming more and more like your father every day." Peppy said gently, smiling as he swore he saw a glimpse of James riding alongside Fox.

"I'm **fine**." Falco insisted proudly. "...you okay over there, Fox?"

"Yeah, I'm all good." Fox said. "It's time to get a move on. Let's head back to the Great Fox!"

With that, their arwings perked up and soared through the skies, heading towards their home amongst the blue...

...

...

...

... as Fox, Falco, Peppy and Slippy made their way back into the hangar of the Great Fox, their maintenance droid, the thick-jawed ROB64, stood by the doorway with a small holo-vid screen in his hands. Apparently there was a message for them.

"Sir...General Pepper has something of a problem. The outpost at Sector Y is under attack." ROB64 explained in his mechanical-toned voice.

"Well, let's get a quick bite to eat and meet him there." Fox decided, nodding at the others and letting them head off as he walked over to ROB64, looking left, then right, with a quick glance. "Who's doing the attack? Is it **them**?" He wanted to know.

"No, it isn't "them", sir." ROB64. "It's merely more of Andross's fleet."

Who was "they", I hear you cry? I shall take you to a sinister base, hidden far away in an asteroid belt known as the Sargasso Space Zone. Attached to a large meteor, a gleaming red and white star base twinkled softly, it's outer beauty disguising the evil within. What lies inside this star base true believer?

The mercenary team Star Wolf called this place "home". This was one of their many temporary base of operations, and the dark pirating team was dedicated to the cause of selling out their services to the highest bidder...usually not caring about whomever got in the way of their job. They were similar to Star Fox, perhaps, but only in team design. Be it their fighters, their paint jobs, their ideals, everything else was much, much different, and very, VERY evil.

They stood on deck, being spoken to by their benefactor, the ape sapient known as Andross, a gnarled, wrinkly old ape with reddish eyes and thick white hair. He was steepling his fingers as he addressed Star Wolf's leader, the grey-furred wolf sapient known as Wolf O'Donnell. He had grey fur with slightly spiky white hair atop his head, and a single eyepatch over his left eye, as black as the shirt he was wearing under his red and white vest. Wolf was fairly well-built, and had a bushy tail that was curling slightly, up and down, up and down, every time he spoke, as if privately amused by his own words.

"I can assure you sir, we're ready for them." Wolf told Andross, a faint British accent rising from his mouth, every syllable dripping with malevolence. "All of our Wolfen fighters are prepped for takeoff even now." He slammed his fist into his palm, smirking broadly up at his benefactor as he addressed the true desire he had. "I'll chase him round the rings of Titania and round the Meteo Asteroid Belt and round perdition's FLAMES before I give Fox McCloud up!"

"Do we even NEED that inane carrier for our Landmasters?" A chameleon sapient inquired, rubbing his considerably large chin with his three-fingered hand, golden eyes barely open. He appeared to be almost eternally BORED with the world from his odd expression...it was hard to tell if Leon Powalski was wake or asleep half the time. "Our Wolfens alone shall do the job."

The ape sapient next to him and Wolf however, was definitely awake, and definitely not bored. He seemed eager to get started, he was rubbing his hands together over and over, his skinny legs quaking with excitement. "I just can't wait to get started! Just wait, Uncle Andross. I'll show you what I can really do!"

"Yeah, yeah, I wanna get started too. Paycheck's on Friday, right?" A pig sapient asked, thick, rotund and, well, PORKY in appearance. He snorted slightly, wiping some snot from his considerably large snout as Andross grinned toothily at the tubby Pigma Dengar.

"Paychecks EVERY Friday." The ape explained.

The team all smiled broadly, none more so than Pigma. Watching all of his from a catwalk far above, Pikachu blinked a few times, his little paws clutching two small beams that held the catwalk's rail up.

"That's a KANSAI accent." He commented, blinking a few times. "I never thought I would see the day."

"That's nice and all, but we need to get out of here. Like, now." White whispered back at them. "Star Wolf are, to put it simply, very, very bad people who will cook us alive if they catch us."

"How come that Wolf fellow hates Mr. McCloud?" Yoshi wanted to know.

White blinked. "...I dunno, actually."

Why indeed.

_His first day at the Cornerian Flight Academy, and, ironically enough, who should he meet but another member of the Canidae species. Only instead of a wolf, it was a fox that now stared at him. _

_A fox for a roommate. _

_This was gonna suck. _

"_Who are you?" The fox asked as he unpacked a photograph of someone who was obviously his father, a fox with a pair of fine-looking shades. "I'm Fox. Fox McCloud."_

_His every breath seemed to radiate sickening self-confidence. _

_"Oh, I'm Fox McCLOUD." Wolf said, his voice imitating a very thick, surprisingly spot-on Scottish accent. "Are you "the one", McCloud?"_

_"Gee, never heard THAT before." Fox muttered hatefully, getting to work unpacking his clothes. "Why does "McCloud" have to be such a fun name to say...that movie's ruining my childhood."_

_"You have SQUANDERED your precious gift!" Wolf laughed, continuing the Scottish accent. _

_"...what's your name?"_

_"Wolf O'Donnell."_

_"You got a dad?" _

"_No. Orphan. Why?" _

"_My dad James is teaching here. He can make your life hell."_

"_..."_

_"So either you quit with those jokes of yours...or I tell him that the Big Bad Wolf is being MEAN to me." Fox said in a faux imitation of a "Little Red Riding Hood" voice._

_"...I am going to make you PAY for this. Somehow." Wolf promised. _

Wolf chewed his lip slowly, for a moment he was not there, but years in the past. And then...then he had returned to the present and was no longer a young orphan at the academy, but Wolf O'Donnell, lord of Star Wolf, master criminal. "We'll be heading over to Fichina as soon as possible." He informed Andross.

"One problem with the plan, uh...we don't have a ship." Yoshi admitted. "I mean, how we gonna get outta here without a ship?"

"Simple." White said. "We'll, ah, "borrow" that carrier ship they mentioned."

"Quick, everyone down, they're finishing up their conversation." Alex whispered swiftly, all of them ducking to the floor of the catwalk as Star Wolf made their way out of the main hall and straight to the hangar for their ships. "We'd best wait until after they've left. Then it'll be safe to take the carrier."

"I'm just glad they don't have any kind of staff on hand-" Samus admitted.

There was a large, grinding, scratching sound that ripped through the air and they all stood up, trying to plug their hands over their ears. Turning their heads, they saw Wolf O'Donnell had taken off his gloves and was dragging claws against the wall...

He was now standing on the catwalk. With them.

And he looked very, very angry.

"It seems some RATS have snuck into my base." He growled. "I thought my base was vermin-proof."

"You get goin'. I'll take care of THIS."Yoshi said, the green, big-nosed dinosaur getting into a fighting stance, growling slightly as he did so.

"Nah, you're gonna die. A LOT." White wisecracked as Samus led the others off the catwalk leaving Yoshi to deal with Wolf.

"You ready for me? I won't letcha hurt my friends." Yoshi insisted.

"You don't stand a chance against me. I fly with a lizard, I know your kind's weaknesses." Wolf said, leaping through the air in a spiraling fashion, knocking Yoshi back a few feet.

"But can lizards do THIS?" Yoshi laughed, promptly sticking his immensely-long, red, bulbous tongue out, sticking to Wolf's chest.

"What in the-?" Light pressure from Yoshi's teeth sunk up under Wolf's chin and at the top of his head, his tongue working overtime, slurping drool all over Wolf's head to get me the sapient lubricated as possible. A second later Yoshi pulled Wolf in a bit further, jaws walking up around his head, then his neck, lifting Wolf in the air, the esophagus widened, pulled, and contracted...

An instant later, Wolf was in Yoshi's secondary stomach, and then, a few moments LATER...

"Where IS he?" Alex wondered, tapping his clawed paws against the side of the bulky, dark red tank carrier that Star Fox used, the others waiting inside for Yoshi to hurry up. It wasn't long before, sure enough, Yoshi appeared...with an egg. A grey-spotted white egg.

"...is that who I think it is?" Alex asked, hearing furious swearing from inside the egg. "Does that mean you're...you know..."

"Well, all my kind can do this." Yoshi said, shrugging and putting the egg down. "What do you mean by "you know"?"

"...nevermind." Alex sighed, putting a clawed hand on his face as Yoshi headed inside the carrier. "Samus is starting the ship up, everyone put your seatbelt on." He smiled to himself as he scurried over to the control office in the hangar and quickly working on activating the hangar bay doors, Wolf struggling to break out of the egg, his yells becoming louder as Alex tried to figure out the controls to said hangar door.

"Oh dear." He muttered. None of the Star Wolf team had bothered to label anything on the controls. He decided, what the hell, he'd just pull the nearest one.

_**Well you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man...no time to talk!**_A disco ball lowered from the office as the lights quickly shot off, rays of sparkling goodness shooting everywhere. Tempting as it was to boogie down, Alex pulled on ANOTHER switch, Wolf now bouncing his eggy form over in the direction of the music.

The lights to the hangar now turned off. Darn it. Which one of these levers WAS it? He tried another one, a big yellow-gold one.

FWOOOOOSH. The sprinkler system activated and Wolf's egg slipped on the ground, promptly cracking, sending him sprawling across the floor. He glared up at Alex through the office's lone window, gloved hands digging through the steely floor, a baleful growl emerging from his throat.

"Oh, this should do it." Alex remarked, seeing a switch labeled "Hangar Bay Doors" that had been obstructed by a box of, disgustingly enough, pork rinds. He flipped it, the hangar bay doors opening up as Wolf gaped, seeing Alex bound past him and hop into the tank carrier, cheekily waving goodbye as they headed out the hangar bay and into the great unknown.

"The old Klingon proverb states that revenge is a dish best served COLD." Wolf whispered as he stood up, the oxygen shield in the hangar keeping all the air from shooting out into space. He glared past the greenish shield, clenching his fist tighter and tighter, each syllable becoming drenched with a desire for vengeance over the lost of his carrier...five million dollars a tank.

FIVE MILLION A TANK.

"There is nothing...colder...than the darkness of space." Wolf snarled. "I will hunt you ALL down!" He roared, beating his chest furiously.

...

...

...

... "Here we are, everyone." Fox informed the rest of Star Fox, leaning back in his chair as he glanced through the cockpit around Sector Y. Why "Sector Y"? Well, part of a trio of nebula that appear in the shape of a letter, itself formed in the shape of a giant Y of pulsing greenish-yellow. The nebula was an almost beautiful sight, true, but the ugly presence of enemy battleships far in the distance killed the mood.

"General Pepper's squadron needs us. Let's back 'em up!"

Armored mechs in the vague shape of knights carrying shields and plasma blasters rode forward in small squads, the "Shogun Knights" seeking to level the Cornerian fleet and destroy the pesky Star Fox team.

"SOMEBODY'S gonna pay for all of this." Falco growled as he activated a bomb, a large explosion illuminating his smirk as he saw several of the mechs get ripped to shreds.

"Everyone stick together and don't let ANY of them through!" Peppy insisted. "And remember, keep an eye on your systems!" The hare added. "Radiation storms and fluctuating magnetic waves make travel through this sector dangerous, as the ionized space dust causes equipment malfunction or failure in most ships!"

"Not OURS though. Ha-ha-ha!" Fox laughed as he did a barrel roll, deflecting oncoming enemy fire.

"Yecccch." Slippy groaned as they made their way past the Cornerian squadron, towards Andross's fleet. "Look at the ships."

True enough, the enormous spaceships, long, H-shaped and made of dark, reddish metal all had one very, very tacky addition to them: Andross's ugly mug was placed upon the front of each bulkhead. With great aplomb, Slippy began blasting away at one such spaceship, in seconds the face now looked like it had been beaten up by a giant, floating Mike Tyson.

"I think Andross would look GOOD without any TEETH." Falco said with a grin.

It was then that a voice quickly crackled over the communications system. "Ha-ha-ha-ha! Well, well, what do we have here?" A face soon popped up to be attached to that voice as stubby arms were placed together and aquamarine eyes sparkled on the com-system's "HUB" display. "Well. Star Fox. This IS an honor."

"Who're you?" Fox wanted to know as the enemy fleet began to recede slightly to allow a certain particular ship to come forth, holding a silvery mech that was five times the size of the others. The Shogun itself, apparently.

"The name, dear Fox McCLOOOOUD...is JIGGLYPUFF." Jigglypuff laughed. "Esteemed member of the Evil Genius Organization, brains, beauty..."

"Pink balloon." Falco sniggered.

"You're gonna get Kentucky FRIED for that, bird brain." Jigglypuff snapped angrily. "Let's see how you like dealing with the mighty Shogun mech I personally designed!"

"We beat all your other mechs, we can beat this too." Fox said firmly.

"Don't party just **yet**." Jigglypuff laughed. "Because I consider myself a "hands-on" evil genius..."

At that moment a pink, capsule-shaped fighter launched itself through the stars, sending plasma fire in their direction, forcing Star Fox to scatter as Jigglypuff's sinister giggle echoed through the communications systems.

"I am going to HATE that laugh." Fox decided, getting a bomb at the ready as he dodged a sudden hail of blaster fire from the Shogun mech.

"Oh, I always HATED that laugh." Nick's voice echoed out from White's mouth as the carrier ship approached Sector Y.

"You KNOW that creepy girl?" Samus inquired, sounding amused.

"...unfortunately." White sighed, Nick's voice still lingering on. "And Fox is going to need all the help he can get! Jigglypuff isn't one to mess with."


	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER TWENTY**

_My adventures in the Pokémon world had been lies. I had been used. USED by a monstrous "God" that wanted to take advantage of the potential I'd had, potential shared with other innocent children. _

_The memories weren't real._

_But...but the heart behind them was. The feelings I had for those Pokémon, they WERE real. They felt right. _

_And there was one Pokémon I'd met that I'd had a specific feeling for._

_Incredible annoyance. _

_Her name had been Jigglypuff. She was the thorn in my side, the rainy day to my parade. The-_

"_To protect the world from devastation! To unite all peoples within my nation!"_

_"Oh PLEASE, not THIS again." Nick muttered as he held his head in one hand, sighing deeply as his friends stood by his side."Come on, it's been a long day."_

_Jigglypuff was slowly being raised up into the air by the enormous mechanical armored beast that was her new "pet project", held in it's palm as she held her own little "fist" up high in a triumphant pose. "To denounce the evils of truth and love! To extend my reach to the stars above!" _

"_I give her points for persistence." Mewtwo mused as the armored mechanical beast raised Jigglypuff to its' "head" region and deposited her into a cockpit, getting into a fighting stance and pulling a sword and shield off of it's enormously thick legs. _

"_I give her points for actually HAVIN' background music for her little proclamation. It ain't half bad." Pidgeot admitted, nodding her head and pointing at the speakers embedded in the "chin" region of the mech._

"_JIGGLY!-PUFF!" Jigglypuff roared out, striking two "I'm superbuff" poses before pointing triumphantly into the air. "HAS THE STUFF! And I'm takin' off at the speed of light, so surrender now, or prepare to FIGHT!" _

"_It's gonna be a long night." Nick sighed as he took out a small notepad from his backpack. "Let's go through the checklist. Shock-proof?"_

_"Yep!" Jigglypuff laughed._

_"Waterproof."_

_"Uh-huh."_

_"Fire-proof?"_

_"Definitely."_

_"Phasing shields to prevent teleportation inside by our favorite psychic?"_

_"Totally."_

_"Bathroom?"_

_Jigglypuff's face fell visibly through the cockpit. "...ohcrap." _

"For an "evil genius", Jigglypuff always was pretty darn stupid." Nick's voice finished up as they maneuvered the carrier ship away from a torrent of lasers the Shogun Mech was launching in their direction. Which meant poor Star Fox was left to contend with Jigglypuff's hysterical evil giggling. "We always found some convenient yet simultaneously silly way to defeat her."

"Well, right now, we're dealing with a considerably more problematic foe than a pink balloon with a megalomaniacal streak." Samus said as the Shogun Mech's pilot angrily cursed, coming under fire from THEIR ship.

"COCKY LITTLE FREAKS!" He yelled out as he was struck in the back, losing his enormous diamond-shaped shield. It floated off through space, leaving him open to their assault as they blasted away over and over, forcing him back to the enormous ship from which he'd launched.

Meanwhile, Jigglypuff was happily shooting away at Fox and his team. "You would not BELIEVE the technology that the lovely Dr. Andross has been giving me and my organization. He's so helpful. So we figured it was only fair to pay him back somehow and do some PEST CONTROL."

"You're goin' down, puffball!" Falco roared out over his communications systems, flipping the necessary switch on his controls to launch a bomb. It soared through space, racing straight at Jigglypuff, who narrowly dodged it in time, getting blown around by the shockwave the bomb produced and sending her ship spiraling. It also made her let out a high-pitched, girly squeal that secretly delighted Falco, bringing a smile to his beak.

"Hey! "Puffball" is a derogatory term for my kind, ya freakin' RACIST." Kirby yelled out as he took control of the communications channel in the carrier ship as White slapped his face, groaning.

"Is that a HUMAN I see behind you?" Falco commented, an annoyed, slightly angry glint entering his eyes as he gazed at White, who put one hand on his hip, giving the avian sapient a dismissive look.

"I'm not human, but why should it matter, birdbrain?" He asked.

"Come over here to the Great Fox and then say that to my face, ya pink-eyed freak." Falco snapped.

BUDDA-BUDDA-BUDDA! A barrage of lasers from an irritated-she-was-being-ignored Jigglypuff made him get refocused, and he was forced to veer off in an attempt to escape, White laughing at the sudden look of pants-pissing-fear that momentarily flashed across his features.

"Hey! Leave! Him! ALONE!" Slippy yelled, leveling HIS lasers at Jigglypuff's ship. Unfortunately, Jigglypuff wasn't as stupid as that, she quickly did a somersault, making Slippy's ship pound FALCO instead...

And then Slippy found HERSELF under fire as Jigglypuff's somersault deposited her squarely behind the poor little frog.

"Hey, what's the big idea!" Falco yelled over the communications systems as Slippy was blasted at by a giggling Jigglypuff.

"AAAA! FOX! Get this guy off me!" Slippy howled in terror.

"I...I don't have a clear shot." Fox mumbled nervously as he tried to level his lasers at Jigglypuff's ship. If he wasn't careful, he'd hit Slippy, and Slippy's ship wasn't in the best of condition at the moment...

"Fox, your father told me this and I'm telling it to you now. Never give up!" Peppy insisted, clenching his fist tightly and holding it to his chest as Fox's paw digit nervously lingered over the firing mechanism. **"Trust your instincts."**

"Yeah, your INSTINCTS will save your friend from getting turned into fricassee!" Jigglypuff cackled as Fox glowered furiously. Oh, she wanted to play it that way, huh?

He quickly flipped a lever in the cockpit, taking a deep breath and clenching his paw digit tightly around his throttle.

"Sir...you have turned off your targeting computer. Is something wrong?" ROB64 wished to know, momentarily appearing on the communications channel as Fox reached for the boost, the three ships now passing close to the Shogun Mech that Samus was continuously assaulting.

"No. No, everything's just FINE." Fox said with a grin, pressing the big, red "Boost" button, sending his ship through space, SLAMMING into a surprised Jigglypuff and sending her spiraling away.

Right into the shogun mech.

"AAAAAAA!" The pilot of the shogun mech yelled as Jigglypuff slammed his "head" clean off, making him spiral through the inky blackness of space before finally the whole thing exploded in a fine burning-white blast, Jigglypuff struggling to get her ship out of the wrecked remains of the shogun.

"This isn't over! I'll just order the ship to send out more mechs to fight you off!" Jigglypuff yelled over the communications channel as Alex now smiled coldly at her, White heading for the "underside" controls of the carrier.

"What you're forgetting...is that our ship...IS CARRYING **TANKS**."

THA-THWOOMP!

The bottom of the carrier ship opened, and like napalm falling out of a plane, an ENORMOUS Landmaster tank came CRASHING down through space, right out of the hangar they'd been lying in and smashing clear through the ship Jigglypuff and the destroyed Shogun Mech had been on. The ship was broken in half and fell, spiraling down, down, Jigglypuff letting out a furious yell of denial and rage as she and the ship became nothing more than a far-off speck in the distance.

"Not bad. Not bad at all!" Fox howled happily, punching the air in his cockpit. "Well, let's head over to the Great Fox. All aircraft, report!"

"See my ship? Does it LOOK okay to you?" Falco muttered angrily.

"I'll be alright." Peppy insisted. "And it seems your skills have improved, Fox!"

"Yeah, there you go!" Slippy agreed. "And I need a few repairs, but I think I'll be alright."

"We owe you real thanks." Fox said to the helmeted Samus. "Come onto the Great Fox and let's meet face to face!"

"Sure thing." Samus told him, nodding her head as she maneuvered the carrier ship to head towards the slow-moving white battleship, Star Fox's arwings entering the hangar bay doors one at a time.

...

...

...

... "DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU!" Jigglypuff howled angrily, banging her tiny little stubby hands into the cockpit of her ship. It had taken about an hour for her to finally get it free of the wreckage, but now at least she was back in space and had returned to Sector Y, only to find that one, General Pepper's forces had retaken the area, two, they were very mad, and three, they had ion lasers.

Which meant her engines were now disabled and she was being take captive as a prisoner of war. In a matter of minutes she was going to be thrown into the brig and then they'd throw away the key.

Unless...she thought up something. Quick.

Putting her evil genius mind into high gear, Jigglypuff began to craft an insidious plan and began rubbing her little hands together, cackling evilly. Yes, yes, this could work. She had to play her cards in juuuuust the right way, but it could work.

Her ship was now being boarded by red-suit-wearing canine soldiers, one of whom wheeled the chair around, demanding that she get out and come with them.

They instantly came face to face with a cutesy, teary-eyed little pink girl who was weeping and blowing a Kleenex into her "nose". She saw the two guards and clung to the nearest one's leg, sobbing out a mumbled story about how "AWFUL" the experiments Andross had done to her had been, and how she was SO glad to see a friendly face.

Well, what else could they do? They decided to take her with them to General Pepper, to the Great Fox, not seeing the smirking, triumphant gleam in her eyes.

But, I hear you cry, what happened on the Great Fox after our protagonists finally met with Fox McCloud and his team?

"Thanks once again for your help." Fox said, shaking White's hand. There was something...oddly natural about this white-haired being. He did kind of look human, but there was a strange miasma to him that made him...not. It was hard to put into words just WHAT Fox felt that White was in terms of species, but at least the others looked like sapients...for the most part.

It was a good thing that Star Fox wasn't questioning just where exactly they were from, Pikachu thought to himself as he took Peppy's hand and shook it, bowing deeply before the old hare. "It was our honor to assist." He insisted. "Though I confess, Jiggypuff is something of a personal foe of mine. She was always trying to get to me."

"Why is that?" Peppy inquired.

"I THINK she was rather infatuated with me." The yellow electric rat admitted, rubbing his chin. "I would be flattered if she wasn't so completely-"

"Star Fox, you did great work here." General Pepper informed the Star Fox team as he and his private guards descended a flight of stairs down to the main level of the entrance hall in the Great Fox's hangar bay. "Regrettably, there is no real time to relax." The old dog added, shaking his head back and forth. "I need you to recover our base on Fichina from Andross's forces."

"ROB, get the Great Fox moving." Fox ordered their robot as he turned to look back at Yoshi, Samus, Pikachu, Alex and White. "How about I show you around the ship? A little tour?"

"I don't think we should let the human see everything." Falco added, folding his arms and shaking his head back and forth.

"What's wrong with humans?" Samus inquired, tilting her head to the side slightly, a momentary angry tone coming into her voice.

"It's well known that human saboteurs were responsible for-" Falco began to mutter before Peppy wisely pulled him off to the side.

"__'_sgo_!" Peppy quickly managed to get out as he and Falco vanished into a hallway, Slippy nervously smiling at White, who raised a single eyebrow up. _Riiiiiight_.

The tour of the Great Fox was, thus, marred by that last, vaguely discomforting comment. All throughout Fox's explanations of the equipment, his discussion of the various technology they used, all they could think of was-

"Why the human hate?"

"It's kind of a...complicated story." Fox sighed as he led them through the mess hall, ROB64 bringing a tray of various sandwiches over for them to enjoy, General Pepper being called off because "he needed to see her".

Who was "her"? No clue. But they'd find out soon enough.

"Complicated? Try me."

"Well...it goes back to our days in the Cornernian Flight Academy."

"_Sir, sir!"_

_Fox looked out the window of his dorm room, frowning angrily as his roommates listened in as well. It was hard NOT to hear the annoying butt-faced idiot. For one, his voice was loud. VERY LOUD._

_And two...he was speaking into a microphone. _

_President Qwark could not get enough attention. He had a distinct style of leaning close to the camera in every photograph, as if eager to appear as big as possible, with an overly toothy smile, a very chiseled body, and, as aforementioned,_

_A LOUD, __**LOUD**__ voice._

"_President Qwark, sir!" The crowd of reporters wished to know as they stood in the main recreation fields of the Cornerian Flight Academy, cameras snapping photos, microphones held high. "Do you have anything to say about the fifty million dollar lawsuit against the Cornerian Flight Academy?" _

_"That I do, my boy. Most definitely!" Qwark said, brushing the antenna atop his green-suited head "I've been in consultation with young Mr. Keene's parents, and after reviewing the boy's injuries, I've determined that it's far more appropriate for the academy to hand over a HUNDRED million dollars!"_

_"A HUNDRED, sir?"_

_"Yes, young Kevin will be making a public statement tomorrow morning to the public on the courthouse steps to this very effect."_

"_If that fat-headed musclebound CREEP thinks that Kevin is going to say that our species has been keeping him here and brainwashing him to break multiverse law, he's out of his mind." Fox insisted as Falco and Wolf looked over at him, then at each other. _

"_That "fat-headed musclebound creep" paid all of Kevin's medical bills after that crash into the statue out front. And you know that he's pretty much cut off from home...he couldn't turn to his PARENTS for help." Falco admitted. "I don't LIKE to admit it, but it seems like he's going to side with Mr. Creep."_

_"Qwark just doesn't like sapients." Wolf muttered hatefully. "He just wants to seize this academy and make it into a hall of fame for himself, most likely. He'd probably send us all into gas chambers if he had the chance." The grey-furred wolf then angrily kicked his bed, making it rock back and forth for a few moments before he clenched his fists so tightly he almost drew blood._

_"Kevin wouldn't do this." Fox insisted. "He won't do it."_

_"I dunno. He's got no family here, he's been talking to us less and less...I mean, he used to call up those guys all the time, remember? But when's the last time he wrote a letter to Bob? Or made a call to the princesses? He's a broke college kid with no job and if he doesn't take this compensation claim, then...well..." Falco sighed and shrugged."He'll be out on the street in a month."_

"_...he's Captain F—kin' SNES. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't. He WOULDN'T."_

_Falco, however, decided not to stick around. He quit the academy. He hadn't been doing so well grade-wise anyhow, and didn't want to go down "in a sinking ship". _

_And Wolf? _

_Well..._

"What's Wolf got to do with it?" White asked as an alarm rang out through the base, alerting Star Fox that they'd finally arrived at Fichina.

"Well, see...look, we'll talk about it later. We've gotta get out there." Fox said as they made their way to the hangar. "If we need your help, we'll radio you on the communications channel, okay?"

"As it turns out, I shall need their help with something else. I'd like you to interrogate our new prisoner." General Pepper addressed White and the others as a certain puffball was paraded out, nervously tugging at the tuft of hair she had, smiling sheepishly at them.

"...Jigglypuff. You survived." Pikachu commented. He let out a long, deep sigh as Yoshi turned down to look at him.

"Should we just throw her in the brig?"

"No, no, maybe we can get some information out of her." Samus insisted.

"I'm loathe to...beat up a girl. Especially one like...this." Alex admitted as he looked Jigglypuff over. True, he didn't usually have a problem with being the "bad cop", but beating up someone who looked like they'd burst if you stuck a needle in them wouldn't give the Briton warm and fuzzy feelings.

"I'll tell you everything. I've been with them for so long I started to lose sight of what was really important." Jigglypuff admitted.

"Them?" White asked, arms folded, his "Bullshit alarm" ringing in his head. He could sense a lie approaching. A BIG one.

"E.G.O, the Evil Genius-"

"WHAT?" Alex yelled, eyes widening. "THEM?" He quickly rushed forward, grabbing Jigglypuff and growling in her face, showing off razor-sharp fangs. "SPILL. I want you to tell us EVERYTHING."

"Alright, alright!" Jigglypuff whimpered. "I wanna tell you, but-but if I say too much, they'll...they'll kill me!"

And with that, she burst into tears, hugging Alex tightly to her body and sobbing into her shoulder. "Please, I...I'm not brave, I'm just trying not to get blown up, and they were just the best choice for me...please, please help me...I'll try being good, just please, PLEASE promise you'll protect me!"

Alex gaped slightly, just standing there as the others looked on at one of the strangest things they'd ever seen. But, finally, Alex sighed and patted Jigglypuff on the back. "Alright, alright. We'll protect you from E.G.O. But you need to tell us how the Evil Genius Organization is involved."

Jigglypuff let go of Alex and beamed happily as she headed over to a seat and plopped down. "Well, stupid ol' Eggman thinks that he's the only villain from the "Game" realms that ever contacted the "Cartoon" realms! But he's wrong: E.G.O beat him to it years ago, and I was one of the first villains of the "Game Realm" to be inducted in! I got a neat little membership card, a fifteen percent discount off at select stores, a communicator that doubles as a ribbon AND..."

She grinned proudly. "I got extra discounts for every villain I introduced into the organization. When I met with Andross and told him that there was a place where he could get funding for his experiments to perform on Venom that wouldn't catch the attention of President Qwark, he JUMPED at the chance to join. So in exchange for me getting a fifty-percent Discount to my favorite apparel stores, Andross got in on E.G.O, got the chance to turn Venom into an MS Escher painting..."

"And why didn't President Qwark interfere?" General Pepper demanded to know, growling angrily.

"Oh." Jigglypuff blinked stupidly and put a small, stubby hand to her mouth. "Well, Qwark was kept out of this galaxy by another friend of mine who instigated trouble in the Solaris Galaxy to keep him busy. He's been out of Lylat for so long he's probably forgotten all about you. Let's face it, Qwark's not that smart."

General Pepper raised a gloved finger up as if to make a dramatic point, but then hung his head and let out a long, deep, pained sigh.

"Careful, those'll hurt your back. I know from personal experience." White sniggered.

"Well, at least we know how Andross got the funding to build this invasion that he's been waging on your galaxy. That's something." Yoshi admitted. "I don't suppose you'd tell us where Andross is right now?"

"Oh, Venom, of course." Jigglypuff said nonchalantly. "But more than likely, he's expecting you guys. I mean, he DID hire Star Wolf to take care of Fox and friends, blocking their way through Lylat."

"...is there ANOTHER way to reach Venom than the path we're on right now?" Samus suddenly asked, an idea coming to her head.

"Why, yes. If you take the Katina route and go past Solar, you'll end up near Macbeth, and from there it's clear sailing to Planet Venom." General Pepper informed them, rubbing his considerably furry chin.

"Then that's the direction WE need to go." Samus reasoned.

"But what about Fox and the others?" Jigglypuff asked calmly. "You're REALLY just going to leave them to Star Wolf?"

"...we really shouldn't." Pikachu said quietly.

...

...

...

...Fox's mouth became a taut line as he, Peppy, Slippy and Falco flew through the skies of the icy Fichina. The entire place was an arctic wasteland, a frozen tundra with iced-over mountains and snowy hills, several scattered satellite relays situated around the enormous yellow-armored military base. Everyone inside this base had been, luckily, smart enough to hightail it out of there.

Why?

"A bomb has been planted in the base." ROB64 informed the Star Fox team as Fox's already taut lips curled into something of a furious growl. As if the leftover Andross fighter planes buzzing around weren't annoying enough.

"JEEZ." He muttered, ducking down and avoiding a shot from a fighter, quickly doing a u-turn to blast the thing out of the sky. "Can anyone take care of it?" He called out over the communications channel...

Silence for a few moments...

And then the communications channel suddenly burst to life as an all-too familiar and cold-hearted voice rang out.

"Can't let you do that, Star Fox!" Wolf O'Donnel said with a chuckle as he and Star Wolf's Wolfen fighters soared down through the clouds to level off and split up, each member taking aim at a different member of Star Fox.

"Andross has ordered us to take you down." Leon said calmly.

"Peppyyyyy!" Pigma chuckled, the enormous folds of fat on his body rippling with every chuckle. "Long time no see!"

"Andross's enemy is MY enemy." Andrew insisted proudly, slamming his fist into his palm.

"JUST what I needed to see...Star Wolf." Fox mumbled. "Let's take care of THESE guys first!" He called out to his teammates, doing a quick turn t avoid Wolf's laser fire, angrily cursing under his breath as the wolf sapient unloaded onto his ship voer and over.

"AHHH!" Slippy screamed as Andrew levied a potent load of plasma in his direction. "Fox, get this guy off me!"

"Stick to the POND, froggy." Andrew chuckled coldly as he fired over and over upon the unfortunate toad, the reverberating roar of engines echoing over the icy plains of Fichina.

"I'll do you fast, Peppy ol' pal!" Pigma promised as he leveled his lasers at Peppy's ship, the hare trying to escape from being targeted.

"I DON'T HAVE **TIME** FOR THIS!" Fox roared out, quickly doing a somersault, Wolf shooting underneath his ship as Fox saw the sapient's one remaining good eye bulge out in surprise.

"What the heck?"

Unfortunately for him, because he was so busy staring at Fox he didn't see himself coming right into the path of Pigma's ship. To his credit, he didn't crash into Peppy. To his credit, he tried to turn.

Unfortunately, he didn't turn fast enough, and Pigma and Wolf's ships bounced off each other, Pigma's ship getting the worst of it, smoke rising from a wing. "GAH! Oh no!"

"We're not finished yet." Fox growled, firing off a round of plasma from his ship's lasers, tearing through Pigma's Wolfen fighter, sending the fat mercenary plummeting to the ground.

"My beautiful reward! **ARRRRGGGGHHH**!" Pigma wailed as he ejected from his ship, flying up into the air on a small parachute that was quickly cut in half by Peppy, the mercenary smacking into the cold, hard snowy ground of Fichina, hitting it face first and left lying there in his shame.

"You're not as tough as I thought..." Leon mused as he aimed his laser cannons at HIS foe, poor Falco.

"SHOOT!" Falco muttered angrily as Leon's Wolfen fighter zipped through the air after his, the two dancing around like birds fighting over a piece of crust on the ground. "He's right behind me! Let's see how you like it when I'm doin' it to YOU." The Brooklyn-accented bird said with a sneer, doing a quick brake, Leon's fighter shooting past him, putting him right in Falco's scopes.

BRAKKA-BRAKKA-BRAKKA! A torrent of plasma fire riddled Leon's hull. "Annoying bird!"Leon hissed. "I am the great Leon!"

BRACKA-BOOOOOM! The "Great Leon" was promptly blown through the air by a well-aimed bomb attack from Fox. "This can't be happening!" He howled as he ejected out into Fichina, landing on a satellite relay and clinging to it like the lizard he was. "...it's FRICKIN' COLD out here!" He howled, realizing he was now STUCK to the icy-cold satellite.

"Really, he should have given the "where will I land" thing more thought." Fox mused to himself as Slippy's arwing fighter whizzed by, Andrew on his tail. A few moments later though, Fox was on HIS tail.

"I'm not scared of YOU!" Andrew cried out defiantly.

Falco smirked to himself and began counting off silently in his cockpit, mouthing the words "Three, two, one"...

KRUDDA-KROOOOM!

"UNCLE ANDROOOOSSSSSS!" Andrew howled, his parachuted form plummeting into a snowy bank, making a very distinct and colorfully dynamic-looking imprint as he got buried deep within.

"Awww, look! I made a "Snow Andrew"!" Fox wisecracked.

Unfortunately a hail of heavy plasma fire riddled his arwing and he let out an angry and surprised yell, realizing half his shield stability was gone, and Wolf was right on his heels, snapping away and smiling coldly.

"You'll be seeing your dad soon, Fox..." The sapient said in a saccharine-sweet tone of mocking concern, readying his Wolfen fighter to fire a bomb straight off in Fox's direction and wipe him out just like James had-

**TANK.**

"I...can't...LOOOOOOSE!" Wolf howled as he crawled out from the wreckage of his wolfen, crushed under his own landmaster.

"WOO! You just got TANKED." Samus laughed, letting out a loud, wild war whoop, thrusting a triumphant fist up in the air as the others looked at her, mouths agape, blinking stupidly. She turned back to them, recomposing herself and shrugging. "You have to admit, it's...pretty addictive."

"You know, we're runnin' out of heavy machinery to drop on people." Alex admitted, shaking his head back and forth as they raised the carrier ship far up into the sky, heading back to the Great Fox. "We'll have to get some more eventually."

Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth and to just accept the fact that his rival had had one and a half tons of destructive firing power dropped on him, Fox turned his attention back towards the base. "I'll take care of the bomb now." He informed the others. "Then we head out!"

As he flew into the base, he sighed to himself, momentarily closing his eyes, shaking his head back and forth.

Wolf...

"_I CAN'T BELIEVE HIM!" Wolf screamed furiously, slamming his fist into the wall of the room as Fox stood nearby, hurt clearly seen in his eyes. "To think he's going to...I mean it! I'm gonna KILL him!" _

_"Wolf, come on, just let it go." Fox insisted. "My dad's going to talk to him-"_

_"No. NO!" Wolf snapped, turning on Fox. "I don't give two s—ts about your opinion, Fox." Wolf snarled, pointing a claw right in Fox's face, eyes narrowed to near slits, body tense and trembling with fury as he turned around, stuffing all of his things into his trunk. "I'm doing what I should have done ages ago. I knew, I KNEW when I saw him he was out of his mind."_

_"This isn't going to solve anything. It'll just make things worse." Fox told him angrily, grabbing Wolf's shoulder. "You'll just get in trouble and-"_

_A punch to the jaw knocked Fox to the ground as Wolf glared down at him. "Don't...you...touch me. You want to stay in this academy? Fine. Be daddy's golden boy. I want justice." _

_With that, he stormed out of the room, taking his things with him. Target: Alexander Williams. _

_Fox would never see Wolf for several years. And by then, he had changed. He'd even lost an eye. But he could definitely say it was that moment, that glaring, baleful rage that had been coming off of Wolf in thick waves...that had been the moment when Wolf had decided that the system would always fail him, and screw over his kind. That had been the moment he'd "switched". _

_Ironically, he had been "vindicated", because during the fight with Alex, which had been caught on cell phone video cameras, it had become clear that Alex was out of his gourd...utterly insane. _

_James McCloud did something that day that Wolf could never forgive._

_...he saved his life. _


	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE**

"Just look at all of these spells..." Erin mused to herself as she and Zelda sorted through the many tomes in the enormous library of the Goddess Nayru. The goddess had been quite intrigued by Erin's request and also VERY intrigued at the prospect of meeting with an alien being. She kept looking at the Arosean like a bug in a jar, making little notes on a notepad with a large feather quill. "Hmm. OH."

Erin nervously blushed upon reading the subject matter of one of the books and quickly shoved it back in, stuttering slightly as she did so. "I-I think we'd-we'd best move on to another bookshelf, this is the "Restricted" section."

Understanding what Erin was implying, Zelda blinked a few times before making a momentary "Hmm" noise, moving over to the next bookcase. As they began searching through THOSE spellbooks, Erin found herself asking a very simple question.

"Were you in love?" She asked Zelda.

"...I think we were." Zelda admitted, a light blush coming to her cheeks. "...very, very much."

"Awwww, giiiiirl, he's QUITE the catch." Erin laughed, putting one hand on Zelda's shoulder and patting it in a comforting manner, a big smile spreading across her face. "If I wasn't taken, I'd be tempted, believe me. Blondes have more fun, after all."

"Have more...fun?" Zelda blinked in confusion.

Erin then leaned in close, whispering in Zelda's pointed ear. "Can I ask you something...personal?"

"...go ahead."

"Did you two ever...um...and..." The red head nervously rubbed her hands together, struggling to find the right words to express what she was trying to get across without being TOO illicit. "And was it...was it **good**?"

"Oh. You mean intercourse. And that's not really the kind of a lady tells about." Zelda insisted, holding a white-gloved hand up. "But I assure you, in all aspects, Link has always behaved as an utter gentleman to me in everything."

"So the sex is really very vanilla." Erin asked.

Zelda shrugged with her shoulders before glaring furiously over at Erin. "Yes, it-HEY!"

"_Oh Lord, what fools these mortals be." _Nayru thought to herself with a small smile spreading across her face as Zelda gave Erin a slightly annoyed slap on the shoulder, the goddess sniggering. "Look, try checking in THIS book." She announced, striding over to the bookcase nearest her and pulling out a large leather-bound tome with a symbol that appeared to be a flame split down the middle. She handed it to Erin and Zelda, who glanced through it, then blinked stupidly.

Wait. Why had she picked THAT one? That book, that had been the same one that had-

"Oh, here it is." Erin said cheerily. "...hmm. A "Kris Knife"...what's that?"

"It can cut through a soul like tissue paper." Nayru commented, wagging a finger in the air. "I happen to have one in my bedroom, as a matter of fact. It's one of my most prized possessions."

"Can I ask YOU something?" Erin asked. "You Goddesses, um...you can...like...with anyone, right?"

"Yes." Nayru said. "I surmise you'd like to know about the MECHANICS of such a thing?"

"Well, I AM a bit confused. I mean..." Erin shrugged. "Do the Zora lay eggs?"

"Oh yes." Nayru nodded, quickly stepping over to the far end of the light-blue-painted room, heading towards an enormous chalkboard and quickly writing up a diagram. "You see, for ME, it's a simple matter of fertilization of-"

FIVE MINUTES LATER...

"I probably should have saved the explanation about Farore and the seeds for later..." Nayru decided as she folded her arms, shaking her head back and forth as Erin emptied the contents on her stomach into a nearby trash can, and, mercifully, not into the pool of water nearby, much to the Water Spirit Morpha's relief.

That is, until the can tipped over and the contents sloughed out into the pool.

"OUUUGGGGHHHHH!"

"Ohmygodohmygod I am SO, SO sorry!"

...

...

...

...meanwhile, back upon the Great Fox, the arrangements had been made. They'd be splitting up into two teams and taking two different routes to Venom. Hopefully at least ONE would get through. But before that could happen, Fox felt the need to celebrate. After all, they'd just taken down Star Wolf with flying colors. They were probably STILL shoveling Andrew out of the snow.

"So I says to him, I says to him...RECTUM? Damn near' KILLED 'em!" Peppy managed to get out, holding a mug of ale high into the air as Falco and White laughed, the albino clapping Falco on the back, a visible red blush to the avian sapient's cheeks.

"You're-you're alright, y'know? You're the guy! You-you're the guy." Falco mumbled, hiccuping slightly as White smirked broadly, taking another long sip from his own mug as Peppy passed Falco the plate of nachos they'd been sharing.

"Well, sometimes I'm NICE, and sometimes I'm NASTY." White mused. "And sometimes I just like to sing little songs. Like this!" He cleared his throat and began to wave his mug in the air, singing a bawdy bar tune. _**"See the little goblin, see his little feet! And his little nosy-nose, isn't the goblin sweet!"  
**_  
He and Falco began singing along with each other as Peppy joined in, banging his mug on the table in the cafeteria they were sitting at as Fox raised a non-existent eyebrow, turning to Samus. "How long do you think they've been doin' that act?"

"Since puberty." Samus mused.

"You're a pretty good flier. Very good." Fox admitted to Samus. He wasn't drinking any beer. No, just hemlock. Or rather, ice water.

"You know...I saw your moves out there. You're good too." Samus told him, nodding firmly. She wasn't drinking, she just sat there in her full armor, hands held on the table, a faint contemplative tone in her voice that quickly turned harsh. "Real good...but reckless."

"Reckless?" Fox asked, frowning slightly, an irritated heat rising in his body. "When I fly, I'll have you know that my crew and my arwing come first."

"I see some real genius in your flying, McCloud." Samus admitted. "You're a hell of an instinctive pilot. Maybe too good. I'm not surprised you did so well at the Academy."

Fox was quiet for a long, long time. All other sounds seemed to be slowly drawn out, all else around him becoming nothing more than a giant blue as he felt a familiar hand pat him on the shoulder, hearing that familiar voice.

"...I had a good teacher." Fox finally mumbled out, rubbing his hands together.

"...I lost my parents too." Samus told him.

Fox looked up at her, blinking in surprise.

"I'm not tellin' you any more than that. But I know, alright? I know how it feels. So don't ever say to me that I don't "understand"." She went on, looking directly at him, letting him FEEL her burning eyes blaze into him as she did so. "Because I do. And I was younger than you when I lost them. And I SAW them die."

"...I'm sorry." Fox managed to get out, looking down at the table momentarily.

"Wasn't YOUR fault. Don't worry about it." Samus insisted, waving a hand in the air in a dismissive fashion.

"Hmm." Slippy looked at the nearby karaoke machine, trying to sort through the music. "I don't feel like any country stuff today...and I don't want any rock ballads. We need more POP, dang it." He insisted.

"You like pop songs?" Kirby asked, eyes widening in awe, his stubby little hands going to his mouth as it slowly opened in a gleeful gasp.

"He didn't say "pop", did he?" Alex asked, a nervous expression flickering across his face.

"He did." Pikachu sighed, quickly grabbing ahold of the nearby napkin container on the table THEY were sitting at, ignoring the nice salad dish he'd made for himself as he molded out some earplugs and stuffed them into his ears, handing the container to Alex. "Care to join me?"

By now Peppy, Falco and White had all started a "Rockette" line with Kirby and Slippy, and were all almost totally blitzed and dancing on top of a cafeteria table as General Pepper and his guards wisely stood far, far out of possible puking range. All of them were singing a "Pink" song at the top of their lungs and showing absolutely NO signs of stopping.

"_**SO WHAT! I'M STILL A ROCK STAR! I GOT MY ROCK MOVES!" **_

"How come you're not joining in on the massive consumption of alcohol?" ROB64 asked Yoshi as the dinosaur munched away on a large feast of what appeared to be spaghetti and meatballs. Yes, apparently being around Mario and Luigi for so long had given Yoshi a sweet tooth for Italian food.

"Whenever I drink, I turn into a stripper." Yoshi explained.

"But you have no clothes." ROB64 commented. "...or DO you?"

Fox sighed. "I REALLY don't wanna have to break the karaoke machine again."

"Care to join us?" Alex asked, holding up a napkin container in their face.

"Yes. Yes, I would." Fox decided.

"_**I'M ALL RIGHT! I'M JUST FINE! AND YOU'RE A TOOOOOOL!"**_

...

...

...

... "So lemme guess. He's great at foreplay, but pretty plain at sex." Erin asked of Zelda, who gave her a slightly annoyed look as the two headed through the hallways of the Zora Kingdom. "Mind you, White's good at sex, but he takes the "play" of "foreplay" a BIT too literally."

It wasn't REALLY the subject matter that bothered Zelda as she and Erin reached the main hall of the kingdom, sitting down to eat some...well, fish. There wasn't too much else to eat for lunch. No, talking about "it" didn't bother Zelda that much. It wasn't like sex was a taboo thing to the Hylians, you were simply supposed to be either utterly loyal to your husband or wife or else not have sex at all.

No, truth be told, it was because Erin had actually hit the nail dead on the head. Was it THAT obvious about Link?

"Look, don't gemme wrong." Erin insisted, shaking her head back and forth, waving her arms in the air. "There's plenty of things wrong with MY honey-bunnie too. It's just, well, Link is a..." She hesitated, then finally managed to squeak the words out. "Good boy."

"What?" Zelda blinked in confusion, scratching her head. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Women, at least, where I come from, REALLY like "bad boys". The ones surrounded in mystery and adventure and danger. The ones with a wild streak." Erin informed Zelda.

"Well, Link DOES have an evil side brought into physical manifestation."

"...true, true." Erin nodded sagely as they began to cut into their fried fish, Erin using the Kris knife that they'd gotten from Nayru's bedroom to cut her own meal. "You've been put in real danger before, haven't you? I mean, wasn't your ancestor kidnapped once or twice?"

"I am going to be queen of Hyrule. It's something you live with." Zelda said firmly. "I must face such trials with fortitude and honor."

"I can't imagine how Princess Peach puts up with it." Erin wondered out loud, scratching her head.

"I imagine Bowser is rather...easy. I'm quite the judge of character, Ms. Nightshade, and Bowser seems rather easy to manipulate." Zelda went on. "In fact, I imagine his troops are easy to manipulate as well. I think if Princess Peach simply asks nicely to be given strawberries and cream for breakfast, they do it and don't realize what they've done until after she'd half finished with her meal."

"Yeah, villains are stupid that way." Erin laughed, quickly dropping her tone. "But villainesses...are different. The Goddesses are murderers. We should do something. Maybe, like, right NOW."

"Not yet." Zelda insisted quietly. "They've literally got godly power. We need to be wary of them. I'm not even sure what COULD defeat them."

"...what about that "Master Sword" thing?" Erin asked, eyes widening, an idea coming into her head. "It's the "Blade of Evil's Bane", right? Surely if it can take down GANONDORF, it could take down the GODDESSES, right? I mean, that jerk's practically pure power made into physical form!"

Zelda's blue eyes went wide as dinner plates for a moment before a jackal-like grin spread across her normally refined face, a look of wild triumph glimmering brightly. "Oh, YES! That's, that's brilliant!" She whispered softly as she rubbed her gloved hands together in glee. "The Master Sword has been said to rest in the Lost Woods. Farore's a very helpful goddess, I've no doubt she'll be happy to show us the way to it if we say that we want to give it to Link in his quest to fight evil. And, well, we WILL be telling the truth..."

"Girl, you my hero." Erin laughed proudly.

Nayru, watching from far away, had not been able to hear what they'd said. They'd been smart in keeping their voices low.

But...

She DID know how to read lips.

"Well...well...well." Nayru murmured, adjusting her glasses. "This...this is just unacceptable."

ELSEWHERE...

"We're essentially flying along the sun." Samus reasoned as she leaned back in the captain's chair, their ship soared through the red dwarf star known simply as "Solar". She looked over in White's direction as he rubbed the side of his head. "It's a good thing we're going first and that I'M driving because I'm not sure you've quite finished with all that beer you downed."

White looked back at her, frowning slightly. "I'm no pussy like Nick, I don't EVER get drunk." He laughed. "A couple brewskis is nuttin' to me."

Burning fireballs raced across the surface of Solaris, rising up in arches to vanish back into the blazing hot soupy lava that made up the star. The slowly-burning star had a surface temperature of around 3500 degrees.

KELVIN.

So, understandably, everyone was feeling the heat inside the ship, with White having stripped his shirt off, Kirby lying in a corner, panting and heaving as he waved a little fan to cool himself off, and Pikachu and Yoshi sitting squarely underneath a vent that was letting out some cool air. Alex seemed totally unbothered by the heat and was sitting in the passenger chair, eyeing the shield gauge. "Regardless of whether our ship can "handle" the heat, we're not going to be able to last much longer. Look!" He tapped the glowing circular shield gauge on the dashboard, shaking his furry head back and forth. "Merely flying around is dropping our shields..."

"Yeaaaaah. Looks like you could use some help!" A low, calm voice called out over the communications systems as a grey-furred bulldog appeared on their screen.

"Who might you be?" Samus wanted to know, privately grateful that her suit had such powerful air-conditioning.

"The name's Bill. General Pepper's my uncle. Said you might need a little help." The bulldog explained as he adjusted the shades over his eyes, flying underneath a burning arch of fiery magma. "Just follow me and you'll be fine."

"Yes, we'll be fine until our ship combusts from losing shield power!" Alex spoke up.

"If you want your shields brought back up, then the answer's simple: shoot those rocks!" Bill laughed as burning-hot fiery rocks erupted out of the lava below like popcorn from an opened-up microwave. Blinking in surprise, Samus shrugged and opened fire on the rocks.

BUDDA-PA-POW! The rocks were blasted apart, leaving shimmering silver metal rings that glowed slightly, circling around in the air, slowly, surely.

"Now...fly through them!" Bill suggested.

"...okaaaaay..." Samus murmured, just deciding to "go with it" and flying through the silver rings. As the ship passed through the rings, a soothing balm seemed to settle through their ship, a cooling wind that made them all go "Ahhhh" as the shields began to rise back up, if only just a little bit.

"Wait. How did...why are silver rings doing this? How did silver rings get stuck in burning balls of magma?" Samus wanted to know.

"The heat has fused space junk into the planet, that's why." Bill told them. "Including repair rings."

"That's...WHAT?" Alex scratched his head. "Now hold on, that doesn't seem possible..."

"This is a universe where talking animals fly spaceships. You're gonna wanna suspend your disbelief a lot more." White told him, flipping a lock of white hair back as their carrier continued to sail over the fiery dwarf star's surface.

"...White...you can't fly, can you?" Samus asked.

"No. But why?"

"Because THEY can." Samus said, motioning him to take a look at the rear-view display on the dashboard, showing off incoming, red/brown-skinned winged THINGS with singular pulsing red eyes that were somehow shrieking as they made their way towards the carrier ship.

"Bogies on our tail?" Kirby asked, hopping up and down. "I've got them! Really, I can take them!"

"You can BARELY handle the heat in HERE. No, no. I'll go out there. White, take the controls. Alex, you back me up." Samus insisted, waving her hand in the air and cutting Kirby's request down.

"But YOU can't fly." Kirby pouted, folding his arms as Samus made her way to the airlock in the back with Alex following after.

"He's right. You can't." Alex told her with a small but toothy smile, erecting a shield around himself, floating several feet in the air through telekinetic might as his claws crackled with power.

"Well, I've always been the type to worry about one thing at a time." Samus insisted, charging up her power buster as the other airlock door opened up. "COME ON!" She roared, leaping out at the winged things.

With a bestial snarl, the Briton joined the space orphan in the struggle as he launched himself through the air, claws ripping through alien flesh, tearing the wings asunder as Samus launched a blast of powerful plasma from her arm cannon, leaping off the dying body of one fiery bat-creature to jam her cannon through another's head. She fired off a charged-off blast again as it shrieked and exploded into goop, being thrown back and colliding hard with ANOTHER creature.

White kept the ship circling around the two, Kirby watching the ship gauge as Pikachu and Yoshi nervously looked out the window. "We've gotta do SOMETHING. It ain't right leavin' them out there." White insisted.

"They don't need to." Kirby realized, an idea coming to him. "I keep forgetting that this is an enormous, thick ship. And those things?"

He smirked over at White, who suddenly "got" what Kirby was saying and turned the ship downward. With a satisfying meaty series of SPLATS, the remaining creatures remains were sprayed across the windshield as White grinned. "FLIES." He laughed, Alex hovering over to the airlock with Samus in his arms.

"Don't go celebrating just yet. We've got COMPANY." Bill's voice rang out as something ENORMOUS began to rise up out of the fiery red dwarf, a bone-chilling, sky-splitting insectoid like screech howling as IT came.

The best description they could give it was that it was some kind of...mantis. It had scythe-like arms, a slightly spiked head with composite eyes and two mandibles on the side of its face, with a third almost seemingly-useless mandible below its chin like some disturbing hooked goatee. The thing's body appeared to be made out of compressed superheated magma and rock, and it swung it's scythe-like arms straight at them, almost cleaving their carrier in two.

"My what awful aim you have!" White cackled as he took the firing controls, unloading on the thing's chest...the plasma seeming to just melt away into the body. "What in...CRAP! Our weapons don't work?"

"DUCK!" Samus roared out.

They maneuvered the ship in time to avoid being slashed again by the fiery mantoid creature as Samus clenched her fist. "I'm thinking that we should try and take out those arms so it can't do any more of that." She decided firmly.

"Or any more of THAT!"Kirby yelled out, little eyes widening like dinner plates as he pointed at the mantoid thing. It had swept it's arm into the burning surface of the planet and had launched a WAVE of fiery death, a miniature tsunami of fiery magma headed their way. Quickly they pulled the ship up and out of harm's way, the heat rising in their ship as the shields began to drop again.

"I'm getting really TIRED of this guy and I've only known him for a minute!" Samus decided as White leveled the plasma barrels of the ship at the thing's right arm, firing away. Sure enough, the arm was blown off, the thing's "blood" and "guts", more super-hot magma and lava, pouring out from it's stump of an arm.

"One down, one to go." White laughed, firing off the lasers at the thing's other arm, an attempt that was soon thwarted when the thing suddenly SPAT at them, launching burning boulders in their direction. "OH SH-"

KRAKA-THROOOM!

Good news: the thing's arm had been broken off by this.

Bad news: The shields were dropping like a brick.

The ship trembled violently as White ran to the airlock, the others looking over the ship's controls, Samus trying to keep the ship steady. They had maybe a few dozen seconds left before the shields failed, if the mantoid thing didn't kill them first.

"We need a miracle." Pikachu whispered, suddenly noticing White had snuck off to the airlock. "What in the hell?"

White had snuck onto the top of the ship and was placing his tipless-gloved fingers down onto it, concentrating as best he could. His body glowed bright pink as a shimmering shield began to be erected around it, White panting slightly. "It IS kinda hot out here." He admitted.

"What in the HELL!" Samus gasped out. "The shields are going up and...and you're not burning to a crisp?"

"I'm living chaos energy. I think I can take this." White laughed. "Now get set...for my _**Tête à tête!**__"_

_White held up his hands in front of him, eyes-ablazing as a surging wind seemed to make his hair billow backwards, letting out a roar as he focused his energy around him, finally leaping through the air like a grasshopper, palms aimed at the mantoid creature's head. __**"CHAOS...BLAAAAAAAAAAST!"**_

With this, the thing's head was blown off in a spiraling blast of energy, it's head sinking into the burning ocean below, the body exploding outward from within in a thousand points of light as everyone shielded their eyes, blinking a few times in surprise.

"That...did not...feel good." Nick said, re-materializing on the ship, White's hair momentarily lingering on his head before he was turned back to normal. "I wish he'd let me know before he goes and does crazy stuff like that. But, hey, we're alive, right?"

"I'm not too sure you popping back in the driver's seat will go over too well with StarFox and the others." Kirby spoke up. "They know White, they've shared nachos. That makes them "nach-bros"!"

"A heavy bond indeed." Nick said somberly. Hey, he'd met his good friend Matt over pizza at the school cafeteria.

"But they don't know you, and for some reason, I think humans in this galaxy are...well...not liked. Like, at all."

"Well, it's a good thing we won't be seeing them again until Venom, isn't it?" Nick said, shrugging. "I'll just keep out of sight if they call up again."

"They're hailing us on the channel right now." Samus said with a small hint of amusement entering her voice.

Nick dove into the bathroom immediately. "I'M NOT HERE!" He yelled out.

Unbeknownst to them, a form was watching the destruction of Andross's bio-weapon from a series of cloaked camera drones that now hurried back to their control ship. The form steepled gloved, clawed hands, a smile spreading across his features as his enormous crown slightly slipped over his forehead a bit more.

"How very...very...interesting." A slightly high-pitched, vaguely grating voice whispered. "Looks like Andross's little pet didn't have much fight to it. I'll have to send them a fruit basket for inconveniencing him. And if they actually kill him, well...won't THAT be just perfect? Happy birthday to ME!"

"Shall we continue to monitor them, sir?" A female mammalian figure asked as she stepped forward, bowing to her knees.

"Oh yes, my dear. But you need to rest. You've got a busy day ahead of you, and children to take care of. I'll deal with this myself."

"Of course, Emperor."

The being smirked to himself as his hands flew across a keyboard and he began typing rapidly, accessing the E.G.O files. "...Nicholas Michael Grey. How very intriguing. Regardless of your succession in your mission...I think it's time we introduced ourselves. I could use someone like you on my side for my righteous mission..."

...

...

...

... "Reports indicate that Andross has been working on some secret weapon." General Pepper informed Fox as his arwing soared through the stars, the blue-green nebula named "Sector X" which gave the region of space it's name illuminating the way forward.

"I'll check it out." Fox insisted as he and his team noticed a small fleet of enemy bogies, which Fox quickly blasted apart. "Let's check out that weapon, boys!" He cheered.

"Yeah, let's have a little fun. I feel the need..." Falco growled, flipping a switch and firing off a bomb that soared through space, blasting apart an oncoming quad of enemy fighters as his arwing raced past their wreckage, the avian sapient whooping wildly. "THE NEED FOR SPEED!"

"Save some for me, Falco!" Fox laughed as he unloaded a barrel of plasma in the direction of some other fighters that flew at them from the abandoned-looking waste that had, at one point, been some kind of shipyard.

"Red alert!" Peppy called out.

"Oh crap, he's right, there's an enemy group flyin' in behind us, and MAN, they're fast!" Falco gasped, seeing a squad of forces appearing n their radar. Fox saw white-hot lasers shoot by his window and he growled in annoyance, doing a quick loop-the-loop, popping up behind the bogies and unloading off a bomb of his own, the things exploding in a blaze of white/blue fire as he clenched his fist triumphantly, grinning broadly.

"We're getting close to the base." Peppy announced as they flew past the shipyard and towards what looked like what HAD been a space base. Now it was a floating, lifeless wreck of girders, broken-apart walls, power capsules and space junk, the occasional body part floating by...a grim reminder of a foul fate that had befallen the crew of the base.

"Someone beat us here...it's all gone!" Falco murmured. "But...how? Who?"

"Star Wolf turning on their boss?" Slippy wondered, shrugging slightly as he did so.

"Ms. Aran and the others are lightyears away, they couldn't have done this...geez, it's like...like the base was ripped apart by a GIANT of some kind." Fox pondered as his arwing flew past more and more wreckage, a frozen and bloodied arm bouncing off his window, making him let out a "YECCCH" in disgust.

Then something seemed to barrel out of the wreckage of one of the walls, what appeared to be a rocket-propelled giant ARM with segmented fingers.

"What the heck is THAT?" Falco cried out as he ducked his ship out of harm's way, clearly weirded out by the giant arm.

"I don't know, but can anybody spy anything similar to it lurking about?" Fox asked. "I don't want ANOTHER one of those things..."

"What the-FOX!" Falco yelled out suddenly. **"Look behind you!"**

Fox knew what this meant. He ducked the ship down just in time to avoid two giant robotic arms that attached themselves to a slightly bulky "torso", with a t-shaped structure attaching to the top before his eyes. "So...THIS is the enemy weapon." Fox reasoned as a burning red robotic eye appeared on his communications channel.

"I will terminate all enemies. YOU are an enemy. Destroy! Destroy!" The weapon said in a high-pitched, robotic tone, it's thick robotic hands striking out, trying to smack Fox's ship down like he was a fly, the two laser cannons to the sides of it's "eyes" blasting pale blue energy at Fox.

"You can TRY." Fox growled, launching a bomb straight at the thing's glowing yellow "eyes" on the t-shaped "head" it had. An explosion rocked the enormous thing, making it "stagger" around before it made a cocky beckoning motion with one hand, trying to fire at Fox again.

"You are an enemy!" The robot repeated.

"Yeah, I heard!" Fox snapped, firing off at the thing's eyes, blasting them out as the thing hung lifelessly in space.

"Yeaaaah! You DID it!" Slippy cheered.

Then the thing got back UP, waving a finger in the air in a mocking fashion. "HUH?" Fox gaped, eyes widening as he blinked stupidly for a few moments. It was still alive? Well, alive as a robotic superweapon gone insane COULD be.

"The view...is...clear." The robot said calmly. "Destroy...DESTROY!" It roared out, it's arms spinning around like a pinwheel as it tried to knock Fox out of the sky.

"Destroy WHAT? The thing is crazy. It must have torn the base apart itself." Falco reasoned.

"Let ME take care of this!" Slippy yelled out, quickly diving in on his ship, aiming his lasers at the thing's stubby head and firing off a few rounds of plasma.

As it turned out, the thing had been on it's last legs. The robot began to spark and sizzle as the arwings quickly jetted away from it, the robot letting out a final scream. "I MUST BE COMPLEEEEEEETE!"

With that, it exploded in burning red and white fire, the thing dying in the very place it had been "born". Letting out a sigh of relief, Fox leaned back in his chair. "Hey...Falco. Still feel the need? The need for speed? Cuz I'll race you back to the Great Fox. I could REALLY use a long shower right now."

"Hah! I'd say...I'm already halfway there!" Falco laughed, gunning his arwing engines.

...

...

...

... "You're CERTAIN that the Master Sword's somewhere in here?" Erin inquired of Farore as the poofball-haired goddess led them through the stony temple of time towards a series of doorways that had various words etched into them on gold plaques.

"Yes, yes. We put in a maze in order to guard it...actually, SEVERAL...and the Temple has it's own defenses. We wouldn't want just ANYBODY getting close to the Blade of Evil's Bane. For all we know some sorcerer could try and copy the sword's magical aura, or some idiot could try and pull it out of it's pedestal and end up being, well, fried." Farore shook her head. "Occasionally the Kokiri dare each other to go to the resting place of the Master Sword."

"They've never tried to remove it, have they?" Zelda asked nervously, looking clearly concerned as Farore looked over the many doors.

"No, no, the dare is to TOUCH it. But most can't get past this." Farore gestured at the many doors with a wave of her hand, sighing slightly. "The first part of the maze. You need to be of pure heart and desire to open the right door, but which door IS the right door is always changing, and you just gotta keep trying until you find it."

"Well that doesn't sound so bad." Erin said, opening up one door.

"GET! OUT! OF! MY! ROOOOOOOOM!" A hooded, beak-nosed black thing roared, waving a lantern in Erin's face before she shut the door again.

"...nevermind." She squeaked out.

"And that's one of the NICER choices." Farore added. "This is why I usually tend to bring heavy weaponry when I need to check on the sword."

"Why didn't you just install a Goddesses-only path or something? A backdoor?" Erin wanted to know, going to another door and quickly shutting it with a shriek. "SHARKS! THERE WERE SHARKS! IN SPACE! SPACE SHARKS!"

"No, that would be **cheating**." Farore insisted, shaking her head back and forth.

"This is irritating." Zelda sighed. "But perhaps...hmm." She rubbed her chin, a thoughtful expression coming to her face. "We Hylians were given long ears to hear messages of the spirits. Is not the Master Sword imbued with the greatest spirit of Hyrule? Does it not represent the Hero of Time and his ideal? Maybe..."

She closed her eyes, leaning in to listen to one door after the other. For the first few...silence. Then...

In here...in here...

She pushed the door open. Sure enough...there was a long, crystalline hallway leading towards a small fountain with something shining at the bottom. "Well. Shall we?" She asked Erin, the two of them heading inside as Farore nervously rubbed the back of her neck.

"Ah, I...have...other things I need to do. The Kokiri always gotta get looked after, y'know, or they'll, well, make things fall over by accident." Farore apologized, clapping her hands as a ball f light floated through the air to hover around Erin and Zelda. But my friend will be happy to help you guys out!"

"Hello." It spoke in a cheerful, helpful voice, bobbing in the air. The little thing seemed to radiate like a sunflower glowing in the morning light, and had a gentle warmth to it's voice. "I'm Navi. It's so nice to meet you two, especially..." She nodded in Zelda's direction. "You. Zelda, right?"

"Navi?" Zelda rubbed her chin. She could vaguely remember...a past Link long gone...wasn't Link's fairy at one time...

"Yes. Navi! I'll be your guide from here on out. I hope I don't get in the way." She added, tilting her "head" to the side slightly.

"No, we'd love the extra company." Erin insisted cheerily, privately grateful since she couldn't stop thinking about "the seeds" and wasn't too comfortable with spending any more time around Farore.

A somber-faced Farore closed the door behind them, nervously biting one fingernail.

"...please forgive me..._please_." She spoke softly, her footfalls being the only sound that now echoed through the forest as she made her way back to the Kokiri Village.


	22. Chapter 22

**CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO**

Fox adjusted his white jacket as he gazed out the nearby window of private quarters in the "Great Fox" momentarily, a look of quiet contemplation upon his foxy features. "Captain's log, number twenty two..."

THWUNKA-FWOOSH.

"Number twenty three..."

TWHUNKA-FWOOSH.

"Number twenty-four..."

FFFFFSSSSSHHHHH.

"GAAAAH!"

Fox managed to pick himself from off the floor, now covered in foam from the fire extinguisher, his private little fire now put out as well as Falco lowered the nozzle, glancing over at the enormous pile of logs by Fox and then at Fox himself, shaking his head back and forth.

"**What**?" Fox wanted to know.

"Somebody had to stop you. I decided it was gonna be me." Falco insisted calmly, going back into the hallway of the Great Fox to place the Fire Extinguisher back in the capsule-shaped deposit box it had in the wall situated between he and Fox's personal quarters. "You just can't resist that sort of thing, can you?"

"Not anymore than you can resist doing the more reckless stunts out there. I mean...you're a damn good flyer, Falco, but you're also everyone's problem. That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like that you're **dangerous**." Fox told him. "

"That's right. I'm **dangerous**." Falco laughed, snapping his beak swiftly like he was clacking his "teeth".

It was then that the alarm blared in the ship once again. They'd reached their next destination, named...Macbeth.

Macbeth was a tragedy to behold. A tragedy because at one point it had been the centerpiece , the crowning jewel in the aerospace industry of the Lylat System. But because it had been so close to planet Venom, Andross had taken it over quickly and forced it to make weapons of mass destruction.

Well...they were just gonna have to do something to change that. Readying their own Landmaster Tanks, General Pepper appeared on the Great Fox's communications system, praising them with a big grin on his face.

"You're going to directly attack their base and shut down operations? Great idea, Fox!"

"How did this idiot become a GENERAL?" Falco mumbled to himself. "Attacking enemy assets, what a brilliant plan!" He murmured, waving his wing/hands in the air, imitating General Pepper.

"You know...I can SEE you." General Pepper growled out.

"Errr...KRRRRSH! Y-you're breaking-KRRRRSH! You're breaking up!" Falco quickly lied, shutting the communications relay off, wiping his forehead off and letting out a sigh of relief.

"This'll be a piece of cake!" Fox told his friends, clenching his fists tightly.

"Don't go a-jinxin' it, Fox." Peppy warned. "There's a time and place for courage in one's abilities and a time and place for caution."

"We can do it! We just gotta believe in ourselves!" Slippy said proudly, punching up into the air and accidentally hitting his roof. "OW."

"...really? "We just gotta believe in ourselves"?" Falco muttered, rolling his eyes. "...Slippy, no. Just...no."

"Hey! I built the things you'll be using to blow stuff up, I can say whatever I want!" Slippy isnsisted with a large pout on his face, folding his arms and swelling up slightly with a "BAR-UR-URP". "...**oop**!...hold on...gotta...gotta lose the extra air!" He gurgled out, waddling away to get rid of the air bubble he'd accidentally gotten stuck in his jaw.

"Here, I've been there." Jigglypuff said supportingly, patting Slippy on the head as she leapt up to his shoulder. "Now just listen closely, here's what you gotta do..."

SOON...

Eight space meters long and 17.5 space meters wide, the vaguely winged black-treated tank that was the Landmaster raised it's cannon high into the air as Fox piloted it across grassy knoll after grassy knoll. It, much like Slippy's other invention the Blue Marine, used propulsion system components originally developed for the arwings, and could synthesize it's own hydrogen fuel for it's plasma engines. All this meant one thing: a bigger, better tank for blowin' s—t up.

"I'm piloting a tank the size of a small house to blow the hell out of a train that's a hundred stories tall. Man, I LOVE my job. I'm serious guys, I **LOVE** my job!" Fox insisted proudly as his tank rolled up alongside the enormous supply train and he unleashed a series of greenish/white plasma upon it with Falco roaring in delight over the communications systems.

"Hoo-yeah! All-right! Take it out, take it all out!"

"This would be easier if there weren't all these little rocky hills all over." Fox admitted, maneuvering the landmaster on it's tread-jets to rise over a series of small, stubby, rough hills.

"Well-well. Andross warned us about the Star Fox Team, and here come the lil' hyenas now!" A baboon in a green cap growled, appearing on the communications system.

"Hey, mook!" Falco laughed. "That's offensive to hyenas. Hyena-ist."

"Oh, you want our cargo? Well, here ya go!" The "conductor" laughed, as one of the train's carts overturned it's cargo, releasing large chunks of coal that rolled out to try and crush the Landmaster. Fox reacted swiftly, gritting his teeth as he activated the jets and shot up into the air, leaping over chunk after chunk.

"We got a problem. Here they come!" Falco called out as bogies soared through the air, the avian sapient spiraling across the sky, doing a quick backflip to avoid a stream of plasma.

It was then that a voice familiar to Falco rose up from the communications relay, seductive, soft, slightly flirty.

"Staring WITHOUT me? Boys, I'm crushed." Katt Monroe giggled as she fired off a hot load of plasma fire to sizzle some bogies who had been chasing Falco, Peppy and Slippy gaping in surprise, nobody more shocked than Falco, who whipped his head in the direction of Katt's ship, gasping.

"Katt?" He murmured, whacking his hand to his face, pulling it down slightly in aggravation. "Ohhh, not you again."

"Is that any way to greet a girl?" Katt purred as she joined in the dogfight, Fox cranking up the engines as he raced after the train. "Or your old girl?"

"We're welcome for the help." Fox admitted at last, catching sight of the train again and unleashing a bomb squarely at the rear train. "...it's just a...surprise."

"Dammit!" The conductor roared out. "Detach the rear train vehicle!" He demanded, leaving it behind in the dust as Peppy frowned slightly at this.

"They're trying to get away! We can't let 'em reach their supply depot!"

"He WON'T get away." Fox insisted as he chased the train through a tunnel, keeping the landmaster from slamming into pipes that shot out from the wall to stall him.

"What's wroooong? Come a lil' CLOSER." The conductor growled as the tunnel opened up to a more open area. "A...little CLOSER!"

With that, IT rose out from a train car, a giant, hornet-like mech with silvery/white armor. Blue energy began to gather around it's wings as the thing unloaded two rays of energy down on Fox, who quickly rolled the Landmaster out of the way.

"Don't worry, Fox. You can take this boss out!" Peppy insisted as Fox unleashed a bomb in the thing's direction, making it rock back and forth.

CRACK!

"Good goin', Peppy." Jigglypuff muttered under her breath back aboard the Great Fox as she monitored the situation with ROB64. "Ya broke the Fourth Wall!"

Fox grinned suddenly, an idea coming to him. "Slippy...tell me...is there another track for this train?"

"Yes, and there's a switch to change the tracks coming up on your right."

"Where does that track lead to-wait, don't tell me." Fox sniggered, unleashing some plasma upon a metallic, flag-like switch, a loud, CHA-CHUNK sound indicating his work was done. "A DEAD END."

"AAAAA!" The conductor screamed, seeing his train was heading not towards the LONG way into the base, but the short route. And his supply train didn't have the brakes to handle the short route. "I can't stop it! AAAAAAAA!"

The explosion rocked the base as it went up in a beautiful burning red/black dome of fire, Fox calmly riding the Landmaster past the ruined base as Katt's pink ship soared overhead with the rest of Star Fox. "Well, time to head out. All aircraft report!"

"I can just imagine the looks on their stupid faces!" Slippy giggled out.

"I'll bet we really hurt 'em this time!" Peppy agreed.

"Yeah, Andross better watch it, it's OUR turn to kick some tail!" Falco said proudly.

"Well, I'd love to stay, but I gotta jet. I'm outta here." Katt winked seductively, her ship rising off into the clouds. "Take care, Falco."

"Yeah, you too, Katt." Falco murmured nervously, pulling his collar away from his neck, a momentary blush coming to his cheeks.

"Sector Z awaits us." Fox spoke quietly. "And then...it's a clean sailing to Venom."

...

...

...

... "So this is it, eh?" Samus murmured as their carrier ship soared across the inky blackness of space towards the Bolse Space Station on the borders of Venominian airspace. "If we destroy the satellite, we can go straight for Venom."

"It's not a pleasant-looking thing." Alex admitted as they approached the space station.

Indeed. It was essentially a giant metallic brick floating in space with circular relay panels situated in it's center, and a pinkish, electrically-crackling energy shield at the top. Various poles situated at the top of the Bolse Space Station were apparently providing the shield with it's energy, so the solution was simple...destroy the barrier poles and they could then fire at the power core of the station and thus, blow it all to Hell!

"There's only six of these, luckily." Yoshi spoke up as he and Pikachu aimed the ship's plasma cannons and fired away at one of the towers, blasting it to pieces before Kirby let out a "Yeep", noticing there were ships appearing on the radar.

"We've got bogies at 10, 11, 12...EVERY o'clock!" He gasped, little stubby hands flying to slap the top of his head.

"And they're all shielded!" Pikachu gasped in surprise as he leveled the blaster cannons at the oncoming bogies.

"Doesn't matter if it takes a little extra oomph, we can bring them down!" Alex insisted. "I'll head out there and help bring 'em down. Samus, you comin'? Can your suit handle deep space?"

"My suit can handle almost anything if I access the right tools..." Samus said, stepping away from the controls as Nick nervously took ahold of it, gulping deeply. He was NOT good with ships like this. At all.

"It's just like a video game, it's just like a video game..." He murmured to himself as Samus's suit began to pulse with a strange light, activating an oxygenated shield and magnetized boots to make sure she didn't go flying off into space. Heading back out the airlock, Alex and Samus smiled at each other.

"Anything's better than lava." Alex decided as they leapt out onto the space station, Alex's claws ripping through one ship as Samus aimed her buster arm high, firing off a powerful charged shot as Pikachu and Yoshi took down the last tower.

"The force field is down!" Nick cheered, grinning broadly and punching the air before he saw an enormous flurry of non-shielded air fighters emerging from the core to defend it. "...aw, dang." He mumbled, the happy look stripped away from his face on the spot.

"At least we can see the core!" Pikachu said cheerily, pointing with a single tiny claw at a pillar that had emerged from the center of the space station, pulsing yellow energy cells clearly visible all around it.

"If we fire on them...overloard them with our plasma..." Kirby decided.

"You're pretty smart about this sort of thing." Yoshi complimented.

Kirby beamed pridefully. "I've fought people out in space before. Overloading the big glowing things always seems to work."

"This shouldn't take too long!" Alex mused to himself as he landed on another air fighter, ripping it in half and then jumping on to another ship.

And then Wolf's voice came out over the communications relay, making them all gasp. "Can't let you do that, you little thieves."

"I think I'll torture you for a while." Leon mused coldly, steepling his fingers.

"You'll get to die just like James McCloud. Ooooh, he screamed REAAAAAL good before he _DIED_!" Pigma laughed hysterically.

"You'll be sorry you crossed Star Wolf!" Andrew snarled, clenching his fist tightly.

The Wolfen Fighters soared across Bolse as Nick desperately tried to pilot the ship away, Samus hiding behind one of the ruined pillars, charging up her plasma buster as Alex raced across the space station, clenching one fist tightly as energy swirled around it.

"Do a cartwheel, Nick!" Kirby yelled. "Up-C!"

"What?"

"UP on the Control Stick!"

"I'm TRYING!" Nick screamed, shaking the control stick back and forth hysterically as the Wolfen Fighters soared after their ship.

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! You haven't got a prayer-"

Samus fired.

THUDDA-BOOOOOM!

"This can't be happeniiiiiing! Not AGAAAAAIN!" Leon yelled, his ship spiraling off through space as smoke rose up from the busted back.

"I can handle this..." Nick grunted furiously, clenching his fists tightly as he finally tugged the controls up far enough. With that, the ship did a cartwheel, shooting up in the air, Wolf blinking in surprise.

"What the heck?"

"I know what you're thinkin'! Turning sharply? What **sorcery **is THIS!" Nick laughed as Andrew and Wolf veered off to take care of Samus and Alex respectively, Pigma finding the carrier ship landing right...on TOP of him.

And unfortunately for him, his ship wasn't strong enough to take it.

"AAAAUUUUGGGH!" Pigma screeched as his ship SLAMMED hard into the space station, visibly sticking out of it like the station was a school room ceiling and it was a pencil some impish kid had put in to see if the teacher would notice. "My reward...ohhhh, my beautiful reward..."

"Come here you little pest..." Andrew growled as he leveled his lasers in Samus' direction, or rather, he TRIED to. There were dozens of little poles all around and it was hard to figure out which one she was behind. He kept getting his ship blasted at from seemingly everywhere, and his ship's targeting sensors were having a hard time picking up-

Wait...there she was, right-

Aiming her cannon right at him.

"UNCLE, HELP MEEEE!" Andrew howled as his ship was sent soaring away, Samus holding her buster arm up in triumph for a moment before turning to look over in Alex's direction.

The Briton had leapt onto Wolf's ship and was now phasing through, grinning at Wolf as his claws dug into the sapient's chest. "I'm not in a good mood." He said darkly. "You've been trying to hurt my friends for money. That really, REALLY cheeses me off."

"FANGS, I GET IT!" Wolf wisecracked darkly as he bit Alex's cheek, making the transformed Briton screech, flailing around as he slammed into the ship controls, sending the two spiraling down towards the energy core. "Oh HELL!" Wolf howled, Alex turning around and noticing they were about to crash.

"ALEX, NO!" Nick screamed.

"No." Samus whispered.

"Oh CRAP!" Kirby yelled.

"_Kuso_!" Pikachu swore.

"Somebody stop them!" Yoshi gasped out.

Luckily, somebody did. Steepling his clawed, gloved fingers, the Emperor held his finger up as his ship suddenly was THERE, booming into existence out of a quick warp. "Beam them up, my dear." He demanded.

Hands flicked out over a control pad, and in an instant, Star Wolf and our surprised protagonists found themselves all being TUGGED and PULLED and YANKED and-

And now they all lay in a jumbled, confused and groaning pile, and found themselves glancing up at what could only be described as...well...

"CRAB PEOPLE?" Nick exclaimed, gaping stupidly at the beings that surrounded them in the dark-steeled hallways of whatever enormous warship they were on. And true, they DID look like crab people. Sharp, long claws instead of real hands, spiky legs they scuttled around on...burning yellow eyes with black pupils...

"CragMITES." One of them snapped, looking slightly irritated. He was considerably well-built, more so than the others. Presumably he was a captain of the guard. "Now I suggest you come a-quietly or we're givin' ya a swift, albeit painful, death."

"You're so considerate to go the extra mile." Leon murmured, looking slightly amused by this. "I take it you'll use THAT gun to do it?" He mused, examining the long-barreled high-powered repeater rifle in the purplish/white-skinned being's claw hand.

"Why, yes. Yes I will-"

Leon's tongue shout out and he GRABBED ahold of the gun, yanking his head to the side. The captain of the guard was forcibly slammed into the other cragmites as our group leapt up, Pikachu turning to Wolf.

"I believe the saying goes as such: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Right now, we have bigger fish to fry." He held out a single paw. "Shall we form a truce?"

"...for NOW." Wolf growled. "I'm still angry over my tanks..." He mumbled balefully. "Probably exploded along with the station by now..."

All of them carefully crept along the darkened, dimly-lit hallways, over a long railing system, hearing a strange, bubbly-like sound eching through the halls. "What do you think that is?" Alex whispered, turning to Yoshi, rubbing his throbbing, wounded cheek.

Yoshi blinked as he looked upwards completely, pointing up. "Those things." He whimpered out.

All of them glanced upwards, seeing mechanized THINGS with fishbowl-esque helmets hiding on the ceiling with magnetized boots. The creatures heads were clearly visible in some kind of odd liquid, and they appeared to be vaguely fishlike amoeboid beings.

"DROPHYDS?" Wolf exclaimed.

"You RECOGNIZE these things?" Nick gasped as they ran along the hallway, the drophyds dropping down and chasing after them in their mechanized suits, shooting off plasma cannons at them.

"Yes, they're actually a delicacy! When they're not in that armor, anyhow!"

"I personally HATE fish!" Nick shouted as they ran into a nearby doorway, quickly slamming it shut, Samus welding the door up with her plasma buster as Wolf pulled out some small plasma pistols hidden inside his suit. Nick looked at them, noticing the odd symbols emblazoned upon them. "Those things look...different...than usual pistols."

"I ordered them with modifications."

"Legal mods?"

"Legal-ISH." Wolf mused, everyone getting out of the way as he aimed one of the pistols at the door.

THOOSHA-KWOOOOOM! It, and the drophyds behind it, were sent BARRELING clear through wall after wall, a burning, concussive shock blast launching them far away as Kirby beamed.

"I think I LIKE this guy." Kirby decided as they slunk back out onto the main hallways, racing through the darkness once again and quickly making their way through a set of double doors.

They soon found themselves surrounded on all sides by cragmites and drophyds, Wolf leveling his pistols at them as Nick took up a fighting position with the others. "This is gonna STINK." Yoshi mumbled.

"I can handle them." Alex growled, his fur beginning to bristle as energy crackled around his paws. "Just HIT THE FLOOR, alright? And keep your eyes shut, I don't want the younger generation seein' this!"

"...well, he's the boss." Nick decided, quickly ducking down as Alex let out a furious roar, leaping through the air, claws crackling with energy, Wolf staying up to get some pot shots off.

"I SAID keep DOWN!" Alex roared, shoving him down and jumping over his head.

Burning, sizzling flesh. Howls, screams, roars...

Panting.

All of them slowly opened their eyes, seeing Alex panting heavily, resting on his knees...returned back to human form. "Ugh..." He muttered, looking down at his hands. "Wh-what's going on? Why...why did I change back?"

Wolf frowned darkly. He was annoyed at the thought of this human getting the better of him, but then he noticed something. Something VERY disturbing. He raised a quaking finger up, eyes bugging out, mouth slowly opening. "...your palms." He whispered.

The others gasped in surprise as Alex held one palm up...

HAIR. And pointed nails...and he could feel pointed teeth in his mouth.

"Wh-what's...oh no. Oh no. When you BIT me, you...I'm..." Alex clasped his cheek, shaking slightly. "I'm turning into a WEREWOLF!"

"Well, well, WELL, that IS an interesting twist." A slightly annoyed and high-pitched voice called out. "But I must insist that you cease your futile efforts at resistance. The first batch was merely meant to RESTRAIN you, to tire you out. This next batch, I assure you..."

At that moment, all of the walls in the circular room they had found themselves in rose up, the lights flooding on. They could see they were SURROUNDED on all sides by well-armed and deadly warriors, with a thick-glassed spectator's box in the upper area of the room, to the north. They could vaguely make out two shapes present, but beyond that, little else save for a loudspeaker section at the front.

"The next batch WILL kill you...if I tell them to."

"...I don't think we should try anything. I don't want to risk it." Pikachu whispered to them all.

"...GRRR." Nick clenched his fist angrily. "I HATE the idea of surrendering to a villain. Why can't I just sing a song? I'm sure I could-"

"If you TRY to sing a song, Mr. Grey, and perhaps teleport your friends away, you'd most likely end up in outer space outside. Or if you wanted to bring your friends back home by singing some tuching pop melody, I would order my men to shoot you in the throat before you could get anything out. Or rather...shoot one of your FRIENDS in the throat." The being on the loudspeaker said softly, dangerously. "You would never be able to live with that...would you?"

"...how in the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks do you know my name?" Nick asked, lowering his fists as the others watched a shielded elevator descend from the spectator booth, veiled so as to keep it's occupants hidden. Moments later, the elevator had reached their level, the cloaked viel opening as smoke billowed out, obscuring the two individuals who'd been inside from sight as the speaker went on, calm and confident.

"I know MANY things about you, little human." The being informed him. "In fact, I know about ALL of you. Wolf O'Donnel, Leon Powalski, Pigma Dengar, Andrew Oikonny. Pikachu...of the Valley Clan, correct? Yoshi, loyal steed of the Mario Brothers...Kirby, the Star Warrior. Samus Aran, inheritor of the Chozo's Will...Alex Hardie, dimensional hopper, and you...Mr. Nick Grey...the Guide."

All of them stared. This being knew all of their names. Not merely that, the way in which he SAID them...it was like he was addressing them as dear neighbors, like he'd known about them for years. The thought that this unknown being could possibly know so much about them, and the fact that he seemed aware of the existence of other realms of existence, this made Nick very suspicious.

"But here I am talking so much about YOU...when I haven't even introduced myself!" With that, the being stepped forward, drawing himself to full height as he stood by a yellowish-furred mammalian creature with large ears and slightly triangular feet. This female creature rested her head on a black-gloved hand, wearing a slightly revealing dark red outfit with black highlights, to match the outfit that her apparent benefactor was wearing.

"I...am Emperor Percival Tachyon! Crown prince of the Cragmites, conqueror of space and time, and esteemed member of the Evil Genius Organization!" The cragmite announced. He was a small-fanged, vaguely reptilian being...slightly short, about five feet tall, with a dark red vest that he was wearing across a lean, almost emaciated chest, and strong-looking spiked legs. He had his arms spread out wide to further add to the "importance" of this proclamation and was wearing an important-looking sash with various medals of some kind that appeared to indicate military skill and intelligence going across his chest like a bandolier. He was also wearing a slightly rounded, vaguely square-shaped black crown with three red stripes leading down to a glistening golden emerald in the center. Not only that, he had a dark black scepter with a glistening purplish/blue crystal held at the top.

It looked very, very gaudy...in fact, his entire outfit seemed to be SCREAMING the words "Notice me! NOTICE ME!"

But that's not what Nick had noticed. No, what Nick had noticed was-

"Your name is **PERCIVAL**?" He asked, scratching his head.

That got the cragmite to scowl. "Not again! **EMPEROR**! See the crown?" He snapped, pointing at his crown. "See the scepter?" He added, waving his scepter in the air before motioning at his army. "The enormous battleship and legion of loyal commandos?** EMP! ER! OR!**"

"...I'm gonna call you "Perry"." Nick decided, snapping his fingers and nodding eagerly. "Yeah, "Perry"."

Tachyon let out a deep, low moan, sinking slightly on his spider/crab legs as the mammalian female next to him patted him reassuringly on the shoulder, making him compose himself and scratch the small red "fins" on the side of his head before he pointed his scepter at them. "Now then, I imagine you want to know what you're doing here and why I beamed you aboard my ship instead of letting you all blow up on Bolse."

"Yes. Be a good Bond villain and tell us what's going on." Alex requested.

"Simple. Star Wolf, you're a mercenary team. You work for the highest bidder. Well..."

Tachyon snapped his fingers and the mammalian female pulled out something from the belt she was wearing, handing it to Wolf. He looked down at the diamond she'd handed to him and he examined it with a small little microscope he had in one tiny pouch. "No, no, you can't buy us off-"

It must have been worth QUITE a lot because he immediately grinned broadly. "Or maybe you CAN!" He laughed. "F—k Andross! Boys...we got ourselves a new employer!"

"B-but-but..." Andrew began to say as Tachyon clapped his hands, rubbing them together.

"Good, good! Bring our new friends to their quarters here on the "Cadence"." The emperor said cheerily as Star Wolf, including a depressed and protesting Andrew were led away through a hallway, the cragmite turning to the others.

"And as for us? You obviously left us alive for some reason." Samus said calmly, accusingly.

"You're alive, because for one, you are fighting against Andross...and I despise him. Quite a **lot**. I want him dead because it means I'll be closer to gaining the Grand Scion position in E.G.O. Also...because, quite simply...I'm a fan." Tachyon added, striding over to Nick and giving him a slightly condescending smile as he looked up at Nick. "I admire your work. Quite a lot, actually." He said, grinning ferally.

"I suppose I should be flattered." Nick mumbled nervously. "...but your...um...your assistant looks familiar. Have we met before?" He asked, rubbing his chin.

"The name is Angela Cross." Angela said, tilting her head to the side ever-so-slightly and smiling at them. "It's a pleasure."

"Angela Cr-" Nick's eyes widened. Suddenly he "got" it. Qwark...Ms. Cross here...

"You're from Ratchet and Clank's realm!" Nick gasped, pointing at Tachyon. "But...but wait! How can you be in E.G.O? You're not from anywhere CLOSE to a cartoony realm of existence, this...this shouldn't be possible?"

"My dear boy, if you have power, ANYTHING is possible." Tachyon mused.

"Especially if you've got a golden emerald that was given to you by a drop-dead gorgeous, fox eared big-breasted human." Angela added as Tachyon motioned for them to follow him down another hallway.

"Yes, yes, that helps too!" Tachyon said in a chipper fashion, rubbing his hands together. "I owe my life to Susan Marie. Charming girl. Very nice BEHIND. She helped me when I was trapped in a desolate dimension, stuck on a small planetoid...my life was saved by a force you're well aware of, Mr. Grey." He mused. "You might remember her by another name as well...MARIAN?"

Nick stiffened up.

_"Everything I've done has been not for my own desires, but to help Zim and Dib and Gaz and GIR and all the others become better people. I've bailed them out of jams not because I wanted something from them but because they needed __help__. I'm PROUD of what I've done." Nick said. "And I'm going to cure them!"_

_"No…you won't." Sue said. "GUYS!"_

_Nick gasped as he was surrounded on all sides by the Andi, Marty, Marian and Perry. "Alright, Sues, hold him steady."_

_"You sick little!" Nick screamed. "I'll…I'll…"_

_"You won't do ANYTHING. You don't fight girls, do ya you little pussy?" Andi sneered._

_"And you…sniff…" Perry's eyes welled up with tears. "You wouldn't hurt a little kid, wouldja?"_

_"…well…no…I __**wouldn't**__…" Nick admitted, nervously biting his lip._

_"__**THAT'S**__ what we were counting on." Marty laughed as Sue raised her gun and aimed…_

Nick shuddered, clinging to himself tightly, that familiar remembrance of death striking hard. Those Sues...

"Angela, escort our other guests to their quarters and let us chart a course for Venom so they can assist their friends, the Star Fox team." The Emperor ordered as Angela nodded, leading the others through a different doorway as Nick followed Tachyon to the bridge of his ship as he sat down in a floating throne, steepling his fingers and sighing quietly.

"As for you, Mr. Grey, I'd like to have a little talk with you about...well..."

The cragmite turned around, his tone becoming more genial.

"FAMILY."

...

...

...

...Erin and Zelda calmly made their way towards the fountain, looking into the crystalline waters it was filled with and noticing what was lying at the bottom: a key. Erin tried to reach down and tug the key out of the water, only, the moment her hand clasped it, it felt a hundred pounds heavier, forcing her to let go.

"It is definitely enchanted." Navi explained as she hovered overhead. "I'm afraid that if we are to get at the key, we must rid ourselves of that water. I wouldn't drink it if I were you though, most likely, it carries some terrible curse!"

"Well, good thing I brought this book with us." Erin said, holding up the text that explained how to separate her honey-bunny from her dear friend. "Hmm..." She murmured, glancing through. "...here's something that could help. A water-parting spell. Like a "Moses" deal...but I can't tell how to pronounce this word." She said, pointing down at a oddly-voweled word. "Ooh-rauh...bahm...nah?"

"No, no, it's "Ooh-rah-bauhm-nuh"." Zelda clarified as the water in the fountain before them parted in half, allowing the key to be snatched up by Erin, who took it over to the nearest door, opening it up.

The next room had within it a very familiar figure to Zelda...

The Skull Kid.

"Hello, hello, hellooooo!" The Skull Kid said, bouncing around the banner-filled room, leaping from broken pillar to broken pillar as a crystal chandelier swung overhead. "This is the test of knowledge! I'm going to be asking you some riddles!" He explained. "After all, you've proven yourself fairly clever in magic already...but to be worthy of being within merely the same ROOM as the Master Sword, THAT..." The Skull Kid held up a long finger. "That requires a keen mind!"

"Go ahead, ask your riddle." Erin decided, visibly creeped out by this glowy-eyed thing.

"I sat with my love, and I drank with my love and my love she gave me light. And I'll give any man a pint of wine who'll read me riddle right! Only I don't have a pint of wine." The Skull Kid explained as Navi let out a "YEEESH" of disgust, apparently realizing the answer which was, at least, obviously to her, repulsive.

"That's a EVIL question with an EVIL answer!" Navi said coldly, her body turning a dark blue as they realized she was furious with the Skull Kid.

"So...you know it?" The Skull Kid mused, a skeletal grin splitting his features as he hung from the chandelier by his toes.

"You sat in a chair made of your love's bones, drank from a cup made from her skull and saw by the light of a candle you made with her FAT." Navi mumbled balefully. "Is that good enough? Are we "ENLIGHTENED" enough to you?"

"Oh, quite, quite." The Skull Kid mused. "I can see you're in no mood for fooling around. But I should warn you, the final test is one of raw strength, and...well..." He shook his head back and forth. "The guardian of this area is mean, mad, mythical, and you're no knights in shining armor." He added, snapping his fingers as a doorway popped up in the center of the room.

"We'll take our chances, CHUCKLES." Erin snapped, opening up the doorway and stepping into a woody grove with Zelda and Navi.

There it was. Situated in a stone pedestal, the faint light of the sun filtered through the forest layer above to the grassy ground surrounding it...there was the Master Sword. A purple hilt...a golden gem embedded within the handle...a gleaming, shining steely-silver blade that seemed to pulse with serene power. Above all, the whole area seemed utterly self-contained...calm...natural...serene.

"Be careful." Zelda whispered as she and Erin looked around the area, Navi bobbing up and down in the air. "It's only a matter of time before this peace is shattered."

"You don't know the HALF of it!" Navi suddenly gasped out. "QUICK, SCATTER!"

Zelda and Erin leapt away in time to avoid one of the most disgusting, foulest-looking creatures they had EVER seen landing on top of them. The thing's appearance was something like a cross between a Kokiri of some kind with two bristling, clawlike ponytails and the lower body of an armored arachnid. It had a single bulging red eye in the center of it's head, with sharp dark red clawed hands and an unnatural-looking fleshy body of a female human for a torso. It scrambled towards them on it's spidery lower body, long, spiked legs carrying it fast as it thrust it's torso in Erin's direction.

Erin managed to leap to the side in time to avoid getting stung as she jumped through the air, kicking the thing in the side of the head, making it reel back and shriek as a secondary maw opened up on it's abdomen, letting out a pained roar as the Skull Kid's giggling echoed through the air.

"Ooh, you've got to be careful around **Driddha-Gohma, the Forest Furie**." He commented dryly as Princess Zelda pulled out her bow, loosing an arrow that struck the beast in it's shoulder, Navi soaring over Erin's shoulder.

"_Listen_. You need to aim for the eye. Get in close and whack it."

"Oooooh, I wouldn't listen to her, if I were you." Skull Kid laughed. "She works for Farore. Don't you know what fairies do?"

"Of course I do! They're helpful spirits to the Kokiri!" Erin insisted, clenching her fist as Princess Zelda dodged a wad of acidic spittle from the beast.

"Not exactly, ma'am." The Skull Kid said, shaking his head back and forth as he sat in a nearby tree limb. "Fairies are very mischievous. She's here to take your powers by any means necessary. She'd even drink your blood or rob you of your mind in order to get your powers!"

"She wouldn't do that." Erin said. "Farore entrusted her to HELP us."

Navi inwardly sighed, looking down on Erin, hesitant and unsure.

"Come on, Navi, help us beat this thing." Erin insisted as Zelda jumped away from the Driddha-Gohma's spiked legs as it tried to impale her. "How can I beat it?"

"Truth is...well...attacking the eye will only stun it. There's a way to defeat it totally though." Navi admitted. "...letting it eat you." She said, bobbing slightly in the air.

"Heh-heh-heh." The Skull Kid chuckled, seeing Erin's face turn pale. "Still believe she's a friend of yours?"

Erin was quiet for a few moments as Navi hovered overhead, Zelda dancing away from the beast. Her mouth was dry...so very, very dry...

"Yes." She spoke quietly, a smile spreading across her face. "I'm just a little scared, is all." She insisted, rushing forward and leaping towards the Driddha-Gohma's abdomen as it had it's back turned to her, forcing the mouth open. "SMILE, YOU SONOFA!" She yelled, diving inside.

There was a momentary pause as Zelda GAPED in surprise, the Driddha-Gohma just standing there, stupidly blinking as it looked down, seeing a large BULGE in the center of her stomach. She gaped down at it for a moment...

And then...began to glow.

A moment later that glow became a full-on burst of light as she EXPLODED into a million pieces, Zelda being knocked to the ground, unconscious, the Skull Kid being tossed far, far away as Navi hovered high overhead, out of range as Erin fell to the ground, covered in slime and muck that slowly vanished along with the remains of the thing as it's "spirit" hovered in the air for a moment before diving through the woods, a whispy brownish/green breath.

Navi sighed and slowly floated down to the unconscious Erin's form, a mournful air around her. "I AM sorry." Navi spoke quietly. "...but I've got my orders. I don't REALLY want to actually hurt you, but if you do this, you'll be that much closer to destroying the Goddesses."

She knelt closer to Erin, descending towards her neck. "I wish I could say I feel sorry for doing this to Zelda, but I was always rather jealous of her ancestor. You, though...you're an innocent in this. I'll make sure you feel nothing...be **proud, **child." The fairy crooned. "Your power will rest in this vessel..."

She came closer...

And closer...


	23. Chapter 23

**CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE**

"Family?" Nick asked, scratching his head as Emperor Tachyon steepled his claws together, smiling in a calm, benign fashion.

"Tell me...what is your family life like? I've heard snippets of your interactions with certain members...specifically your BROTHER...ahhh, yes, I know what it's like to have an annoying brother in your life." The cragmite trailed off into something of a snarling hiss.

"...well...my parents divorced. It sucked." Nick said honestly. "...actually, it sucked a **LOT**. You don't 'get over' something like that with time." He said, his own voice trailing off into a hurt whimper as a familiar hollow pit in his soul welled up.

"That's quite wise, my boy. You **DON'T** . Nor do you get over, say, finding out that you were ADOPTED by people who actually HATED your kind. And that..." Tachyon swept up to Nick, arm draped over one shoulder as he held one hand high. "Is what I discovered as wee little dibbun."

"Okaaaay..." Nick mumbled nervously as Tachyon swept a hand in the air.

"Allow me to paint you a picture of a young, scared little ME, surrounded by creatures that didn't look anything like me but insisted I was their family, their son. Born from an egg they had found in a mining expedition, I was raised by the Lombaxes and lived a fairly happy, if not slightly confused childhood for a decade or so until...well...I made a little discovery..."

...

...

...

...Percival let out a long yawn, stretching his arms as he descended from the bunk bed to the red-carpeted floor of his bedroom. He really enjoyed his father building him that bunk bed, there was something oddly...empowering...about sleeping high in the air. About being in a tall place. Heck, his father's home was at the top of an enormous hill by a great observatory/laboratory , overlooking all.

Best view of the whole planet!

Scratching the red keratin crest atop his head he made his way to his closet, leaping up and tugging it open, being thrown across the room as usual by the effort and smacking into the wall once again. Sighing, he brought himself back up and approached the closet.

"Let's see...should I wear my white t-shirt or my white jacket? Do I want to wear a white headband today, or perhaps a white scarf for fashion's sake?...I know." He snapped his claws. "I'll just close my eyes, reach in, and let luck guide me." He did just that, thrusting his hand into the closet and snatching ahold of a big vest-

"White. What a surprise." He mumbled, putting it on and exiting his bedroom, heading down a hallway filled with paintings created to imitate the many galaxies and quasars that his father had seen through his telescope. "Wish me luck today, mother." He told his adopted mother quietly, waving in her direction as he descended the stairs, heading out the door.

"Don't forget to...to thank your father for d-doing the laundry." His mother managed to giggle out, waving in his direction before quickly rushing into the kitchen, her pregnancy urges demanding that she treat herself to a very large bowl of sugar-coated Gorka Berries. 4 more months to go...

Today Percival was going to be helping his father doing what he'd been meaning to do AGES ago...

Clean out the space port garage.

"This place is a DUMP, father." Percival mumbled as he tossed several piles of mechanized scrap into a wheelbarrow and began to tug it out of the enormous garage, his father brushing back his ears to sigh deeply as he dusted off a dark tan/brown twin-point defensive fighter, allowing the custom gold-painted letters he'd inscribed on the cockpit to gleam proudly once again.

"I know, I know. It's a damn shame. But don't worry, we'll get it cleaned, many hands make light work."

"But there are only TWO of us." The little Cragmite commented, tilting his head to the side as he reentered the garage with his wheelbarrow.

His father beamed proudly and rapped the ship on the side, and with that it began to hover in the air, beeping and pinging as a shimmering greenish/blue tractor beam began to lift discarded boxes up into the air and carry them outside with the rest of the trash. "THREE of us. I never really introduced you to her before since she's been in need of a clean-up for ages, but meet Aphelion. I built her when I was your age, actually, right after my steam-powered vacuum cleaner."

Percival snorted with laughter. "Hey, it worked for a few weeks." His father laughed in protest as Percival made his way over to another pile of discarded boxes which were located by a shelf filled with various pictures of his father standing by Aphelion in a space port or at a canyon, several other Lombaxes standing nearby. One caught his attention...a very pale, white and red-furred Lombax with deep, almost sad eyes.

"Who is he?"

"Ah. That's Alister Azimuth. He actually named my ship "Aphelion". He thought naming my defensive fighter after the point in the orbit of a planet or comet where it's farthest from the Sun was more poetic than the "Kadenator-2000"."

"He was right." Percival insisted.

"He and I used to skip classes together. We'd take Aphelion to the Krell Canyon and go hoverbooting around..." Memory clouded his father's eyes as he trailed off for a moment, becoming lost in thought. "In fact, I'll be seeing him at work today at the Research center, he said he had some new modification for my Omniwrench..."

As Aphelion hovered back into the garage, an idea came to Percival. A desire he'd had for quite some time.

"Father, ah...could I...take Aphelion out for some flying today?" He asked nervously. "I'd like to just...get used to flying a spaceship. I mean, I've never even been off Fastoon..."

This was true. However, Tachyon was REALLY interested in getting off Fastoon not for the sake of seeing outer space for the first time, as pleasant as that would be, but for the sake of finding IRIS.

IRIS...she was the galaxy's greatest supercomputer which, happily, was spending the week in the Polaris Galaxy only a few light-years from Fastoon. IRIS knew anything and everything, and Tachyon WANTED to know about his kind.

"Well..." His father rubbed his chin. "Aphelion, what do you think?"

"Oh, I've no problem with it." The spaceship said, surprising the little Cragmite as his eyes widened.

"You TALK?"

"Yes, I talk. I do MANY things." She told him proudly. " But you have to promise not to break anything."

"Oh don't worry, I won't drive into anyone's house." Percival said dismissively.

"I'm not talkin' about no houses."

"Okay "mommy", I won't drive into anyone's ship."

"I'm not talkin' about the ship. I'm talkin' about YOU, little man."

Percival grumbled under his breath in irritation and wondered if he could, when he was old enough to inherit the ship, scrap it as a toilet and sell it to the Intestinons of Flatulon 5.

But, needless to say, his father said yes. And for a few hours, he was lost in the sheer beauty of the entrancing space around him, gazing upon the stars and Fastoon in awe, eyes widening as Aphelion took the scenic route towards IRIS.

"You really ARE a newbie to all this, aren't you? You know your daddy had the same reaction when he first saw space." Aphelion said in a gentle tone. "Truth be told, he went to IRIS as HIS first stop in space too. Of course, he was trying to look up interstellar colleges that had a high population of hot female teens, but still..."

"And I assume he met some?"

"Oh he got a suite-mate that kept passing notes under his door. A real nerd. He told me she was quite different from what he expected...but he married her anyway." Aphelion added with a slight chuckle.

"She's gonna give birth soon." Percival said wistfully. "I'm gonna have a brother. A real **brother**...and I want to be able to explain to him why I don't look the way mother and father do. It feels like..."He clenched his claws slightly in the air, sighing. "Like there's a huge part of me that's missing, cut out. Mother and father never told me about the Cragmites no matter how often I asked. So I'm going to find out from IRIS."

Aphelion, had she a body, would have gulped nervously. She KNEW about the Cragmites. But she didn't want to let Percival know that she knew.

"Percival...listen. You might not like...what you find out." She warned him softly as the goliath supercomputer IRIS came into sight, floating like a metallic sun...

...

...

...

... "She was quite right, of course. What should I discover but that the Lombaxes were responsible for removing my entire race from the galaxy! The only reason I survived was because my people had had the foresight to hide me as an egg on a far away comet." Tachyon finished, striding away from Nick and angrily clenching his clawed fists tightly, body shaking with rage before he waved his hands in the air, his tone becoming mocking.

"Ooh, lookit the mighty Lombax race! We just rid the universe of all the Cragmites in the galaxy and stuffed them in an alternate dimension! But we found this one and decided to take care of it because HEY!" He slammed his spidery legs down onto the floor, making Nick jump as the cragmite's tone rose in fury and hysterics. "WE'RE NOT **MONSTERS**!"

Nick blinked in surprise. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Perry. The Lombaxes had clearly hated the Cragmite race, and to try and alleviate the guilt they'd felt for essentially exiling an entire species to some unknown and dangerous dimension they'd try to atone for national guilt through individual action by raising the only member of his species left.

It was much like Americans adopting Vietnamese babies during the Vietnam War. Yes, the children needed homes but it was a way to ease your conscience as well, to say "Yes, I know my neighbors children are blowing up Vietnamese babies even as we speak but hey, look, I'm taking care of one like it's my own flesh and blood! My hands are clean!"

"Well. I decided to take the Golden Rule and **apply** it. To treat them the way they had treated my kind." The angry Emperor went on, turning around to smile devilishly at Nick. "I spent half a decade out in space, preparing myself and gathering my power. I changed so much that by the time I returned, they didn't even recognize me until it was too late...by then I'd laid waste to all of their planet and forced THEM to escape into an alternate dimension! Well, all save for a few, like Ms. Cross..."

Nick suddenly spoke up, stepping forward. "Wait, if you hate Lombaxes, why is Angela working for you? Why haven't you, like, thrown her out of an airlock or something?" He wanted to know.

The cragmite's smile was the work of demons. "There are...sweeter ways...of getting revenge." He spoke calmly. "I thought of a new purpose for her species after I captured her. She allowed herself to be taken in exchange for amnesty for the one who'd been protecting her, and I decided to put her to good use...but enough of her and I...let us speak of YOU."

"Me?" Nick asked, pointing at himself.

"Yes. You and your friends have the power to enter alternate realities. I want you to find the one that the Lombaxes have entered. I would have asked Marian, but she, regrettably, became far too weakened by simply getting ME out of the dimension I had been trapped in earlier. I want justice for what they did to my kind."

"...I need to talk this over with my friends." Nick said, holding one hand up. "They deserve to know the whole story."

"That's perfectly acceptable, Mr. Grey." Tachyon said calmly. "In fact, I'm willing to let you deal with our annoying friend Dr. Andross first before we discuss my plans. I know you're concerned about leaving this galaxy at risk with someone like him running around, and I'm a very CONSIDERATE man."

"I have good news, Emperor." Angela's voice echoed over the communications system. "We have arrived at Venom."

"Speak of angels and hear the rustle of their wings." Nick mused to himself, a smile on his face as Tachyon escorted him to his friend's quarters. "Can I ask you why you dislike Andross so? I get the feeling that it's personal."

"He stole my tater-tots in the cafeteria." Tachyon mumbled balefully. "He BLEW UP my laboratory and did UNSPEAKABLE things to my bedsheets."

"...oh, geez, man, I'm sorry."

"They used to be white. VERY, VERY white!"

"Is EVERYONE in E.G.O that petty and shallow and-"

"You have _NO_ idea." Tachyon insisted as Nick headed inside his friend's rooms, the emperor returning to his command deck.

Meanwhile, Star Wolf had already left in new and improved Wolfen Fighters courtesy of Tachyon's very advanced technology and were flying through Venom airspace, bringing up Tachyon on their communications relay. "These babies handle like a DREAM." Wolf admitted. "I have to admit, I'm very impressed, sir."

"Oh yes, you're getting your money's worth, I imagine?" Tachyon mused, giggling evilly. "If you run into him first, do say "hi" to Andross for me. And by "Hi" I mean excessive plasma blasts to the face-"

"What devilry is THIS?" Andross's ugly mug roared out, popping onto the communications relay screen, now sharing it with a surprised Tachyon and Star Wolf. "How dare you change sides on me!"

"We're mercenaries. It's what we do." Star Wolf said simply. "Now, ta-ta."

"Wait, uh, what's he paying you?"

"TONS."

"5 million dollars each!"

Little dollar signs appeared in Wolf's eyes as the rest of Star Wolf began chuckling evilly. "Well...I suppose we can rethink our contract, then..."

"Uh, I...er..." Tachyon stammered. "7 million dollars for a place in my fleet!"

"Oooh! I DO like the sound of that. Lucky seven..." Pigma chuckled.

"Ahhh, Tachyon. Myyy friend." Wolf said happily.

"10 million dollars for a place in my fleet!" Andross barked out.

"You ain't MY friend!" Andrew snapped at Tachyon, pumping his fist into the air with a whoop.

"Oh, Andross, how could we have ever abandoned you?" Leon mused.

Then Wolf suddenly realized just what he was doing and he angrily slammed his fist into his chair. "That's it!" He roared. "FORGET it! We're gonna take Star Fox down. But it AIN'T gonna be for Andross. It'll be for US! For what they did to us! For what they did to ME!" Wolf snarled as he shut off the communications channel with Andross and Tachyon. "All aircraft, listen up! When we see Star Fox...SHOOT TO KILL!"

...

...

...

... "This is it." Fox said as the Great Fox lead the frontal assault of the Cornerian Fleet, approaching the toxic, greenish-black-clouded planet Venom. His arwing soared through the air as he took in the devastated landscape, dying, barren, foul and unnatural. "...we're here, at Venom. All we've been through...all of it, leading up...to this."

"Andross has devastated many planets." General Pepper informed them all. "But no more. It stops here."

"Andross...SAY...YOUR...PRAYERS." Fox growled, his muzzle becoming split with fury and cockiness as he and his teammates made their way across the blast-ridden plains of Venom, the Cornerian Fleet's fighters soaring alongside them. They made their way over a circular enemy base by some tall sniper towers, quickly taking out the Venominian forces within.

Unfortunately, that's when it all went wrong.

"Don't get TOO cocky, Star Fox!" Wolf's voice laughed over the communications channel as he and Star Wolf's new fighters soared out towards them.

"Let's see how you handle our new ships?" Leon mused, chuckling coldly.

"Too bad dad's not here to see you FAIL, Fox!" Pigma cackled.

"We'll make sure you never even REACH Andross!" Andrew proudly proclaimed.

"We'll just see about that, Star Wolf." Fox mumbled balefully as he spun his ship around a sniper tower, the Cornerian Fleet wisely taking off to handle the main Venominian forces and clear most of the way. "I can't believe I'm saying this again...but let's take care of these guys first!"

"You guys don't give UP, do you?" Falco said, rolling his eyes as he maneuvered his ship in a diagonal sweep, quickly escaping a lock on from Leon's upgraded Wolfen Fighter. "You know, there's persistence and then there's just plain being freakin' ANNOYING!"

"Give it up!" Andrew taunted Slippy as he dodged the toad's plasma fire from the arwing. "You can't win!"

"He's quite right, dear bird. It is...hopeless." Leon told Falco over the communications channel as he carefully moved his Wolfen almost on TOP of the poor avian sapient. Falco quickly did a somersault, managing to avoid being blasted as he frowned.

"Yeah, I see you got new ships. Nice paint job. Does it come in hetero?" He laughed.

"Wh-what how DARE you!" Leon snarled angrily, twisting his ship around. "I'm!...I'M NOT!"

"Not that there's anything wrong with that." Slippy added politely.

"Can't say much for the paint job, but these upgraded plasma turrets on their ships are annoying!" Peppy admitted as he maneuvered his ship to safety, spinning out of the line of fire as Pigma guffawed.

"Oh please, Peppy! You can't beat me! I've got a better ship!"

"They need help." Jigglypuff insisted to General Pepper nervously. It was bothering her to just leave them behind for some reason. It might have been because, hey, after getting drunk and dancing on the tables in the Great Fox, she'd bonded with the sapients. Plus, it was hard not to like Fox, he was a very handsome-

_Oh my_, she realized, her tiny stubby arms going to her mouth. "...er...we...we should stay behind and help."

"That won't be necessary." A familiar voice laughed over the communications channel as Jigglypuff and General Pepper saw Samus and the others make their way past the Great Fox, flying in as their own fighter, a variant of the "Star Explorer" fighter class which soared through the air.

"Thank you GOD." Jigglypuff prayed.

"This thing comes with all the options." The bounty hunter told the rest of them as they all crowded tightly together in the back of the ship. "Two high-power fusion laser cannons, auto-lock multi-torpedo missile launchers, , Triple-Boost Acceleration Drive, Ultra-Charge Shielding and a hyperspace warp drive."

"Plus a nice red paint job." Nick managed to get out, his face squished up to the top of the fighter's roof window.

"Yes, that too." Samus added, shrugging slightly.

"OW! Pikachu, your tail's friggin' SHARP! Put that thing AWAY!" Kirby yelled as they all struggled around, bodies crammed together, smushed up like some giant set of hands had shoved them into the cockpit after crunching them into a ball.

"The world hates us." Alex decided. "And I apologize if I give you all fleas." He mumbled, his body now very visibly transformed. Fur was covering his entire body, his face now lupine in appearance with dark grey fur and sharp black fingernail/claws that kept scratching his body. "GAAAH! Itchy...so damn itchy!"

"Look, I should get out." Nick insisted.

"Don't be STUPID, kid." Samus snapped back at him as their fighter soared towards the dogfight between Star Fox and Star Wolf. "You can't BREATHE out there and you can't FLY."

Nick smirked. "Just eject me and trust me. I've got a plan."

Samus was quiet for a few moments.

"...well, Lady?" Nick asked softly.

"Everyone else, hold onto the ship. HARD." Samus ordered as Yoshi squeaked, Pikachu took a deep breath and Kirby "eeped", Alex's claws digging into the ship. Samus flipped the cap open on a small button on the control console, pressing the button as Nick pressed a few buttons on his watch.

THA-WHOOMP!

"WOOO-HOOOOO!" Nick howled as he soared through the air, clenching his fists, his body glowing brightly with strange silvery energy as it began to form something around him...

"Is that...**an F-14**?" Alex inquired as Nick laughed happily, singing along to the song that was now blasting out from his watch, soaring straight through Andrew's ship and cutting it totally in half.

"_**Hiiiiighwaaaaay toooo theeee Danger Zone! I'll take you riiiight intoooo theeee Danger Zone!"**_

"AAAAAAAA!" Andrew screamed, ejecting from his burning ship as the other Star Wolf fighters gaped in surprise at this newcomer.

"What in the heck!"

"You don't START none, there won't BE none, Wolf!" Nick yelled out as he soared his fighter through the air, Fox flying alongside him.

"You tryin' to crash my rumble?" Fox laughed, saluting Nick from his cockpit.

"Just ridin' sidecar, maverick!" Nick insisted, saluting with his pointer and middle finger as Star Fox then grouped together, Samus's fighter ship now shooting down Pigma's ship, the fat pig squealing for his life as he ejected, Samus's well-aimed torpedos blasting his fancy new ship into shrapnel.

"This can't be happeniiiiiing!" Pigma howled in denial as Leon and Wolf's ships flew alongside each other, right after the other ships.

"...you know what?" Fox told Wolf over the communications channel. "...you're just not worth it." He told Wolf. "You're a DISTRACTION. It's ANDROSS that's the big fish, not you. I'm through with you, Wolf. THROUGH with you and your attitude."

With that, he did a quick somersault, maneuvering his arwing in the direction of Andross's main base, Wolf gaping as he took off. "What the HECK?" Wolf snapped.

"FOOOX!" Slippy called out, eyes widening. "...Fox..." He whispered softly.

"No way! I don't believe it!" Wolf snarled furiously. "I DON'T **BELIEVE** IT!"

"Oh, don't feel too bad. We're more than a match for you." Peppy insisted as he and Slippy aimed their lasers at Leon with Falco quickly firing off a batch of plasma blasts of his own.

"Think you're clever, eh?" Leon snarled. "Well, I'll take care of YOU the same way Andross took care of Zoness."

Falco stiffened in his chair, a horrified expression coming to his features. "...what...did...you...say." He muttered out darkly, dangerously.

"Oh, you didn't KNOW? Zoness is now a WASTE DUMP. I'd almost forgotten!" Leon chuckled. "Did it not use to be your home?"

Leon wheeled his ship around in a quick turn, racing after the three as they took off through the Venominian air...

Quickly splitting up in three different directions, leaving Leon's ship on a crash course right into a sniper tower.

"They're...too strooooong!" Leon howled as he ejected, Wolf being left alone as Samus's ship pelted his with plasma fire.

"..._Zoness_..._no_..." Falco whispered softly, placing his hands to his face and shaking his head back and forth.

"You're good." Wolf admitted with a dark grin, suddenly making his Wolfen fighter somersault and leveling a series of powerful blasts at her ship. "But I'm BETTER."

"This mercenary doesn't fool around!" Samus grunted, gripping the controls tightly. "Almost makes me miss the cocky Space Pirates..."

_**Out along the edges, always where I burn to be...  
The further on the edge, the hotter the intensity!**_

"Hey! A true gentleman **never** hits a lady!" Nick yelled, Wolf looking up, his singular eye bugging out as he saw Nick furiously glaring down at him, flying his plane upside-down overhead. "See how YOU like it!"

_**Hiiiiighwaaaaay toooo theeee Danger Zone! **_

_**Gonna take you riiiight intoooo theeee Danger Zone!**_

With an angry roar, Nick SLAMMED his ship into the top of Wolf's ship, butting it over and over as the other fighters carefully veered away to get to safety.

_**Hiiiiighwaaaaay toooo theeee Danger Zone!**_

_**Riiiight intoooo theeee Danger Zone!  
**_

"You little-GAAAH! Stop it you little-"

KRAKKA-CRACK!

Nick's ship had broken the back of his Wolfen fighter, and he began to spin out of control, yelling angrily as he ejected, Nick re-righting his ship and flying alongside Samus and Star Fox, giving them a thumbs up.

"Not bad, huh?" He asked Peppy over the communications relay. "Especially since I can't fly worth a CRUD."

"Then how are you flying that thing?" Peppy asked.

"Oh, it's magic music. Cuz the song's playing, I...uh...oh." Nick suddenly realized that the volume was slowly lowering, the song coming to a halt. "Oh CRAP." He gulped.

The plane disappeared. Nick hovered in the air for a few minutes, looking around, blinking stupidly before he sighed. "Aw, _dang_." He got out as the poisonous gases set off a chain reaction in his body.

Making him explode.

"**NOOOOO**!" Pikachu screamed.

...

...

...

...there Navi was...poised to take Erin's life away.

And yet, as she came closer and closer to the young woman, she realized she...

"I can't do it." She murmured. "...I can't kill someone who put their trust in me so purely..."

She shook back and forth in midair and then descended to Erin's face, whacking her cheeks. "Wake up!" the little blue fairy demanded. "C'mooon! Please, you MUST wake up!"

"Just a few more minutes, Daddy." Erin mumbled, slowly rising up and rubbing her eyes as Navi ascended away a few feet, the red-headed young woman yawning broadly. "Navi? What's going on? The Master Sword, where-"

There it was, in the pedestal, untouched and for the taking. Erin beamed and quickly raced over to Zelda, kneeling by the Hylian princess and shaking her awake. Blinking her blue eyes, Zelda stood back up as Navi hovered over the Master Sword pedestal, Zelda approaching it with wariness.

"We are...free to take it now?" She asked Navi.

"Yes." Navi said gently. "...you are."

"We appreciate your assistance, fairy." Zelda said, curtsying before the fairy and bowing deeply, Erin quickly following suit as a visible red blush came to Navi's form.

"Awww, I...I do not know what to SAY, I...I thank you." Navi admitted. "I really am glad to have met you two." She told them as Princess Zelda clasped the Master Sword in hand.

She removed it in a smooth, swift fashion, feeling it in her hands, quietly looking down upon it and simply taking in it's simple beauty and deadliness. The Blade of Evil's Bane...legendary weapon of the Hero of Time...a gift from the Goddesses themselves-

The Goddesses. Right, they had to get this to Link so that justice could be served. "We must return to the Temple of Time and find a new portal to another world." Zelda informed Navi as they headed back the way they'd come. "I hope Farore is there."

Well, actually, she WASN'T. Farore was discussing a few things with her sisters.

"I can't keep doing this." Farore insisted angrily, clenching her fists tightly and shaking her head back and forth as she, Nayru and Din stood together in the Temple of Time. "This is completely wrong! We're misleading the people of the land we're supposed to be protecting, we've lied to the descendants of the Hero of Time and the Princess Zelda...we're spitting in the face of everything we should be standing for!"

"Well of course you take the side of the Hero of Time." Nayru commented, rolling her eyes, waving a hand in a dismissive fashion in the air. "But if you're going to do it, it should be for reasons besides ones like "I just like him". Ones of higher nobility."

"Sisters, really, it doesn't matter if Link and the others return, we're Goddesses here and in ANY realm we enter. Our power is incredible." Din laughed, snapping her fingers as a flame danced around her hand. "Once we've defeated Zelda and Link, their Triforce pieces be ours again and we can use them to-"

"WHAT." Nayru snapped, suddenly whipping her head towards Din, mouth opening wide for a moment as she adjusted the small glasses on the bridge of her nose. "...that's what this is all about? You're simply after the TRIFORCE?" She angrily gripped the glasses and crushed them in her hands, making Farore gasp in surprise at this sudden display of raw emotion. "This is not amusing! Link and Zelda happen to be the only ones who are able, at the moment, to defeat the forces threatening this land, we can only open PORTALS to other realms, we can't actually enter them!"

"So what? Let the dark forces come. We shall smite them all." Din proclaimed, putting one hand on her chest.

"They outnumber us and some of them are JUST as powerful as us." Farore told her sister, shaking her fist in the dark-skinned goddesses face. "This isn't funny! You're making this personal, this...this stupid quest for power!"

"I can't help it if I prefer the company of Ganondorf over Link or Zelda, he's of a far more honest and less repressed nature than those two...anal retentive idiots who obsess over how many keys a dungeon has or what language such and such a race speak instead of things that MATTER-" Din sneered.

"Oh yeah? Well to borrow a worldview from my sister, I enjoy the company of Link and Zelda far more than I enjoy being around YOU." Nayru hissed, putting her hands on her hips and pursing her lips.

"Oh REALLY?" Din muttered, raising one eyebrow.

"Their ways...the ways of old, the way we ONCE did things were more admirable, were safer, more structured. They represent a way of life that we threw aside, perhaps too quickly."

"BAH."

"Do know what those two gave me? **A home clean of REDEAD.**" Nayru went on, jabbing her finger in Din's face. "You know what YOU gave me? A case of first-degree **FRATRICIDE**."

"But you hated your brother. Didn't you yourself say that women are more composed and logical in leadership roles than men?" Din inquired.

"Just admit it. You suggested we kill off our brothers because the Triforce thought they were better than you!" Farore said, folding her arms, eyes glittering like dark emeralds as Zelda and Erin and Navi hid behind some shrubbery in the distance.

"What the hell is THAT supposed to mean?" Din snarled angrily, small tiny flames rising off her body like beads of sweat.

"BETTER. THAN. YOU. Lemme think. Hmm." Farore put a finger to her lip, then held up her hands like she was a scale, trying to balance out the choices. "The would-be genetic source of the noble Gerudo people who was proud, kind-hearted and honorable, or a hot-tempered, rebellious little snot. Yeah, I'll bet it was a TOUGH decision for the Triforce. I mean, at least I KNEW that my brother was a good choice: he cared, he cared far more than even I did, I didn't even TRY to pretend I was better than him any more than Nayru tried to pretend she was smarter than HER brother!"

"Wow, who knew Goddesses came with **baggage**?" Erin whispered as they slunk through the bushes, headed towards an open portal, the same portal that Farore had first opened for Link, the goddesses now getting into a vicious argument, hair being pulled, faces being scratched, screams of rage and pain echoing through the Temple of Time.

...

...

...

...Nick awoke to find himself sitting near Alex, looking up at the others, General Pepper standing by Samus as the rest of Star Fox stood around. They'd moved him to the medical bay in the Great Fox and the youth had a pounding headache. He rubbed it, moaning as he slowly stood up. "What's...what's goin' on? Where's Fox?"

"...Fox took off into the base alone." Peppy murmured. "But at the moment we have more...unpleasant...things to worry over."

"What sort of unpleasant things?" Nick asked, nervously gulping as the others looked out the window, Nick nervously glancing out as well.

Andross...in all his ugly glory was just a giant floating HEAD with two thick, powerful hands that had strange yellow/black panels bared on the palms. The giant head roared and beat an invisible chest as it proudly proclaimed how useless it was to oppose him.

"...we need to take care of this." Kirby said.

"That thing's hands are a big weak spot." Slippy said. "I've analyzed it thoroughly, but...we're afraid to fire on it because if we did so, the explosion would take out the whole base with Fox inside. We need to draw it away, and since, well, you can't die, we were wondering if you could help us out?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll be happy to-" Nick began, trying to pull the blanket he had atop him away, suddenly noticing something. "What the?"

He felt all over his body. "...no acne...no...no chest hair...my arms and legs, smaller and...less hairy...voice hasn't cracked, I...I'm..."

"You look just like when I first met you." Pikachu said warmly, getting up on the bed and patting the preteen Nick Grey on the shoulder. "...you look very good, Nick-Kun."

"This is embarrassing." Nick said, blushing. "But being in this form DOES have it's advantages." He admitted. "I'll do whatever I can to help, General Pepper!" He said, jumping off the bed and saluting. "But I'm gonna need the guys to help." He added, gesturing at his team.

"You've got a plan?" Samus inquired, looking intrigued.

Nick laughed. "Just flyin' by the seat of my pants. And speakin' of flying..."

SOME TIME LATER...

"Come out, Star Fox!" The gigantic Andross Head roared out, floating around Venom as the Cornerian Fleet fighters hovered out of reach of the great head. "It's useless to deny me! Only I control the Lylat Galaxy!"

"We will risk EVERYTHING to deny you!" General Pepper roared out as Peppy flew the Great Fox squarely into the back of the great thing's head, knocking it through the air. It whipped towards them as Nick stood on the top of the structure, getting into a defiant stance with the rest of his friends.

"We're not here for a chat, Andross." Nick said. "We're here because...it's ROUND ONE..."

With that, he clenched his fists, and all of reality seemed to twist and bend, taking on a mirage-like haze as Nick jumped back, letting the others rush forward as he pressed a few buttons on his watch, a heroic, sci-fi theme playing that seemed to boom in the ears of all present no matter how far away they were.

"Take this! **THUNDER!**" Pikachu yelled out, thrusting his fist into the air as a bolt of powerful lightning struck into the gigantic head, the thing's body spazzing out as it shook around, screaming angrily as Samus fired off her plasma buster at the thing over and over.

"Take this and this and this!" Yoshi yelled, launching eggs through the air as they cracked into the gigantic head, striking it like a harsh whip being thwacked across Andross's face, Kirby giddily laughing as he and Alex rushed forward together, Alex racing on all fours, growling eagerly.

"One..."

"Two..."

"THREE!" They launched themselves through the air, fists and claws flying, tearing and slashing into flesh as Alex howled, biting deep into Andross's nose as he knocked Kirby away like a pillow being tossed through the air, trying to grab ahold of Alex with his enormous hands.

Big mistake. This was what Alex had wanted, and he leapt off of Andross's nose, clawing and tearing at the ape's exposed palms...at their weak spot.

CRACKKA-THACK! One hand began to break apart into scraps of metal and circuitry as Alex leapt through the air, Samus catching him with a quick jump as Nick gasped. "JIMINY CHRISTMAS!" he yelled. "It's a MACHINE!"

"Then...where's the real Andross?" Pikachu wondered as Alex and he leapt at the other hand, Samus firing off a charged blast of plasma at "Andross's" right eye, making it blast to pieces.

Where indeed.

"Only I have the brains to rule the Lylat System." Andross telekinetically proclaimed as Fox's arwing hovered in an enormous dark expanse, looking upon Andross in all his disgusting "glory". He had long ago discarded his old flesh. No, now he was something else. A gigantic, pulsing, pinkish/grey brain with electrically-charged tentacles hovering beneath like some demonic jellyfish, two bulging, foul red pupil eyes glaring at Fox and his ship.

"So, Andross." Fox spoke softly. "...you show your **true** form."

"You will die just like your FATHER!" Andross roared, launching the eyes forward at Fox as they sparkled with electricity, the foul scientist cackling as Fox maneuvered his arwing out of the way.

"Your sense of humor is as bad as your idea of what "true power" is, Andross!" Fox snapped, blasting away at the eyes as he swerved the arwing left and right to avoid being caught in their electrical waves. Quickly spinning his ship away to avoid one of them slamming into him, he did a somersault, Andross gasping in surprise.

"What the heck!"

"Heh, you guys are ALWAYS surprised by that." Fox mused, firing off a bomb. It hit true, striking the eyes squarely on target. With a squelchy, meaty sound, the thing exploded as Andross snarled angrily, Fox firing at the brain...doing nothing. The plasma just seemed to be absorbed into it. "What the blazes!"

"I am...invincible, boy. Did you think I designed my final form so easy to defeat?" Andross laughed, his tentacles snapping out to whack Fox away as Fox yelled, stabilizing the arwing and making it swoop overhead as he noticed something on his pass above...

The cerebellum...it was of a different color than the main brain region, it was...greenish and...weak-looking.

"GOTCHA." Fox laughed, whipping down and blasting away at the cerebellum, the evil Andross growling in pain as it began to suddenly excrete brownish orbs from the cerebellum. Fox blinked in surprise as his ship veered away, not wanting to touch them. "What in-you **disgusting**-"

KRAKKA-THROOOM! They exploded, making Fox frown. "Mines, huh? Well, two can play at that game. See how you like a bomb to the back of the head!" He roared out diving through the air and aiming.

His aim was true, and Andross began to pulse with electrical energy, sparkling and sizzling as he howled in denial. "NO! If I go down...I'M TAKING YOU **WITH** ME!" he roared.

Bright white light exploding out, swallowing his arwing...

"**AAAAAAAAAAAA**!" Fox screamed.

"Kung F—ker Chicken, what does it take to BEAT this crazy thing?" Nick yelled as his friends pounded away at the robotic skull of the Andross clone, all that was left a bony, mocking yellow-eyed cranial cavity that hysterically screamed, trying to bite at them with it's choppers.

"Hey, don't feel bad, your attacks are doing two things: jack and s—t!" Falco laughed. "Come on, think outside the box!"

"...or rather...INSIDE." Alex mused, an idea coming to him. "Throw me at it, puffball." He told Kirby.

"What?"

"THROW ME you bloody idiot!" Alex demanded, snarling as spit flew from his fang-filled maw, fur bristling.

"A fastball special it is!" Kirby decided, grabbing ahold of Alex and tossing him straight through the air at the thing.

GA-GULP.

General Pepper gaped. "...What..."

Jigglypuff gulped. "The..."

Peppy's word was unsuitable for print.

Then...

The thing's head suddenly was ripped open from within, Alex giving out a long, loud howl, oil coating his body, thick and slimy as he roared, the top of the thing's head now slashed open from the inside as it began to descend from the sky, Alex leaping back onto the Great Fox, pumping his chest and howling in victory as the enormous robotic head hit the ground, shattering into chunks of metal as Alex grinned darkly.

"That..." He mused. "That felt good."

Suddenly Slippy, who had been keeping an eye on the main base of Andross, gasped in horror. "I just detected something on the thermal scanners!" He hollered out over the intercom system. "Something big inside the base just EXPLODED!"

"The real Andross..." Nick realized.

"FOX..." Falco whispered.

"Fox..." Peppy murmured.

"Fox..." Slippy whimpered.

"...Fox..."

"...Fooooox..."

"...F-Father?"

Fox found his arwing was unharmed. Not merely that...his father was soaring in front of him as the two ships soared out of Andross's base through the labyrinthine passageways.

"Don't ever give up, my son." James McCloud said gently, his face appearing over the communications relay, his signature sunglasses glittering proudly. "Follow me, Fox."

Fox could scarcely believe it. As he piloted after his dad, it all seemed to be something out of a dream...but the burning heat of the exploding base was all too real. No, this was life or death, and his father was saving his life.

"Never give up, son. Trust your instincts."James added as the two ships soared alongside each other.

"It's...it's really you." Fox murmured softly. "...Dad..." He whispered. "...DAD..."

The sight of fresh air was only a few yards ahead. He saw his father smile at him.

"You've become so **strong**, Fox." James told his son, grinning proudly. "I couldn't be prouder of you."

And with that, he was out...flying alongside the Great Fox, the others cheering and clapping their hands as his friends's voices comforted him.

"YAAAAAY!" Slippy cheered. "You're back! Way to go, Fox!"

"Fox, you're okay!"

"You sly dog! THAT'S our leader!" Falco insisted.

Fox smiled nervously, looking around through the skies. He was positive he'd seen his father's arwing soaring off into space overhead just a few moments ago...

"What is it? What's wrong, Fox?" Peppy saked, seeing Fox's confused expression.

"...nothing." Fox said happily.

It was enough, he decided. Even if he was the only one who knew...

It was enough.

Nick, descending back into the Great Fox with the others as Fox parked his ship in the hangar bay, smiled as he held his hands behind his back, rubbing one arm. Fox and the others had been through so, so much...they deserved this. They'd wanted it so badly, and Fox...

Nick thought back to something that his stepmother had said. _"Sometimes God'll give you what you pray for, and sometimes he won't. But if he does...he's gonna make sure you REALLY appreciate it."_

Fox definitely appreciated it, Nick mused to himself as the sapient embraced his friends happily. Even if nobody else knew the truth...he could tell...

Fox knew his father was still alive, somewhere out there.

And this...

This was enough.


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**

"Falco, be reasonable." Fox insisted as the others nervously stood around the Great Fox's hangar bay, Falco tossing his things into the back trunk of his respective arwing. He was clearly livid, you might as well have seen steam rising out of his ears. Had he been holding a cup of water, they were positive it would have been boiling before their eyes.

"Let me tell you what was "reasonable". Reasonable would have been going to Zoness. Reasonable would have been saving my planet!" Falco snapped back at Fox, spit practically flying through the air as Nick lowered his head in shame, the rest of Star Fox standing by the mournful-looking Fox McCloud.

When they'd beaten Andross and had returned to the Great Fox, Nick had decided to ask "Perry" to tell them just what exactly had happened to the planet Zoness, Falco Lombardi's home. Trying not to get irritated anew at being called Perry, the Cragmite had decided to do them one better and had led them straight TO Zoness.

Which was now a stinking, slimy ball of pus floating in space. It looked like one of God's boogers left to hang in the dark abyss, foul-smelling, ugly and slimy. The once-pristine seas of Zoness were pea soup, fouled up with gunk and slimy trash that Andross had dumped. It had one been a pristine Vacation spot. Flying fish would have soared alongside cruise ships, glimmering like little rainbows highlighted in a crystal-blue sky.

They still soared. But now it was AT the ships, mouths now filled with fangs, mutated and foul like the rest of the planet. Vegetation that was nightmarish in scale and nature, choking and almost dwarfing the planet that spawned it...

This had been Falco's home.

Now...it was trash.

"I'm certain General Pepper will begin cleaning-" Fox tried to say.

"He never should have NEEDED to clean it up! We should have been here sooner!" Falco snapped angrily. "I...I should have..." He trailed off then, his voice dropping an octave as his bdy momentarily shook and he covered his face with a feathery hand.

"Mr. Lombardi, I...might be able to...to bring it back with-" Nick began to nervously speak up.

"Kid...just...just don't talk to me right now." Falco mumbled. "...I need to be...**alone**...right now. I need...to go away and think this over. You do whatever the hell you want, I...I have to think some things through, okay?" He turned to Fox. "...don't try to stop me."

"...I won't." Fox said quietly, putting his hands in his pockets and shaking his head back and forth ever-so-slightly. "This is your choice and I'm not going to interfere with it. I'm just...sorry that it's come to this. Sorry that...that you're leaving."

"..." Falco walked past Fox, climbing into the cockpit as Fox looked up at him.

"You don't have to come back if you don't want to. But when you feel ready, we'll be waiting." Fox told him, a slightly pleading look visible in his eyes.

"...thanks." Falco muttered softly, nodding ever so-slightly in Fox's direction before the arwing rose up in the air with a slight roar, heading out into the empty depths of space.

"You do not easily get over something that hits so close to home." Emperor Tachyon mused as he stood by Angela, frowning slightly, a look upon his features like he was observing something else, a scene more personal. "...he might be gone for years."

"Well that just **sucks**." Jigglypuff commented. "Hey, at least you smashed Andross up."

"I hope that the others are having an enjoyable time. I am not taking any delight in this." Pikachu mumbled.

"How come? I mean, that nasty monkey's dead, and it's just one planet." Yoshi admitted. "I mean, they can rebuild it! They're gonna rebuild it!...right?" He looked around the hangar bay at the others, slightly pleading with his eyes. "...right?"

"...do you know who "Pyrrhus" was?" Samus asked Yoshi. "He was a Greek general from Epirus. Brilliant tactician. He fought against Rome in several battles and won, but he lost so many of his own that he might as WELL have lost. They call that a "pyrrhic victory"."

"It was one planet too many." Fox added. "...we can't do anything for Zoness. That's for General Pepper and the people of the planet to finish. However, if you're truly serious about the "Other worlds" thing you talked to us about, and I think you are, then this is bigger than just one planet or one galaxy. I'd be honored to come with you and help."

"But we first need to contact the others." Samus reasoned. "How will we-"

"I think that's taken care of!" Kirby said cheerily, pointing over to the far right as everyone turned to look at a swirling, glistening-white circular portal that showed off the unmistakable image of a futuristic city, with Mario adjusting his cap as he stood with the other team in front of a bar. Link was having a conversation with a member of a species that was rather..furry...that Nick thought looked slightly familiar, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"How are things over in the realm of one Mr. Douglas Jay Falcon of Mute City?" Samus wished to know as everyone crowded by the portal.

"Is not so good, Mr. Falcon is apparently a VERY big racer, always VERY busy, never staying in one place for too long. We have been tracking him two days and we always keep missing him!" Mario admitted, shrugging slightly. "But that is bad news. You want good news?"

"Well, yes." Alex asked, applying flea lotion to his body, wincing. He did NOT like being a werewolf. He had hair in places that weren't supposed to exist.

"Good news is he is participating in "F-Zero Grand Prix" race in three days. If we get a racer entered in contest, we'll have a first-hand chance to talk to him as racers, equals, not just fans wanting autographs." Mario explained. "We need to beat preliminary race, but we can do it. I'm very confident, Luigi and I are quite good at racing!" The Italian Plumber admitted, giving them all a thumbs up.

"Handy. It would be good to talk to him when he's not surrounded by eighteen dozen cameras and screaming fans. Win the preliminary, meet him in, say, his garage, explain the situation, and considering all of your appearances and powers, he might even believe you." Samus reasoned.

"And we'll head over too, to help you convince him." Fox added, saluting proudly. "I'm a fan of racing myself, I'd be happy to give you any information I know on vehicle specifications."

"That IS funny!" Link laughed in the background, turning away and gesturing at his new furry friend. "Hey, this Lombax has got the FUNNIEST jokes I've ever heard. See, there's this man who has this neighbor who believes in a God-"

Nick's eyes widened. Tachyon gasped. Angela gaped. "A LOMBAX!" They exclaimed.

"So THAT'S the dimension they hid away in." Samus whistled.

"Oh yes, the Lombaxes are very prevalent here in Mute City. In fact, this nice man named Mr. Trillium is going to be sponsoring this latest Grand Prix race." Mario added. "Link is right about the jokes, too, these guys are HYSTERICAL."

"Tell the one about the man named Skinner." Luigi asked the Lombax that was standing with them.

"Oh, that one's a bit too graphic for Mr. Link's ears." The Lombax insisted, gesturing at Link, who nodded in appreciation.

Tachyon and Angela, wisely, had moved out of sight and were conversing amongst themselves. Tachyon finally cleared his throat and turned to Nick, motioning for him to come over. Slightly worried, Nick stepped over to the Cragmite and his Lombax servant. "Yes?"

"I am quite thankful for you and your friends finding the dimension I'd been seeking. If you don't mind, could you...ah...bring THIS with you?" The Cragmite smiled, pulling out a cylindrical device and handing it to Nick as the human looked it over. What a strange thing, he mused to himself. There appeared to be small antennae sealed away within the device, and several beeping buttons on its' respective ends.

"What is it?"

"It will enable me to open a dimensional rift large enough for me to maneuver ships through." Tachyon said calmly. "I need you to place it at a high point, somewhere that won't involve me, say, crashing into a warehouse wall. A tall tower, a very high hill...a mountain, even...those will suffice."

"You...aren't going to hurt them are you?" Nick asked, frowning slightly, an angry tone rising in his voice. "I can't let you enter that dimension if innocent people will be hurt."

"I do not intend to KILL them, if that is what you are concerned about." Tachyon said honestly. "I shall not harm them. I didn't harm Angela, after all."

Nick blinked, looking back down at the device, then at Tachyon. Yes, Tachyon had a reason to be angry with the Lombaxes, but he was pretty sure that "justice" was not "vigilante actions against criminals by a grieving member of the family".

"I...dunno..." Nick mumbled.

"I was being honest when I said I would not harm them." Tachyon spoke solemnly.

That made Nick surprised. There wasn't so much as an ounce of dishonesty in the Cragmite's voice. He seemed to be telling the truth, at least, in his own way.

"Alright." Nick agreed. "If you don't intend to hurt them, if this is really about getting justice for what happened to your kind...I'll help." He turned to the others, pocketing the device. "Well, let's get going inside the portal."

"You know...his childlike form is quite cute." Tachyon admitted quietly to Angela, rubbing his chin before he recomposed himself. "Focus! Revenge scheme! Dear Lord, it's like somebody is playing classical music, I find myself wanting to pet people on the head again!"

"We should probably all stay very close to each other." Samus insisted, waving her hand in the air.

"So that we won't be picked on by prejudiced upper class society members in the city?" Pikachu mused.

"What? Nah. So we won't get straight-up-jacked." She informed him. "You would NOT believe how many idiots have tried to pickpocket me in cities just like that. Strength in numbers means a heavier wallet, Pikachu."

...

...

...

...we take you, true believer, to the picturesque Mute City. Home to a billion individuals, the "Information Link" of the entire galaxy, the most sophisticated and advanced city in the universe, helped along, apparently, by the technical prowess of the Lombax race.

The biggest thing you noticed upon entering Mute City were the signs. The glowing, floating, brightly lit neon signs. In fact, it was impossible NOT to notice them, they hovered through the air like doves, occasionally blinking, reading "Eat at Joes" or "Welcome to Mute City" or "Your Advertising Space Here". Located even higher above the towering structures of the city was an enormous racetrack held aloft by a softly glowing series of hover engines, dome-topped buildings hovering by this racetrack to provide onlookers with a first-hand view of the race to come.

And indeed, there WAS a race to come. Even now Mario and the others were walking into a garage to look over the car that their sponsor, named "Mr. Hand", ha-ha-ha, had sent to them through one of his many little "Acts of God". The garage doorway opening up for them automatically, they stepped into a brightly-painted blue room that was easily the size of Princess' Peach's main hall, with stacks and stacks of boxes filled with equipment rising to the roof by the-

"Momma Miaaaaaaa..." Mario murmured, looking over the stylized car before them. It had a set of white stripes running across it, with a streamlined front and a stylish red paint job. There was a large hand giving a thumb's up as a decal for the sides of the car, and a jet engine visible at the back, thrusters poking out, gleaming silver in the light of the garage like the stylized control system within the cockpit.

And best of all...a spaghetti-flavor deodorizer hanging from the rear-view-mirror.

"Now see? It's the little things that really show he cares." Mario told Luigi and Link as they examined it fully, the others looking around the garage as Fox looked at the back engines.

"Wow, he really shined it down. It's so clean I could eat off it." Fox admitted. "Though I think it could use a few...modifications...in terms of engine power."

"They have to be completely legal." Mario wanred. "Not "legal-ish"."

"Oh, I'm not Wolf." Fox insisted, waving his gloved hands in the air. "You'll have the finest modifications ready for you." He said as he snapped his fingers, Star Fox bringing him the duffel bags he'd ordered them to carry with them. He opened one up, holding up a blow torch, a protective mask and several metallic pieces of...something. "Let's go to work!" He told his team.

"This is a LOOOOT of mushrooms." Alex said, opening one of the boxes up and sniffing the insides.

"These are a LOT of shells. Can you imagine how many koopas are now walking around naked?" Yoshi asked Nick, holding up a purplish-toned spiked shell that made Nick think of-

"...oh God. OH GOD." Nick groaned, covering his eyes and howling. "I NEVER wanted to picture Bowser NAKED! Yoshi, WHY didja have to say that? OHHHHH." He sobbed.

"MY EYES! MY EYES!" Kirby screamed, scratching at his eyes. "Can't...scratch...afterimage out!"

"It's too bad we can't just meet with Mr. Falcon." Yoshi said, ignoring Kirby and Nick's wailing cries as they rushed to the bathroom to scrub their eyes out. "You really kept missing him every time you tried to get close?"

"He never stays in one place for very long." Link explained. "He kept travelling from bars to diners to people's homes."

"Who knows what it would take to get him to stay longer than a two hours?" Luigi moaned, throwing his hands in the air. "It doesn't help that we couldn't for the LIFE of us figure out how to use the rail ride system. We've got no cash that they'll take!"

"And, well, I've no jewels to pawn." Link added nervously, pulling at his collar.

"Don't worry, we'll be alright." Fox said as he stepped back from the engine. "Doesn't matter WHERE that "Mr. Falcon" is. This ride of ours is going to be so fast **everyone** will take notice."

...

...

...

...but where, indeed, WAS Captain Falcon?

"So there I was." A dirty-blond man in a blue racing suit insisted. It almost looked like a jumpsuit, save for the red belt separating the tight, armless shirt and the equally tight pants, all showing off his muscular, well-toned form as he held one red-gloved hand up in the air, swishing it back and forth as he explained his tale to several other races in a bar. "Neck-in-neck with the three!"

"Uh-huh..." Captain Falcon commented, sipping his beer, his own blue outfit finely polished. Indeed, his outfit was both racing suit AND flight armor, consisting of blue pants, blue form-fitting armor and a red helmet as well as a single blue steel pauldron shoulder pad on his right shoulder. His voice was oddly rough, but also knowledgeable. He seemed brash, but confident and, at the moment, bored with Jack Levin's tale.

"Wheel to wheel, razor-sharp chrome, gleaming in the dark, weapons bristling under rumbling hoods!" Jack went on, the yellow lightning bolt upon his chest gleaming as several other racers listened in. "But they didn't stand a CHAAAAAAANCE." He told them, holding a bottle of "Jack Levin Lightning Bolt" energy drink in his other hand.

"Yeah, cuz his hairstyle punctured their tires!" Erin giggled to herself, covering her mouth with her hands as she and Zelda sat in a nearby booth, Zelda dressed fairly "conservatively", a white shirt, blue, vaguely poofy pants and a belt and bracelets of brown with purple gems embedded in them. She was wearing two earrings to match, and was sipping some wine, Erin, luckily, had brought plenty of money.

"Heh-heh-heh. Do you believe that...that when he-he gets into...gets inside his vehicle, his...his hairstyle actually **pokes** through the top?" Zelda mused.

"Slowly the racers tried to circle me...the smell of fear lingering in the air. So I decided to LOSE the suckers, and launched myself over the half-blown bridge!" Jack went on. "I activated my boosters and POW, I was out of there and in time for the Jack Levin Fitness Hour. Yeah. Boy, I...love that show." Jack mumbled, taking a sip from his energy drink before looking down at it with vague disgust, something clearly bothering him. "Reminds me of the time I...knocked out some muggers with my "Jack Levin Sings the Hits" CD and Boombox combo in the back alley by my home..."

"My-my-my."

They turned their heads to see a red-haired young man with vaguely glowing blue eyes approach. He raised a cigarette to his mouth, lighting it, showing off a well-built chest and army cargo pants that were held up with a large-buckled belt. His hair fell down around his head in triangular patches, one fringe almost covering his eye as he spoke with a thoughtful yet slightly malevolent tone. "The job of a F-Zero Racer sounds quite dangerous." The being "spoke" through a thick black headband atop his forehead, a circular red dot glittering in the center.

"A Logosian? Here? That's unusual." Erin murmured. She noticed there was something odd about his body...he had scars and cuts all over it, and...and the unmistakable bruise of a noose that had just missed doing it's deadly work around his neck.

"Maybe we should get law enforcement to crack down." The man mused. "But you should be more careful. People have a way of getting in over their heads around here. As in "BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN." The red-haired Logosian sneered, twirling a switchblade knife around in his hands as he nonchalantly sat down in a nearby booth, carving out his "signature" into the table. Jack decided to wisely shut up about his tale as Captain Falcon headed over to the girl's table, sitting down with them.

"You might want to duck and cover, ladies." He whispered to them. "I've been tracking this man for the past week and now he has the gall to actually show up in front of me."

"You're a bounty hunter, right?" Erin asked of him as Captain Falcon reached down to a hidden holster by his hip, holding a pistol up as the red-haired Logosian began chuckling.

"Try it and I'll activate the bombs I've placed in this bar." The Logosian said.

"...what do you want?" Falcon gruffly growled.

"A good race with the brave Captain Falcon, of course." The Logosian said. "I'm ANNOYED with you chasing me all over the city, so here's the deal. There's going to be a Grand Prix race coming up soon. I'm entering the preliminaries. You beat me in the race, I turn myself in to you. But if I win, you stop following me."

"...what makes you think I'd take this offer?"

"Your ego won't let you turn down a challenge like this." The Logosian said calmly.

"...you're right. It won't." Falcon mused. "See you on the racetrack." He told them as Erin looked over in Zelda's direction, Falcon getting up and leaving the bar, Jack also exiting as the Logosian began sniggering.

"What exactly is so AMUSING, sir?" Zelda snapped.

"I lied." The Logosian laughed. "I haven't got any bombs set up in the bar. I just wanted to spook him." He told the two. "Will you two be entering the race? I'd like to meet you again." He said politely.

"...well...you said something about there being a "preliminary"?" Erin wondered. "...where might we be able to buy a car to enter into the race?"

...

...

...

...Nick was climbing up a long, towering apartment complex, Alex climbing alongside him as Nick privately thanked the stars for the ability that was super strength. God, he was so glad to be back in his childlike form again.

"Thank the LORD nobody bothers to, oh, look out their windows." Nick laughed as he and Alex kept climbing up the tall apartment tower. "All the interesting stuff they think's down THERE." He added, gesturing with his head at the city below, trying not to actually look down. Not that it really mattered, the whole "coming back to life" thing made Nick much less scared of heights.

"It's dead, they **killed** it!" They heard a voice screaming from inside a nearby half-opened window to their right, Nick looking at Alex as the two carefully maneuvered over to it, peeking inside, seeing a despondent man with very spiky hair rushing into his bedroom and slamming the door shut, locking it. **"And they killed ME with it!"** He moaned, going to his bedroom drawer and pulling out what was obviously a gun. "Puttin' in a hologram-covered gift set for Christmas and don't even punch holes in the lid so they can pin me to a Styrofoam comeback video..."

"Who the heck?" Nick mumbled.

"Jack Levin. A pop singer and F-Zero racer." Alex told him, frowning slightly.

"How do you know?"

"Says so on that poster." Alex told him, pointing with a pointed nail at a poster hanging over a closet in Mr. Levin's bedroom.

"_Ah_."

"No old man comebacks. No interviews on how happy I am with the new wife and tanning salon..._no new songs left to play_..." Jack mumbled, as Nick and Alex suddenly noticed somebody stepping out of the closet, someone shimmering, glowing, slowly coming into full sight. It was...it...

"...**ELVIS**?" Nick gasped.

"Aw, heck, boy! Y'all can just play one of the old songs with a new beat!" Elvis Presley said, sitting down on the bed and strumming his guitar.

"Y-you're..." Jack whispered.

"Just a truck driver, fella. Sing a little. Don't ask me who ah sing like, cuz ah don't sing like NOBODY." Elvis explained to Jack.

"N-No, it...it can't be." Jack gasped, staggering back, the gun falling from his hands as he fell to the blue-felted floor. "It's the stuff! You're a hallucination!"

"Quit y'all whinin' or I SHOW yah who's a hallucination, boy! Got any peanut butter? I'm hungry."

Alex cocked his head, his full fur swaying. "So THAT'S why Elvis had his heart attack, peanut butter clogs everything." he said with a snarl.

"It's because I'm giving up, isn't it? My parents always said me being a F-Zero racer would help inspire my art...but what can I do? What do you want me to do?" Jack asked "The King", falling on his hands now and bowing his head.

"Momma always told me I was the special one. "The last shall be first." That's what they said at all the prayer meetin's. Ah was the first, and ah shall be the last, uh-huh-huh! And she told me sometimes the death ah one can pass the glory onto another!"

"Are you talking about your death? Passing something onto me?" Jack wanted to know as the vision began to slowly fade, the Elvis phantom shaking his head back and forth.

"You be careful son, with that self-destructive behavior. Uh-huh-huh!" Elvis insisted before he finally vanished into thin air, Nick blinking and looking at Alex as Jack rubbed his chin, slowly getting to his feet.

"Self...destruction..." Jack murmured, exiting the bedroom and heading down the stairs.

"...I got a bad feeling about this." Nick told Alex as they continued climbing up the tower.

"You're telling ME!" his companion agreed, before suddenly snarling wildly, hissing and growling. Once he had reigned himself back in, Alex looked back at Nick. "Sorry, looks like my brain's starting to go as well."

Nick sniffed the air. "...do you...smell that?" He asked. "It smells like...like the smell of a projector that burnt out."

Alex sniffed the air. "...electrical stimuli...I smell...the kind of electrical haze that lingers from a holographic projection."

"That Elvis ghost was a hologram?" Nick murmured, he and Alex climbing back down, sneakin in through the window as Nick pulled open the closet, checking the insides. Sure enough, there was a small, spider-like holographic generator at the bottom of the closet, Nick picking it up in his hands. "Somebody's trying to drive Mr. Levin down to Crazy Town." He realized. "We should let the others know after we get the dimensional rift inducer put up."

"One question. If I can open rifts anyway, why do we need a generator?" Alex inquired.

"Your rifts aren't big enough." Nick told him. "...listen...um...in case Tachyon ends up going overboard with the whole "wanting justice for his kind" thing, I'm going to need your support in stopping him. I think he was being honest, but...also...not. He seemed to be telling the truth, but I'm worried that what he has planned is worse than killing or harming them..."

"Pal, you always have my support. That, and I need to find a cure before I start trying to eat girlscouts."

"True...true." Nick admitted as he and Alex climbed to the tallest point in the tower, placing the rift inducer at the top as sparks of lightning as white as pearls began to sizzle around them. "But we have one thing to look forward to...a race tomorrow, with Mario at the wheel. You ever been racing yourself?"

"I used to race extreme gear" Alex confessed to him

"Extreeeeeme." Nick sniggered.

...

...

...

... "Hello-hello-hello and WELCOME to a new season of F-Zero Racing!" Mr. Zero announced, clapping his hands together and rubbing them eagerly as he sat in a hovering observation booth shaped very much like a small blimp that was circling the starting line of the F-Zero Preliminary Race in Mute City. "I'm your host, Mr. Zero!" The cyborg man said proudly, sitting by a young Lombax who was...young. In fact, VERY young. Dear lord, was THAT Mr. Trilli-

"I'm here with someone whom the network, in their "infinite wisdom"..." The cyborg man's voice dropped an octave on those last two words "Decided to make my co-host for this season, Mr. Ernest Trillium." Mr. Zero added for the cameras, gesturing at the small Lombax, who adjusted the obviously-too-big suit he was wearing and smiled nervously as Mr. Zero's goggle-faced eyes turned to the race track. "This preliminary race really is setting up to be quite an intriguing one. Just look at the excitement! FEEL the blood rushing through the crowd's veins! Now in MY case, it's mostly motor oil, but still..."

"I think it's good that you still take the time to fine-groom your hair and give it the proper conditioner it needs to stay so vibrantly green." Ernest insisted, nodding at Mr. Zero who slightly blushed. "Also folks, we've come up with some excellent items for the charity auction I'm sponsoring today that I think people are really gonna love."

"Don't feel nervous, kid." Mr. Zero whispered. "Nobody's expecting much."

Ernest reached into his knapsack he'd brought with him as the racers looked up at the observation booth. "First of all, our own Jack Levin has kindly volunteered to put up for auction several photos of him back in Eighth Grade...and with his ORIGINAL NOSE. Also, he's volunteered to show pictures of him back when he was in FAT Camp."

"Is he TRYING to destroy his precariously-well-built image in the public eye?" Mr. Zero murmured.

"Also on the bidding list is this tape...a copy, one of many in the event of a disaster, of Mr. Zero singing "Teenage Dream" into a hairbrush." Ernest added cheerily.

Mr. Zero chuckled. "Heh-heh-heh, you know...I've been on this show for over twenty five years you **monkey motherBLEEP and if you BLEEPING thing I'm gonna BLEEPING BLEEP myself in the BLEEP you BLEEP-BLEEP-BLEEP**-"

He finally began STRANGLING his co-host as several guards rushed in to pry the two apart, Captain Falcon giving off a small little smile, Erin laughing hysterically in her own racer. She was dressed in a white outfit with a large pink "E" on the front of her chest, pink gloves to match. It was nearly impossible to tell it was her under all of that though...her face was covered in a large visor, none of her hair was showing...all for anonymity.

She turned her head to the right, noticing a cyborg-esque humanoid with purple skin staring at her, looking amused at her outfit. "So, Racer "E"...he asked, his dark purple shoulder pads making him look rather uncomfortable in his car. "First time driving? You should know I OWN the track, b-h."

"That's nice. But this car was built for nothin' but SPEED." Erin told him calmly. "Hell, they even took out the back seats to make room for the jets.

"...is that a CHALLENGE, girl?"

"Sure. Why not? Unless you're a nancy-boy who can't stomach competition?" She laughed.

"Bring it." He told her calmly.

"Won't THIS be fun?" The Logosian mused to himself as Captain Falcon as Mario adjusted the hat atop his head, turning to nod over in Captain Falcon's direction, his brother sitting in the back of their dual-driver race pod.

"Nice car." Falcon said calmly. "You look new. What's your name?"

"...Mario." Mario said calmly.

"Your LAST name."

"Mario."

"...that's a first name, what's your last name?"

"Mario."

"That's your first name!"

"No, it's Mario!"

"No, what's your LAST name?"

"Mario."

"You. Greenie." Captain Falcon asked Luigi, who blinked and pointed at himself.

"Uh, m-me?"

"What's your name?"

"Luigi."

"And your last name?"

"Mario."

"Those are both first names, what's your LAST name?"

"Mario!"

"Okay!...okay." Captain Falcon sighed deeply, holding his helmeted head in one hand. "WHAT'S your full name?"

"Luigi Mario. And this is my brother, Mario Mario."

"...uhhhhhhhhh..." Captain Falcon's mouth hung open, blinking stupidly as he tried to summon up the courage to respond in an eloquent way to that. "...UHHHHHH..."

"RACERS!" A now slightly-sedated Mr. Zero announced, getting Falcon and the other's attention as they readied themselves. "Start...your...ENGINES!"

"This is gonna be GOOOOOD." Nick said as he and the others stood in the pit stop section to the far right of the track, Nick adjusting his watch to play some appropriate music as he began to "air guitar", tapping his foot as Alex's head bounced back and forth slightly to the tune as well.

_**Fast lane through a hurricane...**_

_**Open road and I'm ready to roll!**_

_**Put the pedal down right away! **_

_**Red line, and I'm givin' it more!**_

Erin sped her car forth with Zelda watching from the sidelines, arms folded across her chest as the princess looked on in surprise. These things were so...FAST. So dangerous. And yet...oddly thrilling. She found herself very much entranced by the bright, flashing lights of the cars...these powerful engines of might, chariots of the Gods rushing faster than lightning across a track that hovered high above "ordinary mortals". Her hand slowly rose to her cheek as she gazed on in awe at the roaring cars before her.

_**City lights are burnin' bright behind me! **_

_**Top down, I push it to the floooooor!  
Ohhh-ohhh, ohh-ohhh, **_

_**Street signs and the center line's spinnin'!**_

_**Ohhh-ohhh, ohh-ohhh,**_

_**Burnin' hot...I feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

"So far, so good!" Mario told his brother as Luigi looked in through the rear-view mirror.

"Car a-coming up on the right!" Luigi yelled out in terror as a slick red car shot towards them, an octopus-like creature at the wheel. "It looks like Blooper's angry cousin's at the wheel!"

"Ready the bananas." Mario urged him as Luigi flicked a switch in the back, one of the supplies they'd loaded into the car hovering over an opened-up back hatch. Luigi flicked another switch and now a steady stream of bananas plopped out behind them, Octoman blinking stupidly at what he was seeing.

"No...way." He mumbled out as Mario and Luigi's racer dashed back and forth, spreading bananas everywhere. "No way they'd be STUPID enough to think this could-"

But it DID, and Octoman's car went spiraling across the track, slamming into the side and sticking there as the other cars narrowly avoided the bananas as they screamed down the hovering racetrack, Octoman stupidly blinking as he shifted his car into reverse. "What? Bananas! BANANAS?"

_**Takin' off like a jet plane...**_

_**High-speeds and she's ready to roll! **_

_**Fuel burnin' like a freight train!**_

_**Red line and I'm givin' it more!**_

"Woah. This car's going even faster than I expected." Erin mused out loud as she drove alongside Captain Falcon, who was clearly impressed by her speed. "I don't think I've EVER driven something so fast."

"Well I don't care how fast you are, I just hope it's fast enough to outrun that psychotic purple pipe-headed joker behind you." Captain Falcon warned her as Erin looked in the rear view mirror to see the threatening racer from earlier was quickly approaching.

"Time to turn up the heat in here!" Erin said firmly, flicking a switch as her afterburners kicked in and she jetted faster across the track, Captain Falcon and the diabolical Zoda following after.

_**City lights are burnin' bright behind me! **_

_**Top down, I push it to the floooooor!  
Ohhh-ohhh, ohh-ohhh, **_

_**Street signs and the center line's spinnin'!**_

_**Ohhh-ohhh, ohh-ohhh,**_

_**Burnin' hot...I feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

"He feels the need...the NEED FOR SPEED!" Fox realized as the cars passed them by in the second lap. "I think your music is actually...helping them. REALLY helping them go faster."

"Course it is!" Nick insisted, pointing at his watch. "God, I LOVE this baby. I've never been so grateful for hard rock in my life."

"Duck." Alex said nonchalantly.

"GAAAAAAAAAAH!" Everyone ducked and covered as a tyrannosaurus-like racer shot overhead, going straight off the runway and barely missing them by inches as Nick began crossing himself like mad.

"_Oh Father who art in Heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come-_"

_**Give me room to run!**_

_**One more road I'm on...**_

_**Give me room to run awaaaay...**_

_**Feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

"Self-destruction...destroy...what I represent...in their eyes. That's it." Jack insisted to himself, the Elvis phantom sitting in his chair. "But what do I do after that?"

"Wanna get a cheeseburger?" Elvis asked.

"So I should blow up a McDonalds? Of COURSE-no, no." Jack Levin groaned as he wheeled by Mario and Luigi's car, Luigi readying a new weapon. "Oh, I wish I was like you. You grew up knowing real PAIN! Your manager didn't care what you put in your body, your parents weren't supportive, you were practically raised in a shack and worked your way up!"

"Uh-huh-huh...was all shook up!"

"I grew up on a **mock colonial tract**! My parents went **to Galaxy University**! MY manager's actually trying to keep me **OFF** drugs! I want to live the life **REAL** people live! A laid-off, leased out, minimum wage, no health insurance, smoke a pack, drink a six, load a gun, sick of the tube, replaced by a chain, bored with the FEAR kinda life!" Jack screamed.

"Turtle." Elvis commented calmly, gesturing for Jack to move his car to do a swift swerve to the right. Jack naturally did so, managing to dodge a koopa shell with a koopa still attached to it that struck the back of Zoda's car, making him loose one of his jet engines as he spiraled off the race track, ejecting from his car as the koopa, being knocked out of his shell, clung to Jack's car hood for dear life.

"Somebody call PETA, this has GOTTA be animal abuse." Kirby told Yoshi as Yoshi nervously blushed.

"Luigi, I don't BELIEVE you!"

"I didn't know that one still had a koopa in it! What kinda seek mind puts-a turtle in a box-a?"

"Master Hand and I am a-gonna have-a WORDS." Mario growled.

_**Fast lane through a hurricane...**_

_**Top down on the highway...**_

_**Takin' off like a jet plane...**_

_**Red line and I'm givin' it more!**_

_**Street signs and the center line's spinnin'!**_

_**Ohhh-ohhh, ohh-ohhh,**_

_**Burnin' hot...I feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

"Here they come, here they come!" Fox called out as the racers approached the finish line, Nick clenching his fists tightly as they watched the racecars come closer and closer. "Look, those two are almost neck and neck with Captain and our car...in fact, it looks like Mario's actually getting ahead!"

"Racer...E?" Samus murmured, using her helmet's long-range vision to examine the oncoming car. "And a Logosian...uh oh."

"Uh-oh what?" Fox asked.

"They're ALL making a rush for the finish line, but the track can't handle more than two cars going side to side, if they're not careful they'll-"

"More bananas!" Mario called out. "We need just a FEW more!"

_**Give me room to run!**_

_**One more road I'm on...**_

_**Give me room to run awaaaay...**_

_**Feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

"Duck?" Pikachu asked Alex as the cars behind the Mario brothers began to spiral rapidly towards the finish line and Mario and Luigi's car, the pit station included.

"Duck."

They all hit the deck. Fire...a shockwave of sound, explosions ricocheting through the air...

_**Give me room to run!**_

_**One more road I'm on...**_

_**Give me room to run awaaaay...**_

_**Feel like I'm ready to roll!**_

For a long, long time, they laid down, waiting for the smoke to clear. And, at long last, it did, and they gaped at the sight.

It was an unmistakable four-car mash-up. All of the cars had been somehow slammed and fused together, and the drivers were crawling out to safety, mumbling and clutching their heads. They'd crossed the finish line at the same time in their welded-together forms...a four-way tie.

"This is UNPRECEDENTED." Mr. Zero announced, eyes widening in surprise. "I have NEVER seen anything so amazingly different! This is the most surprising twist I've ever seen so far in an F-Zero Race! I-I might actually have to consult the rule book for this one..."

"Well...we have a tie." The Logosian thought to himself, turning to Captain Falcon before realizing that the headband atop his head had been ripped in half during the crash. He sighed, nursing a slightly sore head before beginning to sign with his hands before the confused captain.

"What's he sayin'?" Falcon asked Mario, Luigi and "Racer E".

"I can read Sign." Racer "E" said. "He says...it's a tie...so...what now?"

"I suppose...we'll need a rematch. After all, there's a whole grand prix for you to prove yourself in." Falcon told the Logosian, turning to Mario, Luigi and "E". "You three are very interesting. Hope we meet again." He said nonchalantly, waving a hand in the air as he headed off, leaving them behind.

"...is it me, or does his voice sound...familiar?" Mario murmured.

"I KNOW, right?" Erin asked. "Clint Eastwood, right?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of John Wayne..." Luigi admitted, shrugging slightly as Nick looked up at the announcer's booth as tele-vid screens floated around it.

"We're getting our fan's opinions on this preliminary race from ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!" Mr. Zero asked.

"Yes, by all means, tell us what you thought of it! We're all eager to hear." Ernest insisted.

"Quite splendidly done." A octopus-like being said on one planet, steepling long-clawed fingers together.

"Anything with explosions cheers ME up." A horn-headed grey-skinned being added as he stood with his family by a mountain.

"That "Racer E" really got my attention." A dark-skinned, brown-eyed Hawaiian girl agreed as she stood by a blue-furred koala-like being in an unmistakably tropical-

Nick's mouth fell wide open. His eyes began saucers as his hands rose to his mouth, slamming them across it as tears began to brim and a single name escaped his lips, getting the attention of the others by it's hushed urgency and thick emotion.

"_LILO_?"

...

...

...

... Ernest Trillium turned up the volume on his television as he leaned back in his chair, looking at the screen as a music producer began speaking to a crowd of reporters about Jack Levin's sudden disappearance after the race, which had been then followed up by a recording studio being blown up...luckily, nobody had been in the building.

"It would appear that Mr. Jack Levin is intent on tearing down the Entertainment Industry that corrupted his music." The producer said, holding one hand high. "But would I say he's gone insane? No, no! Not at all! The "insanity" he's tapped into is one of religious ecstasy! Rock and roll was invented by poor Southerners from Earth, their ears ringing with the jubilation of the Gospel choir, their souls filled with the spirit of Evangelists! It blew through the galaxy like a holy ghost, and nobody tapped into it better than The King!"

"Amen!" Ernest mused to himself. "Poor Mr. Levin, who knows what's going through his mind? He should be more careful with himself."

"And you should have been more careful with who you chose as your guards." Percival Tachyon mused as he and Angela entered Ernest's condo, the Lombax turning pale at the sight of the Cragmite. "A few dollars waved in their face and they all squealed like pigs on where you were and stepped aside."

"Y-you...it's you, the one my parents t-told me about..." Ernest whimpered, eyes widening with horror.

"I know that the Lombaxes have been hiding in this city, in this whole dimension. It's not that far off a guess to imagine that they've tried to stay close and united considering what I did to their city last time. Strength in numbers, after all. So be a good little boy and tell me where your kind are hiding?" Percival mused calmly, steepling his clawed, gloved hands together and smiling in a sickly-sweet way. "I'll show more mercy to you if you do."

"I can't." Ernest said proudly. "I WON'T."

"Typical Lombax. So noble...so courageous...very well. then I'll settle for combing through this city one block at a time with my troops." Tachyon said calmly. "And I'm sure my good friends in E.G.O would be eager to assist in conquering his place, considering the assets it will provide for me."

Angela whipped out a plasma pistol and before Ernest could do anything he was shot clear in the chest, a paralytic bolt freezing him as Tachyon calmly walked behind the chair, lifting Ernest up and holding him close to his chest, claws trailing down the boy's cheek. "You look so SCARED, young dibbun. Do you think I intend to simply KILL you? I'm not that heartless, Lombax or no I would not slay a child." The Cragmite crooned. "Though..."

His tone became oddly solemn as he lifted the boy over his shoulder. "Perhaps it would be kinder for you if I WAS..." He murmured as he escorted the child to the bedroom, the open window he'd crept into being quickly shut with blinds drawn so that nobody could peek inside and see him get to work.

"Wh-what...what are..." Ernest managed to mumble out as Tachyon smiled darkly down at the child.

"Calm yourself. This is just a little thing to program some obedience and devotion into you the way I did with Ms. Cross..." Tachyon said sweetly, laughing softly as he got to work, Angela watching with faint envy mixed with pity as her master created a new and willing servant, a toy for his own use.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry I've been so late in updating. I've been away at Gettysburg lately and trying to catch up with schoolwork. Now though, I can refocus my efforts.  
**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE**

_My name is Nicholas Michael Grey. And I was a Guide. I was a superhero. I was someone who was proud of what power I had, proud of what I could do. I had nothing but love and compassion in my heart, a desire to save everyone, helped along by the many games, cartoons and movies I'd enjoyed._

_I loved the stories of fantasy...and when I entered the realms wherein they were placed, I realized how truly real they were, and wanted only to help those within. And in my second time I visited the "realms of fantasy", I met someone very, very special._

_Her name was Lilo Pelekai. She was a weird girl. She made voodoo dolls out of anything she could get her hands on. She liked to watch "Wasp Mummies" and "Attack of the Killer Onion" films. She had a large muumuu collection. _

_And me? I was a teenager in a child's body. It didn't seem totally normal in retrospect, but..._

_But looking back, long after I'd left her world, all I could think was that I had found this sweet, beautiful, kindly girl who was so, SO out of my league when I told her I loved her, and who made me thank God and all in the world when she said she loved me back. I'd spent so much of my life thinking about right and wrong, about the "why" of the universe, and I finally thought, in that instant, that I'd found the right answer. _

_The love we had...I've always held it in my heart. And now..._

"That was HER." Nick insisted as he paced back and forth in the garage they were using, gripping his thick head of brushed-back curly/wavy hair tightly, slightly grinding his teeth with each step. "I'd recognize her ANYWHERE. She might have gotten a bit older, it HAS been a few years, but that's her, that's Lilo, I KNOW it was!"

"Ex-girlfriend, eh?" Mario asked. "Your little bambino?"

"Si, si."

"That's Spanish, silly." Mario laughed, chuckling slightly as Fox checked the engine of the car again, Kirby examining something that apparently had gotten stuck to the tailpipe somehow. "Well, just ask Master Hand to take you-a there the next-a time we do a jump, okeydokey?"

"That's weird...it's a piece of tape." Kirby said, holding the piece of tape up as he stepped back from the tailpipe, Yoshi looking down at it. "Hw'd this get on here? And it's sticky..."

He tried to pry it off. Curse his lack of fingers! How did the Powerpuff Girls do it?

"It's STUCK!" He snapped, Yoshi sniggering slightly. "Oh, FUDGE IT!" He yelled, waving his stubby arm rapidly in the air before looking back down at it. "Oh. It's gone!"

"Well, good thing you got rid of THAT." Yoshi said, unaware that the tape had been stuck to the top of his forehead.

"Darn this thing. Somehow the whole engine's been gunked up." Fox muttered, scratching his head as Samus pushed him aside. She'd gotten itchy in her suit and was having it cleaned at a nearby Laundromat, Pikachu and Jigglypuff keeping an eye on it. So she was now wearing her usual sleeveless t-shirt and shorts, her bellybutton exposed with a high pair of boots, and, naturally, all in blue.

"Let me try." She said firmly, Fox blinking as he stared down at her behind, Mario and Luigi gaping at the sight as Nick "humina-humina'd". Unaware to all of them, Captain Falcon was watching as well, having hidden several cameras in their garage to keep an eye on them, just in case. Master Hand, also viewing the scene from back at the mansion, looked on with the others as Samus bent over to examine the engine even further.

"...I hope this car never gets fixed." Fox thought to himself, Samus's butt waving back and forth, Nick falling to the floor with a nosebleed oozing out from his nostrils, Mario covering his eyes and Luigi blushing deeply.

"Gu-guh-guh..." Captain Falcon mumbled, sitting in a swiveling chair, surrounded by computer monitors, displaying several angles of this shot as he drooled at the sight of Samus's behind, Master Hand nervously sweating...somehow...

How does a giant gloved hand sweat? We'll never know. But all of the men had been effected, though Yoshi and Pikachu didn't seem to care, and Link?

"And that is how they get the idea behind fractions." Alex explained, putting the Venn diagram away.

"This "new math" idea of yours is interesting, Mr. Hardie. Explain again why they think it's more important to know what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer?" Link asked, scratching his head underneath his green cap.

Samus finally stepped away from the engine, clapping her hands and closing the car hood back up, turning around to the others, looking at the unconscious Nick and rolling her eyes at the sight of the other men who'd been ogling. "Ugh. **Men**. Sometimes I just don't know...the engine's fixed, by the way. You just needed to adjust the valves."

She turned, seeing Link raising his hand up, making her blink in surprise. He was raising his hand? "...YES, Link?" She asked, crossing her arms.

I think we should check in on Zelda." Link asked nervously. "If this is acceptable?"

"Hmm, where IS Zelda?" Mario wondered, his moustache twitching back and forth. "I lost sight of her after the race..."

"She went on with that "Racer E", with Erin." Alex explained.

"You could tell it was her?" Nick muttered, rising up from the ground, looking down at his shirt. "Ohhh, my shirt, I got blood all over it, this was one of my favorite shirts!" He moaned, shaking his head.

"Of course, it was obvious, wasn't it?" Alex inquired of Nick, who nodded in agreement.

"You could tell?" Pikachu asked, scratching his head. "She looked FAMILIAR, but..."

"It might be because Alex and I are of that special "nature"." Nick admitted. "We're used to seeing things in a different way."

"Speaking of seeing, you guys see what I see?" Samus asked, walking over to a set of nearby boxes filled with latent bomb-ombs and pointing at a tiny rock-like thing about the size of a fingernail. The others crowded around it as Kirby's eyes widened.

"That's a camera, isn't it?" He asked as Samus picked it up, peeling away a layer from it, revealing machinery within. "Someone's spying on us."

"Captain FALCON'S spying on us." Samus said, pointing at a part of the internal machinery where a tiny logo was microscopically stitched in. "Only **he** would put that kind of logo in."

"A falcon? REALLY?" Alex mused.

"Darn it." Captain Falcon thought to himself, arms folded. "That was a bit too quick. They're clever, they are..."

"You are a CLEVER girl!" Zelda congratulated to Erin as she and her friend clinked glasses at a diner, Erin having bought dinner at a diner across from a drive-through movie theater. "That was some excellent driving, I must say. And it felt so...EXHILARATING to look upon..."

"We've made it into the Grand Prix and we're going to tear up the track!" Erin laughed happily. "Yeah, a good race is a lot of fun back where I come from." She told the princess as Zelda cut up her filet mignon into several dozen small, easily-eaten pieces. "How's the filet mignon?"

Zelda took a bite of it, chewing slightly. "Hmm. Not bad at all. It's nice to see that these new cultures can still appreciate proper cooking when they see it."

Erin stiffened, looking out the window and pointing. "Hey, look. It's that Jack Levin guy who was acting all weird on the track." She whispered, Zelda turning her head as Jack Levin's car drove into the movie theater's parking lot, getting a ticket from the drive-through's vendor.

"You still show his films?" Jack asked the blue-and-red-skinned alien manning the booth as she handed him his ticket.

"This is still his land." She said firmly as Jack pulled his car into an empty spot, looking up at the enormous screen.

"This is what he needs me to see." Jack spoke to himself. "I need to be here..."

Zelda, sticking her head out of the window, listened in, eyes closed. "He says he...needs to be here, "he" wanted him there...who do you think "he" is?" She asked Erin.

"Sure, y'all wanna talk 'bout good behavior." Elvis said on the enormous movie screen. "Y'all wanna get yer lawyers and big-shots a-talkin' 'bout me while I'm sittin' here in the Big House. Well I'll TELL you who's gettin' me outta here and back where I belong!"

"Big...house?" Jack murmured softly, eyes widening. "Big house?"

"An' that's the people who love my music!" Elvis insisted, pointing accusingly at the sheriff in the jail he was sitting in, the black and white screen of the movie making his eyes seem alit with dark fire.

"Yeah...yeah, I HEAR you, King! **I HEAR YOU!**" Jack yelled out.

"Why the heck is that guy yelling at an Elvis movie?" Erin wondered out loud as she noticed a music producer, a Lombax, as it were, speaking on a television at the bar across from their booth, the Logosian they'd seen before silently watching the news.

"So many musicians are all reflections of him, of the King. All seeking liberation and communion through his holy fire. Sadly, for so many, this immolation has turned out to be self-annihilation...there's been so many premature deaths. Every one of them's become a prophecy or stigmata of HIS."

"So you're concerned for Mr. Levin's mental health, Mr. Oclair?" The newscaster inquired of the Lombax as he took off his enormous Texan-style hat, holding it over his chest, head bowed along with his ears.

"Yes, I am. I don't want want mah dear Jacky to become just another dead saint."

"What a crock." The Logosian sneered, rolling his eyes. "Joco-boy just doesn't want to lose another source of revenue." He let out a long "pfft", taking a long sip of his drink. "...I really shouldn't be drinking so much, should I, girls?" He asked them. "And neither should you, after all, tomorrow is the first grand prix race..."

"I'm not scared." Erin said triumphantly, clenching her fist tightly and holding it up in a defiant pose. "I'm used to living in the fast lane."

...

...

...

... "Ahhh, it's a beautiful morning." Nick mused as Luigi opened up the garage door, Mario heading to the car as Yoshi tried to get a piece of tape off his little fingers, angrily growling at it. "Our first grand prix race..."

"And we know Captain Falcon is keeping an eye on us." Fox said firmly, nodding at the others. "We'll have to be nothing less than amazing."

"Maybe we should just subtly bring up in conversation why we need him, y'know, in case he installed other cameras in our garage." Kirby wondered out loud, Mario and Luigi both getting into the car.

"But he might think we already know about the cameras, and that we're just saying something to get him lured into a trap." Samus argued. "It might come off as fake."

"So he might think that we know, but we don't know that we know, we only know-OHHH, my brain hurts." Kirby muttered as he held his head, walking alongside the car as Nick fiddled with his watch to turn on some mood music.

"Hmm. No, no...pop's not what I'm looking for...hey, you guys got any suggestions?"

"Come on. We're high-profile racers. We gotta get-our-strut-on." Fox insisted, giving a slightly cocky smile.

"Get our strut on?" Samus asked, one eyebrow raised behind her helmet as Pikachu scratched his stomach nonchalantly.

"Strutting? How base."

"Well in your case, it's "get your WADDLE on"." Fox said with a hint of a sneer in his voice.

"HEY!" Pikachu growled, shaking his fist at Fox, electricity sparkling around his furry body as Nick kept searching through his music tracks.

"This'll work! I think." Nick said, switching the tune on as all of them tried to, well, get their strut on, walking alongside Mario and Luigi's car as it drove down the road, heading to the Grand Prix racetrack, civilians looking on.

_**My d-k...cost the late night fee, your d-k...got the HIV! **_

_**My d-k...plays on the double feature screen, your d-k...went straight to DVD!**_

_**My d-k...bigger than a bridge! Your d-k...looks like a little kid's!**_

_**My d-k...is large like the Chargers, the whole team, your s—t look like you fourteen!**_

_**My d-k...locked in a cage, right! Your d-k...suffers from stage fright!  
My d-k...is so hot it's stolen, your d-k...looks like Gary Coleman...**_

"How...come...we're moving...in...slow motion?" Kirby managed to get out as they continued to make their way down the road past more civilians.

"Should...have picked...a different one..." Nick mumbled out as he slowly raised his arm up to turn the song off. Darn "Reservoir Dogs" logic. He kept forgetting that any time a group got together and badass music played in the background, they'd have to be moving slowly.

"This car is freakin' SWEET. I can't believe it actually can hook up to the internet. I'm gonna play some "Punch-Out", King Hippo's goin' DOOOOWN." The Logosian thought to himself as he maneuvered his car down the road some distance from our heroes, adjusting his GPS to fit a new location, a quick stop before he went to the Grand Prix starting line.

"Good LORD, I'm an idiot." He spoke to himself as he stopped at a red light some distance away from Captain Falcon's car, grateful that Captain Falcon hadn't seen him just yet. "Drivin' in a big red car with the top down like some kind of a$$hole!"

The driver's window to Captain Falcon's car rolled down, Falcon calmly, leisurely leaning out and holding two fingers up to his visor, pointing from it to the Logosian in a "I'm watching you" gesture before he pulled away from the sidewalk, heading to the Grand Prix starting line. The Logosian sighed as the light turned green and he made a turn onto Left and Main, making a stop at-

"Too late." The Logosian realized, seeing the news team that had congregated at the home of Ernest Trillium, eager to discuss the poor soul's disappearance, and the blown-open state of his bedroom.

"We're live here at Mr. Trillium's regal estate, where the young pillar of our community vanished last night." One robotic reporter inquired as he held a microphone up by Mr. Zero, the "lovable", and I put immense emphasis quotes around "lovable" announcer for the F-Zero Grand Prix racing tournament. "The police, sadly, have no real clues as to the exact location of Mr. Trillium as of yet, but have informed the media they will let us know as soon as anything is revealed. Sir, are you concerned for your co-host's fate?"

"Of course, of course. But I've confidence in our police force, and, for that matter, in the technicians who worked on the F-Zero Grand Prix track." Mr. Zero insisted. "I think it's a fine track, you know, the techs have done a really good job of makin' sure the banks are grafted down to the right specs and there shouldn't be any problems."

"And do you think the high temperatures for the day will affect the driver's racing skills?"

"Well, of course, any time you're dealin' with high humidity and temperatures you need to compensate your brake fluid, but the REAL threat comes from flaring tempers, not flaring temperatures. I hope that we can all keep cool heads, be we police detectives OR racers on this solemn day." Mr. Zero insisted. "Especially Mr. Levin, who, uh...called me last night to keep talking about Elvis Presley. I'm concerned for his mental health. VERY concerned."

"My sources have actually been examining Mr. Levin and have speculated that perhaps he is under some kind of hypnotic control!" Another reporter, this one a kind of ape sapient, murmured nervously. "Camera footage was taken of him speaking to a spectral Elvis Presley! Unfortunately my sources won't return calls...and are now missing! And are probably **DEAD**!" The ape sapient screamed, shaking the camera rapidly.

"...hmm." The Logosian mused, rubbing his chin.

...

...

...

... "That was one HELL of a first race, I must say." Mr. Zero admitted as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully on the announcing booth, standing alongside Angela Cross as she sat in the same chair Mr. Ernest had. "What do you think, Ms. Cross?"

Angela nodded in agreement, smiling into the camera. "True, true. It's good they prioritized. In the F-Zero racing circuit, survival is just as important as winning. Say, I must ask..." She turned to Mr. Zero. "I heard your father was once head of the racing circuit. An excellent speedster at one point, am I right?"

"Oh yes, he was QUITE the racer. The BEST. Until he was killed on this very track a few years later. It's a cruel sport, huh?" Mr. Zero said, chuckling as Angela nervously raised an eyebrow, quivering in vague disgust as Mr. Zero shrugged. "But enough about my old man, why don't yu get back talking about all the racing action any of our fans might have missed! I've got to deliver a message to a very special team of racers..."

"I can't believe I missed him." Erin said to the others as she sat in her "Racer E" attire in the Mario Bros's garage, atop several stacked boxes of mushrooms. "I had a perfect shot lined up..."

"You couldn't fire at the Cap-ee-tan when his engine was smoking, it was-a noble." Mario insisted, nodding firmly as he and Luigi tried to fix up the paint job that had taken more of a beating than the actual hull of the car. Pigeon poo: The bane of all non-moving objects existence.

"NO? Whaddya mean "NO"! NEED to see her again." Nick angrily to Master Hand through a portal as he held one hand to his chest, Link and Zelda examining racing uniforms. Evidently Zelda wished to try her hand at driving a car and thought she'd look pretty in pink.

"I said "no". You're not ready. SHE'S not ready." Master Hand said in a dismissive fashion, closing the portal up as Nick angrily swung a fist through the air, missing the place where it'd been. He furiously kicked at the ground, growling as he folded his arms. "Dang it...DANG IT!" He mumbled. "I need to see her..."

"Two more races to go." A voice rang out as they turned their heads to see Emperor Tachyon standing there, arms folded, a deep look of concern faintly visible in his eyes. "I have some...unfortunate news. A "friend" of mine was kind enough to give me something of an "off the record" interview about the racing circuit."

"What do you mean?" Samus wanted to know, Jigglypuff angrily bounding around in the back of the garage, trying to get a piece of tape off her stubby hand. Samus folded her arms, raising an eyebrow as she looked at the Cragmite. "Talk."

"It appears that a racing syndicate under control by a mysterious being known as "Mother" has been fixing races in the F-Zero Grand Prix for some time." Emperor Tachyon told them, making his way to the edge of the garage, opening up the nearby refrigerator and taking out a cola, cracking it open with a single claw. "Certain racers that she apparently doesn't "like" get eventually...well...struck down with a bad case of the dead. Or the disappeared. Tragically, it seems that Mr. Levin's growing insanity is being fueled by her. And you? Your teams are wild cards. She doesn't like that."

"She wants to get rid of us, is that what you're saying?" Samus said quietly, dangerously. "Well...I think it's time we brought the fight to HER, then. If Mother is who I think she is, and I'll be it IS..."

"Who?" Yoshi wondered as Jigglypuff slapped the tape onto Tachyon's leg, making him growl.

"**Mother Brain.**" Samus growled darkly.

"The head of the space pirates, right?" Kirby asked. "She can't be worse than Dark YOU, right?...right?" He nervously chuckled as Samus sighed, folding her arms.

"Mother Brain is far smarter and has more resources at her advantage than Dark Samus does. She has ways of...ways of controlling others that are far worse than brainwashing you through Dark Phazon energy, and..."

Samus chewed on her lip. A familiar whimpering cry echoed through her head, the last thoughts of her beloved little Metroid Hatchling before Mother Brain had murdered him...

"_Mommy..."_

"We need to put her DOWN." Samus growled, slamming her fist into her palm.

"_Cheeeeee_." Pikachu swore as he hopped down from the windowsill he'd been sititng at. "Mr. Zero is coming! What's he want now?"

"Ah! Zero? HIDE ME!" Tachyon yelled, jumping behind some boxes and curling up in a fetal position as Mr. Zero entered the garage, a camera drone hovering around him like a giant fly, or some bulky little satellite.

"So, how does it feel to still be breathing after such a dangerous race?" Mr. Zero asked, a faint hint of malice creeping into his words.

"We just want to win the Grand Prix. THEN we'll talk." Samus said firmly.

"And you actually think you've got a chance, eh?" Mr. Zero inquired, rubbing his chin.

"We can do many things if we set our mind to it. Right, brother?" Luigi asked. "That's what Mario always says, anyhow." He added with a nervous mumble, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly not used to getting a camera crew focusing on him.

"Don't be so nervous around us, the media's not your ENEMY." Mr. Zero said good-naturedly. "You're all the next big stars! Of course, every star eventually FALLS..." He added with a sinister chuckle, waving goodbye to them as he exited the garage, the others looking around at each other.

"He's definitely evil." Pikachu insisted, smacking his fist into his palm. "We must investigate him IMMEDIATELY."

"Perhaps some of us could, say, break into his house and search it when we get the chance?" Samus mused. "I'd be happy to sneak around his home with our lovely little couple here. That is, if they're not worried about getting caught." She asked with a slight chuckle of Zelda and Link.

"Nervous, perhaps, but we're not going to be afraid of anything he can throw our way." Link insisted, putting a hand on his chest. "I have triumphed over the very essence of evil before because I overcame fear. I shall do so again. WE shall do so again." He said, gently taking Zelda's hands in his.

"The man lives in a high-security mansion with dozens of paid guards, guard dogs and a security system that makes your planet's "Alcatraz" look like a playpen." Tachyon said calmly, wiping the tape on an annoyed Kirby.

"We can handle guards and dogs." Zelda said simply, waving a gloved finger in the air.

"You'd need a skilled set of hands to get past his security systems. Luckily for me, well..." Alex steepled his hands. "Unlike Nick...I'm very GOOD with machines."

...

...

...

...as Alex and Link nervously sat in the backseat of the car Zelda was driving, Alex patted Link on the shoulder for comfort, Zelda going over the Driver's Manual one final time before she gripped the wheel, carefully activating the gas as the rental car made its way out of the garage, Erin nervously watching her go from her own car. "Be careful." She murmured quietly, one hand raised up slightly to her mouth, concern flickering across her fair and sweet features.

Link dug his tipless-gloved hands into the seat as Alex nervously gulped, Zelda's car careening down the road as she absentmindedly hummed to herself. It was as if something new had taken over her...

THWUMPA-THUMP!

"It's okay, just a pothole." Zelda mumbled.

Was she even aware of the fact that she'd just run over a COW?

The car tore through the town, underneath traffic lights, past dozens of stop signs as pedestrians screamed and jumped out of the way, the ape sapient from before doing a live report as smoke rose up from a truck that had been perforated through it's middle by Zelda and her driving skills. "So much destruction. So much terror. This reporter can only ask "why" and-"

KRAKA-THROOOOM!

Zelda's car rocketed through the truck AGAIN as the cameraman and the reporter ducked to the side, the cameraman sadly being knocked through the air, halfway embedding in a tree hollow as the reporter nervously gulped. "Let's...not...use that take." He decided.

Zelda eventually came to a stop down the street from Mr. Zero's home, as they sat in the car, taking in the mansion, eyes widening at the sight, Alex the only exception as he impatiently tapped the window.

"Why has the car stopped?" He asked, wanting them to get closer.

"It's **frightened**." Zelda mumbled.

The mansion was, quite simply, ENORMOUS, a towering monstrosity of gothic design with steepled towers and large, circular windows. They could see spiked ramparts lining the roof of the building as a series of black steps led to a set of double doors. If there'd been any doubt about Mr. Zero's evilness before...

"I see three guards at the front door." Alex murmured. "Two at each spire...let's check the back." He insisted as they slunk out of the car, Link getting his bow and arrows ready, Zelda clutching several daggers and twirling them as they carefully maneuvered themselves to the back entrance. Alas, that too was guarded, by two rent-a-cops like the rest of the facility, and several large-jawed, drooling robotic dogs.

"Robotic dogs...good, I don't have to feel guilty about animal cruelty." Alex mused as he turned to Link. "Think you can knock the guards-"

The guards fell to the ground, unconscious as the two robot dogs blinked stupidly, daggers deeply embedded in their heads before they too flopped to the ground. Link and Zelda raced to the back entrance, removing their weapons from the fallen foes as they motioned for Alex to sneak over, Alex nodding in appreciation.

"Not bad." He said, looking the doorway over, a keypad embedded in the center. He flicked his hand over it, electricity sparkling off his fingertips as his eyes slightly glowed. "...how base. His password is 'password'. Unoriginal wanker..." He told them. "So much for "future security". Like most things Mr. Zero has, it's a disappointment."

The door slid open as Zelda and Link peeked inside, motioning for Alex to follow after and giving the all-clear signal. Alex closed the door behind the as they made their way through a long, wide hallway, various windows providing eerie lighting, casting long shadows far along the floor. Zelda shivered in an uncomfortable fashion...slinking about in the shadows made her feel very uneasy. Moving towards the far-off, distant glow of computer screens, Link and Zelda gasped at the sight before them, Alex rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner.

It was a large display screen of DOZENS of alien worlds...parallel realms...images of Samus Aran, of Mario, of Link and Zelda and others brightly displayed on screens stretching across the room as Alex raised a hand up to several of the monitors. Much to his delight, it was an easy-access interface, he could maneuver the monitors around freely and flip through various "channels". "Here...we...GO." He said, finally arriving at the image of, wouldn't you know it, Mr. Zero himself speaking with a blond-haired woman in a conference room, several figures situated in a circular table, one of them visible in the light...Dr. Eggman.

"He's all ready for his last push, Mother." Mr. Zero said. "Mr. Levin's on his way to the King's home even as we speak."

"And what of our annoying little "wild card", my symbiotic friend?" Mother asked, her voice pure sweetness and light, a faint robotic tone vaguely underscoring her words.

"They'll be dealt with." Mr. Zero said, nodding firmly.

"Sym-what?" Zelda whispered at Alex. "What is that word?"

"I THINK that Mr. Zero's got a kind of connection to Mother Brain. A partnership of life. Kind of like how a bird that lives on a hippo keeps bugs off the thing's body in exchange for a place to sleep..." Alex explained.

"Or how tiny ocean fish clean a great whale's teeth?" Link inquired, making Zelda glance at him, surprised that he knew of such a thing. "My mother liked to teach me about the oceans above all other things."

"So..." Tachyon mused, making them all simultaneously yelp in surprise as he lowered himself down from the ceiling, dressed all in black as a perception filter deactivated, removing the cloak around his body. "Dr. Eggman and Mother are associates of Mr. Zero, eh? More "friends" to deal with. And by friends I mean people to remove from the equation. I dislike them almost as much as I disliked Andross. And from what this monitor suggests..."

"What?" Link asked. "You can tell where she is?"

"It appears they have a small headquarters just across from this very mansion. Look through that window." Tachyon said as he pointed at the monitor. They all leaned in, getting a closer look. Sure enough, Mr. Zero's mansion was visible in a window, the sun setting behind it. So the base was to the east of the mansion, and in a high-tech facility, judging from the walls...

"So you snuck in?...why am I not surprised." Alex muttered. "You've been following us around, haven't you?"

"EVERYONE is keeping an eye on you, my boy. Captain Falcon, me...and by the looks of it, Mr. Zero." Tachyon mused, bringing one monitor to their attention, which clearly showed the others in the middle of their next race and-

"The tailpipe's letting off pinkish smoke...oh no. That's not good." Alex murmured. "That's hydrogen, the engine is leaking hydrogen, the damn thing's a TIME BOMB, if they don't get out of there..."

"How could the engine be failing? We saw Ms. Aran fixing it yesterday." Zelda insisted. "Someone must have sabotaged it..."

"I think we know who." Tachyon said firmly, pointing an accusatory claw at Mr. Zero as there came loud shouting noises from one monitor, catching their eye. Jack Levin was at Elvis Presley's memorial, waving a gun in the air as a large crowd of people surrounded him and the glass coffin he was standing by. "What in blazes?"

"He WOULDN'T." Alex gasped.

"In Europe, the relics of saints are on display to all worshippers...**FREE**!" Jack cried out as his friends lifted the coffin up to carry it out.

Alex felt a sickening, dark feeling rise in his body. He wanted them to stop it. This was his icon. This was ELVIS.

"They'd better put that down...NOW!" He growled.

"And now, the greatest saint of the faith of Rock and Roll is going to be just as FREEEEEE!" Jack laughed happily as Alex noticed a small disc-shaped computer drive beeping on one of the consoles, shining slightly like a little blue star.

Could it be?

He pressed it, and in an instant, a display box appeared before them, showing off a place where text could be inputted. A title marked "Phantom Program" was placed above said text with various coordinate locations listed as Alex rubbed his chin. "So that's how Elvis has been appearing to Mr. Levin. The holographic image of Elvis can appear anywhere and say anything Zero wants. Perhaps..."

"Perhaps what?" Zelda asked as the crowd carried Elvis's body out to a truck, everyone heading off down the highway as Alex turned his attention back to the smoking engine of Erin's car, snatching the control

"I'll go help them and hold onto this." He said, pointing at the "phantom generator". "You two, go find Samus. She deserves to go confront Mother Brain."

...

...

...

... "This is bad, this is VERY, VERY bad." Mario murmured nervously. The car wheel felt like jelly in her hands, the whole car shaking like a tree limb in a hurricane as she struggled to keep it steady down the track.

"We're-a gonna DIE!" Luigi yelled, tugging down his cap over his head, actually somehow completely hiding inside it, his little brown shoes being the only thing that were now sticking out from underneath.

"Try and think POSITIVELY." Mario insisted, whipping his head back at his brother.

"We're-a gonna die QUICKLY!" Luigi whimpered.

There was a TWHUMP sound as Alex landed on top of the car, panting slightly. He HATED timed jumps. He made a mental note to teleport on top of moving cars next time instead of leaping off a building in a single bound.

"Alex, a leetle help here?" Mario nervously remarked as Erin's car drove alongside them, the smoke from the engine turning darker and darker.

"Guys, I've been trying to keep Captain Falcon off your tail, but he's getting a BIT too aggressive!" She warned as Captain Falcon's racecar swerved towards them, the helmeted racer gunning the engines as he gripped his wheel tightly.

Alex dug into the hood, large eyes peering around as he finally located the offending piece he was looking for: a tube-like blinking structure that looked like a high-tech pipe bomb had been snuck onto the side of the engine, hidden by a small perception filter. He ripped it off, quickly swallowing it as he turned to the engine, which continued to leak.

It was going critical. He had no other options.

"**EVERYBODY, ****DOWN!****"** He screamed out, diving through the car and carrying Erin out through the other side, glass and car hull shattering as he landed deftly on Captain Falcon's car, much to the man's surprise, though the enormous explosion that rocketed Erin's car through the air like a flaming catapult load was what made the audience and himself scramble to get out of it's path.

A sickening, burning scent filled the air as Captain Falcon swerved hard, avoiding the car and sweeping across the finish line, Mario and Luigi following behind. As his race car came to a halt, Alex leapt off with Erin, gently putting her down as Mario and Luigi raced out of their own vehicles, their friends coming to join them.

"This is one time I'm glad I wasn't wearing my seatbelt." Erin admitted nervously with a slight chuckle.

"You'd better not have scratched my paint job." Captain Falcon said with a faint edge in his voice, making Samus glare over at him through her helmet.

"Our friend almost got killed by a pipe bomb and all you can think of is...you SICKEN me." Samus said coldly. "Innocent lives are more important than this race."

"Well, well, WELL, I AM impressed!" Mr. Zero announced as he made his way towards them, clapping his hands. "I'm afraid that with your car utterly destroyed, you won't be able to compete anymore, Racer "E", but that bit was GREAT for ratings! Just FANTASTIC!"

"The Queen of the Space Pirates almost killed that girl and all you can think about is ratings?" The Logosian said as he stepped out of his car, having come in third place. "Didn't your own father get blown up by a bomb similar to that one? These are VERY bad people that we are speaking of-"

"So Mother killed my old man, big deal." Mr. Zero said. "He was arrogant and cocky anyway!"

"That's really all you care about then, huh?" Captain Falcon asked quietly. "...just the ratings?"

"It's all I've GOT. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go arrange a press conference." Mr. Zero said coldly, leaving the track as Captain Falcon rubbed his considerably large chin.

"I've been in the F-Zero Grand Prix many times before. The last track is...special. It's generated by condensed light energy through an energy synthesizer and sweeps over the planet at top speed like a brilliant white heavenly path. But where the finish line is can be altered depending on who's got their hands on that energy synthesizer." He informed them all calmly, a glint behind his visor shining ever-so-slightly. "Do you, pray tell, know where this "Queen of the Space Pirates" is? Is she even on the planet?"

"As a matter of fact, she is. In a facility east of Mr. Zero's mansion." Samus agreed. "Do you know of any advanced facilities close by to his home?"

"Yep...such a shame. They holed up in a hospital." Captain Falcon said with a sad whistle. "That is LOW..."

"That's disgusting." Pikachu muttered balefully. "Using a place such as that to hide like rats in a cave...it mocks the reason such places were created for."

"I'd-a wager Mr. Zero has that synthesizer at hees house." Mario suggested. "You all got eeen once before..."

"If your plan is what I THINK it is..." Fox told Captain Falcon, "I LIKE the way you think." He said, clasping the man's shoulder and grinning.

"**Don't touch me." **Captain Falcon snapped.

"Wait...where's Nick?" Pikachu realized, his head whipping back and forth.

...

...

...

... Nick had snuck off with the program that Alex had snatched from Mr. Zero's mansion and had directed Mr. Levin to drive right into the city, to it's theater region. Bright, glittering lights were strewn across a sign advertising Elvis impersonators, a few large statutes of the King stood proudly by tobacco stores, and a dozen Elvis impersonators were walking barefoot across the street like the Beatles down Abbey Road.

"It's the MOMENT, that's the ectasy. Music's life...you can't press life in plastic so you can play it on your treadmill..." Jack muttered to himself as he looked over at the impersonators. "That's what this place IS, man! THIS is what you sacrificed yourself for? "Hi, I'm Elvis, push play-random-repeat-repeat-repeat! And they won't even letcha DIE...shoulda gone at your peak, man...Hollywood, that's where you really died. I gotta tell 'em, write a letter..."

He parked his car by a "Mallmart" store, sighing as he noticed a large group of "Elvis" stamps in the "stationary" section, Nick carefully hiding in an alley, the phantom generator held in his hand as a small screen popped up in front of him. Did he even NEED to use it now, though? Jack was talking to himself, speaking strangely to the stamps as he sat in the car.

"Why'd you DO it, man?" He asked "The King". "Why'd ya settle for a LIVING?"

"Son, you ever fly a jet 'o girls to Miami in the middle of the night fer fried-banana sandwiches? Now that's what livin's all about!"

"No, man, NO." Jack insisted, shaking his head back and forth. "When you come down off the last chord and you gotta fill the HOLE where the sound was, yeah, that's when you grab for the girls and the money, but that ain't why you PLAY!"

"What are you? A communist? A dope peddler?"

"All the politics and dope in the world don't mean nothin' if you can't nail that one perfect sound, that one...perfect...song..." Jack mumbled, licking the stamp and putting it onto his letter.

"What the-hey, man! Whaddya think yer doin', I MADE you!" It said to him.

"No, man." Jack mumbled as he stuck the letter in his glove compartment, head hitting the wheel as he closed his eyes. "I made you..."

"...Mr. Levin?" Nick called out, making Jack turn his head. "...can we talk?" He asked gently.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: I've been BAD, not updating this, but the final exams in school and preparation for the end of the year and a new job have bogged me down. Hopefully this will cheer you all up and make up for my absence. I certainly want to go back to weekly updates. :)**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX**

Ernest Trillium mumbled under his breath, head swimming in and out of a fog of consciousness as he struggled to stand, only to slump back down to the ground on his four spiked legs-

...four...spiked...legs?

His eyes widened in horror as he stared down at himself. Clawed hands...dark body with a larger snout than before and eyes that seemed far, far sharper than they'd originally been...no ears, no TAIL, what on-

Now he was fully aware of where he was...Emperor Percival Tachyon stood behind a cell wall, poor "Ernie" locked away inside his ship as the Cragmite smiled devilishly at Ernest, rubbing his clawed hands together. "Oh, you are QUITE the beauty." He whispered. "Just LOOK at you. Absolutely amazing. Your DNA was quickly overwritten, your mind will be fully Cragmite in a few minutes."

"You...you tied me-you...you..." Ernest whimpered out, shivering madly as he scampered away from Tachyon, his entire body shaking with horror. "**What did you put into me?**" He screamed out at the Cragmite, banging one fist on the stony wall behind him. **"WHAT DID YOU ****DO**** TO ME?"**

"My own special DNA cocktail. A form of "eugenics", if you will." Tachyon mused calmly, tapping his claw tips together. "Your body's been altered, it's genetic code overwritten by a highly-adaptive strain of a unique virus I developed, with myself and those I inject as carriers. Your mind will follow soon, your will becoming that...of a Cragmite's. My ultimate revenge against your kind." He told Ernest, poking the cell wall and then laughing uproariously as Ernest fell to the ground, panting heavily, wracked with convulsions as the change began to fully overtake him.

"R-Ratchet-wi-will s-stop-you-as...as h-he d-did b-before, he-he sh-shall av-avenge us!" Ernest managed to get out, struggling to stay still as Tachyon waved a claw in the air, going "tsk-tsk-tsk" as he did so, shaking his head back and forth.

"Oh no, no, no, child. Nobody is coming to help you or your species. He doesn't even know I'm still alive." Tachyon's fanged grin spread wide across his face. "And by the time I'm finished...there won't be any of his kind left for him to **fight** for."

Ernest died with a scream...

And with that, the Cragmite known as Nestor was born as Tachyon laughed and laughed and laughed, his laughter echoing through the dark halls of his ship, Angela Cross closing her eyes and covering her face in her room, unable to bear the shame...unwilling to look at the loss of another of her kind.

"Forgive me." She thought quietly. "...please...forgive me, Ratchet."

Laughing, Tachyon made his way out of the cell block, heading for Angela's room, hearing...

...soft, quiet crying. He poked his head in ever-so-slightly, his yellowish eyes widening as he hesitated before slowly moving back, returning to his own quarters and lying down in his own bed, looking across the way at a small photograph he'd gotten framed, placed by his nightstand lamp...a photograph of him decades ago, a lifetime ago, with young Percival Tachyon situated with his foster parents.

Soft, quiet crying...

"_Have you nothing to say, then?" Tachyon spoke calmly as he steepled his gloved, clawed hands, sitting in his massive moving throne. It carefully maneuvered two powerful clawed arms high, small plasma cannons forming in the center "palms" as his many troops, having essentially torn down the home she'd been hiding in, stepped aside. His mother was defenseless now, with Kaden far, far away, and unable to help her. _

_She'd been silently crying, head bowed, lying on bended knee...no longer pregnant, Tachyon had discovered. In fact, that was one of the reasons why he was here. His eyes narrowed as he spoke more loudly. "Tell me where he is. You don't need to tell me where the Dimensionator is. I know my father has it. No, no, I'd like to meet my brother, Mother dear. Just tell me where he is, and I'll allow you to live. Don't make me slay you." He insisted, waving a hand in the air. "...DON'T."_

_Her head slowly raised up, tear-stained, furry cheeks with wet trails sliding down from her reddened eyes. "...so you can m-murder him the-the way you've murdered everyone else in this neighborhood?" She wanted to know, the acrid smell of burning flesh and torn limb hanging in the air. Not every Lombax had escaped in time...not every one. And not her, certainly._

"_If you're worried I'll kill him, don't be." Tachyon crooned. "I've far __**grander**__ plans for him." _

"_...I can't tell you. And I won't." Carrara, wife of Kaden insisted, closing her eyes and hanging her head low. _

_Tachyon was quiet for what seemed to be a long, long time, and he chewed his lip. "...you really mean that. He means that much to you? And I?...did I mean anything?"_

_"We LOVED you." She whispered out._

_"You tried to." Tachyon admitted. "You truly did. I **know** you tried. If nothing else...I am grateful for that." He turned his mech away...he had to pay a visit to his father. "...you tried so **hard**." He trailed off, covering his face with one hand. "...goodbye, mother." He whispered, closing his eyes. _

"_Tachyon-" Carrara began to say._

"_...make it quick." He commanded as one Cragmite grabbed her neck, holding a plasma blaster to her head. "Please."_

_The shot rang through the air. He flinched. _

"..." Tachyon looked back over at the photo, growling and trying to turn away. "Don't...don't think like that. The mission. Nothing matters but...but the mission. Nothing...no one..."

...

...

...

...it was the final day of the F-Zero Grand Prix, a day that had Mr. Zero walking on sunshine as he cheerily greeted the morning, and soon the cameras, with his signature smile. Yes, he was so happily confident this was going to be a ratings bonanza that he hadn't even bothered to double check the energy synthesizer he'd brought with him, comfortably located at the top of his floating commentator's booth. He was too busy looking at a Chinese fortune cookie from some dumplings he'd bought for breakfast.

"Odd." He mumbled as Mother, on the other end of a secret transmission line hidden in his fake eye frowned, steepling her fairly long fingers. "It says "Danger is lurking in your future". Maybe I should cancel that bet I made on those Italians..."

"You listen to a **COOKIE**?" Mother Brain mused in her subdued, cold-hearted voice, chuckling slightly as she leaned back in her comfortable chair, alit with numerous lights and blinking wires, hovering over the floor in the second floor of the hospital. She didn't think the Cancer Ward was going to mind, everybody in the hospital had been stuck downstairs. No, they wouldn't mind, not anymore than Mr. Zero would notice how she had already transferred control of a certain spectral generator over to herself from his home.

"I really should deal with them." Mother thought to herself as she glanced briefly at the camera feeds showing the dozens trapped below. Mother had been teasing them. Taunting them. Watching them scramble over what little food she provided for them and was now intent on finishing this. That is, once she'd dealt with the intruders, she mused to herself as her fingers flitted over a vaguely spectral control panel that floated before her, generated by her control chair. Yes, just had to take care of some unexpected guests who had located where she was somehow and were planning on informing that pesky Ms. Aran...

"Two flashes...two flashes..." Link murmured as his sword caught the light of the sun outside, flashing back at Alex on a rooftop far away, a parking garage where he was safely out of range of sight from Mother Brain or Mr. Zero. Fox had detected that there was a specially generated electro-magnetic field designed to shut down any technological equipment not specially attuned to a unique energy signature...to the same unique energy signature that was powering the hospital, Mother Brain's chair, and the tea machine she was enjoying at the moment, sipping a nice cup of green tea as she watched her base's defenses activated.

Truth be told, Link was still not totally comfortable around all of this technology. He preferred to use things he could understand, things he could see working in action. Captain Falcon had TRIED to explain how a "walkie-talkie" worked, but he himself had had trouble trying to explain radio waves in a fitting fashion to someone from Link and Zelda's medieval world. So...they'd just gone with "sunlight off of the Master Sword" for a plan.

THUNKA-CLUNK! Now Link and Zelda were in a room with all doors shut, all windows barred and chained up. No sunlight...no lighting within...trapped in what had been a patient ward for burn victims. Flipping on a switch, Mother Brain spoke.

"Do tell me, Hylians." She mused, using the word "Hylian" the way a racist might use the n-word, or an exterminator might use the word "rat". "Why shouldn't I just kill you now?"

"B-because...well...because..." Zelda stuttered nervously.

"LET US OUT!" One of the doctors on the first floor yelled furiously, banging a thick, four-fingered fist on the wall, shouting at the intercom through his rhinoceros-esque muzzle, Link and Zelda overhearing him and others crying out through the floors. They put their considerably long ears to the floor, hearing the doctor and many a patient and nurse joining him in swearing QUITE terribly at Mother, so much so that Link turned red in shame for letting his ears hear such abominable words.

"One moment." Mother Brain spoke to Zelda and Link, frowning darkly as she calmly stepped off her chair and sauntering down to a private elevator, popping down to the first floor as she waved through special glass, holes running up and down this special little thing. She'd had it installed for a very specific occasion. For an occasion just like THIS, truth be told as her specially-built body frowned, waving a finger in the air at her many prisoners.

"You let us out RIGHT now or we'll smash that elevator and strangle you." The doctor growled, shaking his pudgy fist at her.

"I thought that no matter the species, the rule was "first do no harm"?" Mother chuckled darkly, putting a slender hand to her ruby-red mouth. Indeed, she DID look quite the lovely blonde. Almost like a grown-up Samus with much longer, styled hair. Freud would have no doubt had had a field day with her. "Well. You'll have problems of your own to deal with. Too bad all of the gas masks were left on the third floor."

"Gas masks?" One of the patients asked, wheezing slightly as he scratched his secondary head. "Why gas masks?"

"Because of the gas."

"What gas?"

Mother promptly covered her mouth, chuckling slightly as there was a large hissing sound, and gas began to seep out from underneath her, spreading through the elevator and into the room with the assembled poor, unfortunate souls, Link and Zelda banging on the floor above as they heard the pained dying of those below.

"**NO!**" Link screamed. "I beg of you, STOP!"

"You can't! You CAN'T!" Zelda yelled. "YOU **COWARD**!"

Mother just laughed as she watched the patients began to wheeze and gasp and hack, falling to the ground like rotten fruit, their bodies turning blackened and sour as she calmly rode the elevator back up, dusting herself off before sitting back in her chair.

"Now...don't tell me you've forgotten. Why shouldn't I just kill YOU right now?"

Link and Zelda lay on the floor, on bended knee, Link digging his fingers deeply into his legs before Zelda spoke up, harshly, coldly. "You would not find it amusing to kill us so quickly. Those poor souls were down there for DAYS before you murdered them, I imagine."

"Oh yes. Weeks, in fact." The sociopathic android informed them, speaking as calmly as if she was talking about a Knicks game.

"You need to be entertained, and just killing us quickly, especially with something like poison gas, wouldn't be fun. Wouldn't be ORIGINAL enough. Wouldn't feel SATISFYING to you until you think we're "broken", I'd wager." Zelda mumbled coldly, glaring hatefully in the direction of the intercom as if it was Mother's face. She hadn't even really seen what Mother looked like, and already she hated this being.

"Very well then, entertain me. Basically...**RUN**." Mother chuckled, the door to their room promptly swishing open.

And they RAN.

...

...

...

... "We're live at Jack Levin's luxurious estate as the pop star continues to hole himself up. The police have surrounded the home of Mr. Levin in the hopes of talking him down, but he has refused to come out or answer any calls." One intrepid reporter in a yellow jumpsuit explained to a television crew as Nick nervously peeked out from behind some window blinds before turning back to Jack. The former pop star had been getting increasingly cuckoo as the days went on due to a "bad influence" in the form of a false spectral Elvis, sent to him from Mother and . WHY, exactly, was something Nick didn't understand...

Jack was plucking quietly away at a guitar, mumbling to himself as he lay upon his bed. He hadn't responded to anything Nick had said after the youth had explained where the Elvis had really come from.

"Sir, there's...there's a LOT of cops outside." Nick murmured nervously, jabbing a thumb back at the window."...I mean, a LOT, of cops, I mean just, lots and lots of...LOTS."

"..."

"Look, we should get you out of here and into police custody."

"Reckon so, boy, but first don'tcha wanna hear who's 'sponsible for Mr. Levin's misery?" A ghostly image of Elvis inquired, generating right in Mr. Levin's mirror as the two snapped their heads towards the spectral thing. Mother Brain smirked coldly as her hands fluttered over the controls, speaking calmly. "Mr. Zero had been systematically eliminating all the competition to you when you first started, Levin...building you up as his star, but now that he's found a new star, he decided he didn't need you, and thought you should go out at your peak. Using ME."

"Mr. Levin, don't listen to this thing..." Nick insisted quickly. "It's been lying so far..."

"I'm tellin' the truth. Mr. Zero's been behind it all. And you oughta go stop him, cuz he's rigged every other car except the one belongin' to those Italians to explode in a series of "tragic" accidents." The Elvis specter went on. "Yours included. The minute any one of them crosses the halfway mark...BOOM, one after the other...with your car included."

"We gotta go stop him." Nick gulped, Mr. Levin standing up as he moved to the closet, taking out what appeared to be some kind of key for his car. He clicked a button on it as a loud car-door-opening sound echoed through the room. "Guess it's time to save the day. Same old story, same old song." Nick supposed.

"And then what? Plea bargain? Community service? Nah. Same old song...with a new beat." Jack murmured, going to the window and pushing it open, Nick following after as he strapped his guitar to his back, looking down at the crowd of people below.

"Hello? Sir, do you have something to say?" The reporter from before asked, the chief of police standing by.

"He's giving himself up RIGHT after this, we promise." Nick insisted, waving his hands defensively before him.

"After what?" The chief inquired, frowning darkly.

"A mop." Jack spoke up.

"A **mop**?" Nick asked, suddenly hearing the whine of Jack Levin's car engine as people raced out of the way and he realized what Jack was up to, leaping through the air with Jack as the spiky-haired racer burst into song, sliding into his opened cockpit.

"_**A MOP-BOP-A-LOO-BOP, A LOO-BOP-BOP!"**_ Levin laughed, the car spiraling out of the driveway, heading for the F-Zero Grand prix.

Mario and Luigi rolled down the windows of their car, looking over in the direction of Captain Falcon as he looked over at them, smiling slyly, "Racer E" pulling up beside him and the Logosian on the far end of Mario and Luigi. "It's all in place. Just like we planned. And make it look good."

"I'm a beet nervous about dees...plan of yours. Am not so comfortable with-" Mario began to say.

"I'll come through." Fox insisted as he and Samus sat in the garage with Alex standing nearby, putting a hand on each of their shoulders.

"WE'LL come through." Alex insisted, nodding firmly as the machine located to their right hummed to life, live wires sparkling through the air as it let out a strange, whispering buzz.

"My finest work!" Jigglypuff cackled, putting down the goggles she'd been wearing over her head as Pikachu and Yoshi moved the final generator into place to power her ingenious device. "Ooh, I've OUTDONE myself this time!"

"Yes, it's fully ready, and I'll make sure it stays running even if it KILLS me." Alex insisted.

"I'm not worried about eet killing YOU, I'm worried about it keeling US!" Luigi groaned, biting on his glove and chewing it for a few moments before a hovering series of lights floated before their brilliantly luminescent track. Remembering just where they were, all four of them looked down below the shimmering white racetrack at the dazzlingly sparkling city. True, they knew the streets were kinda dirty, some alleys were filled to the brim with trash and there was still that...odd smell...

But looking down at the city below from just a little high up, with the clouds as their mountainside? Now everything seemed...sort of beautiful.

"THIS is what I like the most." Captain Falcon admitted as his voice, that lame, would-be Clint-Eastwood impersonation becoming ever-so-slightly softer. "These few moments I just get to stop...and just look around. That's all I really need from a race. Not the rush. Not the money. Not the fame. Just...to look around. That's it."

"...I...know what you mean." Mario admitted as the signal came for them to go, and for a brief moment, he wasn't among the clouds but back in the Mushroom Kingdom, the familiar smell of grass and flowers filling his nostrils, smiling clouds overhead as he looked over a land of content and peace. For a little while, just for a few instants, he and Luigi had felt with Captain Falcon that shared feeling of being just fine with the world.

The Logosian quietly sighed as he and Erin just tightened their grip on the wheel...gunned the engine...and tried not to think about home.

...

...

...

...Link and Zelda raced through the hallways, sweat pouring from their brow. They weren't afraid...they'd just been running like mad and their chests felt as if they were aflame. Panting heavily, they ducked down a nearby corridor, only to shrink away from it at the sight of an enormous HOLE situated in the center of the hallway, with a rotating fan situated in the center.

"Oh, by the way, you should know I'm in control of every inch of his facility and I've added a few...personal touches of my own. A woman's touch is SO important to making a proper deathtrap, you know." Mother mused as they backed away quickly from the hole, racing down the other end of the hallway. "Let's see...what to do next?" She mused, a series of paintings on the walls changing to show her face and body in provocative posing.

"You talk far too much!" Link yelled at the paintings as they all simultaneously frowned.

"Well. In THAT case!" She snapped, snapping her fingers.

THA-THUNK. A wall separated him and Zelda, the two now trapped on opposite ends. Link angrily banged on the wall before getting an idea, calling out to Zelda from the other end. "Zelda, I am coming through, STAND BACK!" He shouted, taking out a bomb from his thankfully enchanted bomb bag, privately saying a prayer to the Goddesses as he set it down on the ground by the wall. Running back away from it as it lit itself up and began to sizzle-

PFFFSSSSSHHHH. The sprinkler system designed to put out fires soaked through Link's clothes as he angrily spat out some water, letting out a "PMFH" as the bomb harmlessly fizzled out. He sighed and took his sword from out of its sheathe, raising it high. "TALLY-HO!" He roared, leaping at the wall and slashing and slicing away.

Well, thankfully, the wall was cut through in a few moments, but Link failed to notice the smirking expressions on the painting's faces as the wall came down and a stunned Zelda looked up at Link.

"Zelda, what is the matter?" Link asked, kneeling by her and lifting her up.

"You-you were behind there for HOURS." She whispered. "Some...some trick of the villainess is doing this, I'm certain of it...she is interfering with time, fooling with us..."

"Hours? I...this IS serious. Stay close, I INSIST." He told her gently, taking her hands in his and nodding at her as they made their way down another hallway.

Unfortunately this touching moment didn't last long. An enormous fan suddenly sprung up from one side of the wall, aimed squarely at Zelda, blowing her with a mighty blast into another room as Link yelled in horror and denial, ripping through the fan with the Master Sword. "Curse you!" He yelled. "A thousand plagues upon you!"

He turned to the room, slicing at the walls to cut them down and let his beloved-

Wrinkled...crow's-feet-afflicted, white-haired Zelda of Hyrule out...

"...Zelda?" He managed to gasp out, kneeling by her and holding her cheek as his voice cracked, Zelda slowly opening aged eyes. "What...what in the Goddesses name?"

"L-Liiiink?" Zelda rattled out. "You left me." She muttered, eyes widening. "How could you do that? How could you leave me?"

"Zelda, I didn't mean to-" Link begged tearfully.

"200 years I was waiting for you and you didn't come!" Zelda cried out, banging her frail fists on his chest as he stood up, horrified at what she had become, WAS becoming, snarling and spitting at him, rising on frail bones, voice barely recognizable in it's furious grief.

Link held his hands up, a dark chill rising through his body. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"She comes for me at night...she comes and she hurts me, she HURTS me..." Zelda muttered out, eyes scanning the hall as she staggered towards him. "They hurt me over and over and OVER AND OVER..."

"Zelda-" Link whispered, reaching out and taking her shoulder before she screamed at him, racing towards him as he spiraled backwards, gasping in horror as she lunged.

"HOW COULD YOU? HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MEEEEE?" She bellowed out before she fell down a dark deep hole that ripped open beneath her, Link screaming out in denial as he reached out with one gloved hand.

"Zelda, no! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

...

...

...

...Nick and Mr. Levin raced through the streets, Levin grinning maniacally as he pointed at a series of buildings far off in the distance. "Tell me what you see."

"...rooftops?" Nick suggested, shrugging slightly as Levin made a quick turn into the fast lane, the roaring sirens of cop cars beginning to catch up to them.

"Connect the dots, tell me whatcha get." Levin insisted, pointing again as one driver angrily swore in Galvan at them, shaking powerful, tiny fists.

"...uhhh...a...hill or ramp?" Nick guessed.

"DING-DING-DING!" Levin laughed, snapping his fingers as his car shot through a red light, breaking yet ANOTHER traffic violation. "So hold onto your underwear, this baby's got all the options!"

"Meaning WHAT?" Nick yelled out over the roar of the engines, plugging his ears with his fingers.

"Meaning we're going up, up and AWAAAAAY!" Levin yelled back, flipping a switch on his dashboard as a series of wings shot out from the sides of the car, a jet engine roaring to life in the back as his ship, riding up a hill, shot through the air, landing on a rooftop and heading for another.

"You're crazy! You're insane! You are SO _COOOOOOL_!" Nick cackled, punching the air above him with both hands as they bounced from roof to roof, the trail of the final race growing brighter and brighter as they got closer and closer to it and to Mr. Zero's floating commentary booth. "This is better than the "Superman: Ride of Steel" at Six Flags! **G-FORCE, G-FORCE, G-FORCE, G-FORCE!"**

Meanwhile, Link had found a series of stairs and had raced down to the first floor, moving through darkened corridors as the hum of an air conditioner added an eerie white noise to an otherwise silent nightmare. He nervously stepped through the halls, smelling something. An odor...a very strong one of-

Blood? And...death...

The Redead had had a smell. Like meat mushed together, left out to rot in the sun and then hung in a butcher's shop. This smelled like them...only far, far stronger.

He turned the corner, immediately regretting it as his blue eyes widened in horror at the sight before him. Written on the walls with the only thing left to her were the words "Hate you" and "Want to die" over and over. Frantic, desperate, insane scribbling from a woman...

That was nothing more than a long-blackened corpse, what little flesh left flaking off of bones darker than charcoal. Had it not been for the clothes, there would have been no indication that at one point this being had ever been Princess Zelda, the heir to the throne of Hyrule. The smell was positively overpowering, putrid and sickening, so strong it almost made Link vomit.

But it didn't. It just made him scream. And oh, did he scream as he collapsed to the floor, cradling Zelda's dead body, weeping openly. "No, no, no, nooo, _noooooo_." He managed to get out through his tears, falling to the floor and banging uselessly on the ground with his fists. "Zelda. _ZELDA_. I'm sorry, I'm SO, **SO** sorry..." He whimpered.

"Link?" Zelda whispered, nervously speaking as she stepped into the hallway, eyes widening at the thing he'd been was cradling. "What is that?"

Link's head snapped up and he whipped it in the direction of Zelda, glancing back at the thing, then at her before rushing to Zelda and embracing her so tightly she almost felt suffocated. "Thank the Goddeses, thank the Goddesses, it's you, it's YOU, and you're so beautiful, have I ever told you that?" He blubbered out, breathing in her sweet scent, not wanting to ever let go.

"Oh, I AM having fun." Mother's voice echoed out over the intercom as the body slowly faded away. "So much amazing technology to use. What to do with you next?" She mused, chuckling before breaking out into full cackling, Zelda and Link racing off, grasping each other's hands tightly.

Meanwhile, Nick was texting on his cell phone as Erin glanced down at her own, quickly picking it up as she and the other racers entered a long stretch. They'd been looping around the town for quite some time, but now they were almost there at their destination. Samus had made certain of this.

"Look...out...your right...window?" She mumbled, glancing out to the right, eyes bugging at the sight of Nick waving from a car that was essentially leapfrogging from roof to roof. "Oh...my...GOD!" She gasped. "What the?"

"This is **AAAAWESOME**!" Nick yelled as Mr. Levin pointed at the color commentary booth, which they were rapidly approaching. Mr. Zero was realizing that for some reason, the track for the last race hadn't quite made all the necessary turns.

"They turned RIGHT at the last intersection above main, it should have been straight...am I gonna hafta get out the damn map!" Mr. Zero mumbled, reaching into his chest and tossing out tequila glasses, several little watches and doohickeys, a small Tamagotchi...there it was, the map for the last race. They hadn't passed the halfway mark STILL? What was wrong with them?

"Wise men say only fools rush in." Mr. Levin mused as he gunned the engine, aiming squarely for Mr. Zero's commentary booth as Nick gripped the seat tightly. "CALL ME A FOOL."

"Call us BOTH fools." Nick decided, unbuckling his seatbelt as Levin's car leaped from a final rooftop, Mr. Zero's eyes widening at the sight of an enormous race car streaking through the air towards him.

"Oh bollocks-"

The entire commentary booth was practically SHATTERED as Nick, gripping the top half of Mr. Zero and the whole of Mr. Levin, leaped onto Erin's car, patting the roof as she held a thumbs up at him. The Logosian started laughing so hard that he almost lost control of the car as Erin giggled. "BRILLIANT!".

"BLOODY brilliant, and you're almost there!" Alex added, Fox readying the teleportal as their pre-programmed racetrack suddenly wound DOWN, aiming squarely at the second floor of one particular hospital.

Mother Brain whipped her head out the window, eyes widening as Fox flipped a switch. "Teleportal station ACTIVATED!"

"And HEEEERE WEEEE GOOOOO!" Samus laughed giddily, pulling down a lever as Mario, Luigi, Erin, Captain Falcon and all the remotely organic beings on or IN the cars were immediately transported back to the garage, Link and Zelda rushing out of the doors to the first floor of the hospital as Mother Brain was struck with Big Blue, the car slamming squarely into her chest. Her mouth opened, a bloody swear managing to get past her lips...

Almost, anyway.

In an instant the sabotaged cars promptly exploded, in a blazing burst of bright golden-white energy as Link and Zelda hid from behind several trees nearby, onlookers watching in amazement as the second floor, and immediately after via aftershocks, the HOSPITAL was practically knocked down like a giant "Jenga" game turned sour.

Calmly leaving the garage and making their way over to the destroyed hospital, the Logosian tended to Link and Zelda's wounds from exploded shrapnel and launched glass. Luckily they'd been far away enough to avoid serious injury.

"Don't worry, I'm a registered nurse." He insisted as he finished the touches on the wound to Zelda's cheek. "Or, at least I WAS back on Logos."

"But where is Mother Brain?" Pikachu murmured as they glanced around at the wreckage, police cars driving up to the scene, FINALLY arriving to do something. "She is not going to rise from the wreckage, half woman, half-machine with flesh sloughing off, is she?"

"THAT'S an unpleasant image." Yoshi shuddered, shaking his head. "PLEASE tell me she's dead, Ms. Aran!" He asked Samus.

"Well...judging from the contents of the air, the proximity of the explosion and exactly where she was when the cars landed..." Samus murmured, typing into her wrist computer on her plasma buster, frowning behind her visor. "...she was atomized and redistributed."

"Uh, what, perchance, does that mean?" Link inquired, scratching his dust-covered hair, his cap slightly cut.

"You're _breathing_ her." Jigglypuff snorted.

"**BLUURGGH**!" This time Link DID vomit as the Logosian began to laugh hysterically, Samus quietly chuckling and Pikachu wiping his fur off with his paws, gagging and hacking in disgust. Nick, meanwhile, was quiet...standing by Mr. Levin...

Who had become cold in his grip.

".._.please wake up_." Nick whispered quietly, gently holding Mr. Levin's body as he nervously shook his head back and forth, feeling the piece of razor-sharp intestinal tract that had shot through Jack's heart in the explosion that had blown the commentary booth apart and cut Mr. Zero in half. "No, NO, come on, wake up. Briiiiing...meeee...toooo...liiiife..." He sang out quietly, waiting, waiting...

Nothing.

"...it's not working." He spoke more loudly, his brimming-with-tears eyes turning to the others as they looked in his direction, suddenly seeing Mr. Levin's state. The crowd of onlookers gasped as Nick stepped back from the body, the police examining it thoroughly as Nick held his hands over his mouth. "Why isn't it...why is...this **can't**...not..._WHY_?"

"...maybe he was done." Pikachu suggested softly. "...maybe there was no more reason for him to stay here. He'd done what he'd wanted."

"He went out at a peak nobody'll ever reach." Erin spoke softly. "...like Jimmy Dean..."

_**"Lived and died behind the wheel..."**_ Nick croaked out, covering his face as Mr. Zero hacked out a laugh, being loaded into a police car's trunk since he could now easily fit in most overhead storage bins.

"He'll betray you, you know." The cyborg laughed at them.

"Are you still TALKING?" Samus growled at the scum that had dared to ally himself with the destroyer of worlds."

"Your friend "Percival"!" Mr. Zero went on, grinning broadly. "He'll become even worse than me, he IS worse than me."

"Worse than Mr. "I Killed My Own Father"? I don't THINK so!" Nick yelled back at him, angrily lunging at Mr. Zero, becoming restrained by the police and pushed back. The desire to feed this thing it's own tongue was rising in him, a burning hot fire that wouldn't quell easily.

"And why NOT? He left me for his sick love of racing! And when he did, I swore to own the sport, ALL of it! Every last drop!" Mr. Zero hissed back.

Mario shook his head as he folded his arms. "Are there no-a therapists upon thees planet?" He questioned.

"There NEVER are." Yoshi sniggered as the police closed the trunk on the car, letting Mr. Zero rant alone as Nick chewed into his fist, looking back at Mr. Levin as they carried him away on a stretcher.

"...I'm sorry about Mr. Levin." Erin spoke gently, putting one hand on his shoulder as Nick slowly sank to his knees.

"_...I did it again."_ Nick thought to himself. _"Another person I failed to save."_

...

...

...

... "I must say, I've NEVER seen more well-behaved Cragmites." Fox admitted as he and the rest of the gang were led back onto Tachyon's ship, a portal shimmering wide, ready to take them to their next stop. Or at least, several of them, anyhow, the ones that wouldn't look too out-of-place. There was another portal to it's right that would take the others back to the mansion.

"Oh, no thank you, really, I've had quite enough tea." Zelda insisted, one Cragmite lowering the plate of tea and crumpets as Alex munched on a burger himself, looking over in Nick's direction as he shook Tachyon's hand.

"Thank you again for being so considerate to us." Nick insisted again. "It was so nice of you to let us spend the night!" He'd NEEDED some time to himself, and he'd been grateful Tachyon had given him a room to himself. He'd cried himself to sleep last night over Levin...and he'd no doubt be crying for many more nights.

"You're SURE none of you did ANYTHING in the pool besides swim?" Tachyon inquired, looking over in the direction of the more animalistic heroes as Jigglypuff whistled innocently.

"We're positive." Mario spoke up. "Right?" He asked them all as everybody nodded eagerly. "But we should-a theenk up a NAME for ourselves."

"A what?" Fox asked.

"A name. We're like a beeg team now. We should have a name, don'tcha think?" Mario went on, walking back and forth before them all.

"Like a superhero team has a name?" Luigi asked. "Oh, yeah, yeah, I get eet! Well, what WOULD we name ourselves? I meen, all we've really got in-a common is we're good at smashing theengs up!"

"That's not a bad idea!" Mario laughed as Nick's head shot in Mario's direction.

Could it be?

Could it really be?

"We'll be..."

Alex's eyes widened wider...wider...

"The Smashing Pros! Or "Smash Pros", for short-a! Whaddya think?" He asked them all.

"Sounds good to me! Nice ring to it." Yoshi decided.

"Yeah, it's got a nice feel to it." Pikachu admitted.

"A bit...barbaric, "smashing", but...well, "professionals" is a nice touch, I would like you to be thought of as one." Zelda mused, smiling at Link as he humbly blushed.

"I don't mind." Samus told them all.

Nick scratched his head in dumb confusion, Alex pulling his face down with his hands as he let out a deep, inward sigh. Oh, if only they knew.

"Take care, Perry." Nick said, he, Link and Zelda heading into the second portal as Tachyon rolled his eyes.

"EMPER-oh, FORGET it." The Cragmite mumbled, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Fox, Captain Falcon and Yoshi following after the three as Mario, Luigi and Samus entered with Alex and Erin into the new world...

And found themselves in quite a strange new place indeed.

"...um...everyone..." Alex murmured as he blinked his eyes on the leash he was being forced to wear for his disguise, claws slightly scratching at his fur as Samus adjusted the perception filter she was wearing. "...am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"...this can't possibly be right." Samus murmured, now wearing a dress as she tilted her head to the side, scratching it as Erin rubbed her chin.

"Thees ees certainly new." Mario admitted, raising his cap ever-so-slightly as Luigi gaped at the sight.

Before their eyes was something seemingly ripped right out of a "Leave it To Beaver" episode. Houses with long, white picket fences, puffy clouds and identical windows and doors. Long roads, mailboxes lined along them all, and everything similar in color and shade...

Because everything around them, be it the sky, the clouds, the paint scheme on the buildings or the people walking around on the sidewalks and into the town some distance away...was all in shades of black, white and grey.

"What's going on?" Luigi asked, looking at himself and the town around them. Even he and his brother and the friends were all the same shades as the town. One kid walked by them, looking them over as he adjusted his baseball cap and smiled.

"You all here for the big game?" He cheerily inquired. "Or maybe the band concert after? It'll be quite the show! Superfun!" He laughed.

"Er...yes, the band concert! We've heard it's...swell. REALLY swell." Erin stuttered nervously, thankful she was dressed conservatively enough.

"Oh, well, I hope I get to see you there, miss...uh..." The kid scratched his head. "...what's your name?"

"Erin. Erin...KNIGHTLY." Erin said quickly, wanting to pick a more normal-sounding name.

"The name's Ness Elliot, ma'am." Ness told her, bowing slightly. "Please to meetcha. Ta-ta!" He called out, waving goodbye and bounding off, walking the dog with his yo-yo.

"...this is really happening, eesn't eet? **How**?" Mario murmured as Master Hand's voice echoed in their heads.

"This is the change you must bring about. There are two birds with one stone to be brought down. Bring color to the world...and all will be made right."

"How do we do-a THAT?" Luigi asked.

"You need to make Ness open to ideas. Ideas about what it means to truly be a "person". He lives in a 1950's world...and it's time to jolt him out of it before he's in here for too long..." Mater Hand went on. "This, to him, was his escape, the same way Pikachu had an escape."

"He's ten years old! The worst challenge he should have should be _learning multiplication tables_." Samus mumbled as they made their way into town after Ness. "Just what in his life was so bad...that he felt the need for everything to be like **THIS**?" Samus wondered.

"That, Ms. Aran...is the right question." Master Hand intoned.


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN**

"Well, this is...**hmm**. We are practically living in a black and white movie." Samus looked herself over in the mirror of a library bathroom, she and the others having decided to go directly to the source and examine the town's history. Remember kids, there's so many amazing things you can learn at your local library! Erin stood next to her, pouting slightly as she looked through her purse.

"Gee, SO many lipstick colors to choose from besides black!" She mumbled angrily, holding up lipstick container after lipstick container, brow furrowed in annoyance. "Jet black, obsidian black, charcoal black, midnight black, liquorices black, weapon's grade black, grey, steel grey, cloudy grey, ocean grey, iron grey, gray-grey..."

"This is 1950's America. Everybody is backwards. If any male caught you with lipstick and in that dress, I think he'd think you were a lady of the night."

"I wanna keep my shirt and jeans! Ugh." Erin sighed, scratching her head. "Fine, I'll go find something more conservative to wear." She mumbled, heading out the bathroom as Mario and Luigi looked through a stack of history books on the town from the "Local" section of the library.

"Hmm." Mario frowned. "This library is VERY insensitive."

"Yes, it...wait." Erin scratched her head. "Your voice. It sounds less...accented."

"Oh, you've noticed?" Mario inquired as Luigi angrily tossed a book away, mumbling "Disgusting racist jerks" under his breath. "Evidently the effects of this world affect more than our appearance. Try and say something unpleasant."

"Uh..." Erin scratched her head. "Like what?"

"You know."

"...oh. Uh...um..." Erin struggled to find the right word. "...I can't!"

"Exactly. None of us are able to say any sort of indecent words. And believe me, Luigi has been trying for the past half an hour."

"It feels like we're in some kind of kooky cartoon! Instead of saying swears it's all 'Dollar sign, ampersand, asterisk' and the like." Luigi told her as he handed her a book. "And all the information in these history books is so outdated, racist and offensive!"

"Oh come on, the 1950's weren't THAT bad." Erin insisted as Samus exited the room and sat at the table with them, Alex being forced to wait outside, poor thing. He turned his head to look over at a Doberman that was tied up next to him by the bike fence.

"...whaddya YOU in for?" He wisecracked.

"...what the?" Erin frowned as she looked at the entry on South Africa. "I forgot, Apartheid was in full swing, this is...oh my LORD!"

"It's worse when it gets to the "Communistic" countries. They're practically demonizing them. It wasn't a little kid that drew those horns." Mario told her sadly as he pointed at a picture of a Japanese man on the entry for Japan in a school textbook on "World History", Luigi looking through a list of popular "Sing-Along Songs".

"We're Gonna Hafta Slap the Dirty Little Jap"? These people are AWFUL. The sooner we get out of here, the BETTER!" Luigi insisted, Samus noticing Ness was sitting by two children, one with slightly-slicked up blonde hair, the other with well-brushed reddish/orange hair. All of them had similar striped t-shirts and shorts. In fact, the blond and the ginger-esque kid looked like twins, save that one was slightly more skittish. The blond kid couldn't sit still and kept twitching.

"I'm telling you Claus, I saw WORDS in here." Ness whispered, Samus's eyes widening as Ness pointed into a copy of Huckleberry Finn. She approached them as the red-haired kid rubbed his chin.

"You really saw words? But they were always blank before. At least, I THINK they were blank before." Claus insisted. "Right, Lucas?"

"The only books that have ever had words were the history books n' stuff." The blond kid admitted. "What were the words?"

"It was a chapter title-oh. Hello, lady!" Ness said, smiling up at Samus. "She's new in town. This is my best buddy Lucas, and his brother, Claus."

Samus picked up the book, looking through it and raising an eyebrow. It was true, there wasn't so much as a single word in "Huckleberry Finn". Not even a copyright. Only the title on the front cover remained. How very, very strange.

"And you say ALL the books are like this?" She asked them as Mario rubbed his chin over at the table he and the others were sitting at.

"Oh yes, always have been, Ms...uh..." Ness scratched his head. "I didn't catch your name?"

"Aran. Ms. Samus Aran." Samus told him.

Ness blinked. That name sounded almost...familiar. Odd. He just smiled and nodded at her. "Very nice to meet you, Ms. Aran!"

Hearing a faint whisper from the bushes, Alex turned his head to see Yoshi poking HIS head out, glancing around for others. "Listen. Master Hand sent me to tell you he's found a place for all of you to live while you get Ness to join us. He's even arranged for Erin to attend the high school, all the paperwork got magic'd up and everything. But remember: you guys CAN'T give away where you're really from or who you really are! That's a MUST. Ness is responsible for this whole world, if it unravels too quickly, his mind will snap!"

"Well, I'll be happy to tell them as soon as I...stop...GAAHHH!" Alex growled and scratched madly at his neck. "I've got **FLEAS**! Stupid dog!" He snapped at the Doberman, who stupidly smiled at him, tongue hanging out.

"Been there, buddy." The dinosaur said sadly. "I'll see if I can do something for you next time I see Master Hand. Like, I dunno, get you a nice flea collar?" Yoshi mused, ducking back into the bush and vanishing as Alex madly chewed on his arm, growling angrily. Stupid, **STUPID** dog!

...

...

...

...meanwhile, in a galaxy far, far away, a form sat before an enormous table, the assembled forces of villainy in the "Game" realm sitting together. One particular individual sat at the head of the table, looking around at them all. At least, they THOUGHT it was looking around at them all.

"Maybe my last request for what I wanted was too mired in subtlety. I want control over the Multiverse. And to get it, I was PRETTY sure we were all agreed that we needed these people dead. Beaten! BROKEN!" The thing roared out. "THEIR **HEAD**-MOUNTED-ON-MY-**WALL** KINDA DEAD!"

"Regrettably, Mother Brain has...left us." Dedede's boss explained, hovering near the penguin king as Dedede munched on a bagel with everything on it, Dr. Eggman sitting quietly in his chair, gloved hands resting against each other. "She and Andross have, most sadly, gone the way of Ganondorf, we haven't been able to contact Ridley, Arceus has been in a slump, and Mewtwo refuses to have anything more to do with us."

"Tell the deity Pokémon he needs to get OUT of that slump! Speaking of talking animals, where's that damn Jigglypuff? I wanna dump that ungrateful brat's body outside of the ASPCA!" The being yelled, slamming against the table.

"This "ungrateful brat" can hear everything you're saying." Jigglypuff announced, her visage appearing on a private teleprompter screen far above their heads, with another vid screen behind her, the Hierophant of EGO in sight. "Darithil and I have been doing some deal-making. He's sending over a piece of magi-science that he believes will be of use, and I..." She put a stubby hand on her "chest". "Have been hard at work playing the "remorseful atoner" card."

Dedede blinked. "Huh?"

"Smaller words, please. You're losing Dedede." Dr. Eggman laughed.

"The others believe I'm one of them and that I'm willing to do anything to make up for my evil deeds. Oh, I was such a BAD, BAD girl, and I feel so aaaaawful about it!" Jigglypuff mocked, putting a hand over her forehead and making a grand show of false remorse. "I should win an Oscar. I'm right in the middle of their base!"

"Set up a bomb or somethin' and jes' kill 'em." Dedede suggested, folding his arms as he tilted his head to the side ever-so-slightly.

"Don't be idiotic." The Hierophant said on the other end. "Heroes ALWAYS survive traps like that. No, no, you wish to kill a snake, you go for the head, not the tail. Or rather...the HAND. As in 'Master Hand'. I make this clear to you specifically Mr. Dedede because I'm been made aware that your brain is the size of a _walnut_." The Blind Irken informed Dedede, who angrily raised his hammer.

"Say that AGAIN!" The penguin growled out.

"Jigglypuff, hurry up!" Nick's voice rang out from behind the door to her room. "Master Hand asked me to clean ALL the rooms in the mansion, that means your room too!"

"Go do PIKACHU'S!"

"I already DID Pikachu's and I can't write to my girlfriend's world if all the rooms aren't all clean!"

"You'd probably just sweep everything under the rug! Guys can't clean!"

"I WOULD NOT!" Nick whined. "Would not, would not, would NOT!"

"Look, I need to go. Darth will send the package to me, and then I'll send it to you. Later!" With that, she ended the connection as their mastermind being chuckled darkly.

"I do believe we finally have encountered a bright spot in the day." He told them all. "But..." He sighed sadly. "We must pay homage to our dearly departed Mother Brain."

All of them held their hands over their chests as their leader led them in a eulogy. "Farewell, Mother Brain. You were a sneaky, manipulative, devious b-h. We couldn't have asked for a better villainess. A finer evil diva never walked these hallways. Furthermore, you were great at bridge and had a tremendous singing voice."

Dr. Eggman nodded sagely. "It's true."

"SHH!" Dedede whispered harshly. "Don't go disrespectin' the dead, y'hear?"

"But I digress. The time for sorrow has passed. It's time to look to a future filled with smiles. And I'll be smiling again just as soon as we take EVERY...SINGLE...ONE...OF THOSE "HEROES"...**AND STICK THEM IN A BLENDER!**"

"Sir, calm down..." Dedede's master murmured as their boss began screaming and yelling furiously, practically going into convulsions.

"STAB THEM IN THE HEAD WITH A SPOON!"

Dr. Eggman sighed as he pulled out a small vial of metallic liquid and a needle, carefully slinking towards their boss, the others wincing as he, or rather IT, continued to rant.

"KILL! BLOOD! RAGE! MURDER! DEATHS! **I WILL DUNK THEIR HEADS IN A BUCKET OF ****LYE****-**"

SCHLIK!

"...oohhhh...ahhh." Their master calmed down, slumping down in his comfy chair as Dedede placed his yellow-gloved hands together.

"Well, that was fun! Who wants Chinese?"

...

...

...

...Master Hand's reality-influencing abilities sure were handy, Samus mused to herself after all of them had divided up the rooms and chosen a place to sleep, Mario deciding upon himself to get them all dinner. He'd even gotten ahold of a "Kiss the Cook" cap with white chef's jacket and pants to match. Unfortunately...

"They want PASTA!" Mario insisted to Luigi as they all sat around the dinner table, Alex trying not to scratch at his neck, now wearing a dark blue flea collar. "Don't you all?"

"Of COURSE they don't want pasta, Mario! NOBODY wants pasta!" The Italian plumber insisted to his older yet shorter brother. "We've been having pasta every night for the last FOUR YEARS! I wanna try something DIFFERENT, like some **CHINESE**!"

"Uh...how about meat loaf?" Mario decided, the others shrugging in agreement as he opened up the fridge, Luigi setting up the stove and Mario pouring everyone some fruit juice for drinks before moving to cook some hamburger and pork meat. "Ahhh, it feels like being back home in Brooklyn again. You know, my mother used to cook dinner for my brother and I all the time!"

"Really? A stay-at-home mom?" Erin asked as Luigi set the table for them.

"Oh yes. It was always 'Honey, I'm home' for my father too after a day's work out fixing people's plumbing." Luigi added.

"We were, well, RAISED on 50's values." Mario admitted as he began to cook the meat, adding his special spices from inside his chef's garb. "Proper nutrition meant mother asking us if we wanted more cookies and milk after spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Safe sex meant mother and father always slept in separate beds. Family values meant board game night and always taking the time to dress us in the morning." He sighed slightly. "Being here kind of...reminds me of how things used to be. It wasn't necessarily BAD, you know, that kind of life...it...it really wasn't."

Samus was quiet, folding her hands in her lap. "...and your parents? What happened to them?"

"Well...they divorced. We left home, struck out on our own." Mario told her. "It's alright though. If we hadn't done that, we wouldn't have found the pipe that led us into the Mushroom Kingdom! Never found our parents again though..." Mario sighed slightly as Luigi got to work on making a salad for them all to enjoy. "...I wonder what happened to them?" He mused, mustache quivering slightly as his brow furrowed.

"Ah, but you couldn't know how it felt to-oh. Nevermind." Luigi murmured nervously as he looked over at Samus.

"I lost my own parents too." Erin admitted quietly as she rested her elbows on the table, sighing. "I think everyone here has issues of their own. Maybe we should talk about them? Get them out of the way? It might help."

_**"Elbows elbows off the table, this is not a horse's stable."**_ Luigi insisted, lifting Erin's elbows up as Mario began serving everyone. "Sorry, my...mother used to say that." He shyly admitted.

"My relationship with MY parents was just fine." Alex insisted quickly. "Couldn't be better! I'm just worried. This is a volatile time period and all centered around a little boy who, for SOME reason, felt his life was so awful that he had to invent a new life for himself. We haven't learned anything about the town's history, but there might be something in **Ness's** that we need to know. Dead parents of his own, perhaps..."

The others looked at their meat loaf, suddenly feeling a little less hungry.

"...well? Should I go spy on him?"

"Well..." Samus rubbed her chin. "Can you pull off being stealthy? I mean, what if you're seen?"

Alex smiled broadly. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a darn." He blinked. "...darn. DARN! Oh, FOOEY! The sooner we're out of this place, the better! I can't stomach every conversation being G-rated!"

Soon, Alex was scaling up Ness's picturesque little white-painted home. All the signs of schlock were there: white picket fence home with a clubhouse in the backyard, a flower garden in a perfect square, bad flowery wallpaper inside...

"Honey, I'm home!" Ness's father called out, Ness sitting in the kitchen with a blond child that was evidently his little sister. She was a cute little thing, with a pretty bow in her hair and a dress to match, and much like him and his family and the others in the town, they all had the same simplistic face and vaguely cartoony body. He approached Ness's mother at the stove as he sniffed at the air, taking his hat off and tossing it onto a hat rack by the door.

"Hello darling! How was your day? How's my big, strong man?" Ness's mother inquired, smiling tenderly at him as the children rushed to hug their daddy.

"Oh, swell!" Mr. Elliot told his wife. "You know, my boss told me that if things continue as they are, I might be seeing that promotion sooner than I thought!"

"Oh darling, that's wonderful!" Mrs. Elliot said, going to the fridge and pulling out a martini for her husband.

"Hey pumpkin...is that your meat loaf I smell? Oh, you sure know your way to THIS man's heart." He told her, kissing her cheek, Alex watching on as Ness raised a hand up. "Yes, son?"

"I won 1st place in the Science Fair!" Ness cheerily told his parents, holding up a small little trophy he'd been keeping in his pants, Alex blinking in surprise that he'd been able to fit it in there. What did he have, Infinite Pocket-Space?

"There were plenty of swell projects, but mine was the swellest!"

Okay, you know what? SWELLEST is not a word. I can't take much more of this! I'm sorry, I really can't! It's too damn "Leave it to Beaver"! PLEASE tell me something happens, Alex!

"You know, there's no such word as "swellest", honey." Mrs. Elliot told her son.

"Well, gee, ma! It wasn't an ENGLISH fair!"

...don't you love it when even the STORY points out inconsistencies? Alex rolled his eyes. Did the little angelic kid have an answer for absolutely everything? He blew the fur from his face. One of the bad perks of being a werewolf at the present time was not being able to see half the time. That and the fleas.

At that moment, the phone rang. Mr. Elliot stepped forward to get it, and Ness's face became greatly pained for several moments as he spoke on the phone. "It's like back then all over again..." He mumbled just loud enough for Alex's super-powerful ears to hear. "Always breadwinner, just a voice on the phone, not a real dad..."

With that, his father suddenly put the phone down, quickly saying it was a wrong number as Alex narrowed his eyes, rubbing his chin thoughtfully with one paw. So, evidently Ness had been lacking in a good parental figure...but he had a feeling there was more to it then that. Much, much more.

...

...

...

...spending a night in a tree had made his limbs stiff. But the good news was that while there WAS a smiling postman and milkman, there was, in fact, no dogcatcher in town. Following after Ness as he walked alongside Claus and his twin brother Lucas, Alex pretended to be just another mutt, thankful the disguise was working so well.

"Hey there, Ness!" A man across the street called, Alex letting the skittish Lucas pat him on the head. "Heard your dad got a new car!"

"Oh yeah, it's swell!" Ness insisted as he and his friends headed for their weekend job. They were the delivery boys on a large paper route much like most of the other boys in town, and evidently worked out of a large garage. Calmly sitting on the grass nearby, Alex watched them get to work, all of the boys packing up their things, getting ready to go out and hit the streets. He tilted his head to the side, faintly certain he could hear...music? A slowly rising crescendo as a blond-haired, porky-looking kid sneered at Claus, who was glaring at him.

_**"Hey, that's my bike!"**_ He complained.

_**"You'll get another."**_ The piggish kid laughed, riding off.

_**"Hey buddies, we got work to do!"**_ Lucas insisted, waving a hand in the air as he handed Claus a stack of papers.

_**"Since when did YOU become me mother?**_"

_** "Aw, stop your bawling!"**_ Ness snapped, Lucas and Claus turning on him.

_**"Who asked YOU?"**_ They both laughed, strapping their piles of newspapers to other bikes as an Asian child checked over a checklist, grinning to himself as Alex watched on in surprise and amazement at what was unfolding.

There were...SINGING! Singing like BIRDS! It was as if this somewhat deprived child was changing his own timeline to better cater to his mind. Walking along, Alex allowed one of the boys to bury his hand into his ruff. There was no sense in being cruel.

_**"I smell money!"**_ The Asian kid laughed.

_**"You smell FOUL!"**_ Ness chuckled.

_**"Met this girl last night!" A kid with glasses told Ness as he put on a "Daily Banner" apron, putting his newspapers in a parcel slung over his back, groaning as he noticed he'd spilled some juice from his belt on his shorts. bi"Move your rear, hand me that towel!"**_ He asked the Asian kid, who waved it in his face.

_**"For a buck I miiiiight!"**_ The Asian laughed, all of the children making their way out into the streets, Alex running down the sidewalk after Ness as he waved a newspaper in the air, leading a battalion of children down the streets.

_**Ain't it a fine life,**_  
_**Carrying the Banner through it all?**_  
_**A mighty fine life!**_  
_**Carrying the Banner, tough and tall!**_

Ness wheeled up to a lady on the corner, giving her a newspaper and tipping his hat at her before pedaling away, now singing SOLO as the others harmonized for him, a broad, proud grin on his face. "Every morning, ridin' where we wishes, we's as free as fishes...sure beats washing dishes! What a fine life...carrying the Banner, home-free all!"

"I hope the others will have better luck than I." He murmured, shaking his head back and forth.

...

...

...

...Mario and Luigi had wisely decided to make use of their skills as plumbers, happily offering their services to Mr. and Mrs. Elliot after their main water line MYSTERIOUSLY combusted. Oh yes! It had absolutely NOTHING to do with a carefully-placed Bo-Omb! Certainly not!

Naturally, Mr. and Mrs. Elliot HAD to leave the house to let the "nice men do their job", and Luigi was now going through Ness's things whilst Mario pretended to look busy in the kitchen for those outside who might be watching. They had to stall for as long as possible.

"Hmm. "We had Geography Class today: we talked about the difference between Main Street and Elm Street. Pokey Minch...angry face, exclamation points...said that "It's not as long". Well, DUH, but it's also got no houses!" Luigi scratched his head. "THAT'S geography class? These kids today. They don't learn a gosh darn thing."

He noticed something in the closet, peeking inside as his eyes widened. It was full of scribbled drawings and sculptures, and all of something...very, very strange. They appeared to be doodles of a singular being, repeated over and over, but...but what the being WAS Luigi couldn't tell. It was some kind of indiscriminate blob, with tiny, tiny eyes, or at least, that's how it seemed. He held one sculpture in his hands, turning it over. No label...no name carved into it...nothing.

What was this thing that Ness was obsessing over? He put the sculpture down, a sudden chill rising in him as he looked at the wall. Something about the way the pictures were arranged felt...oddly familiar.

He left the room, heading down the stairs, past smiling photo after smiling photo of Ness and his family, Mario turning to face his brother. "What is it?"

"You need to see the closet in the kid's room. It's the strangest thing." Luigi said, jabbing his thumb up the stairs, Mario following after as Luigi took his brother's place, pretending to fix the sink as Mario gazed at the closet and the pictures.

"This is so familiar. Where have I seen it before?" He wondered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he stepped back. Maybe it was like a 3-D image, if you looked at it from a distance than-

His eyes widened, a cold wind suddenly chilling his bones.

If you looked at the amalgam of pictures on the closet wall from some distance away...it looked eerily like...

_A sonogram._ He'd seen sonograms during his brief spell as a doctor for the Mushroom Kingdom. THAT'S why it was so familiar. Luigi had, sometimes, even assisted him with such procedures...

"Why would Ness be obsessing over a child?" Mario murmured.

Master Hand's words echoed in his head. "THAT...is the right question."

...

...

...

... "So..."

Erin slapped a pointer stick on a giant chalkboard that had been happily supplied to them from what they were calling the "Closet of Convenience". Anything they needed just had to be pulled right out from the home they were all staying in. Handy, eh?

"We suspect that Ness's father wasn't a good parental figure. He's been obsessing over a baby or a child...possibly a new brother or sister on the way?" Erin mused as they all sat in the living room, Erin pacing back and forth before the chalk board. She'd drawn up figures of Ness and his family, his friends, and various scribbled words like "Sonogram?" and "Musical Numbers" and "Ignore Countdown".

"And we can't ignore the singing." Alex insisted.

"Certainly not! Was it like Nick's?" Samus wondered.

"No, it had a sort of...different feel to it. When he sings, it might be kind off-key, or too loud, but...he's HONEST." Alex admitted, leaning back in the couch. "This was "whistle the worries away" kind of singing."

"Everything about this place is just practically screaming "Ignore the world outside of ol' Pleasantville, USA"." Samus mumbled, frowning deeply. "Tomorrow, you're attending the high school, right? It's just down the road from HIS school and gets out an hour early. You'll have some time to spy on him in a more natural setting. I've got to stay here and..." She shuddered. "...keep...BUSY." She spat the words out like they were toxic.

"Y'know..." Alex said, licking his teeth. "This reminds me of the twilight zone, it's a wonderful life."

"Oh God. He's right. Black and white world...psychic kid...it's only a matter of time before he sends us to the cornfield!" Erin shrieked, legs whacking together.

"Deep breaths. Keep it TOGETHER, girl!" Samus insisted. "We're going to get through this. We just need to, well...phone a friend."

"I don't know ANYTHING about him." Nick murmured on the other end, Pikachu surfing on a dinner plate in the kitchen, a loud CRASH indicating that Nick had more to clean up in addition to the ketchup and mayonnaise spills. "I never PLAYED the series."

"You're JOKING." Samus muttered, holding her head and rolling her eyes as the others stood by, listening in.

"I played SNES games, yeah. But I lacked one of the 3 M's. It was Mario and Mega Man, but no "Mother" series. I first got introduced to Ness from..." Nick looked left, then right. "...Super Smash Bros! And all I know is his name and how he looks and that he's psychic!...and he hates Pokey Minch. A lot."

Alex rubbed his chin. "Pokey Minch...I remember him. He was that unpleasant bike-stealing blond-haired child."

"Then maybe it's time we redirected our efforts a little bit. Think you could do a little research and recognizance on Pokey?" Samus asked, pulling out something from the closet and handing it to Alex as he tried them on. "These are X-Ray Goggles. They'll allow you to see through solid objects."

"Handy!" Alex eagerly grinned, turning to look at the others. "These are bound to be help..." He trailed off, noticing what Luigi was wearing underneath his clothes. "...ful...uhhhh..."

He flicked the goggles off, then on. Off, then on.

"...WHAT?" Luigi asked.

"I'm votin' "no"...on the X-Ray goggles." Alex decided. "I'll just do what I did with Ness, methinks."

"Listen everyone, **I** might not know anything about Ness, but I know somebody who might." Nick spoke up from the phone as Samus raised it back up. "Somebody who kind of owes us **big** time."

"Who?"

...

...

...

... "Okay. We don't have to do this the hard way." Nick said, walking back and forth in front of Jigglypuff as she sat on her bed, stupidly blinking up at him as he wagged a finger in the air. "We really don't. I needn't break out with the off-tune rendition of "Barbie Girl" or anything. I'd just like to know if you and your evil genius buddies in E.G.O had been spying on a little boy named Ness Elliot."

Jigglypuff quickly looked to the side. "No. No, of course not."

"YOU'RE LYING!" A voice yelled angrily from the side, Darth's appearance popping up on her video screen by her bedside, Nick blinking in surprise at the Blind Irken's sudden showing-up. "...oh my. I've been spending far too much time around him."

"_Darithil_." Nick whispered, eyes going wide in surprise. "Y-you're looking GOOD! White's a good color on you." He said, looking the robed Irken over.

"Why, thank you. Wish I could say the same for you." Darth said, grinning and showing off his extra-sharp teeth. "Ms. Jigglypuff knows much of Mr. Ness Elliot, I assure you, as do I." He folded his arms behind him, sighing slightly. "He's concocted the world he lives in out of a sense of guilt."

"...**guilt?**" Nick asked, scratching his head. He made a mental note to have a long TALK with the Irken about apparently being in league with a formerly Evil Genius who most likely wasn't "former".

"Yes. A crippling guilt he felt for something he did a long, long time ago. Tell me...or I won't send you your "Care Package"." Darithil told Jigglypuff as she pouted.

"You big FINK!...oooooo..." She growled darkly, clenching her stubby hands before finally sighing and throwing them up. "Fine, fine. Since I'm from the "Game" realm, I know more than the others, and this is what I know: Ness and his friends fought something. Something big. Something bad. And it's buried SOMEWHERE in that town, but I don't know where, it's been years since I read his file. All I know is the name of the thing."

"What was the name?" Nick wanted to know.

Jigglypuff shrugged. "It was...it..." She blinked. "...I DID know it. I'm sure I did..." She murmured.

Nick scratched his head in confusion. "Could...could Ness's control over that world be so deep and his power so great that ANYTHING connected with that he's trying to keep hidden be buried for EVERYONE? Not just the people in his world?"

"Ripples spread across time and space, time being unwritten by a powerful psychic? That IS intriguing." Darth admitted, chuckling slightly. "I suggest you all keep a very, VERY close eye on Ness, and ask yourself how terrible this thing was, if it was something so twisted that it's very name might be enough to shatter Ness's dream world."

...

...

...

...Ness Elliot lay in bed, murmuring as he tossed back and forth underneath the covers, over and over again, the same words. "No...stop, no, I...I have to, no, stop..."

_Ness...Ness..._

"Stop it! I HAD to! No! Stop!"

_I'm...h...a...p...p...y..._

"No, no...**NO**..."

_It hurts, Ness...it hurts...Ness...Ness..._

Ness woke screaming...panting...his body matted with sweat as he covered his face, shuddering...and still unable to drown out IT'S cries.

_I...feel good...Ness..._


	28. Chapter 28

**CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT**

Meanwhile, earlier in the night, Alex had decided to wisely look in on the piggish little blond boy with the bowl hair cut, the one and only Pokey Minch. From what he'd learned spending time disguised as a dog, hanging out with the kids on their paper route, Pokey was an unpleasant boy, the kind of person nobody wanted to cross. He smelled of egg, was obscenely rich...

And, well, you shouldn't argue with an eight-year-old who shaves.

Right now he wasn't shaving, though. Oh no. Pokey Minch was in the bathtub of his three-story, mansion-esque white home that looked like something from out of a Martha Stewart magazine. There were pillars out front, a BUTLER, the kid had a BUTLER! And his own private bicycle collection! He even had his own golf cart by a large treehouse in the back that was up in a redwood-esque monstrosity of nature, as large as a college dorm room!

Everything about this kid was screaming "I deserve to be robbed". But hey, being a little jerk and being very rich wasn't enough to make Alex dislike him. Oh no.

See, that part had come when he'd been peeking in on Pokey taking a bath, and playing with a toy sailboat.

"Ah, such a simply super day, isn't it Marsha?" Pokey said in a fakey British accent. "Oh yes, just super, Bradley, like this swell boat!"

"Swell, swell, SWELL! If I hear the word "swell" one more time this week I'm going to EAT whoever says it!" Alex promised himself, clenching his claws tightly into the tree as Pokey pretended to have the "British couple" splash around in the lake.

"AAA! AAAAAA! The lake is boiling hot! We're getting scalded! OW! AAAA! OWWWW! GET OUT OF THE WATER!"

"...what the asterix-dollar sign-ampersand?" Alex swore, blinking in surprise.

"I've got second degree burns all over, what kind of lake IS this?" Pokey went on in the fake British accent. "We need medical attention, my dear-wait...why won't the boat turn?" "Oh no, the wind! It's blowing us towards the...the...WATERFAAAAAALL!"

Pokey turned the tub's faucet on, soaking the sailboat and making drowning-esque sounds as Alex stuck his tongue out slightly in disgust, Pokey then lifting the sailboat up. Evidently the wind was carrying it out of the water and...

...into a "whirlpool". Or rather, the toilet.

"IT'S A GIGANTIC WHIRLPOOL! WE'RE GOING DOWN! AAAAAA!" Pokey laughed, his pudgy belly jiggling like pasty jello.

"This kid is sick, sick, sick, sick, sick, sick..." Alex trailed off, climbing down the tree to go spit, he'd vomited a little in his own mouth and needed to brush his teeth.

The next morning, it was time for school, with Alex hiding in the ventilation systems as Samus volunteered her services to assist the school librarian. Ness was having a three-way conversation with the timid Lucas and his brother Claus, who had evidently gotten ahold of some juicy gossip of some kind, judging by the excited way he was talking and the big grin on his youthful face.

"So anyhow, she's not in today, we've got a substitute teacher!"

"I wish I could send in a substitute student, I am NOT feelin' well." Ness mumbled, holding his head. "Not feelin' well at all..."

"Who IS the substitute teacher?" Lucas asked his brother as Claus looked over at his brother.

"Mr. Kneecapper." Claus murmured, looking left, then right before leaning in close to his twin brother and his friend. "I heard he killed a kid last year!"

"REALLY?" Lucas gasped in horror, Ness gulping.

"Yeah, some kid was talking in class, so Mr. Kneecapper took him out in the hall." Claus whispered as they made their way into first period. "And then, for lunch, there were strange lumps in the cafeteria meatloaf that very afternoon!"

"OHHHHH!" Ness and Lucas groaned as they walked inside the room, Samus watching from across the hall in the library. They thought THAT was bad, wait until they saw what was on the day's lunch menu...

Pokey, meanwhile, was trying to get a drink of water. A NASTY thought came to Alex's mind as he slunk down the vent shaft and carefully dug through wall, finding himself right in front of the area in the hall where the water fountain was. He chuckled darkly, his aim true as, a few moments later by some "freak accident", the fountain sprayed Pokey squarely in the face.

"GUAAAAH! ACCCKPTH-BLURBBBB-AAAHHHHKKK!" Pokey staggered back, slipping on the floor and falling on his pasty rear as he struggled to get back up, Samus trying not to laugh at this as he stormed into his classroom. "I'd bet dollars tah donuts the stupid principal has a valve in his office that changes the water pressure!" He swore to his teacher as the class giggled at his misfortune.

Erin, who was offering HER services to the school as assistant in the cafeteria, something she ironically had some experience in, adjusted the hairnet atop her head as she headed into the library to check in on Samus, who was waiting for the head librarian to stop picking at the mole on her lip. Luckily she had a copy of "Ulysses". "Grandpa" didn't raise no sissy, no siree.

"You know, if you didn't have to go every day, didn't have to learn anything and if you didn't have all the teachers and kids, school would be great!" Erin told Samus with a small smile. "Course, a LOTTA things are like that."

"Okay class, it's time for show and tell. Who'd like to go first?" The substitute asked, his moustache bristling with pride over teaching America's brave new generation. Claus raised his hand up, volunteering as he pulled out a bag from his backpack and raced to the head of the class, Ness blinking in surprise.

"Heya, everyone! I've got a big surprise! Three days ago a meteorite landed in my backyard and an alien from the planet Zyklon-B was resting in it! I've been keeping it in this unobtanium-coated bag right here..." Claus patted the bag, carefully not to show that one hand was sticking up into it. "And feeding the alien pure ammonia!"

Ness was twitching uncomfortably in his seat, Alex's eyes narrowing from the air-conditioner he'd hollowed out to make his hiding space as Erin and Samus looked at each other, seeing beads of sweat pop out on Ness's forehead.

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for!" Claus crowed, the "alien" popping out of the bag as he did a very lame "throw your voice" attempt to imitate an extra-terrestrial cry. I mean, you could SEE the dark blue lines on the sock puppet that his hand was in!

"He's definitely gonna be staying after class." Erin told Samus.

"You KNOW, I've MET sock puppet-esque aliens." Samus admitted sheepishly to Erin. "...it got weird. I almost doomed the Galactic Federation when I grabbed their leader by the head and shook vigorously."

"Ooooooch." Erin winced.

...

...

...

...meanwhile, Nick had just finished putting the finishing touches on a very special letter that would be sent to a very special world. Master Hand had insisted, due to "preserving integrity", that Nick not write directly to Lilo or anybody in her household. But luckily, Nick knew someone dear who would be able to keep the secret. Someone who was good at hiding away. Ol' Scratch. Ol' Sport. Experiment 621.

Licking the envelope and putting it outside of the mansion in the mailbox, he lifted the little flag up and headed back inside. Or rather, turned to head back inside. He noticed a package had been left by the mailbox, and decided to bring the oddly circular thing in.

The mansion was fast becoming a home away from home for them all. They couldn't exactly "go back home", not yet...there was still so much for the "Smash Pros" to do. But the good news was that as time had passed...bonds had grown. And Nick was CERTAIN that certain people had...mellowed. Like Bowser, who was actually cleaning his own room and NOT making some random grunt do it for him!

Of course, Bowser had an enormous basement to himself, complete with...well, let's just call it "weird gym equipment". And he was ensuring that Peach get a good look at it all, suggestively smiling, though she was utterly clueless as to what it was all about.

Speaking of "chillin' villains", Nick noticed Mewtwo was sleeping on the couch and idea randomly popped into his hairy head as he tiptoed up to him, snuggling up to the pale-furred ball of psychic might as Pikachu slowly shook his head some distance away. Mewtwo's eyes popped open as Nick began to speak in baby-talk.

"Hewwooooo! Is Mewey-Twoey sweeeepy? Ooh, he's a big **SNOOGIE-WOOGIE**, yes he is!" Nick cooed. "Yes he is, he's a big snoogie-woogie! Hewwo, Snoogie-Woogie!"

CHOMPA-CHUNK!

"GAAAAAAH!" The poor teenager screeched in agony."OW-OW-OW-OW-LEMME GO, YOU BLOODTHIRSTY CARNIVORE-GAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Folks, I'd really like to tell you everything that happened in the next five minutes, but if I did so, I wouldn't be able to sell this book at Wal-Mart. Needless to say, Nick limped off, scratched and bitten and...other things...as he hobbled into his room, Pikachu handing him a towel, and some pills from the medicine cabinet which would relieve the pain from the thing that had been lodged in his rectal cavity.

"I can see why...ow...why t-tabby cats...OW...are more _popular_!" He hissed darkly, looking down at the package as Pikachu gave it back to him, the yellow rodent sympathetically smiling at his friend before leaving him be. Nick frowned slightly, feeling the package's weight.

So...odd. It was heavy, and yet...it tingled his hands. It was almost...buzzing, faintly. He held it to his ears, listening. It almost sounded like...a heart.

He looked at the label for it. It was addressed to Jigglypuff from Darth. He wondered...what if...maybe...maybe the packaging was just light enough to be seen through?

He held it up to the light in his room.

Nooooooope. Nothing doing. Then again, there was always magic music!

"Wait." Nick blinked stupidly, waving a hand in the air. "Hold on. Am I REALLY gonna sneak a peek at Jigglypuff's private mail just because I think it feels weird?" He put a hand to his lip, thinking this over.

_And so I wondered...should I REALLY be going through a girl's stuff?...WOULD I really go through her stuff?...of COURSE I would!_

He held the package up and concentrated, his mind thinking to a song that would fit. _**I can see clearly now, the rain has gone...I can see all obstacles in my way!**_

It worked. Now he was able to see right through EVERYTHING, including the pack-

Unfortunately, the thing in the package had been waiting for Nick to do that. With a giddy cry, the spirit shot straight into Nick's body, the kid's eyes widening, a rainbow glow shining forth from his eyes and mouth as his skin became a lit like diamonds, pale light rising from his skin. He fell to his knees, gaping, his spiritual self made helpless, wrapped in the powerful claws of a creature...

A creature with eyes like stars, and wings of rainbow. It looked deep into him.

"Grey. Your name is Grey. A color name. I like that." The dragon spoke, his voice kindly and melodious. "I am Sude, Cornerstone of Light. And...and I am sorry."

Nick couldn't quite "hear" it so much as "feel" what it was saying. And even the manner in which it was speaking was one not of words, but of...of ideas. Ideas being expressed in a vaguely montage-like fashion of images.

"I am truly sorry, but I need...to make use of you. It's for a good cause believe me."

"Let me go." Nick managed to say.

"You must sleep now." The draconic, white-scaled being spoke gently as Nick struggled in the silver-clawed grip of the thing. There was no hatred, no cruelty in the being's eyes as it slightly tightened its grip, merely a sad solemnity.

"No! I won't!"

"Sleeeeeeeep."

"No...I...I..."

"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep..."

"...I..."

"..."

...

...

...

...Ness sat down to a blond-haired girl, smiling at her in a goofy fashion, one eyebrow raised high. "Heya, Paula! Guess what I brought for my lunch today?"

"Oh, NO. NO!" Paula insisted, shaking her bobbish hairstyle back and forth over and over, eyes narrowed."I don't want to hear about whatever disgusting thing you've got in your lunch, Ness Elliot!" She waved a hand in the air, growling at him. "It's always "thanks for the salt, these slugs are so chewy 'till you shrivel them up" or "My mom packed COW PIE, want a fresh piece" whenever I talk to you!"

"Er, well, actually, my lunch is peanut butter." Ness told her, mumbling nervously as he waved a "chunky" peanut butter sandwich, Erin watching him from the cafeteria serving line, looking amused. "See? It's not disgusting at all."

"...fine. I'm glad once a year, you can be civil." Paula mumbled, chomping into her own peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"It's my DESSERT that's gross!" Ness chuckled, waving it in the air. "Look! A thermos full of phlegm!"

Erin visibly turned green, Paula letting out a loud "YEEEEECCCHHH" as she vomited squarely on-

"...great. Now I need to BUY lunch." Ness mumbled as he stomped his way over to Erin's station as she nervously, still trying to keep HER lunch down, gave him a tray. Ness nervously glanced down at what was in front of him, a greenish, strange glob that he frowned at, blinking stupidly as he brought it to his table and poked it slightly.

"It's DIGUSTING."Ness yelled back at Erin.

"Oh, if you don't like how it looks, just use your imagination, pretend it's something else!" Erin told him, hands on hips.

"...pretend it's...something...hmm." Ness frowned down at the strange blob as, suddenly, it rose up, stubby little hands held on chest.

"To be? Or NOT to be? Sigh...THAT is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune...or to take arms against a sea of troubles...and by opposing..." The blob grabbed the fork from the tray, stabbing it into itself. "END THEM!"

Ness gaped at this. Nobody else in the cafeteria seemed to notice the sudden change in, well, cafeteria food. He tilted his head slightly, looking down at the monologue-giving blob."...uhhhh..."

"To die; to sleep...no more! And by a sleep we say, end the heartache and the THOUSAND natural shocks that flesh is heir to...'tis consummation devoutly wished!" It exclaimed. "To sleep, perchance to dream, ay, THERE'S the rub! For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil must give us pause!"

The blob then plopped back into the tray and Ness blinked stupidly. "...huh? Is that it?"

Then the blob rose back up, holding a spoon to its lips."FEEEEELINGS! WO-WO-WO-"

Well, Ness couldn't take anymore. He jammed the whole blob in his mouth, Lucas walking over and patting him on the back. "Wow, you finished all of that in one gulp? That's pretty nice!"

"...I'm never having this EVER again." Ness insisted, as the bell for study period rang and he headed to the library.

Then again...it had been fun to imagine. Very fun, he thought to himself, grabbing a book labeled "A Glance At the Stars: The Planets and You". He sat down with Lucas and Claus as Lucas held up a copy of "Mr. Fred's Farm", a cartoony storybook. "I love my school books. Soon we'll have read ALL the books in this library...if they all turn non-blank, anyhow." He sighed. "I wanna read the big books, and learn new stuff. I think thathaving a book's like having a good friend with you."

"If you read the pages of MY book, an animated T-Rex drives a train and crashes it into "Mr. Russia", the evil communist supervillain!"Claus laughed.

"Sometimes I think books are the ONLY friends worth having." Lucas sighed.

Pokey Minch, though...he'd noticed Ness's uncomfortability in class and the oddness regarding Ness's "dinner and a show". Deep-set eyes frowning, he ducked back behind a library shelf, sneaking out and heading for the bathroom as Alex listened in from within a stall, ear held high as Pokey made a call.

"C'mon. Pick up. Pick uuuuup..." Pokey growled.

At the shadowy headquarters of Evil Genius Organization, "Perry"was-

"PERCIVAL! I mean-GAAAAH! IT'S **EMPEROR!**"

Wow, his hearing is REALLY good. Tachyon was meeting with Dedede to discuss their various more annoying co-workers at an evil picnic with coffee and donuts. Because no evil company outing was complete without coffee and donuts, obviously. Tachyon waved a chocolate frosted with sprinkles in the air. "I must insist, the frosted variety is FAR superior to the crumb."

"But nothin' beats the good, ol' fashioned double chocolate." Dedede told him, the other villains also mingling with each other as Dedede's phone rang loudly and he nervously blushed, the party halting as they watched him look through his enormous bedrobe-esque kingly attire.

"_**We'll shove a boot up your ass, courtesy of the red white and bluuuuue!**_"

"I've got it, I've got it! It's Dedede, talk to me!"

"We need to talk, "Pebble and the Penguin"." Pokey muttered, Dedede frowning darkly, brow furrowing as he made his way over to the punch table. "Ness is beginning to use his imaginaaaaaaation. He made his lunch sing."

"...are you serious? SING?" Dedede asked, blinking slightly, scratching his head under his cap.

"Sing? You call that SINGING?" Darth yelled angrily, the Irken holy man holding his three-clawed hands over his vaguely olive-esque head where his "ears" were as Dark Link blubbered out a disgusting love song.

_**I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lips!  
I take a healthy bite from your dainty fingertips!**_

_**My joy would be complete dear, if you were only here!**_

_**But still I keep your hand as a precious souvenir! **_

"Hmm. Can you keep an eye on him this afternoon?"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU DISASTROUSLY DEAF-TONED DOPPELGANGER DELINQUENT!" The Muridean member of E.G.O bellowed at Dark Link, shaking powerful tiny fists at the white-haired being as he kept playing the piano, Emperor Tachyon loading up a small carbine pistol to do his "good deed for the day".

_**I'm sorry now, I killed you...**_

_**Our love was something fine!**_

_**Until they come to get me...**_

_**I shall hold thy hand in m-**_

**BUDDA-BOW!**

Dark Link was forcibly knocked into the piano as Tachyon moved over to the piano himself, smirking darkly as he began to play a song of his own, every time he pressed a key a tiny little hammer smacking into Dark Link inside of said piano.

_**I ache for the touch of your lips, dear!**_

_**But much more for the touch of your whips, dear!**_

_**You can raise welts like nobody else,**_

_**As we dance to the Masochism Tango!**_

"Heh-heh-heh." Dedede chuckled, hearing Dark Link's cries of pain. "Er, uh..." He recomposed himself and turned away from the piano and the massively uproarious horde of villains that were filled with laughter over Dark Link's pain. "Could you keep an eye on that little ol' brat?"

"Sure, he's just-"

"-looking for frogs!" Ness told Lucas and Claus as he glanced around the creek in the forest, adjusting the baseball cap. "I must obey the inscrutable exhortations of my soul!"

"Naturally." Lucas said, even though he had NO idea what the hey that Ness was talking about in the slightest.

"My mandate also includes weird bugs." Ness admitted as he glanced around the creek, Claus suddenly yelling out.

"EWWW! Look! THAT bug's eating THIS bug!" He told his brother, Lucas and Claus groaning and sticking their tongues out in disgust. "BLEEEECH!"

"GROSS!"

"Icky-icky-icky-icky!" Ness moaned, the bug halfway done with it's meal. "I can't believe I just looked at that! GUAAAAH!"

"Yeah. Great experiences like this are even better when they're shared, don'tcha think? You guys are practically brothers to me." Claus laughed, clapping Lucas and Ness on the back as Samus watched from far away using a telescope, glancing slightly to the far right to see Pokey was also watching Ness intensely. She frowned, ducking back behind several ferns as she took out her communicator. "Pokey is DEFINITELY behind this." She whispered to Mario and Luigi, who had returned to Ness's house to find more things.

It was then that Ness heard a chuckling voice and he turned his head, noticing a small, vaguely mammalian-esque creature of hot silvery/blue color with a long tail and a head with vaguely tufty "ears"

A creature of color.

_OF COLOR_.

It giggled, holding tiny paws over a little mouth as it picked up a stone, tossing it up and down in a paw before launching it.

THWONK! It clonked Lucas on the head, making him burst into tears as Claus held his brother gently by the shoulder, Ness growling angrily at the thing. "HEY!"

"No use tryin' to get them to listen to you. You're the only one who can see me, Ness." It spoke in an ethereal voice, spreading it's arms wide. "And you'll never stop me. You just can't believe." It giggled, bouncing away through the forest.

"Oh YEAH?" Ness laughed, standing tall as Samus kept watching.

Was she seeing what she thought she was seeing? Was that a real alien? She didn't recognize the species.

"Normal, ordinary 8-year-old Ness may be unable to catch you, but NOTHING'S impossible for..."Ness grabbed his shirt and tore it away, suddenly CHANGING before Samus's eyes. Now he was dressed in a bluish futuristic outfit with a black visor over his eyes, red boots and gloves to match, and a small plasma pistol. "ELLIOT, SPACE EXPLORER SUPREME!"

"Explorer...Elliot?" Samus repeated, watching Ness race through the for-wait...it wasn't a forest...now it was changing, ALL of reality was morphing and stretching and altering in color as Claus and Lucas vanished from her sight. What had been greyish/white trees were stretching out and meshing together, forming enormous, reddish buttes with wide mountain ranges all around. A deep gorge formed some distance before her as the sky began to change from silvery/grey to orangish/yellow, an acrid, tangy smell filling the air as Samus found herself changing, back in her normal armored attire.

"You'll never catch ME, Explorer Elliot!" The thing laughed triumphantly as Elliot raced after it, both of them rushing towards the gorge as Samus barreled after them, panting slightly, her head racing. For Samus Aran had BEEN in a situation like this, someone of a heroic spirit longing for something they felt they really needed, approached by a "villain", as Nick might say, and with that villain warping all reality based on a desire. Samus had held a deep desire in her heart for a different life, a less lonely life, a life without the Galactic Federation on her ass, a life that had the comfort and security she'd wanted for so long...and...

And she'd wanted someone to share that life with. That's why...

...she refocused on Ness, shaking her head back and forth as the young "spaceman" leapt over the gorge like Evel Knievel over the Grand Canyon, grabbing ahold of the alien and slamming hard into the ground on the other end. The two tussled around, whacking and biting and punching as Ness happily crowed how "Explorer Elliot Has Fists Of Furious Iron", which was both fists of fury AND of iron, meaning they were doubly stupendous.

The alien then whacked him in the head with its prehensile tail, sticking a small bluish tongue out. "BLAH! Words, words, WORDS!" it laughed, pushing Ness off him and waving his little arms in the air, doing a mocking imitation of the boy's voice. "This is you: blaugh-uhl, blaugh-uhl, blaugh-uhl!"

Ness promptly shot up, pulling his ears wide and imitating the ALIEN'S words. "Well this is YOU: ugha-ugha-ugha!"

"Blaugh-uhl-blaugh-uhl!" The alien crowed, waving it's arms widely in the air as it dance/stomped around Ness, sticking it's tongue out and blowing loud raspberries...

Getting a BIT too close to the gorge...and then stubbing it's foot on a rock nearby.

The alien screeched in horror, arms spiraling in pinwheels as it tried to re-right itself before it fell down to a horrible, painful, ending-in-a-pancake fate...

Luckily, Samus was there. She leapt across the gorge, plowing straight into the alien and knocking it down to the ground as she tucked and rolled, Ness racing to the alien being and helping it up as it glared at Samus. "You practically broke my back and...and saved...my life..." He murmured quietly. "...BUT **OW**! MY **BACK**!" It howled out. "A little assistance, please!"

"You can stay at my house if you promise to behave." Ness offered, the area around them beginning to fade like an early morning dream as Samus scratched her helmeted head thoughtfully. Soon they had returned to the forest, with Ness back in his normal attire, the alien looking squarely into eyes of-

Blue. Ness's eyes were blue now. And his outfit. It was now DEFINITELY colored, just like SHE was now in color. True, she'd changed back to her "street clothes", but she could see the fleshy tones on her hands, she could see the bright blue shade of the sky, even! Color. Real color. Ness helped the alien up as it looked around, intrigued by this sudden change of events before rubbing it's back and quietly whimpering.

"Alright...alright. I'll stay at your domicile, Earthling being. For now."

"I'm Ness. Ness Elliot." Ness told the alien as he carefully carried the alien on his back, Samus leading them back home through the forest. "That's Ms. Aran, she works at my school. What's your name?"

"Gig." It told them simply. "Just Gig."

...

...

...

... "Get out of my body!" Nick's spirit yelled, imprisoned within his body, smacking his fists against a large crystalline square in a large grassy knoll by a single tree with a tire swing, his "soul plane". He screamed over and over at Sude's spirit as it sighed sadly, turning back to control over his stolen form. Nick's body was now leaving the room, headed down the steps. "What're you after?"

"I was informed by a certain benefactor who helped aid my return to the physical plane. I've got to deal with a few troublesome folks. Please don't interfere." The harmonious-sounding dragon insisted kindly. "It requires travelling to another world, naturally, but I'm not worried over THAT! Being a deity has benefits." Sude went on.

It then noticed Mewtwo slumbering on the couch as Nick got an idea. "Awww, he looks so cuuuuute. Couldn't you just give 'em a great big horse kiss?" He said in his most cutesy-esque tone he could muster, putting clasped hands to his chin.

Sude rubbed Nick's stolen hands together and rushed forward, putting his mouth on Mewtwo's tummy, a loud BRRRRPPPPBBBTTTT echoing through the air as Mewtwo let out a "WHAAAAAAA?" cry.

Five minutes later, Sude's stolen body was limping out the mansion, mumbling in annoyance. "Bet you thought that'd bring me down, you dirty little cheat, you dirty bird you!"

"Crud, crud, crud. I guess third time's the charm." Nick thought to himself as Sude spread Nick's arms wide, a shimmering whitish/silver portal rippling overhead as he was lifted up into a sweltering, humid zone, trees towering far all around him as he smelled something odd...

Fire?

FIRE!

Sude whipped his stolen head to the far right, seeing snakes, birds, tigers and wild pigs running for their life from a burning wildfire that was racing through the overgrown jungle. Flowers of pinkish and blue were being alit with flame as the temperature began to spike, Sude gulping slightly.

"Oh. Well, THAT'S not good." He murmured, racing along with the animals as fast as he could.

"I'M not scared. I can't die." Nick laughed. "Let's see how YOU do, though, "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"!"

THUCKA-WHAM! All of the animals and Nick's possessed body slammed into a strange, invisible forcefield-esque thing as an annoyed-looking gorilla ambled over to them, opening up some kind of doorway and hurrying them all inside before he closed it, the fire being halted by the forcefield as the brown-furred gorilla growled angrily at the human. "You should be more careful!" He told the human as the animals were herded off by various other clothed gorillas. Indeed, this one had a fascinating-looking red and yellow tie with a fine labcoat and a nice, horn-rimmed pair of spectacles, and he waved a thick hand in the air, wagging his finger disapprovingly at Nick.

"Er...sorry?" Sude said through Nick's mouth. "My sincerest apologies, good sir. Where am I?"

"We call it...XANADU." The gorilla laughed, clapping his hands as the "forcefield" now revealed it's true form. They were in an enormous, crystalline dome that contained a futuristic city with gleaming ivory and blue towers, dozens of gondolas made of gold and thousands of upright-walking gorillas all around. "Welcome, welcome! My name is Dr. Kong. Pleasure to meet you!" He said, taking Nick's stolen hand in his and shaking vigorously, making Nick shake wildly, actually lifting the surprised teen off his feet.

"V-v-very n-nice t-to-meet-you-t-t-toooo!" Sude said through Nick's mouth, body flailing around.

Meanwhile, Samus was whispering the details to Erin in the library about the afternoon alien encounter she'd had yesterday as they watched Ness try to explain what had happened to him in "Show and Tell" in his homeroom, but to the rest of the world, "Gig" appeared to be nothing more than a stuffed, mutated tiger-thingy.

Sighing slightly as he sat back in his chair with Gig resting underneath, Ness listened to the teacher speak as he folded his hands in his lap, wishing the others could see what he saw. Could it be, he wondered, because he was in color and they weren't that they couldn't understand the truth?

He had no idea Pokey was watching him, gripping his pen so tightly that Alex, watching from the vent shaft behind, thought for sure the little yellow jerkwad was going to ram it into Ness's brain stem.

Now it was Claus's turn to go up. "This show and tell, I don't really have anything to show the way that Ness did, though I think his toy is, well...uh...swell!" He decided.

Ness sighed slightly. "Swell..." He mumbled. "...swell, swell, swell...blaaauuugh. We need a new word."

"But I'll TELL you what." Claus told the class, grinning triumphantly. "When I'm at school, my mom puts on a heroic blue and white patriotic cape with a leotard and knee-high boots, and she fights crime as a super heroine named "Ms. America". I hope you're all duly impressed." He told them, bowing deeply. "Thank you very much."

"Show ME that outfit sometime." Gig chuckled slightly as Ness laughed.

"I think that was really swell, Claus!" Lucas said happily. "Makes me wish I'd brought more than this." He said, holding up a brown paper bag as he headed to the front of the class. "I know it isn't much, but this little guy is special to me, he can..."

Lucas looked inside, gulped, then, in a squeaky, strained voice looked back up at the class. "...er...uh...have you all had your shots?"

...

...

...

... "And THAT'S why you came home early yesterday?" Ness's mother inquired as his father finished up a telephone call.

"Three teachers, one cafeteria lady, a librarian, the janitor and the principal couldn't restore order, Mom." Ness sighed sadly as Gig read the newspaper.

"Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood..." Gig quoted from the article on the "Mayhem at School".


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: I'm still down in West Virginia, but luckily, I've managed to get some good writing in. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter! :D  
**

**CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE**

Ness was fast asleep as Gig nestled himself outside in the tree near his bedroom window, speaking through a floating tele-vid screen to the Cragmite Emperor Tachyon, who looked rather amused by Gig's new lot in life.

"...so you can see how ironic it is that we two children of similar fortune find ourselves playing "buddy-buddy" to the very beings that brought about our downfall." Tachyon finished, gesturing at Gig. "The same species...the same MEMBERS of the species."

"I am surprised Ratchet has not slain you."

"Angela has been putting in VERY good words for me. She spun a lovely tale of remorse. Have you done the same?"

Gig's face was set like stone, but a cruel glint flashed in his eye as his words became cold and biting. "There's something else we have in common. Matricide and Patricide."

That wiped the smug smirk off of Tachyon's face. "...don't you ever...EVER...talk about it like that." He hissed quietly. "I took no joy in her death. I still weep for her."

"You enjoyed HIS death."

"He...had...his...chance. I offered to spare his life, he choose HIM over-" Tachyon looked to the side, growling angrily before he "harrumphed". "And what of you? Did you enjoy feeling the life ebb out from sweet Maria as you killed her?"

"I will never say I enjoyed it. But I can never, ever forget it." Gig murmured. "...I loved her."

"...as did I."

"...it seems sad that we must be this way." Gig realized softly as he lowered his head, shaking it back and forth. "...we didn't need to be. But Fate had no love for us."

"I don't believe in fate, my friend. But I believe in poor circumstances." Tachyon said quietly. "And we were given many. I think it's time we crawled back up the ladder...don't you?"

"..."

"Eventually...you'll have to do it. If I were you, I'd do it quickly...quietly. While he's sleeping..." Tachyon crooned.

Gig crushed the tele-vid broadcaster in his clawed paws, growling angrily as his tail whipped back and forth, Tachyon being unable to hear his final curses. It was a good thing Ness was asleep through it all...

Ness. What was he to do, Gig thought to himself as he hovered back inside, going back to rest on the young dibbun's bed. What was he to do?

...

...

...

...Dr. Kong was a cheery, albeit rather dull-faced gorilla, and he was quite eager to explain the mechanics behind the beautiful city of Xanadu that his people called their home. Each home was brightly-lit and shiny like a brand new banana, with the sweet smell of fruit lingering all around. Sude and his "host" had no idea what type of cleaner the gorilla people used, but it was smelled FANTASTIC.

As the nice gorilla doctor led the possessed Nick further into the city, having finished with a long discussion on the history of the road they were walking on and why it was not only named "St. Grodd's Street" but what had happened on May 12th, 1982 (a terrible accident involving several thousand tons of vanilla cream). What really caught Nick...or rather, the Entity of Life SUDE'S attention, was a building that looked unmistakably like a gigantic church. There was a church. There was a the door...

"Lookit all the people!" Nick managed to get out from his own mouth, Sude speaking the very same words as Dr. Kong led them inside, dozens of gorillas all seated at pews and reading books alongside of upright-walking, slightly humanioid-built lizards. Nick KNEW what these things were, he could vaguely recall them from his days of playing "Donkey Kong Country 2".

"Kremlings, Apes, we got ourselves a newcomer to Xanadu. He's another actual man. A real human! Now we've got TWO! Everyone say "hello" to our new guest, eh wot?" Dr. Kong laughed cheerily, giving Nick a hearty clap on the back that almost floored him.

Every single Kremling and Ape turned their head, cheerily smiled, and let out a loud, proud, "HOWDY, NEIGHBOR!"

"Er...hello?" Sude said through Nick's mouth, waving sheepishly with his stolen hands as Dr. Kong led Nick to an empty spot so they could get a good view of the services, which were taking place in front of an enormous golden statue of some kind of lizard-like being with bumpy shoulders, a slightly rounded muzzle and deep, powerful-looking eyes of ivory and black diamond that seemed to pierce your very soul. Beneath it stood an ape, quite possibly the ugliest, most wrinkled and most clever-looking ape that Nick had ever seen. He had a very squat-looking face, looked VERY old...

"Dear lord I can smell him from all the way back here." Sude mumbled inside of Nick's mind, his spirit continuing to keep a firm, yet still gentle grip on Nick's own. He was trying to be as gentle as he could with the human, he didn't wish to harm the young dibbun, certainly not. The death or harming of a child was a sin to true dragons, a terrible, terrible one. "He reeks of magic and lies and ego."

"He smells like egg. The bad ones ALWAYS smell like egg." Nick's spirit agreed as Sude spoke up, raising a hand. Or rather, NICK'S hand.

"Er, excuse me, uh...father-who's-name-I-don't-know. You're a human as well? How long have you been here?"

"Why I've been here for three centuries my boy, I've been teaching these men the way of Inthra for eons. I'm quite an old man, you know. Don't go thinking I'm an ape. If I look like an ape, it's because I'm so incredibly old, and because I'm old, I'm wise, and it's because I'm wise that I happen to be the only one that the ever-powerful, all-knowing, DEFINITELY NOT TAME Inthra will speak to."

"Yes, he's not a TAME god." Everyone in the church insisted as Sude frowned darkly inside of Nick's mind. It was him. It was DEFINITELY him.

"Not a word through the ceremony." Sude whispered to Nick's spirit. "I need to extend my soul out into this church...look through it in secret. I'm letting you keep your body, but I'll need you to do what I say. There's dark magic lingering everywhere, and I imagine that a very close...FRIEND...of mine...helped your "Doctor Kong" change his world into what you see here. That's the way things had been with the others, is it not?"

Nick nodded inwardly. "Yes, sir."

"Good! Now remember...just watch, listen. Keep your eyes peeled." With that, Sude's spirit vanished from Nick's body, and Nick shivered slightly, feeling his form return to normal as he, and only he, saw a white sliver of flame flicker around the large golden statue as the priest went on.

"Can I get an AMEN?"

"AMEN, Father Rule!"

"So as I was saying to this worshipper the other day, he spoke often of the "One God" that the Arcadians prayed to, and the "One God" that the Seraphi had prayed to and the "One God" that humans pray to."

Nick frowned at this. The being hadn't referred to God in the right way. If he'd really been a human, he would have said something like "The One God we humans pray to" or "The God that humans like me pray to". This father was fishy.

"And I tell him quite simply. It's just other names for the same thing. All those old ideas of you being right and so-and-so being wrong, that doesn't work. They might use different words, but they all mean the same thing."

"I'm going to be sick." Nick gurgled out as he looked away, holding a hand over his head and biting into his lip.

"I think that examining religious mythology is fascinating, personally." Doctor Kong admitted to Nick as he chuckled slightly, patting the kid on the head. "Here. Do what I did when I got sick to death of the sermons: read a book. Excellent stories." He picked up a nearby book in one of the compartments in the back of each pew, grabbing one that wasn't too well-worn and giving it to Nick. The human nodded politely, looking through the book, smiling slightly as he glanced down at the pages. Such fascinating stories!

Evidently, the religion was called "Tashvishtraism". It was named after the prophet "Tash", who, according to the beliefs of the people of Xanadu, had brought the "Twelve Laws of the Great One" for all to live by. He'd even laid an egg that had then promptly birthed the God before their eyes, allowing him to take a physical form.

Not only that, evidently the statue was the God itself! After going through a dozen or so adventures involving flamingos, giant crocodiles, boxing matches and bananas (the last bit being used in ways that made Nick blush VERY deeply and want to vomit), the God had turned into a statue, being coated in...

Dear LORD, was that even POSSIBLE?

...THAT many people?

...how could you FIT all...

...with a MELON?

Nick snapped the book shut, pulling his lower lip over his upper, eyes slightly bugging out as he decided that was PLENTY of learning about foreign religions for ONE night. Luckily though, the service was almost over. Soon everyone was leaving the place, Nick saying he'd like to stay behind to "look around and the really nice-looking church". Doctor Kong had agreed, telling him to meet back up with him at his laboratory, which he "couldn't possibly miss".

Waiting until everyone was long gone, Nick finally spoke up. "We're alone. We can talk."

"That's good." Sude's voice spoke as his physical form manifested, wings holding him up in the air as he pointed an accusing finger at the gold statue. "CUZ I GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU, YOU GREAT GOLD GLOB OF GREASY, GRIMY GOPHER GUTS!"

"Saw right through me, didn'tcha?" The "statue" laughed in a deep, booming voice as it lowered itself on one knee, shrinking visibly before Nick's eyes, wings busting free from it's shoulders as it transformed itself into a green/gold-scaled dragon with a big smirk.

How...odd. His voice wasn't just booming, it was like giant drumbeats...and Sude's own voice sounded so oddly like a giant orchestra playing all at once, sweet music formed into words of power. This being was obviously one of his kind...did all of them speak like this?

"Verminthrax." Sude mumbled darkly. "Lord of the Dark Forest."

"I like it when you say my full title." Verminthrax chuckled as he folded his arms, standing before Sude as his slimy, webby wings folded closely to his roided-up muscles. "Is this your little "Varati"? The angelic host you've chosen to bond with in the defense of Life?"

"He's a defender of life, but he's not mine." Sude insisted, a small smile flickering across his face. _"Not yet."_

"Might I ask why you're here to spoil my fun?" Verminthrax chuckled.

"You've been manipulating these people into worshipping you. I can't allow you to keep doing that." Sude said calmly, firmly. "Religion is yet another way of discovering how the worlds work, and much like the other paths, there are right methods of discovering the truth, and wrong methods. Just as some formulas shall always be right, just as there is solid truth to be found in the sciences so is there solid truth to be found in faith. You are building your faith on a lie. I can't agree with that."

"But they're happy, Sude. If you knew how happy I've made them..." Verminthrax chuckled, calmly waltzing out of the church, vanishing into a flame that whisked through the air, Sude mumbling incoherently before he took off after, Nick rubbing his chin as he heard a faint chuckling from behind him.

He slowly turned around, seeing "Father Rule" chuckling darkly as golden beams of light swirled around him, his skin shifting and sagging, muscles bulging as his form became scaly and dark, a pair of slit-pupil eyes gazing intently at new prey. King ...leader of the Kremlings.

"So you were onto me, eh? I knew I'd have to act swiftly the moment I sensed Sude's power. I'll deal with you here and now, fool. You're no "Varati", just a useless fool from across the galaxy." King K. Rool said, spinning a sharp-looking golden scepter with a reptilian head around as Nick took up a fighting position.

"I feel bad about messing up a church, but since it's god is practically Satan with an alligator head, I don't think I'll feel as bad beating your head in with a pew and screaming 'The Power of Christ Compels You'." Nick admitted, leaping through the air, throwing a punch as King blocked with the scepter, grunting as he forced Nick back, then swung his tail at the kid.

Nick managed to duck, and then was forced to jump to avoid another sweep as Nick panted, "jump-roping" over and over again. "See my name is Nicky, tofu's really icky..." He sang out.

"You think this is a JOKE? You affront a GOD, you foolish little worm!"

"There's that 'fool' insult again." Nick commented, spinning through the air and leaping away, River-dancing his way around King as the being's reptilian-headed scepter glittered brightly, eyes a-glow as it launched a burst of flame that passed over his head, barely missing. _**"Call me afool! What's it to you! I knew she'd be my cup of tea..."**_ He sang out cheerily.

"Such a shame about your girl, Ms. Pelekai." King chuckled darkly.

Nick...stopped...the song. His eyes slowly widened, his voice becoming a croak of a growl. "...what."

"Sweet little child. Not long for this world. Oh such FUN my organization will have with her! I must admit, you set us back quite a bit now that Mother Brain is gone, but we'll just have to make do. And poor Kirby. If only that dumb little marshmallow knew that he was the LITTLE FISH-"

"What...did...you...do." Nick hissed. "If you've hurt EITHER of their worlds...if you've hurt one HAIR on my Lilo's head-"

"You're so predictable."

Nick stiffened, suddenly yelping as he realized the bottom of his vest was on fire. **"OHMYGODI'MONFIRE!"** He screamed, rushing around the church as laughed and laughed and laughed at the poor kid's misfortune.

SPLOOOOOOSH!

He dunked his butt in the holy water, letting out a long sigh. "THAT'S what I call a baptism." He sighed out, leaping out and then, well, grabbing ahold of a pew, lifting it up, King stupidly blinking his dull reptilian eyes.

"Oh. You were serious about the pew thingie." The reptilian ruler of the Kremlings murmured, the shadow of his church's pew falling over him as a bell rang overhead.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"

...

...

...

... "Tell me about this quality." Gig inquired of Ness as the two of them sat atop a tall cliff that overlooked an endless pit, Samus sitting nearby as Ness scratched Alex's head, making him-

No, it wasn't "purring". Tough guys didn't purr. It was "growling friendly-like".

"It's called "color"." Ness informed the alien being, waving a hand in the air. "See? See the way there's different...things...around us? Back at my home town, that thing you see..." He pointed at a far-off butte. "It doesn't look that. Or...me. Take a look at me." He put his hands on his chest. "This shirt. It was the same size. Same length, width, all of that stuff!"

"It's a nice shirt." Samus complimented.

"Yep! I got it from Macintyre's. "For the very best in men's attire, head right down to Macintyre!"

"...riiiight." Samus remarked.

"But this...everything else bit...the color...that wasn't there. It was all so different. But now there's more colors like this appearing everywhere." Ness went on.

"We didn't really HAVE this kind of stuff back where I'm from." Gig admitted, nodding as he took a small rock and launched it into the gorge, listening for several minutes before deciding that by the time it hit the bottom, they'd be covered in webs. "I think we did at one point...back and back and back. We relinquished that when we relinquished sunshine and hills and snow. We got control over many things, but...lost all control of others."

"Did you still have THESE?" Alex found himself saying with a slight chuckle, pulling out something he'd snuck with him and handing it to Gig, making the alien's eyes widen as he looked inside.

"Ooooooh! You finally invented books, eh?"

"Uh, actually...we invented them BEFORE computers..." Samus admitted, making Gig give her a "Whaaaaa" kind of look as Ness gave the same to Alex.

"Crikey. A talking dog!" He remarked.

"I'm from...outside your little hamlet." Alex informed the kid.

"What's outside of town?"

"Well...uh..." Alex tried to think of how to describe it. He put a finger to his lips. "There are some places where the road doesn't go in a circle. It keeps going. In fact, it ALL keeps going! Roads and rivers...like the mighty Mississippi!"

"The pages...have been filling in. More and more." Alex realized. "...how?"

"Truth be told, I've read many Earth books." Samus admitted. "I might be from a human colony in the stars, but even I know about Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. I started telling Ness about my favorites last night..."

"What IS this "Huckleberry Finn" about? What happens after this "part with the raft"? It's only going up to the part with the raft." Gig complained as Ness and Alex peeked into the book, over the alien's shoulder.

"Well...Huck and his friend, the slave, were going up the riverto get free, but in trying to BECOME free, they realize they're free already." Samus explained.

And with that, the pages began to fill in right before their eyes, all of their eyes widening as more and more words formed on the pages, with pictures to accompany them.

"Amaaaazing." Gig whispered, Alex holding paws to his lips.

"Wow...I...by golly, this sure is somethin' new!" Ness murmured. "But I've got a BETTER idea!" He laughed, jumping up and pointing dramatically at the heavens, his getup transforming as he once more became "Explorer Elliot", pointing down into the canyon-esque gorge as a gigantic glider appeared to their right.

"Ooh boy." Alex chuckled, rubbing his paws together.

"Here we are, poised upon the precipice of "Guts and Gore Gorge", our only tool a flimsy, near-unsteerable glider!

Gig waved a little flag in the air. "Oyez! Oyez!"

"The mind recoils in horror to imagine the awful descent that awaits us! It's a thousand-foot vertical drop onto heaven-knows-what, spiky pricker vines lining the walls...a journey calculated to exceed the human capacity for blinding fear!"

"So there's no seat belts."

"Nope." Ness said firmly.

"Turning Signals."

"Nope."

"Brakes?"

"None."

"Steering?"

"None."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Gig inquired, gripping the right-hand side of the glider as "Explorer Elliot" joined him, the two of them taking off through the air, the wings of the glider carrying them across a thermal that lifted them through the mighty canyon.

"I'm going to start counting." Samus chuckled wryly as Alex hopped atop her armored suit, Samus firing up her suit's jet boots as she shot through the sky, watching the two "flying aces" make their way across the canyon...only to finally come crashing into a giant hill, go rolling down it into a giant pricker bush, and then finally come to a halting CRUCHA-CRASH as they slammed into a giant rock.

Grunting angrily, Gig and Ness stomped away from the rock, over to Samus and Alex as the two touched down. "Is starboard to the right or the left?" Ness asked.

"It's to the right." Samus said.

"SEE?" Ness yelled at Gig. "I TOLD you! Starboard is RIGHT! PORT is left!"

"Okay, so I was wrong for once in my life! It happens! The PSI Lords aren't ALWAYS omnipotent!"

"I know what'll cheer you up." Ness said cheerily to the bluish/white-skinned alien, rubbing his head against the alien as "Dry Gulch" faded away, being replaced with the forest that they usually went romping through. "Hewwooooo! Giggy-Wiggy's a nice, FWIENDLY puddy! Oh yes he is, yes he is!"

FIVE...SECONDS...LATER...

"Want me to pull you out?" Alex asked Ness as Samus and Gig walked off, Ness trying to tug himself free from the tree hollow.

"...I guess PSI Lords don't like to be called "puddies". Ness mumbled.

...

...

...

...Verminthrax was, to put it simply, soaking up all the attention he could get from his followers as he introduced Sude to them as a "dear brother". Sude calmly smiled and lied through his teeth about this, deciding to "play his game" and hear the lying little crocodilian creep out as they were treated to a delicious banquet at a very long table in the nearby park by Dr. Kong's lab, a place VERY impossible to miss because his initials were displayed in bright red-with-yellow-lining letters above. Nick was there as well, a big, cheery and VERY victorious smirk on his face as "Father Rule" also arrived, looking very humbled.

When the meal (which was a savory meat pie, cold ham, salad and vanilla cake) had been brought to the table and all had drawn their chairs up to said table and begun, Verminthrax relayed his tale to Sude as Nick calmly gave Father Rule, aka King , a look that said "If you tell anybody what I did to you, I turn you into a pair of boots".

"You see, many years ago I first came here, forced by a terrible spell to leave my home. The spell was simply horrific...every night there came an hour when I was horribly changed within my mind, and after this, my body would follow. First I would become furious and wild, then I would turn into the likeness of a sickening worm."

"Turn, nothing." Sude mumbled darkly. "_I wish I had some salt to shrivel you up." _

"Please, take another slice of ham." Verminthrax insisted to Nick as Nick eagerly took a large bite from his serving.

"Sure thing! Ya are what ya eat!" The kid laughed.

"I realized the only way to free myself of this enchantment was to find a new world, for often, jinxes and curses cannot carry over to other worlds. The moment I left my home, I found myself freed, and came to this planet that so needed my aid. Unfortunately, the jealous being revived the spell after following me here, and I knew the only way to ensure my beloved people's survival was to transform into a statue."

"Yeah, I read about that!...listen, about the MELON thing. Is that...true?" Nick found himself asking.

"Yes."

"...dear GOD." Nick groaned, holding his hands over his mouth. "...but...THAT MANY?"

"...er, now the time has come for me to leave again, only this time, I shall gain the very thing I need to protect myself from any and all foul enchantments! I shall travel to the planet Earth." Verminthrax went on dramatically.

"Indeed." Father Rule spoke up, holding his gnarly "hands" in the air. "We shall ride forth in arms, fall suddenly on our enemies, slay their chief man, cast down their strong places and doubtless our great and all-powerful Living God shall be crowned their king within four and twenty hours!"

"Bit rough on THEM, isn't it?" Doctor Kong remarked, rubbing his chin. "And besides, calling them our "enemies"? I mean, really? We've never even met any other humans besides you."

"Oh, for the most part, humans are terrible, terrible people." Father Rule insisted. "They force their women to be pregnant in a plot to keep them fat, moody and immobile. Their children are all whiny, immoral, cruel little brats. The women are-"

"Untrustworthy?" Nick finished.

"No, I don't mean to imply that. But they will, in fact, cut out your heart and feed it to the cat at a moment's notice. They think that they need a man about as much as, say, a dragon needs butt dimples."

"...Butt...dimples." Sude commented.

"Yes. Butt dimples."

"But...butt dimples are useless."

"EXACTLY. MY POINT."

"But they're very cute." Verminthrax added, waving HIS butt in the air and chuckling slightly.

"Also, when they're not killing other members of their species that are divided by 'races', human beings are always killing each other." Father Rule added, taking his fingers and stretching his eyes to make himself look Asian. "Oh no, I am Japanese person, I have rotten day, I gonna restore honor. COMMIT...SEPPEKUUUUU!"

He held up a plastic knife and pretended to stab himself, everyone else bursting out into laughter save for Doctor Kong, who snorted in disgust, Sude, who was digging his claws into the table, and Nick, who was actually so visibly offended by this that he began praying for a thunderbolt to shut Father Rule u-

**KRAKKA-KROOOOOOM!**

"...here? Now?" Sude whispered, gazing up in awe at the clear-blue sky as Nick happily placed his hands together and bowed his head.

"Thank you."

"...well. Uh..." Doctor Kong remarked, scratching his head. "Er...um...I suppose I should call a doctor...I AM a doctor!"

Sude smiled to himself as he stood up and cheerily waved goodbye to Verminthrax, headed for the laboratory with Nick following after. "Is he really your brother or was that also a big fat fib?" Nick found himself asking.

"He's a cousin, actually. A fellow Seraphi from Allforce. A very, VERY black-sheep of a cousin. But the bit about him getting a spell cast on him..." Sude chuckled at this as he pushed the door open, leading Nick inside a red-carpeted laboratory with dozens of jars filled to the brim with odd chemicals, plants and fungus lining large shelves. "That was my doing. Only the enchantment made him self-aware of every rotten little thing he'd ever done in his life. Nobody ever thinks they're a villain. When confronted with it...he couldn't keep denying it. So he just ran away..."

"And now he's doing it AGAIN, and going to Earth. Earth really is the birthplace of all magic? Kickass." Nick cheered, punching the air above and grinning. "Thanks for taking me here, I'll sing a song and take care of that old serpent. I was in Australia for half a year, and I've been there a bunch of times since, I'm sure there's some song about a guy coming and skinning-"

"I'm afraid that "The Sacred Skill" doesn't work on my species." Sude admitted sadly as he sat at a desk, shaking his head back and forth, rainbow wings folded tightly to his back. "It just sounds like pretty words to us. Why do you think you're hearing my voice the way you are?"

"...wait." Nick's eyes widened. "...you mean...you're actually SINGING? Right now?"

"Close. Our language is entirely harmonium-based dialectic communication. We speak in music. Not lyrics, but real music. It simply sounds like words to you because of what the music represents. It's the IDEAL, Nick." The Entity of Life said gently. "It's the IDEAL that the Sacred Skill stands for, for it is ultimately the ideal that a hero seeks to embody, and in the end, that which he finally achieves when all is said and done. And our race was always about the ideal."

Doctor Kong entered and took a seat in a nearby chair and folded his hands in his lap. "Your race sounds very nice." He admitted. "I heard the whole thing, I understand your plight."

"You aren't...mad or anything about finding out-" Nick began, stopping himself. "Oh, right, you're an atheist n' stuff."

"My boy, you say it like it's a disease!" Doctor Kong laughed. "Please though, tell me, what became of your planet?"

"...it burned." The Seraphi mumbled, putting his face in his gigantic claws. "...it burned and burned and _burned_ and my people burned with it..."

...

...

...

... "Mom, was I ever a grub?" Ness went into his kitchen, scratching his head. "Y'know, a larva? Did I really pupate at age two?"

Suddenly he saw something surprising. His mother. She was no longer in black and white. She, like he...was now in color. She nervously turned around, putting a hand to her cheek. "I...I just...er..." She chuckled slightly. "...I can't go out like this." She mumbled nervously.

"Mom, it'll be alright." Ness insisted gently, deep concern filling his eyes. "You look great. You DO, really."

Nervously he exited the kitchen, deciding to head outside and go into the backyard inflatable pool, leaning against it as Alex sat nearby on the lawn, the "nice plumber guys" putting the finishing touches on the sprinkler system for Ness. Much of the town was filling up with color now...the flowers, the trees, the sky...half the people, truth be told. He wondered why, though. What had changed?

Well, there was Gig, who was even now approaching the pool in his "special jams". Ness immediately frowned and held his hands up. "Woah-woah-woah, hold on there, fella! Don't come in here!"

"Why not? I am positively ROASTING in your hot Earth sun. Sirius MINOR didn't have a sun like this!"

"You'll get hair in the water, that's why." Ness complained.

"Oh, ya mean...like THIS?" Gig chuckled darkly, fluffing up one of his puffy ears/ponytails on the side of his head, blue hair falling down like pine leaves into the pool below.

"HEYYYY!" Nessyelled. "Stop it! Hey! Ooooh, you dirty bird, you!" He growled, hopping out of the pool as Gig slipped inside, smiling broadly.

"Heh-heh. That, my fine little friend, is called "Cutting the Gordian Knot". A simple, blunt, unsophisticated solution to a seemingly complex problem."

"Think you've won, huh?" Ness darkly chuckled back. "Well, I'M not even gonna TELL you what **I**did!"

"ACCKKPPPTHHH!"

"You kids today." Mario remarked, rolling his eyes as Gig ran for the hose, Erin approaching with hands on her hips as she frowned at Ness's obvious glee in grossing Gig out.

"REALLY, Ness." The cafeteria worker said. "I was going to talk to your mother about you throwing stuff in the cafeteria, am I going to have to talk to her about THIS too?"

"You girls are so picky over things like this!" Claus's voice called out as he and Lucas walked across the street to Ness, Claus chuckling. "I guess you must look for every opening you can get! It must be frustrating knowing that men are bigger, stronger, and better at abstract thought than women. Really, if you were a girl, what would make you go on living?"

"The thought of a jerk like you begging one of us for a date at Lover's Lane when you're 17." Paula's voice called out as she passed by, chuckling...COLOR IN HER HAIR.

Ness's eyes widened and he found himself laughing. Laughing at something that a girl had said. And he found himself walking after her. "Hey! Wait, wait up, that was a good one!"

Claus scratched his head, shrugging as he and Lucas walked off, Erin kneeling down by Mario and Luigi was they put their toolbelts back up. "Uh...guys...quick question. Why is only SAMUS still in color? Is it just interaction with Ness that'll do it? I mean, YOU'RE in color."

"And lookin' GOOD!" Luigi laughed.

"I'm not sure." Mario admitted as Erin looked over at the stuffed animal toy. "What is it?"

"So...you see it as an alien. A real alien." Erin remarked, picking the bluish-furred toy up as it smiled up at her. "...what's it's name?"

"Gig."

"...Gig." Erin blinked a few times. "...that's a GIRL'S name, heh-heh." She chuckled slightly.

"Maybe it's not just the interaction with Ness." Luigi wondered out loud. "Maybe it's something else. You know, when I was a young kid, growin' up in Brooklyn, I had an imaginary friend!"

"Really?" Erin inquired as she sat on a nearby see-saw, putting Gig on the other end as she wrapped her arms around her legs. "What was his name?"

"It. It was "Squiggly", the talking Spaghetti Pile." Luigi told her proudly.

Erin began chuckling, holding a hand to her head as she giddily laughing, Luigi blushing deeply as Mario patted him on the head. "No, no, it's just..." She smiled. "I had an imaginary friend too!" She admitted. "It was a pet cat! A black cat. I named it Blacky, and he was a sweetie-pie. He reminded me a lot of the Cheshire Cat from the stories about "Wonderland" I enjoyed reading from Earth. Always had this big smile..."

At the thought of the cat, Erin thought back to the day her father...or rather, the man she'd assumed had been her father...had brought in the plushy little toy for her to play with. Though he hadn't been her true father...he had loved her just like she was his. How long had it been since she'd thought of him?...how long had it been since she first-

Suddenly the seesaw swung her UP and she turned her head, Gig smiling over at her and waving. "Salutations, Arosean." The PSI Lord told her.

Meanwhile, Ness was sitting by the pond with Paula as Claus and Lucas sat nearby, listening to Ness talk about his adventures. Even though the two twin brothers found it hard to believe Ness little tales about "Explorer Elliot", the stories were fascinating.

"So what's it like? When it all changes?" Paula found herself asking, one eyebrow raised high as the frogs began to ribbit in rhyme with the crickets.

"Well, it's louder...and brighter...and scarier...a lot more dangerous."

"Sounds..."

"Swell?" Claus asked.

"...TERRIFIC." Lucas finished, eyes widening. "G'aw, sure wish I could see it!" He admitted shyly, bowing his head and nervously chewing on his lip.

"I brought some food n' stuff." Paula added, pulling out an apple from her picnic basket. "I picked them all myself! This one actually has color in it, look!" She said, holding a bright green apple as shiny as an emerald for Ness to bite into, and he eagerly took a big chunk out of it.

And then...it happened.

There was a CRAKKA-THROOOM as they all looked up, and, a moment later, rain began to pour down from the heavens, Lucas gasping in surprise as Claus scratched his head. "What's this?" Paula asked.

"Rain!" Ness realized. "REAL rain, guys!" He stood up, holding his arms up to the sky as the rain came tumbling down, the others quickly ducking underneath the gondola by the pond for shelter. Ness just laughed, looking back at his friends. "Aw, c'mon! Get out here, it's harmless! Just rain, see?"

He held one hand out at Paula as she nervously took one step...then another...then took his hand, stepping out into the rain as the water slipped down her hair...the grey and the black and white melting away as her true color gave way...a pretty pair of blue eyes gazing into Ness's own, blue into blue.

Watching from afar, Gig curled his tail around himself as Erin shielded him under an umbella, Samus walking up to the two with Mario and Luigi as Alex nodded firmly. "You know...there's something in that boy. Something there that wasn't there before."

"Cool!" Erin chuckled. "Rain...real rain, here in this little town! And now that nice girl has color in her!"

"Yes." Gig admitted softly. "...it would be nice if it could always that this way. Guess EVERYONE'S gonna be colored-up soon."

"Come on." Mario said in a soft, but firm fashion. "I think we'd better go and set up a tent for our little troopers. Samus...could you go tell their parents you're acting "In Loco Parenti?"

...

...

...

...as Paula and Lucas awoke, stretching their arms wide as the dawn's early rays gently kissed them away, Ness looked out from the bright blue tent they had been sleeping in for the night, unzipping it and stepping out onto the fresh grass. He yawned deeply, stretching his arms as he looked out over the pond...

Claus sitting across the way on a hill, staring into the water...

Holding a hand to a cheek that was still as grey as ever. In fact, it seemed MORE gray...and his once-bright eyes seemed so glazed-over and listless, his voice deep and muffled, as if he had suddenly aged many years in a single night.

"...I don't...understand..."


	30. Chapter 30

**CHAPTER THIRTY**

Claus sat , dejected, hair hanging low as he stared at cold, hard schoolyard playground gravel beneath the swingset he was stationed on. He didn't even have the energy to look up as Ness and Paula sat nearby, Gig sitting atop the swingset. The teacher had warned Ness about "leaving his toy up there" but he'd insisted he'd get it down later.

Adults. They could be so...blind.

Then again, Erin thought to herself as Alex tried to cheer Claus up by nuzzling his leg, children could be so dumb. Didn't he understand why he hadn't changed yet? Granted it seemed like a little over half the town was still grey and black and white, but that number would change any day and HE could change with it if he just took the time to stop and-

"Go 'way." Claus mumbled at Alex, actually making his ears droop as he ambled away, plopping underneath a tree to sit with Erin as Ness gave his good buddy a pat on the back.

"It'll be okay, Claus." He insisted. "We'll figure it out."

"And even if we don't, it's not so bad. It's just a color thing." Lucas added nervously. "I mean, you're still gonna be my brother!"

Claus looked up slightly in Lucas's direction. "...usually your pep talks go in one ear, out the other, but this time, I'm actually...no, no." He sighed, hanging his head again as the other children continued playing around them in a game of "Red Rover". "Not feeling the pep. So I don't change. Big deal."

He shook his head back and forth. "I hate change. It's to disruptive. When things are different, you have to think about the change and deal with it. I wanna be able to relax."

"But change is good." Gig insisted, pointing up slightly. "It reminds us of the impermanent nature of Life. Carpe Diem, sieze the day!"

"Carpe PHOOEY." Claus said, sticking his tongue out and giving off a huge raspberry. "I'll take some nice, boring, CONSISTENCY in my life! And besides, things are always changing for the WORSE! The longer I live, the more complicated everything gets! I'll have to worry about dating and cars and taxes!"

He threw his hands in the air, groaning deeply. "No more change!"

"You're flipping-"

"I am not even HOPPING-"

"You're flipping out. Calm down, Claus." Ness insisted.

"CALM? I'll be calm as soon as somebody tells me there's something that'll always stay the same. No matter WHAT! No matter NOTHING!"

"Me." Lucas said cheerily, giving his brother a big grin. "I'll always be your brother, no matter what. No matter NUTTIN'."

Claus blinked ever-so-slowly as he rested his hands in his lap, thoughtfully chewing his lip. Finally, he spoke in a quiet, almost shamed tone. "...thank you, Lucas."

"It's alright." Lucas insisted, patting his brother on the shoulder again. "Hey, what're friends for?"

"Guys, I hate to rain on your parade, but...something's off. What's missing from this picture?" Ness realized, glancing left and right around the playground. "Or rather, WHO'S missing from this picture?"

All of them looked around the playground, craning their necks, eyes peering intensely. Suddenly Gig spoke up, snapping his "fingers". "POKEY! I haven't seen him anywhere today! Where is that lil' pig?"

"Hey, don't insult the pigs. Pigs are actually very clean." Alex insisted, putting a paw on his chest. "And I THINK it might have something to do..."

He clambered over the nearby fence, taking a poster off of it and holding it up high. "With THIS."

"TOWN MEETING: FOR ALL 'TRUE' CITIZENS OF ONETT."

...

...

...

...and now, a short time ago...in a galaxy far, far away...

"This is a bad idea. I mean, we've had really bad ideas before, but this is a bad idea." Ratchet the Lombax insisted as he adjusted the goggles atop his furry head with his gloved hand. He glanced back over his shoulder again at the robotic companion attached to him in a backpack-esque fashion, who rolled its green eyes, folding tiny arms and pouting as best its limited jawspace could allow.

"This is JUST a barbeque dinner. You LIKE barbeque."

"Yes. But not when somebody like HIM is sitting and eating next to me." Ratchet hissed quietly back as they made their way down the hallway of the Presidential Palace and to the stately cafeteria, located, conveniently, with a porch that led right outside to a lovely park filled with pretty flower beds, a fine grilling area located by a fountain with a pool and...where Emperor Percival Tachyon was waiting for them with Angela.

Evidently, from what Angela had said via vid-screen communication, Tachyon had evidently developed something of a conscience; mostly from going out of his mind being stuck on a tiny asteroid floating around in an alternate dimension and being forced to listen to a whiny, fat Markazian. He described his escape as "a sordid story" and wanted to meet with Ratchet in person to apologize for his past actions. In fact, as a show of good faith, he'd even surrendered all of his weapons, his fancy ship, his army had utterly relinquished everything.

Even the sporks.

They were totally helpless and throwing themselves at President Qwark's mercy.

And, being the idiotic attention-seeking blowhard he was, he'd evidently felt that, provided Tachyon and his race did bajillions of hours of community service, forgiveness was something he could extend to the Cragmite race.

Ratchet didn't feel quite the same. A simmering anger was boiling beneath his surface, but he tried to keep it under control as he walked out of the cafeteria and towards Angela as she held one arm around Tachyon's.

"Who...the HECK...is HE?" Ratchet whispered at Clank, seeing the tall and spiky-legged being that was carefully being led towards them across the grass.

"I THINK that is Tachyon. Evidently, he has **grown** somewhat...he is no longer a...dare I say it..."

"Oh, DON'T..."

"Little problem?"

Ratchet wanted to laugh. He really did. But all he could say was "Well the "little problem" is now a "big disaster"! Shouldn't he be forced to be fighting child molesters in some alternate universe?"

"I'm surprised your concern is not Angela. She is a lombax just as you are. I am surprised he has not harmed her." Clank reasoned. "If anything, she seems rather-"

"Happy? I came, I saw him, let's go before they decide to break out the pitchforks!" Tachyon whispered quickly, nervously, sweatdrops breaking out on his brow.

"Just relax, you're going to be okay." Angela insisted.

"There's guards all over. What if one of them decides to suddenly take the law into his own hands! We've got no weapons now except for the conversion venom in our-"

"It'll be alright." Angela cooed.

"You can do this." Clank told Ratchet firmly.

"But I don't-"

"Want-"

"To-"

"Be-"

"Heeeeee-HEEEY!" Ratchet smiled as broadly and fake as he could at Tachyon. "Look at YOU! Wow, I mean, you REALLY grew. You been taking vitamins?"

"Er...uh...hitting the gym." Tachyon mumbled. "Protein shakes..."

"Legal, right?"

"Legal-ISH."

"...Angela." Ratchet said gently, nodding at her. "...it's really good to see you're doing alright. It really is." He said softly. "I was worried about you when I heard Max Apogee had taken you out of the galaxy to save your life..."

"He was a good man." Angela said softly, sighing as she nodded her head and looked to the side ever-so-slightly. "I'm going to miss him."

"Brilliant mind, that Max." Tachyon mused, rubbing his chin. Ratchet shivered at the sound of his voice again. He was getting into that tone he got, thinking about something that excited him. It ALWAYS unnerved Ratchet.

Truth be told, just about everything about the Cragmite race seemed repulsive.

They could reproduce asexually via EXPLODING, their vaguely insectoid/reptilian/crustacean features, their voices...it wasn't fair to make fun of a race for just being the sort of thing that, if you saw in a dark alley, your first reaction would be to scream. THEY couldn't help it. Wasn't their fault nature had made them look that way.

But still...the WAY Percival Tachyon spoke was always unnerving, always unsettling, even when he was trying to be friendly, like he was now. Everything about him just raised sirens in Ratchet's head.

"Angela allowed herself to be taken in exchange for amnesty for Max. But I decided to keep him on for a bit and employ his brilliance for my benefit. He helped build my pride and joy, truth be told, but...didn't last long. A disease claimed him before he could finish the work..."

The cragmite 's vaguely reptilian/robotic voice trailed off, and Ratchet saw something flash in his eyes. Guilt. Pure, undiluted guilt. Not ONCE had Ratchet ever saw that in the cragmite's eyes. _"Okay, Ratchet. Maybe you're being a bit too hard on him. I'll bet he was locked away in that dimension for years...he's grown up alone...afraid...in the unknown. Maybe he really has changed..."_

Qwark slapped all of them heartily on the back, the butt-cheeked, green-suit-wearing humanoid cheerily slapping his hands together and rubbing them as he grinned at them. "How good to see everyone together! Now c'mon, c'mon, I've been making my specialty! A little something I call Eggs A La Qwark. Not scrambled...not fried...but somewhere delightfully in between! With tournedos of beef thrown throughout!"

"Here. Take this just in case. I think the mushrooms in his eggs grew on their own." Clank suggested, pulling something out of his stomach compartment and handing it to the others as Qwark led them to the other guests at the long park tables, smoke visibly rising from one dish in particular.

"...vanilla gum?" Ratchet asked, blinking in surprise.

"Well, YOU try to explain to a drug store chemist why a robot might need a cyanide pill."

"I'll eat it." Tachyon whispered back at them. "My taste buds practically rotted away after being forced to eat dirt and tree bark in that alternate dimension. It's not fatal, it only LOOKS like it." He insisted to the clearly-mortified Ratchet. The Cragmite held up his fork and took a piece of the eggs, tasting it. "Not quite like Carraraused to make." He chuckled sadly.

Ratchet stiffened.

_Carrara._

A name. Whispered in his memory. A face so much like...

No, no it couldn't have been. Could it be that-was Tachyon...had he been?-

"...it's sizzling." Angela whispered.

"What?"

"It's sizzling...in your mouth."

The Cragmite opened his considerably toothy maw up to find yes, in fact, there was the sound of sizzling coming from inside. It was like somebody had squirted cooking oil onto pop rocks and tossed them into somebody's mouth whilst lighting a match. He could barely taste anything but the BURNING.

"WATER! WATER, WATER, WATER!" He screamed, spitting the eggs out and grabbing a nearby pitcher, downing it on the spot as Ratchet snorted, laughing madly as Clank giggled slightly. "What did you PUT in this! What's this brown sauce?"

"That should be a gravy..." Qwark sniffed the eggs he had on a fork of his own. "Oh! Silly me! Gasoline."

Several questions rose up in Perry's head. Like...**why**.

WHY put gasoline into a container that could be mistaken for gravy?

Why put it in the same place you'd most likely keep your gravy?

Why did you not recognize it was gasoline when you first started cooking?

But mostly it was "_Why does this keep happening to me_?" that kept repeating in his head.

"...I'm going to go lie down now." Tachyon mumbled out, passing out and flopping off his seat as he hit the ground, Ratchet deciding to steal the cornbread he had on his plate.

...

...

...

... "Go ahead, Mr. Poontz." Pokey Minch said as he sat in a chair by a circular table at city hall, tilting his head to the side slightly as the thick-mustached Mr. Poontz nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Tell them your story."

"It was...after the rain." Mr. Poontz murmured. "I walked in the door, put down my briefcase and I said "honey, I'm home" like always. I put my hat on the rack, like always. But one thing wasn't like always..."

"What?" Ness's father, Mr. Elliot asked, sitting next to him, scratching his head as the other assembled citizens of Onett leaned in to eagerly hear the next part of the story.

"Nothing happened. She didn't come. My wife wasn't there!" Mr. Poontz whimpered pitifully, his lip quivering. "No lights...no dinner...she was gone." He broke out into tears, covering his face as Pokey sighed deeply.

"It'll be alright. You're with friends now. You're safe now." He insisted in a persuasive tone.

"What're we gonna do?" Somebody asked. "What CAN we do?"

"Times are changing. Things are getting...unpleasant around here." Pokey told them all. "We've seen REAL rain here, gentlemen. And...and COLORED people are walking isn't some little virus that'll clear up on its own. I think we all know where it's coming from...isn't that right, Mr. Finsel?"

Mr. Patrick Finsel, the green grocer, nervously stood up and pointed at the jacket he was wearing over his shirt. Pokey nodded sagely. "It's alright, sir. You're among friends. Go ahead. Don't be afraid."

"...LOOOOOOOOOOK!" He sobbed, pulling his jacket down to reveal a gigantic burn mark from a clothes iron.

"A tragedy, my friend. A tragedy. My friends, we're losing sight of our values. A time has come to make a decision. Are we in this thing alone...or are we in it TOGETHER?" Pokey Minch asked the assembled citizens in city hall.

"...together."

"Together!"

"TOGETHER!"

They chanted and chanted, their cry echoing through city hall and wafting out of the door as Alex removed his ear from it and shook his head back and forth. "They've gone Ku Klux Klan on us." He murmured. "It's disgusting the way they're trying to divide up the town. Us and them...black and white."

"You ever worry that maybe, this is a bad thing?" Samus wondered as she sat with the others on the bench down by the steps to the entrance of city hall. "Maybe your city's not ready to be all...like this."

"...but I LIKE it like this." Ness said. "I'm doing things I never knew I could do before. It's like...I..." He struggled to find the words. "It feels like I'm really alive for the first time, Ms. Aran. And they want to make this go away?"

He shook his head back and forth vigorously. "I don't WANT it to go away."

...

...

...

...it was nearing the afternoon and soon the kids would be heading back to their homes after another schoolday. Unfortunately for the kids, the attitude of the City Council had infected even the curriculum. The poor tykes were being taught the "Non-Changist" view of history, stressing the importance of continuity over alteration. And god forbid you bring up the Native Americans, or Aborigines, and so on...

And if you were of "color", then...well...the teasing was enough to make Erin actually stop serving lunch, toss down her serving spoon, and burst into tears as she ran from the cafeteria. And it didn't help that the principal was as grey and white as an old photograph...

But Gig had other things to worry about at the momemt. He had to make time for a private call, hiding back at Ness's house, sitting atop the roof and looking at Tachyon's face on a tele-vid screen as the Cragmite glared at him, bellowing angrily, stomach still trying to wean off the effects of getting pumped. Evidently the loathsome concoction Qwark had made had given him some kind of virus that only usually appeared in third world countries!

"What, pray tell, do you think you're doing? You're getting even CLOSER to the boy and his friends! There's color almost everywhere now! What's going on?"

"It just sort of...happened." Gig said lamely, shrugging a little.

"Do you think this world's a COLORING book?" Tachyon hissed. "If E.G.O and our esteemed Patron find out what you've been doing..."

"I haven't done anything wrong, _Perry_." Gig chuckled.

"MY NAME IS **PERCIVAL**! I mean it's-GAAAH! You know what I mean! And let me show you what you did wrong!" Tachyon snarled, leaping up and down as the vid-screen displayed Ness...in his little pool.

_"Woah-woah-woah, hold on there, fella! Don't come in here!"_

_"Why not? I am positively ROASTING in your hot Earth sun. Sirius MINOR didn't have a sun like this!"_

_"You'll get hair in the water, that's why." Ness complained._

_"Oh, ya mean...like THIS?" Gig chuckled darkly, fluffing up one of his puffy ears/ponytails on the side of his head, blue hair falling down like pine leaves into the pool below._

_"HEYYYY!" Nessyelled. "Stop it! Hey! Ooooh, you dirty bird, you!" He growled, hopping out of the pool as Gig slipped inside, smiling broadly._

_"Heh-heh. That, my fine little friend, is called "Cutting the Gordian Knot". A simple, blunt, unsophisticated solution to a seemingly complex problem."_

_"Think you've won, huh?" Ness darkly chuckled back. "Well, I'M not even gonna TELL you what __**I **__did!"_

_"ACCKKPPPTHHH!"_

"Uh...well...I..." Gig stuttered. "I was just having fun."

"And then you exposed yourself even further to those...what do they call themselves?"

"Smash Pros?"

"Yes! LOOK!"

_"So...you see it as an alien. A real alien." Erin remarked, picking the bluish-furred toy up as it smiled up at her. "...what's it's name?"_

_"Gig."_

_"...Gig." Erin blinked a few times. "...that's a GIRL'S name, heh-heh." She chuckled slightly._

_"Maybe it's not just the interaction with Ness." Luigi wondered out loud. "Maybe it's something else. You know, when I was a young kid, growin' up in Brooklyn, I had an imaginary friend!"_

_"Really?" Erin inquired as she sat on a nearby see-saw, putting Gig on the other end as she wrapped her arms around her legs. "What was his name?"_

_"It. It was "Squiggly", the talking Spaghetti Pile." Luigi told her proudly._

_Erin began chuckling, holding a hand to her head as she giddily laughing, Luigi blushing deeply as Mario patted him on the head. "No, no, it's just..." She smiled. "I had an imaginary friend too!" She admitted. "It was a pet cat! A black cat. I named it Blacky, and he was a sweetie-pie. He reminded me a lot of the Cheshire Cat from the stories about "Wonderland" I enjoyed reading from Earth. Always had this big smile..."_

_At the thought of the cat, Erin thought back to the day her father...or rather, the man she'd assumed had been her father...had brought in the plushy little toy for her to play with. Though he hadn't been her true father...he had loved her just like she was his. How long had it been since she'd thought of him?...how long had it been since she first-_

_Suddenly the seesaw swung her UP and she turned her head, Gig smiling over at her and waving. "Salutations, Arosean." The PSI Lord told her._

"BOOM! Right there! Whaddya call **that**?" Tachyon hissed, his visage appearing over the still of Gig greeting Erin. "That is what the sports world would call a "real foul"! A "serious error"!"

"I can't just LEAVE them here like this. I know what Pokey offered Ness, I know what will happen if he remembers fully, but..." Gig hesitated, curling his arms over his legs. "...I can't bring myself to just...just leave them here like this. It isn't right."

"Isn't "right"?" Tachyon frowned, scratching his head. "...you've gone "native"."

"So did you!" Gig snapped back. "I know about you and HER."

That made the Cragmite Emperor turn very, _very_ pale. "Th-that's just, I'm...we're not, she's not-"

Suddenly something caught Gig's attention, his sensitive ears picking up the unmistakable sound of somebody causing trouble for one particular twin. "Hey, where you goin' in such a hurry, "Santa Claus" Whiny Lucas?"

Gig quickly leapt off the roof and landed in a nearby tree, gazing out into the streets as several thuggish little brats, all led by Pokey Minch, began harassing poor Claus, Lucas clinging tightly to his brother.

"Off to go see your colored friends?" Pokey chuckled darkly.

"I don't think the way you're talking about my friends is PLEASANT, Pokey." Claus muttered back at him, trying to make his way back down the street only to be stopped by one of Pokey's thugs.

"Well, I don't like your face. Or YOURS, "colored boy"." Pokey said coldly at Lucas.

"Th-then don't-don't look at it." Lucas stuttered out, trembling like a leaf in a harsh breeze, a breeze that was moments away from being turned into a rip-roaring hurricane.

"I'd rather **change **it!" Pokey laughed coldly, the thugs pulling Lucas away from Claus with Pokey raising a fist high to slam it straight into the poor little tyke's face.

But he never got the chance. Before Gig's astonished eyes, Claus broke free of the other thugs and moved like a boy possessed. With almost incredible speed and unbelievable strength his fist struck into Pokey's piggish face, a proud, mighty THRUCHA-THWACK sound echoing through the air.

The smack heard round the world. Pokey's small, beady black eyes widened in amazement, shock and pain as he held his bloodied, near-broken nose, his thugs looking down at him as Claus raised his fist back up, Lucas gasping as he saw...

Real blood on Claus's fist. Red. Almost as red...as Claus's hair.

"Y-you're...I..." Lucas stuttered. "...WOW."

"Get out of here!" Claus yelled at Pokey. "I'm tired of my brother being afraid of you!" He gave Pokey a harsh kick to the butt as the little brat scrambled to run away, racing through the streets with his thugs following after, Claus gently holding onto Pokey as he felt the tears springing in his eyes. "Oh my God, oh my GOD, I'm...I can't believe it, I'm..."

"Can you...see me?" Gig asked as he gently descended from the tree he'd been in, walking over to them and pointing at himself, Claus blinking slowly as he looked Gig up and down.

"...yeah." He said. "...you look...cool." He decided. "Yeah. Cool."

"Well, that's just swell." Gig chuckled.

...

...

...

...meanwhile, Nick and Dr. Kong had been listening in on a tragic tale Sude had lived through, a vivid and all-too real tragedy brought to life. It was something that resembled an old Greek Tragedy, almost comedic in its outlandish set-up, and yet...

"I'm surprised you're not taking this whole "Force of Fate" thing so...skeptically." Nick finally asked Dr. Kong as Sude rocked slowly back and forth as he lay in a nearby couch, mumbling "I smell smoke" occasionally.

"The being on my couch right now is an immensely powerful sentient sun that, through unique adaptation, changed its corporeal form. If we view ideals as being a kind of tangible, then its perfectly possible for a thing such as "fate" to manifest itself as a physical being. You would be amazed at how often things happen in our lives that defy physics and reality." Dr. Kong insisted. "I've seen people lingering on for days when they should have died of cancer weeks before. I've seen people cure their own diabetes. I've seen wonders under a microscope you couldn't even fathom. The possibility of an idea becoming physical is intriguing, but not utterly impossible. In fact, there's even a term for it."

"A term?"

"_Tulpa_." Dr. Kong insisted, waving a thick finger in the air. "A manifestation. It's an Indian term from YOUR world, I believe." He reached up to the nearby bookcase, taking off an "Guide to Indian Culture and Mythology", opening up to a post-it-marked page as Nick read through it. "The idea behind it is that if a person's will is strong enough, they can manifest an idea from their head into a physical thing, be it an object, a person..."

"Do you think its possible for...say...somebody to change all of reality around them? To have their entire environment become a "tulpa" because they so strongly wanted it to change?" Nick nervously asked.

Dr. Kong blinked a few times, turning to look at Nick. "You're trying to imply something. I can tell."

"It's just..." Nick hesitated, then sat down in a nearby chair and began to explain the scenarios he had encountered, Dr. Kong listening calmly through it all. Eventually, he'd finished, and he kneaded his knuckles together, nervously chewing his lip. "...I know this must come as a shock to you, but..."

"I believe you." Dr. Kong admitted, sighing as he folded his arms and bowed his head. "I really do. But..." He nervously glanced around. "...if what you are saying is true, then, traditionally, should not this entire environment change as I accept the truth? Something is not right."

"That's MOSTLY because of Verminthrax." Sude spoke up, rising up as he dusted himself off, sighing deeply. "He's an immensely magical being and his body is a conduit for the environment you see. You'd naturally believe any explanation given to you for why the world around you changed. They wanted to make sure that even if you did believe it, you wouldn't be able to do a thing about it."

"If we take care of that overgrown alligator, we CAN do a thing about it. And then some." Nick insisted, slamming his fist into his palm.

"Killing him is not the answer." Sude insisted, holding his clawed hand up. "I wish only for him to see the light. He's one of the last of my kind. I have to at least TRY to get him to listen to reason...even if he most likely won't."

"And if he doesn't?" Nick asked quietly. "...I don't wanna kill him **either** but...but what are we gonna do if he doesn't drop this illusion? He's going to invade my world. How are we going to stop something that shrugs off getting turned into a statue for eons?"

He wanted to say something. Anything. He really did...

...but Sude had no answer.

THE NEXT MORNING...

Dawn. The dawn of a new day, the sunlight casting its first golden rays over Xanadu as Nick sat with Dr. Kong on a park bench, the assembled masses of the city standing nearby as King , still in his disguise, glared angrily over at Nick.

"I always wanted to say this...where is your god now?" Nick inquired of him as Sude calmly hovered in the air overhead.

"Right here." Verminthrax's throaty growl sounded out as he descended upon tattered wings to stomp over in Sude's direction, holding up a clawed fist. "And quite ready."

"Wait. Not here." Sude insisted gently, gesturing at the city. "...please."

"...a last request. Fine by me." Verminthrax chuckled. "But I'll be bringing these fine folks to watch so they can understand what kind of person you are, and what kind of person I am. So they can see our true power."

"I won't let you take the Earth. It's not your decision to make." Sude insisted calmly as he spread his arms wide, his voice a harmonious roar as the ground around them shifted and changed, within seconds they were on an oxygenated moon far, far away on an uninhabited planet, stars twinkling overhead by large, column-shaped mountains of purple and black rock.

"Oh really?"

"I am TRYING to reason with you." Sude said. "After years of terrible behavior from you, I tried to show you there was another path than the one of violence that you chose." The white-furred being offered a large clawed hand at his cousin. "I am begging you to stand down and help me end this without further violence. Come **quietly** with me. End this. Maybe we can all still get out of this in one piece."

Nick's eyes widened. He could FEEL it. A sickening, rising feeling in his chest, an unnerving, rattling pain. He knew what was going to happen.

"Nah."

THRUCHA-THROOOOM! Sude was knocked with a sharp backhand through the air into a mountain as Verminthrax opened his jaws wide, thousands of shrieking and snarling bats of black tar oozing out, fluttering through the air to rush at Sude, who's gigantic wings batted them away as he swept his arms, swashes of sparkling white energy knocking them back.

"Rule number one, Sude...you got power, then EVERYTHING is possible. Nobody comes into MY house, telling me what to do, getting up in my business. Oh no."

Verminthrax raised his clawed hand up, digging it into the ground as slimy chains snapped up from the ground to tug Sude down. "He who holds the power...makes the rules."

"I have to DO something!" Nick insisted angrily.

"You remember what he said." Dr. Kong whispered. "Your unique skills would not affect him."

"We can't just stand here and watch him kill Sude!" Nick hissed back.

"...we might not need to..." Dr. Kong whispered back, a big grin stretching across his face as he looked at the people of Xanadu, Kongs and Gorillas alike. "Nick...look at them."

Nick turned his head, eyes widening as he began to chuckle. Verminthrax might have been winning the battle, but he was losing the war. Every time he struck the defenseless white dragon over and over, every time he stomped and slashed at him, the more people's faces flinched, their expressions becoming filled with disgust and distaste at their patron's actions. "Tame" god or not, this was positively barbaric...

"As the phrase goes...do not interfere when your enemy is destroying himself." Dr. Kong said with a smile.

...

...

...

... "Why did you bring your stuffed animal to these proceedings?" The judge asked Ness as Gig sat on one leg, Lucas sitting with his brother as Mario, Luigi, Alex, Samus and Erin all sat with them with the rest of the town's inhabitants that were attending their first juvenile trial. Many civilians were being forced to sit in the upper balcony of the courthouse, all of them being of the "colored" variety.

Pokey Minch glared balefully at Ness's table, a big band-aid wrapped around his nose as his dad patted his head, Ness sighing slightly at the judge.

"He's not a stuffed animal sir, really."

"Oh, right, sorry. He is a...stuffed "alien", right? Why did you bring your toy in here? This is a place of serious business, son." The judge went on.

Gig sighed. The judge couldn't "see". Not yet, anyhow.

"I can't believe you brought a DOG in here too..."

Alex growled threats under his breath, mumbling about the absurdity of the American Judicial system.

"You are charged with assault of a minor, in direct violation of Onett's code of conduct, and laws of decency." The judge went on, adjusting his glasses as he looked over the pamphlet of legal documents at his mighty "throne".

"Don't we get a lawyer or something, sir?" Lucas asked.

"You're too young for one." The judge said. "Besides, lawyers are for people who don't want to accept responsibility for their actions."

A tiny tic mark appeared on Samus's head upon hearing the dismissive undertone in the old man's voice as she slammed her hands down onto the table and stood up. "I have something to say before you start passing sentences." She insisted loudly and proudly, eyes blazing brightly.

The judge raised a single thick, furry caterpillar-esque eyebrow as Pokey pouted deeply. "Oh, c'mon! You can't seriously-she's not even their mom!"

"I've acted _"in loco parenti"_ for them often. I've been out playing with them almost every day as a legal guardian. I know these kids. I know their character. And they...are **good** kids." Samus insisted.

The judge put his hands together, brow furrowing, lips pursing. "...go on." He said. "I'll allow this."

"They're different, yes, much more different than many of the people I see in here today." She informed them all, gesturing at the assembled citizens of Onett. "But that's because they see something in themselves that they didn't see before!"

"You're not allowed to lie in this court." Pokey Minch, frowning darkly.

"Wow. You know, I can't IMAGINE what you want to do to me. You must be so...put-off by all this. I mean, you really are a child of the 50's, aren't you? If just one thing goes wrong in your universe..." Samus said with a faint hint of smugness. "But the thing is, once the ball gets rolling, there ain't much you can do to stop it!"

"You're REALLY starting to annoy me..." Pokey hissed, his voice becoming older, more angrier. He suddenly sounded years beyond his time, even his face was changing, they could see wrinkles forming on his brow, grey coming over his face...

"People are breaking out in colors! Nobody's getting their dinners! You could get a FLOOD any minute! Why, why pretty soon, it could be WOMEN going out to work..."

Pokey's eyes became dark, burning coals, his fingers digging into the woodwork of the table.

"While the MEN stayed home and cooked."

"Why, they might even work alongside BLACK people!" Mario spoke up, laughing broadly. "Or Italian immigrants could-a end up being an Anglo-Saxon's boss-a!"

"Why, one day, they might actually LOWER the voting age!" Erin added. "Just imagine! TEENAGERS being allowed to vote!"

"NONE of that could happen, none of that **should** happen!" Pokey roared out.

"But it COULD happen!" Ness laughed.

"NO! IT! COULD-"

And with that, Pokey let out a gasp, realizing he was speaking with a voice creaky with age. He looked down at his gnarled, wrinkled hands, at the puckered, pale skin, feeling the AGE on his face and gasping as the others in the town gasped in surprise, Ness standing up, eyes widening.

"I...remember." He realized out loud, snapping his fingers. "I remember EVERYTHING! I...I..."

In an instant, the world became dark around him, all else fading save for him...and Gig...who slowly got off his leg and walked off to the side, hands held behind his back as he nervously lowered his head, sighing deeply.

"...Giygas." Ness murmured.

Giygas. World Destroyer. A PSI Lord from a world far away who had come to Earth to invade it, ensuring that PSI powers never spread to humanity. The "better safe than sorry" defense.

"...your great-great-grandfather, Ninten...his great grandparents were the only two humans I ever loved." Giygas said. "...Maria cared for me like I was her own, and...she sang to me. She sang to me..."

Tears began to spring in his eyes as the PSI Lord held his paws over his head. "I loved them, I did, but I couldn't let them bring psychic powers to your world, I...the potential you had, it...we were all so SCARED, and then when I faced Ninten I was left alone, and I've always been so alone...it HURTS, Ness...it hurts here." He said, putting a paw on his chest. "All I can feel is that hurt, that's the only thing that kept my spirit alive inside a tiny part of you...that hurt, that pain, that loneliness..."

Ness rubbed his arm, looking sympathetically at Giygas as the tiny alien fell to his knees and wept bitterly.

"Pokey had gotten old and bitter...he promised me an end to the pain if I just...played along and then, eventually, but... but the more time I spent with you, the more the pain went away, the more I began to feel...ha...hap...happy..."

He looked up, the tears trickling down his cheeks as he smiled sadly. "I've been out of the real world for so long...just like you...once this is over, I don't know what's waiting out there. I don't even know if I'll be able to survive...I don't even know if you'll remember me..."

"I'll always remember you." Ness told Gigyas, kneeling by him and hugging him tightly. "I'll never forget you, Gig. Don't forget me either, maybe...maybe it doesn't have to end this way..."

The darkness began to fade, piercing light shining down from above as color slowly crept across their faces...

"Maybe...maybe things are just beginning."

Now all was becoming white, a single doorway emerging from behind Giygas as Ness lifted him onto his back, smiling up at his friend. "It's like a fresh page. A whole new world of possibilities lie out there. C'mon, best buddy..."

He reached for the doorknob.

"_Let's go explorin'!" _


	31. Chapter 31

**CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE**

Back at the "Smash Pros" mansion as our protagonists sat in the enormous living room, an angry, very irate Pikachu was speaking with Mewtwo about the fact that his dear "nakama" was gone, virtually kidnapped right out from under their noses. For those of you wondering why Jigglypuff was not in trouble, I assure you, she was. She had, in fact, been tied to the wall with a giant "Help Me" humorously written in a cartoonish word bubble to the side, coming out from her gagged-up mouth as Link dusted himself off, Zelda nodding in approval. If there was one thing that the Hero of Time couldn't stand, it was cowardly maneuvers. And if there was one thing he was good at, it was working with his hands. Some arrows, strong, handmade rope...

Oh, the wonders of a child-proof kitchen!

"Why didn't you realize it wasn't him SOONER?" Pikachu demanded to know of Mewtwo as he jabbed a thumb in the psychic cat's direction, black eyes aglow with furious fire as Mewtwo folded his arms and chewed his lip.

"I was slightly DISTRACTED from his tickling violation of my body." Mewtwo remarked. "Hindsight, as they say, is always 20/20." He murmured, shaking his head back and forth as he held his balled paws to his forehead and rubbed it. "I didn't realize an immensely powerful psychic presence had been dominating Nick's body until a few minutes later, and by then, he had already left this world."

"This is most...discomforting.' Master Hand admitted as he hovered in place in the air, thinking out loud as Yoshi snacked away on a large pile of fried food. Whenever he was upset, he, like Kirby, ate. Kirby in fact was in the middle of cooking up a giant pot of gumbo in the kitchen, trying to work through the guilt as Peach tried to cheer him up with kind words.

"Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, there's something you should know." The blond princess insisted. "He'll be alright. He's a survivor."

"Must...stir..." Kirby mumbled as his chef's hat tipped slightly, mumbling as he kept stirring his gigantic spoon over the enormous round black cauldron. "...needs...salt..."

"Clearly we need to investigate this E.G.O." Princess Zelda murmured. "Could they have made concessions to the Goddess of Hyrule? An alliance, perhaps?"

"We know so little. I DESPISE not knowing enough." Mewtwo mumbled darkly as he folded his arms, chewing his lip. "And so many of us are not here with us to assist us in discovering the truth."

"Mhh thdd hah uhd suhwh!" (I said I was sorry) Jigglypuff mumbled out.

"So our kidnapper who took the kid's body for a joyride was an immensely powerful being that had the same sense of humor? Trust me, that human's going to be fine." Bowser chuckled as he went back to reading "Flowers of Algernon" from a collection of famous short stories, putting down his tiny pince-nez reading glasses with his clawed hands, shaking his head back and forth as he did so. "Anybody who takes the time to give the "tabby cat" there a horse kiss is not a threat."

...

...

...

... "You're not a threat. You never were." Verminthrax of the Dark Forest coldly laughed as he kicked Sude squarely in the stomach with his knee, forcing the white-furred dragon to his knees before he kicked the dragon squarely in the face for good measure. To Nick's surprise and disturbed horror, there was no blood coming from the wounds, instead what splattered across the ground, staining the once-beautiful green grass of the park across the way from "Doctor Kong's" home was unmistakably...milk. Yes, milk. Nick, an immense dairy fanatic, recognized the texture and smell immediately.

"He's...he's bleeding milk...he's like...like the Lamb..." Nick whispered, his hands going to his mouth as a deep, almost unfathomable sadness began to rise in him. This wasn't a fight. This wasn't even remotely fair. This was a one-sided slaughter. Sude wasn't even trying to defend himself, the most he was trying to do was stand upright longer than five seconds, and even that was proving to be a challenge, every time he rose, he was kicked, beaten, punched or smacked back down.

"Sir, ah, you might want to tone it back..." King K. Rool nervously murmured as he glanced around at the furious faces of both kongs and kremlings alike.

"I'm just getting STARTED!" Verminthrax cackled as he kicked Sude squarely up into the air, the rainbow-winged Seraphi hitting the ground as his crocodilian cousin chuckled and cracked his knuckles, toxicity and foul mud dribbling out the side of his gleefully grinning face. "I really am so disappointed in you. I thought you'd put up more of a fight. But no, everything about you is sub-par, your fighting skills, your choice in "varati", your delusional ideals. It just runs in the family. Which reminds me...I haven't seen them in a few weeks...have you?"

Sude's head snapped up. In that instant, the green tint at the bottom of his black eyes turned to a confused grey before slowly seeping into dark red.

"Do tell me...how IS your sister Treva?" Verminthrax asked.

"What...do...you...know..." Sude growled, getting to his feet as he rushed at Verminthrax, raising a fist, angrily screaming out a bellow as he flung it towards the golden-scaled fiend. The dark seraphi caught it, smirking as he kneed Sude in the crotch, forcing him down to his knees as he yanked back on his cousin's head.

"See, this is the beautiful part of it. You shall now die, never knowing what happened to your sister! Never sure where she is, if she's even still alive! You can't go wrong with such a classic move, wouldn't you say?" Verminthrax laughed as he held a claw up and lowered it slowly down to Sude's neck, preparing to cut through throat muscle.

Or at least, he WOULD have, had he not been punched squarely in the back of his wings, an audible CRACKING sound as his spine seemed to shatter, Doctor Kong glaring furiously down at the serpahi as he lifted him up, tossing him through the air and beating his chest. The proud Donkey Kong roared and bellowed, barreling across the park as he leapt up into the air, bringing his fists down on top of Verminthrax, and in that instant it was as if a veil had been lifted from the people's eyes. They only felt one thing, one shared desire.

Make...him...HUUUUURT.

"You know where my sister is?" Sude yelled angrily as Verminthrax was vigorously assaulted by the crowd, the white-furred dragon folding his arms and wings as Nick walked up alongside him. "You TELL me right now!"

"Knowing-GAH! And-GRAAUUGH! Telling are-EEECCCH! Two differ-AAAHHH! Different things-GUOOOOHHH!" The Lord of the Dark Forest was taking a harsh beating, quickly turning into a draconic punching bag for a fury of enraged former worshippers who were very incensed about their religion being revealed to be based around a manipulative, lying, perverted evil beast.

For what seemed to be many minutes, Nick stood there, hesitant to join in, yet hesitant to stop them. He couldn't say he didn't deserve it, but still...

Luckily, Sude did what he didn't have the courage to do.

"WAIT!"

They all stopped, turning and releasing the draconic being in their grip as Verminthrax fell back and to the ground, panting and heaving, his face a near-pulpy mess, teeth broken like his right leg and left hand. The Lord of the Dark Forest was, to put it succinctly, a bloody mess. Sude approached him, lifting the being up in the air, his silver-tipped hands now fully extending out, thickening and becoming sharp claws.

"You know...where my sister is. Now tell me where Treva is. Tell me what E.G.O has planned."

"Dr. Eggman has already set up shop with HIM in Kirby's world. It was never that stupid pink marshmallow that we were after. It was the other defender, the one that walks the dark path."

Nick's eyes widened. He knew a few things about Kirby's world. He knew about one being in particular. One being named Meta Knight...a dark knight wrapped in a cape the color of the sky as sun had just set...

"And your little girlfriend, well..." Verminthrax began to laugh as Sude tightened his grip, his eyes boring into Verminthrax's closed ones. "You'll never be able to get her back any more than my foolish cousin can save Treva. They're already DEAD, you got that?"

"Shut up." Sude snarled.

"THEY'RE ALREADY DEAD! THEY'RE ALREADY-"

Sude THREW him. It was as if the crocodilian being was nothing more than a rag doll, his body whizzing through the sky, vanishing far into the distance as a twinkling speck, Sude grinding his teeth slightly before he covered his face with one hand, shaking his draconic head back and forth. "He's lucky I know the limits of his powers, or else you would all be hearing one very loud and squelchy "pop"." He mumbled. "...oh, Treva..."

_"...oh, LILO..."_Nick thought to himself as he chewed on the skin of his thumb, peeling little pieces away in nervous habit as he sat down on a nearby bench with Donkey Kong, who carefully patted his back. "...I've got to get home." He told Sude. "I've got..."

Kirby. Kirby's world was in dangerous. Instantly Nick trailed off into a mumble as he lowered his head and chewed his lip. "...no. I've got to get back to the mansion. Go find the others. Let them know about Popstar. Let them know about Meta Knight."

Sude nodded and turned in King 's frightened direction as the reptilian liar's ape-like disguise faded away now that his master was long gone, giving him an angry glare and getting directly in his face, his muzzle pressing up against the reptilian ruler's snout.

"Never...come...back." Sude whispered.

With that, King screeched like a crow that had been shot at, running with his tail between his legs on all fours, scrambling to escape as he exited the futuristic city, making Sude blink in surprise. Why had the city not changed? Unless...maybe...

Sude turned to Donkey Kong and raised a nonexistent eyebrow, asking in a gentle, persuasive tone. "Doctor...do you finally feel like talking about what you did?"

"...I made the deal." Donkey Kong admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I made it with and his crocodilian benefactor made it happen. He made me brilliant...made me wise, and so very, very intelligent. With my knowledge I built this utopia. And now that he's gone, I have not the faintest idea as to how long my keen intelligence will remain." The tie-wearing ape sighed, holding his hands in the air as he shrugged.

"I'm sorry."

"...would you like to know the real reason why...why I wanted to be smart?" Donkey Kong asked as Nick saw some tears springing to his eyes. "I...I wanted to try wearing something other than a loincloth and a tie. I...wanted to feel like I was a real man. I..." He covered his face and took in deep, harsh, rattling breaths, trying to suppress sobs. "I wish I could take that mistake back..."

"Being smart or stupid doesn't make you any less or more of a man." Nick insisted. "Being Donkey Kong is enough. Well...that and the tie." He added with a slight chuckle. "It really is a nice tie."

Donkey Kong surprised himself with a smile. Meanwhile, Sude walked off, leaning against a tree, clutching himself as he rubbed his arm, thinking back to the past, thinking back to a scene far too similar to that one...thinking back to a time when he too had made a terrible mistake...

_Huge and bright and big and strong was Sude, Sentient Sun, Lord of the Seraphi, their Creator who offered up his prayers. His face was confident, firm, yet filled with a kindly life, like that of a child, a loving aura rising off of him in waves like it was smoke and he was a freshly cooked chocolate chip cookie. He stood facing a being made entirely of black and purple, cat-like in appearance, big and bright as Sude but in a different fashion. The light from him was not like from a sun, but reminded those who looked upon it like the type you would use at a part to illuminate the floor, as cascading rays from a disco ball stretched across. _

_The Sentient Sun and the Force of Fate, together within a gigantic temple similar to a step pyramid, the sun shining overhead and into a room filled with pearly walls and floors, with golden mosaic tiles showing decorative scenes all around. A few statues of gold with eyes of pearls were standing at the entrances, all of brave and noble and kind defenders of the plant, all Seraphi military technology was strictly defensive-only, save for the giant feathers they used for tickle torture. _

_Some offered cut-open pigs to their Gods. The Serpahi offered laughter and joy. It helped if the offering was especially ticklish on their feet._

_"I'll accept your offering later." Sude insisted to the couple as their son sighed and unstrapped himself from the silvery table nearby, heading down the pyramid, far out of sight and hearing of the two majestic beings as the entities faced each other. "What do you want, B?"_

"Your so-called children are beneath you." Came the persuasive and mellifluous tones of the eternally soliciting manipulator of destiny. "Though their natures are of great light, one who's focus is purely on the selfishness of temporal desires will rise. You must marshal the Seraphi into a force the likes of which none have ever seen. Transform this planet into a force that is mighty enough to make the galaxy tremble. Crack DOWN on them all and cease being the "fun boss"!"

Sude's normally kind face became filled with such power, velocity and authority that the volume was utterly irrelevant. "I will NOT do that to my best beloved!"

"_With their aid you could rise and ascend to a higher throne than the one you now rest upon!"_

"No!"

"They're weak and ineffective right now. You can SALVAGE these touchy-feely fools."

"I will not."

"I BESEECH you, Sude, don't lock me out! Heed my words! Grant me my request, it is the will of Fate!"

_"No."_

"But thou MUST!"

"_No. I must not. Thou will leave, Blacky." Sude said, gesturing for Blacky to leave as he clenched his paws tightly, shaking his head back and forth as his voice became haunting and ephereal._

"_It is not like you were not WARNED, Sude of the Seraphi! You could sit high above the Heavens, with no change, neither shadow of turning in your sight, but NO, you resist!" He then harshly laughed, turning around and holding a paw to his head as his laughter echoed through the air. "STILL you resist! Ha ha ha ha ha haaa! Ohhh, this is far, far, too good. I warned you, Sude. I WARNED you! HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-"_

"Sude?"

Sude was snapped out of his thoughts as Nick looked at him, standing nearby with Donkey Kong. "What? Oh, sorry. Just...thinking about the past."

"Your sister. What's she like?" Nick asked.

"...she was kind of stupid. But...she was nice. And sweet." Sude chewed his lip and then sighed. "I have to find her...but there are many innocents suffering right now in Kirby's world thanks to those villains who sought to manipulate the brave dark defender's feelings. I, like you, have been across the Multiverse, I know of Kirby's world, I can travel easily TO Kirby's world. And I think the time has come for him to return."

"Who says you can't go home?" Nick mused.

...

...

...

... "What if I do care for her that way?" Percival Tachyon mused as he sat atop his bed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, lights off, blinds closed, door locked. The only thing he had for company was his reflection in the mirror across the way. What if his interest in her was more than simply as a companion, needed and helpful company that proved enjoyable to be around and supportively assisting? What if...what if he was fond of her in THAT fashion?

It wasn't like he had not thought about...

...well...

Cragmites were hermaphrodites, he'd had...very "kinky" dreams, much of them related to revenge, to getting even, almost erotic...taking his time...enjoying it so, so much. But lately those dreams had been changing. Now it was HER face he saw instead of his, now his dreams were filled with a genuine smattering of real concern and love, not simple release and revenge.

And she was rather pretty. Lovely eyes. Strong, independent...

But after what had happened with Max Apogee, no, no. Not again. Tachyon rested his arms on the bed as he leaned back against it and rolled on his side, sighing slightly. Max had created this entire ship in exchange for sparing Angela's life just like she had given herself up as a prisoner to spare his. Max had been worked nonstop for days, Tachyon personally overseeing everything as often as possible, spending time with Max every day. In fact, as time went on, Max began to actually speak to him, talk about his family, his friends, his early days in the military as a scientist before he'd gone independent and had switched fields from military research to time and space physics.

SOME TIME AGO...IN A GALAXY NOT SO FAR, FAR AWAY...

"You know...I was never there for my family. Even though I wanted to be. I didn't even quit the army on the day my mother was on my deathbed. I couldn't bring myself to." The pink-skinned, pointy-eared, beer-gutted Max Apogee had told Ratchet as he got to work on the finishing touches for the defense systems, installing wires beneath the bridge controls as Tachyon folded his arms, tilting his head slightly to the side as several dozen Gragmite guards kept the room totally "secured". No way was he escaping.

"Yes?" Tachyon had asked. "So?"

"So I took a swing at my commanding officer, Captain Steele. Got myself discharged. Mom still died when I was en route to the hospital." Max finished quietly, wheeling himself out from underneath the bridge defense controls, dusting himself off and putting his tools back into their kit. "Like I said...never there for my family." He murmured, scratching his thick beard.

Tachyon found his face softening. "...I'm sorry." He said quickly, blinking in surprise. Had he just said that? Could it be that he found himself feeling...regret? No, no, this was not the thing an emperor was supposed to feel. A true leader had to be as moral as a hurricane, that was what Susan Marie had said to him before she'd died in his arms, giving the last of her life energy to open up a way for him to leave that alternate dimension, to find his people once again. He'd felt her dissipate into nothing but tiny points of light, the sensation of her death striking deep into him-

He WAS feeling regret. The death of somebody who had only tried to help him was weighing on his reawakened conscience, and now he was feeling guilty over forcing this poor middle-aged Markazian to work day and night.

"...why don't you come into my office tonight?" Tachyon had offered almost kindly in that almost reptilian, yet almost robotic tone of his. "And...have a...a drink. Yes, a drink."

FIVE MINUTES AND SEVERAL BOTTLES LATER...

"So-so they-they kicked you out of the talent show?" Max laughed, his considerably already slightly reddish nose now looking like a miniature tomato as the two giggled and chuckled, Tachyon popping a cork from another bottle of Pokitaran firewhiskey. It wasn't as good as Vortian, but it WAS cheaper. "How come?"

"Well, one of the judges knew Morse code." Tachyon sniggered as he held one hand over his mouth. "You know, Maxxy...you've been with me for half a year now...I'd like you to think of me more as your BOSS than your master." He said in a slurred voice, hiccupping slightly.

"Sure thing, "boss"." Max said as he took a sip of some more firewhiskey, hiccupping. "But you gotta promise me not to repeat THAT."

"Look, I apologized for that."

"...yeah, yeah."

"I'm really sorry, but you should know better."

"Yeah, yeah, when you start dancing at the New Year's Party, I should close my eyes." Max admitted quietly.

PRESENT...

"Good times." Tachyon thought to himself, a smile stretching across face. "Yes, good times."

He then inwardly sighed, sitting up as he thought about Max's final days, the disease claiming everything. Paralysis, chills, near-comatose-level motor responses, a darkening of the skin and then...death. Angela hadn't blamed him, it hadn't been his fault, yet Tachyon had still felt responsible somehow, and also regretful, not merely that Max had not finished the last touches on his ship, but that a worthy being to talk to was gone. Somehow, Max's death had felt like his fault...like he hadn't done enough to help him.

...no more regrets, he decided as he stood up from his bed, turning and leaving his room, heading into Angela's as she looked up from her desk at his face.

"May I speak with you?" He inquired, closing and locking the door behind them as he sat on her bed, Angela joining him as he folded his arms across his vested chest, trying to find the right words. "I have been trying to...discover what it is I want. At first it was only revenge that I was thinking of, yet as more time has passed, I keep thinking of you." He admitted. "...and of..."

"Of what?"

"...of doing this." He said suddenly as he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Angela's furry body trembled when the Cragmite's lips met hers. Part of her wanted to pull away, but another part wanted to stay, while the rest of her just wanted the other two parts to make up their minds so it could know if it should move or not. Tachyon pulled away from her and saw the confliction in her face. "I'm sorry." he said. "That was...er...very forward of me. Perhaps too forward." He murmured, looking down and away.

"Yes it was," said Angela tremulously. "I should..." She hesitated. "...er...Tachyon, I have to admit it...it isn't like I haven't...THOUGHT about it."

Tachyon's head shot up, eyes widening. "...wait...you mean you're not upset?"

"No…just confused," replied Angela. "I have never…no one has ever made me feel this way before, and I'm not sure what to do about it. I've always been in control…but this is something that I can't…I don't understand these feelings. They honestly frighten me, the way you sometimes frighten me."

"...I'd never hurt you." Tachyon found himself saying quietly, softly, caressing her cheek with his clawed hand. "...I promise."

The two drew in close.

...

...

...

...needless to say, the others at the Mansion were reasonably surprised by the reappearance of Erin, Alex and Nick. They had come back and brought home "strays" with them, one of them being a PSI lord that looked almost like a cat, the other a giant white dragon that reminded Erin of, and I quote, "A Giant Winged Care Bear Cousin".

"But he's so CUUUUUTE!" She said, squeezing Sude tightly as the draconic entity nervously blushed, having shrunken down to fit inside of the mansion, Gigyas and Mewtwo circling each other, pads pawing the ground as their tails slowly whipped back and forth in the air. The two rubbed their respective chins, nodding and "hmm-hmming" as they did so, Gigyas breaking the silence.

"You seem so eerily familiar. I can't help but feel a deep comradeship with you."

"Indeed, I see within you a like-minded soul." Mewtwo admitted. "Shall we retire to the lounge to read Sartre to the little dibbuns?"

"I'd happily let you lead the way, my fine fellow."

"Your little Reading Rainbow session shall have to wait." Master Hand informed them all with his usual authoritative voice, wagging a giant pointer finger in the air. "As of this insant, Kirby's world is top priority above all else! Sude, you shall open up a portal to take us there and will assist us in this. Kirby, feel free to pick whomever you'd like to go on your team."

"I want Yoshi, Jigglypuff and Pikachu to come with me." Kirby said firmly. "And I'd like Ness and Doctor Kong to join in as well."

"ME?" Jigglypuff exclaimed, eyes widening as she put a stubby hand to her "chest".

"HER?" Mewtwo exclaimed. "Why would you choose her?"

"She has seeeerious making-up to do." Kirby insisted as he folded his arms. "You're still with E.G.O, aren't you?"

"Not now. I failed...I'm out. They'd kill me if they caught me. That's why Ridley left after he-"

"Alright, alright." Samus spoke up, waving an armored hand in the air. "She can atone for what she did by being a human shield."

"EH-HEM." Jigglypuff harrumphed, blowing up slightly in place and waving a marker threateningly in the air as she hopped up and down on a nice antique rug.

"Sorry, Pokémon shield."

"MUCH better-HEEEEYYY!" Jigglypuff screeched.

"Fine by me. I have to write a letter or two." Nick said. "If Master Hand would be so kind as to, oh, I dunno, magic up a mailbox for me that'll get it where I want to go?"

"It's reality manipulation based upon a linear alteration of time and space through an reonerbation of the multi-modal-oh FORGET IT. The explanation would go over your head." Master Hand mumbled. "Fine! Magic mailbox coming right up."

"Magic portal coming right up!" Sude laughed, grabbing at midair and yanking a swirling circular portal open as they were treated to a terrifying and frightening sight.

Popstar, Home to the Fountain of Dreams in Dreamland, was meant to be a happy, cheery place. People saying "Howdy, neighbor" and children laughing as they played with gumdrop smiles. Cute little butterflies and bunnies romping around under a clear blue sky in a world with almost no sharp corners whatsoever.

This was not that kind of world.

"Bloody HELL, it's like something from an H.R Giger wet dream!" Alex whispered as he looked upon the world before them. Every blade of grass had been paved over, all was dark grey ground with pebbles scattered here and there. Tall skyscrapers and jagged buildings pierced up into darkening skies of red and purple as enormous vid-screens proclaimed a single message above moving throngs of sad, dejected and defeated people...

Obey.

Obey.

OBEY, it repeated, this message. Plastered on signs, blinking in bars, written in tiny lettering on the yellow divider lines of the enormous stretches of roads that ran through the city, the word "Obey" repeated again and again, with one particular individual's face broadly displayed behind it. This face, this Man in the Iron Mask, gazed out with deep yellow eyes that had lost all happiness and gentleness, at one point Meta Knight had looked like a blue Jack O'Lantern, eyes filled with life and passion like a dancing fire. Now they were cold and burnt out like matchsticks, his mask even more steely than before, his cape black as his heart seemed to be.

Obey.

Obey.

Obey.

"We need to get there and we need to get there yesterday." Kirby insisted to his team as Master Hand wagged a finger in the air.

"One moment." In an instant, Kirby felt a buzzing, twitchy feeling on his forehead and he turned around to look at his friends. Ness, Donkey Kong, Jigglypuff, Pikachu and Yoshi all had smudges on their head...no, not smudges. Upon closer examination, you could clearly tell that they were letters. "SP" for Smash Pros.

"Only visible to you. And as you convince others to help you in your cause, they'll gain the Mark too. Convert enough and you'll be able to see ALL who are sympathetic to you." Master Hand explained. "I can do that, and get you false identities in this world, so that you will be treated as residents of Popstar, but beyond that, such as finding a place to stay, finding Meta Knight, I'm afraid...you are on your own."

"They aren't going to be alone. They will have me." Sude insisted firmly. "I will shield you from all I can. You have my promise." He told them.

...

...

...

...the new city hall, complete with an immense park, that Emperor Tachyon of the Cragmites was to be personally opened by President Qwark of the Polaris Galaxy. Qwark and his dearest associates were going to be welcomed in an enormous gala with all who could attend. It was open invitation to all, with loudspeaker-carrying trucks on giant treads trekking through the city, proudly proclaiming the park's opening.

Ratchet the Lombax was amazed at how many people were milling about amongst the Cragmites, who all seemed remarkably well-behaved, and all of them had been quite interested in him when he'd first arrived, truth be told. There was a deep admiration in their eyes for him, he and Clank kept being asked for autographs, to pose with a couple, to hold or kiss somebody's baby. Some people were singing with large Cragmites who had broken open kegs of beer, others were waving flags in the air. Tachyon had become a philanthropist.

It was true what they said; if you wanted somebody or something to speak up about how amazing you were, well...money talks. And that money had bought very nice limos.

"Look at them." Ratchet said, gesturing with a gloved hand at the motorcade around them, which was being led and followed by Galactic Ranger tanks, with a joint partnership of Star Command's fleets flying overhead. Between these tanks were three immensely gaudy and oversized limos, the first containing Captain Qwark, old "butt-face" himself, with Angela, Tachyon, he and Clank getting out of the open-windowed vehicle, waving at the crowd as they stood by the giant red ribbon that was wrapped around city hall's towering ivory pillars.

Tachyon had never looked so cheerful and...dare Ratchet say it, NICE. He seemed more spry and cheery than ever, wearing a gold and white cloaked vest which was cinched at the waist with a silver belt that glowed with a light from a beautiful diamond of some kind. Angela was dressed like a beautiful svelte column of sky that had been carefully removed from the heavens, her suit finely fitting her sleek frame as she brushed her ears back slightly, pearl earrings glittering. Tachyon took her long-gloved hands, his face beatifically gazing upon her as if eager to embrace her right then and there even as Qwark made his speech.

"Wisdom. Power. Intelligence. A lovely singing voice. But enough about ME, you're here for Percival Tachyon." Qwark chuckled, everyone laughing a little as Qwark paused for effect, Clank rolling his green eyes.

"What a load of BULL-"

"SHH!" Ratchet whispered as Qwark finished up the quick little speech, cutting the ribbon with a giant but rounded-off pair of scissors. Safety first!

Soon Ratchet was sipping some Vortian Firewhiskey, the GOOD stuff, with Angela and Tachyon as Tachyon eagerly looked him over, having finished outlying his newest invention idea.

"I was inspired by the Dimensionator, truth be told. But instead of teleporting individuals, it heals them. It seeks out specific DNA sources and corrects any mistakes in their biological makeup." Tachyon explained as he outlined it in a portable holo-vid display, gesturing with his clawed hand. "Fascinating, is it not, Ratchet of Veldin?"

"Er...yeah, I suppose." Ratchet admitted, looking over at Angela's face as she nervously rubbed the back of her neck. "Angela, is something wrong?"

"There's...something I need to tell you." Angela admitted, Tachyon putting his hand around her waist as Clank's eyes immediately widened at the sight of the thing in Tachyon's waist as he realized just what KIND of diamond it was. The other guests in the dining area all turned, Qwark's mouth half-full of crab cake as Tachyon slipped the ring onto her finger. "I'm getting married. We're engaged."

Ratchet's mouth fell open as he dropped the firewhiskey bottle.

"And...the two of us are expecting."

TWHUMP.

"...er...if you do not mind me inquiring, may I ask...?"

"Not at all, Clank."

"I...that is to say...when did this baby...BEGIN?" Clank inquired as Qwark sighed, tugging his face down and kneeling by Ratchet, realizing he was now going to have to start CPR.

Waddle Doonesbury, Captain of Peacekeeping Forces, looked the newcomers to his city over. "So...you're here to refresh your citizenship papers, eh?" He remarked, folding his arms and tilting his head to the side ever-so-slightly. His whole body was round like Kirby's, only red, with a brownish/tan face and stubby black eyes. Not much of a mouth...in fact, he HAD no mouth. Waddle Doos like him ate via osmosis.

Did I forget to mention that every single tree and cloud in Dreamland had eyes? Stubby eyes like Kirby and the Waddles did?

...yeah, this place was weird. Like "Mushroom Kingdom" weird.

"Yes, sir." Kirby said in his childlike voice, anxiously saluting as Sude looked Waddle Doonesbury over. He had only one arm, and one stump for a leg, he just rolled around in a wheelchair, severe burns covering his body. What had happened to him?

"You look familiar, Mr. Jack." Doonesbury remarked, frowning slightly. "I think I remember you from somewhere. Back when I was whole. I know you, or at least, a friend of yours. Is Jack your real name?"

"No. It's Bauer." Kirby wisecracked.

"Heh. Yes, yes, Meta Knight is QUITE the "24" fan. We've been bringing Earthling culture here for years now. I personally am obsessed with Futurama myself, the way my parents were obsessed with Earthling comic strips. Hence my...embarrassing name."

"Well it's a nice name to me." Yoshi complimented as he shrugged slightly.

Doonesbury sighed and rubbed the space between his eyes. "Yeah, well, tell that to my sister, Waddle Doorothy."

Jigglypuff suppressed a snort as Pikachu elbowed her in the side, all of them getting their forms as they headed out of what had, at one point, been a lovely little corner deli. Now it was a "Citizenship Facility", with a long line behind them. Sighing as Sude ushered them into an enormous dark blue bus that was being used to take re-registered citizens to their "re-initiation" sites, where they'd recite an oath of loyalty, take a test and then be free to leave.

Kirby was surprised at how well the bulky thing was handling the jagged terrain of the roads outside of the city. It was amazingly comfortable AND quiet. It might have looked like a tank, but it purred like a kitten and handled like a dream. It even had seat belts! Hey, that was something, right?

"Can't...get...belt...around...waist!" Jigglypuff gasped out, finally dissolving into tears over her "terrible figure" as Sude gently patted her on the head. "Ohhh, curse my love of eating everything from the carton!"

"Have you considered joining the Weight Watchers?" Sude asked, pulling out a small brochure and smiling down at her. "It's never too late! The Kingdom of Dieting is at hand!"

"...well...these non-fat double chocolate muffins DO look nice." She admitted sheepishly.

It wasn't long before they finally reached the facility, and it was an ugly thing, surrounded on all sides by barbed wire with stony walls. Going into it, Kirby shuddered as he felt a chill rise in him. This place used to be the school. There had been a little crabapple tree out front...and a nice bench by a bike rack. So much had been changed. Far too much, in his opinion-

Pikachu's head whipped to the side and his eyes widened in horror as he leapt atop of the seat and let out a single, rousing screech. "EVERYBODY DOWN, NOW!"

And with that, a missile slammed into the bus.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note:**

**I wish to thoroughly apologize to all who are reading this. I really, REALLY should have updated this sooner. What happened was simple: my old laptop…which I'd gotten at my first week of school…after four years of great service…**

**Went and died. Puttered out. THWOOP. I could turn the thing on but…nothing would boot up. Not even the display.**

**So I went to get a new one. An HP Pavilion, a g6-1b79dx Notebook PC. The problem was…well…it froze randomly. Sometimes after just a few minutes, sometimes after just a few hours, usually for no good reason. So its been in the shop for a long time, I just got it back less than a week ago and I'm trying to make up for lost time. I certainly hope you can all forgive me, and that you'll enjoy this new chapter. **

**With apologies once again…**

**Nick**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO**

The blue-skinned, silver-masked Meta Knight was a foreboding, silent, introspective being. He stood like a statue, his piercing yellow eyes gazing out of a series of large windows, watching over his city, his people. He kept himself cloaked in his usual blue cape, but there was something…quietly sad about him. A miasma of depression and resignation was digging its silky claws into him and would not let go.

King Dedede, the Penguin "Prince", as it were, one step below the mighty Meta Knight in terms of ruling over Dreamland, could tell instantly something was on his mind. Clearing his throat, he waddled his way over the silky dark blue carpeting to stand some distance behind the masked Dreamlander. "Hey."

"…" Meta Knight momentarily cast a fleeting glance back before turning to once more face the shimmering lights of the city.

"I imagine y'all heard the reports about…the bombing of that bus." Dedede said, withdrawing his enormous hammer into a small pouch on his belt as it magically shrunk.

"…there were at least a dozen children on that bus." Meta Knight said, his voice low, solemn, his eyes half-closed. "…I went there with the Guardian Forcers. There was a bracelet. It was…still attached to…"

He couldn't speak any further. His eyes closed fully and he lowered the cape from his body, slowly sitting down on his rump.

"Sir?"

"I pulled Dreamland out of a world of sloth, laziness and stagnancy. I wanted to make our land great, and make sure our people could never be taken advantage of. And what did I do?...I took advantage of them myself."

"Yeah, I admit, I kinda thought you…" Dedede murmured.

Waving a hand in the air, Dedede was silenced. Meta Knight knew what he meant.

…But…

He would never know what the blue-skinned penguin was thinking.

"I'd kinda HOPED…"

…

…

…

… "Wakey-wakey, guys." Jigglypuff's voice crooned, our fluffy, heroic protagonists rubbing their heads, awakening to find themselves in an enormous underground bunker, with walls of steel and enormous structures all around. An entire underground city of sorts, or at least, HALF a city. More like a…bunch of ghettos stuck together with wires going in and out of the cavernous walls. Jigglypuff was standing there with a yellowish-skinned child who was with her faintly-brown-skinned brother, both of them dressed in tight-fitting white shirts and black shorts like their compatriots, and all wearing headbands with a star logo on top.

"…Tiffany? Tufyal?" Kirby stated, blinking in surprise.

"Why'd you leave, Kirby?" The girl, Tiffany asked.

"We waited for ya to come back. Ya said you were comin' right back." The fringe-haired Tufyal insisted as Kirby and the others followed them along a street and into a small, circular building with a large computer console to the far side, situated by several refrigerators and with tables lining up and down to their far left. "We thought…you'd come back sooner."

"I didn't know." Kirby squeaked out in a lame, confused voice. "…I had said "no", I had thought…"

"It's alright." Tiffany sighed, shaking her head back and forth as she reached into the refrigerator, pulling out some bottled water and lemonade for everyone, along with, of course, several apples for Kirby. Kirby popped one in his mouth as they all took a seat at one of the many tables, Tiffany taking a long swig from her water as she leaned back, the rest of the Cappy Dreamlanders all sititng around, looking at him. "I guess you wanna know how things went so downhill?"

"If you may begin at the beginning?" Jigglypuff asked her, Tiffany looking her over.

"Good thing we missed your friends." She admitted. "…is she one of…y'know…yours?"

"What? Oh, no, no! Not the same species! We're not even close." Jigglypuff insisted, waving stubby paws in the air. "Just a serendipitous resemblance."

"Seren-yep. DEFINITELY not related." Tufyal chuckled as Kirby frowned a bit at this.

"Please, how did this happy place become so…abysmally dark?" Pikachu asked. "Kirby told me this "Dreamland" he called home was a place of warmth and love, where children laughed and played with gumdrop smiles."

"I haven't smiled in a long time." Tiffany said. "But I'll explain how it went wrong. After Dedede failed to convince Kirby that there was anything really wrong with Dreamland, he kinda gave up, or so we thought. He just went back to his palace, kept playing croquet on his lawn, life went on like normal, but then…"

"Then?"

"…then he approached Meta Knight. We never saw it coming. The two were just talking one day in the café in town, and one moment the sun is shining and birds are chirping, the next…"

"FWOMP. Mister Blue Sky, please tell us why, you gotta hide away for so long!" Tufyal remarked, making a gesture with his hands like the sun was plucked from the sky.

"And then HE came." Tiffany said, everyone in the room collectively shivering and shuddering as a terrible, old memory fluttered in their mind. Instantly a chill seemed to fill the room as if the temperature had dropped even though nobody there had done a thing. No, it was raw fear filling the room, raw fear chilling the bone.

"WHO came?"

"N-Nightmare." Tufyal whispered out as Kirby's eyes widened in horror, the little blue dots turning to pinpricks as he let out a terrified scream.

"NO! He's dead, he's DEAD! You're LYING!" He screamed at them, whacking Tiffany uselessly. "He's DEAD, HE'S DEAD HE'S DEAD, HE'S dead he's dead…" He repeated, whimpering pitifully as he finally broke down, sobbing into Tiffany's chest as she gently held him close.

"Who is this…being…that evokes such terror from you?" Dr. Kong asked.

"Well, Charlie-boy, Nightmare happens to be the one responsible for this being a place where dreams come true." Tufyal told him, sighing deeply as he folded his arms and shook his head back and forth, leaning back in his chair.

"That sounds idyllic!" Donkey Kong commented, scratching his head in confusion. "What is so terrible-"

"You don't GET it!" Kirby said hysterically as he whipped away from Tiffany, his eyes filled with sheer, unmitigated terror as he waved his arms in the air. "I'm not talkin' bout those hopes and prayers you get that make up a normal day, the things you really want in life, I mean DREAMS, ya got it? **DREAMS**!"

For a few moments nobody said anything. And then Ness let out a gasp, his hands flying to his mouth. "Oh…my." He whispered. "That IS…"

"What? WHAT? I don't get it." Yoshi said, blinking stupidly.

"I must confess I am-oh…oh dear." Donkey Kong gulped, adjusting his tie as Pikachu chewed his lip, growling a bit as Sude turned to Yoshi and placed a great hand upon the green-scaled dinosaur's shoulders.

"Yoshi…have you ever had a bad dream? Or just…a normal dream?"

"Yeah!"

"…what are dreams like? Do things…make sense? Do things…have much order?"

"Nah, I mean one time I dreamed Mario's head was on the neck of a Koopa!" Yoshi chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye. "And, and Bowser was trying to take off his shell to play croquet-"

That stopped him dead in his tracks as he suddenly put two and two together, imagining a world in which somebody's head could literally end up swapped on another. A world where things floated randomly by you, a world that was more like a place where nightmares came true than real, dearly beloved dreams.

"…oh heck." Yoshi murmured. "And that power's spilling out all over Dreamland?"

"He made it spill out, and Meta Knight stood up to him. He almost declined to fight against him, he acted like he was unworthy, but when he DID beat back Nightmare, we insisted he become our ruler, he was…he was the only one we trusted. Dedede had gotten the spell cast, Nightmare had made our land wrecked, Meta Knight was just a pawn, but we knew he had honor, or at least…we thought he did." Tiffany murmured sadly, putting her hands in her laps.

"He demanded that everyone turn over all weapons across Popstar, destroying 90% with him keeping the rest. All our magical items, all our technology, all over to him. And he promised that if anybody tried to threaten Dreamland, he'd wipe them off the face of Popstar."

"An "honorable man" threatening to blow countries off the face of Popstar." Pikachu snorted on the spot, folding his arms, tail twitching behind him. "Honorable men do not need to make threats."

"That "honorable man" runs all the news media, has created a one world currency and is currently in the middle of making a one-world religion." Tiffany added.

Sude had been in the middle of drinking a fine draught of lemonade. He promptly spat out the contents all over Tufyal, letting out a half gasp, half growl of "WHAT?" that was so loud it practically shook the house. "He-I-I cannot believe he-he's WHAT?"

"He said that true unity was the best solution to our world's problems, and we believed him." Tiffany told them.

"TRUE Unity comes from an acceptance that there's more than one way to realize truth, even if there IS only one truth." Sude said coldly. "He might have kept Nightmare from slaughtering your race…but he is not creating peace. He HAS not created peace. He's only created **fear**."

"He's also created a tournament, and THAT'S our ticket in to getting close enough to him." Tiffany remarked, putting down a large pamphlet onto the table as the others looked it over, tilting their head to the side ever-so-slightly in surprise. "Every month he holds it. There's been all kinds of winners, all of them got a chance to meet Meta Knight in person in his private palace, escorted by Dedede himself. Most have gotten lots of money, or food, or people freed from jail…he always fulfills each request."

"If we win this tournament…we can get to him, break Nightmare's spell over him, revert everything back to normal, right?" Yoshi asked, grinning broadly. "When's the next one begin?"

"In three days." Tufyal told them all, walking over to a calendar on the wall and pointing at a red-circled day, the 24th of April. "And luckily, we've got one of the best dang trainers in all of Dreamland on our side!"

…

…

…

…the inner dojo of Knuckle Joe was a plain, simple place with a common, ordinary mat, rather ugly wallpaper, and several candles on the walls. In fact, the only interesting things inside said room were the banners on the walls and Knuckle Joe himself, a small, blond-haired guy with a white headband around his forehead. He was holding his gloved hands in his lap, his shirt and pants were combined into one red outfit with red shoes to boot, and his hair was parted in the center into two wavy tufts…

Which kept drooping every time his head did. Evidently he'd been "meditating" a bit too long and was close to falling asleep.

"Heh-hem?" Yoshi rapped on the wall as he, Kirby and the others walked inside, Tufyal and Tiffany flanking them.

"Who disturbs my meditation as a pebble disturbs the stillness of the pond?" Knuckle Joe inquired.

"It's me, Joe!" Kirby said cheerily, sticking one little "hand" out and beaming broadly, eyes closed. "Haaiii-iiii!"

THRUCKA-THRAM!

"WHERE THE H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS DID YOU RUN OFF TO, YOU LAZY LITTLE PIG?" Joe snarled out, Tufyal and Tiffany barely able to hold him back at all as he swiped his gloved fists at a sore Kirby, who nursed a very painful-looking bruise in between his eyes.

"Sorry, I had to help my friends." Kirby said apologetically. "It was really urgent. Besides, they hadn't convinced me that there was anything that needed changing in Dreamland, I thought their plan had failed."

"Of course you'd think that, you think you're…" Joe trailed off, rolling his eyes as Tufyal and Tiffany let him go as he turned around, folding his arms. "What exactly are you doing here anyhow? What do you ask of me?"

"We heard about the fighting tournament. I guess that none of the people you entered won…right? Yourself included?" Jigglypuff inquired, chuckling slightly.

"…yes." Joe mumbled, turning red as a beet in his cheeks. "Though Tiffany and Tufyal are skilled…the others…"

"Well, that's to be expected! You were the only one with powers, but we're Smash Pros!" Jigglypuff bragged, whacking her "chest" and nodding vigorously. "You might not have had a chance before, but now! NOW you've got a genius." She went on, tapping her head. "So with your fighting knowledge, my tech-savvy and our innate skills…we're going to rock…their…WORLD."

"…it doesn't work for you." Sude said simply. "I'm sorry, but your voice is just so squeaky. It's like you inhaled an entire tank of Helium."

"…you didn't have to remind me." Jigglypuff sniffled, wiping her "nose" as Tiffany escorted her out of the dojo, Joe looking over our brave ragtag "heroes" as he rubbed his chin.

"Hmm. Do ANY of you know any martial arts?"

"Well, I know how to meditate. I remember that much." Kirby offered.

"…teaching YOU's gonna take a while." Joe sighed, shaking his head back and forth.

"I'm familiar with the Kanto and Shinto style of Martial arts." Sude told them, nodding curtly.

"I'm a Street Fighter. Mario taught me everythin' I know!...and Luigi taught me how to dodge…and run…and scream…" Yoshi trailed off.

"Yes, well…I'm not too much for fisticuffs." Donkey Kong remarked. "Having said that, my fists are enormously gargantuan, and if properly honed…" He punched the air. "I DO have a liking for Boxing, the "Sweet Science"."

"I'm skilled in the ways of Tekken, the Iron Fist fighting style. Self-trained." Pikachu said simply, slamming his fist into his palm as he nodded firmly at Joe, who's eyes widened in awe.

"Iron Fist? That IS good." He eagerly nodded. "Perhaps you and "White Power" over there can show me some of your moves?"

Sude tugged his face down, groaning loudly. "Oh PLEASE, don't use that name! I haven't heard that nickname since I was in HIGH SCHOOL…it's quite embarrassing!"

"Were you a Sports star?" Joe asked.

"…er, no, actually, it…er…it was the…name of…my…um…my…that is…" Sude trailed off, blushing so badly that his entire body turned slightly pink.

Joe actually began laughing so hard that his knees totally **buckled**, and Tiffany and Tufyal had to escort him to the medical wing to get him some morphine.

"Heh-heh-heh." Yoshi laughed madly. "Don't feel too bad, sir! Mario calls his "The Plunger"."

…

…

…

… "Now, the first thing I must ask…is that you not question me…no matter HOW strange my methods seem. Do we have an agreement?" Knuckle Joe insisted as he walked in front of our ragtag group.

"Uh, sir, yes sir?" Kirby nervously murmured.

"Absolutely." Sude spoke firmly.

"You've got it, sir." Yoshi agreed.

"You're the boss." Jigglypuff said with a shrug.

"I'm quite ready, sir." Donkey Kong insisted.

Pikachu bowed deeply, clasping his paws together.

"Then let's begin!" Knuckle Joe said as he sat down on the mat in the center of the room, clasping his hands together and nodding firmly at them all. "First thing's first. I want you all to practice patience…to practice being steadfast. You must be as unmovable as a mountain."

"But Mohammad moved a-" Sude spoke up, deciding to stay quiet.

"Get into a meditative position." Knuckle Joe demanded as all of them sat Indian-style on the enormous mat, Kirby nervously twitching a bit, though not as much as Jigglypuff. "Now…"

Joe stood up, walking along the walls, speaking low, deep and in a VERY important-sounding voice like he was Martin Luther King addressing millions at Washington, DC. "Gaze into the heart of the candle in meditation. Repeat this word, again and again. Om."

"…Om."

"OMMMM."

"Ommmmmm…"

"Ommmmmmmmm…"

"Ommmmmmmmmmmmm…"

Soon an "Ommm-ing" began to fill the room, all of them relaxing as a sense of comforting peace began to fill them all. Kirby actually smiled. This was pretty darn relaxing! He imagined himself as nothing more than a floating pink balloon, making its way across a serene blue sky, heading higher and higher into the white heavens that the clouds made-

"HUAAAAAH!" A fist flying right at his face. Kirby immediately shrieked and jumped back a bit as Joe sighed, shaking his head back and forth. "No, no. Kirby, I wasn't actually gonna rock and sock ya. It was a test, kid. A TEST, and you failed, ya bum!"

"…sorry." Kirby apologized, blushing a little as he got back in the meditative position, Joe shaking his head back and forth some more.

"When you find yourself without any fear…THEN, kid. **THEN** you're gonna be ready for the big leagues!" Joe decided.

And so, the training began. Joe had them running all around the dojo, following him as they carried each other, Donkey Kong being so strong he could carry all of them in one hand, though Sude came close.

_**"Sensei, help us make the cut!"**_ Joe yelled out angrily, punching the air as he had them all do push-ups on the spot.

"_**Sensei, help us make the cut!" **_All of them sang back.

"_**Save our sorry, sweat-stained butts!"  
**_  
_**"Save our sorry, sweat-stained butts!"  
**_  
_**"Ain't no time to celebrate! You are fat and overweight!" **_Joe insisted to Kirby, forcing the poor lump to do push-ups with HIM on top.

"I want my mommyyyyy…" Kirby whined.

"_**Gotta lose a million pounds! Get your fat butt off the ground!" **_Joe roared in Jigglypuff's face as she punched a punching bag over and over, angrily pounding the crap out of it…Joe had been willing enough to put his photo onto it as an insignia for her to whack. _**"Reach on down and touch your toes! How long since you looked at those?"**_

"This seems startlingly similar to my Freshman year in College!" Sude gasped out, doing that exact kind of toe-touching as Pikachu practiced with a blunt Katana, spinning it and giving rapid cuts to a large slab of pork that was being used for practice, electricity sizzling up the blade as he did so.

"You had a sadistic drill sergeant for a gym teacher?" Yoshi asked as he ran like mad on a treadmill some distance away from Jigglypuff, who by now was going psychotic as he bit and chewed into the punching bag, screeching like a banshee.

"No! I joined a fraternity! I had to carry buckets of used bath water on a gymnast banner while men in cloaked hoods screamed "_Pussy_" in my face!" Sude yelled back.

"C-can't…take…any…more…" Kirby moaned out as he was forced to jump up and down for one of the most heinous of exercises.

"_**Jumping jacks are good for you!" The**_furious Joe insisted.

"OHHHHH…"

_**"…now your face is-**_turning blue_**?"  
**_  
"**OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH**…"

THWUMP!

"Kirby forgot to breathe again." Sude said sympathetically, shaking his head back and forth. "Anyone? Anyone?"

"…er…" Yoshi gulped.

"Never knew how, sorry." Donkey Kong insisted.

"Er…I…uh…" Joe mumbled.

"No. Just…no." Pikachu insisted.

"Don't look at ME." Jigglypuff said quickly.

"…starting CPR." Sude sighed, taking a deep breath and kneeling by Kirby.

…

…

…

…it was the day the tournament began, and there was a thick energy in the air. Kirby couldn't stop nervously looking around the enormous skyscrapers that lined the streets, at the gloomy-and-doomy buildings that made up the capital of Dreamland. Where once had been beautiful colors and serene skies…all was steely and black, with the occasional splotches of red and white for the signs.

Except…

Except there was one place that gleamed big and bright and gold in the center of the city, and that place was the enormous Dreamland Coliseum. With a pearly white dome atop golden arches and ramparts, it shone like a piece of jewelry that had been secretly buried underneath a collection of toys for charity. Thousands were piling into it or around it, looking at the floating holo-vid screens that were hovering in the air nearby, and, best of all…

"It...it smells wonderful!" Kirby gasped happily, beaming with a big grin. "Do you guys smell that?" He asked eagerly, pointing at the coliseum as the tasty scent of delicious classic stadium foot wafted through their nostrils.

"I smell only blood and pain." Pikachu murmured quietly. "And the tears and sweat of the fallen."

"No cotton candy?"

"…maybe a hint."

"Stay focused." Tifyal insisted as she and Tufyal made their way towards an entrance booth, holding up a small red ticket. "We bought our entrance ticket for our team ahead of time like we always do."

"Yes, smart people always use Ticketmaster Dot Com." The fat Cappy within the booth remarked, nodding vigorously as he took their ticket and made a punch in it, typing away at the laptop he had on the desk nearby. "And so do you!" He added, seeing Kirby. "Ya know, you remind me of someone." The former chef remarked. "Usta be my best customer. Then he left Dreamland and…things went all downhill. Ah well, that's life!"

"You're…not mad about him running off from Dreamland?" Kirby asked. Wow, people really DIDN'T recognize him at all.

"I don't do "mad", Mr…uh?"

"Jack."

"I don't do mad, Jack. I'm a Buddhist. Anger goes right through me, like so many cans of Mountain Dew!" Former Chef Kawasaki insisted with a grin as he put one hand on his chest. "In any case, come on in. There's an opening match finishing up, as a matter of fact, between Team Meta and Team Poppy."

"Team Meta's the home favorite." Tufyal explained as they passed through the turnstiles of the entrance booth, heading for the cheering stadium within and seeing masked, armored warriors doing battle on, in a cute twist, a stage that looked like a stony temple made for old rituals in the "Before Times". Their opponents could only be described as unusually-cheerful, elfish-cap-wearing beings with broad smiles, beady eyes, and an OBSCENE amount of bombs.

BRUDDA-BOOOOOM!

"I HATE the Poppy Brothers." Kirby groaned, slapping his face.

"OHHH, and there goes Meta Club's cover, now he's going for a frontal assault!" A familiar, Southern-voiced announcer yelled out, Kirby blinking in surprise at an enormous, floating booth high above the battlefield, where Meta Knight and Dedede themselves were watching the action, Dedede giving color commentary. "DANG, didn't know one could stick a club that far up his rear! I ain't seen a whuppin' like this since my dad took his belt off to wail on me fer stealin' his 'baccy! Filthy habit folks, belieeeeeve you me!"

"Oh…my…GOD." Jigglypuff groaned. "I forgot about his accent. I always HATE that accent. All Southern people should be rounded up and shipped to Europe or something so they can gain an accent that's classy." She told them all, rolling her eyes.

"What's next? Talking about how "Ol' Orny Jumped the Hogswaller"?" Pikachu mumbled.

"But you've got a Southern Japanese accent!" Sude told him, gaping slightly.

"True, but tell me…" Pikachu asked, raising an imaginary eyebrow. "Would any Japanese person would ever say that phrase except in quoting someone else?"

"…no…no." Sude sighed.

"You know, he didn't **used** to have that horrible accent." Kirby sheepishly admitted. "He just used it whenever he spoke to me cuz it drove me nuts. Now he uses it all the TIME, I think he actually forgot how he normally sounds!"

Tiffany began to giggle. "What's so funny?" Tufyal asked.

"R-remember when…when Bugzy?"

Tufyal then broke out into laughter as the others, save for Joe, who just smiled, looked at each other. "What's so funny?" Kirby finally asked.

"One time Bugzy actually asked Meta Knight to cover Dedede's mouth with duct tape for a month. And he actually did it! Every day we watched him put a new ream of duct tape around Dedede's beak!" Tiffany managed to get out, wiping a tear away from her eye. "Funniest thing I ever saw!"

"Poor Bugzy though." Knuckle Joe admitted sadly as he took off his headband and held it to his chest, solemnly shaking his head back and forth as Tufyal took out a kazoo and began to play "Taps" on it. "He beat Team Meta, but he couldn't beat the Subway train."

"Oh, the poor guy." Kirby groaned, shivering in disgust as the match with the Poppy Brothers began to continue.

"Le BOOM!" Poppy Senior laughed dramatically, twisting a fake moustache as he pushed down on a dynamite detonator over and over. "Le Boom, Le Boom, Le Boom!" He sadistically cackled, Team Meta diving away again and again. Luckily, only Poppy Senior was left of the trio of fighters, but he was the most annoying of them all!

But what nobody noticed was Waddle Doo, sneaking up behind Poppy Senior and putting a small bit of dynamite wired to Poppy's own detonator right behind him. Poppy Senior raised the detonator trigger up high…

"Le-OUCH." Dedede commented with a chuckle as the medical team wheeled the Poppy Brothers away, Team Meta sweeping the red and yellowish/tanned Waddle Doo onto their shoudlers, carrying him away in victory. "And we gots ourselves one HECK of a victory fer Team Meta!"

"They have always served me well, and have yet to outlive their usefulness. I should bake them a cake." Meta Knight said in a faintly introspective tone. "Vanilla or chocolate?...vanilla. I like vanilla."

"Hey! Hey, you!"

A gruff voice called out and Kirby and his friends turned to see the all-too-familiar face of Waddle Doonesbury wheeling his way over to them. Apparently it was true: EVERYONE had a second job. "C'mon, you're next up! Get over here!" He insisted, wheeling his wheelchair over to a set of stairs that led to the stage, a team of heavily-armed cappys readying themselves on the other end.

"Now the rules for this here match are gonna be changed up 'long with the stage!" Dedede announced from the floating booth as it hovered before the madly cheering crowd, ribbons and confetti and streamers being tossed into the air as the stage began to shimmer like a mirage, transforming into the unmistakable scene that was…

…a house. A HOUSE?

"I wanna see walls breaking! Tables cracking in half! Chandeliers go flying!"

"…right…uh…" Tiffany turned to the others. "We've never been in THIS stage before." She admitted to Kirby and his friends as they entered the stage, the armed cappys twirling flailing maces, daggers and clubs, one of them actually using a chain.

"It's new." Waddle Doonesbury explained. "Ain't magic great?"

"Now the rules here are simple! Y'all team ain't beaten 'til the last dang member's gone down! Fight to the finish, y'all!" Dedede explained into his microphone, waving a cowboy hat in the air as he let out a cheer.

"Oh no, I think he's goin' to sing." Sude gasped.

"You can TELL?"

"Yes, it's like our species' "gay-dar", it's a-"

"_**Yodel-ay-deeeeeee!"**_ Dedede began singing loudly and proudly as Meta Knight groaned and smacked his hands over his "ears", everyone in the coliseum visibly groaning loudly, even the cappys in the ring as our brave protagonists ascended into what could only be described as the set to "Leave it to Beaver".

"It's such a nice house." Tufyal said sadly as Donkey Kong lifted up a couch.

CRUCHA-CRASH! One of the cappys was sent flying out of the ring, his body now embedded deeply in the wall opposite as DK cringed.

"It WAS a nice house." Pikachu mumbled, dodging a flurry of angry chain whips from one particularly psychotic blob with arms and eyes-sorry, "cappy", "blob" is a racial epithet, a very ugly one.

"Hold still so I can turn ya into part o' the carpeting!" The cappy yelled angrily as Tiffany and Tufyal grappled with two club-wielding cappys, Yoshi running up the walls, across the roof, then back down the walls and across the floor to avoid one cappy that was intent on introducing him to "Mace Windu". Guess what he used as a weapon? Well go on! You'll never guess! Not in a million years!

"C'mere, fatty…" One female cappy growled at Jigglypuff, twirling a knife.

"Now see here, good lady, I've got a very sensitive stomach." Jigglypuff nervously chuckled, quickly maneuvering behind a dining room table, noticing the chandelier above it.

"Okay, then I'll just stab you in the shoulder." The woman remarked.

"First thing's first. You see, my mother always taught me to PUT OUT THE LIGHTS!" Jigglypuff cackled, yanking down on the chandelier as it crashed into the woman, Jigglypuff jumping off as the crowd, looking at the scene from holo-vid screens that showed the interior via tiny cameras, did something that they hadn't done in a long time.

They actually laughed. A rippling chuckle filled the coliseum, and Kirby whirled in surprise at the sight of…

A dash of blue poking in through the dark clouds…some sunlight filtering in through the window. How very strange.

"STAND STILL!" One very muscular cappy with a thick vein on his forehead snarled at Sude, swinging a thick mace on the chair he'd been hiding behind. It went sailing through the air, crashing into the wall and collapsing the thing before the audience's eyes as Sude cheerily waved ay everyone, causing another ripple of laughter…

Kirby's eyes widened. The sun. He could now actually see the sun in the sky!

"Can't we settle this over some nice music? C'mon, how can you not get cheery hearing this?" Sude asked, holding up an old-fashioned record from the house's collection, putting it onto a nearby player as the veiny cappy blinked stupidly, Sude putting the needle down as cheery music began to play.

"Oh, I LOVE this song!" Dedede laughed, clapping his gloved hands together as Sude quickly postioned himself behind the enormous cappy, dipping him down like he was tango dancing with him.

"Let's dance!" He laughed, spinning him away and into a bookshelf as he began to sing, putting on a hat from a nearby stand and spinning a cane from near said hat-stand like he was on Broadway. _**"Myyyyyyy buddy you can see…you're grumpy as can be! But when I'm done we'll have some fun, and a joker you will be! C! D-E-F-G! H! I!"**_

"I know where THIS is going!" Kirby remarked as he ducked underneath a swinging arm of another cappy using a club, jumping through the air and landing on one hand, posing and grinning at the crowd as they began to laugh._** "I love to raise some cain! Believe me, it's no shame!"**_ He sang out, bouncing over to the kitchen area and pulling some dishes out from the cupboards._** "It feels so great to smash a plate and look there is no pain!"**_

THWIP!

CRASH! It whacked one of the cappy's right in the head and tweety birds floated around her head as she mumbled out a "Yes, mummy, time for beddy bye" before finally passing out on the floor, everyone on Kirby's team promptly smashing furniture over their respective opponent's heads as Kirby kept repeating the same line again and again…

_**"No pain!"**_

CRASH!

_**"No pain!"**_

THWAM!

_**"No pain!"**_

KROOOM!

_**"No pain!"**_

BRAAANG!

_**"And good evenin' frieeeeeends!"**_ He finally finished, Sude taking the record player off as the crowd began to laugh hysterically. All of the cappy team was now passed out in the wrecked home, the remains of broken chairs, plates, "Dizzy Gillespie" porcelain statues and other knickknacks all around as Kirby took a bow…

The sun shining brightly over a Dreamland that seemed just a little bit happier…

Just a little bit better…


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note:**

**Some further explanation for why my chapter's late is needed. The answer is simple: I've been without power for a week, stealing internet where I can just to try and check my mail, and only being able to charge my PC through my car. A giant New England nor'easter tore through my home. Trees fell left and right. The roads were blocked. Power lines went kaput. My own friend Matt's house had one such huge tree land squarely atop it, billowing out the entire house. It's bad, people. Really bad.**

**With LUCK...I'll have power by tonight. But one can only hope...one can only hope. **

**And please, accept my apologies for this chapter being so late. I'm reaaaally very sorry. :(  
**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE**

"Out of all the things that could have possibly made my life worse…I had a big list." Ratchet the Lombax informed Clank back at their home on Veldin. It was an enormous garage on the Kyzil Pleateau, a plasma fusion core generator acting as their power source as Ratchet buried himself in his work by burying his head deep inside the hood of a V9 Skyburner. The enormous clanking and groaning sounds from within the hood were loud, to be sure. So loud that it was a surprise to Clank that the purple paint off their messy, tool-covered walls wasn't peeling off from soundwaves alone…

But the whining groans of Ratchet were louder still.

"My Omniwrench getting blown in pieces."

"Quite probably."

"The moon falling on our garage."

"Not as much…"

"You trying to kill me."

"Perfectly understand-_what_?"

"**Monkeys**** becoming ****infected ****with ****a ****sentient ****rage**** virus**!"

"…you have created quite an interesting list, Ratchet, I have to admit." The little robotic partner to Ratchet remarked as he flicked a switch on the side of the fast-moving hovercraft, activating the magnetic stabilizers. Every time they didn't activate them, their craft went flying up and through the roof. There were eighteen million patch marks to indicate it, and he wasn't going to have the record be brought to eighteen million and ONE.

"Yeah, but TACHYON marrying Angela was never, ever, EVER on the list! I never even THOUGHT about even PUTTING it on the list!" Ratchet added with an angry grunt, finishing up with a bolt inside the engine as he removed himself from the hood, slamming it down. "The only way things could possibly get worse is if Angela turned out to be my long lost sister or something!" He laughed sadly…

Suddenly turning pale and gulping. "You don't think-"

"Believe me, Ratchet, there's NO family resemblance." Clank offered, patting his friend on the back as Ratchet sighed a sigh of relief, suddenly gasping at the appearance of an all-too-familiar Cragmite Emperor who was standing in the garage doorway, one invisible eyebrow raised, arms folded across his chest, a visible smirk on his features.

"Listen, PERCIVAL." Ratchet growled, getting on his tippy-toes and poking Tachyon squarely in the chest. "You might have others fooled, but not me. I'm ON to you, ya got that?" He hissed as Tachyon began to unmistakably giggle.

"I don't know hee-hee what you're-PFFFT…talking about!" The Cragmite chuckled, holding his clawed hands over his mouth. "I'm a sweet, CARING-ga-ha-ha-ha…person who only wants to do good, HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

"What's so FUNNY?" Ratchet snapped, poking Tachyon squarely in the muzzle.

"I can't believe you fainted a SECOND time. I thought I…hee-hee-hee…was going to have to…I can't believe you fainted when you were told that buffon gave you mouth to mouth! I almost thought I'd have to make you the only other man I ever placed my lips on." The Cragmite Emperor mused with a big grin.

Ratchet gave him a disgusted look, reeling back. "Only other what?"

"Max Apogee, as a matter of fact. He was drunk, I was drunk…" Tachyon went on, waving a hand in the air as he gesticulated. "He passed out…it gets fuzzy. All I remember for sure was wiping lipstick off my mouth and Max washing off his-"

"_Well __this __has __been__ quite __a __pleasure __but __we __need __to __go_!" Clank said quickly, pushing Tachyon out of the garage as he closed the door with a mighty yank on a cord above, the garage door slamming shut with a THRUNKA-THUD as Tachyon's hat visibly bounced up into the air from the shock. He "harrumphed" as he turned away, noticing an all-too-familiar ship parked to the side of the garage, a small smile spreading across his features as he advanced towards it, claws caressing it in a fashion that was almost tender.

"Hello, Aphelion. It's been quite a while, hasn't it?" He murmured quietly.

"Don't you TOUCH me, you murderer." Her voice snarled out from the command controls, the ship shaking back and forth as it backed away from him. "If you come any closer I'm activating my self-defense mechanisms and you'll be shish-kebabed crab legs!"

"Don't call me a CRAB!" He snarled angrily, clenching his fists tightly as he drew himself to full height. "I pulled myself out of the muck and grime, yanked myself from the grip of obscurity and hopelessness-"

"Because you had help. You've always had help." She told him coldly. "You never would have lived to find out about the Cragmites if the Lombaxes had not shown kindness towards you…had I…let you go out there to HER all those years ago."

"…"

"I never should have taken pity on you." Aphelion murmured. "What do you have planned? If you're out to hurt Ratchet and Clank…if you've harmed Angela-"

"I have far, far grander plans than simple, petty, murder-related revenge." Tachyon chuckled darkly before giving Aphelion a swift kick in the front. "And how DARE you suggest I've harmed Angela! She shall birth a beautiful brood of fertilized eggs. My children will be the future, Aphelion…"

He scuttled off, heading back for his ship as he steepled his claws, smirking to himself. "And the future will be so bright, they will have to wear **shades**."

…

…

…

… "Can you feel THIS?" Mewtwo asked Ness as Gigyas sat nearby, watching as Ness telekinetically hovered a series of spoons in the air around the kitchen, Nick hard at work scrubbing away at stains on the floor as Peach kneeled by him to help out. "I'm putting my paw on it now…can you feel this? Which spoon am I touching?" The psychic Pokemon asked Ness as Ness's eyes remained closed and focused.

"On…on the one on the far right." Ness murmured out, leaning back in the chair slightly as Gigyas gasped in amazement, Mewtwo nodding in approval. "I got it right?"

"Yes. I am simply quite amazed. This is Omega-Level psychic talent I am witnessing here, Mr. Elliot. I am truly impressed with you."

"I'm surprised you're taking the time to educate me." Ness admitted as he opened his eyes, hovering the spoons back into a drawer that Gigyas opened up.

"If I didn't see what you could do, would I waste my time with you?" Mewtwo chuckled as he put his paws together.

"Folks, I say ya got trouble. Ya got trouble right here in River City with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for-"

"DON'T!" Peach said quickly, putting a hand over Nick's mouth, shutting him up as he nervously gulped, nodding his head.

"Sorry. Forgot." He said apologetically as Peach removed her long-gloved hand and Nick stood up, picking up the bucket and bringing it over to the sink to get rid of the half soapy, half dirty contents within. "I've gotta be much more careful about what I sing, EVERYTHING seems to have some kind of reaction, and I need to test them all away from people."

"Why don't you simply ask Master Hand to create a training grounds for you outside?" Gigyas inquired as he scribbled down Ness's latest psychic developments on a notepad that he hovered over to his slender paw.

"Because he said he'd only give it to me in exchange for a thousand bucks. Which means I am, henceforth, your home's new cook, janitor and ceiling fan repairman. I am NOT looking forward to the last one." He added with a sigh, shaking his head back and forth as he looked out into the living room at the enormous ceiling fan above. "I mean, you've been awfully nice to help me, Ms. Peach, but I can't keep asking you to do this for me. I need to prove I'm good enough to do this stuff on my own." He told her.

"No offense taken, good sir." She chuckled.

"You could ask Ms. Erin for some assistance. Or perhaps Zelda?" Ness suggested.

"If I told them to do the windows, Erin would slap my face and call me a chauvinistic pig. You can't ask women to do that stuff anymore. It's not politically correct." Nick insisted, shaking his head vigorously as he folded his arms. "And she and Zelda are leaving today to return to Hyrule with Alex. No, no, I'm not going to ask them for help. Now…if you'll excuse me…" He headed off for the bathroom. "I've got a toilet to scrub free of Captain Falcon's ridiculously copious amounts of chest hair." He shivered on the spot, before taking a big gulp and opening up the door.

"…do YOU wish to tell him those things clogging up the drain are not chest hair, or should I?" Gigyas mused with a dark chuckle as he held his paws over his mouth and began to burst out laughing as Mewtwo rolled his eyes. Such unsophisticated humor. BARBARIANS, the lot of them.

…

…

…

…meanwhile, Kirby and his friends were in "La Resistance's" hidden base, all of them watching the television, amazed at the reaction that they'd gotten from the people of Dreamland. The media had never seen such a display that had so encaptured the hearts and minds of the Dreamland people.

"Whatever we did out there, it worked. I don't know how we did it, but it worked." Tufyal admitted as he rubbed his chin, chuckling a bit. "Now if only we could do it again tomorrow!"

"You know…Kirby…" Jigglypuff began to mumble as, unbeknownst to them all, a sliver of light fell upon the two from a window. "…you were pretty funny out there. And…well, I guess what I'm trying to say is that for a really stupid, goody-two-shoes little tubbenstein…you're alright."

Kirby scratched his head. "What?"

"I think you're actually really funny." Jigglypuff admitted with a small smile.

"And SHE'S not the only one! Obviously the people of Dreamland needed a good laugh." Sude reasoned as he began pouring Kirby a large drink of apple juice. "When was the last time any of them smiled? In fact, when was the last time any of YOU smiled?"

Tiffany blinked stupidly, folding her arms. "I'm smiling!" She said.

"No you're not. You're frowning. Your lips are turned down." Pikachu told her as he nibbled on a piece of lettuce, Tiffany glancing at her reflection in a nearby mirror. She blinked at the sight, trying to turn her lips upward, but after only two seconds the lips drooped right back down like it was a rubber band that kept snapping back on its own.

"Clearly happiness is one resource that Dreamland's been in a drought over for some time." Knuckle Joe admitted as he paced back and forth in front of them all, Yoshi slurping up some juice of his own as Donkey Kong nibbled on a banana. "I suppose I'll have to change my training regimen." He informed them all, clapping his hands together and eagerly rubbing them.

"Oh, no, not back to that smelly-"

The inner dojo of Knuckle Joe was a plain, simple place with a common, ordinary mat, rather ugly wallpaper, and several candles on the walls. In fact, the only interesting things inside said room were the banners on the walls, and Knuckle Joe himself, who had a round, red clown's nose on his own nose, squeaking it slightly as everyone gaped at the sight before them. Knuckle Joe had put on a tie-dyed outfit, complete with enormous shoes, frizzy red hair and clownish makeup and large gloves. Were it not for the utter serious look on his face, all of them would have thought he was out of his mind.

"In trying to train you to become warriors…I've not exactly succeeded." He admitted, beginning to pull out a multicolored ribbon from his shirt…and pulling…and pulling…and pulling…

"No, I…suppose not?" Kirby mumbled a bit.

"But! The fault's mine. I can't train you the way I did the Resistance. No, no, we need something else. We need a new set of tricks." Knuckle Joe went on, continuing to pull the ribbon out of his jacket. "We need to use techniques that will bring joy to Dreamland. Joy that has been denied for so, so long."

"Luckily, that's where I'M coming in!" Sude announced as he clapped his hands, entering the room as white energy swirled around his body like leaves circling in a tornado fashion around one's legs on a windy fall day. The energy finally came to a halt as it shot off from his body and landed squarely in the center of the room, an enormous treasure chest of pearly white glittering in the center, Knuckle Joe finally pulling the last of the ribbon out as he placed a key at the end of said ribbon into the chest.

With the bursting of a hundred kazoos, the contents opened up: over-sized objects, party streamers and balloons, makeup, cream pies, helium, everything a good comedian…or rather, a good PROP comedian…needed to make their audience laughing hysterically and eager to tip their waiter on the way out. Sude held up an enormous watermelon, grinning broadly as he pointed at it with a silver claw. "By day's end…you will be wearing this on your feet."

"…WHY?" Pikachu asked.

**"****Because****…****it****…****is****…****awesome.****" **

…

…

…

… "We have a slight PROBLEM."

The Master was angry. Very much so. Ridley was gone, Mother Brain, Ganondorf and Andross had come down with a bad case of the dead. Jigglypuff was beginning to "turn native" and now Dr. Robotnik was currently in the middle of a big project, refusing to tell anyone about what he was up to, only that it had to do with Hyrule. The Goddesses hadn't wanted anything to do with Nightmare or Dedede's boss, which had ticked him off enough. Now to be told that Kirby was beginning to break through the dark glamour that had descended over Dreamland? That he was actually "screwing everything up"?

"As I said before…perhaps my last request was a bit too mired in subtlety. I want control over the multiverse. And I want Kirby and his friends dead." The Master said, his tone beginning to rise, getting louder and more high-pitched.

"Yessum, sir. I'll hire some men, sir." Dedede mumbled on the other end of the vid-conference line, his Boss shrouded in darkness, hovering in the air and shaking like a lead with furious rage as Nightmare hovered behind Dedede, looking on in amusement.

"When I say "dead"…I mean SERIOUSLY **DEAD**!" The Master screeched out, slamming into the holo-vid screen again and again as Dedede flinched.

"He's going to break another screen. Again."

"He certainly cannot ask Dark Link to install it. The man can barely play piano, let alone install a complex entertainment and communication system." Nightmare cackled. "But in any case, I have plans. BIG plans. The RIGHT kind of plans."

The Master stopped slamming into the holo-vid screen and spout off garbled threats and curses, hovering in the air in surprise. Had he a mouth, he would have gaped. "…well? What sort of plans?"

"Unlike the others who stupidly set up death traps or who relied on grunts or who came up with complex schemes, I'm simply going to capture them in the middle of their next fight, take them here, and then torture them to death!" Nightmare laughed coldly. "No more hiding in the shadows. I'm going to make a PUBLIC APPEARANCE."

"Meta Knight's gonna be reeeaaal sore." Dedede warned. "He's all about "playin' fair" when it comes to the tournament."

"It is I that allow him the power to rule. I can take it away if I so wish." Nightmare scolded Dedede, stinging him on the back with a momentary, quick burst of electricity, the penguin yelping as his long red coat was singed. He let out a screech as it burst into flame and he rushed for the bathroom, Nightmare's laughter, quick and harsh like bursts of lightning, echoing through the halls of his immense and dark palace…

Unaware of the eyes that were scanning below, filled with furious intent. Meta Knight stared, and he thought…and thought…and thought.

Meanwhile, Kirby and the others were quite busy at the moment. Physical comedy could be very, very hard.

"I can't HEAAAAR you?" Knuckle Joe insisted as he stood atop of Kirby, the little pink Star Warrior doing push-ups.

"RECTUM? DAMN…NEAR…KILLED 'EM!" Kirby panted out, finally collapsing to the ground as Yoshi's plucked away on his tongue, trying out different songs as Tiffany nodded in approval, Sude holding up a 10 on a large notecard as Yoshi finished off a find round of "Dueling Banjoes".

"That tongue's your ticket to winning." She insisted.

"Indeed, I'm most impressed! How does one say it? Put her there." Pikachu asked, holding out a paw as Yoshi took it with, of course, his considerably long tongue.

BRRRZZZZAAAAAP!

"YEEEOOOOW!" Yoshi screeched out, flying up into the air and slamming clear through the ceiling, right up into the men's bathroom as Tufyal let out an angry "HEYYY" from upstairs. Pikachu smiled a little, dusting his paws off as his red cheeks sparkled with electrical power.

"Ahhh, for the gift of **laughter**." He chuckled.

It was then that there came a knocking on the door to the dojo as Knuckle Joe hopped of off Kirby, looking surprised. He wasn't expecting anyone. Who could be calling at this hour?

"…oh. Can I help you?" Knuckle Joe asked the Waddle Doo that was saluting before him, wearing the usual attire of the resistance as he tried to stand on his feet. The Waddle Doo handed Knuckle Joe a note from a belt pouch around it's considerably round waist as Knuckle Joe read it over. "Sucker punch?"

THWOCK!

Knuckle Joe was knocked unconscious as the Waddle Doo promptly dragged him off and stuffed him into a nearby broom closet, dusting himself off as he closed the door, then knocked on it again, Sude turning his head to look at it as the Waddle Doo readied the note again. "Who could that be?" He asked out loud, going to the door, a Waddle Doo with a note in it's stubby hand waiting for him. "What is it?"

He looked down the note. "Sucker Punch?"

THRUCKA-THWOMP!

"Why, hey there lil' guy, how can I help you?...huh? Sucker Punch?"

THRA-THWACK!

You might be thinking that there was absolutely no way every single one of our protagonists could fall for such a stupid trick.

You would think that.

Course you'd be wrong, but still…you would think.

…

…

…

…meanwhile, in the fair land of Hyrule, not all was well. At all. For in the middle of what had been a bright and sunny week came a terrible, horrifying black fog that rolled through all the land, covering all in darkness, obscuring the sun, making every single batch of light a precious resources…and this was far, far worse than one would think.

"I can barely see my own hand in front of my face!" Erin admitted as she and Zelda looked through the library of the great scholar Kaondor Phomtan Gobbong as he hovered in the air, his red eye aglow as he regretted the ability to properly fold his arms across his chest. "Thanks for helping us with this, though."

"…you're welcome." The scholarly phantomesque historian mumbled. "…this is humiliating, being used as a "night light"."

"Could be worse." Erin told him. "And move a little to the left!"

"Humiliating AND confusing. How in Hyrule could this have happened?"

"There's no "flashlights" or things like that which are back at the mansion here in my homeland. My people are skilled in ingenuity, but we've got quite a long way to go when it comes to technology…and we've such limited lighting resources." Zelda sighed sadly as she thought of how her people were suffering. "It was an effort just to find our way here to your home, sir. Think of all the doctors who need to get to the houses of patients, or people who are having trouble just finding their way around their homes…"

"I am getting a cramp hovering like this." Kaondor grumbled out.

CRUCHA-KROOOOOOM! There was an enormous crashing sound as all of them whipped their heads in the direction of the window, Kaondor letting out a loud groan as he raced towards it, opening it up to find, sure enough, a carriage had crashed into his house's wall.

"What the DEVIL are you doing?" He yelled angrily.

"Oops. Sorry. We were trying to get to the windmill, sir." One man in a small cap nervously said, his associates holding up buckets of water as the smell of smoke filled the air, Zelda sticking out her head to see…as best she could…a fire had started at the windmill to their far right. The GOOD news was that now that it was burning brightly, it was much easier to see. Though, unfortunately, it was too late for Kaondor's front wall.

"Nobody has seen the sun in two days." Kaondor murmured quietly as the men ran off from the carriage and raced towards the windmill, the searing scent of burning wood and hay filling the already darkened air as he closed the window, Erin looking through another book as Zelda thoughtfully looked out at the darkness beyond. "The Goddesses have been absent. Though if there IS a reason for this, it feels like a cruel joke."

"…yes…a cruel joke." Zelda trailed off.

Soon she and Erin were making their way through the streets of Castle Town, a man flanked by torches standing before the fountain in the main square, waving his fists in the air as Alex looked on.

"Darkness, my brethren! Nothing but night, night without end! No sun, no light, nothing! The world is evil, wicked, sinful! Let us pray, my brethren! This is the end! The end of the wooooorld!" The silver-haired man exclaimed, waving his hands in the air. He looked eerily familiar, and yet, not so. His beard was considerably pointed like his ears, and his attire was a thick, dark robe, though not as dark as his eyes, which appeared to be a dark, brownish/black.

"Teach us, Brother Karl! Teach us…" The crowd sang out.

"What a crock." Alex thought out loud to himself, rolling his eyes.

"But then…why is it always dark? Why is there no light?" A child nervously asked Alex, who was in his human form, though in plain, ordinary-looking clothes like Erin was.

"I don't know." He admitted quietly. "…I just don't know." He went on, walking off to walk alongside Erin and Zelda. "It's good to see you both."

"…see. Heh. We can barely "See" much of anything." Zelda added softly.

"Seeing's a matter of opinion." Alex pointed out "Nick and I see things as for what they are. Darkness means little to us…" he said, staring at the pair. Indeed, his own eyesight destroyed most of the obscuring dark.

"Psst! PSSSST!"

Zelda and the others then stiffened at the sight of a familiar figure that was somehow eerily visible, as if her very presence defied the laws of sight. There in the darkness was Farore, who was cloaked in a dark green hooded cloak, a pained, nervous expression on her face as she urged them to follow her into a nearby building, the three of them following inside.

"I'm glad I found you. I need to speak with you all. It's about the one you call Dr. Robotnik. He..." Farore gulped. "...he kidnapped my sisters...he cast this black fog over the land."

"Where IS he? For God-well, for YOUR sakes, tell us!" Zelda insisted.

"I can't tell you."

"Can't...or won't?" Erin said, raising an eyebrow up.

"I don't KNOW where he is. I was blindfolded and gagged the whole time until he released me to find you all." Farore said as she kicked at the ground. "And he wants your Triforce, Zelda. Yours and Link's. If he doesn't get it then..." She trailed off.

"He's gonna kill everyone?" Alex finished, steepling his hands, frowning slightly.

"He said that his weapon was ORIGINALLY defensive. Supposed to be used for covering up his base from sight. But he can convert it into an offensive weapon by switching this black fog with…" Farore nervously gulped. "D-Deadly gas."

"GAS?" Erin almost shrieked, covering her mouth with her hands to muffle her horror. "If people find out, it'll be a panic!"

"We've already GOT a panic on our hands…" Zelda mumbled.

"This is all our fault. He used...he..." Farore covered her face with her hands and began to shake and shiver. "None of this would have happened if we'd just been honest from the start and told people how Hyrule was REALLY made..."

"I KNOW it was your brothers that made Hyrule. Why did you kill them?" Zelda demanded with an angry glare, trying not to sound TOO furious because Farore was clearly on the verge of an emotional collapse.

"We wanted people looking up to us!" Farore managed to get out. "We wanted all that came with the title and wanted to do none of the work, but then once we got INTO the work we realized how much we loved it but..." She chewed her lip and sat down on the floor, her voice a quiet whisper. "It's too late to make amends to our brothers now...too late to say "we're sorry"...their bones are now our prison…"

Alex stepped forward. "It is **never** too late to say 'I'm sorry'. And maybe somehow you can make amends to your actions."

"How can I? Nobody can follow me. If he sees anyone has followed me and Zelda, he'll unleash his deadly gas." Farore wondered out loud. "How are we going-"

She noticed Alex was smiling broadly. "What're you smirking at, mortal? This is SERIOUS!"

"Did you say "If he SEES anyone"?" Erin asked with a light chuckle. "Well…I've got some good news about Alex. He's the only one here who could follow you unseen…unknown."

Alex bowed "It's one of the few perks of being a metahuman freak, aside from permanently good breath."

Farore stood up, a thoughtful expression coming over her features as real hope began to find its way into her eyes. "It COULD work." She murmured. "...it could really work. I'm supposed to meet with the "good doctor" at Death Mountain's slopes in six hours. Are you SURE you can follow me without him catching sight of you?"

Alex chuckled "I may have lost a load of my powers to get here, but people can only see me if they want to, thank god for mutation."

"Then it's settled." Zelda spoke firmly, clasping her hands together and nodding at them all. "We leave in six hours…and may the Heavens help us all if this goes wrong."

…

…

…

…one by one our unconscious heroes awoke to a facility of cold and bitter steel surrounding their every side. A single flickering light fixture above cast their shadows across a stainless floor, with some kind of device hooked up to each and every one our heroes's bodies.

Meta Knight swept into the room where Kirby was, a sad, solemn expression on his face as he looked the struggling pink puffball over. The device was eerily similar to that of an electric chair. Cold straps were digging slightly into Kirby's stubby arms and legs, a metallic helmet over his head, a gag ready to be placed in his mouth. But not yet, not yet. Meta Knight folded his arms over his chest as he looked Kirby up and down before finally speaking.

"Do you know why I abducted you?" He asked.

"No. I know you're working alongside…HIM." Kirby trailed off, shivering at how icy it seemed to be inside. What temperature was the thermostat at? "Meat Locker"?

"Nightmare believes I am torturing you." Meta Knight said, holding up his sword from it's sheathe, a blade half fiery red, the other burning blue, the shimmering sword Galaxia, sharper than a thousand knives, which cut more deeply than the coldest "Dear John" letter. "Now…he's at the end of the hall. Hold on a moment…"

He carefully removed his mask, Kirby frowning slightly at the sight. Meta Knight looked far, FAR too much like himself. The same cute round face…same blush to his cheeks, only his eyes were white instead of black…and where there was kindness and joviality to Kirby, there was nothing but stony solemnity to Meta Knight, who ran Galaxia over Kirby's arm, Kirby wincing as the blood began to flow.

"Now…start screaming." Meta Knight demanded. "He's coming into the hall."

"What?"

"SCREAM, you fool. And make it GOOD!" Meta Knight hissed, blowing the blood through the air with his considerably-powerful breath, Kirby deciding to just do what Meta Knight was asking and wailing like a baby.

"Heh-heh-heh." Nightmare chuckled to itself as it twitched spastically in the hallway, hearing Kirby's cries. "Ahh, I love physical comedy the best."

"NO-NO-NO-NO-NOOOO! AAAAUUUHHH!" Kirby yelled out as Meta Knight began slashing at the walls, blood splattered over the window so nobody could really see inside. "Not my eyes!"

"YES! YES, YOUR EYES! They will have to come OUT!"

"NO!"

"Along with your HEAD!"

"But I like my head!"

"It…it's just so beautiful." Nightmare whispered happily, a tear coming to it's horrifying-looking singular-eyed form as it wiped said tear away and floated out of the hall, the door closing as Meta Knight wiped his forehead, turning back to Kirby.

"Never, EVER tell anyone what I had to do to save you." He told the pink Dreamland Star Warrior with a dark frown. "I shall never live this bad acting down."

"That's all well and good, now can you untie me?" Kirby asked, jabbing his tongue down in the direction of his straps as Meta Knight moved forward with his sword raised.

"Relax, Kirby, I shall have you free of your bonds in a few…wait." He stiffened, focusing in on Kirby, realizing something.

Kirby's tongue.

The TONGUE.

"Where is the dinosaur?" He gasped out. "I thought I'd brought you all here so you could destroy Nightmare for me, take him by surprise after he thought you dead! But the dinosaur, he is not here, and if…" He gulped. "If he is not here, then he is no doubt competing even now, and Nightmare was to go to the fights today in secret…"

"He'll tear Yoshi apart!" Kirby realized, struggling madly against the chair that held him fast. "C'mon, Meta Knight, lemme out, lemme out, lemme out!"


	34. Chapter 34

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR**

"_**You **__**mop **__**twenty-three**__** rooms **__**and **__**whaddya **__**get?**__**"**_ Nick sang out to himself as he pushed a mop through the dining room where Gig and Ness were eating lunch. After this, he had to head outside to get all the leaves off the back lawn: the mansion was surrounded by trees. It was good that everyone was becoming so comfortable here though…comfortable enough to eat with their mouths open. By GOD, Ness was a pig!

"I don't know HOW you can debate this. Captain America is NOT better than Superman." Ness insisted. "Supes was the first."

"Being picked first does not necessarily mean being the best." Gig argued, shaking his head back and forth as Nick put the mop away in a large brown bucket, panting slightly as he wiped his brow. He shipped to do his trick, this was his duty and he intended to earn the right to stay in the mansion. "Captain America is a skilled fighter! And his lack of cape is far more impressive, as is the shield. Besides, he hasn't got heat vision, the ability to fly or ice breath, he's skilled like an Olympic Athlete with the mind like Patton and the courage of the bravest soldier. He has, as you might say, guts." Gig said, waving a spoon covered in pudding in the air.

"I concede the shield, ol' chum!" Ness admitted as he sighed and shrugged. "But if I had a tommy gun pointed at my face, I wouldn't want "guts". I'd want bullet-impervious skin. I admit, they BOTH punched-out Hitler."

"What of their villainous counterparts? The Red Skull is a Nazi. You do not get much eviler than that."

"True, but Lex Luthor became the PRESIDENT, didn't he?" Ness asked Nick as Nick put the mop into a nearby closet.

"Yeah. So I guess that's pretty darn evil. And he and Lois Lane had a relationship in the animated series." The brown-haired youth added, shivering slightly.

"…you know, I think we should drop the conversation." Gig said, his face becoming disgusted as a vivid mental image popped up in he and Ness's heads.

"I'm going to go watch some television. There's less violence on there than there is in my "Action Comics"." Ness decided as Nick headed out to the back yard with a rake, Link in the middle of building some kind of device of some kind, complete with pulleys, rigs and lots and lots of wood.

"What exactly are you making?" Nick asked, one eyebrow raised as Link yanked on a lever, a large stuffed dummy filled with pillows rising up, Link holding up his sword as it remained sheathed.

"I need to keep practicing. One can't be stagnant, always satisfied with the skills one has. Until the day you die, you must always be a student, always learning." Link insisted as he began striking at the dummy with the scabbard-covered sword. "Once Zelda and Ms. Erin have returned from their journey into my afflicted world, I shall demonstrate my new techniques to Zelda to see how she judges them."

"Why didn't you want to go with them and Alex?" Nick found himself asking as Link stared back at him.

"She said she was perfectly alright with the other two, she did not need further assistance from me." Link said, raising an eyebrow. "You…believe I should go after her?"

"Well…" Nick's hair began to shift as it became white, his vest transforming into a jacket as the sleeves elongated, his jeans becoming white leisure pants as he leaned against the dummy, chuckling as pink eyes glittered. "If it were ME, Romeo…I'd wanna make sure my lil' Juliet didn't get in over her head."

"…Romeo?" Link repeated.

"Oh c'mon, Casanova. Ya know what I'm talking about!" White insisted.

Stupid expression. Dumb blinking.

"…look, Galahad. Wouldn't going after her be the chivalric thing to do? Rescue the damsel in distress?"

"Distress? Zelda? She's not that frail, sir." Link chuckled as he shook his head back and forth, putting his sword back on his back. "She is most skilled, as is your beloved, Ms. Nightshade, am I correct?"

"Yeah, but still…if it were me, I'd always want to be there in case anything went wrong." White muttered, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "You can't protect someone every single hour of the day, but…just thinking about her being alone and me not being there by her side makes me…uncomfortable."

"You are really so concerned for your beloved." Link admitted as he began to blush. "Truthfully…I have felt I should seek Zelda out as well, for I have been having…a hunch. A hunch that she might need outside assistance even now."

"If you really do want to leave for Hyrule, it can be arranged!" Master Hand announced, flying into the backyard as he looked around it. "ECH! It's HIDEOUS."

**Zip-Zip-Zip-Zip!** In an instant all the leaves were now deposited in large piles as White dusted his hands off.

"Better."

"You could really get us there? Right now?"

"Of course. Quite a bit of evil has vanished from the worlds. You've been doing a spectacular job, all of you! Dreamland's moments away from freedom if all goes well, and I can open up a portal to Hyrule right here and now if I so wish." Master Hand chuckled, drawing a circle in the air with a giant finger as a glowing portal began to form before their eyes, Link bowing in gratitude.

"I am in thy debt, Master Hand."

"This will deposit you in Kakariko Village. I'd say "keep your eyes peeled", but since everything's stuck in night without end, I'd recommend you just hold each other's hands and shuffle forward carefully so you don't hit anything by accident." Master Hand admitted as White crackled his knuckles.

"Won't THIS be fun?"

…

…

…

…Alas, poor Yoshi was in a bit of a bind. But NOT from Nightmare. Oh no. Nightmare was watching, sure enough, disguised among the dark clouds above the arena as Dedede watched with interest from his hovering announcer's booth. The crowd was seeing Yoshi taking a beating, but it was not from Nightmare, sinister overlord of Dreamland, but from Yoshi's opponents, who had ganged up on him, three-against one, after Tufyal had been knocked out.

Tufyal had been the lucky one.

"You guys are seriously screwy! And I've played tennis with a pink dinosaur dude who thought he was a girl and wore a bow on his head!" Yoshi yelled out, struggling against the strange device that was attached to his nostrils. Sharp metal clamps were digging into his nose, the rest of his body tied to a pole as the leader of the team who was opposing him and Tufyal in the fight laughed hysterically, riding on a bicycle machine that generated electricity. Shockwaves of electrical power were coursing up Yoshi's nostrils, making him shriek over and over, Dedede nervously gulping. He'd hired these thugs to just plain KILL the meddling kids and that there Kirby, not go all "It puts the lotion on its skin" on them!

The head of the gang got off the bicycle machine and twirled a nunchuck around as he smirked in front of Yoshi, the crowd murmuring amongst each other as his lackeys all joined in his evil laughter. "So…still think you've got a chance against us?"

"I'm…asking you nicely…" Yoshi muttered. "…let me outta this right now…my friends need me…"

"Such a loyal steed. All the good that'll do you. Your other friends are already being taken care of…if you know what I mean." The head lackey chuckled darkly as Yoshi began growling and snarling like a wild beast, spit flying from his mouth. "Ha-ha-ha! You're not as bad as you thought you were, huh?" He chuckled as one lackey flipped on a stereo and evil music began to boom out from the speakers. "Oh, I laugh at you! I laugh at you, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

He and his horrendous gang turned away to laugh maniacally up at the sky, Nightmare joining in as Dedede slapped a hand over his face and groaned. This had been a bad idea.

Luckily though…Yoshi was close to the torture instrument rack. Or at least, close enough for one particular body part to reach. He concentrated, taking a deep breath as he stretched his tongue out towards the rack with it's dozens of sharp weapons, aiming for a hammer. Just a little bit further and he had wrapped his tongue around it. Now…now was the tricky part. He knew that the shutoff button was above his head, in the center of the machine, a great big red thing that had to be SLAMMED down to deactivate the straps that were keeping him tied down.

There was only one chance. He heaved the hammer high and it soared up into the air, spiraling around and around as it whizzed down towards Yoshi in the machine, Yoshi silently praying that it would work. Oh please, oh PLEASE let it work…

It hit home. With a TWHUNK it knocked the button deep into the machine, the straps releasing him as Yoshi sat off the torture device, withdrawing his tongue into his mouth as he advanced towards the leader, who was still laughing.

"Oh, I laugh at you! Ha-ha-ha-ha! Haaa-ha-ha-ha-"

Tap. Tap. Tap.

The guy looked to the right to see a green hand tapping on his shoulder, slowly turning around to see Yoshi glaring at him.

"Oh crap." He mumbled, Yoshi's fist raised high.

THRUCKA! The guy was knocked clear into the lackey carrying the stereo, the channel flipping to a fine rendition of "Little Willy" as Yoshi's high-jump kicks knocked several of the others into each other, finally delivering a swift spinning back kick to the leader as he tried to get back up.

But it was Yoshi's TONGUE that caught the crowd's apt attention. The bulb-ended beauty whipped through the air like a snake, striking at the cappy lackeys, tossing them left and right as Yoshi let out swift "hi-yahs" and "hoo-hahs". It was as if the tongue were his partner in a double tag-team event.

_**Left side, east side, little willy-willy wears the crown, he's the king around town!**_  
_**Glancin', prancin', willy sends 'em silly his star-shoe shimmy shuffle down!**_

"Such power! Truly he has the Heart of the Tongue, hiyaaaaah!" One cappy exclaimed, leaping through the air at Yoshi only for Yoshi to grab him by his stubby arm and sweep him across the fighting field, the guy being tossed over the slowly-regaining-consciousness form of Tufyal, who gaped in surprise.

"How can we beat him?" Another asked the leader, tugging her face down as Yoshi's tongue propelled him into the air and he landed on another lackey, stomping them with his feet. His very-hard-soled feet.

**_Heeeey noooow…staaaaay doooown!_**

"OW! Why is this dinosaur wearing shoes?" The unfortunate underneath his feet exclaimed as Nightmare fumed overhead, Dedede sheepishly holding up a "Resistance isn't Futile" sign with a cute little smiley face drawn on it.

"You got so many questions, ask why our mouths are still moving even after we talk!" One cappy exclaimed, the rising sun slowly hovering above him as he shook his fist angrily.

"Or why I'VE got a female voice actor even though I'm a girl?" Tufyal wisecracked, his kick knocking the critic into the wall outside the ring, the guy letting out a groan as he fell out of the crater he'd made.

_**Little Willy-Willy won't…go home! But ya can't push Willy 'round, Willy won't go!**_

One cappy growled and took a step towards Yoshi, only to have the tongue slither up right in front of his face and essentially pimp-slap his face left and right, the guy passing out on the spot as Yoshi struck a flamboyant martial arts pose, tongue hovering in the air like a cobra poised to strike. The dinosaur blinked in surprise as two of the cappys got up, both of them twirling strangely-decorated scarfs in the air before stretching them between their respective hands, holding them taught like they were nooses.

"Ahhhh. SISSY STYLE." Yoshi chuckled.

The scarfs shot out, wrapping around his arms and sending him flying forward with a cry as the leader rushed forward, HEADBUTTING poor Yoshi squarely in the head, the dinosaur groaning heavily as he staggered back before hitting the ground face first.

"Not so "Chosen" now, are you?" The leader chuckled, his men giggling with him.

That is, until they saw his tongue loll out, slowly pushing him up from the ground and suspending him higher and higher into the air. Their eyes bugged out in surprise as he then began to slowly turn around and around, the tongue twisting on the spot.

**_Little Willy-Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Little Willy-Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Willy Won't! Little Willy-Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Little Willy-Willy Won't, Willy Won't, Willy Won't!_**

It was then that Yoshi suddenly came twirling back DOWN, his rapidly-spinning form whipping up a tornado that launched them all back as he leapt through the air, landing expertly on his feet as his tongue landed in midair by his side, Yoshi looking around the arena at the fallen foes that surrounded him.

_**Little Willy-Willy-Won't…**_

"My work here is done." Yoshi said, nodding firmly, quickly retracting the tongue back into his mouth as Tufyal stepped up to him and patted him on the shoulder, the crowd laughing hysterically at the strange but VERY entertaining way in which he'd defeated the torturing troublemaking terrors.

Nightmare, however, was spastically shaking. He quivered with fury, shaking like a leaf in the middle of a harsh hurricane, dark clouds gathering around him even as the sky he was surrounded by brightened with every laughter and chuckle that the Cappys below let out, Yoshi bowing so low that his saddle slipped over his face and he let out a stupid "Uh-duhhh" as he put a single finger to his nose.

"I! AM! ANGRY!" Nightmare roared out furiously, Dedede gulping as his boss's true form made itself clear in the skies above, the single-eyed beast howling and snarling as he shook around. "G-gonna k-kill you, gonna kee-kee-kee-kee-KEEEEEEEL YOOOOUUUUU!"

Tufyal, however, "got" it and chuckled at the crowd as he raised an eyebrow up, arms folding. "It's like he's trying to speak to us, I'm sure of it." The kid chuckled, Yoshi seeing the friendly mark atop his head momentarily glowing as he turned to look back at Dedede…a mark now on HIS forehead, just barely visible underneath the cap the penguin king wore.

"Hee-hee. That's a guddin'."

"KEEEEEEEL!"

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he wanted to kill me." Yoshi exclaimed loudly to the crowd as people began to laugh and laugh, more and more symbols becoming quickly visible as Meta Knight and the others slipped into the main hallways that led from the chairs to the outdoors, surprised at what they saw, none more so than Meta Knight, who now had a mark of his own faintly gleaming and clearly visible to our heroes.

"Are you…seeing what I am seeing on their foreheads?" Meta Knight found himself asking as the people kept laughing and laughing, Nightmare spluttering madly as lightning crackled around him, sparking off, Yoshi and Tufyal continuing to crack wise, Yoshi even using one lightning bolt on a marshmallow on a stick he'd somehow acquired to toast it JUST right.

"Yes. Yes, I am." Sude murmured in delight. "Ohhh, it's happening, Meta Knight! Look! Dreamland is turning into back into the paradise it was meant to be! Nightmare hasn't got a chance!"

"The People's Champions have won hearts, minds…and funnybones...of all Dreamland!" Tiffany chuckled as she clasped her hands in front of her chest and beamed, seeing the smiles return to her people's faces. Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos, birds, mammals, the strangely smiling flora, all were joining in the laughter as Nightmare got darker and darker in color, shrinking with every chuckling snort.

"Now…" Sude nervously licked his lips. "The hardest part."

"What's that?" Meta Knight inquired.

"Hey! Nightmare!" Yoshi exclaimed as Tufyal tossed something through the air and Dedede handed Yoshi his hammer. "I GOTTA ask you!"

**SPLOOOOORT!**

The crate of blueberries was flattened all over Nightmare as he hovered in front of Yoshi, stupidly blinking as the juice dribbled down over him, Yoshi hoisting the hammer onto his shoulder as Tufyal stood by several crates worth of fruit. A fine choice indeed. A FINE choice.

"What's so black and blue?" Yoshi chuckled.

And with that, a pun so corny, so terrible, so CHEESY in its strength, Nightmare let out a tiny squeak. "When Crazy finds out…ohh…eye am so, so _dead_."

POP.

And then…he was gone. As if he never were.

And in an instant, what had been a gloomy, foul land of nightmares finally saw the light of day, as cascading, gentle rays of warmth swept across a formerly barren land. Waddle Doonesbury gasped as he looked down at his slowly-healing body, the battered and scarred form of he and thousands of others healing steadily with the land whilst a beautiful, pure wind swept the fine scent of blooming flowers into everyone's nostrils, all around him was changing, and changing swiftly.

The clouds were slowly reverting from gray and black to white, a beautiful, pearly shade of white, the sky a deep, lovely blue, the grass never seeming more green as the once-towering skyscrapers and dark-toned buildings of Dreamland suddenly changed as well…now they were dotted with beautiful swathes of colors, like a postmodern piece of splatter art. The whole place looked like a vibrant painting come vividly to life, and Kirby eagerly bounced up and down, cheering with delight at the sight of his Dreamland returned to normal, the Fountain of Dreams standing where the hellish arena had once been, rising high into the air, a pearly/golden sight with crystalline-clear waters.

"I'm surprised the skyscrapers are still there." Sude admitted to Meta Knight, looking him squarely in the eye as Meta bowed his head and nervously shuffled his feet.

"I wanted Dreamland to be better off, more developed, more cultured. I was having those things built by my clan BEFORE Nightmare changed everything. Maybe instead of looking for a quick fix…"

"You should have tried to work alongside Kirby and the Cappys." Sude finished as he put a large hand on Meta Knight's head, patting it as he knelt by the caped being. "This land is very beautiful, Meta Knight. Don't ever forget how beautiful it is right now…and you'll be just fine."

"The voice of one who lost his land." Meta Knight murmured softly as Sude nodded quietly. "…you speak like one who is missing something important from his life. I found a way to fill this need thanks to Kirby and his friends…but what of you?"

"I'm working on that." Sude said as Kirby danced in the Fountain of Dreams, spinning around like a ballerina along with Dedede, Tufyal and Tiffany, the spray of the fountain flickering tiny sparkles of joy through the sunlit sky of Dreamland, Kirby's happy paradise.

…

…

…

…Ratchet of Veldin was a lot of things. But he was also good enough in terms of hearing to be able to tell when someone within range was evilly gloating. As such, he'd taken upon himself to sneak into Tachyon's ship, hitching a ride with an old friend of his. A simple man. A helpful man.

"Do you know the Plumbing Man, the Plumbing Man, the Plumbing Man! Do you know the Plumbing Man will snake two sinks for free?"

"What verse is he on?" Ratchet mumbled out as he hid in the suitcase of the Plumber, a small, disguising layer of tools on the outside to protect him and Clank's cover in case the ship was searched as it landed in the docking bay of Tachyon's flagship.

"I believe the term is "Second Verse, Same as the First, a little bit louder and a little bit worse"?" Clank chuckled a little.

Ratchet was determined to get some dirt on Tachyon, and he knew how he could do it: that machine Tachyon had bragged about at the big gala event, the "Medical" technology Tachyon had said "sought out specific DNA sources" to correct mistakes in their biological makeup. He was 99.9 percent certain it was actually something bomb-related. Stuff like that which was set to be unveiled before large crowds by evil scientists were usually bombs.

There was a point .01 percent chance that Tachyon was being HONEST, but every time Ratchet tried to think of the words "honesty" and "Tachyon" in the same sentence he kept bursting into laughter.

"Eyyy, lookit this, Mitch." One Cragmite remarked as he poked a claw down at a newspaper that showed President Qwark sitting at his desk, looking almost depressed as he leaned slightly to the side. "President Qwark vaguely disappointed by lack of assassination attempts. "All the great ones had someone take a crack at them. An assassination attempt really would have elevated my status in the pantheon or presidents. I mean even Former President Dorf had Squeaky Frumme."

"Yeah, ya wanna get taken seriously as a president, ya gotta have someone try ta throw a bomb ur a shoe atcha." Mitch agreed, clapping his friend Mike on the back before noticing that a spaceship had parked in their docking area. He quickly shouldered his rifle and scuttled down from the ramp, giving the Plumber an intense look. "Who are you?"

"I'm here to fix the plumbing."

_"Pleasedon''tsearchtheshiptoohard…"_ Ratchet whispered in his head as the cragmite looked in the backseat of the ship, then turned to the Plumber.

"Pop yez trunk, alright?"

Phew. The trunk. Nothing in the trunk to give them away. Soon they were all clear and Ratchet and Clank were being carried into the nearby bathroom on the first floor of the flagship, and, frankly, once they were out of the suitcase, Ratchet could see why they needed the bathroom. It was a pigsty that defied description and any attempt to describe it…well, since some of you might be eating whilst reading this, I will refrain.

"Let's geh oudda here thru dah ventz." Ratchet said, putting a clothespin over his nose as he and Clank shimmied up a bathroom wall and quickly unscrewed the vent cover with Ratchet's Omniwrench. The Plumber would screw the cover back on and they'd be safe to sneak around the ship, which they proceeded to do right then and there, Clank's sensors picking up the frequency they were looking for: that of an extremely powerful device located on the second floor.

"You're SURE it's the thing?" Ratchet whispered to Clank as they shimmied up a 90 degree angled vent shaft.

"Absolutely. It does appear to be some kind of strange medical technology, it is operating on the 2hz frequency, but the wave patterns are…irregular." Clank murmured as the little antenna atop his head popped back inside. The two of them finally climbed up to a small window that revealed what they were looking for: Emperor Percival Tachyon and his device. Angela was there as well, Tachyon demonstrating the inner mechanics of the device on a chalkboard nearby.

The machine itself was positively enormous, a dome-like thing with a chair located right in the center, dozens of tiny little node wires to be connected to whomever sat inside the chair, all of which were floating down from the glassy dome. A control console was connected to the dome which Tachyon was standing by, along with aforementioned chalkboard.

"Fractal secant per mass square divided by…or was it MULTIPLED by…" He rubbed his chin. "How did that rhyme go again? Oh, yes, _**hey**__** that **__**fractal**__**'**__**s **__**lookin**__**' **__**fair,**__** cosine, **__**tangent, **__**there**__**'**__**s**__** a **__**square**_…ROOT! Ha! Yes, the square root!" He finished the calculations and stepped away, folding his arms in front of his chest. "That wasn't so hard. Mnemonic devices. I use them all the time. Take this person." He grabbed a nearby guard and pointed at him. "Look at him."

The drophyd guard blinked stupidly, Tachyon rapping on the helmet he wore. "He's slimy, he's ugly, even by drophyd standards."

"My mum dropped me down the drain once by accident, she did."

"The only way anyone would EVER be interested in him would be if he was a fish fillet. Fillet rhymes with Fray, his name is Fray Swiggle."

"Yeah, that's how most people remember me." Fray the guard mumbled.

"I'm kind of…feeling queasy." Angela admitted as she held her head, coughing a little. "I think I'd better go lie down." She murmured, the guard escorting her out of the room as Tachyon waited calmly…then whipped around and pressed a button on the nearby console for his device, lights shimmering around it as he turned and looked right at Ratchet and Clank.

"Why, Ratchet…Clank. How good to see you. Please come in. And let me tell you how I'm about to conquer the universe." Tachyon asked, spreading his arms slightly as he gestured at the machine around him.

Ratchet kicked the vent opening down and he and Clank stepped out, Ratchet twirling his Omniwrench as he glared darkly at the Cragmite Emperor. "We're gonna stop you, whatever you've got planned!"

"I can have my guards here in an instant. You'd be swarmed by a hundred guards in an instant, all with intent to kill. Or, I could simply activate this EMP device right here, and take your friend Clank offline." Tachyon asked, holding a small, circular slab-like thing from his pocket in the air.

"You'd fry YOUR tech too!" Ratchet growled back.

"True. But you don't want your friend harmed…do you?" Tachyon asked quietly. "Especially if there's a chance that, even if you rebooted him, he'd not be returned to his normal, Clank-y self?" He went on, speaking persuasively.

Ratchet grunted angrily and slowly lowered the Omniwrench as Tachyon put the EMP device back, clapping his clawed hands together. "So typical. So noble. And, as promised, I'm going to show you how I intend to conquer this universe. Take a look at this: my Genetic Imprint Device-O-Tron…"

"That's not so impressive."

"3000."

"…better." Ratchet admitted reluctantly as Tachyon ran one hand down the dome.

"It's purpose is, in fact, to seek out specific DNA sources, correcting certain mistakes in their biological makeup. I was being quite honest in that regard. HOWEVER…" Tachyon grinned darkly. "Such mistakes also include…irregular thought patterns. What it shall do is take MY thoughts and burn them into the minds of all beings in this galaxy who's DNA I've encoded into the machine. And since I've had so many events in my name, there's been quite a lot of DNA they've left behind at each one. I've got sources from THOUSANDS of species."

Ratchet's eyes widened. A brainwashing scheme, so THAT was it!

"There shall be exceptions, of course. This slot here…" He pulled one slot down from a wall on the control console, pointing inside. "Is tuned to specific people's DNA. I've Angela in there, and I, naturally, will be excluded as well. Angela's thought patterns shan't be touched, so the question becomes…what to do with **YOU**?"

He rubbed his chin, looking Ratchet over. "Clank shall be unaffected, but you…should I place your DNA in this slot, or have you think as the trillions across the galaxy will soon think: that your race, as I've always known, were hypocritical, foul liars, and that my race was unfairly cast into an alternate dimension!"

"Your people deserved what they got! They were committing genocide across the galaxy!" Ratchet yelled at him, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"_LIAR_!" Tachyon roared. "Your people weren't nearly so noble! They only spared me to stroke their own conscience, not out of any genuine pity!" He chuckled darkly as he rubbed his hands together. "But I'm willing to be merciful, Ratchet. I've got grand plans for you…" He cooed darkly. "Like Angela, you'd make a fine host, oh yes. I could even make it _pleasant_…so, should I force you to think I'm your rightful master…or allow you to keep your mind, forcing you to live in a galaxy that will hate your kind for all eternity?"

It was then that Angela burst into the room, panting and heaving, Tachyon blinking at her in surprise…

"I…I don't feel so good." She muttered out before falling to the ground, her muscles spasming before they became locked in paralysis. "C-Can't…can't f-feel my legs…"

The symptoms. No. It couldn't be, but…

But this reminded him all too much of the mysterious disease Max Apogee had died of.

"Not you too." He murmured, rushing to her side. "Angela. ANGELA." He whispered, turning her on her back and putting her head in his lap. "You're going to be alright. You can't die. You can't. I won't let you, I **WON****'****T**."

…

…

…

…meanwhile, Alex, Erin and Zelda were in Kakariko Village, Link and White listening intently as the Goddess Farore explained the situation, White rubbing his chin thoughtfully, looking over at Alex as he turned invisible, then visible again, on and off, on and off.

"Guess who I am?" Alex chuckled. "Ring goes on…" He turned invisible. "Ring goes off." He turned back to normal. "Ring goes on…" Invisible again! "Ring goes off. Ring goes on-"

"Ha-ha. Very funny, Frodo." White chuckled.

"I do not doubt you can follow unseen. The problem is that…" Link sighed slightly. "I do not know how to REMOVE the Triforce from-"

"We are the Goddesses of Hyrule." Farore said, momentarily speaking with grandeur and might as she rose up to full height, thumping her fist against her chest. "**What we bestow-ed, we can taketh away!**...oh wow, I sounded like Din for a minute there." She murmured, holding a hand over her mouth and giggling slightly. "Just watch."

She rested her hands over Zelda and Link's hands and concentrate as a shimmering golden sheen rose off from both of them, passing into Farore as two triangles began to hover in the air around the green-haired goddess…the pieces of the Triforce. What the Godesses had given to them, one had indeed now taken away.

"We've no guarantee Robotnik will keep his word. In fact, I do not think he will." Zelda admitted.

"Ro-BUTT-Nik almost never does. If anything DOES go wrong, just whistle loud and I'LL come running. Chronokinetic and all that." White chuckled as he jabbed a thumb at his chest. "I wanna see everything blow up in his face."

"Be careful." Link insisted as he took Zelda's hand and squeezed it, the two staring into each other's faces for what seemed to be a long, long time, a thousand words of concern and comfort expressed in two being's faces as they gazed into their beloved's eyes.

"…I'll come back." Zelda insisted. "I promise."

…

…

…

… Farore rapped against the large doors to the former home of her sister Din, now the current hideout of Dr. Eggman, Alex silently and stealthily slinking after her as she looked around the room. The reptilian and rock-based life forms that called the place their home were all being forced to sit down against the walls, Din and Nayru sitting in a circle as-

It couldn't be. But it was. Alex drew in a harsh breath as he took in the sight. The women were tied down by bonds of pure bone, the bone of beings slightly larger than they were. Their wrists, their legs, their arms, all were held down, skulls placed over their head as they groaned in pain, sweat pouring down their brow as tattoos glowed brightly over the bones, burning black flames rising from the torches on the walls.

"You came! Good…a little help would be MOST appreciated!" The fiery dragon Volvagia announced, shackles around his wrists like the rest of his kind. He was in the middle of having his ribcage opened, but evidently the sight of the Triforce caught Dr. Eggman's interest FAR more than a heart that was literally on fire inside of a chest made of silver bones, luckily for the dragon. Eggman cackled as he stroked one side of his mustache, walking away from his workbench as the large table that Volvagia had been on slid into the wall, Volvagia being dumped on the ground as Eggman chuckled.

"So, Farore. You have come with the Triforce. Good. VERY good."

"You KNEW I would." Farore muttered hatefully as Alex scuttled on the wall, eyes peering out at Dr. Eggman. "Now what about my sisters? How did you even find the bones? How'd you even know this spell?"

"Our partnership with E.G.O has been most helpful. A very useful psychic told me the necessary spell I'd need. He's actually here in Hyrule at YOUR old home, my dear, getting something for me." Dr. Eggman chortled.

"W-wait. The Temple of Time! He's THERE?" Farore gasped in surprise, taking a step back in horror.

"Oh yes. You see, this is actually part of my plan." Dr. Eggman went on as he clapped his hands, several clunky-looking robotic servants taking the pieces of the Triforce and bringing them to the "good doctor". "With Ganondorf dead, the final piece has returned to the Temple of Time. I shall take these pieces here and go to the Temple."

"You'll never get away with this, you…you..." Volvagia stuttered.

"What he said!" Darunia growled. "You'll pay for what you've done to my people. Millions are suffering across Hyrule because of your selfishness!"

"Now release my sisters and the hostages. Release Hyrule and we'll go easy on you." Farore insisted, wagging a finger at him.

"Oh, I shall give you your release. The greatest release one can give to another in this world of life…the boon of merciful death." The evil scientist said coldly, steepling his gloved fingers. "And then, wearing a protective gas mask as my friend from E.G.O is right now, I shall leave this place, and I shall walk without fear…"

Dr. Eggman grinned darkly. "Through a World of the Dead."

"You're going to release the gas? Even though the ransom's been paid?" Din yelled angrily, struggling to break free of the bony bonds that held her tight to the ground. "You psychotic, stupid, fat, lunatic!"

"You must be mad, INSANE!" Nayru exclaimed.

"Noooo!" Dr. Eggman growled, twisting his mustache. "Merely strong because I do not make pity make a weakling and a coward of me. And this is only the beginning! When I am finished here…" He remarked, waving his hands at the cave around him. "I shall move on. With this technology and its power amplified by the Triforce, I can exact tribute from other worlds…ALL WORLDS!" He roared out, curling his fingers as he waved his hands madly in the air before his bulbous nose. "The world shall be at my mercy!"

"You're a FIEND! A cold-hearted fat old fiend!" Alex roared out.

"Who said th-"

**KRUTCHA-KRACK!**

The robots that had been holding the triforce pieces shattered and fell to the ground as Alex stood triumphantly before Eggman, flexing his claws in his Experimental Form. "And I feel like making _scrambled__ eggs_." He hissed.

"I EXPECTED you would try something such as this." Dr. Eggman mumbled angrily at him as he snapped his fingers, and a form slowly stepped out of the shadows. "Luckily, I have another partner to assist me. Try to stop me NOW!"

Dark Link held up his sword, slowly lowering it at Alex, his red eyes glittering darkly. "Now, young Skywalker…" He growled, his sword sizzling with burning red energy that slowly sloughed off to the floor below. "…you will die."

He wasn't Link…but he would do. Oh yes. He would do.


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's Note:**

**I feel so ashamed, I've been putting these updates off FAR too long because I'm working steady now at a hospital in the evening shift from 3 to Midnight, essentially. But I'll try to keep a semi-steady update flow all the same. Please have patience with me. ;)  
**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE**

The whole of Hyrule was clouded in darkness. A black, inescapable fog covered the land, blanketing all in its black. Yet despite all of this, despite the inescapable lack of sigh, despite the feeling of pure despair and terror that the inky cloud created, there was light, lights piercing through the darkness, rippling on the edge of Death Mountain, faint slivers that shot through the black for all to see if you just looked at the right place.

And look they did. The Diggers held their eyes up, Link's father clutching his mother tightly to his side as his friends offered up their prayers for their boy, knowing, KNOWING he was somewhere up there. A scholar, a former thief who had lost his hands, who had never found himself a faithful man found himself putting faith in a hope, the hope that the darkness would end. The people of Hyrule's Castle Town expectantly gazed far through the inkiness at the far-off slops of Death Mountain, and they waited…and waited…and waited.

Soon their wait would be rewarded, or their hopeful patience would be utterly dashed. There was to be nothing, absolutely no in between. If the right party atop Death Mountain didn't stop things now…there would be no continuing night without end, there would only be the eternal sleep, for everyone would die. And two members of this "right party" were trying to find their way up to their friends.

"OW!" White groaned, rubbing his sore nose as he and Link slowly rose back up, White growling angrily as he dusted himself off with his tipless-gloved hands, Link feeling around the rock face that they'd run into, finding a slivery little passageway about five feet to their right. "Never, EVER get super speed. You run into so much as a TELEPHONE POLE it feels like Muhammadi Ali decided he didn't like your face and wanted to change it!"

"Telephone?"

"After your time. My apologies." White said as Link led him through the narrow, slightly dusty passageway towards the cavern that was witnessing a clash of giants. A clash so intense that new openings to the cavern were being ripped and torn and slashed open every few seconds.

"How does a dark doppelganger of a chosen hero from faintly Middle-Ages timelines know of contemporary and popular science fiction epics?" Alex inquired calmly, allowing his fighting to do most of the work as he quickly spun in the air, dodging Dark Link's harsh and burning cuts, the evil swordsman's blade dripping with red-hot sizzling flame as the red-haired monstrosity continued his unrelenting assault.

"Oh, I surf the _net_." Dark Link coldly remarked, his smile the work of demons as he spun his sword in one hand, the other on his hip as he chuckled a bit before launching forward, quickly stabbing at Alex, who back-flipped again and again. "And you are familiar to me, personally. I have **many** names, Mr Hardie. This is simply one of my most common forms. A form I…enjoy. Immensely." He added, doing a swift upward slash, Alex dropping quickly to his knees and thrusting a fist forward, striking at the thing's leg.

There was a satisfying cracking noise as Dark Link staggered back, reeling in pain as Dr. Eggman, adjusting his goggles, sneered, sneaking towards an exit as Volvagia freed Nayru and Din from their bonds as best he could, though it took him several hard yanks. The "good doctor's" robotic servants rushed forward to stop him, but they'd forgotten about Darunia, who calmly grabbed them by their heads and slammed them into the wall.

"Your toys break easily." He announced.

"It's this damn economy, I can't afford quality material!" Dr. Eggman protested. "BAH! No matter!" He insisted, wagging his finger in the air. "This is not the end, my boy. I shall return!"

THRACK! A harsh, very powerful punch to the back of his head knocked him flat on his face as White and Link entered the cavern, seeing Zelda tying Dr. Eggman up with some rope she'd snuck along as Erin waved her hand in the air, letting out a long and loud "ooch". "His fat head hurt my hand." She mumbled. "How does he escape Sonic so often when he's this tubby?"

"It's those thin, spindly legs." White said, going to her side and embracing her tightly. "My girl! Nobody like her in all the world!" He bragged. "C'mon. Victory kiss." He insisted.

"DUCK!" Zelda pulled them both down as Dark Link's sword swung over their heads, the red-eyed, black-clothed and dark-skinned being snarling a bit. Clearly he didn't like being ignored.

"You'd best save such wishes for after you've seen me beaten. Which shall not happen." Dark Link growled before Alex quickly yanked his cap down and back, almost doubling-up the evil monster. He then promptly tossed Dark Link clear through the air, a loud KRATCHA-KRANG filling the air as he collided with the wall, exploding once again before reforming into wispy black smoke that solidified into solid form.

It was annoyingly aggravating. No matter how many times Alex had slashed, stabbed or exploded this annoying dark doppelganger, Dark Link continued to come right back to life!

But…

There was a hopeful ray of light piercing through his dark environment though…literally. The machine that was producing the smog was at the Temple of Time, and a single figure looked it over. The device was a sickeningly dark-toned mechanical monstrosity of malevolent machinations oozed out the foul gas that had ensnared all of Hyrule in its clutches had one source that was hovering in the center of a specialized container, an all-too familiar dark-skinned being with a fairly large nose…and eyes wide open, as if wishing to scream.

The man who wanted to be king had never seemed in more agony, and considering that he had been impaled by the Blade of Evil's bane at least twice, and once in the _head_, this was **saying** something. His mouth and nose were covered by a large mask that had some breed of suctioning tube attached to it, which was stripping away whatever was within him again and again, reproducing it into gas that flew up into the skies above, the poor unfortunate soul's arms and legs bound behind his back in a twisted, scrunched-up pose.

As tempting as it was for this single figure that gazed upon Ganondorf Dragmire to just let him rot…as incredibly tempting as it was…she couldn't honestly bring herself to do it. But it wasn't for his sake that she was helping him. It was for Hyrule. If she freed him…the nightmare ended. And she WOULD end it. If only HE would stand-

"Whatever makes you believe I'd stop you?" The being asked calmly, a small smile spreading across his face.

"I imagine that Dr. Eggman's end would be something of a benefit to you."

"My organization doesn't much like competition. One way or another, we…deal with them. And frankly, mad scientists such as Eggman are…a dime a dozen. And considering he would have gone back on his word regardless of what was given to him…"

The blind being began to slowly step backwards into a portal, bowing his head slightly in the direction of Navi's voice. "Tell them SHE'LL be waiting there…in HIS special place…his sacred place…"

And with this, he was gone from Hyrule, the blue fairy left alone, a hovering little soft light that flickered around in the air by the insidious device of Dr. Eggman. "Oh my. This DOES look important." Navi chuckled slightly as she hovered into a small crevasse, an exhaust vent that led inside of the machine. "No. This simply won't _do_." The sound of creaking and cracking filled the air within seconds.

"Oh my. How dreadfully, dreadfully rude of me."

KLUNKA-KLANG! The machine began to be broken down, falling apart into chunks of metal and scrap, the dark fog slowly dissipating bit by bit…as light began to filter in through the dark clouds hovering over Hyrule, light beaming into the cavern, striking against Dark Link's skin as he gasped slightly, a harsh, singing feeling rising on his arm as he reeled back.

"Oh. You don't LIKE the light, do you?" Alex chuckled darkly as he held one claw up and smashed it squarely into the wall closest to him, a thick beam of sunlight shooting through and bathing over Dark Link's chest. He howled in pain, his red eyes widening as he staggered around, his flesh sizzling with each beam of sunlight he touched. His screams were frighteningly human, but Alex didn't care. This being had lied to Zelda, manipulated her, had terrorized two goddesses of Hyrule and was trying to kill him. There was little sympathy in his heart, if any, for this nonhuman, nonperson. "You made two mistakes."

"No!" Dark Link screamed out, gasping and howling as Alex began to punch new holes in the wall, more and more light streaming in, everyone's eyes on his spasming, pulsing form. "STOP! Please! I beg you!"

"Mistake number one. It ISN'T wise to have your weakness be so obvious. If you can be defeated by a ray of sunlight, you really should have all your fights deep underground." Alex remarked coldly, ripping another large piece of cavern wall free, Dr. Eggman crawling on his stomach out of one of the many back entrances, slithering on the ground by his stomach like a snake as he struggled to get out unnoticed. Luckily for him, nobody WAS noticing. Dark Link's terrible cries of pain and pleas for mercy were catching everyone's immediate attention.

"PLEASE!" Dark Link howled out, now trapped in the middle of the room, a sizzling, steaming wreck, tiny little bubbles popping out on his skin like he was a chicken pot pie that was being left in the oven for far, far too long. His skin was becoming pasty and sweaty, and yet despite how warm it was, he was shivering as if in frigid temperature. "Please, no…_please_…"

"And number two." Alex whispered, crawling up to the top of the cavern, which now resembled Swiss cheese, and beginning to carve a large circle at the very top. "Be careful who you disrespect…you bloody _FREAK_."

He yanked the top off, sunlight pouring directly in from above, bathing over Dark Link as the evil being let out a final, wailing cry before dissipating into nothingness before their eyes, Alex dropping to the ground and dusting himself off.

"Sorry, but my mother always told me to put on the light whenever I entered a room." He finished. "And in this case, put out the "dark"." He added as the goddesses approached him, Link looking at Zelda as White and Erin held each other tightly, kissing deeply.

"I…apologize." Link admitted, his face filled with shame as he nervously looked down and to the side. "I had come here to aid you, only to find you had things well in hand. I shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion that you needed help-"

"You were only trying to be helpful, Link." Zelda insisted, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking her head back and forth as she took his hands in hers and tenderly smiled at him. "Link, I love that about you. You haven't any need to prove anything to me."

"My friends, we…wish to apologize. Most sincerely." Farore insisted as she clasped her hands together and bowed her head before them all, especially at the surprised Alex. "For years we've been trying to find different ways to benefit Hyrule. Yet even now, at a time when we walked among our people we were so easily and embarrassingly caught off guard, I mean…that kind of stuff doesn't CUT it!"

"It's RIDICULOUS." Din grunted. "We totally failed as protectors of Hyrule. We had to rely on outside help again…and again and again. And this time is no different, even at a time when we were **trying** to be something different."

"We are…unsure…of where we are meant to go now." Nayru admitted. "Unsure of what we are to do. We attempted to have a role in the background for eons. And for several decades here we lived among our people, actively assisting. Yet still it does not seem to have been enough, and…" She adjusted the tiny glasses on the bridge of her nose, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "I am loathe to say it, but…I feel my time has been wasted, my LIFE has been wasted. I must ask something of you." She wanted to know, looking into Link's eyes.

"Ask me anything." He said to her, a bit confused as to what she could want.

"How do you…well, "do it"?" She inquired. "How do you continue to move forward? How do you find contentment and peace?"

"I just help people whenever I can and however I can." Link insisted, putting a hand on his chest.. "No matter what time or region of this land I am from. I am out in land, doing all I can. That is enough."

"…what's good for the goose." Nayru said with a small smile. "My sisters…I have an idea…" She turned to Alex. "How would you like your curses removed?"

She turned to Zelda, White, Erin and Link. "And we do mean ALL of them."

"Aw, I loves a happy ending." White chuckled, before the unmistakable sound of a portal opening up ripped through the air behind him and Erin. "Eh?"

"We need you back at the mansion." Master Hand told him, an aura of genuine concern lingering in his voice. "Your friend "Perry" has need of your assistance."

"P-Perry?" Nick's voice squeaked out a bit from White's body.

"As you know, I've got more and more footholds in the worlds you've visited the more comfortable and "Safe" they are to the side of Good. And I've learned through one such foothold…that Angela is dying."

…

…

…

… Angela struggled to stay conscious, swimming in and out of being awake and being asleep as Tachyon sat in a nearby chair inside of the medical examination room, the latest and greatest medical equipment scanning her as she laid on a bed. The entire room was one giant computer, similar, in a sense, to a CAT scan. But it was getting more than just a magnetic image, far more. In a few minutes she'd be x-rayed, scanned for infrared, her bloodwork taken…

But just as it had been with Max Apogee, Emperor Percivcal Tachyon knew that the answer would be one big goose egg. Nothing could be done. Ratchet and Clank stood nearby, looking from Angela's faintly murmuring form and Tachyon's deeply bowed head, realizing just how…small he seemed. How sad and unhappy, how…miserable.

And Angela. Angela genuinely loved him, Ratchet thought to himself. They couldn't just let her die.

"There's got to be something we can do." Ratchet insisted.

"There might be one person who could assist." Tachyon spoke up quietly, looking through his clawed hands and turning to face the lombax, an idea coming to him. "The former Gamemaster, the Guide, that human youth, Nick. He's capable of doing things that aren't possible in most worlds, of altering reality around him. I've heard tales he brought a woman back from the dead. Curing Angela would be easy!"

"We do not wish to give you false hope." Clank admitted apologetically. "We have no doubt that Mr. Grey's skills are considerable, judging from what WE have also heard."

"I heard that Zim shoved a road flare up…" Ratchet trailed off, shivering a bit.

"**NOTHING** HAPPENED BETWEEN ME AND ZIM!" A voice yelled out in a galaxy far, far away…which, due to a portal shooting open to their right, now ended up much closer than everyone thought. Nick stepped through the portal, frowning angrily as he folded his arms across his chest. "I'm tired of telling everyone that! Now what's going on with Angela?" He insisted as several other members of the "Smash Pros" stepped inside as well to do a full examination of their own, Ratchet surprised by the floating purplish/white cat that was Mewtwo.

The two stared into each other's eyes, tilting their heads slowly to the right…then to the left…then centering their heads once more before Ratchet spoke up.

"Orphan?" He guessed.

"Orphan."

Ratchet nodded quietly. It was just one of those things that those who had lost such dearly beloved knew about others in the same boat. You could just "tell".

Mewtwo hovered over to Angela, putting his paws on the side of her head as he concentrated, "Perry" explaining the full situation to Nick as Fox looked down at Clank in awe. Or rather, IN Clank.

"I feel so violated." Clank grumbled as Fox flashed a small little laser light around in Clank's opened chest compartment, the furry pilot's eyes widening like he was Bambi before his dad, tail whipping excitedly back and forth in the air.

"Simply fascinating. Internal power drive regulated by dilithium crystals that fluctuate-"

"Oh geez, he's going geek again." Samus muttered, whacking him on the back of his head, Clank smiling a little as Fox backed off and the blond-haired bounty hunter put the lid back on Clank's chest.

"Much appreciated."

"I am not sensing any degree of…mental tampering." Mewtwo finally intoned, hovering slightly away from her as he folded his arms before his chest, growling a bit in annoyance. "I do not like…failing."

"There's always "nature's shortcut"." Samus remarked quietly as they all crowded around the bed, Sude stepping forward, putting one tender claw on Angela's chest and trailing it in a circle as he chanted under his breath.

"What's that?" Ratchet asked, looking confused.

"You know. Put her out of her misery. If this thing IS fatal, and supposedly it is…"

"Ms. Aran, allow me to explain things very, very succinctly. If you so much as look…the wrong way…at her…" Tachyon hissed, scuttling up to Samus's form and glaring deep into her eyes, his claws twitching in slight, spastic motions. "I am going to tear your head from its shoulders."

"You want a piece of me, crab boy?" Samus snapped. "I don't much like _seafood_!"

"Oh you little-" Tachyon growled, the two grabbing each other's shoulders and pushing hard, trying to knock one down to the ground before Sude let out a horrified cry.

"Oh no, oh _NO_!" He gasped, reeling away from Angela, slamming into the wall behind him, panting and heaving heavily before he wiped his forehead free of sweat, turning to the others. "I…I know the cause behind this strange affliction. Nick…we need to talk. Privately."

Sude rested a hand on Nick's shoulder, escorting him through the portal, which closed up behind them. At least, for now.

What they didn't know was that Pikachu was listening to every single word in the tree they were talking under, the same tree he had been eating his lunch in. The yellow electric rodent stiffened a bit as Sude's words came on, quiet, sad…and yet with an air of "I knew this would happen" lingering in them.

"This is the work of your…type."

"What do you mean by THAT? My TYPE?" Nick said, looking genuinely offended as his fist clenched a little. "MY _TYPE_? There's no humans in that universe as far as I-"

"No, not humans." Sude sighed as he held his head in one hand and let out a long, deep sigh. "…how did Emperor Tachyon say he was released from that other dimension? Who got him out?"

Blinking stupidly, mouth slightly hanging open, Nick thought. And thought hard. Who? Who had helped-

Oh no.

_"You're from Ratchet and Clank's realm!" Nick gasped, pointing at Tachyon. "But...but wait! How can you be in E.G.O? You're not from anywhere CLOSE to a cartoony realm of existence, this...this shouldn't be possible?"_

_"My dear boy, if you have power, ANYTHING is possible." Tachyon mused._

_"Especially if you've got a golden emerald that was given to you by a drop-dead gorgeous, fox eared big-breasted human." Angela added as Tachyon motioned for them to follow him down another hallway._

_"Yes, yes, that helps too!" Tachyon said in a chipper fashion, rubbing his hands together. "I owe my life to Susan Marie. Charming girl. Very nice BEHIND. She helped me when I was trapped in a desolate dimension, stuck on a small planetoid...my life was saved by a force you're well aware of, Mr. Grey." He mused. "You might remember her by another name as well...MARIAN?"_

Nick stiffened up on the spot. "Aw, DANG." He whispered. "Those…stupid Sues!"

"Your very existence in a reality affects things. Reality is as you perceive it due to your nature, correct?"

"I see people as basically good, I see them as redeemable, I see them as capable of doing great things. So they become that…for the most part. No matter what world I might visit, no matter how things change, they stay the same." Nick agreed. "I remember. I'm meant to exist to bring out people's best potential."

"True, because your influence is, in a sense, a kind of "good infection"." The Seraphi explained, nodding his head as he patted Nick's shoulder with a large hand. "You are indeed the invading force, but you bring goodness, kindness, morality, and **not** smallpox blankets."

"…did Marian give Angela a disease? A literal blanket filled with some virus?" Nick wanted to know.

"The blanket was not literal, and not given to her. No, her interaction with Tachyon left a taint on him. He was around that…that WOMAN…" Sude hesitated to use the word to describe a thing like Marian. "For so long he built up more of an immunity to her poisonous presence, but anyone he has gotten intimate with…"

"Wait. You said "MORE"." Nick's eyes widened as he gripped Sude's arms. "_More_? More's not good! That makes it sound like-"

"It's killing him. Tiny bit by bit. I could sense it." Sude admitted. "I am Entity of Life, and I AM powerful, but if we wish to cure them…we need to seek out a little "hair of the dog that bit them". We have to find out where she is. And we need to do it in the next twenty-four hours…or Angela Cross shall die."

…

…

…

…even in the midst of death, though…there was hope. Especially for Alex Hardie.

"I haven't felt this happy since I met with Green in Hawaii! Or that day I met with Elvis. Hoo-hah!" Alex chuckled as he looked over himself in the mirror at Link's home in the Diggers Community. "No tail! No fangs! No claws! Goodbye, werewolf form, _thank-you-GODDESSES_! I might have to convert." He told Link and Zelda, who were sitting on the bed, one hand upon each other's. "What's the name of your paganism? Are you Hylianist? Or maybe "Trinitist", since there are three of them?"

"Your gratitude should be thanks enough." Zelda insisted. "Link, you're certain Navi said "sacred place"? And a "she"?"

"I'm certain Master Hand will have more answers." Link insisted before he stood up and headed for the door, closing it behind him as Farore stood outside, hands behind her back, nervously tracing a foot on the dirt floor below whilst the Din spoke with Link's mother and father about new training regimens for the latest in a new life of Digger defenders. And Nayru? Well…

"You seem…preoccupied." Link admitted as Farore chewed on her lip, her green hair bobbing up and down slightly as she nodded.

"We're going to be leaving soon, and I don't even know if we're really ever going to see you again." Farore added as Navi hovered over her shoulder. "We need to take Ganondorf with us. Teach him a lesson about not, you know, enslaving Hyrule." She chuckled. "But there's something we wanted to tell you before we left. In case…we never get another chance to talk."

"What is it you have to say?" Link wanted to know, confused by Farore's attitude. Was it…embarrassment?

"There **was** a time when we Goddesses chose a hero. And the hero refused to help. That resulted in us being left with no choice but to flood Hyrule in a desperate attempt to stop Ganondorf." Farore murmured out. "We entreated him to assist, but he would not heed our warnings or commands. He felt insulted. He put his desire to live his own life free of our influence over the good of all Hyrule."

Link was quiet for what seemed to be a long, long time as he looked down at Farore. She did not seem so…big. She seemed much, much smaller now than she'd been before. And she seemed so…young.

"He wanted to make his own choices. There's nothing wrong with that. But this was something he should have…we just expected…the point is we…we NEED…people like you." She admitted. "We NEED people who are willing to give up normal lives in the name of making sure millions of others can have them!" Farore insisted, placing her hands together and bowing deeply before Link. "We can't DO this sort of thing on our own. We **tried** that, and we learned that when you get all this power, you…you can't come home." She sighed. "Our isolation is the price that the powerful and the responsible pay. At least you, once it's all over, get to do anything you'd like with your life. We…we don't have a life. Not really. So…what I'm saying is…"

She looked over Link's shoulder and at the room for a moment before looking back at him. "We're going to call on you from the towers we stand on. Again. And again. And again. And I am so, so, sorry. But please. PLEASE don't hate us for this. Please just try and be patient and strong. And PLEASE…forgive us for what we put you through, even inadvertently. We really are just trying to do **everything **we can to make this world a good place."

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and slowly looked up, Link's gentle face smiling down at her.

"My Goddess…you didn't need to ask for something you've always had." He insisted, slowly turning around and heading back inside the room as Navi slightly sniffled.

"I knew he'd say that." She murmured. "…oh, Link. I'm so proud of you. What a fine young man you've become."

"Why didn't you tell him you were-" Farore began to say.

"You need him. But he doesn't need me. When he needs me…I stay. But when he just wants me…I must go. And now I have to go." Navi said softly, floating through the air. "…one day maybe he'll need me again. Until then…Navi'll wait for him in his old room…and wait for him to remember when the wind in the forest's branches woke him from slumber."

…

…

…

… "Perhaps we shouldn't be so surprised she's decided to hide out there." Mewtwo admitted angrily as he looked over the map that Master Hand was bringing up for them, everyone having assembled in the drawing room at the mansion, some sitting on chairs, others on sofas, the younger and smaller Smash Pros sadly regulated to the floor and/or the bigger Smash Pro's shoulders. Ness was positively gleeful.

"It feels like my patookie's getting warmed-up." He announced as he sat on Donkey Kong's shoulder. "Thanks for being so hairy!"

"Think nothin' of it." Donkey Kong insisted, adjusting his tie. He had felt a bit too hot…he'd had to lose the coat. Yet he had a sneaking suspicion there was more to his desire to get rid of the coat than just a change in body temperature.

"A return to our home." Pikachu said quietly, placing his paws together as he bowed before Master Hand, Jigglypuff looking over a small notepad in her stubby hands, scribbling something down. "In truthfulness, I am not ungrateful. It shall be a good thing to see Lucario once more."

"It was Lucario who informed me that Arceus had returned from the depression he'd sunk into." Master Hand admitted as he drew his enormous hand/self across the map, changing it into an enormous photo album before their eyes. "Unfortunately, what he entered into was something much, much worse."

A foul, messy vortex of unnatural colors, like a crude watercolor painting blended together by someone who was high out of their gourd. Hundreds upon thousands of Pokémon struggling to stay on top of tiny little islands that floated around in this cascade of color, others tragically falling to their demise, mouths open in screams the Smash Pros could hear within their minds, their eyes filled with terror and despair…and in almost all the pictures, the unmistakable image of Arceus at the center of the vortex, eyes filled with an unholy anger and rage…and a humanoid figure sitting atop his head. A familiar, furry figure.

"_Susan Marie_." Nick hissed.

"Evidently she's made him completely lose his marbles." Jigglypuff said darkly. "And when the Creator of OUR universe loses it, then…"

"How DID Arceus…y'know…come to be?" Erin wanted to know, scratching her head as White sat on the armchair of the couch she was on.

"Well, he was born from an egg in the midst of nothingness." Mewtwo explained.

"Sounds iffy. I mean, how'd it get there, what was there bef-" Erin began to say.

"_It's PERFECTLY simple. Big egg. In the middle of space. End of story." _Jigglypuff snapped. "We'll have the cure for the Common Cold **any day now!**"

Everyone looked at her as she blushed. "Er…sorry, I didn't mean …anyhow, I've PLANNED for this sort of thing. I have ways to taking down even ARCEUS if he gets out of hand."

"You? Come up with a decent plan?" Nick found himself asking, whipping his head in her direction. "I'm sorry, Jigglypuff, it's just that…well…" He struggled to find the words to say.

"Just that what?"

"…your plans always fell apart because of REALLY stupid things. Like that one time you left that "off" button on your mech's back. Or the time you had that coin-operated laser cannon and you ran out of-"

"I KNOW!" The Balloon Pokémon shrieked, waving her stubby fist at him as she puffed up to full size. "But this time is DIFFERENT. I'd made up plans to take out every single member of the Legendaries. Whatcha can't outpower or outthink or outsmart…outplan. And I did that. Heck, I've already begun making plans for all of you!" She told them cheerily, everyone nervously glancing around at each other as she glanced over at Ness. "YOURS involves rap music."

"…wait, wrap music?"

"Yes. Through temporal manipulation, I found the WORST songs in the multiverse!...I'll be using _Chris Brown_."

"You **ROGUEFUL DEVIL INCARNATE!**" White gasped in horror.

"What IS this plan?" Mewtwo insisted. "You try my patience."

"Don't be silly, Mewtwo, you know you don't have any patience since you lost your doctor's license." Captain Falcon chuckled.

"You have attempted to make a joke. I shall go wild. Ha. _HA_." Mewtwo muttered balefully.

"I guess they didn't include a sense of humor when they programmed you. Ah well. I suppose you all want to know what I've got up my sleeve." Jigglypuff bragged.

"Sleeves imply **arms**." Captain Falcon chuckled as the pinkish Pokémon tossed him a glare, Pikachu rubbing his own arms with a tiny hint of pride on his face as Captain Falcon pinched Jigglypuff's stubs. "Ceci n'est pas une pipe."

"…that was actually _somewhat_ amusing." Mewtwo begrudgingly admitted.

"Just take a look." Jigglpuff said, pulling something out of one of her many pouches, a scribbled-out diagram of Arceus. "Arceus has plates. These plates are where he draws power from, and each of them correspond to a Pokémon element, a type of power that different sub-species use. I'M a Normal type. Mewtwo is Psychic, Pikachu is Electricity, follow me so far?" She asked the others, who all nodded.

"And Arceus?"

"He's a normal type…EXCEPT for all these plates. He can switch them around as he pleases and access incredible powers that would normally only be limited to Pokémon of that type. We break the plates…he loses so much power he's practically just a really big horse." Jigglypuff said, scribbling out big "X's" on the plates that surrounded her drawing of Arceus, giggling madly. "And since so many Legendaries are of multiple types, we'll simply link up with them and-"

"It **shan't **be that easy, I'm afraid, Ms. Jigglypuff." Master Hand informed them, snapping his fingers as a new page of the photo album appeared, showing just where the Legendaries were…in a floating cage that Arceus was actually sitting on. "Lucario was lucky enough to break through the vortex to get these magical images for me with the tools I sent. But he isn't strong enough to break the cage. I wish that more of you could go, but none of you have the proper elemental alignments needed. Simply put…"

"Only Pokémon shall work for this? Then we are going to be prepared to "pick up the slack"." Pikachu said calmly. "I will shatter it into pieces with his aid, whilst Mewtwo keeps Arceus at bay for as long as he can."

"Do not be surprised if I defeat him." Mewtwo commented calmly, chuckling a little.

"Nick, you, Zelda and Link must follow me in the garden outside." Sude insisted, waving a claw in the air. "There's a development in your abilities that might be of some assistance if we can get it to manifest, a development that might allow you to be of some use to the others in this upcoming skirmish." The white dragon led them towards the back door, heading for the grassy little garden outside as a tiny wind blew through the flowers to their sides.

"Link…Zelda…your instruments?" The Seraphi asked, giving Link a small little ocarina, Zelda being given a harp. "Now tell me, Nick. How much do you know of…well, "classical" music?"

"It's mostly all instrumental, I think. I like it, but I've never really…" Nick shrugged. "You know. Done things with it to my ability."

"Now you'll get the chance." Zelda said, smiling as she lightly strummed her harp, Link tapping his foot against the ground to the rhythm of her playing. "We are to function as a group, an enormous team devoted to saving and protecting our worlds. Our individual abilities shall serve to benefit each other and help our powers grow, and what we are capable of doing shall serve to help you develop your own powers, if my guess is correct."

"We've seen your special breed of magic function around song, but what of the simple beauty that our instruments can bring?" Link mused. "Zelda suggested we discover what we could reveal through this."

"Well…go ahead. I'll…give it a shot. Somehow." Nick said with a shrug. "It can't hurt, after all."

Zelda began to strum her harp as Link began to blow upon his ocarina, a flowing melody entering Nick's ears, his eyes slowly closing as he bobbed his head to the tune, tapping his foot as Sude began to hum and harmonize, his heavenly voice rising and lowering in pitch to the song that Zelda and Link were playing, faint trickles of light flowing up from them all as Nick…began to DANCE.

He weaved and twirled, arms spread wide, posing as he danced around in the garden, flower petals flowing around him in circular motions as the song continued, whatever clouds that were above in the skies slowly vanishing, the sun's gentle rays beaming down upon the small group as everyone else from the house slowly found themselves drawn outside, gazing in awe at the performance.

And as they watched, a sensation, a realization of thunderous proportions came over them. Whatever fear, whatever nervousness had been in their hearts…all of that became stripped from them, as a sense of faith entered them, an innate knowing that their duty was the right way, the best way, and that they WOULD succeed, no matter what they were to face. Perhaps this was a manipulation of their minds, perhaps their spirits were being bent to the will of the melody that now filled the air as vivid and beautiful as any fine orchestra. Perhaps.

Yet they knew, they knew it was not. It was a discovery of an absolute truth.

And the truth was that they, at their core, were meant to be heroes, and they were meant…

To win.


	36. Chapter 36

**Wow, this update was far too late for my tastes. Darn stupid job. Hopefully this update will please you guys a little. Again, please try to be patient with me. I've got so much on my plate right now.  
**

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX**

The Pokémon world had, at one time, been a pretty place. It was quiet little world where life TRIES to make sense, where time had seemed to stop, and where people were decent to one another. It was a safe place.

Or at least, it had been.

"You're confused. Desperate. Terrified." The human girl chuckled. "You don't understand. Are you awake? Are you dreaming? Is this Hell? What am I? Why do I want this giant horsey to chew out your guts and hollow out your skull? And why do I think all that is **funny**?" Susan Marie chuckled darkly as she rested her head on her palms, holding them behind her back as the majestic equine-esque entity known as Arceus hovered in the air around her in the enormous thunderhead of whirling, tempestuous clouds that she'd had her new "pet" summon up.

"Because you need better hobbies. Or to see a psychiatrist." Mew murmured, her long tail curling back and forth as she sat with the other Legendary Pokémon in the floating cage that was their current prison. They were lucky. A great deal of other Pokémon had been lost to the winds around them, others barely managing to stay alive by clinging to flying land, struggling to stay on top of tiny little islands that floated around in this cascade of color. The whole place had become some dark nightmare from Vincent Van Gogh's life. And this looked like one of those instances where the old wives tale would come true: you were going to die in a dream. And die horribly.

"I do have a hobby. It's screwing around with little toys like you. I don't want to destroy you, not really." She said, holding up her palm. "I just wanna be able to get you "big bad Legendaries" brought down to Earth,get you all down to the size where I can put you in my pocket or flush you down the toilet. I mean, look at you. _Really_? The very first chance you get to try and improve this world and you do it by having your god enslave little kiddies to keep a giant lie going?" Susan Marie laughed as she brushed her hair back, the black becoming pink before their eyes. "How droll. The machines already tried that. They did a far better job than you did, and the only thing it took to take them down was that **stoner** from "Bill and Ted"."

The cat-like Pokémon snorted so hard she almost launched snot at airspeed velocity through the air. "And the very first thing YOU do when you enter our world is use that same god on us? Oh yes. You are SO infinitely morally superior to us." Mew murmured balefully at her, blue eyes blazing as Susan furiously snapped her head back at her.

"And the very first thing YOU do to my speech I took three hours to think up is to IGNORE what I'm saying! SHUT UP! You make too much noise!" Susan snarled, her hair then turning into blue. Clearly she couldn't decide on her hairstyle any more than she could decide on whether she was an eloquent Bond villain or a lunatic with a giant monster on a leash. "S.I.E.L.E.N.T!"

Well, that shut them up, admittedly, and Susan calmed down slightly as she put her hair into a bit of a ponytail with a little braid she had in her pocket. "Okay, fine. I'm a LITTLE insane. But is that such a bad thing? I mean, aren't we ALL a little bit crazy?"

"No. No, we're not." A voice rang out, deep, golden and positively **furious**. "We might ACT that way, but most of us aren't. But I doubt you understand the difference from fantasy and reality considering you're wasting your time on a flimsy, hypocritical justification for enslaving semi-sentient monsters that shoot laser beams and breath fire by forcing their god to carry you around like he's your little pony."

Susan looked up, gaping in surprise at the beings that were emerging from a portal above, descending down into the thunderhead, suspended telekinetically in the air. A small communicator device attached to his tail, Mewtwo led the charge with Pikachu hovering nearby, electricity a-flicker over his little yellow body as Jigglypuff landed squarely on the mighty Arceus's muzzle and grinned darkly at him, Lucario holding onto one of the plates.

"What in the?" Arceus gasped out.

"You've been a bad girl. Now it is time for your **spanking**." Mewtwo chuckled darkly.

"Go to sleeeep, go to sleeeeep!" Jigglypuff laughed out. "**REST**!" She proclaimed, her eyelids fluttering shut as an enormous cracking like a giant bullet striking its target filled their ears, Arceus's eyes shooting wide open as he staggered back from a mental assault that Jigglypuff had launched from her subconscious with the sudden onset of sleepiness. He reeled back, Jigglypuff flying off as Mewtwo caught her, Lucario grinning as he wrenched one of the plates off and tossed it into the abyss below, leaping onto another, gripping and ripping THAT one too before he leapt off, avoiding a sudden blast from Suan Marie, who had evidently procured a shotgun. SOMEHOW.

"Bah. And to think, I was a Mewtwo over Lucario fangirl. I'M GONNA TURN YOU ALL INTO THROW RUGS!" She roared out at him as Arceus tried to recompose itself, Lucario leaping from floating rock to floating rock as Pikachu leapt through the air at her, an electrified fist slamming into the ground, just barely missing her as she leapt away in time. She cocked her shotgun and fired again, but Pikachu was now the one who leapt away, Mewtwo letting out a roar and launching a psychic blast of purplish/white energy at Arceus, who growled darkly as his color scheme began to change to a darker tone…

Or at least, he tried to, only to gape in surprise as he was struck in the chest, Lucario firmly nodding at Mewtwo as he made for a floating island with several flying Pokémon . "My associate Lucario removed your "ghost" plate. You no longer have a crippling weakness to inflict upon me." Mewtwo snapped before Arceus let out a roar and launched a steely-white energy from its forehead at him, launching him back through the air like he was a bird that had been launched from a cannon. "GAH! Evidently, you are still no, as they say, "pushover"…" Mewtwo murmured.

"STAND STILL you…stupid little Smasher!" Susan Marie screeched, firing off at Pikachu again and again.

"Smash Pros! Though I admit, "**Smasher**" has a good ring to it, I must say." The electric rodent agreed as she kept blasting holes in the land around her, Lucario having reached the floating cage on Pidgeot of all people, who picked the lock with her beak. Now with Arceus AND Susan Marie distracted, all the fear and terror that the other Pokémon had had was gone, now…now the idea of open defiance…the idea they could genuinely WIN…was becoming more and more appealing.

They could win…

And they WOULD win!

…

…

…

… "A **piano**. You're sure about this? I mean, REALLY, kid?" Captain Falcon asked as Nick sat in front of a piano with a sheet of music in one hand, his other resting carefully on the keys as Samus looked over Angela in her bed with a small, remote-esque device that had a scanner built in. Master Hand had been giving the Smash Pros quite a bit of backup, he didn't have much energy, and in the event that things went very badly for the group fighting Arceus and acquiring Susan Marie in the name of bringing her back to cure Angela…he had to conserve power.

As in…not use his powers create musical instruments to put inside the mansion. Yes, Zelda and Link had a harp and an ocarina, but Nick didn't have the time to learn how to play them. They had an **hour**. If the others hadn't come back by then or reported in, Nick had given his promise that he'd intervene, and now he was trying to hone his skills in the "Instrumental" vein of magic music as quickly and smoothly as he could.

You might think this was something easy to accomplish. How hard could it really be, especially to learn how to play an ocarina? Well…to those who scoff at the idea of learning an ocarina as being hard, I say **this **to you:

Try to remember how to play the Scarecrow's Song.

You can't, can you?

…I thought so. Moving along. Luckily for our instrumentally-challenged youth, Tachyon's ship had a piano, and Nick DID know some piano songs. It was like riding a bicycle. You never forgot! Sort of.

"I KNOW it's simple." Nick remarked with a sigh as he looked back from the sheet of music to the piano, plinking out a few notes as Samus frowned in a slightly depressed look at a few of the guards who had also fallen ill on Tachyon's ship…and who were beginning to develop all-too-similar symptoms to poor Angela's current catastrophic condition. "But "The Swing" was the first song I was ever good at. Stick with what you know, right?"

"Well hurry up and relearn it, they could be getting killed out there!" Captain Falcon insisted.

"People are getting killed in HERE, Douglas." Samus snapped over her shoulder as the racing bounty hunter glared balefully at her. "PERRY over here had the "ingenious" idea of using his own DNA to create a mutagenic compound that transfigured the genetic material of others into the Cragmites he's got in the ship. And since he got that DNA from himself after he met with Susan Marie…"

"You mean that they're all infected too?" Nick asked, yanking his head away from the sheet music as Fox tilted one Cragmite's head back.

"Say "aahhh"." He asked.

"_Ahhhhhhh_!" The thing groaned out, its breath so bad that it turned Fox's hair green right on the spot, Fox coughing madly as he stepped back, the Cragmite coughing loudly and horribly himself.

"Yes. They're all infected, alright." Fox managed to gasp out, hacking slightly. "Oogh."

"And you'd better get all of your men in the medical wing and have us start running things before your helmsman crashes your ship into another planet, or your engineers make your pulsar core modulator drive blow up when they're trying to suppress the blood rising up their throats." Samus added as Ratchet stood by Angela's side, squeezing her hand as Clank typed away on a nearby computer that was examining the infected genetic structures, tracking the spread of the disease.

"A CIVILIAN can't give the captain orders on his own ship, I don't care if you ARE a galaxy-famous bounty hunter!" Percival Tachyon, Emperor of the Cragmites snapped angrily as Falcon picked up an apple.

"That wasn't an order. It was a threat." Captain Falcon said cheerily, peeling the apple in one long strip with a small pocket knife.

"…well THAT'S different." Tachyon mumbled, scuttling off to go to the bridge and relay the order that every man get himself checked out at the medical wing, "Doctor" Kong groaning as he looked over another cragmite's chart.

"Oh dangnabbit." He mumbled. "Dang it, dang it, dang it. The paralysis is spreading too rapidly. Nothing is halting the spread. And I'm running out of ideas. I used to be BURSTING with solutions for things such as this. Oh jeez."

"What?" Nick asked as he began plunking out more notes on the piano. "What's wrong?"

"I said "things". I would have used a **much** more syllabic word if I was still really smart." Donkey Kong mumbled.

"Doc…I-I can't sleep here, I might be paralyzed, but I can still feel how stiff the bed is." The Lombax formerly known as Ernest said, his Cragmite eyes clenched tightly.

"Do you want to be moved to a different bed, then?"

"Yeah. I do like to read at night. Move me to the cot next to Angela. She gives off a glow." Ernest requested.

Unfortunately, within the span of ten minutes, it became clear that they were all totally outmanned in terms of how to handle the enormous plethora of Cragmite guards and workers on Tachyon's flagship. They simply couldn't treat them all. They couldn't even BEGIN to treat them all, Tachyon had spent more money on big guns than on medical equipment! And they were even bunking several crew members together in one cot. It had gotten so bad that Master Hand had actually gone off to go check in with their friend, Snizzi, head of the Galactic Federation, all to see if he had some extra medical supplies to spare.

"Heh. Normally…I'd have to have an escort or wear a ring of rose petals around my wrist for a party like this." Angela sighed to herself, still maintaining a certain sense of humor about everything as Ratchet looked down at her, Tachyon now holding her hand as he looked mournfully down at her, other crew members groaning loudly in pain. "You'd better move me outta here. I snore. I snored the wallpaper half off my room. I once got a fan letter from a team of seismographers at Purgatau."

"If it gets too bad, I'll just do what I always do. I'll hold you close." Tachyon said softly, nuzzling her cheek with one hand. He was so glad she was being brave. "I'm so sorry. Your insides are being turned into mush and you're probably close to entering labor judging by…well…" He looked over at Angela's stomach.

"This is one woman who doesn't mind you commenting on her weight."

"Good to see you've got a sense of humor about it, Angie." Ratchet admitted with a light chuckle, trying to ease the tension as Samus gave the Lombax a sympathetic smile.

"Do you want me to say a prayer?"

"Didn't know you were spiritual." Nick admitted, still hard at work at the piano, though the music was now becoming much more soothing and folksy, and less like a middle school rehearsal.

"Oh, quite. Heh-hem. And now the sacred sleeping prayer of my adopted race, the Chozo." Samus cleared her throat, holding her hands together. "Now I lay me down to sleep…a bag of peanuts at my feet."

Everyone blinked in surprise.

"If I die before I wake…give them to my brother Jake."

Ratchet chuckled at this, heading past Nick to go get Angela some water before he heard Nick whisper out a "PSST", turning his head to look down at the human at the piano. "Ratchet, I need to ask about Perry. He said that your race pretty much ruined his and he was only adopted by the Lombaxes out of ego, not genuine sympathy."

"We exiled them into another dimension because their race had ravaged over a dozen worlds." Ratchet whispered back, looking rather angry now. Oh, Tachyon had said THAT, had he? "And we spared him out of PITY. We didn't care that he was a Cragmite. We tried to make him turn out good. And then he turns on us and tries to wipe all of our race out. He killed my mother. He killed my father. I'm helping you because Angela deserves it. Because these people here need to be turned back into my people. But don't go feeling sorry for your friend. He lost that right a long time ago, kid."

Nick stiffened. He stopped playing the piano and stood staring at Ratchet for a long, long time. A sense of déjà vu and anger was creeping over him. As much as he'd wanted to believe Tachyon's story…after seeing everything here…and hearing the words of someone he KNEW was a hero…yes, Tachyon had had a terrible life. But this did not excuse what he'd done, or his lying to a sympathetic soul. The kid…was furious.

He held one hand over his mouth, curling it into a fist, slightly biting into it before he finally spoke up. "I'm gonna need a minute." He decided, leaving the room...dragging Tachyon with him.

"I want the whole freakin' truth." Nick growled at Perry, his eyes burning with what was very much like hate, the slick walls of the bathroom reflecting their images almost as clearly as the many mirrors within. "The WHOLE truth."

"I TOLD you the truth, the Lombaxes-"

"Who raised you. And you tried to slaughter their race. A race that had only done what they'd done to your kind because the Cragmites were genocidal monsters!"

Dead silence. A nervous expression flitted across Tachyon's face before he tried to speak up. "I don't believe it, I WON'T believe it. You can't understand, not even my father really-"

"Don't tell me." Nick murmured, eyes widening a little. He knew that Tachyon had led forces against the Lombaxes to get back at what they'd done to the Cragmites, but he'd hoped that…

"…"

"…tell me you didn't kill your parents. I need to hear these words."

Tachyon turned away. "I don't have to answer to you."

"…we're curing your crew. What you did was wrong, and we're turning them back to normal. Back to being Lombaxes. And after we've defeated Susan and Arceus, we're going to tell the galaxy what you've been up to, and you're going to jail. For a LONG time." Nick growled out, grabbing Tachyon's shoulder and whispering in his ear. "I could forgive getting even as a kind of justice. Maybe. MAYBE. But from what Ratchet told me, you didn't have the right. Not even close. And I'm not going to come to your rescue. We're done, Perry." He said, heading for the doorway to the bathroom. "We're through."

Tachyon watched him leave, his face becoming unreadable as he made his way through the hallways, one clawed hand passing over a scanning device as he entered a chamber, finding himself before what had been his pride and joy. The towering, domed device with the chair in the center, the node wires hanging from the ceiling of the device…

And Tachyon thought.

And thought.

And thought.

…

…

…

…Ten minutes of fighting had not gone as well as our dear protagonists had hoped. Mostly because even WITH the Legendaries freed and other Pokémon joining in the fight, Susan Marie's had decided to do something unorthodox and had had snatched up two of the falling plates…the "Psychic" plate and "Dragon" plate, and was now flying around through the air, launching psychic bolts of energy at everybody who got within fifteen feet of her, a ponytailed, pretty, psychic powerhouse pumping out putrid psionics again and again and again.

Yes. I DO like alliteration. Can you tell?

Lucario was catching people as they fell from the skies again and again, putting them on floating islands as Mewtwo and Arceus grappled with each other, Mewtwo concentrating as hard as his considerably large mental prowess could, his brow furrowing as he pushed burning waves of psionic flame at Arceus, who was smacking the blasts left and right like it was a barrage of fastballs, and his head was a bat. Pikachu was now riding atop of Latias and Latios, Mew and Lugia the only Legendaries not knocked out as Jigglypuff clung to the edge of the "Steel" plate on Arceus, trying to get a good grip with her stubby arms and failing.

Badly.

"Stupid…darn…wish…I had…fingers!" Jigglypuff yelled out, finally opening up her mouth and biting hard onto the Steel plate with her mouth, the last thing she could think to grab hold of the plate with as Lucario leapt from tiny floating rock to tiny floating rock, racing his way up the thunderhead with giant leaps and bounds.

"Hold on, Jigglypuff!" He yelled out as Mewtwo continued his assault on Arceus and Pikachu kept trying to nail Susan with thunderbolts, the other Legenaries joining in their assault on Susan Marie.

"I cahnt doo muh ELTH, cuhn I?" Jigglypuff complained as best she could, her tiny feet flailing around in the air behind her.

"You are a child battling a god." Arceus chuckled coldly. "Insignificant fool." He told Mewtwo, surging forward, his head knocking Mewtwo back through the air. "Having the POTENTIAL to be powerful is not the same as true power! You are a copy of Mew…soulless and foul…and yet, **somehow**, you continue to think yourself superior, even to me! FIRE PLATE!" With a loud roar, it belched burning flame at Mewtwo, who's body began to sizzle and smoke.

"That is _enough_!" Pikachu growled, leaping through the air and onto a nearby rocky island as he spread his arms wide, electricity crackling around him. "This is a storm cloud of immense might. If I could somehow tap into the natural electricity housed within…tap into the innate thunder that I can even now feel bursting within…" he murmured, paw carefully stroking the wall of clouds around him.

"You need to, I believe the phrase is, "chill out"." Lugia growled out as it spread its own arms wide, swirling light blue energy forming in its mouth as the temperature around him began to noticeably drop. "ICE BEAM!" He roared out, seething-cold temperatures slamming into Arceus, halting the onslaught of flame and making its way into the giant, almost centaur-esque being's mouth, the thing coughing and spluttering madly as Lugia circled above, glaring down at him. "Even a being like you has to halt when all the liquid in your mouth is FROZEN."

THRA-BROOOMPH! Latios was tossed through the air, slamming into Lugia and knocking him through the air, Latias racing after them as Susan Marie lowered one smoking fist she'd had raised, smirking darkly at her triumphant shot. "Bless my crazy, conspiracy-nut survivalist dad for teaching me everything he knew about marksmanship. Took him all of fifteen minutes, but bless him anyway."

"You've been a naughty girl!" Mew announced, holding one paw up as a psychic ball of energy began to form. She held it before her, a thick, shaft-shaped blast of energy shooting forth at Susan Marie. "PSYBEAM!" The psychic cat roared out as it raced towards the Sue…

Unfortunately Sue was quick, and she flew through the air away from Mew's beam, opening up her mouth as bluish flames belched out at Mew…the insidiously dangerous "Dragon Rage", swirling in a helix fashion through the air, burning into Mew's fur as she screeched in pain, struggling to bat the flames out and stay afloat in midair.

But then…hope. Mewtwo looked down, seeing electricity sizzling around Pikachu's body as the electric rodent tapped into the thunderhead's innate electrical might. An idea came to Mewtwo as he swept down to kneel by Pikachu. "I have a plan." He psychically informed his compatriot, Pikachu's eyes widening before he nodded curtly, Mewtwo raising him up in the air as lightning sparked off of the yellow mouse like he was a tesla coil.

_**"IS THERE NO ONE HERE TO CHALLENGE ME?"** _Arceus snarled out, glaring down at the only one seemingly left, Lucario, who had his dukes up and was growling a bit, Susan Marie sitting on Arceus's shoulder, laughing at the sight.

"Go on. Laugh. But I deny you." Lucario growled out, pointing with a paw. "I will never give in to one such as you. You are an insult to your species."

"There's that wonderful Pokémon racism." Susan laughed.

"I wasn't talking to YOU. You stopped being human long ago." Lucario said stonily, Susan's smug little smile vanishing from her face as Arceus snorted.

"You think you can even remotely damage me when all the others have tried and failed?"

"Damage…perhaps not." Lucario said with a slightest of shrugs…and the smallest of smirking smiles. "But I can distract you."

And with that, Mewtwo launched Pikachu down with all of his telekinetic might, the electric rodent zipping through the air like he'd been shot out of a high-powered rifle. The charged-up thunder mouse slammed right into the top or Arceus's head with the force of Thor's hammer coming down, Arceus screaming in pain as electrical power tore into his body from the head down, Pikachu exiting out of Arceus's chin as the gigantic, horse-like Legendary Pokémon howled and wailed and screeched, bucking Susan off of him as he began to fall…

Along with the rest of the suspended rocks and chunks of land as the thunderhead dissipated. But Pikachu's face was filled with triumph. They had won…they had won.

It was enough.

…

…

…

…the head of the Galactic Federation had been having a busy day whilst all this was happening.

"Breathe." He said, removing the patches from off of Master Hand, who was panting heavily and somehow sweating despite not being a normal physical form. He'd been happy to offer up the GF's medical facilities on his space station, and they were already, via a rip in hypertime, on their way through a dimensional pathway to Tachyon's flagship. But the minute they'd entered the pathway, Master Hand had collapsed to the ground like a fish out of water, flopping around constantly and gasping in pain.

"H-hard to…" Master Hand managed to gurgle out. "Wh-what's…going on?"

"You're DRAINED." Snizzi snapped. "Your magical power is centered around pulling the pure raw power out of yourself, isn't it? Not based off of the elements, not based off of an outside source. You're using yourself up, your batteries are drained!" The imp snapped, whacking the Hand on his thumb as his crew removed other scanning patches from the giant hand's body, Tachyon's ship coming up fast on their sensors. "You should have just called me."

"Jumping through a hypertime gate was quicker."

"Faster than a phone call. We'll have to find that out sooner or later." Snizzi decided as he had Master Hand follow him to his chair on the bridge, a desk situated nearby. The whole place had a new, sleek, almost "Ipod" esque look with pearly white walls, glassy doors that swished open and closed with a "Fwip" noise, and the "ping" of computer systems like an Macintosh laptop booting up. He looked over a document on his desk, nodding as he turned to Master Hand. "Here."

"What is it?" Master Hand asked, looking it over as Snizzi took off his glove, biting into his thumb and dripping blood down onto the paper. The blood began to worm its way around the paper, forming into words as Master Hand blinked in surprise.

"As I told my best beloved…there is a paper for EVERYTHING in the Galactic Federation. This will be a contract. Standard agreement. I did you a little favor. I'm DOING you another favor. Now I want something. You scratch my back…"

"One moment." Master Hand would have frowned had he a face of any kind whatsoever. "What kind of favor are you talking about? What is this?"

"I want the boy." Snizzi explained. "Your signature goes here, his goes there…"

"Wait-wait, WHAT? Are you honestly asking for…why?" Master Hand demanded furiously, now getting some degree of genuine authority in his voice. "You've got some nerve…"

"I will TURN this ship right around." Snizzi said in a condescending, "don't you pull this on our vacation trip" voice, wagging a clawed digit in the air. "You're very weak right now. VERY weak. And I could do…so much to you." He whispered, licking his lips with a pointed tongue. "But you have very sick Lombaxes-turned-Cragmites to care for, don't you? And an evil brother to deal with. One who will only submit to extreme physical force, from what you told me. And you couldn't knock over a dandelion in the state you're in."

Master Hand wanted to form a giant finger to wag in Snizzi's face…but the stupid imp was right. He WAS very weak at the moment. And the others needed the medical facilities that Snizzi's station could offer up. Anything to hold off the spread of the disease Sue had slipped into Tachyon.

Speaking of him, the space station was now being connected to the Cragmite's flagship. They had work to do. Master Hand sighed as he nodded as best he could, Snizzi pricking his finger with a claw as the powerful entity's blood dribbled down onto the page, forming into a signature before him as the crew of the station began wheeling in the infected, Angela being hooked up to a device on the bridge as Snizzi put one ear to her stomach.

"You need to hurry with that cure." He said as he took Angela's temperature with a thermometer, putting it back into her mouth. "How long before they can bring that Sue in?" He inquired of Samus, who was talking to Mewtwo as Nick gulped nervously, looking over the paper Master Hand had just signed as he sat on a nearby chair, having finally finished with his impromptu "piano lessons".

"What? Oh. Is everyone alright?" Samus wanted to know. "…what? WHAT? Okay, okay." She turned the communicator off and turned to the others with a solemn expression. "They've won. But we've got heavy casualties."

"Well, good thing my medical wing is far superior to "Perry's"." Snizzi said, clapping his hands as another piece of paper was brought before him. He quickly signed his John Hancock on it, a small portal opening as he gestured at it. "Go ahead, it'll take you to the Pokémon world and you can bring them in here. But hurry, hurry. Time is money. And as plentiful as the Space Pirates assets were, I could always use more."

The Pokémon were wheeled out through the portal one at a time, Pikachu moaning in pain, barely conscious as Snizzi shook his head and clucked his tongue. "These Pokémon aren't the ones you knew and loved from your childhood. I doubt you ever saw Arceus before this."

"How do you-oh…right. You were born from me." Nick mumbled. "That STILL creeps me out." Speaking of "creeps", where IS Tachyon?" Nick asked with a frown, looking around the room. For some reason, the Cragmite had flown the coop. "Did he try to filch out of getting his just desserts? Ugh." He stood up, rubbing his head. "But you've given me an idea for a song I should be practicing…"

…

…

…

…things were soon improving for the converted Cragmites and Angela now that all the Smash Pros were assembled and working together. With the blood of Susan Marie now being analyzed, there was a cure to be found, one which was already being quickly administered. And Angela was in her bedroom right now with Master Hand, who was, along with Samus, helping her give birth.

But as for the Pokémon …they wouldn't wake up.

"They should be opening their eyes." DK said as he let go of Mewtwo's eyelid. "I don't get it. Pulse is fine n' stuff…ohhh, I said "_n' stuff_"!" He groaned, tugging his hair.

"Why aren't they waking up?" Captain Falcon asked in confusion, frowning slightly as Ness waved a hand in front of Jigglypuff's eyes. "I don't "get" how these things work. Can't we just splash cold water on 'em if they've fainted?"

"I don't think they know they've fainted." DK sighed. "WE know they've fainted, but from the coloration of their bodies…its like their bodies won't acknowledge the physics of the world they come from! There's no reason why they shouldn't be wakin' up!"

"I know what to do, somebody wheel in the piano and quick! Pokémon faint all the time in battle, but there's still at least ONE hit point that's left after a fight if I remember right. We can bring them back from the brink if we're quick and if I have my PIANO, where is it?" Nick yelled out, one nervous crewmember apologetically pushing it before him.

"You think its psychosomatic?" DK asked.

"Yeah, kinda. The laws of how they work are there, buried inside. I just need to remind them of what got they used to have, what they used to go by and believe in." Nick insisted. "They lost their way. I know how to remind them of it."

He cracked his knuckles, taking a deep breath as he began to play the song he'd been trying to practice in the last half hour. A familiar, bouncy, cheery little song.

"Nothing quite like appropriate travel music considering we're on our way back to your home galaxy." Nick laughed a little as Ratchet bobbed his head back and forth to the song Nick was playing on the piano, Clank rubbing his chin.

"What…IS this song?"

"It's "Route 1"." Nick explained. "The road to Viridian City. The very first city ever visited IN the Pokémon world as I knew it. The thing's simple, yeah, but-"

"Dah-dah-da-da-da, dah-dah-da-da-da…" Pikachu mumbled out, his eyelids fluttering open as he rubbed his head. "What...where…ahhh, that song." He smiled wistfully as he sat up in his bed. "How my ears rejoice upon hearing that tune." He informed them all, his paws rubbing the sleep from his eyes as one by one the other Pokémon opened up their eyes as well, Mewtwo stretching his arms out and letting out a very kitten-esque mewling yawn, Ness chuckling a little.

"What?"

"You were all "Mraaawwrrr" like a pet cat." Ness chuckled.

"I-I was…the **NERVE**!" Mewtwo admonished, visibly blushing as he held one paw over his face, Arceus frowning a bit over at Nick out of the corner of his eye.

"No need to say "thank you"." Jigglypuff said snidely at the former ruler o'er all the Pokémon world.

"Thank him for what? Freeing me from a HUMAN?" Arceus snapped.

"Don't go playing that "moral high ground" Mr. "I used little kids as batteries for a wonderland"." Nick said as he kept playing, now bouncning his own head back and forth to the song, clearly getting into this. "Just forgive, forget, get over it. We all gotta get together, man!"

"Oh Lord, the thing's turning him into a hippie. Quick, destroy the piano!" Captain Falcon announced loudly, grabbing the piano and yanking it away from Nick, launching it into the wall, Nick pouting a little.

"Aww." He sighed. "Dude, c'mon! I was feeling like I was in Shangr-La and eating cotton candy with the Dalai Lama."

"The Dalai Lama is a SISSY." Captain Falcon snapped. "Now in case you've forgotten, we have a Cragmite crisis to contend with."

"What "crisis"? There's only one real Cragmite-" Yoshi began.

"Not anymore." Master Hand said, entering the room with Samus as she took a hand towel to her hands, now wearing her tight and sky-blue form-fitting bikini outfit. Mostly because she'd been sweating up a storm trying to help Angela give birth. She wiped her forehead, sighing deeply. "Tachyon is over the moon."

"Where was Tachyon anyway? Where he'd run off to?" Ratchet wanted to know.

"He came into the room covered in grease. He said he'd taken a monkey wrench to some machine." Samus remarked. "Some "Genetic Imprint Device-O-Tron"…"

"Oh, c'mon." Fox groaned, rolling his eyes as he folded his arms across his chest. "That sounds like something Slippy would…I mean, what kinda name is-"

"3000." Samus finished.

"…nice." Fox remarked with a raised eyebrow. "I take it back."

"He actually destroyed his machine?" Nick asked, eyebrows held high, mouth slightly open as the others looked around at each other, Ratchet looking particularly surprised. "Maybe he had a change of heart." He wondered, putting his hands in his lap. "…maybe I was right about him the first time…maybe he really is a good guy deep down." He said, leaving the room, heading for Angela's bedroom to go talk to Percy.

"Or maybe he just did it because he didn't want any physical evidence of what he would have done." Clank reasoned as he frowned slightly, eyes narrowing a little.

"It would be the word of well-known heroes against his." Samus said. "…okay, admittedly, I'm not a typical "Hero"…"

"Admittedly, he has been gaining considerably good publicity." Ratchet added as he tapped his foot. "Maybe he's putting his race's future in Angela. How many children did she-"

"Twelve children."

"Holy…how did they all FIT in there?" Ness exclaimed, his mouth gaping as he scratched his head.

"Well, you see, when a mother and a father love each other very much…" Mewtwo began. "…actually I'd better leave this to somebody who isn't a genetic clone of someone else." He decided. "But in regards to the "Cragmite crisis"…" He glanced around the room, focusing on Ratchet. "From what is in your mind…their race is, to put it bluntly, one of conquering, genocidal monsters who are born and bred to kill and enslave and breed. You're wondering if you should let those children **live**."

Ratchet nervously sat down in a nearby chair, chewing his lip. "…well…kind of…I mean…" He trailed off.

"Dude, you aren't…I mean, **WHAT**?" Ness asked. "C'mon! They're BABIES."

"Eesn't this sorta thing…racist?" Mario inquired as he tipped his hat.

"Yeah, how much of eet is you saying "They should die simply because they're Cragmites"?" Luigi agreed.

"It isn't RACIST, they're EVIL." Captain Falcon reasoned. "I lost my lunch reading about what they did to Sirius 3."

"They're not born evil, they're raised to be evil." Mewtwo tried to say. "My. This argument is getting positively **Jungian**. Nature versus Nurture."

"Angela will be raising them. Is she evil?" Zelda asked, raising an eyebrow up.

"Well, to be fair, **Tachyon **seems rather evil." Link admitted as he put his gloved hands together, sitting down in a nearby chair with Zelda by some of the Lombax patients. "So it would be half and half if you wish to make that kind of argument."

"We're not killing little dibbuns!" Fox insisted angrily.

"Even if you DID let them go, their father is still Percival Tachyon!" Ernest Trillium snapped. "I mean, he stuck a needle in me and overwrote my DNA! He turned us into CRAB PEOPLE!" The young Lombax insisted, other Lombaxes in the medical wing all eagerly nodding. "He HATES Lombaxes like me! He won't rest until we're all extinct!"

"Don't go all "they shan't be suffered to live". You can't pay back evil with evil. That's what MY old organization used to do." Jigglypuff offered.

"Even if we let them go, what'll happen after? Tachyon can't really be trusted. He was going to convert an entire galaxy into Cragmites." Samus admitted. "I don't wanna hurt the tykes either, even if they ARE kinda ugly, but…" She trailed off. "…murdering them seems over the line, but even if we spare the kids and don't hurt them, what'll we do with Tachyon?"

"They're going to grow up to be monsters. Even if Angela is their mother and even if she'll try to raise them right, I…they're CRAGMITES." Ratchet groaned. "I should have objected to this before. I mean…freakin' CRAGMITES."

"There's no easy way out of this." Master Hand decided as he floated around in the air. "…what will we do?"

"…uh…I'm not sure how to put this, but…in all of the hubbub…that little witch Susan has snuck off." Snizzi announced.

"…eet ees always something." Mario decided, everyone else letting out a frustrated groan. "Well, let us, as the saying goes, "spleet up, gang"!"


	37. Chapter 37

**CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN**

**Author's Note:**

**I feel really ashamed this was pushed back so far. I have to make up for it. Luckily I think I know just how and I'm gonna do it right now, in this very chapter. **

Susan Marie was in deep trouble and she knew it as she activated the Emergency Temporal Shift Inducer she had cleverly hidden inside of her brassiere, because the moment she touched down in back at the headquarters of the eponymous Crazy Hand's evil lair, it became clear that whatever little shred of sanity and dignity the former chessmaster had…was gone. It had been thrown out the window…along with all the tables.

Chairs had been ripped in half along with every single drape. There were enormous fist-shaped impressions in every single wall and a few even in the ceiling and the floor. Paintings which had once hung so luxuriously and stylishly from the walls, adding culture and good taste to a den of debauchery were now in little tatters, and the wallpaper had been violently shredded and tossed over them. There was a steady but slow flow of water from the bathroom; clearly Crazy Hand had ripped the sinks off the walls and tossed them at the toilets, judging by the smell.

In short, the place looked beyond wrecked. It was worse than a mess. But even that didn't compare to the state of Crazy Hand, who went beyond "worse than a mess". His every single digit twitched, his gigantic form spasming every ten seconds as he mumbled and groaned in a low register.

"I take it…things…didn't go so well." He finally managed to get out as Susan paled, shrinking visibly before her master as he towered high over her.

"W-Well, I-that is to say I-I was…they…"

"They defeated you." Crazy Hand growled out, slowly turning away from her, heading towards a section of wall that HADN'T been punched in some way. "They overcame you. I'm not happy, Susan. Not happy at all."

"Uh, well, y'know, um…" Susan nervously tugged at her collar. "I can clearly see you're in a bad mood boss, I don't, like, y'know, mind coming back later and stuff…"

"You're not going anywhere!" Crazy Hand roared out, hissing coldly as he flipped open a hidden switch on the wall, a large cage falling down right on top of her as he pointed an accusatory finger at her. "What part of "I want them all kinds of dead" did you fail to understand?" He inquired, his voice beginning to crack and twist into something even more high-pitched than before. "Guns, you got it. Powers, you got it. Pets, you got it. EVERYTHING you needed to defeat them. And you failed."

"But it wasn't my fault!" Susan insisted, putting a hand on her chest, whining loudly.

"There's a liiiiittle saying that we've got back where I come from, Susie." Crazy Hand snorted. "He who is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else." He snapped his fingers as the cage promptly shot down through a hole that popped up in the floor, Susan Marie falling through with a loud "EEEEEEEEEEEK" which finally died away as Crazy Hand turned around and "stormed" as best a floating hand could out of the main hall, heading for his private lounge.

"So." He mumbled, plopping down in front of a table that showed off a small diorama made of cardboard and papier-mâché which resembled the Smasher's current residence. "…it's come to that. All the others are gone. Those that aren't dead up and ran like SISSIES!" He hissed, pressing down onto a button in the nearby wall as a NEW construction of solid rock that he'd personally carved descended from the ceiling…a perfect replica of his own mishmash-esque base as it smashed into the diorama, pieces flying everywhere as Crazy Hand giggled with renewed insanity.

"If ya want somethin' done right…ya gotta do it yourself!"

…

…

…

… "She's definitely gone." Mario said as he stood with the others back in the medical wing of Emperor Percival Tachyon's flagship, the emperor himself standing near Angela, one hand wrapped around her waist. Each of the "Smashers" stood in a circle, looking the two over as Ratchet whacked his trademark wrench up and down into his gloved palm, Clank giving him a "Take it easy" look with his deeply thoughtful green eyes. "We've searched everywhere in the ship. I searched it twice myself."

"She teleported out. I can see the matter stream." Samus said, now returned to her armored form, her helmets H.U.D interface beeping and pinging as she looked around them all, holding up a hand as if grasping at some invisible fairy that was trying to fly away form her. "No idea where though. I can only follow up to fifty miles."

"…ONLY?" Mewtwo remarked, his eyes widening in surprise. "My lady, that is…"

"Yeah, chief, that's…I mean…WOW." Nick said, rubbing the back of his neck as Fox looked at her, the inner geek in him rising up.

"Will you marry me?" He wistfully asked before he realized just what he'd said, a large blush coming to his cheeks as he sheepishly grinned. "Er, I…that is…you're SURE she teleported away?"

"Yes." Samus said firmly, nodding her head. "She did port out…and heading…hmmm."

She blinked. It was a nagging thought but…nah. Nah, it was stupid. Why would she want to head towards a moon?

…then again…

"That moon. Something's odd about it." Samus said, walking over to a nearby window and pointing out at it as the others all crowded around like they were picking out fish at a pet store and wanted JUST the right goldfish to go in their tank. "Look at it."

"I'm looking at it. And I'm noticing something quite wrong with it." Snizzi spoke up, the imp snapping his fingers as a small map suddenly burst into the air with a fiery belch of brimstone, the blue-skinned beast scanning the pages. "…there's not supposed to be a moon there."

"That's no moon. That's a BATTLE STATION." Master Hand realized with a sense of horror as a voice all too familiar to him boomed out through Tachyon's ship, echoing out from the speaker system, high, grating and foul. It threatened to overload the PDA through sheer raw VENOM, each syllable dripping with an obvious desire that the speaker had to strangle the beings it was talking to.

"Hello BROTHER OF MINE. You haven't answered my CALLS. So good of you to finally come around to my corner of the galaxy. Now to enact my poorly explained vengeance upon you!"

"He didn't get the brains in the family." Master Hand whispered to the others as his "hand"…well I suppose his BODY, really…formed a "Yeah, y'know" gesture, wobbing a bit back and forth in the air.

As the "moon" came closer and closer it became clear what it really was, a circular sphere unfolding before their eyes like a pop-up book brought to life, slowly transforming into a patchwork of enormous buildings and parks, each different from the other. They could faintly see large glass domes holding rich and luscious parks, towering castles soaring up into the air, all of it looked impressive if not for one little problem…it was coming right towards them.

"The simplest solution is the best one. Ant…meet boot." Crazy Hand's voice rang out as the enormous mishmash base barreled towards the flagship, Tachyon racing towards the bridge with the others as he took hold of the controls.

"Get the shields up!" he yelled at his crew. "I want all weapons operational, I want-"

"Sir, all of the power has been steadily drained from the ship by your…you know…that thing?"

Tachyon groaned and slapped his face with his clawed hand as Nick gave him a look. "What thing?"

"My Genetic Imprint Device-O-Tron 3000! It took up an inordinate amount of power from my ship. With it constantly running, I wouldn't be able to do anything else. Something I should have put more thought into, ideally…" He murmured nervously. "I miscalculated the energy fluctuation capacity needed to variate the trimetric-"

"Could you a-speak eet een English?" Mario requested politely. "We a-don't understand."

"He's saying that the big evil device thing was draining his ship's batteries so badly that he wouldn't be able to use any other technology on the ship without blowing all the power." Samus cut to the quick, waving her hand in the air.

"This is why I need to "go green"." Tachyon murmured as Crazy Hand's base continued to race towards them full speed ahead, soon to rip through the entire flagship like tissue paper, sending their bodies scattering through space to explode in a pulpy-

Or at least that's what WOULD have happened. But luckily a glimmering white shield suddenly became erected around Crazy Hand's rapidly-approaching headquarters, holding it in place a fair distance from Tachyon's ship as Sude's voice rang out, somehow breaking through space to fill their ears. "I knew it would be wise to follow after you." He announced cheerily. "Never, ever be afraid to call upon me for help. This dog's got quite a powerful bite but I'm keeping him in his own backyard where he can't nip at any of you."

"Now you just need to get inside. Luckily…I've got just the thing." Master Hand said as he snapped his fingers. "Tachyon! Do you have a boarding tunnel for forcible takeover of other ships?"

"Oh of course, but that shield-"

"I'll allow the tunnel to flow through it without any issue. I've strength enough for that." Master Hand insisted as Tachyon scuttled over to a nearby control console that rose up like a floating platform from the ground, his clawed hands flying over it as he began to rapidly type. "Nick, you're on support. Find a way to back them up as best you can."

Nick gave the enormous floating gloved hand the peace sign and a cheery grin as a tubular extension slowly aimed itself towards the enormous space lair of his boss's evil twin brother. "Not a problem." He said as he adjusted his watch, a glow surrounding the tunnel as it passed through Sude's shield and slid into the main, orb-shaped bridge area of the lair, the others racing over to the entryway, prepared for the fight of their lives.

The doors slid open and they entered the long tunnel, racing towards the doors at the end, but then they slid open and a large roaring sound filled their ears.

A trap. All of them were sucked down into the enormous doors at the end of the boarding tunnel with loud cries, darkness enveloping them quickly, gripping its claws tightly into them and throttling them until blessed unconsciousness set in…

And they remembered…

Nothing more.

…

…

…

…Link slowly awoke, rubbing his head, his cap having fallen down onto the hard, stony ground nearby. He slowly rose up, looking down at the faded pearly stone beneath his brown boots, turning to his left to see a large green pointy steeple that was rising up from the dark grey ramparts around him. "I'm upon a castle of some kind." He realized, standing up and looking at the wooden platforms that provided a means of climbing up to the top of an ominous-looking tower with a singular dark window, bars jutted left and right to keep whatever occupant inside tightly imprisoned. A steeple caught Link's blue eyes not too far off in the distance, looking more like some kind of giant chimney than a proper part of a castle-

Wait…

He recognized this. If you switched out the green tiles on the steeples then…then you'd have Hyrule Castle town's eponymous castle! He was somehow atop the royal ramparts and-

…facing down something downright disturbing. A blocky being made entirely of what appeared to be polygonal shapes, which was now standing before him, slamming its fist into its palm as it tilted its head back and forth, looking him over. It looked oddly familiar in a way…he was sure he'd seen it before but…but he wasn't sure how. There was just some strange feature about it that resonated with him-

He didn't have time to think as the thing rushed at him, swinging its fist, moving so fast, so quickly, like steel lightning, the purplish/pink monstrosity just barely missing him as he rolled underneath the fighting polygon, quickly leaping back up and whipping out his hookshot, the clawed end aimed squarely at the thing's neck, wrapping around it as he yanked, HARD, launching the thing back towards him.

"KEE-YAAAAH!" Link roared out, a harsh kick slamming straight into the center of the thing's back as it let out a scream that was eerily human, and a genuine dose of regret filled Link's heart. It truly did bother him to make a possibly sentient creature suffer so, and he watched the thing fall to the ground, panting, stepping away from it to give it space. "I will give you a chance to submit. I promise I will let you keep your life." He spoke as gently as eh could to the heaving polygonal thing.

But the thing just rose back up, rushing at him, thrusting its knee into Link's gut as Link let out an agonizing cry, falling to his knees before a harsh punch knocked him to the ground, the thing sitting down ton top of him and pulling his leg back as if to snap it clean off. Link gasped in pain, one hand digging through his belt as he tossed something out at the polygon's head.

A bomb. It bounced off the thing's circular head, popping up into the air, the stupid thing stunned long enough for Link to roll away just in time as the bomb came back down and with a THRUMBA-KOOOOOM, the thing was launched through the air, slamming into the steeple across the way with a pained grunt. Link spun the Master Sword through the air as he raced towards the thing, which pulled itself free of the steeple, holding its fist up which glowed with a powerful orangish/yellowish light-

"FALCON…PUNCH!"

BRAKKA-THRUCK! Link went soaring backwards, passing over a small whispy little build up of wind that was quickly turning into a raging volcano that would have been just the right size to suck him up. He quickly raced away from it, jumping up onto the wooden platforms to climb higher and higher up the prison tower as his opponent leapt up through the air after him, barreling at him, trying to grab hold.

Link swung his sword, aiming the flat down on top of the thing's head, making it come to a crashing halt in the middle of the tornado as the fighting polygon was sent spinning rapidly around and around, finally letting out a pained scream as it soared up-up-up…

And then crashed down to the ground, the metallic shell around it shattering, revealing Link's worst fear. It had not been a copy of his comrade. It had been the real thing. Captain Falcon was lying there, barely conscious… and desperately clinging to life.

"How…?" Link murmured.

…

…

…

…Kirby rubbed his smooth head with his stubby little excuses for arms as he looked around the strange new surroundings that completely enveloped him. In a way, this new area was cheery, friendly and lovely. It was a welcome change from the oddly-threatening inner workings of Tachyon's flagship, and it made him think back to his precious Dreamland. Soft, fluffy clouds…a sweet pinkish/orange sky with an enormous tree to his left, an enormous beating heart with a large, smiling face on the front. It rocked back and forth on the twisting tree, dozens of different fruits hung off the vine-esque tree in the place of leaves, from apples and berries to watermelons and bananas, all giving off a divine aroma that stimulated Kirby's nostrils as he crept towards it…

Before stopping in place, realizing where he really was. There were three platforms around him, two slightly to his left and right but still high above his head, with a final platform high above the center of this enormous little slice of land that appeared to be floating in the middle of nowhere. This earthen chunk that was hovering in a sea of pinkish/orange, just…existing…what was going on?

Then he saw the thing that was facing him, the big bulbous muzzle, the shape of the tail and the legs…this vaguely dinosaur-esque thing…this strange, purple-pink polygonal freak…

"DON'T YOU MOCK MY FRIEND! You're a lousy imitation!" Kirby roared out, leaping through the air, his fist slamming hard into the thing, launching it back a few feet before it rerighted itself in midair, firing off an egg-shaped object at him which exploded, sending tiny pinkish/purple shards flying along with the pinkish opponent that was Kirby. Kirby growled a bit, leaping back at the thing and barreling straight into it, just simply wailing on the thing over and over before its long tongue knocked him back and it aimed another egg at him.

This time Kirby was ready. He swallowed the egg up and then spat it out. With a THROCK it knocked the thing clear in the middle of its head…a crack showing in the polygonal suit covering its prey, revealing the real Yoshi ever-so-briefly as Kirby gaped in surprise.

"Yoshi?" He murmured.

…

…

…

…Fox couldn't believe it.

He was somehow in space and sitting atop the Great Fox as the Zebes galaxy floated far, far away in the distance, and facing down a strangely colored metallic thing that was seemed to fairly float across the surface of his "baby". It's tail slightly curled and uncurled, strange, soulless eyes gazing intently at his face as it curled its paws, a dark, almost black ball of pulsing and flickering energy forming above it. Fox gasped, quickly leaping up into the air, trying not to question why he was somehow still BREATHING in what was supposed to be a vacuum as the thing continued to launch ball after ball at him, a dark, cold chuckle coming from it.

"Orokana…" It whispered, Fox getting caught in the shoulder, as cold, foul pain ripped through him. He let out a pained gasp as the being advanced towards him, a burning blackish/purple flame rising from its paw as it launched another ball right at him.

But Fox had come prepared. He still had his tech. he quickly hit a hidden button on his belt as a neon blue light shimmered around him, forming a hexagonal shape, the ball of energy promptly bouncing off it, the assault foiled by Fox's reflector as it struck back at the being whom had thrown it, knocking the polygonal thing clear through the air with an agonized cry.

Fox stood up as the thing picked itself up, glaring darkly as Fox whipped his pistol up, firing to stun at the thing as it suddenly teleported closer to him…closer…CLOSER!

A moment later it was right in his face as a burning black fist of energy slammed him into the ground, and then its tail wrapped around him, holding him up, strangling him as it cut into his neck, the being smirking visibly. "Watashi wa makeru wake ni wa ikanai." It coldly informed him, holding another paw up as Fox saw the simmering blackish/purple energy beginning to form, knowing the thing was going to sear his face off, its eyes aglow with psychic power.

He had to act quickly. He activated the reflector again, the harsh electric shock ripping through the thing's body, launching it backwards as it gasped in pain, little blue shocks hissing through the air as Fox approached, the thing moaning deeply as it rubbed it's head, struggling to try and stay conscious, a sympathetic glint entering Fox's eyes as he looked down at the thing-

…really looked down at it. Really analyzed its body structure and thought about the powers he'd seen. He quickly took his gun to the thing's forehead with a powerful strike, a metallic shell falling away, cracking off like pieces from a hardboiled egg as Mewtwo looked up at him, gasping in pain.

"What…happened to me?" He managed to murmur out to Fox as the rest of the polygonal suit faded and Fox helped him up.

"I was hoping you could tell ME."

…

…

…

… "This ees rather…weird." Mario remarked as he faced down the metallically-sheathed being before him that so closely resembled his brother. He appeared to be at his beloved Peach's castle, a pink steeple rising up into the sky as the Mushroom Kingdom glittered far below…

Or rather, the actual CASTLE hung far below whatever strange building he'd been dumped on with this polygonal fighter he was facing off. This seemed to be a pale imitation, a cheap bare-bones effort to mimic the tallest region of the castle, with a large double set of bridges hovering overhead, attached to a large platform as an extending stone platform rose out from the huge chunk of castle ground he was standing on at the moment. After a few moments, the stone platform rolled back towards the center of the "castle" only to extend out the other way, constantly going back and forth as he and his opponent circled each other.

Finally Mario made a move, his palm burning with reddish/orange light as he launched a small fireball at the polygonal thing that faced him down, the thing being knocked back a little before it launched off a fireball of its own, which swerved up and down in the air a little unlike Mario's, which was a swooping overhead-esque ball of flame. Mario quickly ducked to avoid it, then shot forward, his fist catching underneath the thing's chin, knocking it up into the air.

Not wanting to waste any time, he leapt up into the air, his fist uppercutting the thing squarely in the stomach, the "cha-cha-chinging" of coins echoing through the air as the fighting polygon was knocked flying into the air. Mario grinned inwardly as he landed back on the castle bridge as the thing descended back towards him…

Spinning rapidly around in a tornado, like-

This couldn't be coincidence, it COULDN'T, Mario insisted to himself as he was struck again and again with the rapidly gyrating fists and feet that slammed into him, sending him through the bridge and far, far too close to the edge. He quickly re-righted himself, launching up into the air and grabbing the edge of the castle, slipping back up and kicking the being in the leg, his forehead shooting forward.

BA-BRAAAK!

"Ooch. Nobody wins weeth a headbutt." Mario moaned out, rubbing his forehead as Luigi fell out of the metallic shell that had eneveloped him, collapsing on the ground. "Luigi! Luigi, bro, get up!" Mario begged, shaking his brother awake as Luigi rubbed his head.

"What…what happened?" He asked.

"We got separated. Have you-a seen the others?"

"No idea." Luigi murmured. "Hard…hard to tell where ANYONE went…"

…

…

…

… Pikachu couldn't believe it. He was looking at the proof that the thing he was seeing was really happening right now, but he didn't understand. How had Jigglypuff get turned into this…this metallic monstrosity that was blanking staring at him at the top of the steely Saffron Company towers? Saffron City's population had been emptied from the city and everything was eerily silent and quiet…like Jigglypuff, who hadn't said a word despite Pikachu having tried for the past five minutes to get her to just say ANYTHING. All she did was stare at him.

"Come on, Jigglypuff, PLEASE, I am begging you, say something."

"…h…h…"

He'd heard something that time. He inched closer, closer, and he could faintly see the outline of her eyes slowly widening. "Help…me…" She managed to whisper out from the inside of the polygonal shell. "Heeeelp…m-m-mmeeeee…c-can't…can't m-move…inside here…"

Pikachu felt around the shell she was in, holding up a fist and charging it with electricity as he heard Link call his name. He brought the electrified fist down hard onto Jigglypuff, the shell shattering as he helped her out, Link and the others climbing up the tower to join with them. "She was in one of those strange metallic shells as well?" Link inquired. "How did Crazy Hand accomplish this?"

"We were all knocked out. Evidently for longer than we thought. Long enough for that monstrous manipulator to do what he wished. He WANTED us to come on board so we could end each other and do his dirty work for him." Mewtwo reasoned, his tail sweeping back and forth in the air as he dug his paws into his arms, grinding his teeth. "I felt such…such disturbing fury and ruthlessness rise in me." He added softly.

"I wanted to punch Link's face in. I can't believe I was thinking "Punch his face in" to ANYONE…" Captain Falcon mumbled, holding his hand over his face, shaking it back and forth.

"It was like every animalistic thought I'd ever had just…just popped up. My brain shut off, y'know?" Yoshi insisted.

"How come you weren't forced to fight Pikachu, though?" Fox wanted to know as he looked Jigglypuff over as she shivered, Kirby patting her back in a comforting manner.

"I-I don't…I don't know, I…I was just…I felt frozen all over, I…" She shuddered. "It felt like I was suffocating slowly."

"Maybe Jigglypuff's not really that…nah, couldn't be…" Fox muttered.

"What?"

"Well…maybe the others had "issues" that this shell could tap into, but you don't. You're just too…NICE for this. Too cute."

"What?" Jigglypuff gaped, mouth opening as she puffed up and angrily shook his fist at Fox, whacking him in the leg, though he obviously couldn't feel a thing. "Who cares about cute? I'm bad! BAD! Who's bad?"

"_You're bad." _Everyone groaned out all at once, rolling their eyes.

"In any case, we'd best get a move on. These areas are specially-generated worlds, but all have back door entrances and exits which I've managed to locate with a little swift examination of our surroundings." Mewtwo bragged as he put a paw on his chest. "We should be able to find the others in no time."

…

…

…

… "Oh come ON." Nick groaned as he looked up at the enormous, hulking goliath that was the polygonal Donkey Kong. "Not THIS." He muttered. "And not HERE."

He knew too well what this place was. Donkey Kong's Congo Jungle. A wooden area with revolving platforms in a carnival-esque fashion over his head, more platforms held up by large trees, a jungle all around and a floating barrel moving back and forth beneath the seemingly-all-too-frail wooden frame of a structure he was on. This place was so tiny…and it was so easy to fall off…

At least, when you considered the fact that your opponent could cross to the other side in TWO SECONDS.

**"TEN THOUSAND BLISTERING BARNACLES IN A THUNDERING TYPHOON!"** Nick screamed out as he covered his head with his hands, racing through the air as the enormous metallty-sheathed Donkey Kong hurled bananas plucked from the nearby trees at him over and over. He was going to be squished by foodstuffs. How humiliating-

SPLORK! One beaned him hard in the legs and he went down, gasping and panting heavily in pain, his lower body on fire as he tried to get up from the platform and failed. And yet, even as Donkey Kong approached to deliver the final blow, all he could think of was "Who SAID fruit was good for you"?

Ah, the mind of a trained comedian-

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Nick was taking a beating, but luckily help was on the way. A minute later the Smashers arrived in full force from above, descending on Donkey Kong. All had grown up in less than ideal situations. All of them had adapted to the dangers of their respective worlds. All of them knew how to fight.

But the adventures they'd gone on together had changed them further. Now they knew how to fight btogether/b.

Mewtwo gripped Donkey Kong's head, his eyes aglow with purple energy as Pikachu slammed his electrically charged fists into the ape over and over as Captain Falcon wailed on his back, Samus on the forehead of the gigantic monkey, slamming HER fists down hard. All the while Fox, Yoshi and Kirby delivered harsh punches as Link helped Nick up with Mario and Luigi kneeling down and looking over the wounds.

"Are you-a feeling okay?" Mario asked, Link pulling out a small red healing potion from his many pouches as Nick downed it on the spot, hacking and coughing.

"Ahh thahk suh." He mumbled out.

"What?"

"Ahh thahk suh!" Nick said, a bit more loudly, realizing that his voice was damaged, heavily strained from being constantly wailed on. He rubbed his throat, gasping a bit as Link tilted his head back and looked inside. "Whah happah?"

"Your internal bleeding seems finished but…your throat appears very badly scratched and ravaged…and…something's dripping from it."

_Oh, that'd be when I tried to vomit but I couldn't because Donkey Kong kept trying to turn me into a pancake, forcing the-_

"BLAUGGHHKAAH!" Nick turned on his side, vomiting profusely as Mario and Luigi flinched, Donkey Kong falling to the ground nearby, a loud THA-BWOOOM noise echoing through the jungle as the metallic shell peeled away from him, the others all dusting themselves off as they looked over the barely-conscious Donkey Kong. "Uggghhhh…"

"He's out." Captain Falcon insisted as Nick staggered up. "Guess you can't assist us with your unique ability if your throat's that damaged."

"I'm afraid I don't have any more healing potions on me." Link admitted.

"And I am afraid I do not know any regenerative abilities either save for ones that pertain to self-healing." Mewtwo added with a slight shrug. "You will simply have to wait."

"Uh uh!" Nick insisted, frowning. He did NOT want to leave these guys hanging, but a look from Samus through her visored helmet told him that he wasn't going to win this argument. He sighed, shaking his head back and forth before Link handed him his ocarina. What? But he didn't know-

"No time like the present." Link said. "I'll teach you as Farore did. All ocarina songs are in the key of "C". You remember that from the piano, correct?"

Nick nodded as he held the ocarina to her lips and blew. "Low C." Link informed him as Nick rearranged his fingers. "Keep at it. Once you figure out where the right notes are, you'll know how to play."

Nick tried to picture himself holding a piano up to his lips instead, whistling a little through the ocarina as the others headed towards the next "stage", a doorway sliding up from the center of the platform to deposit them in their next destination…

"This seems needlessly cruel." Samus mumbled darkly as they looked over at the metallically-covered Ness Elliot as he spun his yo yo in a circle, shifting his feet back and forth like he was trying to breakdance fight…

…wait.

"GET THIS THING OFF ME!" Ness yelled out as he began to roll around on the ground, screaming and hollering on the floating chunk of forest floor. Specifically, the forest of Whispy Woods that Kirby frequently frequented at his pretty little home planet, home to the living tree named Whispy who was watching the scene, blinking stupidly in confusion. Much like our protagonists!

"Not so fast ya lil' rascal. You can't keep resisting me forever." Crazy Hand's voice remarked from Ness's mouth as the young, trapped child weaved around before them all. "Come on ya little brat! Stop making this hard on me!"

"Get!"

BAM! Ness slammed his body against one of the trees as their "stage" continued to float in the pretty little blue sky that Crazy Hand had designed for this area, the towns of Popstar floating some distance far below.

"OFF!"

BAM! He slammed himself against another tree.

"OF!"

BAM! "Ouch!" Whispy cried out, blowing Ness back with a gust of wind from his considerably powerfully-lunged wooden body, Ness being slammed into another tree.

**"ME!"** With that final slam, the polygonal shell that had covered him promptly began to fade before their eyes like a sketch that was dissipating under a deluge of white out, Ness collapsing on his knees as the others ran to his side and helped him up, the child panting and heaving. His brow was matted with sweat and he flapped his striped red and yellow t-shirt as he struggled to get his bearings. "UGH! It feels like I was wearing a metal sweater all over my body!" He moaned out. "And my undies are soaked! UGGGGHHH!"

"Poor kid. I've been there." Samus thought to herself, blushing inwardly as another doorway opened, though they could visibly hear angry, furious chattering and snarling from within the doorway that slowly rose up to their right. One by one they entered, all wary of what would lie within.

But at first glance, there was an air of…beauty. They appeared to be in an enormous cavern of some kind, with gigantic dark blue crystals lining up and down the walls on the metallic platform that hovered high above, a shimmering greyish/silver crystal structure in the center, rising up like an explosion that had been solidified and made into a moldable shape. Yet despite this pretty, solemn, glittery environment, there was a very large, glaring issue that was in front of them all. An issue that all-too closely resembled Mario, flanked by an ARMY of polygonal fighters.

"I call them…Metal Mario and the Fighting Polygon Team!" Crazy Hand announced as he descended down from the stalactites above, everyone giving him a glare or nervously looking the horde of fighters over. "They're my greatest creation!"

"All these are are animate metallic shells." Samus said, scanning them over with her incredibly useful visor. "What are you using to control them, nanochips you stole from one of your mad scientists?"

Crazy Hand's fingers twitched eratically as he muttered "a present from E.G.O" under his breath and they all chuckled a little. Clearly he HADN'T gotten the brains in the family. "Anyhow! Metal Mario! Fighting Polygon Team! I want! Them! bDEAD!/B D! E! D! DEAD!"

"That's ees not how you spell-" Mario began to say in a helpful tone before his metallic counterpart knocked him back with a punch so hard it felt like he was being assaulted with a boxing glove lined with lead. Everyone else leapt at the fighting polygon team as Crazy Hand cackled overhead, flying up to just watch the tussle from above whilst Nick tried to play the Ocarina.

"_Come on, think, think. They need a song. They need a fighting song. Something, anything!"_ He thought to himself, his watch eerily silent. Why, WHY couldn't it activate now? Why did it have to be so temperamental? The thing was almost use-

He noticed something was displayed on the top. "Keep it simple."

…simple. Start with something simple. What was simple, he thought to himself as the KRA-KLANG noise of striking metallic fists and feet rang through the air against flesh and steel, the others doing all they could to fight back. What was simple?

Mario was not having an easy time. Though he punched and he kicked and he struck and smacked and slapped and whacked, the thing was just knocked back, albeit further and further just a little bit with each little addition of pain. But despite his best efforts, the thing wasn't being adequately repelled. It refused to just get BEATEN, and now had him by the throat, pinning him to the harsh platform ground beneath him, the smell of coal filling Mario's lungs as it's cold, empty eyes glared down at him, as if channeling some kind of hatred beyond human understanding.

"I could…use…a…little help!" He called out.

"We're all…ERRGH! Kinda…PINNED DOWN at the moment!" Captain Falcon snapped, pinning a polygon to a floating platform above, pulling its leg back further and further until the thing snapped off inhis gloved hands, making him gape in surprise at it before he launched the arm through the air, the polygon following after. "Thank goodness these things are so light!"

"This…doesn't feel light! HELP!" Mario gasped out again, beating his fists uselessly against Metal Mario.

_Zelda's Lullaby._ He knew that song. He knew it more than any other Zelda song, even more so than the theme to the series itself. And so he took careful alignment of the ocarina with his fingers…and so Nick began to play.

It wafted through the air, calming, sweet, a gentle little song to induce peaceful feelings and even more peaceful dreams. A reminder of the one that Link loved, the one who made the series so well known. And a signifier of childhood and adulthood combined…as he played it, those around him began to slowly snort and murmur, their eyes slowly shutting as everyone promptly slumped over to their sides, hitting the ground as sleep quickly overtook them. Nick finished up the tender tune, quickly racing over to the remaining polygons, launching them over the edge of the platform one at a time. All that remained was-

Metal Mario woke up. Nick had slung him over his shoulder and had been inches from the edge of the playform when the thing began to beat on his back. He howled in agony, the others waking up, seeing Nick staggering around. "Nick!" Pikachu yelled out in horror.

"Gah…gaht…dis…" Nick gasped out through his ravaged mouth as he hurled himself over the edge with the monstrous metallic makeshift Mario, falling, falling, down, down towards the crystalline ground below as it jutted up. Nick grit his teeth. It was like falling out an airplane, he told himself. Only last two seconds this was gonna-

…

…

…

… "I would like it pointed out that none of you know true pain until you fall off a cliff on a ten thousand foot drop to be shattered on sharp, jagged gem-encrusted spikes below." Nick mumbled as Samus looked him over with her helmet, the kid lying on his side, groaning a bit from "phantom pain" as the others looked him over with Samus. No injuries that they could see, but…still…

"I could feel your mental anguish for a full second." Mewtwo said coldly. "…I would not like to ever enter your head again."

"What about…Crazy Hand?" Nick mumbled, holding his face in one hand. "Wh-where'd…where'd he go?"

"We don't know. He took off running through some hatch overhead. We wanted to follow after him but then you popped back HERE." Samus admitted. "It never fails to be…unsettling…how quickly your body recovers."

"I could do without the incredibly massive pain that comes from every death if you don't mind, chief." He mumbled as he stood up, flinching heavily. "UGH, it feels like my lower body's fallen asleep and I've got three headaches pounding at once. And you don't wanna KNOW what my chest feels like." He added as he limped over to the nearby crystalline structure and rested himself on it. "But-but we still gotta…gotta go after him, I guess. Mewtwo, do you think you can, y'know, float us all up after him with your mind powers?"

"My psychokinetic ability is perfectly capable of bringing us to him." Mewtwo insisted calmly. "I am quite tired of all this. He put me in a metal shell and used me as a tool. And I swore I'd never be used again…" He added darkly.

"This is it." Pikachu said, slamming his paw into a palm, tiny sparks shooting off. "Time to end things. Time to finish him off for good!"

"I too am tired of him constantly retreating. It shows a sign of cowardice that he can't face us on his own, he has to throw his…his GOONS at us." Link added, as he looked over his sword, his face reflected in the blade. "…we've come quite a long way, haven't we? And all of it was leading to this, defeating the one responsible for turning our worlds upside-down."

"You have NO idea how much I've been looking forward to this." Samus muttered darkly.

"They say revenge is a dish best served cold. We've been waiting twenty minutes for you to wait up…I'd say the dish is pretty cold by now!" Kirby laughed, whacking Nick on the legs and making him go "EEEGGGHHH" as he cringed.

"Then we're all in this together!" Mario proclaimed, pointing upwards. **"Let's-a GO!"**


	38. Chapter 38, Epilogue

**CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT**

**Author's Note: Oh GEEZ, this is embarrassing! Having to balance my new class, work and trying to get stuff up on the internet all at once is really annoying. And I've got such awful organizational skills. This kinda sloppiness just can't cut it!  
**

* * *

Slowly they rose up through the hatch, up through a long tunnel-way, propelled the psychokinetic might of the psychic feline that they knew as Mewtwo. Slowly and purposefully they made their way towards the ever-so-faint smattering of lights up in the distance, rising through the pipe they appeared to be in to their Final Destination. All of them were ready, all of them were prepared. None were willing to back out now.

This was it. This was the last struggle against Crazy Hand. This was where they took control back from the one that had ripped it out of their hands and right under their own noses. This was IT. He was dead. It had been personal, but now it was bigger than all of them.

A farmer's son.

A pink marshmallow.

A pair of Italian plumbers from Brooklyn.

A child from 50's America.

A bow-wearing balloon.

An electric rat.

A giant gorilla.

A futuristic race car driver.

A big red mercenary from outer space.

A dinosaur steed.

A vulpine star-fighter.

And, last but not least, a bardic teenager.

Heroes all, dedicated to putting an end to what was nothing left than the utter domination of all the Multiverse.

And what a showdown it would be, for as they finally popped out of the pipe, they found themselves in an oddly fitting fighting arena, an enormous floating platform of dark, purplish steel, what appeared to be well-formed stained glass acting as a floor. The platform slowly hovered in place in the long abyss of space, stars faintly flickering around them like a thousand points of light, the occasional shooting star blazing its way across the expanse as Crazy Hand slowly descended, his form twitching, shifting as he giggled in his high-pitched, lunatic voice.

"Finally, we get down to brass tacks!" He laughed.

"Thees has been-a long time coming." Mario said as he slammed his hand into his palm, Nick adjusting his watch, smiling visibly down at what was displayed. Heroic fighting music! And from this own series, no less. He was about to press play, but Mario held up a hand. "We've got thees." He insisted.

"Stay back, Nick. You've already done so much for us. We should return the favor." Link insisted as he held the Master Sword high, the glint of the thousands of stars around them reflecting off the blade as everyone prepared themselves, Pikachu holding up a single digit as lightning sparked around it, Samus beginning to charge up her arm buster.

"It's not about FAVORS." Nick insisted. "I just wanna help."

"When they need it, they know you'll give it to them." Kirby insisted as he whacked his "chest" and proudly puffed up, holding a stubby little hand dramatically in the air. "We know you've got our back, homey!"

Silence as everyone slowly turned to stare at him.

"…I can't pull it off, can I?" He asked, sighing slightly.

"No. No you can't." Samus told him bluntly as Kirby blushed before he punched at the air a few times.

"Fine. Let's just asphalt this asshole!" He proclaimed.

"BETTER." Nick complimented as everyone rushed forward, Crazy Hand rising slightly in the air, fingers twitching as they arched up and began to glow, sparkling beams of light shooting out in zigzaggy motions, "TSEWWWWING" as they did so, Nick reeling back in horror as Ness dived away, his hat frying on the spot, Samus ducking as Jigglypuff held up her singed bow, Fox hiding behind his reflector shield.

"What in the…what was THAT?!" Donkey Kong yelled out, rolling out of the way of another cutting laser.

"My God…Crazy Hand IS a true threat!" Nick proclaimed in horror, pointing dramatically at the floating white glove that would have been smirking if it had a mouth. "He has FINGER BEAMS!"

"He stole that from ME!" Master Hand snarled to himself, the blue-scaled form of Snizzi holding up a single orange-gloved digit in front of his mouth, letting out a "shh" as he did so, an unseen, spectrally-shimmering portal hovering behind the floating platform, the two watching from behind Nick's back.

"I told you. We're not here for that. You made a promise to me, now you're keepin' it." The imp said, his red eyes alit with near-unholy glee as he rubbed his hands together, inwardly cackling like mad. "Now we'd best talk to him here, get it over and done."

"You're not going to wait for some dramatic moment?" Master Hand inquired, looking confused.

"His friends may need him later. At the moment, they're barely holding their own, but still…holding their own. So we do it now and get it done. I'm evil. Not INCONSIDERATE." Snizzi insisted as he reached out and tapped Nick on the shoulder, Nick whipping around to see the two standing in what appeared to be Tachyon's bridge through a faint distortion of air which was circling before him. "We need to **talk**."

…

…

…

…Meanwhile, the Smashers were, though holding their own, in something of a pickle. Mostly because while they could dodge and endure whatever Crazy Hand was throwing at them, getting in counterattacks was proving…problematic at best. And IMPOSSIBLE at worst.

Samus fired off her buster at Crazy Hand as he leisurely hovered around, his form now eerily imitating his brother as he calmly chuckled, Fox firing off HIS blaster as Link pulled out bomb after bomb, all of them trying to defeat the beast from a distance. Unfortunately, nothing seemed to be working-

KRAKKA-THRAMP!

And then there was the assault HE was leveling at them, holding up his fingers in a "gun" gesture, pointer and index finger aimed squarely in their direction and blasting away, enormous golden bullets the size of giant barrels slamming into Donkey Kong as he held up his thick, powerful arms to block the biggest blasts.

Despite that, he couldn't jump around and block them all. Jigglypuff and Kirby were constantly being knocked about, Jiggly letting out loud, screeching yells of "Jigglypuuuuuuf" as she soared up into the starry night sky above them, Kirby reeling back, whacking into one of the others as Mewtwo teleported out of the way again and again, trying to read Crazy Hand's mind in an attempt to find a weak point.

But this proved to be a very. VERY. Bad idea. For now HE was sent reeling back, howling, clutching his head as he began to froth at the mouth, gasping and panting as Samus gingerly helped him up, kneeling down by him as Ness erected a glistening, light teal shield around himself and leapt in front of his two comrades, the enormous bullets slamming into Ness as he proudly smirked, Crazy Hand growling in fury.

"Why aren't you being reduced to a micro-sized pile of _gore_?!"

"My PSI Shield blocks all kinetic damage and redirects the energy spent…into giving ME energy in its place!" Ness proclaimed proudly.

"Block THIS!" The furious Crazy Hand angrily proclaimed, his enormous hand of a body swinging towards Ness as he was PLOWED right into a charging Luigi and Yoshi, Mario leaping through the air, slamming his fist into Crazy Hand, falling down onto the platform for a swift Captain Falcon to grab him and roll away as Crazy Hand tried to grab at the plumber.

"I've got an idea." Samus told Kirby as she nodded at him. "Swallow me."

"Whuh?" Kirby blinked stupidly in surprise, gaping slightly at her. "You want me to **what**?"

"Swallow me. Copy my abilities. You can do that, can't you? Without digesting me?"

"I could just get you right back out, yeah…" Kirby said as Captain Falcon's fist slammed HARD into Crazy Hand with a burning, searing energy, the afterimage of a falcon lingering in the air. Kirby took a deep breath, maw opening wide. "Well, quick! Climb on in."

Samus took a breath, diving into his soft, pillowy maw as Yoshi descended from high above Crazy Hand, his legs moving in a swift series of flutter kicks, Crazy Hand's borrowed form flinching and angrily smacking him away as he clenched his hand into a fist, Donkey Kong gasping as he struggled not to be knocked clear off the platform, Fox's blaster fire riddling against the enormous mastermind's body.

**BOOP**!

Everyone glanced over their shoulder. Now there were…two Samuses? What in the heck?!

"One!" Kirby raised HIS arm buster.

"Two!" Samus raised HER buster.

"THREE!" With a thunderous boom, the blast shot through the air, striking Crazy Hand squarely in what would have been his face, his white form rocketing back as he twitched and spasmed, little tiny bolts of energy sparkling off him.

"Keep…keep it up…" Mewtwo managed to mumble out as Pikachu knelt down by the downed fellow Pokemon. "He's…he's not as invincible as he looks…he…he has a specific limit…I could see it in his head…a number, 300, repeated again and again and…and now that number has lowered considerably…"

_They wouldn't hear your music and they pulled your paintings down…_

_They wouldn't read your writing and they banned you from the town…_

_But they couldn't stop your dreaming…and the victory of one…_

_For you sowed the seeds of freedom in your daughters and your sons!  
_

_In your daughters and your sons, in your daughters and your sons,_

_you sowed the seeds of freedom in your daughters and your sons!_

…

…

…

…Nick scratched his head as he looked from Snizzi to Master Hand, a confused look on his face as Master Hand nervously turned ever-so-slightly to the right, the red-horned imp chuckling to himself, finally bursting out into real laughter as Nick folded his arms before his chest. "What's going on?"

"I…well…" Master Hand sighed deeply. "My brother and I are…we've been at this for a long time. Our struggle against each other has lasted for many a decade. Time and time again we've fought in the name of control…"

"What do you mean?" Nick asked. Suddenly a little idea popped into his head, an unpleasant possibility rising out from his mouth. "Wait. Do you have ANYTHING to do with what he did?!"

"…yes." Master Hand sighed. "…have you ever partaken of the game called Dungeons and Dragons? Consider my brother and I "Dungeonmasters". And all the multiverse…is our board…"

"I understand." Nick said quietly…angrily. "You yank people out of their lives and stick them in these scenarios against each other. You make your little "teams" and battle it out for FUN, is that it?"

"No, no!" Master Hand waved his hand…well, HIMSELF, really…in the air in a fervent fashion. "We **CREATE**beings imitating those we respect and admire…we take the spirits of those we have gained admiration for, infusing them into the empty vessels we create for our campaigns. And when the campaign is over, the spirits are returned to the point they'd been taken from. But no time passes, I assure you, no harm comes to them!"

"Then…all the guys are…copies?" Nick asked quietly.

"Just dolls with the spirits of the ones they imitate inside." Master Hand said. "And when this is over-"

"Wait. What happens to their realities?" Nick wanted to ask, scratching his head again.

"They aren't real." Master Hand said. "They don't matter. I made them and I can unmake it easily. The bodies you've grown attached to have no value whatsoever. Only the souls within are of value, and if you do your job well, and win my campaign for me, you'll ensure they can return to their homes."

"They HAVE homes!" Nick insisted, pointing accusingly at Master Hand, a tiny vein popping up on his forehead as Snizzi smirked. "Link has a farm to get back to, a world with Goddesses in power that need to discover humility and what it means to really do good among the people! Kirby's world just got taken over by a giant evil CLOUD that turned everything into a technightmare! Pikachu-"

"Those are NOT who you call them. They are just dolls. That's all they've been." Master Hand insisted.

"Maybe at first, but not MORE." Nick insisted, turning away from Master Hand, his tone becoming cold as he grit his teeth. "I…I can't trust you anymore. You don't care about the pople in your stupid games. But I've been out there with them working alongside them. I've been SAVING them whenever I can, I've seen how real they are, through and through!"

"…Nick, please, you have to understand. These dolls have no real life of their own without the spirits inhabiting them." Master Hand insisted, his tone becoming supportive and soft as he hovered near Nick, putting his…self…on Nick's shoulder as best he could. "And if I don't return those spirits to their proper place, the REAL Link…the REAL Pikachu…the real Samus, Kirby, ALL of them…they WILL die. Their worlds will die, unable to be saved by the ones that rely upon them so often."

"…that's not _fair_." Nick mumbled as he walked off, looking out a nearby window on the bridge, Master Hand sighing.

"People cannot always be fair to everyone in the name of being absolutely just. Sometimes a lesser evil must be countenanced." Master Hand insisted. "You don't realize that yet…maybe one day you will." He snapped his fingers, the portal opening back up. "Go on through. I'll ready the ritual to return their spirits to their true homes." He went on, leaving the bridge as Snizzi walked up to Nick's side.

For what seemed to be a long…long time…they said nothing. Did nothing. There was nothing echoing in the room but the faint sounds of the machinery in the walls…and yet, somehow, there seemed to be the faintest echo of that simple, almost childish and petulant sentiment…

"That's not fair"…

_Your weary smile, it proudly hides the chain-marks on your hands,  
_

_As you bravely strive to realize the rights of every man…  
_

_And though your body's bent and low, a victory you have won,  
_

_For you sowed the seeds of justice…in your daughters and your sons!_

_In your daughters and your sons, in your daughters and your sons,_

_you sowed the seeds of justice in your daughters and your sons!_

"He won't help you. He doesn't want to go down the slippery slope. If he does it for one, he'll think he has to do it for them all." Snizzi told Nick as the imp put an orange-gloved hand on the young human's shoulder. "But you know better than him…at least, in this regard. And you're very precious to me. So…I'm willing to offer you a deal."

Nick gaped at him. "A deal with a devil."

"I'm an IMP." Snizzi said with a shrug. "Will it really be so bad? Besides. You gave me life. You brought the spark of true self to me. You've been giving it to the dolls all along. But you'll need someone who can give them a real charge of their own for them to make it without the original spirits inside. You'll need…"

"Someone who can give them real spirit." The familiar, melodious voice of Sude spoke up, walking up to them. "Since I have the power…that somebody is me. But…we wish to make a request of you. There is a world in peril many, many dimensions separate from this one. You must prepare to enter it and be ready to adapt and survive in ways you may not be ready for at the moment. But the lives of trillions depend on action being done…"

"And your help there means I'LL get a foothold in that dimension. New souls to get hold of or…care for." The imp added. "I AM ruler o'er the Federation right now…among…other things."

"So you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours?" Nick asked, looking a bit surprised. "Alright. Fine by me!" He cheerily remarked. "I'm just fine with that, but…I gotta ask." He turned to the white-furred Seraphi, looking the draconic Sude squarely in the face, hazel into black and green. "Why you?"

"…the worlds there in that realm we need you to enter have…been systematically stripped of hope and choice. I…I cannot continue to allow that. If there is an injustice against some youngling on a planet lightyears away, then I myself am slighted. If there is some poor soul going hungry, my soul feels starved as well. If a single child cries for what they've lost, I weep along with him. Everyone is connected." The white dragon went on, putting a hand on Nick's shoulder. "And we all have an obligation, a duty, a sacred right and privilege, to be just and good to one another."

"It only hurts when they cry." Nick said, nodding in understanding. "And I'm only sad…when there's tears in their eyes." He went on, looking back at the portal…looking at his friends.

"Will you really be fine with leaving them once this is all over? Leaving for what could be years and never coming back?"

"No. But it only hurts when they cry." Nick insisted quietly. "…I was never in this for me. Ever. And if they're really my friends, then…won't they understand?"

_I don't know your religion, but one day I heard you pray,  
_

_For a world where everyone can work and children they can play!  
_

_And though you never got your share of the victories you have won…  
_

_You sowed the seeds of equality in your daughters and your sons!_

_In your daughters and your sons, in your daughters and your sons,_

_You sowed the seeds of equality in your daughters and your sons!_

…

…

…

… "So you can walk the walk. But so…can…I!" Crazy Hand cackled, hopping onto the platform with his index and pointer fingers acting as giant "legs", smoothly moving forward, whacking Ness and Mewtwo aside as the two psychics tried to level a psychokinetic double blast, finally FLICKING Kirby squarely into Luigi, who reeled back slightly as Jigglypuff, having finally come back down, landed squarely on Crazy Hand, an idea coming to her.

"REST!" She proclaimed, as a mighty psychic "KA-RAKK" echoed through all of their minds, Crazy Hand reeling back from a surprising telepathic blast leveled out from Jigglypuff's subconscious as she fell UNCONSCIOUS, plopping down into Mario's outstretched right arm, the plumber holding up his other arm as he yelled out for the others to hear. "Leenk! Cover for us! Fox, Falcon, light heem up and Pikachu…breeng da thunda!"

Pikachu smiled. "Hai." He said firmly, slamming his little fist into his paw as Fox McCloud was embroiled in a burning aura of flame, shooting up through the air as Captain Falcon's LEG was wrapped within a similar miasma of searing-hot energy, Link's swift bomb assault blasting Crazy Hand back, explosions rocketing through the air…

Before Pikachu's yellow form shot up above Crazy Hand and he spread his arms and legs out. "THUUUUNNDEEEEER!" He proclaimed, a white-hot bolt of powerful electrical energy slamming down from him, as if Thor himself was giving the little electric rodent a "freebie". Crazy Hand's borrowed body that so imitated his brother let out a high-pitched YELP as he flailed around slightly in the air…

Flailing around as the skies around them began to swirl, the inky blackness bending and converting into a strange, odd purplish/blue haze that was transfiguring into a giant whirlpool of a black hole far, far off in the distance…a portal from which there appeared to be no return.

"NOBODY get knocked off the platform!" Mario insisted thoroughly. "Everyone, we stay on our toes and geet heem from afar!"

"Don't give them orders they won't be able to follow, you stupid little goomba!" Crazy Hand snapped, his finger glittering slightly, a faint "SHING" ringing through the air as Mewtwo erected a psychic shield as best he could, panting heavily as Crazy began trying to POKE him to death, the shield shattering as Donkey Kong caught the psychic cat in his arms, gently putting him down as Link spun rapidly through the air, his blade slicing into Crazy's outstretched finger with a "**SCHUNKA-SHLINK**".

Crazy's cry of "_YEEEOOOOWWWWCH_!" echoed through the air, his voice becoming more and more high-pitched every single time they dealt him a significant blow, his body twitching slightly as he raised himself back up to repeat the Finger-Beam trick, everyone diving and rolling around to avoid his deadly assault as Nick popped back out of the portal, holding up his watch-covered arm, snapping his fingers as pieces of the platform EXPLODED, sending people flying. Mewtwo grabbed hold of Samus, Captain Falcon grabbing hold of HIM since the cat didn't have the best upper body strength whilst Donkey Kong snared Fox, Yoshi grabbing Mario with his tongue, who was holding onto Luigi, trying to keep his brother from floating off.

"You ready to give me something I can work with?" He asked out loud, the watch beginning to play a song as the others took up fighting positions anew. Each of them shot forward as Nick leapt up, spinning through the air, fist held high. He KNEW this song.

"What is this?" Mario asked.

"Instrumental cover of an old favorite of mine." Nick told him, biting into Crazy Hand's body, mouth half-full of glove. "NAGGGHHH! How's that? How's that? How you likin' that?"

Teeth and fangs and claws and paws and fists and feet. All would be used today, for this…was war. And use them they DID, the sudden onslaught overwhelming Crazy Hand, who tried in vain to break away, but there were now so many ON him, all attacking at once. Yoshi was kicking again and again, Kirby punching along with Donkey Kong as Pikachu's electrically-charged whacks banged into the enormous floating glove again and again.

Mewtwo and Ness burned at Crazy Hand with psychic fire, Samus firing off her buster rapid-fire, not caring if her gun overheated whilst Mario and Luigi's own fireballs turned up the heat. Fox joined in with Yoshi, delivering rapid kicks again and again like he was dancing a jig on the giant glove, Jigglypuff just whacking her head into Crazy over and over again as Captain Falcon delivered his signature punch time and time again…

And with that, it all became too much for Crazy Hand. He let out a howling, hair-raising screech of unearthly pain and agony, everyone falling off as he ROCKETED off through the air. All seemed to be moving in slow motion as everything around them began to turn white, Crazy soaring off into the slowly-vanishing portal, banished from the realm by their beat down…

They had won…they had won, and now they were going to perish in the existence that was collapsing all around them, in the pocket dimension that was Final Destination…

There was nothing but white filling their eyes…absolute silence…

But they had won…

…they had…

…peace.

_They taunted you in Belfast and they tortured you in Spain, _

_And in that Warsaw ghetto, where they tied you up in chains,_

_In Vietnam and in Chile, where they came with tanks and guns,_

_It's there you sowed the seeds of peace…in your daughters and your sons!_

_In your daughters and your sons, in your daughters and your sons,_

_It's there you sowed the seeds of equality in your daughters and your sons!_

…

…

…

…Nick awoke slowly to find himself surrounded by the lifeless forms of the beings he had come to call comrades and friends, the softness of the Smasher's front lawn all around him as Master Hand held up his fingers, cupping tiny balls of light which floated about ever-so-slightly in his gentle grip. As Nick stood up, he rubbed his sore behind, gritting his teeth a bit. "Ooch. So…are those…?"

"Yes." Master Hand said as a swirling portal opened up behind him, the fabric of space and time ripping open to reveal an oddly familiar sight…that of thousands of movie reels floating around, playing out in an empty white abyss Nick knew all too well. "This is where I must take my leave." He said, glancing around briefly. "The Entity of Life and the Imp will be here soon. I expect they'll wish to say goodbye as well."

"Yeah, well, don't let the door hit you on the way out." Nick snapped angrily, turning away from the gigantic hand as Master Hand growled.

"You have NO idea of the duties I have to perform!" He roared out, Nick shuddering a bit as he was cowed into turning around. "You go from world to world, doing good on such a SMALL level in comparison to me! I must monitor, watch and care for hundreds of realms! And if you are lucky, one day you may get MY job, little Guide! With the knowledge that no matter WHAT good you'll do, you'll ALWAYS have to make sacrifices for the greater good, that you cannot "juggle" things or "find a balance"! You're not MEANT to establish any kind of balance."

Nick frowned slightly. "You hate your job that much?"

"I despise being cast as some unfeeling THING that rules without having ever getting my hands dirty. I got mine dirty for EONS to get to where I am, doing everything I could to help others whom I had NO reason to do anything for. But I did it because it was simply the right thing to do, same as you. But I came to realize something. You can't care about being "fair and balanced". Life is not about balance. Balance has nothing to do with logic, morality or TRUE fairness of any kind. You exist to tip things as far to the scale of "everybody good is happy", and if you can't do that, then you give those people a fighting chance to do it for themselves."

"You think you're giving their worlds a fighting chance just taking away the people that were their best and brightest?" Nick asked, gesturing at the fallen, solemnly silent "Dolls" around him. "They had lives of their own. Maybe lives on borrowed time, but still…"

"Those worlds will make do with the good you helped bring about. They've been tipped towards the right side thanks to all you did. They might not remember these people, nor you, but you've never been so…OBSESSED…with being remembered. You care about doing good. And I need to return these spirits to do the most good, the "true worlds" **WILL** die without those spirits returned, THOSE are the rules! And if other worlds should encounter problems, I can always simply create new champions."

"You had perfectly **good** ones." Nick muttered as Master Hand floated through the portal, Sude approaching, his body faintly aglow as he knelt by Link, putting a single large silver claw on his forehead. "…and the Hyrule I visited…the Dreamland they landed in…the world of Pokemon I was dragged to…they're gonna have them again."

"And you have a deal to keep." Snizzi said as he nodded, putting a hand on Nick's shoulder, Link's eyes fluttering open as Sude knelt by Kirby next.

"I know."

"…but…well…you've done a considerable amount of work…and once you get to that realm, you'll be fully committed, so…perhaps your trip there can wait a few weeks…" The imp went on suggestively. "I imagine you'll want to see your family again."

"…r-really?" Nick asked. "I can…just _relax_?"

"We'll set up a portal for you to freely pass from your home to here. Similar to what you had before. No displacement of time or anything." Sude insisted as Samus opened **her** eyes next. "You have earned it, and done a great deal for all of these fine people."

"They deserve a break too." Nick insisted. "After everything they've done. All I did was guide them, really. That's what I'm here for."

"You're too humble." Link said as he slowly got up. "…but there's naught wrong with that." He added, holding out his hand as Nick shook it. "You gave us back our worlds. And you're giving us a future."

"You…heard all that stuff?" Nick nervously asked as Pikachu nodded, for now HE was awake and was sitting on Nick's shoulder, patting Nick on his head.

"We really do appreciate it. You stuck up for your _nakama_. I couldn't be more proud to call you my…my trainer." The electric rodent insisted. "The beings who's bodies and souls we imitate would be proud if they knew the work we've done."

"We've got bright futures ahead of us." Mario insisted as he nodded firmly, blinking as he realized his Italian accent wasn't NEARLY as thick, smiling inwardly at this little gift. "We all played a part. Everyone contributed. But you got the ball a-rollin'."

"Yeah…" Nick said as he looked up at the mansion before him, thinking of the well-deserved time he now had off to just…be Nick. And to just be with his new friends and family. Time they ALL deserved to just be something other than Smashers. Time they deserved to just be A farmer's son. A pink marshmallow. A pair of Italian plumbers from Brooklyn. A child from 50's America. A bow-wearing balloon. An electric rat. A giant gorilla. A futuristic race car driver. A big red mercenary from outer space. A dinosaur steed. A vulpine starfighter. And, last but not least, a bardic teenager.

"I've only known trouble all my life." Samus admitted. "…and I'm looking forward to some real peace."

"Here's to just being US at the end of the day.' Link insisted as he held up an empty healing potion bottle.

"That thing's **empty**." Pikachu said.

"True. But I know **just** what to fill it with!" Link laughed, all of them heading inside the doors of the mansion, laughter ringing through the air as the clouds slowly passed overhead, a calming wind settling upon the land.

They had won.

They had peace.

_And now your music's playing and the writing's on the wall,_

_And all the dreams you painted can be seen by one and all!_

_And now you've got them thinking and the future's just begun  
_

_For you sowed the seeds of freedom in your daughters and your sons!_

_In your daughters and your sons, in your daughters and your sons,_

_you sowed the seeds of freedom in your daughters and your sooooons!_

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

**EPILOGUE**

* * *

Master Hand, watching from a one-way shimmering window to their far right, chuckled to himself, a large collection of recently-animated beings standing behind him. "I think they already know." He said with a softness in his voice.

"What about all that you said about the "greater good" and the like?"

"I meant quite a bit of it. But there's something I believe more of than the greater good. And that's having your cake and eating it too." Master Hand told them, waving a giant finger in the air, wagging it in a slightly-admonishing manner back and forth. "They earned the lives they crafted from your spirits…and much, much more than that. They deserve this. Let them have it."

"Let them eat, drink, and be merry. But you know of the world the boy is going to enter, don't you? The realm of existence beyond the Veil, into…the territory that will mark the new stage?"

Master Hand turned quiet as he slowly wheeled around to look back out at Nick, the kid walking inside the mansion with the others in tow. Had he a face, the gigantic floating hand would have been biting his lip.

"The first contact that shall lead to the beacon…the dual natures, both different sides of the same coin…and all shall lead to the Collection…" Master Hand murmured, slowly floating off through the portal with the others to return them to their proper homes…

"…**and he shall be brought to the unending death."**

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Many thanks to all who read and reviewed this story. Thanks for sticking it out this long. I'm gonna get right to work on my next story, which will be another novelization/adaptation, one which might very well be my most ambitious undertaking, whilst, at the same time, releasing little mini-stories to sate everyone's desire to read interesting fanfiction in the meantime. **

**What will the new big fanfiction be about? Well…you see…**

**In the year 2148, explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient spacefaring civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling travel to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of space and time. They called it the greatest discovery in human history.**

**The civilizations of the galaxy call it...**

**_MASS EFFECT._ **

**Ohhh yeah. This is gonna ROCK. :) **


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